MAGICIAN'S ASSISTANT 7 - TOMFOOLERY
by Deane Christopher
Edited by Steve Zink
Copyright 2001
e-mail: DEANECHRIS@aol.com
"Hey!" Jasmine quipped as she and that lesbian lover-girl of hers waited for the waitress to bring them their breakfast selections that Saturday morning. "I just thought of something!"
"And, what - Pray tell! - is that?" Mary casually asked.
"Well... and let me first preface this by saying right up front that I wouldn't have it any other way! You know, because I love you! And, I can't envision my life without you in it!
"But... and this is a big one! Given this sexual - Oh! What's the word I'm looking for?"
"Symbiosis!" Mary quizzically offered.
"That's it! Symbiosis!
"Okay! Given this sexual symbiosis of ours - You know, where you feel what I feel and vice versa! - I think it's pretty much a given that we're more or less stuck with each other! If - That is! - you know what I mean...
"I mean, think about it! Were one or the other of us to stray from the straight and narrow and have an affair, given this wacky but nevertheless extremely enjoyable sexual symbiosis of ours, the other would know it right from the get-go! You know, as in our rather unique case, eatin' would be cheatin'!
"Oh!" Mary said as she reached up under her skirt and drew her middle finger up along the nylon-encased swath of her own vagina. "I never thought of it like that! But, you're right, sweetums! I guess we are kind of stuck with each other..."
"Mary!" Jasmine, having experienced a searing sexual jolt from Mary's admittedly crass action of playing a crass game of stink-finger with herself, exclaimed in a muted whisper. "Would you please stop it!"
"Stop what?" Mary sadistically queried, as she repeated her prior action.
"Playing with yourself!"
"And, why - May I ask? - would you want me to do that?"
"Because, you're getting me all hot and bothered!"
"I am, am I?"
"Yes! And, you know you are!
"So, please! Do me a favor! Stop it right now!"
"And, if I don't?"
"Then, you'd best be prepare to finish what you started!"
"Okay! Since it looks like our waitress is about to bring us our breakfast, I'll be a good girl and stop for the time being!"
"Thank you! I would really appreciate it if you did..."
Though they had already tacitly acknowledged the fact that as soon as Jeff received his divorce decree the two of them would wed, Jeff made it officially the next day when he proposed. Mary, replying that as far as she was concerned the two of them were already as good as married, happily excepted. Several hours later, after Jeff was once again operating as the blonde bombshell Jasmine, Mary accessed her ring's magic and thereby caused her vagina to transsexual itself into an exact facsimile of her lover's manhood. Concurrently, as a direct result of Mary's action, Jasmine's mental make-up did a flip-flop; turning the emerald eyed sexpot into the epitome of a mentally attuned female. Whereupon Mary, spurred on by that newly acquired male libido of hers, got down on one knee and taking Jasmine's hand in hers, proceeded on to make her own proposal of marriage. Enjoying the irony of moment, a blushing Jasmine giddily accepted; saying as she did so that she wanted nothing more than be Mary's wife! Husband! Or, whatever!
Later that Sunday afternoon, while the two of them were at Walmart picking up a few feminine hygiene products that Mary had forgotten to pack, on a whim, Mary added a bridal magazine to the pile of items she wished to purchase.
"Oh!" Jeff said as they began to make their way across the parking lot. "So, I take it that you're going to start planning our wedding?"
"No! I'm not going to start planning our wedding! We're going to start planning our wedding!
"That's to say that Jasmine and I are going to start planning our wedding!
"And, guess what! The two of us are going to start tonight! Right after dinner!"
"We are?"
"No! We aren't! But, Jasmine and I are!
"You see, dear!" Mary playfully teased. "Given your feminine alter ego's magical ability to dicker around with whatever your wearing, I figure that we can spend an hour or so having you model wedding dresses for me!
"You're not actually serious about that, are you?" an incredulously dubious Jeff responded.
"I most certainly am!
"And, if you're good little girl and don't give me a hard way to go about all of this, I might see my way clear to tickling that new fancy of yours afterwards, sweetums..."
"You're not seriously thinking about getting married in something as skimpy as this?" Jasmine exclaimed as she got an eyeful of herself decked out in a shimmering and extremely provocative white satin teddy and veil ensemble.
"No... You're right, Jeffrey-poo-bear! I'm not!" Mary impishly intoned as she mentally called on the magic that her ring granted her access to later that Sunday evening.
"But, what I am serious about is having my way with you, sweetcheeks!
"So, what do you say! How 'bout getting on the stick! You know, both figuratively and literally..."
