Disclaimers and Such:
This is a work of fiction. Made up. Make believe. Not real. I do not know Lance Bass, nor the other members of N'Sync, and this should imply nothing, zip, zilch, about their true sexuality. The locales in the "Maze of Moments" series are real, however, some poetic licence was taken with chapter five. All other characters are products of my imagination.
Any reproduction of this story is prohibited without my permission. Hey, I have a good lawyer y'all.
Many thanks to all of you who have sent in comments! Add yours by sending feedback to: KandLStories@aol.com
And now, on with the show!
--Tony
The Maze of Moments - A Kevin and Lance Story
Chapter Five - A Night With Lance
"And the time is upon us, today is forever; tomorrow is just one of yesterday's dreams."
- from "Cold Nights In Canada" by John Denver
Cruising along the interstate, Lance Bass reached over for the cell phone that lay on the passenger seat of his 4-Runner. Laying it in his lap, he pushed a series of familiar numbers, and then held it up to his ear as he steered with his free left hand. Once, then twice the line on the other end rang before an equally familiar voice answered.
"Yo, J.T. here."
"Justin, it's Lance."
"Scoop! Hey man, what's up? Enjoying your vacation?"
"Yeah, it's going pretty good Curly. How about yours?"
"Eh, so-so. Brit's tied up with interviews and shit, and I'm kinda going stir-crazy. It's only been a few days and I'm about ready to hit the road again!"
"Yeah, right. Just wait until we spend a stretch of nights on that damn bus. You'll be bitching and moaning about wanting to stay put for more than a night somewhere!" Lance laughed.
Justin laughed right along, knowing that his friend was right. "So, Lansten, to what do I owe the pleasure of hearing your voice this morning?"
"Well, Just, I kinda need a favor. You know that restaurant you take Brittney to all the time? The one that's quiet enough for you two so that you don't attract a crowd?"
The other end of the line was quiet for a moment as Justin Timberlake thought about where Lance was talking about. "Oh yeah...you mean the one in Germantown? The Italian one?"
"Yeah. Do me a favor. Call it up and make me some dinner reservations for tonight, please?"
"Scoop, don't you think that's a little out of the way to be taking your folks out to dinner? I mean, all the way to Memphis?"
Lance sighed as he shifted lanes, passing a slower vehicle.
"No, Justin. I need a reservation for two."
Justin was quiet for a moment again, and when the light dawned, practically blew out Lance's eardrum.
"OH MY GOD!! YOU HAVE A DATE!!"
Holding the phone away from his ear, Lance laughed at his friend's reaction. Damn, if this is how Justin reacts, I can't wait to hear the other guys. "Yes, Justin, I have a date. Hey, lets try not to make me lose my hearing, okay?"
"Lance! Oh my god! Damn, boy, it's about time! What's his name? Where'd you meet him? How old is he..."
"Justin, slow down! Breathe, huh? His name his Kevin, I met him at Ole Miss, and he's twenty- one. I'm hoping you don't want a description of him too!"
"Not yet anyway! Wow, went for an older man...I'm impressed Scoop!"
"He's not older! Only by a few months," Lance laughed. "Now, you gonna make those reservations for me? And give me directions on how to get there if I'm coming from Oxford...."
Back in Oxford, the morning passed into afternoon as Kevin Douglas sat at his desk, typing his term paper.
After Lance had left, he went about the task of cleaning up in the kitchen and straightening up the apartment. Going back to his room, he picked up on his work where he had left off a couple of hours earlier, when he was interrupted by the appearance of Lance and the bagel. Around one o'clock, he decided to take a break. The paper was nearly done by that point, only some final editing and footnoting was left to be done. After stretching and getting something to drink, he clicked out of his word processing file, and logged on to the internet.
Using a search engine, he typed in the word "N'Sync" to see what would come up. What he found was amazing. Literally hundreds, if not thousands, of hits were brought back. Fan sites, news clippings, pictures, sound and video files, fan written stories (including a number of ones that were called, oddly enough, "slash")...it seemed to go on and on. Opening up a few video files from various sources, he watched Lance and the others being interviewed, performing, giving awards, receiving awards, and just acting silly. What struck him is that Lance always seemed to be in the background, allowing Justin Timberlake and JC Chasez to take the majority of the spotlight, with a comment here and there from Joey Fatone and Chris Kirkpatrick. Even more intriguing to him was that Lance never sang solo. Justin and JC were clearly the lead singers, and Chris and Joey had their own moments, albeit briefly, but Lance was there for backup, providing harmony.
"I don't get it," he said to himself. "I heard him sing yesterday and he's great. So what if he has a deeper voice than the other guys...he'd be awesome with a solo."
Looking over at his watch, he noticed it was approaching three thirty.
"Jesus, I've been surfing for almost three hours!" Shaking his head, he exited the web, and returned to his paper. "No rest for the weary," he sighed.
Another hour and a half would pass before Eric returned home from his job as an assistant manager at a local grocery store. Kevin heard him unlock the door and come into the apartment.
"Hey honey, how was work today?" he shouted.
Eric replied with a grunt.
"That good, huh?" Kevin got up and went downstairs, where he found his roommate lying on the couch, his right arm covering his eyes.
"Rough day?"
"I don't even want to talk about it. Tell me again why I took that promotion?"
"The same reason I took that fucking class. We never listen to each other about the important shit. Well, at least sometimes."
