Chapter 10
There wasn't an issue with Christoph as a person, but Lukas wasn't sure that there could ever be anyone good enough for his dad to accept or the fact that he was giving up a potentially lucrative career and moving to, of all places, Austria, the country that violently persecuted him and his family only a few decades before.
He didn't know what his Dad would think, but before the call, he thought to ask the advice of Uncle Sev.
"Luka, can I first ask you a question?" he said as Lukas sat down in his usual chair next to the bed.
"Sure, go ahead," he answered, resting his elbows on the chair arms as he gripped one hand in the other.
"Were you anxious in a similar way when you told your Dad that you were gay?"
Lukas began to rub is hands nervously. "To be honest, yes, I think so. But this is different, you know. I'm giving up a career and coming back here, to Vienna, a place that he couldn't wait to get away from."
"That's all true, Luka, but you know your Dad, right?"
"Yes, I think I do now. I'm not sure that I could have said that before I told him that I was gay. But I guess I have to say...that yes, I do know him."
"And you know that he has faith in you and trusts you, yes?"
Lukas thought about the question.
"Yes, I know he does. But to be honest, maybe I don't fear a hostile reaction so much as how I might hurt him that I'm moving away. We won't be in each other's daily lives as much as we could be. I just hate thinking of him being lonely and maybe thinking that I've abandoned him."
"That is an unselfish way of looking at it, and very, how you say, `empathetic'," he answered. "But there are other things to consider, too."
"First of all, he has other family - your sisters - who are rooted there with their own relationship to him, and he has Rena and Fexl and his nieces and nephews, too. That's one thing. The other is that you need to make it part of your life plan to keep that link alive. You aren't the first father and son who have been separated and there are those who have gone before you who have put in the extra effort to make it work."
"It's your life, but in German I'd use the plural, `Sie,' meaning both your and Christoph's," he said, raising two fingers. "If it's important enough, you will create your own ways of keeping the family together, ways that will be unique to the two of you.'
"You're fortunate to have family, Lukas. A lot of people, especially after the war, lost everyone, and on top of that, didn't even have a home to go back to. Your father told me what happened to people on your Mom's side, cousins that you never met. They were decimated. So, keep in mind that you have something special and do everything you can to make it work for both of you."
Lukas did call his Dad and talk. There was no questioning of his motives or the sincerity of his relationship, which was the most important thing to Lukas. He also accepted his abandonment of a career in law, confessing that Lukas probably wouldn't have followed it even if he hadn't met Christoph.
The only sticking point, which his father ultimately seemed to accept, was moving back to a country that had treated his family so badly. Had Austria changed? Lukas didn't mention all the details but said that Christoph had similar concerns and would always be there.
A timely support call from Uncle Sev didn't hurt, either.
Lukas stayed with Uncle Sev until the doctor gave him 100% clearance to go back to work. While staying at the villa, the guys still hadn't done anything seriously on the physical side of their relationship. As the experienced' one, Christoph was concerned with pushing too hard and wanted to make sure that Lukas was ready for the next step.'
Knowing that they couldn't be married, but still wanting to commemorate their relationship, Uncle Sev surprised them with a trip to Mykonos as a `wedding' present for the legal nuptial event that they couldn't have.
"What do you think of this? Lukas asked as they sat on the couch in front of the TV in Christoph's living room after Lukas had inserted a weird kind of cassette into Christoph's new VHS machine. A few times they had necked on the couch, but Lukas could never stay late because of his commitment to Severin. But that was now weeks ago.
"This might seem weird, babe," he said on the first night that he didn't need to return for medical watch. "But I kind of want to wait before I stay over. I mean...I know this is us, but I kind of want to do something special, or go someplace special, if that makes sense. This would be...romantic, you know?"
They were in this for the long haul, and Christoph could wait, although there were times he ached to get his hands and lips and legs around his boy. But it would be Lukas' first time, and if he could make that something special, then all the better.
