Marine Stories: Tucker and Holsom

Marine Stories: Tucker and Holsom

By

Buck Jones

Into the office walked Tucker, the well-educated, temperamental engineer, on the first day of his eight week deadline, a gig taken only because an old military friend was in a bind. Heads turned. The mature, distinguished Inspector inevitably drew everyone's attention. Standing in front of the open area, Tucker looked about him for the office marked INSPECTIONS. At that moment, Eric Holsom stepped out of his office into the open area. Tucker nodded to acknowledge the E-7's presence. E-7 Holsom was a big man, balding with a shaved head, in great shape with a manly face, not that of the star, but of the sidekick, the pal, the first baseman, the port in the storm, the Rock of Gibraltar. He was military through and through, or so it seemed. The façade was convincing, but not in Tucker's presence. Holsom perceived Tucker with an instant toxicity; Tucker felt an almost palpable dislike shoot through him as if he had been lanced. However, when Holsom spoke, he was deferential, respectful, and compliant. Tucker blew off the rush of negativity as a territorial intrusion, and proceeded with the project at hand.

At the end of the first week, Holsom composed the final report.

On Monday morning, Tucker sat in front of his computer and opened the Weekly Report that Holsom had written. Tucker was used to reading some really, really rough stuff in the field ... descriptions that were all over the place, execrable grammar and spelling... With his just filled coffee cup in his left hand, he moved the mouse. The file opened. Switching the coffee to his right hand, he leaned back in the chair and started reading.

Tucker was dumbfounded. Holsom wrote like a Hemingway. The writing was neat, well ordered, clear, unambiguous, grammatically correct; in two words, elegant and refined. From this tall baseball player built E-7 with supreme spit and polish comes prose that borders on the poetic. Tucker was not ready for that revelation. When his thoughts came back to the project and the site visit that was going to occur in about an hour, he noticed that the cup of coffee was empty.

In the second week, Holsom's behavior began to make Tucker start to think that the burst of fear he first experienced had been dismissed a bit too lightly. There was nothing Tucker could put his finger on, but he knew that something was going on behind the scenes. Holsom had taken his military distance to the extreme. Whereas his prose may have been poetic, his behavior had become obsequious. It was as if Holsom not only wanted to keep Tucker at bay, but he also wanted Tucker as far away from him as he could get.

Finally, in the third week, with the tension building between them, Tucker decided to have a talk with Holsom to iron out a relationship that had to last only a little over a month.

Both of the men are in the office while the rest of the employees have gone to lunch.

Tucker begins: "I've asked you for this time because there are some things I'd like to say. First of all, we're both adults and we are going to be working together for ... What... another five weeks. We can endure anything for five weeks. The point is why do we have to? I want to add, although I haven't said anything about it before, I have a really high opinion of your writing skills. You describe some of the least human things about a particular installation and it reads like a Hemingway short story. Your mind is like a steel trap. Once you see something, it's yours forever. And you are learning all the time. People are your teachers. I am your teacher, perhaps... but I am a teacher you are on the run from... and if it will make a difference over the next five weeks, I'd like to know... at least... what it is that's going on that's making you want me out of your life. And, don't even bother trying to deny the way you act around me, the way you perceive me... is so obvious... I mean it's like you have a calendar inside your desk with my departure date on it... and you're marking off each day. When someone's got that kind of an attitude when I've done nothing to deserve it, I want to know what's going on.

To which, Holsom replies: I think you think you know something is going on... and nothing is going on. May I give you an example? When you were 19, a redhead with heart shaped lips, broke your heart. At 27, you meet a beautiful redhead with heart shaped lips... who you have to work beside day by day for eight weeks. You remember every detail of the break up that happened years ago. You remember her voice. And this girl makes you remember the worst part of your life. Isn't it only natural to want to avoid her if she brings up unpleasant memories?

Tucker: So I bring up unpleasant memories. I remind you of someone in your past that got to you and got to you bad. O. K. I get it. All I ask is that I am not that other person whoever he was. I don't know what he did to you and why you hold such feelings inside you. But just don't see him when you see me. Now that I know it's not me, but I am someone who reminds you of someone else... at least we understand each other. So I will regard your distance not as a negative thing, but as a sort of knee jerk response to a similar stimulus. Pavlov wins in the end... conditioning. And, by the way, don't we have a site inspection this afternoon?

Holsom: Yes, sir, we do.

Although there was now a crack in the ice of the coldness between them, the crack was in only a small part of a glacier... in other words, meaningless. Tucker continued to be amazed, that even after their talk, the beautiful reports continued to be written and the borders between Holsom and him were still as wide as they had been except for some early morning pleasantries and end-of-day well wishes.

In the 7th week, Holsom and Tucker found themselves out of town in the middle of small town nowhere on a homecoming weekend. They were lucky to find one room with two double beds at the last moment, and they got the room because there had been a last minute cancellation. Tucker had a plan. The two men went to dinner, and Tucker brought back to the room with him a bottle of Jack Daniels. With the ice machine down the hall and two glasses in the bathroom, there were the makings of a party. At first, Holsom declined and then acceded to "just one."

An upper tier music channel supplied a non-threatening atmosphere.

With half the bottle consumed between them, Tucker turns the conversation to the man he represents to Holsom.

Tucker: Fuck, man. You're a huge ole lug of a guy... with a literary gift some bestselling authors wish they had. What did this guy do to you? Did he fuck you? Did he beat you? Did he betray you? Did he bleed you dry? Did he inject you with drugs and turn you out on the streets?

Holsom: You think I'm drunk enough at this point to talk all that shit.

Tucker: All I know is that's there's been an undercurrent between us. You think I'm trying to come on to you.

Holsom: Well, aren't you? Is that honest enough for you?

Tucker: When I'm in the field, I'm totally professional.

Holsom: Is this professional? Getting me sloshed enough to let you get into my life?

