Make It Love
Disclaimer: This is a story about boys involved in romantic relationships and may include some sexual content. If this offends you, or you are not of legal age to read this material, you should leave now, if you choose to read further, you do so at your own discretion.
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Authors Notes: Thank you sincerely. ..from the bottom of our hearts for he dozens and dozens of emails! We are so grateful that you have enjoyed this story. It has been a long road to get this done, and your kind words have been so encouraging. Please continue to tell us what you think. Nathan loves all the email.. . it is truly very rewarding.. . thanks! Contact us at makeitlove@hotmail.com we anxiously await to know how you feel about this chapter too!
Chapter 2 The Last Dance
Watching him drive away I felt as if part of me went with him. It was weird really. I never felt that way with Brett, I mean. . he left all the time and I love him, but I always knew he was coming back. I wondered if this new feeling was normal .. or was what I had with Brett normal...damn. . .this is too confusing. Brett always kinda never wanted to get close like. You see he doesn't like kissing, I do I think its romantic and I'm a sucker for romantic stuff.
My reason for staying just drove away. I suddenly needed to go. . away .. home .. . I remembered to call Philip to come get me. I didn't want to stay anymore. There was nothing else I wanted to do here anymore. So I pulled my cell phone out and dialed him up.
"Hi Philip? Can you come get me now? Please?" I asked with a bit more eagerness in my voice then I'd intended.
"Hey Buddy! What? Now? How's the dance, your not supposed to be finished till midnight, its only. . . umm. . 10 p.m. Everything ok?" Philip's voice relating his concern that something . . .or someone had upset Nate.
"No, everything is cool. I'm just tired and ready to come home. Can you come get me please?" I said, but on the inside I was thinking I how much wanted to go cuz it was getting kinda to much and I was feeling sick in the guts from being nervous all the time. I just wanted to go to bed so the next day would come quicker.
"Well Nate, I'm still at work .. let's see . . . it'll be at least an hour before I can get there. Can you make it till then?"
"Sure, I'll go back inside .. just message me on the phone when you get here. Oh, and Philip . ..umm... thanks!". Damn! I wish mum could come get me. But that's not gonna happen. I know she isn't feeling to good.
"No worries, I'll cya in an hour!" click
I sighed deeply and stared at the phone in my hand. I wish Josh had given me his cell phone number. ^sigh^ Well, I made my way back inside, best if I find something to get my mind off things. They stamped our hands with ink so we could come back without going through all the checking out and stuff, so I was able to get back with no problem. I found the girls that were protecting Josh and they all wanted to know how things went out side. They were so friendly and nice to me to. I really liked them, I even got their phone numbers too, I bet my brother will poke fun at me pickin up girls. ^sigh^
"Are you ok Nathan? You look tense," Krista said.
"I'm just thinking about Josh, I really like him . . . he was so cool, I think maybe I screwed it up a bit though". I said, my voice trailing off as I remembered pushing things too much while we were dancing.
"How come," asked her friend.
I was blushing and said "I think I messed it up some cuz I got a bit . . . umm . . . "
"Horny, hehe . .." giggled Krista, I blushed big time
"Um well yea a bit," I said while turning a very lovely shade of bright red!
"It will all work out Nate, you just met him give it time," Krista said.
I told them everything was cool and that we were gonna call each other. Secretly inside I was praying so hard that he would really call me. I knew he would. . but what if he didn't? I'd call him is what. But what if he got home and decided I was too touchy feely tonight and wouldn't take my call.. . arrrhhh. . . this is gonna kill me until I find him again. I don't really have any close friends you would call "best friend," maybe Brett is, but I can't talk to him about a lot of stuff, always makes me feel nervous cuz I know he's told Philip about some serious stuff that was way personal. Kinda makes me feel like I can't trust him. I always start thinking too much and that's something I gotta work on. arghhh
I walked over to a table. . I didn't wanna dance anymore, I just wanted to dream of his kiss on my cheek. so I dreamt . . of taking him in my arms and kissing him then when he kissed me one the cheek. . . I mean really kiss him. You know? I wanted to hold him and kiss him, to touch him . .. .but I couldn't. I couldn't do that to Brett, it just wouldn't be right. But I could dream couldn't I? Dream about this soft lips, his small but firm body pressed against mine, about the way his body responded to mine and flowed so gently with me on the dance floor .. . I could dream about his ocean blue eyes, his silky blonde hair . . .dream about how he looked beneath his shirt where my hands had roamed just moments ago. . . about .. . .
