Hey! This is my attempt at writing some kind of love story. Just a warning though, this is a story about sex/love between boys. If you can't or don't want to read this for any reason, then don't. I won't be offended. Just to let you know, this story may seem a little slow as I'm not sure how quickly the sex aspect will develop. Also, this is fiction. I'd love feedback, so if you have any, just send it to tothinktrue@gmail. Other than that just remember that this is my story; if you want to use it, ask me first. Enjoy!
-------_-Chapter One: At First Glance
I was pretty much alone most of the time. I had friends, but I had lost any real connection I had to them. I don't know if I was letting them slip away or if we just hadn't been that close to begin with. I know I wasn't doing well. Everyone had started giving me weird looks or else just avoided me entirely. I tried telling myself that this was what I wanted-that I was pushing them away on purpose-but the truth was; I was really lonely. I think I was just scared of trying. Or maybe it was rejection I feared. Either way I was alone.
I spent most of my time sitting in front of the computer screen, trying to fill the void by playing hours of games and watching pointless videos. I looked at a lot of porn. Whenever I masturbated it made me feel okay for a little while. Took my mind off things. It was almost like the physical opposite of cutting. I thought about that too. It never occured to me that the simplest way to feel happy again would be to go out and make some real friends. People I was really comfortable with. People I thought would actually understand me. I was driving myself crazy.
It was during one of my up times that a friend of mine called. I was looking random shit up online-surprise, surprise. I was knee deep in a website dedicated to the conspiracy theory that Belgium wasn't a real country, laughing my ass off. (this is an actual site, by the way. It's hysterical.) The cellphone on the desk next to me started to ring. It sounded foreign because I hadn't expected to hear ever again. It was a girl in my class, Claire. I answered only because I had blown her off a few times and I felt bad.
"Ryan, it's me," she said. "Tommy, Jackie and I are going to the movies and you're coming." I started to argue, but she wouldn't hear it.
"Screw you, dude. You've been so depressing lately and we haven't seen you in weeks. If you don't come out with us tonight I'm never talking to you again, okay? Get ready. We'll be there soon." She didn't leave me much choice, huh? So I got up, took a shower, and got dressed. I stood in front of the mirror for a long time, examining myself. I wasn't that tall, and I was pretty skinny, I guess. I had dark hair and really intense eyes that I often found myself getting sucked into. Maybe that sounds weird to save about myself, but it's true.
I was still staring at them when I heard Claire's horn urging me to hurry. I was alone in the house, so I locked up and walked over to her car.
"Good to see you, man!" Claire said with a huge smile. God, I loved her. She had this beautiful glow about her that always seemed to smile, even if she wasn't. Tommy greeted from the front seat as I got into the back.
"Long time no see, Ryan. I thought you might be dead or something." I kind of laughed and clicked the belt buckle. He started to chat as we pulled away from my house.
"Jackie's pretty pissed at me, so I don't know if she's gonna go now," he said with a sheepish grin. I didn't ask what he'd done. He treated his girl alright most of the time, but sometimes he could be a real dick. Then again, sometimes Jackie was a bitch.
"I hope she makes it," I said quietly, "I've missed you guys."
"Yeah, well you've been avoiding us all summer," said Claire, sounding slightly annoyed. I glanced at her in the rear view mirror and saw in her eyes that despite her tone, she was smiling.
"I'm sorry," I mumbled, "I've just been feeling....weird, you know?"
"It's cool, but no more of your depressing shit or I'm gonna be seriously pissed. And to try and cheer you up, I'm getting your ticket." I started to argue, but she just talked over me. "There's this really cool movie about politics and stuff that I wanna see, okay?" Tommy groaned from the front seat.
"I thought we decided against that already! Why do we have to see some shitty movie like that?" Silently, I agreed, but Claire gave him a severe look and said, "If it's so stupid then you can get out and walk. I'm driving, I get to choose."
"That's a stupid rule. Who decided that?" Tommy argued.
"Shut up!" she said back ,and the two of them fell into bickering, leaving me alone in my thoughts.
We pulled up to the theater and all climbed out. At the ticket booth I tried to pay for myself, but Claire slid a bill in before I could.
"I said it was my treat, you sneaky bastard. Now come on, let's enjoy hanging out for once." She flashed me a dazzling smile and I couldn't help but feel a little better. I don't know why I had avoided her; Claire really is a great friend.
Tommy wanted to get some soda and stuff so we stood in line for what seemed like an eternity. As we waited, he caught me up on his latest relationship news.
"God, she drives me crazy! All she does is bitch about how we never do anything together, and then when I go out, does she come with me? No! And she wouldn't let me take her car. She says she's gonna go shopping, but I bet she's at home right now writing about how stupid I am in her diary." Tommy went on for a bit until Claire stopped him.
"Tommy, you are stupid. It's your turn. Are you gonna buy something or what?"
We got our stuff and headed into the movie. The theater was already dark, so we had to kind of search for a while until we found three empty seats. I sat at the end of the row, with Tommy on my right and Claire in between us. The two of them chatted and joked until the previews began. They kept on shooting comments to me, but I was still pretty much in my head. Eventually Claire elbowed me.
"Look, dude. I didn't bring you out here cause I like the strong silent type. Will you please talk to us?" I started to answer her, but some girl behind us shushed as the movie began. I was safe for a while. Throughout the movie Claire kept finding excuses to talk to me or get up and pass me. I thought it was a little exessive, I mean how many times does that girl need to pee? But I also thought maybe she missed me, so I felt bad. Eventually it was over and we all got up to leave. The movie was actually pretty good, even though Tommy complained about every section of it. He hadn't talked at all once it started and he seemed to remember every scene, so I think he was just complaining to complain.
