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Michael and Andrew Chapter 3
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Recap
"I saw him rose, he's a part of the mythology club, I should have known, god I feel so stupid." That's when I started looking around me and I knew where I was, it was my little piece of heaven I had when I wanted to get away from life. A dead-end road with a huge willow tree right at the end. "... I'm at the willow." I don't know why or how I ended up here but the place was calm and a place where I could just get away from it all. "Look Michael just stay there I'll be there to get to you, please don't do anything stupid." I hope she got here soon I was still uneasy and felt like shit, I hope she gets here soon.
Life is not giving me a break, constantly throwing shit my way. But I was determined that I wouldn't break under the pressure and I hoped that I could deal with Eric. I still couldn't believe that I had forgotten that he was president of the mythology ever since they arrived. Well, we did come from different schools but he was in most of my classes first semester. he was a god to me, perfect in every way his onyx black hair, light green eyes, and his body made drool in more than one place. I secretly watch from a far never really talked to him, well that was until the second week into the first semester then things kicked off. Little did I know the spaceship I boarded was heading straight for the sun, ignorance is bliss but for how long?
Didn't take rose even five minutes to find me and come dashing from her car, tackling me to the ground and not letting go. I knew I scared her with running away and not answering her calls, I was so going to have to apologize after this. Her hug, or more like industrial grip, was warm and full of strength, I loved the feeling because it made me feel safe, secure, and at peace. When we sat back up she looked up at me and I knew she was wanting answers so. Before I could get barraged by her assault of questions I gave her the entire run down.
"He better not try and fuck with you Michael, I can't, no I won't stand for it I again. Saw the damage, after he left you... you were a mess, a fucking Humpty dumpty that shattered, then had all his pieces grounded into dust by a stampede of elephants." Well, this was the rose that would sometimes make feel like a younger brother then best friend. Also her analogies are pretty much on point I was such a fucking mess and in fact, what she doesn't know won't kill her but the real reason that I tried to kill myself after the "breakup", more like thrown in the trash as his broken toy he got bored with, but Eric was the person that had convinced me to try to commit suicide afterwards, he even gave me the knife and a pile of rope. Talk about a fucked-up decision, then he left forever I thought until just an hour ago.
"Look rose thanks again for being here for me, and I'm sorry I scared you I just was mentally shocked and mortified. He really is a monster and unfortunately, I don't think he's done with me quite yet, he took his aim and found his new target." Eric did and now a giant target was painted on my back just screaming "right here". "We both know once he sets his mind to it he gets it done, I mean he's a fucking low life scumbag, sadistic, bastard but I have to respect the determination he has, and be completely scared shit less of his ability to get the job finished no matter the cost." He was ruthless, if he had to kick a baby he would, if he had to beat the shit out of you he would, though he would never kill anyone the pain that he inflicted was more than adequate to satisfy his hunger.
"Well he lays a finger on you and I will rain holy hell down on him, and he will be drawing back a fucking nub. I have never let anyone get away with treating you like shit and I'm not about to now." Again, I was the cool-headed one, she could be pissed for both of us is what I thought before I knew it she was grabbing my arm and pulling me towards her car. No need to fight or I might be drawing back the nub so I relented and followed her to the car. It was a short drive to the campus, and as soon as we parked in the lot my stomach was churning, but this timed I was going to listen. I learned the hard way when your body is telling you something you better listen because it's trying to help you and it doesn't like to repeat itself. I got out of the car and shut it rose took one look at and me new this was going to be one hell of a trip to my dorm room. She listened to my gut feeling more than I did, almost as if she was attached to me at the hip.
"Please tell me he doesn't know where I live I moved to were the frat kids were so he couldn't find me if he came back." Shit did I just say that aloud but she just nodded and we walked into the lobby of the dorm and when I saw mark I felt so relieved, ha that was a joke right there not even two seconds in the progress to the stairs there he was. Persistent little prick, I had this internal monolog that was just furious, pissed, and in a rage while my mind was wetting itself like a small child. I didn't know which would win but I wasn't going to find out. One, two, three... just keep walking don't stop, but don't run bad shit happens when I try to run, especially upstairs god I hated stairs. But his words cut through the air, it was chill and compelling. No, I wasn't going to listen to him la, la, la, la, ok maybe not so childish just calm down and walk, just breath and walk easily right everyone could do it just breathe and walk. Well, that lasted for about a few seconds before the plan spontaneously combusted into flames and just like that, back to square one and I couldn't avoid him he knew where I lived now. So with the best of ability, I tried to act all cool and not care.
"So, Michael, you didn't answer me before do you want to join the mythology club or not?" his so matter of fact pissed rose off ugh this was going to be harder than getting bitten by a shark while getting hit by lighting, while winning the power ball all at the same time. Then immediately I was so afraid if he knew were my new roommate or the guy he was talking with all three of their life's would be utter hell.