Now with this invitation, it seems like the opportunity had certainly arrived.
"I think that I'd love that,' he said, patting Lukas on the leg and giving him a peck on the cheek.
They looked over the invitation together, which was written on the inside of a greeting card for the New Year. On one hand, he couldn't think of a better gift. But would Lukas really be ready?"
"Are you prepared for a trip, just the two of us?" he asked.
Lukas leaned over and returned the kiss on the cheek. "Yes." He answered firmly, then leaned into Christoph as he liked to do whenever they watched a movie.
Christoph had never before been south of the Alps, so it was just as much a geographical adventure for him as it was for Lukas. True to the management charge he had given himself, Lukas made all the arrangements, from plane, to airport transportation, to ferry and finally to the hotel - which was a beautiful group of cottages set on a cliff with a view of the ocean beyond. It was suggested by Severin as both a wonderful hotel and as gay friendly venue. They could have taken the scenic route and driven down to the coast of Greece and then taken ferry, but Christoph didn't want to take any more time off than the company's traditional holiday closure to save time for trips to the United States, so they opted to take the quickest route.
Be this time, Mykonos was no unspoiled paradise but a thriving tourist destination with a large hippie population and its own nude beaches. Christoph was exhilarated in his anticipation of the stay but kept reminding himself to take it slow and careful with Lukas. On their way from the airport to the hotel, Lukas subtly bumped his foot into Christoph's leg. He looked back at Lukas, then out the window beyond him, thinking that he was just pointing out some interesting landmark.
After tipping the cab driver and pulling their rucksacks out of the trunk, they checked in at the front desk.
"Your account is already taken care of sir," the receptionist said with a heavy Greek accent. "All expenses are pre-paid, including meals, which, according to this card, will be on a Mr. Wagner's account. It also says that he sends his best wishes."
"Gosh...thank you, Uncle Sev!" Lukas whispered to himself, but within earshot of Christoph. Severin had given them cash on top of paying for the hotel, but the fact that he had already taken care of their other expenses was definitely a surprise.
The receptionist gave the room key to Lukas and then pointed out the path to their reserved place, which was actually a small free-standing cottage. After leaving the lobby and passing a housekeeper, who gave them a warm and welcoming smile, they exited the small reception building and climbed some outdoor stairs that were lined with colorful plants against the uniformly white building facades.
Gradually, as they climbed up the time-worn stone stairs, the path revealed a dramatic view of the very blue sea beyond.
They both paused on a landing, looking at the beautiful panorama. "Schoene!" (Beautiful!} Christoph remarked, using a word that Lukas was sure to understand. He rubbed his shoulder into Lukas'.
Their cottage was just up the hill a few more steps. "Gosh, the view will be fantastic from up here," Lukas said, looking back and down at Christoph, who was only a few steps behind him. Even though it was winter, it was unusually hot and sunny outside.
Christoph was eye level with Lukas' leg and couldn't help but stare at the slim, tight muscles that extended below the cuff of his shorts. In fact, he had hardly looked at the view. He just stared at the stud in front of him as they climbed, admiring each leg muscle, from calves to quads, as they flexed on each stair riser.
He shook his head to get his senses back as he heard Lukas' remark, something about the view. "Yes, it's very nice."
When they reached their cottage at the top, Lukas put the ancient key in the small blue door and swung it wide open, or at least as much as he could. They both had to push and squeeze their backpacks through the narrow opening.
The view was glorious. Christoph had just removed his rucksack to take in the panorama and at the same time thinking about how to move slowly and gently with Lukas, make him comfortable, make it romantic. Make it special. The ambience was perfect for what he had in mind.
He had barely taken a step toward the rest of the house when he felt the firm grasp of Lukas' hand on his waist as Lukas turned him around and kissed him. But this time it wasn't just a peck. He kept the pressure on as he slowly pushed Christoph toward the edge of the room, his hands behind Christoph's head, pulling their faces even closer before they hit the wall and Lukas was practically mashing their faces together.
