Disclaimer: This story is a work of fiction, and any resemblance to real people or events is coincidental. It contains descriptions of sex between adult men. If this type of material offends you, or if you are forbidden by law to read it, please exit the story now. E-mail comments are gratefully accepted.
Sorry for the delay. My story now also appears on Archerland, which is an excellent source of good quality fiction. Chapters will be updated there first, and then to nifty. You can read MR at www.archerland.net . Thanks for reading!
Metropolitan Romance-8
The best-laid plans - Everything seemed to be shaping up for the summer events. The dances were still progressing nicely, but the canoe trip had hit a snag. Two sponsors had to back out because of illness in the family. I could always go as a sponsor, but I knew Eric would never go. He really wasn't the outdoor type. His way of communing with nature was to work in the garden. The trip wouldn't conflict with the vacation we had planned, but I had been trying to schedule a more relaxed pace while Eric was out of school. It would not only mean ten days apart, but the preparations and recovery time would mean that the real commitment was for at least two weeks. On the other hand, this canoe trip had taken on dimensions far greater than merely the experience for the boys. If only for Paul and Jared's sake, the trip had to happen. Even with me going, we still desperately needed another adult. I also didn't want to do the training with one man missing. Damn. What a way to ruin an evening.
I decided not to tell Eric about the canoe trip problems over supper. I still had meetings at the church, and I wanted more time to deal with this issue. The support groups were going well. Brad Carlisle even gave me a faint smile when I looked in on the youth meeting. I couldn't remember when I had seen him smile. Jared was absolutely bubbling. I sure hoped I didn't have to put a damper on his excitement. The adult meeting was well into final preparations for the youth dance. As I went to leave, Paul followed me out of the room.
"Hey, Steve. How's it going?"
"It appears that everything is under control tonight," I replied. "All the groups are hard at work."
"If you don't mind my saying so," he started, "you look like you have something on your mind."
I must have given him a confused look, because he began explaining.
"You were kind of distracted in there. Is something bothering you?"
A perceptive, intuitive Paul was a new concept, but then the man never ceased to amaze me.
"Well, actually Paul, there is. Two of the counselors for the canoe trip had to cancel. I can step in and replace one of them, but I think I need another adult along to make it work."
He paused and seemed to be mulling something over in his head. Then, decisively, he began again.
"You know, I bet my friend Kevin, from work, might be willing to go. When I told him about the trip, he said he wished there had been something like that for him when he was young."
"That doesn't mean he would necessarily give up vacation to go canoeing with a bunch of boys," I responded.
"Oh, I think he's jump at the chance. Do you want me to ask and see if he's interested," Paul asked.
Impulsively again, I decided to give it a shot. Paul immediately went to call Kevin. I stood in the hall in sort of a daze. For some reason, Paul seemed to catch me off guard every time. I searched my reactions for any reservations I might have. I didn't feel any. I hoped I wasn't beginning to trust in Paul prematurely. Paul returned with an expression that could only mean he was successful.
"Kevin was thrilled to be asked. He also said he could attend the training this Saturday. Is there anything else he needs to do?"
"We'll cover everything else at the training. Thanks, Paul."
He looked me in the eye for a moment and then gave me one of those grins. At that moment I finally realized why he always seemed to unnerve me. I was attracted to him. Damn. I don't think I want to try explaining that to Eric. It's probably that silly grin he and Jared share, but he flat got to me. Oh well, maybe I would do a better job responding to him now that I had a better feel for what was happening. Paul and I were still standing in the hall when the youth session quit for the evening. As young people of all sizes and descriptions filed out of the room, I noticed Jared walking with Brad Carlisle. They both moved on our direction.
"Hi, Jared," I said. "Hi, Brad."
"Hello, Rev. Williams," Brad sputtered meekly.
"Rev. Williams?" Jared howled. "What's with the Rev. stuff, Brad? Call him Steve."
Brad smiled at me once again. He was quite cute when he smiled. When we finally convinced him that I did in fact want him to call me Steve, the conversation started jumping from one subject to another as only teenage boys can do. Finally, Jared said nonchalantly, that Brad wanted to go on the canoe trip. I had never thought of encouraging him to go. He was so shy and withdrawn. That hadn't stopped Jared. And it looked like Brad actually was interested.