Tucker: All that I know is that the moment you walked out into the room where I was standing, I felt an immediate dislike. Actually, and let's do be a little alcoholically honest, I felt palpable hate. A complete rejection of who I am and what I stand for.

Holsom: Let me tell you something, now. You just hit the nail on the fucking head. `Cause the instant I laid eyes on you, I knew what you were.

Tucker: Old friend, now that we're drunk enough, you tell me what I am.

Holsom: You're a fag... it's as simple as that... an officer fag who fucks the boys.

Tucker: I'm happy we're over that hurdle. Ah, the vile truisms of life. That deserves another quick shot. What do you say to another quick shot?

Holsom: Fuck, why not?

Tucker: And you want to know why I fuck the boys... and I do fuck the boys... I fuck them because they want me to fuck them. I don't have to come on to anyone. Their asses gravitate toward my dick like moths to the flame. And you want to know why??? Because they want to feel a man inside them. They may fuck as many girls as they can; they may fuck as many of their buddies as they can, but in that ultimate dream, that fantasy of fantasies, they see themselves on their backs with their legs in the air with daddy pounding their asses like there's no tomorrow. I've had them so forward that after the preliminaries are over, the first words out of their mouths are, "You will fuck me, won't you?"

Tucker and Holsom share the quick shot.

Tucker: So, since we're being honest, what did this guy do to you? Did he beat you? Did he hurt you?

Holsom: He didn't beat me. He did seduce me and he did fuck me.

Tucker: No kidding, man. The guy fucked you... like in the ass or just figuratively?

Holsom: In the ass.

Tucker: And I remind you of him.

Holsom: That's the problem. He fucked me, but he didn't hurt me. Yeah, he hurt me `cause he made it more difficult to live up to my physical image... the manly man. The seducer. The man women want. The man many women want. And, to tell the truth, all I wanted was him. I wanted to be fucked the way he fucked me. And I haven't thought about that since I was 18. I knew I had to put it behind me, put it out of my mind, but how do you live decades and never experience the magic I felt when he fucked me? And, lately, even before you came to the office, I had been remembering. I was up late one night in the basement with the computer and I found this website for older men and younger guys... And, as I started watching some of the videos... I knew that was the scene I had secretly wished for... Of course, now I am the dad... the young ones are the boys. All of this... I started having all these jack off fantasies as I watched the porn... and pretty soon I was fucking myself as I watched the vids... In the morning, I vowed not to visit those sites again... But I would... a day would pass and I would have a bout of not being able to sleep... and I was down in the basement jacking in front of the computer, looking at those boys wanting to be fucked.

Tucker: Is that what you want? You want me to fuck you?

Holsom: I do and I don't. I mean I'm not the kid I was when he showed me what to do.

Tucker: That's the problem. Inside, you still are the kid you were. Sex is the one force in the universe that defies time. No matter how old the body gets, the sexual impulse is eternally youthful. It is the youth in you that wants to experience what you've missed for so many years.

Holsom: You want to fuck me?

Tucker: Who wouldn't want to fuck you? Yes, man. I'll fuck you... I'll be happy to give you something else to think about.

Holsom: You want me on all fours.

Tucker: First, we have to shower and get cleaned up... We've put in a full day.

The two men eye each other as they take their clothes off and throw them on the motel furniture. Tucker pours one more shot as each man looks at the other buck naked and semi-erect. Yes, Holsom is going to get fucked, and Tucker is going to get himself a huge hunk of manhood to gratify. Both men will remember the evening for a long time.

As Holsom turns to enter the bathroom, the first flashback occurs. It wasn't the old guy. It was the quarterback. The day that Hamster got him aroused and showed him a jack off trick... and then Hamster demanded that he jack off in front of him.

"Hey, I just pulled mine out and let you see it. It's time for you to pull out yours."

"You didn't say there'd be any tit for tat."

"Situations change. What's it to you? Your world's going to explode or something if you pull it out and show it to me? What's the deal? I just think we need to be even about this. I guess it's tit for tat if you want to look at it that way. Or you could look at like it's two buddies who now know what each of them looks like. You didn't mind looking at my dick. Are you really going to mind if I look at yours?"

"Well, if you put it that way."

"And we've seen each other in the shower hundreds of times... I just want to take a look at its po-ten-ti-al-i-ty (which he broke into six distinct syllables). And you're sorta liking this anyway."

"I ain't done nothing like this before."

"You're just learning a little more about life."

And then they would cum together. He remembered Hamster took the lube and wet his own dick and then dribbled a goodly amount on mine. He didn't touch it at that point, but got his knuckles close. Damn, his hand is rubbing against my stomach. My dick leaps up and hits his hand. He takes it away and sets the lube down. Standing in front of each other, jacking and the way he pulls his hand back down his cock and how far out he moves his fingers when he's rubbing the back of the head. The speed. That's the secret, the speed and the pressure.

Hamster leans into me and his dick touches mine. Oh, those chills and shots of heat. I couldn't help it when I jerked forward and we collided.

"Grab it." Standing there without touching himself, erect and proud, I accepted the command, realizing, despite my extensive training in masculinity, the world was not going to collapse if I put my hand on his dick. I had never had a feeling like the feeling that overwhelmed me as I pressed my hand around his dick. He dribbled more lube over my fingers. I began first by simply squeezing... applying pressure and releasing it... then came the slight movement and the extension of that movement as my hand explored the base of his dick, with its unexpected thickness, nothing like mine that remains virtually the same thickness from the base to the head. He seemed to grow in my hand. I know I felt the veins in his cock expand as I squeezed him lightly and then continue to expand as I released my grip. At that moment, Hamster encircles my dick with his fingers and begins stroking. We just stand there stroking and we could feel the feeling rise in both of us and the heat exploded and got goo all over everything... so had to do a major clean up after the event. I remember it as if it were yesterday. And it never happened again... and after that there were months of nights when my hand would turn as if it were Hamster's hand on my dick... and I would shoot off. All I had to do was repeat the visual story... imagine that one and only time we were together... and I would feel the wonderment of that time... Until it got around that I had given Hamster head... when I had never given him head, but only jacked him off as he jacked me off... the gossip died though when the coach walked in on Hamster sucking off Hank Jameson, the son of one of the town's most respected doctors. I never told the true story to anyone until tonight. I just forgot about it and it went down the memory hole. Except for the feelings, the recreation of that moment built up inside me... Just after that time with Hamster, I grew nine inches, and yet when I would jack off, I was that awkward skinny kid lifting weights trying to make himself bigger and Hamster was this sort of hero type in my eyes... and it was like that until I was eighteen and a half ... that's when I discovered my ass or I should say Mr. Alligood, Lester Alligood, the man who owned the biggest family restaurant in town, discovered my ass.