Taken by surprise, Christoph could hardly think when Lukas' tongue started probing his mouth.
`Wow!' Christoph thought to himself, as he reciprocated the tongue wrestling.
Finally, between breaths, he asked, "Should we take this to the bedroom, wherever it is?" which got a giggle from Lukas before he reapplied the lip lock. Then he backed off, breathless.
"Yes!" he replied.
All of the rooms were off of a central atrium-type space so it didn't take but a moment to find it. Lukas kicked off his sandals, while Christoph sat on the bed and quickly untied the laces of his shoes. After he threw them off, he looked up and saw Lukas pull his tight t-shirt over his torso.
The afternoon light streamed in behind Christoph, completely illuminating Lukas' body and it was like an apparition. With his shirt off, Lukas looked like a Greek god: his frame tapered down to a waist which was so slim for a guy of his height, making his shoulders appear wider. Right above that waist, he could see the gentle curve of each corded muscle up his abdominal wall, forming what one American guy told him was called an `eight pack'. He was almost afraid to look up, but then just followed his eyes to the upper chest.
His pecs were like two square ridges on his chest, capped by two large, defined purple nipples. The aureoles around them were especially large, making them look even more succulent.
He felt himself tremble.
While he was mesmerized, Lukas came over and pulled him up, then reached around his solid torso and pulled up the sweaty t-shirt that was sticking to his own firm body. Christoph just raised his arm when Lukas asked him to, as he twisted and pulled up the shirt.
Christoph could see Lukas smiling when he went into the darkness of the shirt being pulled over his head. When he saw him next, as the shirt was unceremoniously tossed in the corner, he saw Lukas' mouth gaping open.
"Oh, wow! Lukas said and gulped before he put his hands on Christoph's shoulders, stroking them.
"You are one God-damn-mother-fucking-hunk!" he exclaimed before again pulling them together, starting another kiss.
But as their chests pressed together, Christoph gasped and involuntarily thrust into Lukas, who did the same thing, each of them coming almost immediately before they both fell onto the bed.
"Mein Gott!" Christoph proclaimed, then breathed out a gibberish mix of German and English.
"Oh, wow!" was all Lukas could get out of his mouth.
They lay there in each other's arms, both gasping for air.
After a few moments, Christoph raised his head. "Are you all right?"
There was no answer. Lukas just reached his hand behind Christoph's head and pulled them into a kiss.
Then Christoph asked Lukas to move on top of him, nudging Lukas to straddle his waist, a request of which he was only too eager to comply. As Lukas mounted him, Christoph could see a large and spreading wet spot that completely covered the front of his shorts.
It wasn't going at all as Christoph had crafted their first time in his mind. But he still smiled.
"What are you thinking?" Lukas asked him, putting his index finger on Christoph lip.
He laughed. "I thought...I thought we'd have this romantic, slow...thing..' he said, not being able to get the right words. "But we just both just...um...exploded."
Christoph reached up and slid his hand down Lukas chest, then went into his pants. They were, of course, completely soaked with cum and what was seemed like a gallon of pre all over his the American-style tight white underwear.
He's probably been leaking pre all morning,' Christoph thought to himself. Just like me.'
He felt the soft, cut penis, coated in the volumes of white jizz and used the white liquid as a lube to gently stroke it. Then, his eyes went wide open has he felt the penis starting to harden again after only a few moments.
Shiess! (shit!)' he thought to himself. He's getting hard again already!'
Then he felt his own penis stirring.
"Let's get these off, OK?" Christoph asked as he started to unbuckle his partner's belt and Lukas did the same to him.
As the two housekeepers met up on the walkway coming from cleaning the scattered cottages, the novice amongst them remarked that she had finally got into the unit with the two guys from Vienna who had checked in four days ago.
"Have you even seen them at all?" the supervisor asked.