While I was sitting there daydreaming about Josh, this really cute boy about 15 or so walks up and sits down beside me. He sorta looked me up and down then he introduced himself as Tony, and started asking me about where I went to school and stuff. He was tall and really thin but way hot. He was wearing this cool gold chain and had fantastic skin, and parted his dark brown hair down the middle, and the deepest brown eyes. We chatted a few minutes before he asked me if I wanted to dance.
"Okay sure, just no funny stuff ok, I've had my bum pinched and been touched up so much tonight." I laughed and he did to.
"I know how you feel, I've been hit on by a lot of guys as well, but they weren't really my type," said Tony, He smiled a kinda evil grin, but I just took it as if he was happy, happy to dance with me? Yea right, what's so special about me, my mum says I'm so good looking, but that's what mums always say. Even Philip has said it, but I just poke my tongue at him and say he's not my type ^hehehe^. I didn't really want to, but I knew Philip was gonna be an hour or so getting here so I said ok and we headed out to the dance floor.
The building was so incredibly hot. Probably because there was so many people, or they had the AC off. . I don't know. But you could smell all the guys sweating and the girls perfume, I wondered if this is what its like to work in a perfume factory, jeez I think to much.. . it was making everyone in the place all hot and horny.
When we got out on the floor and started dancing, he had his arms around me. I was amazed at how good it felt. He was only just slightly taller then me and had on a white shirt with kinda like army pants that came to his knees. He definitely wasn't hard to look at.
The DJ put on a really cool slow dance song . . . a sad song. It was by Roxette, "It Must have Been Love." The words nearly made me cry. I was dancing with Tony. . but I was thinking about Josh.
". . .it must have been love but it's over now, from the moment we touched .. . "
The song finished and they played Aerosmith's song from Armageddon, way cool song to, its Brett's favorite movie and he likes the group. At first I was a bit nervous, but soon I relaxed and put my head on his shoulder and could smell his cologne and I found my hands wandering up to his pecs. His warmth was alluring and I was slowly rubbing his chest. He was sweating a lot. The next thing I new he was copping a feel of my ass! I pushed his hands away but didn't say anything, we kept dancing anyway. I moved my hands quickly, deciding it wasn't fair for me to be touching him like that and then to be mad at him for touching me, so I lowered my hands to around his waist. But Tony didn't want to stop once he started. The more we danced, the more Tony kept putting his hands all over me and I was getting way uncomfortable. Him touching me like that was making me blush. I never had a guy. .a strange boy.. touching me like this. I could see he was getting horny cuz of the bulge in his pants, and he was breathing really heavy on my neck. He kept pulling me closer to him.
"Hey, come on. Quit feelin me up so much, I just wanna dance okay!" I said.
"Okay," He said sorta dreamy like and put his head on my shoulder and he pulled me a little closer.
Then after a bit, he kissed me on the neck. It was a wet kiss, I could feel his tongue on my neck, he was tasting me! Kinda felt like he was a vampire tryin to suck my blood out.
That was it. I just walked away leaving him standing alone on the floor. I glanced back over my shoulder at him and could tell he was upset with me about it, but I just couldn't keep it up. It was obvious that he wanted to do more then just dance, and making out with a boy except Brett wasn't gonna happen (even though Brett and me rarely make out). . I just wanted to make friends. . . . damn! I wished Brett was there. .he would have pound the crap outta this jerk.
I made my way over to where the girls were and started talking to them again. They wanted to know everything about what just happened. Since Josh left, I was their new charge I guess .. cuz now they were watching out for me. They could see him coming up behind me ad they all sorta circled around and weren't about to go anywhere.