"But I don't think we can afford it," Brad stated dejectedly. "Money's pretty tight with dad in jail."
Jared started in on his dad about paying for Brad's spot. I was finally able to interrupt.
"We have scholarships for the camp, Brad. Your expenses can be covered. Would you be interested in going on the trip?"
"Oh yes. I'd love to go. I've never been before, so I'd have to learn to canoe."
"Nick and I could teach you," Jared beamed. "Nick's family has a canoe."
And so yet another member of our summer excursion was recruited. Jared and Brad seemed to be relating well. If I hadn't been committed to going on this trip before, it was a cinch now. Paul and Jared agreed to drop Brad off at his house. Paul said he would talk with Brad's mother about the trip. Now all I had to do was go home and inform Eric that I booked up two weeks of our relaxing summer.
When I finally made it home, Eric was sitting in the family room reading, wearing only his boxers. As I stood in the doorway, he looked up at me and smiled. Then, tossing aside the book, he stood and walked over to me, putting his arms around me. After a long, deep kiss, he met my eyes.
"Okay, spill it mister. What have you done now?"
I tried to look as innocent as possible, but obviously I wasn't succeeding.
"I can tell by the expression on your face that you're going to tell me something I'm not going to like. Am I right?"
"Well- yes, you're right."
"I wouldn't know where to begin guessing what you've done now," he said, "so spill it."
"Jim Wilson called today. He and Phil can't go on the canoe trip."
Pure terror colored his face. I knew he wouldn't be happy, but I had hoped for a better reaction than I was obviously going to get.
"Tell me you didn't sign me up to be a sponsor," he croaked.
"No. No, I didn't do that. But I did basically agree to go myself."
"I don't have to go?"
"No," I reassured him. "It's just that I wanted us to have a relaxed summer to spend a lot of time together, and this is going to take out a good two weeks before it's over."
"But I don't have to go?"
"No, silly. I know you better than that."
I stretched my arms around him and laid my head on his shoulder. It never occurred to me as a tactic to fake him out with something worse and then let him be relieved with what I had to drop on him. As I held him, I let my hands roam over his back. I was certainly crazy about this guy. Finally, my hands slipped under the band of his boxers and started squeezing his cheeks. This definitely had the desired effect, and soon we were kissing and groping for all we were worth. It was a long time until our usual bedtime, but I didn't mind heading upstairs any ways.
As we lay in bed enjoying the afterglow of our lovemaking, we discussed our plans for the summer. Definitely, more of what we had just done was on the list. What was most important was that we had a chance to really get to know one another. We had certainly made a lot of progress, but long-term relationships need a good foundation. I wanted this summer to focus on building that foundation. Our vacation together would be a big part of that, but it's also important to work out the day-to-day kind of relationship as well. We knew a lot about each other at this point, but we still had a ways to go on predicting what each other were thinking. The trust between us was growing and yet it still felt a little shaky at times.
The next few days went quickly and before long it was time for the first dance. This would be a new precedent for the youth in our program. Everyone was excited and they had definitely been busy inviting others. The night of the dance, there had to be over one hundred excited teenagers standing around in the parking lot. Even traditional dances for young people this age were somewhat difficult to get started. The girls started dancing with each other first. The guys were still hanging back, around the edges. Paul and Carol were chaperoning and Jared had brought Nick. I could see Paul encouraging Jared, but he wasn't budging. Paul looked up and saw me watching. Then, wearing that damned grin, walked directly towards me.
"Steve. The boys seem reluctant to dance."
"Even gay guys have a macho thing," I replied.
"Well, let's get this show on the road," he said, reaching out his hand. "Care to dance?"
Damn that grin. I think he knew I was attracted to him and was doing this to play with my mind. Not to be outdone, however, I took his hand and walked with him to the center of the parking lot. You could hear the murmurs. At that moment, the music changed and a slow song started. I figured he might shy away from that kind of contact, but he took me in his arms and we started to dance.
"Mind if I lead," he asked.
"You might as well," I answered. "You already are."
