This story involves members of the bands Backstreet Boys and N'SYNC. I am in no way implying anything about the sexuality of any of their members. This is purely a fictional story. Enjoy!
This is my first attempt at writing a story like this so please bear with me. Please send any comments and/or suggestions to jaclarke@hotmail.com
Loving Nick - Part 7
"Uh, I was just out walking a bit," Lance muttered.
"At this time??" JC asked, obviously not believing Lance's explanation. "Come on, Lance, you've never been good at lying and this time is no exception. Tell us where you've been."
Lance was caught and he knew it. He tried to look away from the guys, but that's when Brian noticed something different about Lance.
"Have you been crying, Lance?" Brian asked.
Lance didn't answer.
"It's Nick, you've seen Nick, haven't you?" Brian appeared to be able to see right through Lance's thoughts.
Lance froze when he heard Nick's name. He had no idea how he was going to get out of this.
"And you two had an argument," Brian continued, "because of us, right?"
Lance nodded in defeat, knowing that there was no way he could hide this.
JC and Brian walked up and hugged Lance. "It's okay," JC said softly. "It's not your fault, Lance. We appreciate you trying to help us out but I don't think Nick's going to forgive and forget so easily. And we can't blame him, you know."
"I know, JC," Lance finally responded. "It's just that it hurts to see all my friends acting as enemies and all. It's killing me inside."
"Try and get some sleep, okay?" Brian said, trying to calm Lance down. "We have a big concert tomorrow."
Despite trying hard to fall asleep, Lance found himself tossing and turning in his bed. He felt so useless and helpless. He had started out to help Nick through his problems but ended up making them worse than before. He wasn't angry at Nick at all, but was angry with himself. "Why did I run out on Nick? I promised myself that I would be there for him no matter what?" Lance thought. As these thoughts were going through his mind, he found himself starting to cry. He so desperate wanted to be with Nick, to hold him close and to spend time together. Over the past few days, his love for Nick has grown exponentially. What had started out as a secret crush had blossomed into true love. Yet to Lance, it seemed that the love was extinguished before it even had a chance to grow, and it was all his fault.
Morning came with Lance not getting any sleep at all. He looked in the mirror as he was getting changed and he looked horrible. He didn't care, since the only person he wanted to look good for wasn't with him anyways. He dejectedly walked to the room where everyone else was having breakfast and going over last minute details for the concert that night. Contingency plans had to be made since Nick wasn't going to perform at the concert.
Lance walked in to a room bursting with activity. But as he walked in, everyone seemed to stop talking and all attention focused on him.
"You ok, Lance?" Justin was first to ask.
"Yeah, I'm fine. Just not enough sleep, that's all," Lance replied with a weak smile.
With that, no further questions were asked. Little did Lance know that JC and Brian had briefed the guys on their encounter with Lance last night and everyone agreed not to pester Lance with questions.
The limo ride to the concert venue was long since they were stuck in traffic. No one was talking since they wanted to give Lance some time alone. The radio was on but no one was really listening.
"And our next song was requested by Nicholas who wanted to dedicate this song to his very good friend James. Here is 'Hard to Say I'm Sorry' by Chicago," the DJ announced.
"Everybody needs a little time away, I heard her say, from each other, Even lovers need a holiday, far away from each other, Hold me now, it's hard for me to say I'm sorry, I just want you to stay.
After all that we've been through, I will make it up to you, I promise you. And after all that's been said and done, You're just a part of me that I can't let go.
Couldn't stand to be kept away, just for the day, from your body, Wouldn't want to be swept away, far way from the one that I love, Hold me now, it's hard for me to say I'm sorry, I just want you to know. Hold me now, I really want to tell you I'm sorry, I could never let you go.
After all that we've been through, I will make it up to you, I promise you. And after all that's been said and done, You're just a part of me that I can't let go."
As the song ended, streams of tears were streaming down Lance's face. He knew who the Nicholas who requested the song was. He also knew who the James to whom the song was dedicated was. He felt so lucky that Nick would say these sweet words to him, but he felt horrible that he ran out on Nick the night before. He can't believe that he let a few words push him away from his true love.
JC noticed Lance's tears. "What's the matter, Lance? Are you okay?" JC has been very concerned since last night, but this was totally out of the ordinary for Lance. He never cries unless he is extremely upset.
"I'm okay, JC, thanks. It's just the song, it's so touching. I've always loved this song so much," Lance said, fighting to control his emotions.
Everyone was getting ready to get on stage and final words of advice were being traded. This was their second and final concert in Montreal before the tour would move to Ottawa. Despite all the frantic activity backstage, the atmosphere seemed less lively than usual because there were none of Nick's pre-concert pranks and jokes. Only now did everyone realize how much Nick contributed to the whole dynamic of the group.
The first part of the concert went extremely well. The Backstreet Boys' adjustment to 4-part harmonies from their usual 5-part songs went without a hitch. Although many of the fans were disappointed that Nick wasn't at the concert, they were still extremely appreciative and excited throughout the performance.
After the intermission, both the Backstreet Boys and N'SYNC went on stage to do several numbers together. Before the song started, Kevin and AJ walked to the front of the stage.
"We know that by now, most, if not all of you have heard the press release issued by Nick yesterday. We want you to know that despite the relative success of our concert tonight, all of us miss Nick a lot," Kevin began. "We want to thank all of you for being so understanding and supportive, and this is why we feel that all of you deserve to know that truth about why Nick is not here tonight."
Lance's eyes shot wide open as he heard those words. "Are they going to tell everyone about Nick being gay???" he thought. His heart was racing and panic began to set in.
"The truth is, Nick left the group because he had to deal with some personal problems, as he explained in his statement," AJ continued. "But, give credit to Nick, he acted so selflessly in not revealing the fact that we were the reasons that he left."