About this time Tony came over to me. "Hey, what gives, your all over me and you start getting mad at me for touching your ass, matter with you?" He asked with more then an angry tone ... I could sense the hurt as well.
"I'm sorry dude," I said, "Its just that I told you that I didn't feel comfortable with you touching me like that. I said it at least three times. . .you just won't stop!"
"Ok," Tony said in a bit more conciliatory tone, "I won't do it any more."
"Tony, YOU JUST KISSED ME ON THE NECK! I don't want that. . . I just want a friend!" What I knew is that it made me feel cheap .. used. I didn't like it.
"Damn," He said, "we are at a GAY and LESBIAN dance .. .what did you expect!?"
"Look," I said, "kissing me is just way to personal for me, ok. I just don't want to do that stuff. If you want to keep coping freebies and shit, you'll just have to go find someone else. All I want to do is dance . .that is all."
"Fine!" He said as he stormed off. He looked back over his shoulder and said, "You stuck-up bastard!" And shot me the finger.
I turned my back to him and pretended I didn't care about what he said. But I did. How could things turn so bad so quickly? I was blushing pretty bad now, and getting mad. God, how I wished Philip would come and get me outta here. By now I was really feeling shitty. As I sat over on the far side of the building, all the older guys kept coming over and wanting to dance and stuff. They were the same ones that I'd seen trolling all evening .. now I was the bait. Some of the new arrivals were worse then the others. This was getting outta hand pretty quickly.
I was now the youngest one left at the dance, all the rest were like 16 and 17 years old and stuff. I heard some of them saying they had to go cuz there parents said to be home early. I decided that I was gonna have to do something cuz it was obvious at this late hour that the weirdo's had declared it trolling-for-ass time. Even the adult sponsors were out on the floor now saying stuff like, "Ease of on the contact when your told .. read the rules!"
This group of loud guys came in making all kinds of noise, until they saw me, then they came over to me and wanted to talk. They certainly were not guys I wanted to hang with so I had to keep moving around. I could feel dozens of sets of eyes all looking at me. . . it gave me the creeps and I had butterflies in my stomach. Looking around the floor at the splintered groups of kids, I spied a group of really big guys .. . not exactly my type you know .. but they seemed nice.
I made my way over towards them. When I got over closer this one really big guy says, "Hey cutie!" I blushed big time.
"Mind if I sit here a little while?" I asked.
"Sure," the big guy said, "you can sit here on my lap!" He said as he patted his knee. My heart skipped a beat and I felt my face go flush again. Jeez what next I said to myself. It must have been pretty apparent, because he immediately said, "Hey, relax, we're just teasing. Come and sit here we got a spare seat."
I remembered to breath and moved slowly towards him and sat down.
"You, my friend, are so cute you're just an easy mark. . that's why all those dudes are hitting on you. Stay here with us, you'll be safe here . .. promise," the big guy said trying to put me at ease.
I smiled at his easy nature and began to relax. Finally I found a relatively safe place to wait for Philip. The big guys seemed contented to serve as my own personal buffer squad and pretty much kept the hounds at bay. So I sat and watched the comings and goings, while I sipped my coke and waited for Philip. I listened to the guys talking about how they weren't sure they liked girls and stuff. I was happy to just sit and listen. The DJ was playing all sorts of crappy music by now as he evidently was running out of good stuff. Peeps kept coming up to him requesting songs and stuff. . they were better then what he was serving up.
At one point this kid about 17 goes up and gives the DJ a request .. said it was for the cute kid over in the corner in shorts. When I looked around, the boy was looking straight at me .. .that was for me!... . .I blushed the appropriate shades of red and slunk down in my seat a little further. God .. .how much worse can it get!
My thoughts were deep into what I was gonna say to Josh when I called him tomorrow when my phone beeps at me .. I nearly jumped outta my skin! It was Philip messaging me that he was outside. YEAH!!!