"I've never danced any other way."
Even as he talked he was able to keep that grin.
"It looks like it's working," he smirked.
"Wh-What," I suavely replied.
"The boys - they're dancing."
Sure enough. When I finally remembered we weren't alone, I looked around and saw at least a dozen couples dancing, including Jared and Nick. Paul's grin changed to a look of pride as he watched his son.
"You really are Okay with Jared aren't you," I queried.
"I can't believe how unhappy he was after my knee-jerk reaction. No father should make his son that unhappy. Look at him. He is truly happy, isn't he?"
"Yes," I said, looking into his eyes. "I don't think there is anything you could have done to make him more happy than supporting him here tonight."
Then he pulled me closer and whispered in my ear.
"Thank you for everything, but especially thank you for helping me get my son back."
"I really didn't do that much," I replied.
"Don't be so modest. My family would be in ruins right now if it weren't for you. And Eric, of course."
As he said this, he looked deep into my eyes. For a moment, I would have sworn he was going to kiss me. The song ended and so did the moment. We slowly stepped apart. I hoped it was dark enough that he wouldn't be able to see the effect he had on me. As we walked to the edge of the parking lot where the refreshments were set out, there were Eric and Carol talking and laughing. That was a good sign. I didn't know if Eric had a jealous streak, but I didn't want to find out in the middle of a church function. Every relationship has to determine what is off limits. Is looking but not touching acceptable? Eric and I had never discussed it, but I assumed our living together meant that were going to monogamous. Maybe that would be a good discussion for one of those summer down times.
The dance was now off and running with all kinds of combinations on the `dance floor.' Loren and Larry were there helping with crowd control, but it wasn't really needed. Everyone was on their best behavior. They probably deduced that getting to have another dance would hinge on how well this event went. At one point there was a line dance that had almost everyone included, even the adults. Larry wasn't involved. He was standing back still looking official. I had declined also. Someone needed to watch the refreshments and keep away the neighborhood cats. Larry walked over to me.
"That was quite a deal," he said, "you and Paul dancing. It seemed to do the trick, though."
"I have to admit I was more than a little surprised, but Paul is an interesting man."
"I could tell you were definitely interested," he chuckled.
"Shit. Could you actually tell?"
"Yea, but I don't think very many noticed."
"Do you think Eric noticed," I asked. "That's what matters."
"I don't think so. He was fairly involved with his sister then. So what gives?"
"He always seems to catch me off guard for some reason. He is an attractive man, and there's something about that grin of his," I confessed.
"His son has the same grin I've noticed," he said with a smirk.
"Most definitely."
"Did Loren notice?"
"Who do you think pointed it out to me," he declared.
"Damn, that means I'm going to here about that for a while."
"Maybe in the future you need to wear a jockstrap to these dances," he said, almost giggling.
"Very funny," I replied indignantly. "Go ahead and have fun at my expense."
Larry laughed a hearty belly laugh. He was one of many people who had come into my life recently who had made my transition to a different lifestyle so much easier. I knew he was a true friend. He had proved that already. In fact almost all of the people who had become important to me were at the dance. As I looked around the parking lot and saw all the joy, I had to pause and give thanks for everything was happening in the church and in my life.
We finally wrapped up the dance and sent the youth home, or wherever they were going. My responsibility for them ended at midnight. They were on their own now. The adults hung around and helped restore the parking lot to its originally intended use. We were all a little tired, but the success of the dance had everybody's spirits high. There were all the thank you's and congratulations for a great event. Eric and I got into his car and started for home.
"So, did you enjoy the dance with Paul?"
So much for discussing this later.
"I was very surprised he suggested it. It did seem to break the ice and get the youth dancing with each other," I answered, hoping still to avoid the real questions.
"Do you always get turned on dancing with a straight guy?"
Well, there we were. I searched his face for a clue as to how he was truthfully reacting. Eventually, he smiled. My heart started beating again.
"That wasn't very nice," I stammered. "You had me really worried."
It was a wonder I hadn't wrecked the car. My hand were shaking as I grasped the steering wheel.
"Sorry. That was kind of cruel wasn't it?"
