I started to slip into a trance-like state, high on the feeling of being so close to Cooper, with nothing but air between us. I felt so alive, it was like new senses had been awakened in me. The sound of his breathing, slowing down to a normal tempo now, seemed to fit perfectly with the sounds of mid-morning. The birds were still singing, and the air had warmed enough that I could hear insects buzzing nearby.
I lazily looked over at Cooper, and found him staring back at me. Our eyes met, and neither of us looked away. Something in that back of my mind told me I should feel uncomfortable about that sort of intimacy, but I didn't care. The feeling of closeness was palpable. I felt like he was looking into my soul, and I didn't mind.
We stayed that way for a long time. Then Cooper jumped to his feet without warning, and started running toward the lake.
"Let's go for a swim!" He shouted as he took off through the trees, stark naked.
I followed quickly, aware of my still semi-hard cock wagging between my legs as I jogged after Cooper. He was in the water when I got there, and I dove in after him without hesitating, splashing him as I hit the water. He laughed loudly and returned a wave of water as I surfaced. Then he pounced on me, and the sounds of our yells and laughter filled the air. The water was about chest deep where we stood struggling, our feet sinking into the soft mud at the bottom of the lake.
The goal of our wrestling somehow became to climb onto the other boy's shoulders, and I soon gained the upper hand. I was sitting on Cooper's muscular shoulders, one hand in his hair and the other down on his chest before I remembered how naked I was. I was suddenly very aware of my perky dick pressed against the back of Cooper's neck. The sight of it sent chills through my body, and my dick started to harden again.
Cooper must have felt the movement on his neck, because we were both suddenly very still. Then Cooper seemed to come to himself and he threw me back off his shoulders. I assumed our wrestling match had begun again, so as soon as I surfaced, I charged him. He was facing me when I reached him, and he surprised me by sweeping me up in his arms and carrying me to the shore of the lake. He lay me on my back in the grass, and crawled on top of me. That same animalistic look glinted in his eye as he spread my legs apart with his thighs and pinned my hands above my head, moving in to kiss me at the same time. I felt a pressure on my taint, and shivered. A new desire awoke in me. I wasn't even sure what it was. I found myself spreading my legs further apart, and pulling my knees up towards my chest.
We were both breathing heavily, and Cooper was kissing me with more urgency and passion than he had before. I was completely at his mercy, pinned beneath all that rippling muscle. I kissed back with the same urgency. I could feel him lightly rubbing his dick up and down on my taint.
Without warning, Cooper pulled his head back and looked me in the eyes. He mumbled something about "moving too fast," then kissed me quickly and sprang to his feet. His dick was as full attention, and it swung lazily above me as he stood.
"We should probably get moving. We're getting a late start the way it is."
I tore my eyes away from his erect appendage and nodded. I was aware that my own cock was throbbing, although it hadn't been long since our last little "wrestling match."
Cooper started to walk away, but I stayed where I was for another minute or two, propped up on my elbows, staring past my excited man parts to gaze across the calm water of the lake. It was the first time I had stopped to think about all that had happened that morning, and I felt myself beginning to worry.
I wasn't sure where things were going to go from here. Part of me hoped the relationship Cooper and I had would just return to the way it had been before. I had enjoyed experimenting with him, but I was afraid I would push him away if I wasn't careful.
We hiked in almost total silence. I felt myself growing more upset all the time, although I wasn't completely sure why. I could tell my souring mood was not going unnoticed by Cooper. He had that cute worried look on his face, his eyebrows scrunched up and his lips and tight line. He kept trying to lighten the mood by telling jokes or attempting to start conversation, but his efforts just made my mood worse. On any other day, I would have laughed at his poor attempts at jokes, enjoying his boyish smile and deep laughs. But today, I just couldn't find the energy.
