Master and the Mate
by
Deepdiver
ed. Dave L.
Chapter 36
Bowsome Mate
During Ryan's next chemotherapy session, Kyle accompanied him inside the treatment area. He couldn't help but notice the male nurse that was working on Ryan's IV. He was an extraordinarily handsome guy and slightly effeminate. Kyle noticed that his body was perfectly-proportioned and that he had such clearly defined facial features that with a little makeup he could easily pass for an attractive woman.
"Hello gentlemen, my name is Glen. Here's your pill, sir." Said the nurse to Ryan.
"Good morning," Kyle and Ryan chorused in reply.
"Is this your grandson?" Glen asked Ryan.
Ryan didn't miss the put-down as Glen was clearly flirting with Kyle and trying to come between them psychologically. Kyle felt flattered to receive Glen's attentions, but did not want to encourage his sideswipe of Ryan.
"We are lovers," Kyle said defending their relationship.
"Oh, you have a sugar daddy I'm jealous," Glen said vaguely, not indicating of whom he was envious.
"I'm going for some coffee, can I get you anything Ry?" Kyle said.
"No, I'm fine. Thanks hun." Ryan said appreciatively.
Kyle went directly to the cafeteria and once in line noticed that the breakfast special was French toast with sausages and he suddenly felt an appetite. The cafeteria was quite crowded and he had to carry his tray a good distance before he found a free table. He was still going through the ritual of preparing his coffee in the styrofoam cup when he heard Glen's voice.
"Mind if I join you?"
"Help yourself," Kyle said, nodding toward the empty chair. He also noticed that many others were following Glen's movements silently with their stares. Seeing two such gorgeous hunks sitting at the same table was a real conversation-stopper.
"So how long have you and the old man been together?" Glen said cynically.
"Since the summer, I worked on his yacht." Kyle answered, irritated by Glen's innuendos but at the same time, enjoying the attentions of a young man that could easily be the next model on the cover of GQ's next edition.
"So you two are still on your honeymoon?" Glen continued to pry into Kyle and Ryan's private life, not recognizing the normal boundary of propriety. "What a shame he's sick."
"He's not sick, merely has a tumour that needs to be removed." Kyle said, defending Ryan.
"Oooh, aren't you the handsome knight defending your man so valiantly. I wish I had someone that would defend me so bravely," said Glen seductively.
"What? A handsome guy like you has no boyfriend?" Kyle said, not even asking Glen if he were gay or not.
"Just haven't met the right guy, yet. So tell me about you." Glen said, looking deeply into Kyle's eyes.
'Nothing special about me. I'm just an ordinary guy a house dad I take care of our two sons."
"Wow, how impressive. Only months together and already have more than one child. How did you guys manage that?" Glen continued working on Kyle's ego.
The conversation continued until Kyle had finished his breakfast. Glen had only taken a coffee, but he waited to walk back with Kyle. Slowly Kyle began to like Glen, who was a graduate nurse, who once he stopped putting down Ryan and Kyle's relationship was capable of making Kyle feel special. They exchanged phone numbers before entering the clinic.
That night Kyle woke Ryan when he came on his thigh as a result of a wet dream. He had dreamed of Glen and went over the edge as he felt himself penetrating Glen's beautiful naked body. This was the first time that either had experienced a wet dream since they had been sleeping together and Ryan wondered about its meaning. Kyle didn't wake, but did snuggle up closer to Ryan.
By the time Christmas Eve rolled around, Kyle and the boys had the house decorated inside and out. All the presents were placed under the tastefully-decorated tree that was emitting a wonderful, fresh pine scent, that spread throughout the house. Ryan felt and looked good in spite of the continued treatments. The four planned to attend the choral concert in Church and the Midnight Mass.
Kyle and the boys now understood much more of the meanings of the different parts of the Mass. They had come to learn that the first part of the service was pretty much the same as what the Jews would have been doing in the synagogues at the time of Jesus. Readings and psalms were taken from the Old Testament and then from the New. The second part of the Mass replaces the sacrifices offered in the Temple of Jerusalem. The inherited Aaronic priesthood was replaced by the freely-chosen priesthood based on Christ himself. As Christ had offered his blood on the Cross in order to seal the new covenant, each of his followers would now drink his blood as the means of joining His new alliance. Baptism is the necessary purification like washing one's hands before eating. Belief in the Eucharistic presence of Jesus is the test of the authenticity of each of his follower's faith.