As expected, Jeff took a lot of ribbing from his coworkers on Monday morning about how he had spent a good portion of the previous Thursday evening as the little sexpot that Magatrix the Magnificent had turned him into. Throughout the day, people would casual stop by his cubicle and, after throwing a light-hearted gibe or two, they would wax a little serious in order to assuage their curiosity by inquiring into how Jeff felt about his time spent as a female. Oddly enough, the very same coworkers that poke the most fun at Jeff in a group situation, tended to be the most curious, congenial and down right sympathetic in a one-on-one conversation. And, though most did so guardedly and only after securing Jeff's solemn promise not to repeat what they were about to tell him, quiet a few of the guys actually admitted to the fact that they were a tad bit envious of Jeff; implying - Mostly by innuendo. - that they would jump at the chance for a similar experience.
Having spent a good portion of the weekend discussing the various matters that revolved around their newfound magical abilities, Mary and Jeff came to the mutual agreement to keep everything pertaining to that ever so erotic aspect of their lives their little secret. No one needed to know that Magatrix had made it possible for Jeff to change his sexual affiliation whenever he wished to or, that he was now committed to spending a minimum of at least six hours out of every twenty four as a member in good standing of the fairer sex. Nor, did anyone need to ever know that Mary could, in like fashion, elect to sport a penis over that trusty little honey-pot of hers.
If, at some future point in their lives, they wished to selectively inform others of their unique abilities, they could do so. But, until such an eventuality developed that would make such an announcement necessary, they had agreed to remain mute on the subject. Jeff, when Jasmine, would therefore be introduced by Mary to her family, friends, coworkers and other such acquaintances as Jeffrey Gibson's non-existent sister and later, once the two of them tied the nuptial knot, Mary's best friend and sister-in-law.
Later that afternoon, once all the hubbub surrounding Jeff's girlification had pretty much run its' course, Mary decided it was time for her to have a little harmless fun at her soulmate's expense. Having thought the matter through, somewhere in and around two thirty, Mary slipped out of her own cubical and made straight way for a far less frequented ladies room located one floor above that upon which her company's offices were situated. There, after first relieving herself, Mary, employing the middle finger of her right hand as the instrument of her lover's undoing, deftly inserted it within the multiple folds of her vagina and, locating the nub of her clit, began to ever so dexterously caress the living shit out it.
Jeff, upon experiencing the initial harmonic jolt of Mary's self-target manipulations, frantically clamored, 'Holy shit! Just what in the hell is she thinking...'
A minute later, coming over one of the shared side walls of his cubical, Jeff heard his friend Mat inquire, "Hey, pal! Are you all right over there?"
"Yeah..." Jeff managed through gritted teeth. "Everything's fine!"
"Well, if everything's fine," Mat continued on to say as he poked his head over the wall, "what's with all the moanin' and groanin'?
"I mean, if I didn't know better, I'd thought you were over here playing with yourself...
"Hey! On second thought! Given that bulge you've got in your pants, maybe you were playing with yourself!
"I mean, while it makes no never mind to me what you do, a word to the wise, guy! You better watch yourself! You know, before one of our more militant female cohorts files a sexual harassment charge against you! You know, as thin-skinned and reactionary as some of these bra-burning man-haters that we have working around here have been here of late!
"I mean, just last week the boss chewed me out because that mealy-mouth bitch Beatrice down in accounting said I made an off-color joke down in the breakroom..."
"Hey, Mat!" Jeff groaned as he lamely struggled to his feet. "Look! I'd loved to shoot the shit with ya'! But, I've really hit the head! Okay?"
"Sure, pal!" Mat nonchalantly said as his head disappeared below the wall. "No problem! I'll catch you later..."
Though it took everything he had and them some, Jeff somehow managed to hobble through the warren of cubicles to the rear of the room where Mary's work-group was situated.
'Shit!' Jeff thought finding an empty cubical. 'Shit! Shit! Shit! Shit! SHIT!
'Damn! I wonder where the hell she is!'
Then, it dawned on him. 'She's in ladies room, I'll bet...'
Jeff did not have a lot options open to him. His pecker was as hard as a rock and if Mary did not cease and desist playing with herself soon, he knew that he was going to have a real mess on his hands, so to speak. The men's room was his only recourse under the circumstances. Trouble was: he doubted that he could get there in time. And, as fate would have it, he was proven right.
Not ten feet from the men's room door, his penis erupted, shooting sperm all over his lower abdomen and soaking the living shit out of underpants and noticeably darkening the crotch area of the black Levi's he was wearing.
"Thanks a heap, smartass!" Jeff drolly quipped as he and Mary began to make their way across their company's parking lot en route to his car. "I'll have you know that I didn't appreciate that little prank you pulled on me today in the least little bit!"
"You didn't?" Mary's retort was impishly couched.
"No!" Jeff was emphatic. "I didn't!
"And, I want you to promise me that you will never do what you did to me today ever again!"
Contritely, Mary replied, "All right, sweetcheeks! I promise: I will never play around with my you-know-what while the two of us are at work ever again..."