Eric grunted again.
"Aren't you even gonna ask?"
"Ask what?" Eric did not remove his arm from his face.
"About what I meant by at least sometimes?"
"Do I want to?"
"I think you do. Come on, ask me, ask me, ask me!"
Sitting up slowly, Eric turned to see his roommate with a huge grin on his face. "Okay, I'll bite. What advice of mine did you take? Wait, let me guess, you're going to take the Civil War class next year?"
"Nope. Yours truly is going out on a date tonight!"
Eric's eyes grew wide and a smile crept over his face.
"Well, it's about time! So, you asked him out, huh?"
"Uhm...no, the other way around. He asked me out."
"Wow, that was brave of him, wasn't it? Looks like he took my advice as well as you!" Eric was genuinely happy for his roommate and their new friend. Kevin just gave him a quizzical look. "You gave Lance advice? On what?"
Eric brushed off the question with a wave of his hand. "Nothing, nothing. I'll tell you later. So, what do you kids have planned for tonight?"
"We're going out to dinner...and then I'm not really sure. I guess we'll think of something."
"When's he coming over?"
"Seven."
"Well," Eric looked at his watch, "I'd say you'd better start to get your act together. It's after five now, and from the way you're funkdafying the house, I'm betting you need a shower. Badly."
Kevin looked offended for a moment. "I do not stink!" He emphasized his point by lifting his right arm and sniffing his armpit. Pausing for a moment, he made a face. "Okay, maybe I do stink. Never mind." Turning around, he returned upstairs to begin getting ready for his big night out. Eric laughed and shook his head, and as he watched Kevin trot up to his room, he swore he could hear him softly singing the words to "It's Gonna Be Me."
Six-thirty.
Kevin had showered, shaved, and changed clothes three times. Each time, he came downstairs to show Eric his choice of apparel, which met with his approval. Yet, there was always something Kevin discovered that wasn't to his liking. The belt didn't match, the socks were the wrong color, the collar on the shirt was too tight (even though it was unbuttoned)...it seemed to go on and on. Once more, he came downstairs, wearing a blue silk shirt and black pants. He held out his arms and turned around, showing off for his roommate.
"Looks good." Eric was sitting at the kitchen table, holding his head up with his left hand. 'If he wants to change clothes one more time, I swear to God, I'm gonna scream,' he thought to himself.
Kevin looked down at himself and scowled. "He said to dress nice...maybe I should wear a tie...." his voice trailed off as he turned to go back to the stairs.
"Arrrrrghhh!! Kevin! You look fine!" Eric got up from the table and walked into the living room. "Jesus Christ, son, you'd swear you'd never gone out on a date before!"
"Well, I just want to look nice for him..."
"Kev, you do look nice. The shirt looks nice. The pants look nice. Your socks match. The belt is fine. Your shoes are all nice and shiny. I bet you're even wearing clean boxers. Now, for the love of God...stop it!"
"Okay, okay. Uh...I'm gonna go brush my teeth again...maybe put on some cologne. Wait, I did that already."
Shaking his head and sighing, Eric rubbed his eyes. "We're a little nervous?"
"I'm a little nervous," Kevin replied, nodding his head up and down quickly.
"Kev, look. Just relax, okay? How many times have you gone out on a first date?"
"Uh...lots?" It was more of a question than an answer.
"Right. And they all turned out pretty well, right?"
"Well, for the most part, yeah."
"Okay then. This time will be no different. Just take a deep breath and calm down. He puts his pants on just like the rest of us. You look fine, and you're gonna have a great time."
"Yeah...yeah, you're right. But I think I do want to brush my teeth again." With that, he bounded up the stairs, causing Eric to roll his eyes and groan. "This is going to be one hell of a night," he muttered to himself. He was about to go upstairs and tell Kevin to just take some mints with him, when the doorbell rang.
"I'll get it! It's him! He's early! Oh shit!!"
Kevin came rushing down the stairs, nearly running over his roommate in the process. He slid to a stop in front of the door, and paused. Taking a deep breath he opened it up, and with a broad smile, was greeted by the appearance of.....
Gina. One of their next door neighbors.
"Hi Kevin! Wow, don't you look nice? What's the occasion?"
Kevin's face fell and his eyes grew wide at the sight of their unexpected company. Gina Dawson and Sarah Adams were the same age as Kevin and Eric, and were known to come over and party or just hang out with the guys once and awhile. Kevin and Gina had also messed around, in a friendly sort of way, once upon a time, but that was before the whole Kris experience. They knew Kevin went both ways, and had no problem with it.
"Uhm...hey Gina. How's it going?"
The pretty blonde smiled. "Oh, not much. Sarah went home for the weekend, and I thought we could all hang out together. But it looks like you've already got plans....who is it? Anyone I know?"
"No! Uh...no, it's not like that. See, there's....there's a dinner a need to go to tonight for the....for the...honors club in history! Yeah, the honors society."
Gina wrinkled her brow. "I didn't know you belonged to Phi Alpha Theta."
Kevin laughed nervously. "Yeah, well, you know me. You know how I like to keep secrets. But, hey! You know, Eric is free tonight!" Turning to look over his shoulder he saw his roommate looking at him and shaking his head "no" somewhat vigorously. It wasn't that he didn't like Gina, but all Eric wanted to do was change into his sweats and vegetate in front of the television tonight. It had been a long day, after all.
