Well he did dump Taniqua, I made sure of that. After he said he would dump her, I grabbed his phone and handed it to him. "Do it then!"
"Now?" he asked.
"Yes."
"But I don't know what to tell her. Why don't I wait until the morning?"
I don't know why his hesitancy angered me. "Fine, do whatever the hell you want to do! I know you, Lionel! Tonight it's wait until the morning, tomorrow it'll be wait until the next day, and the next thing I know, months will have passed and we'll still be in the same fucking spot!" I grabbed my half- packed bag. "Well, no thank you."
"I won't let you leave." He grabbed my arm again and this time he tightened his grip.
"You can't stop me," I said as I ripped my arm away.
"I'll do it! Okay, I'll call her right now and tell her it's over, but please don't leave." I couldn't help but feel a little sympathy for him, especially when he dropped to his knees. "Please don't leave me. I'm begging you. Please don't." His tears started to fall again and that was all it took to weaken me.
"Don't cry, Lionel. It's okay. I won't leave you." I rubbed my fingers across his head.
He looked up at me. "I'll do it! I'll call her right now." His voice was a little shaky.
"You don't have to call her right now. Take a few minutes to get yourself together and I'll help you figure out what to tell her."
It took Lionel about five minutes to calm down enough for us to make a plan. I knew Lionel couldn't tell her he was dumping her so he could be with me, but that was the only good reason I could figure out. We ended up making up something. He turned up his cell so I could hear what Taniqua was saying. I sat down next to him and he called her.
"Hello," she said. I was surprised at how well I heard her.
"Hey, Niqua."
"Oh, hey baby. What are you doing?"
"Um, I need to talk to you about something."
"Is it about Lucas? Is he okay?" the concern in her voice made me want to cry for her.
"No, it's not about Lucas. It's about us."
"Us? What about us?" She sounded worried.
"I think we need to break up, because this isn't working for me." He was cold and callous when he said it.
"What? You can't be serious!" I could tell she was starting to cry.
"I am. It's over." Wow, he was being cruel. The plan was for him to let her down gently, but he was definitely not on that page. Then I thought about it, he's not a gentle person.
"What did I do? Why are you doing this to me?" She sounded so pitiful.
"Look, you knew when this first started that it wouldn't last. I'm too much man for just one person. Come on now baby, you know that. Now, it's been fun and you've been great, but it's time to move on." I didn't know whether to laugh or smack him, because his voice changed to some sort of smooth talking player type voice and it was funny, but at the same time, what he was saying was mean and he needed to be slapped for that because it was wrong.
"Oh my God! Oh my God! I know what it is!" I wondered what was going through her head, but I didn't have to wait too long. "It's Lucas, isn't it? I saw the way you two looked at each other tonight! I knew it! You're a fucking faggot! Both of you!"
I watched the expression change on Lionel's face. "What the fuck! Bitch I ain't nobody's fucking fag! I was trying to let your ass down easy, but if want to go there, we can fucking go there. I don't want you! I'm sick of fucking you. I'm ready to move on. Now get off my fucking dick, bitch!" He hung up the phone.
She called him right back, but he ignored it. When she called two more times, he turned off his phone. I didn't know what to say to him because he didn't follow our plan and now the shit was hitting the fan so to speak. I told him how to let her down easily, but he had to do it his way. Now I was worried about what would happen next.
Lionel and I got in to an argument about how he handled Taniqua and we decided to just go to sleep and sort things out in the morning. I woke up at about 3:00am because of knocking on the door.
"Open the fucking door Lionel!" Then the knocking turned to banging and I assumed she was kicking the door. "Open the fucking door!" I was wondering who the hell let her in to the dorm and for the first time ever, I wished that our dorm had a curfew because this shit was twisted. I sat up on my bed and looked over at Lionel. Lionel was standing in the middle of the room in his boxers. He looked over at me.
"Should I go out there," he whispered.
"How long has she been out there?" I asked.
"I'm not sure, but I've been woke for about the last 5 minutes of it. Where's Henry when you need him?"
I laughed a little. "I don't know man. I don't know."
"Well?"
"Well, what?"
"Should I go out there?"
Before I could answer, I heard Taniqua say, "I can hear you in there motherfucker! Now open the goddamn door!"
I was about to tell Lionel not to open the door, but he started walking towards it. "This bitch is crazy!" he said as he reached for the doorknob. I was scared of what was waiting for him on the other side of that door, but he didn't seem to care much.
He opened the door and closed it behind him. I heard some whispering then Lionel came back in the room. I watched him grab some clothes. "What are you doing?" I asked.
"I have to go talk to her."