We went out to the parking lot and found Claire's car. On the way, we passed Jackie's convertible. There were some shops on the strip with the theater, so we figured she had gone out after all.
"Let's go find her," Tommy said. I'm not sure why. If I were fighting with someone I'd want to stay away. But then again, I'd stay away even if I wasn't, so maybe I'm not a good judge. Anyway, Tommy was sure he knew which store she'd be in, so off he went. With an amused grin, Claire took my hand and led me after him. It felt good to hold hands, and every few minutes she gave me a light squeeze. I didn't return it though. I'm not sure why.
We were wandering down the women's aisles in some clothing store when we spotted Jackie. Tommy was already walking up to her. Her long black hair was pulled back into a ponty tail and she wore a tight black dress. She was very good looking. When Tommy put his arms around her from behind, she jumped a little. She looked kind of annoyed to see him, but she had parked so close to us I knew she had done it on purpose. After telling him off for a minute she reached up and kissed him. I felt a twinge of envy at the sign of affection. It made me feel a little more alone. I buried the feeling and followed Claire over to them.
"Ryan! Hi! It's so good to see you! I've missed you since school let out." She gave me a tight hug and the smell of her perfume made me want to hold on forever, but I was very aware of Tommy standing right there. Aah jealousy. I quickly released her and smiled.
"Yeah. Sorry I kind of dropped off the planet there. I haven't been myself lately."
"Well, I wouldn't want you to be anyone else, so cheer up." She smiled warmly at me. In a way she was more beautiful than Claire, but not as...I don't know...touching? I thought about that for a few minutes while the other three discussed the next step. We decided-well, they did, really-that we would go somewhere to eat.
We chose this nice little place that had booths that could offer a lot of privacy and a decent selection of food. I sat next to Claire, and across from Jackie, who shoved Tommy into the corner. My seat had a view of the door and I found myself staring off into space, watching people come and go. I barely paid attention to the conversation, instead imagining what I could do to find someone who would really get me. The waitress startled me out of my reverie and I glanced at the table to find everyone staring at me.
"You ready, bud?" asked Tommy, grinning at Claire, who in turn was slightly frowning at me.
"Uh, yeah," I said quickly glancing at the menu. Claire's expression freaked me out a little. I didn't like the thought of her being mad at me, especially when she was trying so hard to get me to join in. I gave my order to the waitress and grinned sheepishly.
"Sorry, guys. I guess I'm in lala land."
"Well, you always have been. You're forgiven this time." Claire smiled again. God, I loved her smile.
I tried to pay attention after that, but my mind kept wandering. Eventually the waitress came and I greatfully accepted my plate, glad to have an excuse to not talk. I shoved a forkful of....whatever I had ordered into my mouth and looked to the entrance again. The door opened to admit to guys about my age. I recognized them from my school. I think they were seniors.
I watched them as they took a seat at the bar that ran along the front of the place. The one on the left was chatting animatedly to his friend. He sat almost sideways and used flourishing hand gestures to convey his speech. The other was much quieter. He had longish blonde hair and he wore a striped grey shirt. He couldn't have been too tall; he was shorter than other kid. It struck me as odd that I noticed that. When the blonde started talking I found myself straining to hear what he said. I couldn't quite make it out, but I could hear the pitch of his voice. Kind of high, but not really girly.
I jumped at the feeling of someone's hand on my knee. I looked over at Claire and she gave me a small grin. Her hand started rubbing up and down, each time coming a little closer to my crotch. Just as she was about to make contact I jumped up and stuttered something about the bathroom. I walked away as quickly as I could, feeling a strong blush coming on.
The path to the bathroom took me by the two boys at the bar. As I passed I looked over at the blonde, who turned to me. He saw me blushing and grinned. I hurried past and headed to the bathroom.
Safely hidden in a stall, I released the hard on which was making my pants extremely uncomfortable. I stared down at it and willed it to go down.
"Please, God," I muttered to myself, "Why did she do this to me?"
"Amen, brother," a voice from the stall next to me announced, making me jump yet again. I was very appreciative to the walls which hid my very red face, but I thought whoever it was could probably feel the heat coming off me. I said nothing and closed my eyes, thinking of nothing until both my dick and my blush went down. I splashed some cool water on my face at the sink and hurried out before the owner of the voice could see who had spoken.
On my way back to the table I stole another glance at the blonde, but this time he kept his back to me. Why did that make me feel so bad?
Finished with the meal, we got ready to leave. Claire tried to pay for my portion of the check, but I insisted on splitting it evenly. If the girl was going to make moves on me, I definately wasn't letting her pay for me.
Tommy left with Jackie, leaving me alone in the car with Claire. For some reason I felt nervous and uncomfortable. The ride to my house was quiet. Tense. When we pulled up to the front, Claire started to say something, but I quickly said "Bye," and walked away. I lingered at my front door for a second. When I glanced back, Claire was giving me this weird look, so I waved and went inside.
My parents were still out, so I went up to my room and sat at the computer. I could barely think straight. It wasn't long before I flopped down on my bed and stretched out. I pulled off my shirt and looked down at my chest. My heart was hammering, blood rushing through my head. I unzipped my pants and did what every boy does when a girl fondles him; I shot my load and passed out...
Alright! so that's the first installment. As you read, there wasn't much sex in this one, but it's going to build quickly from here. Once again any comments, suggestions, requests, or hate mail should go to tothinktruly@gmail. thanks guys, I hope you enjoyed. I'm gonna pass out now :) Good night.