"Eric, look who's here! It's Gina!"
"Hi Gina," Eric gave a halfhearted wave.
"Hey Eric. So, can I come in Kevin?"
"Uhh...." Kevin turned once again to his roommate, with a look on his face that said "Help!" The last thing he wanted was to create a small riot. Gina was a sweet girl and all, but if she knew that one of the guys from N'Sync was coming over to take Kevin out....well, they very well may never get out of the house.
Eric ran his hand through his hair and sighed. "Hey Gina, wanna go grab something to eat, maybe catch a movie?"
"Yeah, that sounds good. When do you want to go?"
Looking over at Kevin, who was now silently pleading with his best friend, Eric began walking over to the door. "No time like the present, right?" He took his keys out of his pocket. "I'll drive, come on."
"Okay, let me run back and get my purse and lock up."
Gina went back to the townhouse adjacent to Kevin and Eric's. Turning to face his friend, Kevin breathed a sigh of relief. "Thanks man....I owe you one. The last thing I wanted was her to see me with Lance. Well, at least not right now anyway."
"Yeah, yeah. You're damn skippy you owe me too! I was kinda looking forward to being a couch potato tonight." Peeking outside, Eric saw that Gina was locking up. He leaned over to Kevin and whispered. "Remember....just relax. Be yourself. And have a great time, okay? I expect to hear details. You can leave out any parts that involve snugglebunnies though."
Kevin chuckled. "Will do. I don't wanna give you any more jack off fantasies."
Shaking his head and laughing, Eric walked outside. "So, Miss Gina...what're you in the mood for..."
Kevin closed the door, turned around, and leaned against it. He sighed and looked up. "That was close. Okay, I still have some time. Stay cool, Douglas. Damn, maybe I do need to brush my teeth one last time...."
Seven o'clock came, and right on time, Lance pulled up. He kept his sunglasses on, not so much to protect his eyes from the waning sun, but to stay in disguise. To that end, his normally spiky hair was straightened out a little. He looked at his reflection in the window of his truck. He had changed his outfit a couple of times before finally deciding on the maroon shirt and gray pants. He hoped that he looked okay.
Walking up the door, he rang the bell, and while waiting for an answer, looked around cautiously. Fortunately, the complex still seemed quiet. He looked back at the door as he heard someone running from inside.
Kevin heard the doorbell from the upstairs bathroom, where he was fixing his hair one last time. Flipping off the light, he ran down the stairs once again. "I really hope this isn't another neighbor," he prayed out loud. Opening the door, he discovered that it wasn't a neighbor. It was, indeed, Lance Bass.
"Hi Kevin. Wow, you look great!" Lance said with a smile.
"Hi! You're looking pretty good yourself!"
Lance's face grew puzzled. "Why are you out of breath?"
"Oh, no reason."
They looked at each other and smiled for a moment. Finally, Lance broke the silence. "So...ready to go?"
Nodding, Kevin stepped outside and locked the door behind him, then followed Lance over to his vehicle. They pulled out of the lot and made their way to state road six, which would in turn take them to I-55, and then on to Memphis.
"So, what did you plan for this evening?" Kevin asked.
Lance took off his glasses and adjusted his rear view mirror. "Well, I thought I'd take you out to dinner first. Do you like Italian?"
"I love Italian. Then again, I love most food."
"Good," Lance replied with a laugh. "After that, I figured that maybe we could head over to Beale Street or something. We'll have to be kind of careful though. I'd rather not attract too much attention to ourselves. I can just see the headlines now....'N'Sync Member Seen On First Date With Hottie From Ole Miss; Thousands of Teenage Girls Heartbroken'....wouldn't want that to happen, now would we?"
Kevin laughed right along. "So, I'm a hottie, am I?"
Lance just smiled and hummed a little, keeping his eyes on the traffic in front of him.
"So what do we do if you are recognized?" Kevin wanted to know.
"Well, hopefully that won't happen. I'm hoping that with finals approaching for just about everybody, the crowds will be kind of small, and I picked out a restaurant that's tucked away, so we shouldn't be bothered there. If someone does come up to us, just introduce yourself and say that you're interviewing for a spot with FreeLance."
"You mentioned that before. What is it?"
"It's a management company I own. I'm going to scout out new talent and try and get them a record deal, either with an established label or maybe even my own. Keeps me occupied on those long, lonely nights."
Kevin laughed. "And you said I have a full plate. Between touring and this management thing, no wonder you haven't found time to date."
"I can always make time Kevin. But like I said before, I just haven't found the right guy yet."
The two young men made small talk the rest of the drive. Kevin told Lance about some of his courses, and the topic of the paper he had finished earlier that afternoon, while Lance went into a little more detail about life on the road. Finally, they had arrived in Germantown, a suburb of Memphis. The directions Justin had given him were perfect, and the restaurant was easy to find, as it wasn't too far off of the Interstate. Pulling into a parking space, Lance looked over at the clock on the dashboard.
"8:05....not bad, not bad at all. We have reservations for 8:15, so I'd say we made pretty good time."
Kevin, meanwhile, was impressed with their choice of eatery for the evening.
"Wow...how did you know about this place? I think we're the youngest ones here!"
"Justin takes Brittney here. It comes highly recommended."
"Brittney?"
"Yeah. Brittney Spears."
"Who?"
