**If you don't mind reading about gay sex between characters that don't intentionally resemble anyone in real life and if it is safe for you to do so in your area then please enjoy!! Also, your feedback at Heavensforlife@aol.com is greatly appreciated. **
Me and My Boys
Chapter One
My name is Mike and I'm a writer. I'm also an English professor at NYU. I'm 6' even with a swimmer's build I built up in college and have kept until now. There are a couple of other things I've held on to for the four years since I myself graduated from NYU. I've held on to the handful of Millennium glitter I picked up in time square; an old t-shirt that my ex-boyfriend left in my apartment when he went back to France; my position as a columnist at the NYU student newspaper; and my three best friends Charles, Tanner and Beau.
On this particular day, a fall Sunday a week before school was starting and a day before orientation, I was sitting at a small restaurant on Madison waiting for these three guys to meet me for our weekly brunches. I'd already ordered my first mimosa and was sipping it as I waited for them to show up.
Tanner was the first to make his way to Anaria's Bakery.
"Hey, babe," he said giving me a peck on the cheek and sitting across from me, his standard spot. You'd think after dating for two years off and on, Tanner and I would be awkward around each other, but that wasn't the case at all. We were best friends even within our group and there was no denying it- I was going to serve as the best man at his commitment ceremony to his fiancé Frank in November. I loved the guy, just not that way... anymore. He was tall, about two inches taller than me, and had slim dark features that still made me think of him in that way every once in a while- keyword, once in a while.
"Hey, Tanner," I said as he sat. "How's it going?"
He reached across the table to grab my glass as he motioned for the waiter to come take his drink order. He mumbled something incoherent under his breath.
"Whoa, babe," I said. "Long night?"
"Not really," he replied. "Crazy night. Frank got a call from his mother last night and he was up until four a.m. talking to her. After they were done talking, I had to stay up and listen to him vent for an hour and half. I didn't get to be until almost six."
"Wow that sucks," I said. My comment went unnoticed. Tanner was ordering a very strong Sea Breeze from the cute aspiring actor. "Wow there killer, take it easy, will ya?"
"Mikey," he began. "You don't understand. His dad is threatening not to come to the ceremony anymore. Do you know what that would do to Frank? I mean, his parents claim that they're cool with the gay thing, but the marriage thing is way too much for them. What kind of shit is that?"
I didn't notice, but Charles had come to the table as Tanner was finishing his speech. Even just standing there, Charles oozed money and sex. He was the oldest of the four of us and by far the most successful. In the time we'd graduated, he'd gone into investment banking and although he worked 80 hours a week, he always made time for late nights at the trendiest clubs, fun filled weekends and designer clothes. On this particular afternoon, he was wearing lower than low rise jeans and two tank tops- black and white- in the most stylish manner. He took off his Fendi glasses and cleared his throat.
"What wound are we patching this time?" he said in the slightly condescending way he did. It made us love him. And then without missing a beat, he yelled across the bakery's outdoor eating place: "Cutie, can I get a vodka on the rocks, here? Thanks."
The waiter gave him a dirty look but went inside to get both of their drinks nonetheless.
"So good of you to join us, Sir Charles," I said.
"You know how I love to be the last to arrive," he replied. "Speaking of which, where is Beau anyway?"
Tanner and I responded at the same time, laughing:
"With Becket!"
"Probably with that tart."
Our last friend Beau, the actor, had recently started dating the "love of his life" Becket. Becket was a dancer in the show Beau was working on and was the most abrasive, obnoxious and loud gay man I'd ever met. His laugh could make your blood curl and the one time I'd been suckered into going to karaoke with them, I seriously considered cutting my ears off and eating them.
"Wow," Charles said just as the waiter brought down the two drinks. I motioned for a refill. "How do you two really feel?"
"What'd I miss," Beau said, rushing to the table and into the conversation. He sat down quickly and took a huge a swig from the water glasses that were already set down.
"Where are you coming from?" I asked. These guys were my posse. The debonair Charles, the dramatic Beau and the analytical Tanner. We were a staple. We were an institution in Manhattan even if it was only in our own little world.
"Ok guys," Beau began, knowing we were all (with the exception of probably Charles) dying to know what had him so late and so frazzled. "You know how I've been seeing Becket."
"We had no idea," Charles said sarcastically. I suppressed a smile.
"Anyway, rudeness," Beau continued. "We were doing it last night."
"You were having sex, Beau," I exclaimed. People using euphemisms for sex was one of my pet peeves. "You were fucking. You were having fucking sex."