Everybody loved Lester. His employees loved him. His vendors loved him. His customers loved him. His wife and children loved him, and all he wanted, and what he eventually got, was my ass... The problem was I liked it. I felt things inside me I'd never even imagined existed. The desire for those late closing nights together became a drug... and I was hooked. But toward the end of the summer, the day after one of our nights I promised myself that I had done it for the last time, but then I would agree with the new weekly schedule which would put us together closing Sunday night. Lester had it all worked out. He would come back to his office in the morning and do the last night's business. He always saw that my tasks had been handled by the other staff, so nothing I normally did was undone. So after the employees left and the doors were locked, the time was to ourselves. This went on all summer and then I truly had to end it; I joined the Corps. All this was going on inside me, knowing it was counter to everything I'd been taught... yet the feelings were so overpowering and reassuring, so pleasurable and despicable all at the same time that I was consumed with the thought of anyone ever discovering my secret life.

So here it is... wasted in a motel room with a pretty heavy buzz going, talking about my teenage sexual escapades with a man who would pull his dick out in a heartbeat, and who has... Pretty damn interesting... and to know you want to fuck me and to know that I want you to fuck me... ah, fuck, let's have another shot and then we can shower.

So back between the beds they sit down with knees touching from time to time... and, of course, glances at each other's manhood. Holsom takes the bottle, pours a stiff shot in each glass, replaces the bottle. The eyes of both men seem locked as they raise their glasses to "Fuckin' Sex, that's the toast to fucking and sex and sex and fucking." Both men drink their shots simultaneously, and set the glasses down together, also. Holsom rises.

Tucker speaks: "Hey, if you're going to give me your ass a little later on, what's about giving me a touch of that cock before we head into the head."

Holsom jumps to complete erection with those words. He stands there, his dick twitching. Tucker is truly savoring the moment. With a purple blue veiner looking him in the eye, he allows himself to imagine the overwhelming sweetness of the first blush of feeling as his lips would touch the head of Holsom's cock. Lingering and lingering, Tucker lets the alcohol slow his concentration down and he continues to stare at this most desirable cock... this clichéd raging manhood. Tucker concentrates on running his tongue around on the inside of his mouth. This stalwart image of a man presenting himself before him tortures Tucker to such an extent he hesitates to make contact.

Tucker places his hands on the mountainous, rock hard thighs... and continues to stare.

After a few frozen moments, Holsom offers, "I thought you wanted to get a taste of it. I'm more than willing to let you."

Holsom's words bring Tucker back to the present alcoholic reality and Tucker realizes he's been tripping on the situation and almost meditating on the moment. Holsom glances up. Eyes meet. Holding his eyes on Holsom's face, Tucker leans forward the few remaining inches and makes contact. Tucker's lips detect the juice, the sacred juice from the inner man, as he kisses ever so lightly the skin of the head... his tongue elongates and gathers the fluid of the unrestrained depths of passion, brushing the tiny raised mounds of the fluid bearing orifice. The unexpected gentleness and firmness of Tucker's lips disproportionately bombard Holsom with feelings of explosion and excess. They are feelings he had never felt before coursing through him, animating him in a new, strange way.

Tucker knows what he has before him. He has a creature with a tortured inner life, a big man with a fine mind, a man tortured by his sensitivity to the memory of past events, events he found satisfying and fulfilling. He has before him a man, a real individual who thinks and feels, who is dumbfounded by senselessness, and still responsive to the antique virtues of honor and fidelity. Tucker is taking into his mouth a channel into this man's psyche, plugging into his core being, and bringing him feelings he has longed for over a decade. This is definitely a soul suck.

As Tucker's lips begin to envelop Holsom's dickhead, Holsom flashes back yet again to the first time Lester suggested sex. Lester was hosing down the kitchen after the final walk through and had accidentally sprayed both of them. Lester insisted they take off their wet clothes and lay them on trays in the ovens and set the ovens at a safe temperature to let the clothes dry quickly. Sitting around naked after the clothes had been placed in the ovens, Lester brings up the topic of masturbation and the feelings it brings about.

"You know, Eric, along with teen age drug use, there's the problem of teen age sexuality. I mean all these young unmarried girls becoming single moms. I know the fellows have to have release and how overpowering those feelings can be. I mean sometimes I remember at your age all I'd have to do is think of getting my dick sucked and I'd start getting a hard on. Imagining myself being treated to a pair of hot lips and an even hotter mouth and tongue. I mean some of those girls... the ones that wouldn't go all the way... but they would suck all the way. You just couldn't get any jizz on their outfits. God, those were the days in the back seat of a car in some deserted spot... or if we were desperate, we'd go to the only drive-in movie and park in the back row over to the side. All I had to do was show them my hard dick, and they wanted to suck it. I always washed. I went out squeaky clean. I didn't have to worry if the opportunity had to present itself. So what's your thoughts on necking and getting head.

Eric was unable to hide the rising of the flag staff as Lester laid out his story with its well-rehearsed lines and totally straight focus to the 18 year old employee, who could not help but be stimulated.

Yeah, I'd be getting a hard on, too, thinking about a pair of hot lips giving the head some really good licking. Shit, now, look at me, I'm starting to get hard. You think we could have a hard dick contest and sees who gets the biggest.