"There's my ride," I said to the group, "My brother is waiting outside . I got to go. Thanks for talking with me and helping me and all."
"No worries mate," he big guy says, "Aren't you gonna leave us you number then? We can finish this conversation in a more private setting!"
"Not!" I said, and laughed. It was fun and I knew he was teasing. They had already given me their numbers, I wasn't sure if I was gonna call them, but that's how it goes . . . hey. I headed toward the door, but turned back to wave at my new friends .. they were all watching and waving as left out the door. It made me feel good that they were so nice and they liked me.
I was smiling once I got to the car and hopped in. Just a few more hours until I can call Josh! Hmmmm .. . Brett is supposed to come over tomorrow .. this should be interesting.
"Hey Bud!" Philip said with genuine warmth, "Have a good time then?" "Yep!" I said, looking straight at him with this big-assed grin. I reached across the car and hugged him really quick. "Thanks, this was the best!"
"Here, stop that!" He teased, you'll have the whole place thinking in a minute!" His smile told that he was just poking fun. He slipped the car into gear and set off for home. I settled in for the 30-minute ride home. I was staring out he window letting my mind cascade over the events of he night. I just couldn't get Josh out of my mind.
"So," Philip asked, "Who is it your thinking about there little man?"
I looked over quickly at him and blushed several shades of red.
"Ooooo, who is she then?"
"Man Philip!" I squirmed, "I just met some cool peeps `s all. But I did meet this one cool friend."
Philip looks at me and says, "Friend', aye!"
"Yeah, friend," I said with as innocent sounding voice as I could muster under the circumstances, "a friend."
"You know you can talk about anything to me, right?"
"Yep, thanks Philip," I turned back towards the window, my thoughts racing a zillion miles an hour. He is so cool, Philip is, but I am so not ready to tell my brother about all this. I mean, do I love him. .Joshua? I love Brett, I know this, but I feel so ashamed that I have these feelings for Josh. How can I have these sorta feelings for two boys .. .I know that I have Brett. He has been with me for two years now. I know and understand my love for him. But this new thing . .it is so real, so . .. umm.. powerful.
Philip knows about Brett, knows we are . . umm .. .more then just best friends, but he really doesn't approve of Brett. He thinks Brett is too old for me. Philip knows Brett from before I was his boyfriend, and there is something about him that Philip doesn't like, but he won't talk much about it.
"Well..." Philip asks.
"Well, what?"
"Are you gonna tell me about him then?"
I started telling him about Josh then, I couldn't hold it back, it all came spilling out. I told him about his blonde hair, the gorgeous blue eyes (didn't say gorgeous), the happy smile, everything. I didn't say I love him .. cuz I wasn't so sure about that myself.
"I want him to be my friend Philip," I ended.
"Sure Bud, you sure need more friends, Mum worries about you a lot," he said putting his big arm around me pulling me into a brief, but well needed and warm hug. I know my mum is sick, and it kinda makes me feel guilty when Mum worries about me, she needs her strength.
Philip left me alone to my thoughts after that. I just snuggled into the side of the car, looking out the window and let the memory of him linger and cause me to smile as I watched the world passing bye.
When we finally got home, I went around the car and hugged Philip really tight. "Thanks Philip, this was the most fun I've had in a long time. You're the best!" And I stretched up on my tiptoes and kissed his stubbly cheek.
"Yech!" He exclaimed and wiped exaggeratingly at his face. He was smiling so big though I knew he was teasing. I pretended to act hurt and he just swatted me on the bum and said to get on in the house. I got on the porch and turned to wave and watch him pull out and head for his apartment. I hated to see him go .. it always made my tummy churn ... I wished he could still be home with us.
Philip tried to explain why he wanted to move out ... cuz the house we have is small, and said that since we both were getting to big to be having bunk beds in the 1 room, and I needed my privacy so did he. Still, I do love him heaps.
