Sorry it's been so long since I last posted. Other things have kind of taken a front seat. I'll try and improve the track record guys. :)
This is a true story. I went ahead and changed the name of the other person involved, but not the principal player. The only thing to remember is that this is only my side of the story. Maybe the perspective of the others is quite different. Then again, I have a feeling they'll never talk about it.
I intend to write about other experiences that I have had. It has occurred to me that some memories are possibly out of order chronologically. Also, that in some cases, I may have to fudge a bit on what exactly happened in terms of the physical. I do intend to stay true to the actual emotions and intent of the games that were played. In the cases where I pull that kind of sleight of hand (mind), I will say so in the notes before the story. This is the first one where I have realized that it may be necessary for the sake of the story. The other 2 prior stories are true to my memory. Thanks for bearing with me.
The Mental Games People Play Series: -----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Chris' Game: Part 1 of 3
Chapter 1
Chris was my first love. Not that I can into the relationship a virgin. Actually, far from it by that time. Still he is the first person that I can clearly say that I loved and not just lusted after. My other experiences up until this point were purely and simply sex. You know, the kind that makes 'gay sex' a cliche. I had waited a long time before deciding that virginity was no virtue, for me at any rate. I did the typical late teenage thing and made up for what I thought of as lost time.
I was 20 when I met Chris. If you read Steve's game, then you will have a rough idea of the time frame I am talking about. The reason I bring Steve up is this. He owned a comic book and baseball card store. I was working for him in the store. I had moved out by then. Actually, I had been out of that place for 2 years now. He accepted the fact that I had no interest in him and I accepted the fact that he would harbor that lust for me, but never again attempt to act on it. Sure, things were a little awkward when I first started working for him, but it rapidly shifted into a more professional relationship. I was helping him with his bookkeeping, picking up deliveries and cashiering.
I also got along fairly well with his mother, who ran the cash register most days. She sold me my first car, a 79 Caddy coup. It was a dogged looking thing on the outside, but it ran like a trooper. I abused the hell out of that car and it just ran like a champ on neglect. Anyways, things had settled into a routine fairly quickly. Then a minor disaster hit.
A case of baseball cards, Leaf if I remember right, had just been delivered. The driver had set it down by the register while Steve's mom signed for it. A couple of customers were waiting patiently for her to finish so she could ring them up. One of them caught my eye as he stood there waiting.
He was blond, about 6' and rail thin. Very pale skin, but not in a totally hideous way. More like the way some redheads are described as milk complexioned. Sea blue eyes and a thin nose that tipped up at the end. His hair was medium length and the bangs fell just over his eyes. I remember his hands too, very strong looking. He had on black Docker's type pants with cargo pockets. Also, a white button down shirt was tucked into those pants. Old worn sneakers adorned his feet. I didn't pay all that much attention to him, if you can credit that. I know, if I was not paying attention, how could I remember so much of my first sight of him? Read on and learn!
Some creep walked into the store, looked around and snatched the box on the counter. The blond and I took off after him. I was sick to my stomach. That was a couple of hundred bucks in new cards this thief was trying to heist. I shouldn't say trying. He got clean away. The blond and I both manage to loose the jerk within a few blocks. We were downtown in an older section of town and there were too many alleys to duck down and hide in. we both finally had to stop and try and catch our breath. I dragged my sorry self back to the store. The cute blond followed me back.
By now, Steve's mom was having a fine old snit over the theft and the fact that I didn't catch him. The blond said that I had tried my best and that there wasn't much I could have done once the guy hit the street running. For some reason this seemed to appease her. I gave the blond a tired, grateful smile for the support. Then I called Steve and told him what had happened. Naturally, he went ballistic over the phone. Not much I could do about it though. Finally he calmed down and asked for details. Unfortunately, while I was dealing with Steve, blondie went out the door.
Chapter 2
I saw him again a couple of days later. Same type of pants, different color. Same type of white shirt too. Turns out he was an X-men fan and came in to pick up the latest issue. Suited me. I was a huge X-men fan myself. Years later I got a really good tattoo of Storm on my thigh. It covers the entire outside of my right thigh, from about 2 inches above my knee all the way to just over my hipbone. It wraps about halfway to my inner thigh all the way around the outside to just short of my ass. In color, no less!
Anyway, we got to talking about past X-men issues and favorite storylines. We must have talked for more than 2 hours. I knew that I really liked this guy. Turned out his name was Chris, short for Christian. He hated the long version and would only answer to Chris. Again, that suited me just fine. We both seemed to be hitting it off fairly well.