Eric shrugs his shoulders with an "I don't really know. I mean nothing bad is happening, so why not let him see it. You let Hamster see it, and except for loving that jack off scenario, my life went on quite well."

Stroke it, then. Pull on it gently and let the rest of the bl**d that wants to come in feel it's invited. Yes, let it grow. See, we're growing together. We're about the same size now. That's right. Keep on jerking. It's really getting close to getting rock hard. I love when my dick is rock hard. Makes me want to put some lube on it and feel the head swell. In fact, when I'm alone here, I sometimes pass the day... well, you know, jacking and arousing myself from time to time. Here, let me dribble some lube on your dick. Open your hand to catch what drips down. That's it. O.K. Let me drop some in the other direction. You got it. Now lube your dick with your whole hand... not just a few fingers; wrap your dick with the lube and start to work it. You'll be rock hard in no time at all. And think about how good it feels...

I bet you're thinking how hot it would be if your girlfriend's hand was wrapped around that hard young cock and squeezing it and making it feel so good, so really, really good. She could play with it while you gave her pussy some finger action... And you know how hard you get when she's playing with you and you're fingering her, and hearing her whimper while you rub that clit and fiddle with it in every direction you can move your finger. Work that clit. Imagine you're putting your finger in that hot hole. You're feeling that juicy hole, so warm and inviting. It's like when you finger your own ass, just as you're putting that finger inside and you feel the muscle give way. You push just a bit farther in and move your finger in and out, and it feels so good. Your ass hole is like her pussy. You need to have your ass played with. Turn around and bend over. I want to see your hole.

Never having experienced such language, let alone entertaining such thoughts that turned him every which way but loose on his insides, Holsom simply turned around where he was standing, bent over and spread his ass cheeks.

You have a pink hole, a pink unused hole, pink just like a pussy hole. That's right. Hold your cheeks apart. I want to lube the outer edge of your ass... Just rub some with my fingers on the outside. I'm not even going to try to enter you. I just want you to feel what it's like when you're rubbing your girlfriend's twat and your finger finds the entry to paradise. See. Your ass is already twitching... all I did was to touch your hole, just place my finger on it and it begins to twitch and convulse. Just nod if that feels OK to you. I think it does. You can close your cheeks, but I want to be able to run my finger over your pucker hole. I want to feel those involuntary rushes you get when my finger just barely brushes your male pussy. That's right. Male pussy. There comes a time in every boy's life he has to make a decision. Is his primary sexual organ going to be his dick or his ass, and it's not an easy decision to make. Desire pulls you in so many directions. Oh, how your ass likes the tip of my finger. It's like it knows which finger is touching it. Push against my finger when I touch your hole... Not hard enough for my finger to enter you, but far enough for you to feel those feelings that could be considered new and different from the feelings that make your pucker hole pucker. That's it. You determine everything. You can push as hard as you want to. You can take what you want to. If you want the fingertip, then take it. If you want to ride the fingertip, feel free. You can move as little as a quarter of an inch into your ass and drive yourself crazy with extraordinary sensations. You haven't even opened the door. You've merely brushed your feet on the door mat. You like what you feel and it is up to you to take it as far as you want.

Eric replies, "I want it as long as it feels good."

Then you won't have it any other way. Let's go to a more comfortable place. Get on your back on one of those tables and I'll hold your legs up in the air. I can get a good look at your hole and finger your ass at the same time. That's right. I'm going to place my knuckle against your ass and with your legs where they are, you can move your hips and ride my knuckle. Nothing goes inside but you get to get your first rubbing... I want you to start slow... You feel it? You feel how different it is from my finger.

Yes, Sir.

Now you keep rubbing my knuckle as if you were scratching an itch... and the more you scratch, the better it feels. You're getting it. Let your hole rise above it and fall below it... You can even push up into it when you've got it centered with your ass. Now push into it. You feel that sweet outer edge of your hole begin to wrap itself around the nub. Oh, yes, rub my knob... up and down... up and down... now go sideways, from left to right. Put some sway into it. Alternate each butt cheek. Tense then relax. Tense then relax. Left to right. Right to left. Up and down. Up and down... Keep going up and down...now got left to right... feel that rhythm, feel the moving from side to side. Alternate those thighs. Squeeze your ass. Grab my nub. Move into it. Pull away from it. Up and down. Long slow strokes. Up and down. Push into it. Grab that fucker and squeeze. Ride it. Ride it. Go with it. Fight it. Resist it. Welcome it. Ram it. Ram it. Push. Push. And, my God, my God, Ride it. Ride it.

Eric: I'm cumming. I'm going. I'm shooting. Ah, fuck, fuck, fuck.

Splat. Splat. Splattering. Emerging. Flowing. Cessation of cum, the beginning of the reverberations of the feelings, having just fucked himself with his boss' knuckle without penetration to their mutual satisfaction.

You know, Eric, the next time we do this, I want you to hold my dick.

Hey, even though I came, I can do that now. That's all I did with Jamie James. Just hold and jack each other's dicks.

Now that you've got your hand around my cock, can I ask you to pull on it for a minute or two. I'd like to drop some lube into your hand, so as you're pulling, there's a well lubed experience. That's it. Slowly, up and down, back and forth. Pull out just a little bit farther so you get the back of the head. That drives me crazy. Feeling the palm of the hand on the back of my glans. It drives me wild. You've got a talent for it. I must say.

Well, to tell the truth, the first and only time I did anything... Jamie James and I jacked off... and so I started placing my hand upside down on my dick when I jacked off. His hand felt so good on my dick and my hand felt so good on his dick. It was the hottest experience I'd ever had and so I started jacking off to it. I kept wanting his hand on my dick while I had my hand on his dick. That's what my thoughts were. We were jacking each other off.

Do you want me to hold your dick like Jamie James did back then? You're hard again.

