I watched as Jim sat down at their table and wished like hell I could hear what was being said. Sam Max and Chris all started talking at once. Of course they wanted to know what had happened in the boys room.
" I confronted Jim about him and Todd waiting for me at the parking lot and they were waiting to fight me but Jim said he was only going to jump in if Todd had started to lose. " I said.
" That's bullshit ," Max snorted. " They both jumped me during the summer at the pool after I wouldn't hand over my lunch money. Jim held me while Todd fished 5 dollars out of my front pocket and I swear he felt me up while he was doing it. The fucker was smiling the whole time."
His eyes went to each of ours faces as he spoke .
" Please don't say anything , it was bad enough when it happened and I don't want anymore trouble from those two , I try to keep off their radar screen."
"Those fucking douche bags . Why didn't you tell me ? What the fuck Max , I'd have told you ". Chris spat out.
I found this interesting in two ways ... Todd copping a feel and Chris was so angry over it. I knew I'd feel the same way if it had happened to Sam. Chris was scowling but remained quiet.
" Yeah I know you would have and you would have said something to em and would have drawn their attention onto you . They haven't really messed with you and would have if you said anything. Anyways go on Mike , what happen when Perkins walked in ?"
"Well I think he's been keeping an eye out for trouble between me and Todd. He told me this was a quiet school and it was going to remain that way. "
" You got that right Mike , not a thing goes on here that gets by Perkins. He makes it his business to know. " said Sam.
Just then the bell rang, we got up to go to class. I heard Jim asking me to wait up.
" I told the guys what you said and they think your crazy and that Todd will kick your ass. You don't know him like we do Mike , he doesn't fight fair."
" And you think I do? I grinned. " Todd wasn't lying when he said I suckered punched him. I'll do what I have to to win. To me theirs no such thing as a fair fight."
The guys looked at me a little strangely like I had grown another head or something. I'm not sure if they believed me or not but was sure they'd get to find out. These guys grew up in a small town unlike me.
" Can I really sit with you guys from now on? I'm really sorry Sam and I remember 7 th grade when you showed up, we became friends, before I started being a dick. I hate Todd and now I can get away from him , I don't care if he beats me up anymore , I just want it to end. " Jim said , but now he was looking at his feet.
This was strange I thought . There's more going on here than Jim is letting on. For one I could see he was really afraid but also relieved . I wanted to pry but now wasn't the time.
" Jim as far as I'm concerned your more than welcome to hang with us and if Todd or the rest of em give ya any shit they'll have to deal with me , with I us I guess now , eh guys?"
" Fucking right they will . I'm not taking anymore of their shit " Max said with much force.
Max was slightly taller than Sam and just as thin. He had short brown hair and a chipped front tooth that made him look a little goofy but not in a bad way. All in all he was kind of cute in a boyish way. His teeth were small and white and his complexion clear. I was to find out later on that he was loyal as hell to Chris and would do anything for his friends.
Jim was looking at Max as he held out a five dollar bill.
" Please Max , I'm so sorry . I've never been a thief and refused to get an ice cream with Todd with the money stole from you during the summer . It really has been eating at me , every time I saw you after that I knew you went without lunch that day and it was my fault. I should have stopped hanging around with asshole along time ago. I feel like shit over so much that I've done but I think this is a good way to start feeling better."
Max took the five and held out his knuckles to bump with Jim's.
" All's forgiven Jim. Your a good guy and I remember how we used to be. We all make mistakes and you figured it out before it was too late. No really harm was one and it's good to have you back. Remember that Halloween?" he said with a shit eating grin.
Right before the end of the day an announcement came over the PA to remind us that the gym was re opening the next day and we were to bring our gym clothes the next day. The gym had been closed while the asbestos was removed. It was supposed to have been finished before school had started but had failed the air quality tests and now was finally up to par. We had been given a memioed sheet of paper earlier in the week telling us what to bring. Shorts , T shirt , sneakers and a jock strap. I didn't have a jock and guess I'd have to ask my Dad to go shopping tonight to get one.