"Jesus, Mike," Tanner said. "There are children around."
Borrowing my favorite line from any Sex and the City episode, I said "That's their choice," and gave Beau the look to continue his story.
"So I'm fucking him, right and I totally think he's totally into it. We'd been going for like 2 hours," he said before Tanner interrupted.
"Two hours? Jesus."
"Yes, some people go for the distance, Tanner, unlike you and Frankay, Franko," Charles joked. "Speaking of which, how is the speech therapist doing these days?"
"He's a litigator, asshole," Tanner retorted. "We met in law school in case you forgot. And he doesn't have a stutter."
"Of, of, of course he doesn't," I joked. Everyone laughed.
"Well yeah," Beau continued. "I thought I was totally doing a good job and he so got into it. And then I came."
"I'm waiting for the problem here," Charles said.
"And then he was done. He didn't give me the chance to do anything to him. I cum and he rolls over," he said.
"What's the problem with that?" I asked.
"Are you serious?" Charles asked. He'd been laughing since Beau had finished the story. "He did the cum and roll on you."
"What does that mean?" Tanner asked. The waiter had come by to deliver a second round of drinks. "So he was ready to stop after you finished. He was probably tired from two freaking hours."
"It means he wasn't really enjoying it," Charles said. Beau looked more embarrassed than I'd ever seen him, but that could be said on any given day. "Was this the first time you'd fucked him?"
Beau thought for a second and then answered that it was. "I have to dump him," he said.
"I thought he was the love of your life," I said baiting him. I loved joking about Beau's revolving door.
"What? Who wants to be in love with someone who doesn't enjoy a good fucking? For all I know the guy doesn't have a g-spot or anything. And sure I could just let him fuck me all the time, but there's a reason I'm versatile and I'm not going to waste this 8 inch sucker on a guy that can't appreciate it, thank you," he said dramatically.
We continued our brunch- each of us eating our standards which included a Ruben for me-and went our separate ways. Beau was beat up after realizing that Becket apparently didn't enjoy their sex and we didn't waste any time giving him advice. Tanner was of the position that if Beau really liked Becket that he should give the relationship a chance regardless of who could please who.
"A relationship is more than just sex you know."
Charles made it clear that if Beau didn't pick up his phone and break up with Beckett right then and there that he'd have no problem doing it for him.
I was split. I agreed that the sex was important, but I also like the idea of Beau being in a relationship. Relationship Beau was stabilized Beau and stabilized Beau didn't crash at my house drunk as shit at 3 a.m. to sleep on my couch.
When I went home, I sat down at my laptop and tried to think about the first school year article I'd be writing. My students, as well as all other non-English majors and faculty, looked forward to my column on relationships every week. And the first one of the year needed to be a good one. Since I hadn't had sex in a few weeks, I sat there pondering Beau's dilemma.
Was it really such a big deal that Becket wasn't enjoying their sex as much as Beau was? And if Becket hadn't said anything, should Beau bring it up? In relationships, how important is both partner's fulfillment?
*Meanwhile, a little uptown, Tanner was at Frank's relaying what was going on with Beau.
"You never feel like that, do you babe?" Tanner asked.
"Of course not," Frank replied. He was laying on the bed reading a magazine as Tanner was busy folding some laundry. "When your cock isn't in me, all I can think about is having it in me."
How romantic, Tanner thought. He's not even looking up from his magazine. Tanner decided this was as good a time as any to de-stress Frank and get his mind of the upcoming nuptials. He turned around and crawled onto the bed where Frank was sitting up.
"You do, do you? Well, why think about it when its right here just for you," he whispered. Frank looked up to see Tanner crawled over his body and his face an inch away from his own. He smiled like a kid in a candy story, threw down his magazine and kissed Tanner on the lips.
Frank's smooth skin and soft lips were enough to make any man drool and Tanner was eating him up. Before he knew it, Frank had flipped him onto his back and was slowly easing Tanner's pants off. Frank kneeled over him and took off his own t-shirt and shorts and Frank smiled up at him.
"You look so sexy," Tanner purred and before he knew Frank was devouring his already growing cock. Although Tanner was usually the one doing the fucking, Frank loved to be on top for some reason. He loved straddling Tanner's huge dick and riding it until he couldn't anymore, looking down on Tanner's orgasmic face as he spilled his splooge all over Tanner's chest.
And that's exactly what they did that night. Twice.