Oh, I can cum again.

Do you want me to fulfill your fantasy and hold your cock and pull on it?

Yes, sir, Boss, I do.

Call me Lester.

OK, Lester. I want you to let me feel like I've wanted to feel again since the first time.

So that was it... the summer ended and I left all that behind. I just cut it off. I found my wife and decided to raise a family. I put it behind me for an awfully long time... and then it started up again, and then you walked into the office and I knew when my ass twitched I wanted to get as far away from you as I could. I didn't want you bringing up any of that summer with Lester. I missed it too much... and I had hidden all that from everyone... and then I started using the porn sites to explore my "other" side. I was just weaning myself from them... my wife had come back from visiting her sick grandmother and I was using that as an excuse to stop. And then you fucking walked into the office and I had to work beside you... and I could feel that cock of yours inside. I didn't even have to imagine very hard. I was feeling you and that was the last thing on the earth I wanted to do... respond to you. That's why I kept my distance and was minimally responsive. I didn't want anyone to know what I was fighting inside. And so here we are... drunk as skunks, and sucking on my cock and I haven't felt anything so good in years... OK... I confess... I did visit a bookstore for a while when I was stationed on the West Coast, so I did get my dick sucked, but it was totally anonymous.

Yes, suck it, man. We only have tonight, so let's make the most of it. You can play with my balls... and I know we're not perfectly clean, but if you would just run your fingers up my crack and tickle my asshole, I would really like that.

Removing his mouth from Holsom's dick, Tucker speaks: Squat down just a bit so I can spread your cheeks and I'll be happy to oblige. But only for a moment... we really do need to get into the shower together, get all lathered up, with our cocks hard and slick and clean. Let me gobble on this knob and play with your ass, then we're going to get into the shower and see what happens there.

Tucker sweetly takes Holsom's head back into his mouth, working his tongue over the head and under the shaft. Tucker's fingers slide gently between those rock hard cheeks covered with the fine hair of a teenager. Tucker applies a bit more pressure and the fingers slide over the hole. The fingers continue to slide up and down, just barely touching the outside edge of the hole. The fingers slide down again and a fingertip finds the center of the hole, placing just a small bit of pressure against it.

Holsom: You've found the spot. Play with it. Spoil it. Work it.

Tucker: Nope. We're getting into the shower.

Tucker stands. The two dickheads touch as both men watch the pre-cum from both dicks fall to the floor. Tucker tweaks Holsom's nipples. Holsom leans down and kisses Tucker's tit. They push their dicks together. They wrap their arms around each other and then break apart. Tucker slaps Holsom's bottom and urges him to the shower.

Tucker leans in and turns on the water, waiting for it to get hot before stepping into it.

Tucker: It's good to know how deeply you want this. It's something of a vindication for me. I knew inside me there was something between us, and it wasn't the hate you were projecting; it was the need that was broadcasting itself loud and clear that I picked up on.

The water hot, the two men step into the shower, sharing the soap and lathering each other's bodies.

Holsom's soapy hands go immediately to Tucker's cock. He soaps it, squeezes it and even begins jacking it.

"Whoa! Boy! You want that thing to last. It hasn't been jacked in at least two days, and if you keep pulling on it like you're doing, we're going to spoil our party. Why don't you wash the balls. I really don't want to cum right now... and thinking of your ass as my fingers rub your ass crack is getting me a lot closer than I thought I would be considering the amount of Jack we've been drinking tonight."

Holsom replies: "Go ahead, finger my ass. I'll slack off on your cock, but, you gotta think I haven't had another man's cock in my hand for, let's see, I was 18 and I'm 33 now, so 15 years. Give me a break, you cock hound."

"Actually, I'm more of an ass hound. Like I said, it's their asses and my cock. One of the best arrangements I can think of. "

"Keep working my ass. Soap and then finger it. Don't hurt it, but just open it and play with the inside. You gotta remember, there's been a lot of shit built up inside me over 15 years."

"I'd say a lot of denial... Well, I hope there's not too much shit built up inside it tonight."

"Hell, man, you know the kind of shit I'm talking about."

"And you know the kind of shit I'm talking about."

Both men laugh. Holsom turns his backside to Tucker, bends over, stating in his most commanding manner: "Open it up. Don't tell me to turn around until you've worked at least three fingers inside it."

"Man," Tucker replies, "that's what I want to hear. A 33 year old hunk of Marine manhood who wants his ass opened, and not only opened, exploded. To the kids, it's just another fuck, but to a man, it's an experience, a reality that will live with him a long, long time. That's right, you can push back a little. I've only got two going in right now."

"Just keep `em coming. Now fuck it with the two fingers for awhile and then slide that third one in when I'm not expecting it. Hit my prostate, cocksucker. Fuck this Marine like you've never fucked anyone else before."

"And that's coming from the mouth who wanted to throw me out of the office the minute you laid eyes on me. I'd say you're finding out who you really are. A man who wants to be fucked into a state of grace because you are a man no woman can satisfy. Oh, yeah, you can satisfy the women, and you have, but it takes a man to satisfy you."

At that moment, Tucker adds his ring finger and his forefinger to his middle finger and plunges in for a moment of bliss.

Holsom moans and pushes back. "Yeah, that's what I'm talking about. Fuck it. Open it up, make it ready for your cock. It takes a faggot to fuck a man."

"I need the reinforcement. You like that?"

"Yeah, now twist it and punch it in and out so it wants to slide in even farther. You wanna try four fingers, ass fucker?"

"I'll try the whole hand if that's what you want."

"No, I don't think I'm ready to walk over that line. Your dick is as far as I want to go."

"I hear that."