"Never mind, I'll tell you over dinner. Boy, Eric was right about you." Lance laughed as he and his date walked inside.
So far, the evening was perfect. Kevin's assumption that they were the youngest patrons in the restaurant was correct. The service was prompt and friendly, and the food was superb. They made only small talk during the course of the meal, but as desert was served with their coffee, Lance decided to probe a little into Kevin's future.
"So what do you plan on doing with your major?"
"Well," Kevin started, as he took a forkful of cheesecake, "the majority of people who major in history go into teaching. I thought about that one for awhile, then decided against it."
"Why?" Lance asked, as he dug his spoon into his gelato.
"For one thing, I don't think I'm disciplined enough. Look how long it took me to finish that paper. Hell, I knew about it all semester. Secondly, I know what I was like in high school....I don't think I want to put up with that."
"A little hellraiser, huh?"
"Well, I wouldn't say that exactly. I mean, I wasn't an angel by any means, but I wasn't on my way to juvenile hall either. So, that kind of leaves me stuck. I could try museum work, maybe a library position. Or, I could just live off of the money I get from the family and write, or travel. Hell, I really don't know."
"What about your music?"
"I love my music. I love to sing and play. But I can't write a song worth shit. I guess I don't have that particular talent."
Lance nodded and took a sip of his coffee.
Kevin put down his fork before continuing. "Actually, I've been thinking about taking next year off. You know, wander around a bit, try and figure out what I want to be when I grow up."
"What does Eric think?"
"I haven't told him. I figure if I did he'd flip out and convince me to just finish up and get it over with. I only have one year left anyway."
"Have you thought about auditioning for a company like mine?"
Kevin looked up from his plate slowly. "Are you trying to tell me something?"
Lance grinned. "Well, no, not yet. Let me put it this way. I'm not going to try and tell you what to do with school one way or the other. But, if you do decide to take some time off, I think that maybe you should look into doing something with music. You have a great singing voice, and you play the guitar really well. You've got great talent, Kev."
"Speaking of talent, why is it you never get a solo?"
"Been doing some research on me, huh?" Lance laughed.
"Well, yeah, kinda," Kevin replied with a sheepish grin.
Lance shrugged. "It's not in the cards, I guess. I have my role with the group, and I'm happy with it."
"But why? Talk about a great voice...geez, Lance, maybe you should sign yourself to your company."
Lance laughed again and shook his head. "Nah, that's okay." Reaching over for the check, he looked at the total, and pulled out his wallet. Then, motioning for a waiter, he handed over his credit card, and waited for the transaction to take place.
"Tell you what, why don't we stop talking shop for the rest of the evening and just have fun?"
"Sounds good to me." Kevin finished off his coffee. "Thank you for dinner."
"You're very welcome." Signing the credit slip and taking his copy, Lance stood up. "Ready to hit Beale?"
As it turned out, Lance's assumption that Beale Street would not be too packed was somewhat correct. True, there were plenty of people walking around, stopping in various music clubs, bars, and eateries, but it was a more of an older crowd than one might expect. College students in Memphis, it seemed, were occupied with other endeavors this night.
As they walked along and talked with one another, they came across a tattoo parlor. Kevin glanced over to see if anyone was inside, simply out of curiosity.
"Thinking of getting another one?" Lance asked.
"Nah...just looking, that's all."
"I have a couple of small ones myself. Nothing fancy, on my ankles. Yours is pretty detailed for its size. Why did you choose an eagle? Any special significance?"
Kevin looked over at Lance and smiled. Then, closing his eyes, he began to recite from memory: "They that hope in the Lord will renew their strength, they will soar as with eagles' wings; they will run and not grow weary, walk and not grow faint."
Lance thought for a moment. "The Book of Isaiah, right?"
"You got it."
"Wow, I'm impressed."
"Don't be too impressed now. I'm not exactly a really big religious person. But, I do believe that there's somebody out there watching us. My grandmother back in Kentucky on the other hand.... well, let's just say she was the original holy-roller. What I didn't pick up in church I did from her. I've always liked that passage, not so much because of the biblical message, but more so because I've always liked eagles."
"Very cool."
Walking along a little further, they noticed a crowd gathered outside one of the clubs, and decided to see why it seemed to be so popular. As it turned out, this particular establishment was sponsoring an amateur night, where patrons could perform a song or two on stage with the band.
"Wanna see what this is all about?" Lance asked.
"Sure, why not. If anything, it might be good for a couple of laughs."
They waited in line for a couple of minutes and then squeezed their way in, after Lance had paid the cover charge. As they entered, another couple was leaving, and their table, located fairly close to the stage, became available.
"Go grab it, and I'll get us some drinks," Lance shouted above the din, while pointing to the spot. Kevin nodded and walked over, as Lance made his way to the bar. It dawned on him, almost too late, that he wasn't quite twenty-one yet, but the bartender paid little attention. While waiting on his order, he turned slightly and scanned the crowd, grateful that apparently nobody knew who he was. Then again, this wasn't exactly a cross-section of N'Sync's usual fan base, which probably had something to do with it. He spotted Kevin, who had claimed their table, saw a young woman on the small stage attempting to make her way through a John Lennon song (and the band playing along nonetheless).....and then saw a tall, rather thin young man accompanied by a shorter, somewhat plump young woman come into the club. It wasn't until they started to make their way towards Kevin that he realized who the man was, and who the woman must be.