When he came in the next day, I was hardly surprised. He really had no reason to, but he did. I mean, after all, he had picked up his books the day before and nothing new was due for another week. We talked again for hours, but not about comic books. I can't really remember well now what it really was about, but we apparently fascinated each other. I could feel emotions stirring in me that I had never encountered before. I confused the hell out of me.
When he came in for the third day in a row, I decided to take a huge risk. It was almost quitting time for the day and I was ready to close up. We had not really gotten to talk much because of heavy customer traffic. He looked really disappointed. I offered to continue the talk at my apartment down the street. My heart was literally pounding as I asked him over. I mean the gaydar was saying, Hell yes, but my mind was saying no way! I was almost comatose when he said; sure, he'd like that.
Chapter 3
We got to my apartment by walking. It really wasn't that far. It didn't seem long enough though, if you know what I mean. I really enjoyed just being near him. We talked about some bull or other all the way there. I liked the sound of his voice too. It kind of sent tingles through me. That confusion I mentioned was going full blast too. I had never felt that way around anyone else before. It was the most amazing and scary thing at the same time.
I was lucky; my roommate was out and didn't look like she was going to be back anytime soon. I asked him if he wanted anything to drink or something. He declined, but I got myself some water. Mostly to have something to fidget with. We sat on opposite couches. Our living room was huge. There was enough space for 2 full size couches. I had brought one and my roommate had brought hers. I kind of slouched myself into a position that I could watch Chris from the corner of my eye without being to blatantly obvious.
We talked for a while about some nonsense or other. That was really not too important at the time, or really, even now. I was only paying partial attention anyway. I was actually trying to get up the balls to ask if he was into guys. I mean, he was a hit on the ole gaydar, but he was really good at hiding himself from the world. Did I dare go there? Eventually, yes, I did.
I worked myself up to it and quietly asked if he ever did anything with guys. He didn't answer right away. I began to get worried. Then he popped up with how did I figure that? No denial. Just how did I figure that out. In my mind, I thought oh thank god! I haven't made a total ass out of myself. I told him that I just knew. Not that there was anything obvious about him. He was very straight acting to the rest of the world. I guess it had to do with the way he talking with me, plus the fact that he made excuses to come talk to me. Not something anyone else would pick up on. He had this relieved look on his face.
I was in seventh heaven at this point. We looked into each other's eyes and didn't say anything for a while. I then got bold again. I asked him if he thought I was attractive. Talk about putting it all on the line right away! Here was his big chance for rejecting me. He thought about it for all of 10 seconds and then told me, yeah, he did think that. I almost dropped the glass I was holding. This was unreal!
Chapter 4
We really didn't do anything that night. I mean, yeah we talked for hours and then went for a walk. He told me about living with his mom and stepfather. How his brother and sister were total brats. Then he told me about his family being heavy born again types. That told me that they had no clue that he was gay. Later I found out why they never even gave that a thought. I put myself on my best behavior whenever I was around them.
I told him about myself. All the screwed up family shit of a similar nature. That I had moved out when I was 17. That I really didn't know what I was going to do with myself. We both had a similar spiritual bent too. In my eyes, we made a pretty good match for a random chance meeting. He seemed to think so too. We began to spend a lot of time together, but never did anything remotely physical. For some reason, that didn't bother me at all. I simply enjoyed his company.
It turned out that he lived less than 3 blocks from me. Totally cool. He was a part-time electrician. He was also trying to apply for a police academy. They ended up turning him down for some reason. He never did tell me why. Oh well. So, we continued on in that type of vein for about a month. Just kind of gliding along, going wherever this was going to take us. Neither of us was in any big hurry.
Chapter 5
Our first kiss was really special. I mean, maybe all first love, first kisses are in that category, but this one was definitely unique in that realm. It was Saturday and we didn't have any money between the 2 of us. That does have a way of limiting ones options. So, we got creative. We screwed around with video games and such until almost 9 that evening. Then both of us got sick of being inside. We both were more of the outdoorsy type anyway.
I came up with this brilliant idea. I knew a place that would be totally cool in the moonlight. It was a full moon too. He wanted to know where I had in mind. I decided to play it out and be all coy about it. He kept pushing, but I wouldn't budge about it. I said that we would have to drive over to where I had in mind. He agreed to go.
I drove us over to the UCR botanical gardens. It closed at 5 every day but I had thought of a way around that. We could just hop the fence and have the entire place to ourselves! Once I pulled into the parking lot, he knew what I was up to. He just grinned at me. Well, needless to say, we made it over the fence without to much trouble. I was happy with his reaction to my choice of adventure.