Tucker works Holsom's ass a while longer and then the two men rinse off. Tucker turns the shower off and without missing a beat, Holsom falls to his knees and begins sucking Tucker's cock. Holsom devours the cock as if he were starving, and he has been, for 15 years, he has been starving the other side of his being, the side he lives with secretly and alone. No one has reached inside him. Sure he has had friends and buddies and comrades and bunk mates, but no one has reached inside him; this big tall slugger of a guy has slogged through the days and months and years observing the outward prescriptions for happiness, but he has never felt satisfaction until tonight. Tonight he is drunk with a fag, a gay man who is giving him everything he has missed and everything he has denied himself, and it feels so incredibly good and overwhelming and he wants that final moment as he imagines the dick he is sucking on filling his ass.

Tucker looks down and Holsom is in a blissful meditative state, the dick resting deep within his mouth. Not much action is going on, but Holsom is participating with his intensity, concentration, and focus. Tucker feels his own feelings are being sucked deep inside Holsom. Tucker takes Holsom's head in his hands and pulls it back so Tucker can see his dick go in and out of Holsom's mouth.

"You like fag cock, don't you, Marine?"

"Fucking A, I like this cock. It's at a moment like this that I know that cock is the answer to almost every prayer."

"Well, you're on your knees, aren't you? I want you to let me worship at your altar. Let's have another belt, get on the bed with your dick in my mouth and my dick in your mouth and see if we can't make the marvelous happen?"

"I can go there."

Fresh ice and at least three fingers and the men look at themselves, put the glasses down and each one takes a swig from the bottle.

Holsom looks Tucker directly in the eyes. "Let's suck."

The two men assume the position on their sides. Tucker can't help but notice the pre-cum oozing out of Holsom's piss hole and begins to lick the head of Holsom's dick. Holsom moans and then chows down on Tucker's rock hard and also oozing manhood. The men pull each other into their mouths and work the head to the gag point in the back of their mouths, enjoying the pressure, while their hands explore their masculine bodies.

The intensity in synchronous sucking abates and then stops. Each man has the head inside his mouth and is feeling the fullness, the shape, the dream that sex promises, lost in each one's completeness. Just suck. Just suck. No pornographic intensity, just the interior moment triggered by the feel of the cock inside each man's mouth. The alcoholic dizziness adds to the concentration and extravagance of thought. It's like there is no need to overact or show sexual interest. A feeling of completeness fills both men simultaneously. Neither has to make a move. Neither has to do anything but simply hold that cockhead still in his mouth and the rushes of released feelings overwhelm and overwhelm again. There is nothing to do but experience the flow, the effervescence, the effusion of inexplicable feeling shooting through both bodies. At that moment the strangest thing takes place. Both men begin to involuntarily quiver, not huge movements, but short, sharp jerks that throw their dicks deeper into their mouths. Each man holds the other more tightly. The jerks come more quickly and in short bursts of two or three. There is quiet. The dickheads are back quietly in each mouth and each man is just allowing himself to go wherever his thoughts and feelings take him. It is as if both men have created a new world that only they inhabit. It's sexual and pure and robust and unwavering. Feelings come out of nowhere. The level of pleasure rises with each passing moment, and then, another wave of jerks that are now becoming and bordering on spasms. Neither man knows where these sharp jabs of irradiating pleasure are coming from, but they are palpable; they are real. Neither man wants the feelings to stop. Both are afraid to verbalize anything unless they spoil the perfect intensity of the moment. Each wave of spasms rocks them effortlessly and yet with a growing level of recognition.

The spasms stop. The men have worked each cockhead over the back of each other's throats, so there are times when the spasms occur with the dicks deeply buried in each other's throats, and the jerks of the legs and the squeezing in of the stomach only abet the depths of sexual interaction. The moment is passing. Each man continues to suck and the sucking produces a great deal of pleasure, but the moment of the involuntary overflow of feeling and the aura that enveloped both men has disappeared. Now the raw masculine meaty sex of two men comes to the fore. Each man continues to suck these hard pre-cum dripping instruments of fantasy and fun.

Tucker gets in a few well- placed swats on Holsom's ass, which Holsom welcomes. They suck with vivacity, their hands exploring their bodies, but the main focus is those cocks, those two tools that take men through doors that only cocks can allow them to enter. Cocks take men into places like nothing else can. Strap-ons, real skin dildos, cucumbers and other objects that can be put into the orifices of the body bring about a sexual response and produce pleasure, for sure. But the real cock attached to a real man is an experience that can become an endless journey... and each time a different journey to a different land.

The men then at the same moment pull apart, their hands still resting on each other's bodies and look into each other's eyes.

Tucker speaks: "I think I'm in need of another shot and then I want to focus my tongue on your button hole."

"I could use a belt myself, and I'd be happy to see what happens when you start licking my ass."

"Something as strange as we just experienced."

"You felt it, too."

"Yeah, I didn't want to say anything, but shit was shooting through my body and I wasn't doing anything. I just had your cock in my mouth... and you had my cock in your mouth, and, yet, it felt like feelings were whirling around between us, like going down through your stomach to my cock and then going through my stomach to your cock. The feelings just kept moving and I wasn't doing anything."

"Man, did you hit that on the head! I was holding your cock in my mouth and then, shit, it was like all hell broke loose. Feelings were flying and I felt at one point I didn't know exactly where I was but I knew I was holding on to you and we were together somewhere else... I can't say where, but not in this room and then the jerks started. Both of us jerked at the same time and we're doing nothing. I'm just sucking your cockhead and you're sucking mine... just two guys sucking cocks and then all of a sudden I didn't know where I am or even who you are. I mean I was out there somewhere. It was a safe place. It was a good place, but it wasn't here and then I realized I had worked your dick down my throat and it was as tight as tight could be and then all these explosions inside me and I think that is when the last series of jerks occurred. And then we went back to sucking cock and it was like it was when I first put your cock in my mouth, just as sweet and the hunger for it was the same. I was getting off, but I kept thinking to myself, what the fuck just happened. I'd never had an experience like that before. Holy shit!"

"It was Holy Shit for me, too. I can only imagine what's going to happen when I stick my dick in your ass."

"Let's take another shot and find out."