Kyle had questioned how Ryan could remain an active member of the Catholic Church when he himself was a practising homosexual. Ryan had answered that he was not a sinner because he sinned; but he sinned because he is a sinner and that the Eucharist is God's gift to a sinful people. It is the medicine we need. God himself is our medicine and medicine is given to those who need healing.
"By allowing God into my life, I allow him to transform me in the way he wills. I have come to learn that he has, and does, transform me every time I receive his body and blood I grow in my capacity to love, to be more like him. Apparently it isn't necessary for him to change me into a heterosexual in order for me to grow. I just trust in him to remake me as He sees fit. We are what we read, we become what we eat!" Ryan said.
"But do you really believe he is present in bread and wine?" Kyle pressed while Mark and Manny listened very carefully.
"St Paul in his letter to the Corinthians says, 'if we eat the bread and fail to recognize him we sin against the body and blood of Christ.' So, yes, I do. My senses tell me its bread and wine, my faith tells me it is the continuation time of the mystery we celebrate tonight. God the Son, incarnate, becomes flesh and blood, and lives amongst us. It continues to happen every day since He came out of the tomb. And all this is done for us sinners."
"But Ryan, I don't understand why the priest can't marry?" Mark asked.
"We Catholics believe that each priest is another Christ. That at their ordination they are joined to Jesus himself, the one true priest. Since Christ offers himself on the cross, each priest offers himself as well. Christ died on the cross for all men of all time. Each priest dies each day by sacrificing his bodily desires." Ryan explained.
"Yeah, but look how many priests leave and get married and how many others have been caught in scandals." Kyle said.
"That just shows that it is a real sacrifice and that priests, like everybody else, are sinners and weak and need God as well. The more priests that fall just serves to prove that their sacrifice is not easy. Many people will tell you to believe all kinds of stuff. But how many are willing not to have sex so you believe them? Ministers of other churches preach the gospel, but what do they sacrifice to help us believe them? Can you think of one Protestant preacher that practices celibacy for the kingdom? Its talked about in the New Testament, but in general ignored by them. I suppose, without the truth of the Eucharist, celibacy just isn't worth it. But when one discovers the truth of Christ present in the Sacrament of the Altar, who joins believers with God Himself, and all men as brothers, that is worth dying for and celibacy and many other sacrifices like martyrdom."
"So how come you didn't become a priest?" Mark asked Ryan.
"I tried, but I don't think it was my calling and I couldn't live without sex. I am now convinced that my calling was to be a dad your dad and Manny's and Kyle's lover. So perhaps my mission in life is not only to save you from drowning, but to save you for eternity." Ryan said humbly.
"Do you believe in the devil?" Manny asked.
"I believe in evil. I have seen it. I believe that evil masks itself with lies. I believe that any contradiction unmasks the lie and the evil one. I believe that the devil is a fool whose only power is in his lies and the confusion he causes. So when we believe in the truth of Jesus, the devil has no power over us. But he will do anything to keep us from receiving Christ's body. He will teach us the Bible and teach it fairly well to keep us from receiving communion. He will inspire us to do great things to keep us away from the Eucharist. He will call men and women to ministry, and to be eloquent preachers that convert thousands, if it will keep them out of the confessionals and away from belief in the real presence. The devil will even prick our conscience and show us our sins so we feel too guilty to receive the body of Christ. See, he doesn't play fair. God and his Church may only preach the truth. But the devil gets to use both truth and lies to confuse the hell out of us!" Ryan said with conviction. "He is present even in the Church trying to convince gays that God does not love us so that we don't believe in the Eucharist, so that we don't receive the medicine that wipes away all sin and spiritual illness."
Kyle listened attentively to all that Ryan said, but his mind kept picturing Glen and what he might be doing at this moment. Who was Glen with? What would it be like to touch his body, to kiss his mouth?