"Oh yes, both. I saw them check-in. I was told that one had an American passport, the other was Austrian. I think one is younger. But both are very handsome. Very handsome!" she repeated, with some enthusiasm. "And nice smiles. Very nice smiles."
"I haven't been able to clean this unit since they arrived, the `Do Not Disturb' tag had hung on the doors since they checked-in. I'm not sure that they even left it until today," she added. The porter told her that they got all their food from room service and they just asked him to leave the food at the door."
"I think that they went on some excursion someplace today, maybe a boat tour, which is the only way that I was able to service the unit. But it was kind of unusual inside."
"What do you mean,' the senior housekeeper asked. It was only the 18-year-old novice's third week, so she wanted to make sure that everything was OK.
"Well, they hadn't used the living room at all, there was just dust there, even on the television. The hospitality fruit basket on the coffee table wasn't touched at all, like they hadn't even seen it. It's like they were never even in that room."
She continued. "The kitchen was used, but just the refrigerator, nothing else. It doesn't' look like anyone even sat at the little breakfast table," she said. "If you ask me, they spent all their time in the bedroom. That's kind of weird, don't you think?" she asked, looked at her supervisor. "It's so boring to just be in your room sleeping. And the weather has been so nice."
The supervisor just sighed and rolled her eyes. "Let's head back now for break, OK?"
For Lukas and Christoph's first dinner back in Ohio, the regular monthly rotation of the Friday meal was conveniently back at Hans' house. Lukas and Christoph had arrived on a cold late February morning from New York, the last leg of their flight that had taken them from Vienna through Paris to New York and then Cleveland.
Christoph and never taken such a long plane trip before, and it was only the second time for Lukas. But Severin, who had spent much of his career carving tunnels all over the world, had coached them on long-distance plane travel and had strongly recommended that they try to stay awake and get on local time as soon as possible.
With cold winds off of Lake Erie, winter in northern Ohio can be very bleak. So, Hans did a slight detour along the lakefront to give Christoph at least some respite from the landscape of bare trees and slush covered streets.
"Do you mind if I roll down the window," Lukas asked, leaning forward to look at Christoph, who was in the front passenger seat. "I think I need a blast of cold air to keep me awake."
After getting a nod, he then asked his Dad, who said he could use a little fresh air, too.
The guys had both gotten a second wind but were also mindful of Severin's warning to avoid taking a short nap so stay away from lying down even for a moment on the two twin beds that Hans had crammed together in Lukas' old room..
Renate and her kids along with Lukas' sisters Stephanie and Diane had prepared the meal and, except for two cousins who were away at college, was attended by all the usual relatives.
The greeting for Lukas and Christoph couldn't have been warmer, as the cousins and Aunts and Uncles seem to compete with each other to make Christoph feel welcome.
But he had something important to say to Hans before he allowed himself to completely relax. After the meal, Christoph asked him if they could speak in private.
"Of course, Christoph. But is everything all right?"
"Yes, sir, everything is fine. But I think it would be good if we spoke if you don't mind."
"Ok. Let's go to my office."
Hans offered him a glass of water or beer, but Christoph declined with a thank you' and a perhaps later.'
After they sat down in opposing chairs, Christoph got right to the point.
"Sir, the first thing I want to say is that I know how much Luka means to you and the family back here. I realize that things will change with him being so far away, but I want you to know that I'll do everything I can to keep our family together, here and in Austria. I'll make sure that we call regularly and come back at least once a year and welcome you and any other family members to visit us and do the same."
"I know that you wish he wasn't so far away. I think he told you that I had first offered to come back here with him, but he insisted on staying and wouldn't budge. And that, of course, included not attending law school."
Hans interjected quietly. "Yes, I know that Christoph. And I want to assure you that, while we will miss him every day, we know that he's in good hands with someone who cares about him." He seemed sincere, but his voice didn't exactly have enthusiasm, or at least the tone of conviction that Christoph was hoping for.
"And he probably told you, too, that we have the same arrangement that you and your late wife had, that we have one boss, him. He makes the decisions and I just give him my paycheck," he said with a chuckle.