"By yourself? Is that safe?"
"She won't hurt me. I'll be fine, now go back to sleep." I watched in silence as he put on his clothes and walked out the door. I knew I wouldn't get any sleep that night, so I just got up and did some homework.
Lionel came home around 9 am. He said everything was handled and their relationship was over. A little voice in my head told me he was hiding something, but I wanted to believe him so I didn't question it.
All of that was three weeks ago. Since then, Lionel and I are not together, but we are trying to sort out our feelings, which is another way of saying that I am waiting for Lionel to come around and realize how much he cares for me. He's been super sweet lately and just really a great person to be around. He makes me feel good about myself. He's always complimenting me and he gives me massages sometimes when we get back from practice. He's bought me flowers a few times, and we went on our first real date.
The date was two weeks ago. He took me out to dinner at this nice restaurant with no waitresses named Taniqua. During the date, Lionel told me, "I'm not gay, I just like you. You're the only guy I've ever had the hots for." I tried to get him to talk about it some more, but he refused to say anything else on that issue. The rest of the date consisted of light conversation. Overall, it was a beautiful evening that ended with a tender kiss on the lips.
We have gone on a few other dates since then, but nothing compares to the first one. The gentle kiss that he planted on my lips that night plays again and again in my head. It was the perfect first kiss, you know, if it was our first kiss. The rest of our dates have been equally as nice, but no where near the same emotional connection. I keep wondering when he will make it official between us. He never went on more than one date with a girl unless he made her his girlfriend. I was hoping to be treated the same, but I haven't been as fortunate. He's even violated his first date rule with me. Lionel is the kind of guy who doesn't call a girl back if she doesn't put out something on the first date, but he expected nothing of me. I tried to take it further than just a kiss, but he refused.
I don't know why his refusal bothered me, but it did. It just rubbed me the wrong way. Speaking of things that rub me the wrong way, he still talks to Taniqua. It really bothers me and I've told him that, but he doesn't seem to care so what can I do about it? The two seem to have a good friendship going and I don't want to be the insecure, jealous non-boyfriend type person. I want him to be happy and having her as a friend makes him happy. I wish it didn't but it does. I think she is our biggest issue right now, but we don't talk about her much.
So, I am sitting in my room trying to study when I hear a knock at the door. I open it and there is Taniqua. "Lionel's not here." I say in the nicest voice I can force out.
"I'm not here for him. I need to talk to you." She walks in to my room before I can even invite her in.
I close the door. "So what do you want to talk to me about?"
"You need to leave Lionel alone."
"Huh? What are you talking about? Lionel and I are just friends."
"We both know that's not the truth. He denies it, but I know he tried to dump me because of you."
"What do you mean tried to dump you? Are you two still together?"
"Yes. That's why I'm here. You need to leave my man alone so we can be a happy family. His child needs him."
"Child? What child?" I asked bewildered and still in shock.
"Oh, he still hasn't told you that I'm pregnant?" She forced an innocent look on her face, but her eyes told me that she was doing all of this on purpose. She was trying to hurt me. "I thought he would have told you by now. He's known for three weeks."
"Well he hasn't mentioned anything so I guess it's just not that important to him." I don't know why I started being bitchy towards her. It wasn't me and she wasn't the one I was upset with. I didn't want to fight her for Lionel.
"Oh, it's important to him! He went to the doctor with me the other day, and he keeps telling me how much he loves me and that we're always going to be together and how he wouldn't leave his child and"
"Why are you telling me this?"
"Because I knew he wouldn't. Look, I know you want him, and I know that part of him wants you, so I'm coming to you now, woman to, well you know, I'm coming to you now to tell you to back off and let him be with his family."
"What? Do you seriously think I believe a word you're saying? Lionel would never tell you that you'd always be together. I know him better than that, and I'm not going to stop being friends with him, just because you're afraid that he might want me. I can't do anything about your insecurities. Now if that's all, you can leave." I flashed a small smile. I pointed to the door and said, "You know the way out."
She started walking towards the door. When she got to the door, she opened it and then she stopped. She turned around and told me, "I'd leave him alone if I were you. Don't say I didn't warn you." Then she left.
I closed the door behind her and locked it and got in my bed to cry. How could Lionel do this to me? And was she trying to threaten me, or was she really trying to warn me about Lionel? A few minutes later, I heard the door unlock and Lionel walked in. I turned to look at him, and he dropped his bag when he saw my face. He closed the door and said, "What's wrong?"
"Taniqua stopped by." He suddenly looked sick.
c Lustyville 2006 Please send comments to lustyville@yahoo.com and check out my yahoo group at: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/lustyville.