That next morning I awoke feeling happier than I'd felt in longer than I could remember. Matthew smiled sheepishly as he crawled out of the tent. "Morning love." I couldn't help but beam him as he passed. He stopped long enough to place a tender kiss on my lips and then knelt down at the river to wash. The rest of the day was relatively quite. We spent more time lounging by the river, snuggling and enjoying each other, but as the day went on, I noticed a definite change in Matthew, a change that worried me. "Alex, you know we have to talk about this, right?" I snapped back to reality at these words. No, this couldn't be happening. Not after last night. He wasn't going to tell me something about it being a mistake, and that it couldn't ever happen again! "You know I love you, right? And you know that what we had last night, I don't want it to end, right?" Okay, so this wasn't exactly what I had expected. "But are we prepared to face the consequences of anyone finding out? I'm not so worried about myself as you. Even though you've never told me, I've got a pretty good idea who attacked you that day, and he won't be any easier to deal with, if he find's out about us." I knew he was right, and that was what scared me. I grabbed my pad and began writing, " so, what are we gonna do?" Matthew sighed and pulled me closer. "I don't know. I do know that I'm not gonna let that happen again. I've never had anyone love me the way you have. "
The next few weeks were very stressful for both of us. We tried to act as naturally as possible when at school, but I couldn't help but wonder if perhaps people already knew something was different. Oh, there was nothing that I could really put a finger on, but people just seemed to look at both of us differently, suspiciously. Even my old friends from my advanced classes seemed to draw away from me. Was there something that obviously different about me? All I knew to do was to keep on acting as though nothing had happened, so we continued our lives at school as though nothing were different, and meeting together whenever we could. The answer to my wondering came all too soon. While digging through my locker one afternoon after Band class, one of my friend Kyle's questions grabbed my undivided attention. "So, what's the deal with you and Matthew? I didn't think you guys were that great of friends." I quickly began scratching across my pad with another question in reply, "We've just been hanging out lately. Since he WAS the one who found me that day and took me to the hospital. We've just, sort of, hit it off. What's the big deal?" Kyle stood staring at me, "the big deal is that Buddy's got it out for both of you! He's been making all this trash talk about Matthew, saying he's associating with people out of his own class and crap like that." I knew there was more, and began pressing Kyle, " and me? What's he saying about me" Kyle shifted from one foot to another, "he's been saying that you're too stupid and gay to take up for yourself, that you hired a bodyguard or something like that. I'm sorry, bro, about the `gay' stuff, but that's really what he's saying." I tried not to show that this fazed me at all. Me getting upset and scared was just what Buddy wanted, and if that meant causing trouble between him and Matthew, then more-the-better. Kyle stood back in horror, looking as though my writing pad was some sort of venomous viper," I've not go time to worry about that ass-hole of an oaf. If he had the sense of a piece of shit, then he wouldn't try to draw so much attention to himself," and feeling thoroughly satisfied with my shocking answer, I marched off.
When I met Matthew that evening in the parking lot, he was livid. So he'd found out too. I had never seen him so emotional. "That stupid, piece of shit, ass-hole, bastard! I am so frickin sick of his shit!" He slung his bag onto the back of the truck so hard that we heard something shatter. I tried to calm him down as we rode to his house. "Matthew, you know this is what he's wanting. He's wanting to draw you out. I'm just a brainiac nobody that no one would really give a second though to. YOU'RE a star athlete with more to lose. A big fight with Buddy mean's that you wouldn't be the `big dude on campus anymore," and in Buddy's eyes, he would be." Matthew nodded in angry agreement at what I had written, "You're right. A big controversy would be just what he'd like. You know what Alex? I've been doing some thinking. I wanna tell our parents about us." I practically fell into the floor of the truck in horror. Was he out of his mind? Matthew realized what my reaction meant, "I'm not saying we have to tell the world yet, but our parents are gonna find out sooner or later anyways. I don't want them finding out the wrong way. I love you, and to me, it's just that simple. Nothing else matters." I held onto the door handle of the truck, know for sure I would pass out before we go home.
To say that the news of our being together "didn't go over well" would be the absolute biggest understatement of history. In all fairness however, Matthew's parents were a little more accepting, finally announcing that they didn't approve, but they wouldn't stop us. My parents, on the other hand, completely freaked out. My mother sobbed, my dad yelled, and then they switched roles. "After all we have done to raise you in a right, moral way, you do this?!? You have brought a shame upon this household! I can't believe, after all these years of raising you right, that you've turned out to be a pervert!" The biggest blow of all came however when my father brought a backpack full of clothes, "Until you can get your life straitened out, you are no longer welcome in this house." Even my mother faltered at this. "I think that may be going too far," but my father stood his ground," No! It is not going too far. I will not have a damned pervert under my roof!" So, leaving with every one of my earthly possessions that I and Matthew could carry at one time, I left, sobbing and heartbroken. How could my parents be so cruel? I knew they'd be disappointed, but throwing me out? It was then that I made my mind up that I would no longer be bullied and be treated cruelly. I made a personal vow to myself that, if I could change the situation in any way, I WOULD NOT be treated like a doormat anymore. So, still sobbing into Matthew's shoulder as we drove back to his house, I started that very evening forming a plan.
All things considered, Matthew's parents were very sympathetic, allowing me to sleep in an extra bedroom and spend all the time with Matthew that we wanted, "so long as there was nothing inappropriate going on." I would've been lying to say that I wouldn't have rather slept with Matthew in his room, but I tried to be a gracious guest and obey the rules. As it turned out, the longer I stayed with Matthew's family, the more accepting they became of us. My "brainiac abilities," as Matthew put them, were helping him to bring his grades up so that he was no longer struggling in classes that had been a problem for years. Matthew's dad took us out hunting almost every weekend, during every local open season. He was and avid hunter, and as it turned out, an even more avid collector of guns. One of his most prized possessions was his "Smith and Wesson," tiny revolver recommended for women as a concealed-to-carry. "I bought this for Nadine years ago, but she doesn't carry it much." In ways, my life had taken a turn for the better, instead of worse. We spent time every evening watching some kind of movie or playing board games. Matthew's parents were amazed when I told them that my own home life had been nothing like theirs. Matthew's dad even began talking to me about looking into surgery again for my voice box. "Can't hurt to just see if there's someone out there who can help." So it was that my life, in many ways, started fresh and anew, each morning the four of us having breakfast together and discussing the day's events before we all four rushed off to school and work. I never allowed my intentions to show to Matthew or his family, but I was very attentive in watching their actions and listening to their words. Always in the back of my mind was my plan regarding Buddy and my parents. I would be damned if I saw them treat Matthew or myself cruelly anymore, and my plans were about to have a chance to be put to the test.