I would have tried pouting for effect, but I was so relieved that he wasn't angry that all I could do was smile back at him.
"Listen, Steve, I know we haven't talked about any of this," he began, "and maybe tonight isn't the greatest opportunity to do it, but I'm not upset that you are attracted to Paul. I've assumed for some time that the attraction was part of the dynamics between the two of you."
"On my part you mean."
"Actually, I doubt he would admit it, but I'm pretty sure it goes both ways."
I sat there with my mouth wide open. I knew where he was going with this, but my mind couldn't catch up with the conversation. He saw my confusion.
"Me thinks he doth protest too much," he said with his eyebrows arched.
"You mean -"
I was being my typically eloquent self again.
"I would never have thought so at first. But now that he is trying to be more open for Jared's sake, there's something about the way he looks at Jared and Nick when they're together. And of course there's the way he looks at you."
I was still dumbfounded. Usually I was good at picking up these kinds of signals, but I had missed this one. If Eric was right, that is. Since words were failing me, I merely continued to smile at him. I think he enjoyed being one up on me.
"Well, if Paul Langley is interested, he is going to be real disappointed," I finally declared. "I've already got my man, and he's plenty of man for me."
When we left the dance, I would have sworn I was almost dead on my feet. Funny thing. I wasn't at all tired now. And that was good, because when we made it home, Eric wasn't tired either.
The next day was Sunday, and the dance was the talk of the church. The youth were still excited and ready for another one. There was informal discussion about a back-to- school dance. We were of course expected at the Langley house for dinner. Jared was still flying high as a kite. The dance was obviously a success in his opinion.
I thought dinner might be a bit awkward, after the dynamics of the dance. Then it occurred to me that the dynamics at the Langley house were usually intense for one reason or another. This was merely another installment. Eric seemed very relaxed and that was good. There were moments in the last several months when it felt as if I were navigating a minefield. I needn't have worried. Everyone was in a good mood and the atmosphere was comfortable. It was the first time since I met these people that we each appeared to be enjoying ourselves. Paul and Jared were getting along famously. The acceptance had to be genuine. Eric and his sister were obviously closer than ever. Even Eric and Paul were joking around like old buddies.
I offered to help Carol in the kitchen after dinner. The other three men were only too happy to let me take that task. We put away leftovers and filled the dishwasher. Carol turned to me with her eyebrows furled.
"Steve, I need to ask a favor of you."
"Why of course, Carol," I replied. "What can I do for you?"
"I need to have a biopsy done."
"What are you looking at here, Carol," I asked.
"They have discovered a cyst on my liver," she stated. Her eyes never left mine.
"When is the biopsy?"
"It's Tuesday morning. I was wondering if you could be there?"
"Yes," I said. "I'll definitely be there. Will Paul be there as well?"
She finally broke eye contact. So now the true predicament was on the table.
"I thought I might not mention it until after the results are back," she whispered. He's been through so much - we've all been through so much. It's probably nothing anyway. Why should he get upset over nothing?"
"Carol, I try not to tell people what to do. But think about it. He's going to have to know eventually. Either way it works out, don't you think he may feel as if you don't trust him?"
"I hadn't thought about that," she replied. "What about Jared? He's so happy right now."
"Didn't I hear him say he was going over to Nick's?"
"Yes," she said tentatively.
"While he's gone, discuss it with Paul. I trust that the two of you will do what's best."
"I haven't told Eric yet, either," she said sheepishly.
"I think you and Paul need to talk about this between the two of you. Would you mind if I told Eric when we got home?"
"I think he'd understand. Do you know what time the biopsy will be?"
We went on to discuss the particulars of the test. I hadn't realized we had been in the kitchen that long until Jared came in to announce he was leaving. I suggested we leave as well. When we were in the car, Eric began what was becoming an all too familiar location for the third degree.
"So, what did you and Carol talk about for so long in the kitchen?"
Sometimes Eric could beat around the bush until you almost begged him to ask his question. In the front seat of the car recently, he was becoming laser accurate. Since I was driving again this time, I felt it was safe to proceed. There wasn't anything to be gained by waiting.
"She's having a medical procedure on Tuesday, and she wanted to hear my perspective on some things."