Knowing that I was missing some moments with Cooper that I normally would have died to be a part of only made me more upset. I was being completely unreasonable and I knew it. But I didn't care. I had done things with Cooper that I had never allowed myself to even dream about doing. The guilt that I felt was overwhelming. Although I knew Cooper wasn't to blame, I felt myself directing my anger in his direction more and more often.
We stopped to take a break in the early afternoon, and Cooper playfully slapped my ass as I was bent over to set my pack on the ground. I wave of embarrassment washed over me, and I turned on him.
"What was that, dude?" My voice was strained, and my face felt hot. "Just keep your hands to yourself." I turned away to hide my face.
Cooper stood there in silence, apparently taken aback. I heard him quietly apologize. "Sorry. I wasn't thinking."
I sat on a small rock next to the trail, and we stared mutely into the distance. Then Cooper spoke again, sounding irritated.
"Actually, Preston, I'm not sorry. I've been walking on eggshells around you all day, and I don't really know why. I assume you're upset because we messed around this morning, and I understand how confusing that can be, but that doesn't give you the right to treat me like I'm the problem here. If you want me to back off, I will, but I'm not going to be your plaything when you're in the mood and your enemy when you're not."
I just gaped at him, stunned at his sudden outburst.
He softened his tone. "If you want to talk things out, I'm happy to do that too. But I'm not going to play along with your grumpy old man routine all day." He fell silent.
I realized I was holding my breath, and let it out slowly. It seemed like forever before I found the words to respond.
"You're right," I said in a matter-of-fact tone. "You don't deserve this. I am kind of freaking out right now. But that doesn't mean I can treat you like shit, especially since I care about you as much as I do."
Cooper stared at me intensely, but didn't speak.
"I'm sorry," I muttered. "I don't know what's going on with me."
Cooper smiled slightly, seeming amused. "Believe it or not, this is a pretty common response for a man who just had his first gay encounter."
I jumped at the word "gay." I had known that sucking a man's dick was gay, but I had been working overtime to avoid that line of thinking. Hearing someone say it out loud made it impossible to ignore.
If Cooper had noticed my response, he didn't show it. "The fact is, nothing you did today changes anything. You're still the same dude. You're no less normal now than you were a month ago. You just have some new experiences under your belt." He smiled.
I squinted at him. "How are YOU so ok with all of this?"
He shrugged. "Let's just say this isn't my first rodeo." He paused. "I don't want to sit here and lecture you all day, but I want you to know that after my first time with a guy, I was torn up about it for a solid month. I told myself I hadn't liked it, that it was just a one-time thing. I avoided the guy like the plague." He shook his head. "And I was terrified that the things I had done meant I was gay."
I had to admit that I had been thinking some very similar thoughts. I nodded, but didn't interrupt.
"The fact is that it doesn't matter. People are too worried about what to call each other. You don't have to apply any labels if you don't want to. Just do what feels right. The rest is background noise." He paused again, then chuckled. "Thanks for coming to my Ted Talk."
I looked into his eyes. I had forgotten how thoughtful Cooper could be in serious situations. "I needed to hear that, I think. All I've been able to think about all day is what a freak I am. I somehow started thinking that even you must think I'm a psycho."
Cooper laughed. "You're NOT a freak." Then his face grew serious, and he said in a grave tone, "I do worry that you're a little psychotic though. We should probably get you some help."
I laughed and took a playful swing at him, which he easily dodged. "You're a dick, you know that?"
He laughed, but his smile faded, and he looked me in the eye. "Jokes aside, remember that you're not a freak. Other people might think so--I won't lie to you--but never me. And everyone else can fuck off."
Cooper leaned across the trail and gave me one of his bear hugs. I smiled into his shoulder, and hugged him back. Then he stood up and offered me his hand. I took it and he pulled me to my feet. He glanced at the sky, which had quickly filled with dark clouds during our conversation.
"Those look suspicious. We'd better hurry up and get to lower ground before one of us gets fried," Cooper said.