"Aw no....shit," he said to himself. Plopping down some money on the bar, he took the two beer bottles, and decided he had to get back to Kevin first, and warn him.
'Okay, this is gonna be interesting....me and about a hundred and fifty of my closest friends....guess I gotta play Mission Impossible here,' he thought to himself. Lance began to walk in the opposite direction from which he had approached the bar, maneuvering through the crowd, and walking as quickly as he could. He came towards the table from the left of Kevin, and saw that the couple was still headed their way.
"Hey," he shouted, "how about we go by the bar instead?"
"Nah, this is okay. Besides, we staked our claim...I feel like we earned these seats now," Kevin replied in a loud voice.
Just then, from Kevin's right, an all too familiar voice was heard, loud enough for Kevin and Lance to hear it.
"Kevin....hi....long time no see."
It took a couple of seconds for Kevin's brain to register the exact origin of that voice, and when it did, he froze, his eyes wide. Lance grimaced, and was about to try once again to get Kevin to move, but it was too late. His date slowly turned in his seat towards his right, towards the way he had come in, and was face to face with Kris Anderson. The same Kris that he had told Lance about just that morning. The same Kris that he had given his love to, only to have his heart broken in return.
Kris stood there with a hopeful expression on his face. "So...uh...how have you been?"
"Fine and dandy," Kevin replied through clenched teeth. "In fact, I can't remember when I've been better....especially these past six or seven months."
Lance's eyes darted back and forth from his date to his date's ex-boyfriend, and then he took a rather long drink from one of the beers in his hand. 'Yeah, this is pleasant,' he thought to himself.
"So...Kevin...I want you to meet someone. This is my wife, Jill. Jill...this is Kevin Douglas. We...uh...had some classes together."
Jill reached out to shake Kevin's hand, which he did quickly and halfheartedly.
Lance, meanwhile, had finished one of the beers, and was starting to drink from the other one.
As if the situation could not become any more tense, the table immediately next to the one Kevin was sitting at became open, as the occupants apparently decided that amateur night was not all it was cracked up to be. Jill Anderson, seizing the moment, immediately sat down. "Here, honey, perfect timing! We found a seat really fast, and right by your friend, too!"
When she referred to Kevin as a friend of Kris', Lance about choked on the beer he was drinking, and that's when he decided that maybe he had better sit down. Kevin turned back to face his friend, and took one of the bottles from him, and noticed it was empty. Then, he took the other one from Lance, and saw that it was half-empty. With a confused look on his face, he looked at Lance, who shrugged.
"I was trying to warn you. Sorry."
Kevin leaned in towards his date. "And apparently this shook you up some too. Don't sweat it, okay?"
"You sure you don't want to move?"
"The club is big enough for the both of us. Fuck him."
Kris leaned in back of his wife. "Hey, Kevin...who's your friend?"
Kevin turned back around and was about to tell his former lover to mind his own business, when Lance spoke up.
"The name's Bass. James Bass. Maybe you've heard of me. I'm a member of N'Sync..and I'm a good friend of Kevin's here." Good for you, Kevin. If you can keep your cool, so can I.
"Honey! You didn't tell me that you knew someone who knew someone who was in N'Sync!!" Jill was apparently impressed. So was Kris for that matter, but he instead turned a little red, not only from the reaction of his wife, but also because Kevin was apparently moving up in the world.
"That's right. James...or Lance here...is...uh....scouting me for his management company, FreeLance. I might sign a record deal with him," Kevin said, wanting to rub it in just a little. This, of course, was not entirely the case, yet it was the explanation Lance had suggested, so what the hell.
"Wow, that's really great Kevin." Kris was starting to feel a little jealous. He married Jill and gave up the chance to be with someone who was possibly going to make a career in music?
"Yeah. In fact, that's why we came to amateur night. I might perform later on."
"You are?" Kris asked.
"You are!" Jill exclaimed.
"You are?!" Lance said, almost choking once more on what was left of his beer. He said it just loud enough for Kevin to hear him, however. What was an uncomfortable situation was taking a rather odd turn.
Kevin just nodded and smiled, then turned his attention back to the stage, where a young man was mauling his way through Bob Marley. He didn't really plan on performing, this was true, but if he could rub it in Kris' face a little more, so be it. Still, he had opened his mouth.
The foursome sat in silence, listening to a variety of people coming up to the stage, telling the band what they wanted to sing, and then making their way through their song. Some were decent, others probably needed to stick to singing in the shower only. As they sat and watched, Kevin's mood soured somewhat.
'Dammit. He comes over here and acts like we left everything on great terms. He has a hell of a lot of nerve. Then he goes out of his way to introduce his wife....yeah, she's a looker.'
He snorted and laughed to himself, attracting Lance's attention, but Kevin waved it off. After a couple of minutes, he looked over at his date, and noticed that he was absent mindedly playing with a sliver cross on the chain around his neck.
'That's kind of odd...don't see too many guys in the south wearing a cross on their chains. At least I haven't. 'Course, I guess I need to get out more.'
Then, as if struck with inspiration, Kevin sat up straight. "Wait a minute," he said softly. "Southern guys....cross....oh shit, this is gonna be fucking great!" Grinning, he turned to Lance and nudged him. "I want to go up and sing," he said.
"Okay. You sure?"
"Oh, yeah. Positive."