The audience sat in stunned silence at the revelation.
"Even though we've been friends for years, we did something that was very wrong and in the process we hurt Nick very badly, to a point where Nick felt that he could no longer tour with us. We were so wrong and we jeopardized our friendship because of a stupid act." AJ was getting emotional as he continued the confession.
Kevin continued where AJ left off. "Wherever you are, Nick, we want to tell you how truly sorry we are. We know that very often, saying sorry cannot repair the damages already done, but we just want to let you know of our true feelings." Kevin was choking back tears as he was saying this.
JC then walked up to the front along with Kevin and AJ. "We will be your friends forever, no matter what, Nick. And we just want to dedicate the following song to you. We hope that you can hear us from wherever you are tonight."
With that, both groups launched into an extremely emotion rendition of "Show Me the Meaning of Being Lonely." The audience was touched by the performance and some were in tears.
As the song ended, most of the Backstreet Boys and N'SYNC members were in tears as well. As the audience was about to applaud the performance, a familiar voice could be heard.
"Show me the meaning of being lonely...is this the feeling I need to walk with..."
The guys on stage looked to the back of the stadium. There, standing at the end of the aisle, holding a microphone, was Nick!!
Nick slowly walked to the stage, singing his own rendition of the song, truly expressing his feelings. As Nick continued singing, his voice began to shake as he struggled to contain his own emotions. Tears began to form as he got closer to the stage and his singing broke down into short segments. His voice began to crack as he began to cry with more intensity. He managed to finish the song as he arrived on stage, and the other members of the Backstreet Boys rushed to hug him. Nick opened his arms and they all embraced each other. The audience took in this reunion from their seats but they were clearly very happy at the turn of events. After several minutes of hugging, Nick walked over to the guys of N'SYNC and hugged them also. When he got to Lance, however, he was slightly hesitant, no knowing what Lance's reaction would be. After a few seconds of thought, however, Nick gave Lance a quick hug.
Nick took his microphone and walked to the front of the stage. "These past few days have been a very difficult time for me, but in this time I've grown up quite a bit. Despite the difficulties facing me, I'm thankful for a certain friend of mine who stood by me throughout this time," Nick said as he addressed the crowd. He quickly glanced at Lance and noticed that he was looking at the floor, although Nick was sure that he saw a small smile on Lance's face. "I want to express my utmost gratitude to him through this next song. I also want to take this opportunity to apologize to him for the way that I treated him during this period. I was not an easy person to deal with during this time and I so regret having wronged this true friend." Having said that, Nick sat on a stool and began to sing "I Need You Tonight." He deliberately glanced at Lance throughout the song and Lance knew that Nick was singing the song especially for him. Lance wanted to run up to Nick and hug him but he knew that he would have to wait until after the concert.
Nick's song melted Lance's heart. He could tell that Nick was truly sincere about everything that he said and he could feel his love for Nick growing stronger than ever before. After the concert, everyone went backstage and continued celebrating their reunion.
"I'm so sorry, guys," Nick began. "I've been acting like an asshole the last few days. Please forgive me?" Nick put on his sad puppy face that totally made it difficult for anyone to say no.
Brian hugged Nick again. "No, we should be the ones saying sorry. I don't know what came over us but what we did was stupid and wrong. We all love you, Nick."
"Nick, are you feeling alright?" AJ suddenly asked. "You look kinda pale."
"I'm fine, AJ. Thanks. Just kinda tired, I guess," Nick responded with a smile.
"Thanks, guys, for accepting me for who I am. I know it's difficult to get along with me, but I promise you guys I'll try not to be a pain in the ass in the future."
"You've never been a pain, Nick," JC responded. "We just like you for who you are. You don't have to change a thing, just be yourself."
Nick nodded and smiled. He hadn't felt this happy in quite a while. It seemed as though a huge rock was lifted off of his back.
Everyone began to pack their belongings to get back to the hotel. As Lance was packing his things, Nick walked up to him. Lance turned to face Nick, not really knowing what to say. As Nick was about to apologize to Lance once again, Lance pulled Nick into a hug and whispered, "Don't apologize, Nick. There's no need. I understand."
Nick looked at Lance with amazement, not understanding how anyone could be so forgiving. Then, Lance whispered, "I love you, Nick. I always will," into Nick's ear. Nick looked at Lance and smiled. He had Lance back and this time, Nick was not going to let go.
Once arriving at the hotel, everyone headed back to their room to shower and to get some much needed sleep.
"Lance, you want to come to my room to chat a bit," Nick asked, hoping that Lance would say yes.
"Sure, Nick. Just give me about half an hour? I wanna take a shower first and then I'll meet you in your room?"
"Cool. I'll be waiting!!"
Lance tried to shower as quickly as he could. He felt like he was in heaven. Having lost Nick and now having him back was an amazing feeling. He was determined to love Nick with all his heart and would do absolutely anything to make Nick understand his love for him.
Lance changed into some new clothes and made his way to Nick's room. He knocked on the door and waited for Nick to open the door. When no one responded, Lance knocked again. Still there was no response. Lance knocked harder, but no one answered the door. Lance was panicking a bit now. After knocking for another 5 minutes without an answer, Lance decided to try to knock down the door. Being totally out of his normal character, Lance charged at Nick's door and kicked it open.
What he saw once he got inside Nick's room made Lance scream in horror. Nick was lying on the floor, unconscious. In his hand was a small bottle and all over the floor were hundreds of white pills...
...to be continued....
What's wrong with Nick? Was he trying to commit suicide? Or was it a drug overdose?
Please send any comments and/or suggestions to jaclarke@hotmail.com