*While I was busy pouring over my first article of the year, Beau decided he'd straighten things up with Becket. He got home and found his boyfriend-of-the-week soaking in his oversized bubble bath, fondling a bar of soap and a hand towel.
"I thought you'd never come home," Becket said when Beau walked into the bathroom. Beau sat down at the rim of the tub, looked Becket in the eye and said point blank "You don't like it when I fuck you, do you?"
Becket was taken a back, but Beau had already resigned himself to the fact that this relationship was over. He couldn't be with a guy that he couldn't please, so he wasn't going to bother trying. This was just a formality as far as he was concerned.
"Wha-what?" Becket stammered.
"Last night," Beau replied. "We did it for two hours and just when I was finished, you fell asleep. Just like that. You weren't enjoying it or something?"
"No, that's not it," Becket replied. "It's just... it's hard to explain. "
"Well try, Beck," Beau said.
"Look, Beau, it isn't you. I swear, I like you a lot. It's just that I don't bottom that regularly," he said. He pressed on hesitantly. "And my last boyfriend, you know, was black and he was, well, you know." Beau looked at him blankly. "He was really huge. So huge. It was gigantic. I like having sex with you, but as far as really feeling it, I'm sorry man. It's just not the same."
Beau looked down at Becket and smiled. Becket finished his bath and left the apartment without saying another word.
*As for me, I spent the afternoon writing and thinking about all things sex. It'd been exactly three weeks since I'd been with a guy, a cute landscaper from Brooklyn, and that was way longer than I was used to. I was going to go out with Charles tomorrow night and hopefully land some action, but in my dry spell came a lot of wisdom for my first article.
I was finishing up the first draft when I got an unexpected call.
"Hey Mike, this is Jesse," a husky voice said from the other line. It took me a while to recognize the voice but as soon as I did, I beamed with excitement. Jesse was what I'd decided was my ultimate fuck buddy. Every few months or so, one of us would call the other for a simple date that usually didn't involve anything more than a quickie and a cigarette. At this point, after a three week itch, Jesse seemed like the perfect cure.
"Hey Jesse, I was just thinking about you," I said.
"Really? Would you like to do dinner sometime?" he asked. I knew he meant tonight. I was ready whenever he was.
"I was actually thinking about getting a bite to eat now. You want to come over for some wine first?"
"Sounds perfect," Jesse said. He hung up a minute later after some awkward small talk and fifteen minutes after that he was knocking on my door with a grin on his face.
"It's so good to see you stud," he said, coming in and pecking me on the lips. "I brought some red."
"You didn't have to do that," I said grabbing the bottle when he handed it to me. "It's good to see you too. You want me to go ahead and open this up?"
"I was thinking we could do something else first," he whispered. And right on cue, he pulled me close and kissed me hard.
Sex with a fuck buddy is always fun- no strings attached, no inhibitions and simply no rules. Anything you've wanted to try but were too afraid or nervous is on limits when you're screwing a fuck buddy. Dirty talk is encouraged. Kinkiness is rewarded.
And with Jesse, he liked to do everything fast. Before I could blink twice, he'd taken both of our shirts off and had lifted me onto the bed so that with him standing on the floor, my crotch was right in his face. He took a long deep whiff of my musk and breathed "I forgot how good you smell."
With any other partner, I would be slightly uncomfortable with that comment- with Jesse, it was perfectly in order. He unbuttoned my jeans and was delighted to find I was going commando- I'd actually taken them off shortly after his phone call- and dove right onto my rapidly rising dick.
Things that would normally annoy me with a relationship I found perfectly endearing with Jesse- probably because I knew I wouldn't be repeating the cycle tomorrow and that the next time we did do it, it would be totally different. This time around, he was intent on slurping loudly while he sucked my cock. He'd take it all the way down to the hilt, slurp it up for a few minutes and then let it go, look up at me and smile. Meanwhile, I was holding on to his head with one hand and bracing myself on the ceiling with the other.
I wasn't a particular fan of the slurp. I'd talked to Tanner once about this guy I'd hooked up with in college who was such a loud slurper that my neighbor asked me about it the next morning. By the time Jesse was done slurping up my cock, I was as hard as a rock and ready to pound some ass. I stepped down off of the bed and was met by his strong and sexy arms. He immediately began devouring my neck, something else I would have found annoying and would have stopped immediately, but at this point, fucking was the only thing on my mind. I could hear Jesse moan softly, almost purring, as he kissed my neck, chest and lips like there was no tomorrow.