And, to Mary's credit, she staunchly adhered to her promise. However, what she did to Jeff the next day at work, while not nearly as dramatic, might have been a whole lot more diabolical.
Cunningly, Mary waited until she, along with the rest of her work-group, were securely sequestered within the conference room for a full day of training on a new time accounting process before she pulled the proverbial rug out from under Jeff. Using the magical wherewithal that her ring granted her access to, Mary caused that "inny" of hers to change into a man's "outy"; hoping that by her doing so Jeff's sexual perspective would follow suit and do a one eighty.
Though Mary wouldn't know if her ploy worked or not until the end of the workday, she was amused to hear just how well it had worked.
"So, tell me! How was your day?" Mary coyly asked as she linked up with Jeff in the lobby at the end of the day.
"Disquieting, to say the least..."
"Oh, it was, was it?
"I'm so sorry to hear that..."
"Yeah..." Jeff smirked. "I just bet you are!"
"So, I take it that my little Jeffrey-poo-bear didn't like being a girl with a guy's body?"
"No! No, I didn't!
"I felt very discombobulated all day!"
"Oh... I'm very sorry to hear you say that..."
"Yeah!" Jeff, who had spent a good portion of the day planning how he was going to get even, irately counted. "In a pig's eye you are!
"I mean to tell ya', Mary! It was rough! Really rough! You know, with my mind all out of sync with my body!
"You see, I don't think Magatrix took into account your pulling something like this!
"That's to say that she didn't provide me with any - What you might call! - compensation software! You know, like she did to help me deal with the incongruity of my being a guy with a girl's body!
"In other words, when you went and changed your vagina into a pecker, I was on own! You know, as in it was virgin territory! You know, forcing me to pretty much wing it!
"I mean to tell you! I really had to watch it! You know, as far as my mannerisms go! You know, so that people didn't start thinking I was some sort of limp-wristed gay-bird or something!
"Just crossing my legs caused me no end of problems! You know, because I kept wanting to do it like a girl does it! You know, and not like a guy does it!
"Plus, I really had to watch the way I walked! You know, as in I found that if I didn't concentrate on what I was doing, I end up swishing my hips! You know, like I do when I'm Jasmine!"
"Then, there's the vocabulary business!
"I mean, I don't know if you are aware of this or not, but my vocabulary changes along with the sexual orientation of my mind!"
"You know something?" Mary mused. "Now that you mention it, I guess it does at that! I mean, while I never took note of it before, you're right! You do have a tendency to use different words when your mind's that of a female!
"So, tell me! How'ya handle it today? You know, with you being a girl fitted out with a guy's body?"
"Basically, I stayed in my cubical! You know, as in I didn't venture out of it unless I absolutely had to!"
"So, what did you do about lunch? I mean, you did go out, didn't you?"
"Yeah... I went out all right!
"I drove over to McDonalds and, instead of going inside to eat, I just went through the drive through! Then, after I got my food, I came back here and ate lunch in cubicle!"
"You poor, poor thing..." Mary sarcastically scoffed.
"So, tell me! You know, because I'm really curious about this! How'd it feel going to the bathroom?"
"Oh, that! All I can say is: it felt really icky!
"I mean, irregardless of the fact that I've been peeing as a guy all my life, as crazy as this might sound, it felt really strange! You know, as in it didn't feel right! You know, standing up to take a leak..."
"So, how can I make it up to you, sweetums?" Mary said as she fastened her seatbelt
"Well, since you seem bent on being the man of the house today..." Jeff said as he triggered the magic that turned him into Jasmine. "You can start off by taking me out dinner! You know, to someplace nice! Then, maybe, when we get home, I might be able to see my way clear to letting you make love to me..."
Jeff got his comeuppance on Wednesday.
Shortly after nine, Jeff got up and, popping his head over the wall that their two cubicles shared, informed his buddy Mat that he was going to hit the head and that should anyone be looking for him, he would be back directly. Then, having done that, instead of using the men's room that was located just down the hall, Jeff took the elevator all the way down to the building sub-basement level two. There, he afforded himself of a restroom that he knew from past experience saw little use. Entering the last stall in the line-up, he locked the door; dropped his drawers and parked his butt on the ceramic throne.
Having drained the dragon, Jeff closed his eyes and accessed the magical wherewithal that turned him into his feminine alter ego. Wasting no time whatsoever, Jasmine began to fondle her right breast with her left hand while concurrently fingering her clit with her right one.
Four floors above, Mary realized that she had been royally had.
Her first thought was to get up and make a beeline for the ladies room.
Trouble was, though she made several attempts to get up from her chair, Mary was quick to realize that she would never make it. That meant that she no alternative. She would simply have to remain in her cubical where she would have to gird her loins and just grin and bear it.
And, that was going to be rough.
As much as she hated the fact, Mary freely admitted that, when it came to sex, she was both a screamer and a squealer.