When the current performer was through, and accepted their polite applause, Kevin jumped up from his seat and made his way to the stage. He spoke with one of the band members, who nodded when he heard Kevin's request Then, stepping up onto the stage, and borrowing an acoustic guitar, he stepped up to the microphone.
"Hey, how's everyone doing tonight?"
The crowd reacted mildly. Kevin's predecessors on stage weren't exactly all that worthy of excitement.
"My name's Kevin...and, uh....well, I guess the song I've got for you tonight is about...moving on." He looked Kris in the eye when he said this, and then turned to Lance and winked.
"One, two, three, four..."
Kevin began to play, the band accompanying him, and then sang:
Got out of town on a boat Going to Southern islands Sailing a reach Before a following sea.
She was making for the trades On the outside And the downhill run To Papeete.
Off the wind on this heading Lie the Marquesas We got eighty feet of waterline Nicely making way.
In a noisy bar in Avalon I tried to call you But on a midnight watch I realized Why twice you ran away.
Think about how many times I have fallen Spirits are using me, larger voices calling What heaven brought you and me cannot be forgotten.
I have been around the world Looking for that woman/girl Who knows love can endure And you know it will.
When you see the Southern Cross for the first time You understand now why you came this way.
'Cause the truth you might be running from is so small But it's as big as the promise, The promise of a comin' day.
So I'm sailing for tomorrow My dreams are a'dying And my love is an anchor tied to you Tied with a silver chain,
I have my ship, and all her flags are a'flying She is all that I have left And music is her name.
Think about how many times I have fallen Spirits are using me, larger voices callin' What heaven brought you and me Cannot be forgotten
I have been around the world Looking for that woman/girl Who knows love can endure And you know it will...and you know it will.
Kevin went into a long instrumental solo at this point, bridging up to the final verse of the song, which he decided at the last minute to change just slightly. As he sang it, he looked directly at Kris:
So we cheated and we lied and we tested And we never failed to fail It was the easiest thing to do. I will survive being bested 'Cause somebody fine has come along To make me forget about loving you... At the Southern Cross.(1)
The crowd was silent for a moment, then broke out into enthusiastic cheering. Kevin was by far the best performer of the night. He grinned somewhat shyly and waved, seeing Lance clapping and smiling broadly. He was about to step down when the bandleader stopped him and whispered in his ear. They spoke for a few minutes, but it was clear that they wanted him to sing some more (after all, why give up a good thing?).
So, Kevin stayed on, singing a couple of songs by artists like Jimmy Buffet and James Taylor, mellow songs that showed off his guitar skills. After finishing a rendition of "Carolina On My Mind," he noticed that Kris was not in a very good mood, if the scowl on his face was any judge. Deciding that one last straw was needed, he spoke into the microphone once more.
"I think I'm gonna do one last one, and maybe liven things up a little bit." Then, looking at Lance, he continued. "But I think I'm going to need a little help with this one..."
Lance shook his head "no" quickly, but Kevin was now walking towards him, having come off the stage.
"Please, Lance? Just one song? Please? I won't make you do my dishes..." Kevin grinned.
Lance laughed and sighed. "Alright...one song. What do you want to sing?"
Back on stage, Kevin quickly conferred with the band, and then turned once more to his audience, after switching to an electric guitar.
"Ladies and gentlemen, Lance Bass!"
Lance waved and smiled, as the crowd cheered, some recognizing him now that he had been introduced, most not knowing who he was. He had another mike in his hand.
And then, Kevin began to play, and from the first notes, the crowd began to go wild as they recognized the tune. As per their hasty arrangement, Kevin took the first verse:
In the day we sweat it out on the streets of a runaway American dream At night we ride through mansions of glory on suicide machines Sprung from cages out on Highway 9 Chrome wheeled, fuel injected and steppin' out over the line Baby this town rips the bones from your back It's a death trap, it's a suicide rap We gotta get out while we're young 'Cause tramps like us, baby we were born to run.
Then, Lance took the second verse:
Wendy let me in I wanna be your friend I want to guard your dreams and visions Just wrap your legs 'round these velvet rims And strap your hands across my engines Together we could break this trap We'll run till we drop, baby we'll never go back Will you walk with me out on the wire 'Cause baby I'm just a scared and lonely rider But I gotta know how it feels I want to know if your love is wild Girl I want to know if love is real
Kevin walked the stage, owning it, as he worked his fingers across the chords. Lance grinned from ear to ear - he was happy, Kevin was happy, and they were having fun. All in all, this was turning out to be one interesting first date. Then, Kevin went back to the mike:
Beyond the palace hemi-powered drones scream down the boulevard Girls comb their hair in rearview mirrors And the boys try to look so hard.
Then, Lance brought his mike up and took the rest of the verse:
The amusement park rises bold and stark Kids are huddled on the beach in a mist I wanna die with you Wendy on the streets tonight In an everlasting kiss.
The last instrumental was played, with Kevin building up to the conclusion of the song, standing next to the saxophone player and jamming along with him. Then, he walked to the front of the stage next to Lance. They looked at each other and grinned, and sang in unison into their respective microphones: "One, two three, four!"