Mr. Richter smiled back. "It won't be easy all the time ,Christoph, but at least for us, it was the right thing to do. I hope that it works for you."
"It will. Like I think happened with you, I don't worry about being bossed around. I worry that he uses this to sacrifice too much for me. I already feel this happening when he buys me new clothes but nothing for himself, or very simple things like how he always give me the biggest and nicest slices of tortes. It happens with just about everything. But please be assured that I will watch over him and be careful."
They spoke more about the relationship of the Richters, and both shared stories about the selflessness of their partners. When Mr. Richter said that he saved his allowance to buy his wife the kind of nice bracelets that she used to like to wear, Christoph mentioned how he was already saving for Lukas' birthday present.
"There are a few more things that I want to say about this, about our `deal', as we call it," Christoph said sitting up in his chair.
"Yes, go ahead,"
"I agreed to our roles, but I had a couple conditions. Did he tell you that?"
"No, he didn't. What did you add?' he asked, his face now intensely focused on Christoph.
"I don't think that there is a more caring or empathetic person in the world than Luka. He sees the good in everyone, no matter how little good that they actually have in them. And to be honest, this part of his character creates a blind spot for the evil that can live in people," he said before pausing.
"Go on," Mr. Richter said, his eyes continuing their focus.
"When he first told me he wanted to stay in Austria, I said that I didn't think it was a good idea and that he wasn't safe there. Everyone thinks that the country has changed, and it's all ski chalets and Weiner Schnitzel. There is a small bit of truth to that, of course, but very small."
"I grew up in the mountains and saw more than a few unreconstructed national socialists, especially amongst the older generation. and that makes me concerned," he said, the words coming out with thought and precision.
"Maybe I'm wrong - and I hope that I am - but I'm not taking chances with him. So, I gave him three conditions for staying there," he said, with the emphasis on `three'.
"The first condition is that he does not give up his American passport. There are ways for him to become a permanent resident, but he can't give up his passport."
"The second condition is that even though he's in charge of our money, he needs to invest at least a quarter of our savings overseas until we have enough to live on for at least a year"
"Those are the first two which lead to the third."
"Which is...?" Mr. Richter asked.
"It's this: If I think the political situation has become dangerous for him then I will order him and the rest of our family out of the country. He must go immediately, no questions asked. I decide. No discussions, no hesitation, no appeals."
"And he can't return until I tell him it's OK."
Mr. Richter didn't take his eyes off of Christoph, but reached over and held his hand, not saying anything. But his eyes were watering.
"I've tried to hide this, Christoph. I haven't told anyone. But to be honest, I've been so worried..."
Christoph squeezed his hand. "Me, too. I still have trouble sleeping sometimes, thinking that I made a mistake in agreeing to let him stay. I don't know if I'll ever be able to live with myself if something happens to him. But this is what we decided and we'll make it work."
Mr. Richter wiped his sleeve then reached over and kissed him. "You can be sure that there is one good thing to come out of this conversation. Do you know what that is?
"No?" Christoph responded, looking confused.
"I will still worry, but not like I have been. I'll always miss him. But I'm going to miss you, too," he said, patting his hand.
"The last thing I wanted to say is this, and it's probably the hardest thing that I wanted to say to you," Christoph added, his head drooping down, his eyes staring at the oriental rug below him.
He exhaled.
"I know that I'm not good enough for him," he started, then paused again.
"That's pretty obvious to everyone, but especially to me. I see him every day and each day I see more and more how special he is. I can't begin to compare to him and I never will. That's a fact that I need to live with."
But then he quickly raised up his head, the face sharp and determined.
"But for some crazy and incomprehensible reason he cares about me in the same way that I care about him. And I will never forget the special responsibility that I have to take care of him."
I hope that you've enjoyed the story! I'm not sure when or if it will continue, but it's been a good trip so far. And thanks to Tony and Dick for being my long-time great editors.