"Why didn't she tell me," he asked, almost accusatorial.
"Babe. This has to do with Paul. She's telling him right now. That's what we were discussing: whether or not she should tell him before the test or wait until the results are known. We decided I would tell you so she and Paul could be alone."
I could tell he was resisting the reasoning of my argument, but was also begrudgingly beginning to accept. Then the issue of the order of notification was quickly replaced with the weightier matters involved.
"What's she having done," Eric almost whined. "What's wrong with her?"
Up until that moment, I had been focused on Carol's dilemma as to whether or not to involve Paul. I also knew Eric would be a little upset about not being told by Carol herself. What I hadn't let sink in yet was the real fear he would have. Carol was his life-long ally and pillar of strength. In times like these, I often think of having to take off a bandage. Do you do it quickly and get the pain over as fast as possible, or do you go slowly and gently. I went for the rip and pull.
"She has a cyst on her liver and they are doing a biopsy to determine what it is."
His face went pale. I began to question the wisdom of my approach, especially in the car. I was about to pull the car to the side and park when finally he regained his composure.
"With the liver involved that could be very bad couldn't it," he said softly.
He was the science teacher, but he knew I had quite a bit of experience in waiting rooms. I started with rip and pull so I might as well complete it.
"If it's cancer, involving the liver is a very bad sign. Of course they don't know that it's cancer. That's why they want to do a biopsy."
Eric became very quiet. This was going to be a lot for him to process. Suddenly, he looked straight at me.
"I want to be there on Tuesday," he said almost menacingly.
"I'm sure Carol would expect that. You won't have any problem getting a sub for your classes will you?"
"Or do you want to be alone with Paul," he accused.
Instantly I was defensive. So many responses flashed through my mind. Fortunately, none of them came out of my mouth. I couldn't think of a positive thing to say, so I focused on my driving. I could hear him fuming beside me, but I knew any wrong comment from me would only escalate the situation. We arrived home, but neither of us got out of the car. I was still at a loss for words. Sometimes helpers like ministers, use up all the patience and understanding on others and don't leave enough in reserve for the people closest to them. Eric broke the silence.
"I'm sorry, Steve. I'm upset about Carol, but I shouldn't have jumped all over you. I do trust you and I'm not actually jealous of Paul."
Still unsure of what to say, I reached over and pulled him into a hug. In a matter of seconds, we were both crying.
The next morning, the Monday morning routine was the furthest thing from my mind as I was still struggling with the question of Carol's prognosis. Eric, Jared, and Paul had all made such progress and were each finally able to enjoy one another. Sometimes the cynic in me wondered why moments of happiness always seem to be the harbingers of bad news. Suddenly, Loren broke through my haze.
"What is it, chief? You certainly aren't focused on what I've been saying."
We were in my office, so presumably we should have been going over the calendar. Probably Loren was doing that very thing.
"I'm sorry, Loren," I began. "Carol gave us some unsettling news yesterday, and I can't seem to get my mind off of it."
"Can you tell me what it was?"
That was just like Loren. Always aware of the question of confidentiality, Loren never failed to acknowledge that there were bits of information I couldn't share.
"Yes, Loren, you're like one of the family anyway. She is having a biopsy of a cyst on her liver tomorrow. They have no idea what to expect, but it's human I guess to expect the worse."
Loren stepped around behind me and began massaging my shoulders. I hadn't even realized how tense I was.
"And now," Loren said softly, "when you finally had that family pulled together."
Leave it to Loren to zero in on exactly what I was thinking. All of a sudden, I became aware of the fact that I was sobbing. Loren continued to work the muscles in my shoulders. This wasn't supposed to be about me. But Loren knew what few others did, that any grief still touched my own. I had already lost one family, and I couldn't help but think about how all this would affect me. In this inner sanctum, with my most trusted confidant, I cried for myself and let Loren comfort me. Eventually, I regained my composure. Loren smiled at me and sat back down.
"Did you see that the city fathers in all their wisdom decided again to disallow health coverage for unmarried partners," Loren added. "They even had the gall to specify that commitment ceremonies and sacred unions won't count as married."