Once we were in, I led him to my favorite place in the entire garden. It is over by this huge stand of giant bamboo. The moonlight made the coolest patterns as it went through the gigantic stalks. He looked around, inspecting the entire area. I sat on the nearby bench and watched him explore. We were both having a total blast. Then he got this big grin on his face. He challenged me to a race to the upper back of the garden. He had seen some really cool rock formations when we had hopped the fence down below.
The gardens are set into the side of this hill. They climb 3 quarters of the way up the hill too. The rocks he was talking about were at the very top of the gardens. Then he took off. I vaulted over the bench and gave chase. It was totally exhilarating to run through the trees. There was just enough light so that we didn't have to worry about running smack into one in the dark. It was like running through this mini forest.
I just barely caught up with him by the time we hit the top of the gardens. The plant life thinned out and it was mostly rock now. This end of the garden was still not fully developed. Right then, it was just extra space to expand to when they needed it. Chris run right up a rock face and then sat himself down with his legs dangling off of the edge. Within seconds, I joined him. Neither of us was even out of breath from the relatively long uphill run.
Chapter 6
We could see most of the town spread out below us from where we were sitting. It was an awesome sight. Neither of us said anything for the longest time. Just being here together seemed to be enough for the both of us. The whole sky above us was a wonderful canopy of stars. I lay back against the rock and put my hands behind my head. I picked out my favorite constellation and pointed to it without speaking. He just nodded as he looked up at it. Oh, yeah, Orion is my favorite. I can find that one when I can't even find the Big Dipper most of the time. Some ex-boy scout, right?
Just as I was about to open my mouth and break the stillness, Chris leaned over me. I could feel his warm breath on my ear. I looked over at him. He was staring at my face, with this funny expression on his own mug. I had no idea what to think. Again I began to speak. He laid a finger across my lips and shook his head. I just shrugged and nodded acceptance.
Then, to my astonishment, he leaned in and kissed me. His lips were so warm against mine. I was in this state of paralysis. I couldn't move. I had not expected this at all. But, I tell you, it was the most incredible kiss I have ever had. The pressure was light, but firm. He cradled my head in the crook of his elbow. I could feel his fingers playing with the hair at the top of my head. After a brief moment, I pushed back against his lips with my own. It felt like my whole body was going to explode.
No one had ever kissed me like this before. Most guys would try and stick their tongue in my mouth in a way that made me feel like an ocean of spit was going to drown me. This kind of kiss that he was giving me, this kind I got into. I have no real idea how long that kiss lasted. As far as I was concerned, then and now, it was eternity. Even as I write this, I can feel it again as if it had just happened. I tell you what; this kind of kiss may just be once in a lifetime!
Chapter7
When he finally broke off the kiss, he leaned back and lay down beside me. He began to talk about some things that were happening. He also asked me not to talk with anyone else about it. Guess what folks... I intend to honor that promise even now. It was intensely personal and very hard for him to talk about at all.
We stayed on that rock for another hour and then jumped down. It was really late and we both had to get home. We took our sweet time going back down the hill. I didn't know about him, but I didn't want this night to end. He had made this so special for me. I almost don't have the words to give it the proper due.
We hopped the fence again and walked back to my car. It was only an hour or so until dawn now. He had to be back before his parents got up. I needed to sleep really badly by this point. I was definitely emotionally drained and it certainly transferred to the physical quickly enough. All things considered, I counted the night a huge success. The man I loved had kissed me for the first time on his own, without prompting.
Yeah, I had figured out that I was in love with him I am not sure if he had though. I mean figured out that I loved him. He was very quiet and careful about expressing his own emotions. I am sometimes too vocal. I hadn't told him how I felt. It hadn't seemed like the right time yet. Soon, but not just yet. I was still dealing with it myself and wanted to be sure that it was real.
Neither of us said a word on the drive home. There didn't seem to be a need to. I dropped him off at his house and then drove to my apartment. The sun was just peeking above the horizon as I stumbled into the apartment. I was completely drained. I was also totally content and happy. No trouble falling asleep either.
Epilogue for Part 1
Well, that was how we met. This takes you from that meeting until the first kiss. Part 2 will have our first fully sexual encounter. It was a ton of fun. It also had a lot of revelations for me. I never knew sex could be so drastically different with someone you love! Mind you, there definitely a nice sprinkling of sheer lust involved too, but that was the spice to the sauce, as they say.
Well guys, that's it for part one. As always, these stories are from my perspective and therefore biased. Let me know it you want to hear the rest of the tale, or stop while I am ahead? Email me at VanyelAshkev@aol.com or ICQ# 11938988 to place your comments.