Sam and been tutoring a few of the younger kids after school for an hour on Tuesdays and Thursdays for a small amount of money. Sam was a straight A student and always made the honor roll, while I was lucky to maintain a C average. I kind of plodded along thru my classes and had to study really hard to get those C's. My parents tried to help me and did , it just didn't come easy to me and they just accepted the fact that I was never going to be a rocket scientist. His Granddad picked him up after and I was relieved that Todd couldn't wait in ambush for him. So we couldn't get together after school today.
My folks had made sure that I hit the books right after getting home from school. Being allowed to go to Sam's had been a fluke and probably was only allowed as I hadn't been invited over to anyone else's house since we had moved here. I walked Sam to the library then called my Mom from the pay phone and asked if I could stay late to sign up for tutoring after school.
She was surprised but gave me permission. I stopped at the guidance office asked if Sam could help me but was told that it would have to be a high school student. For some reason they didn't allow kids from the same grade to tutor one another. Sam was tutoring kids from 6 th and 7 th grade. Well that certainly tossed a wrench into my plan to spend more time with Sam. I told Mrs. Gauthier that I'd bring the forms home for my folks but since Sam couldn't do it I wanted no part it.
I waited around til Sam was done and surprised him at the bike rack. He gave his killer smile that set the butterflies loose in my stomach. We talked about him coming to my house after school to help me and he was more than willing. In 3 weeks this session would be over and he'd be free to help me.
We rode to the trail once again but this time took a different route that brought us to a meadow over looking the salt marsh. The path was over grown here and we had the place to ourselves. Sam led us over to a log that we sat on , as soon as we sat down I took his hand in mine and drawing a deep breath begin ;
" Sam, I told you I might be gay but that was a lie , I'm gay. I never think of girls but think of you an awful lot. I dream of you and when we're not together your all I think about."
Usually my voice is firm and controlled but not this time , it was wobbly and all over in range, even broke once or twice. I thought I might break down before I got it all out but managed to hold on.
I waited for what seemed like to be forever. I was scared shittless . Even though we had kissed and ground against one another I still had no idea how Sam felt. Maybe he was going along with it because I had stuck up for him and he felt he owed me. Maybe he liked someone else in the way I liked him. I was aware of the sweat in my armpits which I never have unless I am working out. This was extremely hard for me. It was the first time I was admitting to myself that I was gay and that this wasn't a phase I was going thru.
Sam stared directly into my eyes ..." From the first day I saw you as you walked into home room I couldn't stop stealing peaks at you when no one was looking. I was afraid but couldn't help myself. I thought Todd would approach you like he does all the new guys, like he did to me. I was afraid you'd join them and make it even worse for me. But when he tried and you blew him off like you had so far with everyone. I had a little hope that you might be different. I went home that night and prayed to God that he'd send me a special friend, like I had ever since I realised I was gay. That he'd send you. I know what the bible says about men loving men like we are supposed to with girls but I don't think God is really like that. If we are made in his image than how could he hate me? Anyways when you punched Todd I believed God was telling me it was gonna be OK . And then you asked to sit with me I knew my prays had been answered . God sent you to me and that were like me. I just knew it. I went home that night and cried so hard as I thanked God. Am I freaking you out? No ? Good. I never gave up on God even when he called my folks and Sarah home to him. I think I loved you even before I first saw you Mike. I had dreams but couldn't see your face but when I heard your voice I knew it was you. I felt like the weight I'd been carrying for so long was gone , just like that... gone."
I wasn't freaked out at all . I've always believed in God and knew that he loved me no matter if I was gay or straight. Sam's words just re in-forced my belief. I smiled my best smile and lowered my lips to his. This time it was so much different than it had been in Sam's room. It was like fireworks , earthquakes and the sun rise all happening at once. I was shaking, it was so intense . To this day I think God himself was close by watching and smiling at the love he had created between lonely two boys.