As a police officer's partner-to-be, this was more than a political discussion for Loren. I learned early on, that when Loren was on a roll, interrupting wasn't a wise decision. I did what I do best: listened.
"Councilman Roberts will screw anything with tits, and he thinks he can preach morals to me. I'm tempted to go to that bar where he hangs out and let him put the moves on me. He'd get a surprise or two. I'd tie that little dick of his in a knot."
I chose not to ask for the source on that last bit of information. I was supposed to be listening anyway. Loren had never been one to give in to bigots. The sense of resignation I was hearing struck me as unusual.
"Loren," I asked, "Is something else bothering you? Roberts has always been a jerk. I know we lobbied hard for this health care clause, but we knew the odds were against us. It's an election year. Politicians run scared in an election year."
"Larry and I were talking about how much easier it would make our financial situation if I could be on his insurance."
"Have you two set a date for a commitment service," I queried.
"No," Loren answered, looking down at an expensive pair of burgundy leather pumps.
"Is there a problem?"
"He says he's worried about the finances. Like what the hell difference does that make? It's not like we have to put kids through college or anything. We may not be well off, but we won't have any more without a ceremony."
"Do you think there's another reason," I asked.
"I think he's unsure of what it might mean for him at work. And I can understand that. But he doesn't want to talk about the force."
"Be patient with him. He's new to the idea of this kind of relationship."
"I know," Loren replied dejectedly.
"Why don't you ask him to come in with you and we can sit down and talk about it. You might as well address this now," I said.
"Okay, we'll do that," Loren replied. "Do you want to start over with the calendar?"
"Screw the calendar. I get the feeling it's going to be one of those weeks when the calendar goes out the fucking window."
I usually didn't swear around the church, but my attitude had the desired effect. Loren grinned mischievously.
"Speaking of windows," Loren began, "did I tell you about the peeping tom?"
"No," I answered. "Where?"
"At Larry's house. I noticed this young kid hanging around the neighborhood. I'm pretty good at noticing when people are gawking at me. Well Larry and I were in the front room and we were doing a fair game of tonsil hockey. Then I noticed this kid behind a tree in the yard, looking right in the window. I said something to Larry and he wanted to go run him off the property. I said I had a better idea, and I started undressing him right there in front of the window. I thought his eyes were going to pop out of their sockets he was so surprised. He started to complain, but I wouldn't let go of his tongue. In a little while he was way too turned on to argue that he wasn't into it. And when I say he was into it, we certainly gave that kid something to watch."
"Why you little exhibitionist, you," I snickered.
"Me?" Loren asked. "The surprise was mister propriety performing for all he was worth."
We were both laughing and I realized that Loren had once again lifted my spirits. I know a lot of professionals are dependent on their secretaries, but my connection with Loren went way past any of that. Our symbiotic relationship made us a damn fine team. When we finally regained our composure, I decided to give Carol a call. We rarely went to their house during the week, but I decided this deserved to be an exception. She was very open to our coming.
That evening, around the dinner table, the mood was very somber. Carol had told me on the phone that they had informed Jared about what was happening. He was definitely scared. We were all scared.
"Listen people," I began. "Fears aren't any less real if they're unspoken. We all know that we are afraid of tomorrow. But we have each other. My mother always used to say `never borrow worry or trouble.' There is no reason not to be optimistic tonight. The chances are very good that the cyst is benign. If it's not, then we'll face that when we come to it."
With that, everyone including myself began to cry. We weren't necessarily being optimistic, but we were being more honest. Eric brought up a memory of he and his sister getting through a rough time and a whole litany of remembrances began. It was an emotional night, but at least we were talking. As the evening wound down, Jared excused himself to go to bed. I hadn't realized how late it had become. Carol and Eric were locked in an intense sibling moment. That left Paul and I.
"Steve," Paul said, "I don't know what this family would do without you."
"And I don't know what I would do without this family," I replied.
Then he took me in his arms and we held each other as if to draw strength from one another. Soon Carol and Eric were through and Paul let go of me. We all reluctantly said good night and Eric and I drove home. It was going to be a restless night for many, but I had no idea how restless it could get.
Comments are appreciated. bccccand@hotmail.com