'Damn him!' Mary fumed as she labored to stifle herself from verbalizing the excruciating amounts of carnal pleasure that careened and cavorted within her.
"Okay, smartass!" Mary said when Jeff came to collect her for lunch. "I give! You win! You've more than proved your point! Believe me! I've more than learned my lesson! And, I promise - A cross your heart and hope to die kind of promise! - that I won't do anything like that ever again! Fact is: I was wrong to have ever started the whole silly thing to begin with!
"So - I implore you! - can we please call it quits now? Or, are we going to keep this up until one of us ends up getting really embarrassed?"
"Well..." Jeff counted thoughtfully. "You are one up on me... You know, considering what you did to me on both Monday and Tuesday... But, I guess, given what I put you through this morning, I'm willing to call us all even-Steven and let it go at that if you are..."
"You know something, sweetums?" Mary purred as she and Jasmine cuddled together on the sofa that evening. "I really do love you."
Snuggling in a little closer, Jasmine replied, "Well... I must say: that's nice to know! You know, because it more or less goes without saying that I love you too!
"But, I do have a question! Who do you love more? Me" Or, Jeff?"
"Well... given that you're both one and the same person, I guess I'd have to say that I love both of your persona's equally.
"However, what I will say is: when it comes our making love, I kind of like it when my Jeffrey-poo-bear makes love to me! And, by the same token, as shameless as it is for me to say this, I thoroughly enjoy making you squeal and squirm like you do me...
"Now, don't go getting the wrong idea, sweetcheeks! I mean, while I really enjoy having a man's 'thingie' every now and again - You know, to stick up inside of you! - when push comes to shove, I'd much rather have your 'thingie' stuck up inside of me! You know, rather than the other way around!
"However... And, I know you hate like hell to talk about this when your mind's male! You know, like it is now! But, I've got to be honest with you and tell you! I absolute love it when you go down on me! You know, and give me a blow-job...
"You know something?" Mary chuckled as she triggered the magic that reconfigured her primary sexual equipment into that of a man's while at the same time saddling Jasmine with a thoroughly feminine outlook on life. "Speaking of blow-jobs, I do believe that I go for one of those right about now!"
Given the sexual about-face that Jasmine's mental mindset had just undergone, she was more than eager to comply with her soulmate's request.
To Mary's credit, once her needs were attended to, she changed that penis of hers back into a vagina as she concurrently entreated Jasmine to revert back to being Jeff. Where upon, she returned the favor by performing the selfless act of fellatio on the man she was hopelessly and thoroughly in love with.
Later that evening, as the two young women snuggled under the covers, savoring the soothing warm-fuzzies of a post multi-orgasmic bliss, Jasmine dreamily declared, "You know something, Mary? This - Whatever you want to call it kind of relationship of ours! - is really perverted?"
"Yes... It most certainly is...
"But, as perverted as it is: it's wonderful, isn't it?"
"Oh, yeah! It most certainly is!" Jasmine cooed. "And, I wouldn't trade what we have for anything in the world!"
"Nether would I, sweetcheeks! Neither would I..."
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- Epilogue * * *
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Though it took two and a half months longer than was legally mandated, a very relieved Jeff finally received his divorce decree in the mail. The following Friday, in a simple civil ceremony performed at the local courthouse, Jeff and Mary were wed. Four months later, with Mary looking every bit the blushing bride in an elegantly understated wedding dress and Jeff, looking dapper in a rented tuxedo, the two of them repeated their vows before an ordained minister and in the presence of their family and friends. Then, after an informal reception in the church hall that was thrown together by Mary's family, Mat, who had stood as Jeff's best man, drove the happy couple to a hotel situated just a short hop, skip and a jump from the airport. The next morning, having spent the night as traditional husband and wife, without Jasmine putting in an appearance whatsoever, Jeff and Mary took the hotel's shuttle service over to the airport where they boarded a plane for a week's stay in Cancun, Mexico.
Arriving at the resort hotel they had painstaking selected, they checked in and, upon receiving their keycards, headed straight way for their accommodations. Making a quick check to ensures that no one was watching, Mary playfully instructed Jeff to pull a one eighty and change into Jasmine. As he did so, Mary accessed her own magically wherewithal and, though it was far from apparent, became for all intent and purposes, a manly man. Then, having slipped her credit card sized keycard into the locking mechanism's card scanner to gain access to the room, Mary, mimicking Jeff's action of the night before, manfully hoisted Jasmine into her arms and strode briskly into their room. With an impassioned kiss to serve as a teasing distraction, she unceremoniously dumped her soulmate upon the bed. With instructions issued for that lover-girl of hers to change into something scandalously seductive, Mary turned and said back over her shoulder that she would see to their luggage; suggesting as she did so, that Jasmine had best prepare herself to be ravaged - up one side and down the other!
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- The End * * *
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