"I must think about it, Eric. I was just dropping rose off and then heading out." Please let him believe my bluff oh please just once the world pity me. "Oh, really you sure because mark here said that this is where you lived sweetheart." Well it was worth a shot, and I'm so giving mark an earful after this, now I had to tread carefully and what the fuck did he just call me sweetheart da fuck! "Crap you got me so let's be clear I'm not your sweetheart, you need to stop following me and last off how in the hell did you find out which dormed I lived in!?"
"Well look who found their voice again, you know how much I love your voice. Though I don't know why you can't still be my sweetheart you now I love and lastly how I found out is my secret." Well, great his charm was just as deadly as I walked in his honey covered slur of words that got me trapped in the first place. As for everyone else around me I could only sense Eric he was the predator and if for one second I turned my back are worried about something else there he would be going straight for the jugular.
"Well look..."
"No, you are going to listen to me Michael, because I still have something that you want and I already know that you're getting a new roommate so make this easy for me before I start adding collateral damage to the list of things I might end up doing to get my lover back." Lover, ya right more like a favorite rag doll, slave, recessive partner. He also knew how attached I get and this was my biggest downfall because some were deep down inside, some fucking stupid part of me wants him, urges for him. I was defiantly going to have a talk with myself as crazy as that sounds. "What do you want, I now you want something so just spit it out." I was now in no mood for his shit he just threatened my new roommate, shit my turn around, in general, I was not letting this little bastard, ruin what I had going for me. "Well first off, please put that dog of a girl on a shorter leash such hostility, the second I know you're talking to someone so end it, third come back to me, and lastly join the mythology club. Those are my demands so what's it going to be my dear little Michael?" Well, that was the weirdest and unnerving feeling ever. Also, the most infuriating thing he about said to me so now I was mad, no beyond mad I was pissed to the point of no return.
"Go fuck yourself, Eric, you know the reason you could never find anyone else is because your trash and that's beside the fact your small endowment you couldn't make anyone feel anything with that. No wonder you have such a top complex because if anyone knew how small you were you couldn't be a top for even if it was for shits and giggles. Also, talk about pathetic crawling back to someone you know would be the only person to ever look at you without gagging though trust me that's a challenge as is." Wow ok, internal monolog just became external monolog and well ya there was no going back. I took my shots and well I don't what happened after that Because I stormed off to my room before I would get physical the very timid I used to know nowhere to be seen. Instead, it was if rose jumped in for a joy ride but those thoughts were my own. If it was anyone else I wouldn't have insulted their manhood that was a respect thing but well ya I don't think inner me gave a flying shit. I was up to the stairs in record time and in my room, I locked the door even though Eric could pick the lock if he really wanted to I could give a fuck less. God, I swear If I ever started a swear jar I would be out of some serious cash.
Just as I predicted guess who popped into my room I was drying off, and I knew he was in my room, god was this day never going to end. I came out in nothing but my towel I didn't give a fuck I was kicking him out I couldn't have him near me anymore. There he was, his eyes red but I wasn't falling for that trick.
"Get out now I don't care what you want or what you're here for just get the fuck out before I do something we might both regret." Did I just threaten someone well this was different but for some reason, every scared thought that popped into my head only fueled my anger? But I was caught so off-guard that I couldn't even speak.
"Michael would you please just listen to me, I just want to talk. why do you have to be so mean to me what happened to you to make you such a prick." Ugh! Fuck, fuck, fuck that side of me with feelings kept growing in strength and I knew I couldn't be so angry at someone so distraught. No! god damnit, this is such a shitty attempt to win me over again. But his face, those tears, ugh fine I will at least hear him out.
"Look just tell me what's wrong." I was losing my anger and at this point, it was my only tool to fight him with. It was now diminishing and instead regret and guilt and sadness for being such an ass. But I did it because I know the person he was, still is?
"Look your right I'm sorry for being an ass Eric that's not like me, I shouldn't have been like that so what's on your mind, you know you can tell me anything." Then just like that I sat down right next to him like old pals, he looked uneasy but when he got comfortable he started talking.
"Thank you, I know you would come around and I want to tell you that I still love you, please reconsider please take me back I don't even have any friends anymore. My life did a complete 180 and I can't seem to get out of this rut." You know the more I listened to him the more I felt bad for him and my stomach wasn't churning so maybe he was telling the truth maybe he changed for the better. We talked for a while and before I knew it we were laughing and flirting, ugh we were flirting where was this going I hated him and feared him now I was fucking flirting with him snap out of it Michael. He was the first to make a move and I didn't fight back but let him. Our lips met and our mouths opened and our tongues explored what had long been lost for a while. He tasted better than before, lemon with a hint of mint. I was turning soon and there went my towel as I got on top of him. It felt so empowering to be on top, to be able to drive the motion of the act. Then there was that churning of the stomach but I couldn't listen to, but I should don't let little brain start making bad decisions for you now. I was so entranced caught up in the moment and physical pleasure. Then as we came back up for air from our make out session he lowered himself down, and further he went but as he did he brought his lips to my chest gently brushing over my torso's definition with his lips and tongue. Spending time on my naval, the sheer amount of pleasure almost sending me crumbling on top of him but he held me up till I could handle it myself. When he reached my fully erect cock, he went down on the tip kissed it and then he started laughing. Now my stomach was about to double me over in pain, this was bad and I knew I had walked straight into his trap.