The two men take swigs from the bottle. Tucker puts it back on the nightstand.

Tucker speaks: Get on all fours and put your ass slightly over the edge of the bed. I want to eat you out and open you up... I can't hold back much longer. I've got to feel my dick in your ass. And I know you want to feel my cock filling up your manhole.

I've wanted your dick up my ass since I knew you were going to fuck me. All this has been prelude.

Holsom assumes the position. Tucker drops to his knees, and as before, simply stares at Holsom's ass.

Pull your cheeks apart. I want to get the best look I can.

You can look all you want, but I want you to do something more than look. Kiss it. Kiss that rosebud and then spit into my hole. I've waited 15 years for this night, and I want everything you can give.

Tucker spits a good sized glob right above Holsom's hole and as it's dripping down over the rosebud, Tucker leans into Holsom's butt and begins to lick the spit around the area and then he kisses the rosebud and tweaks it with his tongue. Holsom pushes his ass into Tucker's mouth and begins to gyrate slightly. Tucker's tongue becomes more aggressive.

For God's sake, suck on that hole. I want to feel you pulling my insides out, fucker. I want you to vacuum that hole and then I want to feel something inside. That's right. Push that tongue as far in as you can get it. I want to feel the darkness being opened up. Tease it, man. You exquisite cocksucker, you. Suck and penetrate. Pull my insides out and rub them with your tongue. I'm right here, right now, and I don't give a shit about anything except to feel you fuck my ass.

I think you're ready for a finger now. Suck on my finger and get it all juicy so it can slide up inside you. That's it. Bring up that spit in the back of your mouth and lube that finger right.

Tucker takes the juiced up finger and teases Holsom's ass. Tucker gives Holsom a swat or two to loosen up the cheeks.

Man, you got a firm hand. You know how to handle a man.

And you're a lot of man to handle.

With that statement, Tucker pulls his finger out and places it under Holsom`s dripping cock for more lubrication. This time Tucker lubes up two fingers and eases them into Holsom's hole.

While Tucker is playing with Holsom's hole, he gets onto the bed.

Make yourself useful while I open you up. Suck on that cock. Get it all nice and wet so when it's rock hard I can jam it up inside you and ride you like there's no tomorrow.

Holsom doesn't wait until all the words are out of Tucker's mouth and his head is moving to receive Tucker's dick and suck on it deeply.

By now, Holsom's hole is taking three fingers and Tucker is getting ready to put all his fingers together to give Holsom the four finger treatment. Tucker continues for a while longer to work his three finger configuration all over Holsom's landscape. In. Out. Deep penetration. Playing around the edge. Rubbing up and down over the rosebud. Now Tucker takes his well lubed hand and gathers as much of Holsom's pre-cum as he can. His fingers are all together and the clear viscous liquid covers the surface of this bullet and is going to penetrate and open up Holsom.

Holsom pulls back from Tucker's dick.

Man, I'm so fucking drunk and so into this, I don't know what to say. Put those fingers back in my ass, `cause I've waited too long. Don't get me wrong or any fucking thing; I love eating this pole. I mean I fucking love eating and sucking on this pole, but as much as I fucking love it, I want it up my ass. I want you to plug my hole.

Hey, if you've waited 15 years, you can wait a few more minutes. I don't simply want you to suck on my dick, you're going to deep throat it, so when it comes out of your mouth, it'll glisten like some Christmas tree ornament.

With that statement, the beginning of the four finger exercise commences. Holsom's sphincter, battered and relaxed by the foreplay, offers no resistance and the interior cheek walls open, welcoming the ever enlarging force of Tucker's five fingered point.

Tear it the fuck up, Cocksucker. Make me ready!!! Fuck me now, you S.O.B. You got me drunk, you bastard, thank goodness and gave me this moment. You're an asshole, but a hot one, and you're as fucking manipulative as a bitch. But I fucking love sucking your cock. There. I've said it. I love sucking your cock, so I'm a fucking cocksucker. Uncle Sam's hidden, secret, in denial cocksucker. But I'm a Marine. I lead men. Oh, fuck it. Just fuck me.

Tucker's fingers are pumping Holsom's hole, widening it and taking away all resistance.

At that point, Tucker pulls his dick out of Holsom's mouth and his fingers out of Holsom's ass.

I want a shot and then you're going to get on your knees, deep throat the shit out of my cock. I want to see you jerk and gag taking it, covering it with that deep really juicy throat lube and then when I think I've got enough of the deep juice on it. I'm going to pull it out. You're going to get on your back with your ass just at the edge of the bed. You're going to pull your legs to you and present that hole to me like a gift from God. I'll spit on the hole, place my well lubed cockhead and then push, and that god dam Marine ass of yours is going to get what it's been missing for 15 years... and you're going to get it consciously and willingly and with great desire. Tonight you're going to take this cock and you're going to fucking love it. Love it. You're going to realize and accept you're a bottom with a hole that wants to be filled.

Pretty much like Tucker has outlined it, the men take the shot. Tucker nods and Holsom falls to his knees, his hands gripping Tucker's thighs, and begins sucking. He lets his lower jaw fall after a while and pushes forward onto Tucker's cockhead. Without any effort and with a minimum of resistance, the head moves over the back of the tongue and instead of hitting an obstacle, the gate opens and the head moves forward with an unexpected ease. Holsom feels a feeling he has never felt before and seemingly miraculously he can still breathe as the cock sits deep in his throat. For a brief passing fraction of a second, he feels the gag reflex hint at wanting to kick in, but it doesn't. Tucker moves his cock back into the mouth cavity and lets it linger there for a moment. Holsom moves forward a bit and pressures the cockhead to the back of this throat, where, again, it eases itself over the hump and deep inside him. Holsom squeezes Tucker's butt and slaps it with both hands while Tucker is deep inside him. Holsom wants to breathe easily, so he pulls back but still holds the cock in his mouth.