The highway's jammed with broken heroes On a last chance power drive Everybody's out on the run tonight But there's no place left to hide Together Wendy we can live with the sadness I'll love you with all the madness in my soul Someday girl I don't know when We're gonna get to that place Where we really want to go And we'll walk in the sun But 'till then tramps like us, Baby we were born to run. Oh honey, tramps like us, Baby we were born to run. Come on Wendy, tramps like us, Baby we were born to run!(2)
The crowd came to their feet, pumped up, screaming and cheering. Kevin noticed that Kris had apparently left sometime during the performance of the classic Springsteen tune. Lance, meanwhile, realized the point of the song they had just done, and of the first one Kevin had performed. First, it was a message, that he was indeed getting beyond the events of the past. And, "Born to Run" was perhaps sung to each other, if not the crowd, as if to say...let's take that chance...with each other.
As the audience continued cheering, Kevin took off the guitar and gave it back to one of the band members, and shook his hand. Then, he walked back over to Lance and wrapped an arm around his shoulders and pulled him in tight, giving him a friendly squeeze. Leaning over, he whispered in his ear, "Thank you so much...this was great!"
"You're welcome....although I hardly qualify as an amateur anymore these days. I think we broke a rule or something!" Lance whispered back.
Walking off the stage together, they shook hands with members of the crowd, Lance quickly signing a few autographs along the way. It took a good fifteen minutes before they reached the exit and went outside.
Kevin turned to Lance with a huge grin on his face.
"What?" Lance asked.
"Whooo!" Kevin pumped his fist in the air and jumped a little bit. "That was awesome!"
"I'm glad you had fun," Lance laughed.
"You know something? The fact that he was in there bugged me for a little bit...but when I got up on stage, it was like, I don't know...he didn't exist anymore or something. It's like that invisible force I was talking about before got pushed down by the music."
They walked along towards the parking garage as they spoke to one another.
"So, the music cured you?" Lance wanted to know.
"Well, I don't know about being cured...but I suppose there's only one way to find out."
"Oh, really? And just what would that be, Mr. Douglas?"
"Ah, ah...patience, Mr. Bass. You'll find out in due time," Kevin replied with a smirk.
"What made you sing that first song?"
"Southern Cross?"
"Yeah."
"You did."
"Me?" Lance asked, a little confused.
"Yeah, you. I saw you playing with the cross on your chain. And, you're from the south...and you're fine, and you came along to make me forget about loving him."
Lance chuckled. "Very clever."
They made their way back to the garage and took the elevator up to the floor where Lance had parked. Then, getting in the 4-Runner, began the drive back to Oxford.
"Want to come inside for awhile?"
It was an easy drive back. The clock on Lance's dashboard now read a quarter past one.
"Gee, aren't your parents home? They might not approve," Lance said, trying to be serious.
"Will you come on," Kevin laughed as he got out of the car. "Bass....James Bass. Next thing you know, you're going to tell me your special number is 007."
"Hey, I was trying to be snobby towards him. Guess it worked, huh?"
They walked inside quietly, as Eric was asleep upstairs. His car was parked outside, and no lights were on, so it was a pretty safe bet that Kevin's roommate was in bed. Turning on a light in the living room, Kevin turned to face Lance.
"I had a good time tonight. Kinda weird for a first date, but in all, it was fun."
"I'm glad you did," Lance replied, trying to stifle a yawn.
"Sleepy?"
"Mmmm-hmmm. All the driving is catching up to me I think. I better hit the road....unless, you wouldn't mind if I crash on the couch again."
"Well, you could do that. But you know, I have a bed upstairs that's big enough for two people... and it's a lot more comfortable than the couch."
"Why, Mr. Douglas. Are you trying to seduce me?" Lance asked with a smile.
"Nah. I'm just trying to get you to sleep with me."
They looked at each other and laughed. Then, Kevin reached out his hand, taking Lance's into it, and gently pulled him close. His stomach began to twist and turn, as if a rollercoaster had mysteriously been transplanted inside of him. A familiar feeling began to develop, and started to rise. This time, however, a new feeling was inside to meet it.
He looked at Lance with total seriousness. "I mean it Lance. I would love it if you slept with me. Nothing more than that. At least not yet. Please?"
Lance looked up at Kevin with those beautiful eyes, and nodded his head. "Okay," he said softly.
Inside of Kevin, the fear rose...and ran head on into a renewed sense of bravery. The Kevin of the past seven months was now just that, a thing of the past. It was a Kevin Douglas that was, nevertheless, and important part of what made him who he was, but it was also someone younger, more foolhardy, perhaps. The new Kevin that was slowly starting to emerge was still willing to take a chance, but only ever so slowly, and only if he knew he could trust somebody completely. And here in front of him, was someone who not only could be trusted, but was willing to help the new Kevin down a familiar, if different, path.
"Before we go upstairs, there's just one last thing that would make this night a total success," Lance said.
"What's that?"
"Dance with me." Lance let go of Kevin's hand and went over to the CD's stacked next to the stereo. Finding the appropriate one, he put it in and forwarded to the song he wanted. Kevin, meanwhile, had turned the lamp off, so only pale moonlight streamed into the room. As the song began, Lance walked back over to Kevin and wrapped his arms around his waist, and leaned on his chest. Kevin clasped his hands behind Lance's back, and gently put his head on top of his companions as the music softly embraced them, and they slowly moved back and forth:
I have no words to say to you, I have no dreams to take you to, I have no ring for you to kiss, Baby all I have is this.
Pray for grace. Keep the faith. Walk on down the road, wait for me, Look for love.
Are you fearless? Reckless? Homeless and all alone? Can you make love heal things? Make my heart go wild again?