And then without any prompting, he stopped his oral assault and climbed up onto my bed. He smiled at me, lifted his legs and pulled my hips into his. We kissed as I used my fingers to find and loosen up his whole. My cock was already rock hard I couldn't wait to get in. When I knew he was ready, I grabbed a condom and some lube, lifted his legs over my shoulders and slowly dove in.
He moaned loudly under me and I could tell he'd been missing my cock- well, not my cock per se, but probably cock in general (you can never really tell with fuck buddies). I slid in slowly at first letting him feel every inch as I went in. His ass was impossibly tight and squeezed my dick as tightly as ever. His ass stayed just as tight as I began quickening my thrusts, pulling out almost all the way and then diving back in. with Jesse's legs resting on my shoulders, I had a clear view of his amazing face, his tight and smooth body and his hard bouncing cock. I also got to bend down and kiss him hard and passionately without missing a stride.
I pounded and pounded away until I felt my balls tense up and I knew it was time. I asked almost incoherently if he wanted me to cum in him or on him and he panted that he wanted me to cum on his chest. I pulled out, ripped the condom off and jacked my cock exactly three times before I exploded all over Jesse's perfect body. He was jacking his cock faster than I could imagine too and as soon as I started spilling my cum onto him, he was squirting ropes of jizz all over his stomach and chest as well.
I stood there trying to catch my breath for a second as my hand slowly messaged his sticky torso and for the next few minutes I felt like I was in heaven. I laid down next to him, not caring about the mess because I'd resigned myself to the fact that I'd be changing my sheets about three seconds after Jesse's phone call.
"Mind if I light a smoke?" Jesse asked. I said he could. This was new territory. On a normal day, he'd be asking me if he could take a quick shower. Sometimes he'd just put his pants back on and make up an excuse why dinner couldn't work. Then he asked something that truly killed me. "What are you thinking about?"
Was I having pillow talk with my certified fuck buddy? I couldn't think of anything to say so I just shrugged.
"Look," he said. "I know we usually don't do this, but I was thinking we could actually get dinner tonight."
Again, I was thrown off. No! I thought. We couldn't get dinner. Dinner was over, we'd done our dinner. Why was he looking for more than the original arrangement?
"I don't think I can. I have a very important eight o'clock," I said recovering quickly. "I have to prep for orientation in the morning. I'm meeting all of my advisees."
"Oh, I didn't know you were a teacher," he said showing surprising interest. I sat up, snatched his cigarette and took a drag. I handed it back to him.
"Look," I replied. "Like I said, I've got an important 8 o'clock. I should probably wash up."
He took the cue like a pro, got up and put his clothes back on. He made a joke about having to ride the subway smelling of jizz and though I tried to sympathize, I didn't have time to deal with boundary crossing issues like this one. As soon as he was out of the apartment, I called Tanner to come over and hopped into the shower.
*"Why is it such a big deal that he wants to go out to dinner with you?" was Tanner's first question.
"Umm, let's see Tanner, he's my fuck buddy," I responded. "Do you have any clue what that means? It means we fuck. We do not date. He asked me out on a date. That's what boyfriends do, not fuck buddies and we are fuck buddies!"
I realized afterwards that I had been yelling and Tanner was laughing at me.
"Tan, this is serious. What do I do?" I asked. This wasn't the way things usually played out for me and it wasn't the way things were supposed to play out. I had a system and having Jesse on the back burner was an intricate part of that system. "What if we start going out and it doesn't work? What the fuck am I supposed to do at the end of a three week dry spell then?"
"Can't you just find another fuck buddy?" he asked. I gave him a look that indicated he'd overstepped and that it wasn't that easy. I opened the second bottle of wine of the night as Tanner continued. "I'm just saying that if I were you, I'd give this a chance, Mike. I mean, I know you're nervous to put yourself out there, but the whole Will thing was almost a year ago. You're ready for a relationship and I don't think passing this one up just because you're afraid would be a good idea."
I knew he was right and I knew I owed it to myself to go out with Jesse, even if the idea of moving him to the front burner was the last on my mind at the time. But what hit me the hardest was that he'd played the Will card. Will was my ex, plain and simple. We dated for the entirety of our senior years and our year in grad school (he stayed in New York just for me even though he'd received offers to study in both London and the Netherlands). And then he left. He said that he couldn't be in a relationship with me for the rest of his life and that if he didn't leave then we'd both regret it. He got on a flight to Paris to take freelance photos for a magazine and I'd only heard from him twice ever since- both times in the form of post cards he'd taken pictures of.