That's right, Sergeant. Take it all and love every inch of it. Swallow it, cocksucker, now that you know what you are. Take it deep one more time and then your 15 year old fantasy is going to come true. That's right, just push forward and let it slide down the back of your throat. You didn't even know you wanted it this bad, but now you know. Now you know. You're a man's man and you will be from this night forward. Your life is about to change. Hold it, man. Hold it, Marine. Let it absorb that thick sweet juice so I can fuck you like you've been wanting to be. You're breathing. Be controlled. Hold it, Sarge. Hold it deep down. OK. That's it. One more shot and you're on your back.

Tucker pulls his heavily lubed and shining cock out of Holsom's mouth. The bottle passes between them. Tucker nods and Holsom gets on his back and puts his ass right at the edge. Tucker grabs a couple pillows, tells Holsom to pull himself up and Tucker places them under Holsom's lower back. All this transpires in a matter of seconds. Tucker leans down, gets a bead on Holsom's pucker hole and spits a big gob he's worked up in his mouth. At that very instant, his cockhead finds the rosebud and pushes forward without resistance into Holsom's ass. Holsom moans and whimpers. Holsom moans again.

You're going to be doing more than moaning before we finish.

Holsom responds: Please, just let it rest inside where it is before you start moving it.

I hear you, bro.

Slowly, almost without notice, Holsom begins to move his ass around, feeling the pole he's wanted, he finally admits to himself from the minute he'd seen Tucker enter the office. He hadn't wanted to want him; that's why he rejected him. But now, every fear, every hesitation, every denial has vanished in the miasma of Jack Daniels and his overwhelming recognition of his need... his need to be human, his need to be able to want what he desires without the influence of any outside forces. This dick up his ass is his key to his freedom... to internal freedom, a recognition of who he really is and what he is really about. Already the future begins to change in his mind as his ass works over the cock filling him so deeply and so completely.

Tucker gets into the rhythm. Both men are moving together and banging each other into each other. Tucker pulls way out and then slides himself without force but with determination deep into Holsom's hole. Holsom smiles and looks directly into Tucker's eyes. Tucker smiles and continues to pump Holsom long and slow.

Tucker speaks: I think you need to begin jacking yourself, `cause I can't hold out much longer. You may have waited 15 years, but I haven't cum in a couple of days and I'm loaded. My balls are beginning to tingle and that's one of my signals my body gives me to let me know I'm not too far away from the big O. Let me spit on your cock and you start jacking.

Holsom grabs his dick. Tucker spits, while giving Holsom a slow deep jab. Holsom starts to jack. Tucker fucks for just a little while, and then leans forward and drops another big gob of spit on Holsom's dick head and watches as it slides down into the grip of Holsom's fingers. Tucker continues to pump.

Holsom blurts out: If you keep that up and I keep up what I'm doing, I'm going to shoot.

You want me to speed up and shoot my load inside you?

Give it to me fast and hard and let me know when you're about to shoot. I think I can get me off at the same time, but you got to give me just a little time so I can feel the peak coming.

Tucker moves more aggressively, longer strokes, some fast punching. Holsom is howling. Tucker yells, "Man, get yourself going. I'm getting ready to unload inside you. The load is right at the base. I think if I give you three or four more deep thrusts, I'm going to unload inside you.

That's what I want to hear. I'm about to burst, too. Hit it hard and tell me as it rises down the pike.

Oh, it's about to let go. I can feel it working itself into a ball at the base of my cock. It's tightening up. It's getting closer. It's just waiting for me to hit you about three more strokes and then I'll be there.

OK. I'm with you. It's just about to explode.

Man, it's right at the edge.

Tucker pounds his ass a couple more heavy deep strokes. Holsom's hand is in total control. He's letting the load rest in his balls until Tucker tells him Tucker's load is on the way.

Tucker: OK, man, get ready. It's coming down the pike. I'm cumming. I'm cumming. Man, it's filling your ass.

I feel it. I feel it.

Holsom explodes. He hits his face, his chest, his stomach, and finally the juice dribbles down his lubed up hand.

Holsom speaks: Don't move. Don't take it out. I'm twitching too much for you to do anything. Just leave it in there while I come down.

I don't think you're coming down. It's staying pretty hard even with that big load coming out. I won't move though. I know just what you're feeling.

Tucker reaches for the bottle. He hands it to Holsom who lifts his head and takes a final swig. Tucker takes the bottle, and he, too, takes the last hit of the night. Meanwhile, Holsom's ass begins to loosen around Tucker's cock, and Tucker's cock slowly loses its total hardness and begins to slide slowly and gently out of Holsom's hole.

Tucker: Well, that went well.

Holsom: Too well, asshole. You had this whole thing planned.

Tucker: You were so deep in denial there was a glacier between us. I had to crack through that ice somehow. I figure if I got you a little light headed, the truth of what you really wanted would come out. And it did.

Holsom: And it did. You going to wash my hole when we clean up.

Tucker: My newly minted cocksucker, I'll not only wash your asshole, I'll lick your ass.

Holsom: You're not going to eat your cum?

Tucker: That's a line I haven't stepped over... Yet.

Holsom: There's a first time for everything. It's only spit and cum.

Holsom falls back onto the bed with the two pillows under his lower back and offers his ass to Tucker.

Prove what a real fag you are. Eat your cum out of my ass.

Tucker looks at that perfect ass. The warmth of the liquor hits him, he falls to his knees and starts sucking his cum out of Holsom's ass. When he can detect no more sperm, he stands up.

So who wins?

Can't we both win? I get your dick. You get my ass, and then you put the cherry on the top of the ice cream sundae by eating your own cum out of my ass.

Both men smile at one another, stand, slap each other's faces, and head to the shower.

The rest of Tucker's assignment goes smoothly. Holsom remains a bit aloof, but there is no sense of animosity between the two men. Both know that there is no reason to even hypothesize about a second time together, and when the final handshakes are exchanged, the men look into each other's eyes, wiser for the shared reality and open to what the future may hold.