I went inside, kicked off my Nike's and made my way towards my room. I checked in on Mum, her light was on her night stand so I knew she was awake, waiting for me to come home. She always waited for me. I came in and she put her book down on her chest and smiled as I came over to her. I hugged her real close and I didn't want to let go, yup I still like huggin and kissing my mum, even my brother who makes fun about it, still its cool. Philip always said it takes a real man to show his feelings.
"Have a good time dear?" she asked, petting my hair like she always did.
"Oh yes Mum, absolute best!" I kissed her cheek and pulled back to look at her. Her health was failing so fast these days. It put a tear to my eyes, but I blinked them away really fast. Can't have Mum seeing me cry about this. I have to be strong .. I am the man of the house now.
I talked all about what happened and she liked listened and nodded sometimes, said it was getting late I should go to bed now.
"Night Mum," I said, "Call me if you need anything."
"Kay," she said and smiled warmly and hugged me again, kissed me and shooed me off to bed.
Once safely in my room I let my guard down and just flopped down on the bed. My mind was racing, so many thought, emotions. . it was all a bit overwhelming actually. I felt like crying...I was just nearly on the verge when my phone rang! Damn! I jumped like I was shot, my heart skipped a beat. A devilish grin spread across my face as I reached to pick it up.
"Hello, Sc... ."
"Hey Bud!" It was Brett. .thank God he always interrupted me!
"Hey Brett! I missed ya tonight. Sure wish you could a have been there."
"Yeah," He said, "I wanted to be you know that, but they changed my hours and there wasn't anything I could do. You got my message .. . right?"
"Sure, Mum told me you had to work. Still sucks though, we've been planning going to this for two weeks." The whining in my voice was very apparent. "Don't know why you don't quit anyway .. it's not like you need the money."
"Look Nate, (damn. . I hate when he calls me that) we've been through this. It's the principle of the thing," He said.
"Don't know why I am the one who always has to have the `principle' lesson though.. . it's the shits ya know," I said, not wanting to let go of the whining just yet.
"Dude, are we gonna go through this again tonight?" He asked with a voice that was a bit perturbed.
"No," I sighed, "Why'd you call anyway?"
"Just wanted to hear your sexy voice, don't you know?"
"Well, you could have heard it all night. . I missed you ya know." I hated me for being so whinny, but I was loosing him, I could feel it.. I was so in love with him and it scared me to death the thought that one day he wouldn't be mine.
"Dude, I'm coming over in the morning and we can have lunch together and stuff.. . ok?" This was his idea of a peace offering every time. . . .he comes over, we eat, he is happy, I get to let him hold me some. . everything is fine.
"Yeah, okay, I'll see you tomorrow then. I love you Brett."
"You too!"
click
I held the phone to my forehead and swore beneath my breath .. that was not what I wanted to say to him. . why does that happen? I wanted to say I love you Brett and I want you to come over right now and hold me. I wanted to tell him I could feel him slipping away and it scared the hell out of me. I wanted to tell him that I wanted him to hold me forever. . . I said none of that. ^sigh^
I rolled over and started taking off my clothes. I smelled pretty bad and needed a shower. . but I was way too tired to do anything about that tonight. I took my shirt off and pulled it to my nose. I could smell him. ..Josh. . his sweat, his cologne. .. mixed with mine . it was sooooo incredibly hot. . holding that shirt and smelling him all over again.
When we danced, he was so incredible. Josh was smaller then me. . . but I wasn't really all that big, but we seemed to fit. It is hard to explain that . . .but I could feel it. It was almost like we belonged together. As my mind went over each dance I remembered every way our bodies touched. The whole night I was basically boned up .. . couldn't help it. . it was just so incredible to be so near him.
I lay there for at least a couple of hours reliving every detail .. I never remember laying awake thinking of Brett for so long. But there was something about dancing with Josh . . . I felt myself drifting back to the dance floor. I was holding him . . . swaying to the music. . . .feeling his heart beating. .. .
With thoughts of Joshua dancing in my mind I drifted into dreamland . . .God. . is this love . .am I in love . .. .
Well. . that's it for chapter too. . let us know what you think! makeitlove@hotmail.com