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Four months passed. The only time I get to see Sarah is in school. We secretly make-out in her car or mine. Sometimes we go to the park and talk. She tells me she doesn't mind that she only sees me in school. One day when we were in my car I ask her if she wanted to come over my house.
"Are you sure?" she asks.
"Um..yeah, I mean you're not a boy, so it's okay." I joked.
She laughs
We get to my house and introduced Sarah to my mom. My mom was happy because I brought a friend home because I usually don't.
"It was nice meeting you Sarah, but I'm sorry we can't talk. I have to visit Amani's aunt."
"It was nice meeting you too." she replied back.
When my mom left we went to my room. Sarah looked around and saw my book collection,
"That's funny," she suddenly says.
"What is?"
"That most of these books you have, I have also."
"Hmm.Come here." I tell her.
She hesitates. I tell her no one is home. It's okay. She comes towards me and wraps her arms around me for a while. She asks me if I'm sure if I want to do this. I tell her yes. She starts kissing my lips. My heart is beating so fast. Her body is so close to mine. I open my mouth and she puts her tongue in my mouth. Sarah takes my shirt off, and puts her hands on my breasts. It feels so good. She kisses my neck, then my breast. I arch my back because I want more of her mouth on me. She licks my breasts then sucks on them. She slowly takes my jeans off. She looks at me to see my reaction. I tell her I want this. She kisses my stomach. Sarah has her hands on my thighs. I couldn't help the moan that escaped my lips. I wanted and needed her so bad. She put her index finger in me. I was moaning so loud. This is the first time I feel this and it feels amazing. She has her body pressed on mine. Then all of a sudden we hear the front door open. It was my dad. We got up quickly and pretended we were doing are school work. I took her back to campus because she left her car there. When we got to school we couldn't keep are hands off of each other. I kissed her and told her I'm sorry we didn't get to finish what we started. She told me it was okay we have other times. I can't believe this woman is in my life. I'm falling for her.
God!!!..can this week get any slower. It was spring break and I haven't seen Sarah. We talk every night. She told me about her ex, Kim. They had been going out for a couple of years. Kim cheated on her with some random guy, when Sarah was out of town. A few months later Kim got pregnant. That's when Sarah found out kim cheated on her. Sarah left Kim because she didn't trust her. She sounded sad when she told me. I tell her good thing Kim cheated on you, then I wouldn't have you in my life. She laughs and says yeah your right.
I have to see Sarah. This is driving me crazy. So I ask her to come to the movies with my cousin and I. she said sure. My cousin is my best friend she is like a sister I never had. The only thing she doesn't know is me being gay. I drove to get Sarah first so we can have some alone time for a little bit. When I saw her she put her hands on my cheeks and kissed me passionately. I missed you so much she whispers in my ears. We couldn't keep our hands off of each others. I put my hands underneath her shirt to feel her breast. She moaned in my ear. I stopped when I heard my phone ring. It was my cousin Dina asking me why am I taking too long. I tell her we'll be there in a minute, there's traffic. Sarah laughs and wraps her arms around me and kisses me on the lips. We Couldn't stop kissing. I pulled away from her and tell her we have to go now.
"Babe..Your driving me crazy," she says
"Who me..I don't know what you're talking about." I say innocently.
"Yeah okay.right." she says laughing.
We get to Dina's house. I'm so excited because I know Dina will like Sarah. They got along great. We didn't know what movie we wanted to watch. They both wanted a romantic movie to watch, but I wanted to see a scary movie. It was two against one so were going to see a romantic movie. I sat in the middle between Dina and Sarah. During the movie Sarah put her hands on mine. I didn't notice until I saw Dina looking at our holding hands. I took my hands away and I saw Sarah's hurt face. I knew she was sad because I took my hands away from hers. But she knew I can't do that in public. After the movie we decided to get coffee. Dina kept the conversation going. Every time Sarah catches me looking at her, she just looks away. She ignored me the whole time. Sarah was talking to Dina more than me and its making me mad. I hope Dina didn't notice. It was time to go. I dropped Sarah off first because Dina was sleeping over my house. I'll call you later I tell her. She just nodded and left.
"What is up with you two?" Dina asks
"What are you talking about?"
"I don't know it seems like you guys are mad at each other."
"Well were not can you just drop it." I say angrily.
"Okay.fine, but you can tell me anything." she says
Yeah. If only I can.
I called Sam later that night, but she never answered.
A couple of days later and I still didn't hear from Sarah. I'm really upset because she hasn't called me. I call her a couple more times and still no answer. I'll see here tomorrow in class. The next day I'm in class, but Sarah isn't here. What is her problem? After class I go to my car and see her against it.
"Hey.why haven't you called back.I was worried." I tell her.
"Yeah I know I'm sorry.I was just thinking." she says sadly.
"About what?"
"About us,"
"Okay look I know you were upset with me the other night, but I told you from day one I can't do that in public. You said you understand." I say angrily
"Yeah I know.I can't help it that I'm falling for someone whose keeping me a secret." She yells
"I can't believe this is happening right now. I knew I shouldn't have started anything." I yell back.
"Amani.I love you,"
"I don't know what to say. I mean why do you love me if I don't show you to the world. Why do you want me if like you said "I'm keeping you a secret." I say sadly.
We just stare at each other. I look at her sad face. I can't let her go through this. I have to let her go.
"I think we should stop seeing each other. It's better for both of us if we don't see each other anymore." I say calmly. The truth is its killing me inside.
"I can't believe you. You're going to just let me go." She's crying right now I can't see her like this.
"Yeah I am." I get in my car and drive. I'm shaking so much that I couldn't concentrate on my driving. I pull over and that's when I break down crying.