Kyle fought these thoughts, but he was constantly distracted as Ryan shared his beliefs.
Mark and Manny on the other hand, listened angelically to Ryan as he eloquently described his Catholic faith. Mark knew what it was like to live in a family with no faith. For years he believed that his Mom and Dad were God-like, superior to all others, only to find that it was all a sham. They had so many things, bought with blood money. But when they died, they left their son with nothing to cling too, nothing to guide him, nothing to give meaning to his life. Yet in a matter of weeks, Ryan had not only raised his spirits, but had managed to connect him closely to Kyle and Manny and so many others that he was learning to love and feel part of.
Manny too came from a dysfunctional family and knew what it was to feel abandoned and alone. But the same day that he was taken from his sick and dying mother he found himself transported into a life not only filled with love, but also now with the light of faith which was helping him find meaning, purpose and a growing spirituality rooted not in pious words, but the connectedness to real community.
Kyle felt torn. He undoubtedly loved Ryan a much older and wiser man. But now he also felt attracted to the beauty and youthfulness of seductive Glen. Ryan was offering him security, family, fidelity and faith. Glen represented the intrigue of adventure, exploration, popularity and infatuation.
The Mass ended and the choir sang 'Silent Night.' The peace of the song invaded the hearts of Ryan, Mark and Manny. Kyle too heard the words, but was not feeling the peace of Christmas, but rather the pangs and angst of carnal desires. It was almost as if Ryan's words became prophetic. The devil could send us something good, like love, to keep us from something better, like faith and fidelity.
When the four arrived home after Midnight Mass their guests were already arriving. Dominic and Teresa were first to arrive as they were going to cater the small Christmas party. Bill's parents, Richard and Mary also came bearing shopping-bags filled with gifts. Bill and Tony came over followed by Jerry and his new partner, Chuck, the undercover cop.
Everyone was exchanging gifts while Ryan and Kyle served egg nog spiked with a nice Puerto Rican Rum, Palo Viejo, not the mass produced shit (oops, I mean firewater!) that Barcardi sells putting more into promotion like Budweiser than into the quality of their product. Dominic had prepared the traditional Italian Christmas Eve dinner consisting of Bacalao or cod fish soup. Followed by a nice spaghetti carbonari and of course Mark's favourite dessert, rum-flavoured cannolies.
Mary and Richard had bought the latest version of the Hess truck for Manny and it was the most attention-getter of the gifts for the boys. Suddenly Mary became aware of the Christmas tree and commented on its singular beauty.
"Where did you buy this tree? I was all over the place and couldn't find anything like this so tall and so full." she said. Others began to notice how extraordinary it was.
Ryan had Manny give everyone their loaf of bread while Mark handed out the wrapped jars of strawberry jam. Everyone was so pleased with the thoughtfulness of the gifts.
"Everyone, I would like to make a toast." said Ryan, "to the Lord, who's birth we celebrate this night, in thanks for a wonderful year in which this group of very special family was formed and reformed. To Kyle who teaches me how to love deeper (no pun intended yeah, right! Ed.) every day, for the gift of our two sons whose presence here enriches us so, for the rescue of Mark and his rescuers, for Manny who managed to convince a judge to allow him to stay with us, for Dominic and Teresa, whose friendship and support has always been unfailing, to Bill and Tony who remind us to remain young in our love, to Richard and Mary to remind us that love can be for a lifetime, but most of all to Kyle. Kyle, since the day you came on board, the ship of my life has remained steady in spite of violent seas. You are the compass, you are my helm, you are my anchor. Merry Christmas everyone!" Ryan said.
The funniest gift was from Manny, who gave Ryan a donut pillow so that he could sit more comfortably.
"What is it?" asked Tony.
Bill responded with a fast comeback, "It's a cock ring!"
"Well I hope he can exchange it, it looks a bit small for Ryan!" Tony said.
"Tony! Watch your mouth! There are children here." Teresa said.
Ryan took the pillow and looked at it carefully, and said, "overwhelming!"
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