I have no words to say to you, I have no dreams to take you to, I have no ring for you to kiss, Baby all I have is this. I have no weight to hold you now. I have no time to show you how. I have no gold, nothing to risk. Baby, all I have is this.
As the song continued, Kevin lifted his head up. "You know what?" he said softly.
"What's that?" Lance answered.
"I think I'm ready to see if the cure is starting to work..."
Lance looked up as Kevin removed his hands from behind his back.
He nodded.
Kevin then brought up his hands and gently held Lance's head. He brushed his right thumb softly over his left cheek, and then leaned down. He rubbed his nose across Lance's, causing them both to smile. Then, their lips met delicately and parted. Lance wrapped his arms around Kevin's neck, and he moaned softly as their tongues touched each other. They were both drawn into a whole new world with each other. And the song played on:
I have no words to say to you, I have no dreams to take you to, I have ring for you to kiss, Baby all I have is this.
I have no weight to hold you now, I have no time to show you how, I have no gold, nothing to risk, Baby all I have is this.
All I have is on my sleeve, All I want is your sweet love baby, All I sold was open space. Walk down the road fearless....fearless. All I have is this...(3)
They broke the kiss, their hearts beating quickly, their breath rapid. Kevin looked down at Lance and smiled.
As Lance smiled back, he finally realized what Kevin had been talking about earlier that day. He had finally experienced the kiss.
"Come on," Kevin whispered, "let's go upstairs and get some sleep."
Pausing only to turn off the stereo, Kevin once more reached out his hand to lead Lance upstairs. They went quietly, so as not to wake Eric, and closed the bedroom door behind them. Once inside, Kevin began to unbutton his shirt, but Lance stopped him.
"Here, let me"
He slowly undid each button, and then parted the silk shirt. Reaching in, he rubbed Kevin's muscular chest, feeling each curve and ridge, causing him to sigh. He pushed the shirt back, and then off, and leaned forward, kissing his right pec, then his left.
"Lance?"
"What?"
"That feels really good...it does. But I meant what I said, I want to go slow here. Baby steps, remember? Let's take one thing at a time."
Looking up, Lance smiled. "Okay."
Kevin smiled back as Lance undid his own shirt and took it off, once again admiring the frame that was smaller than his own, yet lean and muscled nonetheless. In unison, they unbuckled their pants and let them drop to the floor. Lance sat on the bed to remove his shoes and socks, then pull his pants off all the way, while Kevin did the same as he stood, balancing himself on the night stand.
Lance looked up at his new love interest clad only in his boxers, and scanned his body. His eyes glanced down at Kevin's crotch, and they went wide for a moment.
"Uhm...did I excite you that much?" he asked. Kevin was apparently becoming aroused.
"Huh?" Kevin looked down. "I'm not getting hard. Why?"
"You mean...oh my God...Kevin, you're huge! You're soft?" Lance could hardly believe what he was seeing.
Kevin, meanwhile had begun to blush a little. "Uh...yeah. He's asleep right now." He figured that at some point they were going to see each other naked, but he forgot that when in a flaccid state, his penis was still rather impressive.
"How um...I mean...how big...?" Lance was trying to ask the inevitable.
Sighing, Kevin sat on the bed next to his friend. "Well, I guess we were going to have to jump off this bridge at some point anyway. Might as well get it out in the open now, so you don't scream and go running off when you see him for the first time. When he's...happy...he measures in at just under ten inches."
"Holy shit!"
"Shhh! You'll wake up Eric!"
"Sorry," Lance said more quietly. "How do you...I mean...how would we...that is..."
"Lance, listen. Don't worry about it right now, okay? We'll get there when we get there. And when we do, we'll have fun. Baby steps. It's gonna take me a little while to get to the point where we can have big fun, so to speak. Okay?"
"Okay," Lance nodded. Then, he leaned over to Kevin and kissed him again, bringing his hand up to run his fingers through his hair. Kevin stroked Lance's back at the same time, as they explored each other's mouths with their tongues gently, yet firmly. Slowly, they laid back on the bed, never breaking the kiss. They continued to make out for a few minutes, stroking each other's arms, backs, and chests, being careful not to venture too far beyond. Finally, Lance had to break the kiss, and turned his head, covering his mouth as he yawned again.
"I'm sorry," he said with a sheepish grin. "I guess I really am getting tired now."
Nodding, Kevin reached over and turned off the light. "Lay on your side."
Lance rolled to his right, adjusting the pillow under his head. Kevin then curled behind him, wrapping his arm around Lance and pulling him in closely. He stroked his chest using his left hand, and came to a stop over Lance's heart.
"All we have is this..."
Then, he kissed Lance on the back of his neck.
"Good night, Lance," he whispered.
"Night, Kev."
And for the first time in several months, both Kevin Douglas and Lance Bass fell asleep feeling content and safe, and with smiles on their faces.
End of Chapter Five
(1) "Southern Cross," written by Stephen Stills, Richard Curtis, and Michael Curtis; performed by Crosby, Stills, and Nash; copyright Gold Hill Music, Inc., 1982.
(2) "Born to Run," written by Bruce Springsteen; performed by Bruce Springsteen and the E Street Band; copyright Columbia Music, 1974.
(3) Excerpts from "This," written by Marc Jordan and John Capek; performed by Rod Stewart; copyright WB Music Corporation, 1995.