"You didn't have to bring him up," I said quietly. I was suddenly annoyed.
"I know, but you just need to realize that-" he began. I interrupted him.
"No, what I realize is that you are in a relationship with a guy that loves you- a guy that would rather get the shaft from his parents than give you up. Its fucking easy for you stand on the outside and look in, but put yourself in my shoes for a second. And don't ever use Will to get your point across again. I'm going to bed, I have meetings in the morning."
The reply was probably more dramatic than it should have been, but I didn't care. I was equal parts vulnerable and annoyed and I needed to figure this out on my own.
"Ok, I get it. I'm leaving," he replied. "But I'm going to say something that only a friend would tell you. The past year hasn't been your best look. I think that Jesse might be your chance to get back on your game. That's all I'm saying."
And he left. He left me there thinking and wondering and knowing what I needed to do.
But before I made the call, I sat down at my laptop, erased what I'd already spent an hour writing and started over.
I spent last year analyzing relationships as well as offering my experiences and the experiences of my friends as advice. But what happens when the relationships you've become accustomed to change? What do you do when something you thought was a constant switches up on you?
My students would eat it up. And after I proofed the 500 word entry, I picked up the phone, called Jesse and asked him to dinner tomorrow night.
*The next day, I woke up bright and early, put on my sharpest suit and set out to make a good impression on my newest students. The campus and my office are about 30 blocks downtown from where I stay in fifties and so I hopped on a subway to the village as opposed to spending a ton of money to get stuck in Manhattan traffic. On my walk to the station about three blocks from my apartment, I decided to call Charles and cancel our clubbing plans for the evening.
"You aren't leaving me hanging to go out with a fuck buddy," was his initial reaction. "You do realize that sharing a meal with a fuck buddy is strictly foreboden, right?"
"It's forbidden, Shakespeare," I responded. "And I'm going for a new look here. It's been forever since I was on a proper date."
"So we're ready to talk about him now?" he asked.
"Now," I said. "But I'm ready to stop having random casual sex and to start dating again."
"And what a better way to start than to go to dinner with the one constant relationship that we all know works in our lives. I think dating your fuck buddy is just fucking yourself over. It can't end well."
"It might," I said. "And I'm willing to give it a chance. Let's do breakfast tomorrow."
"That's what you say now, but when I get the a call from you saying that Jesse has cooked you eggs our friendship will be over." I smiled, said goodbye and hung up.
I didn't have any service on the subway but I made it a point to check my messages as soon I could see sky again. There was one from Tanner apologizing for being a dick last night. Before I'd even left the station, I texted him back saying he had been right and that I called Jesse last night. I got a phone call a second later.
"Oh my god, you're such a flake," he teased.
"Shut up," I said walking briskly the rest of the way. The station was exactly five blocks from where I needed to go. "I'm trying something new."
"Well it's about fucking time," he said.
"I agree. I'm moving on. I'm a grown man. This is the beginning of an era." As I was talking I heard the telltale click of a text message.
"I just want to say that this is really healthy for you, Mike," Tanner pressed. "You've had a year to reflect and grow and fuck the shit out of half of the village and now you're putting Will and all the baggage he left you behind. If he were to come back into your life right now, he'd see a completely different Mike."
I thought about what Tanner was saying. He was right, I was different. A year had changed me. I had a great job, my own place and I was finally moving forward. I was stronger. And for the first time in a long time, I didn't need Will, whether in person or simply his memory.
As I came to that conclusion I heard another text message click and realized I was nearing my building.
"Call me tonight with all the juicy details," Tanner said after I said goodbye. "On second thought, if they're too juicy, call me in the morning."
I laughed. When I hung up I checked my phone again and saw I had two unread texts. The first was from Jesse and it was really cute: Hey, so looking forward to dinner tonight that I woke up and decided to do laundry. Have a good one! Complete with a smiley face. The second one was from an unsaved number, but I recognized it immediately. I stopped walking, dead in my tracks right in front of my building. I opened the message and it said: I just got back into town and I'm leaving tomorrow. We should catch up tonight. Call me- I miss you. W.
After one year of solitude, everything I'd built up, everything I'd learned and grown from crumbled before in this one single text message. Will was in town for a day and I had to face him... but I didn't know if I could.
**Welcome to the story of Mike and his boys. I hope you enjoyed it. Please send me your feedback at heavensforlife@aol.com. And also check out my other story on Nifty The Say.