Before I could get off him I felt him jab something into my inner thigh, I became dizzy and then tired, and then I crashed. Either I was dreaming or me in and out of conscious I was in excruciating pain. I knew I let myself down, why did I have to be so caring, so attached, and why had he wanted me and some part of me wanted him. When I finally came to I was in my room with someone spooning with me, I was shaping into his chest. This man's arm draped over me I felt safe, secure, and loved. But when I breathed in through my nostrils my stomach did cartwheels and I knew this was never going to end like always. I turned around and there he was staring me in eyes as we came face to face.
"you know you're so cute when you sleep, and you're so warm, so soft, so fragile I just want to keep you next to me." So you could break me yourself, I felt used betrayed and pissed not just at him but at myself why in the fuck would I fall for him again. No! I didn't fall for him it was just a onetime thing and what it was, it was also now over. I got out bed and ignored him, going through my daily routines as if he wasn't there, it would have worked if he didn't start talking like really what the fuck.
"You can only ignore me for so long and I didn't even try to have sex with you I just wanted to cuddle you know..."
"Well then let me address the issue at the source, I want you to leave my room, get the fuck out of my sight, and never talk to me again. You used me, betrayed the trust I gave you, well not again I went down this road before and I won't do it again. Get the fuck out and don't come back." I wasn't speaking as if I was pissed I didn't care anymore but to be honest it was a tone full of indifference and annoyance. He went quiet and then he got out of the bed, still fully dressed and walked out. I survived this time but next time I won't be as lucky, but he looked to be crying as he left, no its just him playing with me. Though I can't believe I just did that ugh what is wrong with me. Rose came in after about an hour looking all worried because I didn't show up for class. I decided to skip classes today was not interested in going to class only to wonder aimlessly in my head about what I just did and let myself do.
"Look rosemary I need to talk to you." I never used her full name unless I was dead serious and I was I need my listening rock, and here she was. "Look he came into my room last night... we talked and I was truly believing that maybe he changed his eyes, he was really crying. I couldn't stay pissed at him so I listened to him and we started talking, that lead to us laughing and the flirting. God damn rose I flirted with him, but... but that's not the worst of it I..." I was now crying no longer keeping full sentences, a mess, a really big mess. She didn't judge me, or get angry with me she just held me, never letting me go.
"Look, Michael, you don't need to tell me I can guess what happened next and no I now u didn't have sex. Look your you're not messed up, your just kind to a fault. Never hate yourself because you try to be the best person you can, but on the other hand, you need to learn that sometimes you need to be selfish in your life. I can see why you didn't come to classes and I can already guess you're not going to class for a while so just relax okay you're not messed up and you're not a bad person." She knew how to make me feel better but this wasn't just about him, it was about my boyfriend Andrew I couldn't betray him like that I felt like such shit.
"You don't understand rose I'm dating Andrew now and when he gets here this week what am I supposed to say to him, sorry I just tried to have pity sex with me abusive ex from last semester no problems here, love you to honey. Like how is that going to wor..." She put her pointer finger to my mouth and shushed me, I couldn't look at her I knew I fucked up what was I going to do. I was afraid to look at her and see the disappointment in her eyes, but when she raised my chin up and I looked at her she didn't look disappointed but instead caring. We didn't talk after that, not because it got weird but almost if our brains were on the same wavelengths. I knew I had to talk to Andrew so I did, when the call was finished I didn't know what to think he seemed disappointed, but there was this feeling that he didn't know what was going on so he said we would talk about when he got here in person. I felt so dead, and then I worried was he going to break up with me in person instead of over the phone. Was he already a better person than I was I couldn't even keep my hands to myself and here he was going to possibly forgive me for my almost infidelity, or possible break up with me in person.
I couldn't sleep all week, my nerves were on edge fearing Eric might pop back up, and I was sick feeling like utter crap I was tossing and turning and when I didn't have a killer migraine, I was throwing up. I wouldn't eat, I barely drank anything and I never left my room never did I once go to class but rose emailed all my professors that I had come down bad with the stomach bug and got all my work that I missed not to mention stayed with me and help take care of me. This Saturday I was probably in my worst condition, but it helped rose stayed the night with me and all I could think was what was my roommate going to think of me what was he going to see that would make him hate me just like my boyfriend, I was sure that he was breaking up with me. That's when I heard a knock at the door so, I knew I couldn't avoid it anymore so I walked up to the door and opened and I thought I was dreaming and then that dream just went hardcore nightmare because there he was and I started crying and ran out away from everything like I did before my emotions betraying me once again.
Sorry it took so long but here it is just moved into the dorms and found my creative spark again. I would like to thank all my friends and people who help me edit and kill my inner critic.