Right on queue, thunder rolled loudly across the sky, and the scent of rain drifted through the air. I took the lead as we hurried off the ridge. I still had a lot to think about, but I was feeling much better now. The worry and dread that had settled in my chest were clearing, and I felt surprisingly peaceful as the first raindrops fell on my face.
The sporadic raindrops quickly became a torrential downpour, and I was drenched in minutes. The slippery trail was a miniature river, and my boots filled with water. I could only see a few feet to either side of the trail. It wasn't long before the darkness caused by the thick clouds was interrupted by distant lightning. The thunder that followed seemed to shake the ground.
We moved quickly, trying to lose as much elevation as possible. As soon as the trail leveled out, I heard Cooper yelling over the elements.
"We'd better find a spot to hunker down! I don't think this is going to let up anytime soon."
I gave him a thumbs up, then looked around. A dark patch off to the left seemed to suggest that there was a grove of trees. I gestured in that direction, and in response, Cooper moved that way.
The wind slackened as we reached the spot, which turned out to be a thick grouping of fir trees. Cooper led the way as we plunged between the branches. He came to a stop when he found a clearing large enough for a campsite. It was much quieter here, but the rain still fell through the canopy of branches above us.
He didn't waste any time. He pulled out his tent and I helped him get it set up and anchored. He must have noticed me shivering, because he put a hand on my back and guided me towards the door of the tent.
"You can wait out the rain in here. Just lose the wet clothes."
The thought did cross my mind that this might be a ploy to get me naked with him in a rather cramped tent, but I was cold and soaked, and I didn't really care. I quickly removed my clothes, tossing them over a nearby tree branch, and found a dry patch near the base of a tree to place my boots.
Cooper watched me, unmoving, then began removing his boots as I reached the door of the tent and crawled inside. I pulled the bedding out of our packs as he got naked, and spread them on the floor of the tent. I snuck peeks at Cooper through the open door as I worked. He was now wearing only a t-shirt and boxers. Both were plastered to his skin, his shirt emphasizing his defined arms and torso, and his boxers creating a clear outline of his junk. He pulled his shirt free, and I lay back, covered myself, and took a deep breath. The air smelled faintly of pine and rain. I found it incredibly relaxing, and I closed my eyes.
I opened them when I heard Cooper enter the tent. He pulled our packs in behind him and set them by the door, then zipped it shut. For a moment, the only sound was rain dripping on the tent around us. Then Cooper wriggled up next to me to lay down. I could tell he was trying to be careful not to bump into me or the sides of the tent, but he wasn't having much success. His hulking form shook the tent several times before he got settled. I tried not to laugh about his "graceful" movements, but my best efforts didn't keep him from noticing the grin on my face.
He glared at me. "What's so funny?"
I tried to look clueless. "Nothing! What do you mean?"
He raised an eyebrow. "You're smiling so hard I'm afraid your head's going to explode."
"I'm just happy to be here, I guess." I tried my best to look innocent.
He shook his head slightly, seeming to understand that I wasn't going to tell him what the big joke was. "Whatever. I guess I can't blame you; I'm such a pleasure to be around."
I visibly shivered again, in spite of my blankets.
Cooper gave me a concerned look. "You're still cold?"
"I'm always cold, I'm surprised you don't know this by now," I responded, only half-joking.
Cooper chuckled and wordlessly pulled me against him. The amount of warmth coming off him was surprising. I realized my mind was spinning again--an experience that was all too common lately. I fought the urge to turn my head and kiss Cooper. As much as I wanted to, I knew I needed to get things sorted in my head first. He was right, after all. It wasn't fair for me to give him that sort of encouragement if I was just going to change my mind again.
Instead, I enjoyed the warmth of his firm body. Although I wanted to, I didn't snuggle up closer to him. I turned my head away from him and closed my eyes. I wondered what was going through his head, but didn't ask. Instead, we just lay there without speaking or sleeping, lost in our thoughts.