---------- Michael's Secret Chapter 8
July 7, 2000
Written By: Justin Case
Disclaimer: This story is pure fiction; it was created by the author for your enjoyment. If anything you read here resembles your life, you are lucky. The names and places have been changed, to protect the integrity of the persons and communities this story is really about. Now, this story may contain graphic gay sex. Can you handle it? If not, too bad. You are cautioned not to try these things at home, you may not recover. The story and everything in between is protected by the author. You are on your own.
Words from our Author: Hey, WASSUP? Did you miss me? I missed you. It is sooo good to be back here. May I have your attention, please? Will the real Slim Shady please stand up? Is Slim even reading this? I don't know, I do know you are here.
I was up to Lake Luzerne, NY for the fourth of July. We had a great time, except when we went to Lake George to see the fireworks. There was no parking anywhere. If you saw that burgundy Sebring driving up and down Route 9, between eight and nine (the main drag of Lake George) with DMX blasting, it was me and my boy. I tried to park at Fort William Henry; nothing was left, so we ended up watching the fireworks on television. The only drawback was, the ones on TV were fired off in Albany.
Well, it's life, isn't it? If you don't like it, change.
Oh yeah, by the way, before I began this chapter I had to go back and review what I had already written. While doing that, I discovered we have two different descriptions of Eugene, one in Chapter 4 and a different one in Chapter 5. Let's stick to the Chapter 4 description - 5'6", 115 lbs, brown eyes and brown curly hair. We'll let him keep the perfect teeth. OK?
I hung the phone up. I stood in my room motionless for a few moments while I thought to myself about Eugene. Why had I not stayed with him? Why didn't I go to him? Instead, I went to have sex. I felt so guilty. I had to tell James, I had no choice. This was too much for me to handle alone.
"Mom!" I yelled from my room for my mother.
"Mom, come quick!" I yelled again.
"What is it, Mike? Why are you yelling at me?" My mother's voice came from the living room.
I could hear her footsteps as she came down the hall to my bedroom. I could see her in my mind. She was walking briskly down the hall; I heard her as she turned the knob to my door. I saw the door open into the room; it was like time had slowed to almost a stop.
"What^Òs the problem, honey?" my mom asked.
"It's Eugene, his mom just told me he's in the hospital. She wanted to know if you could go and watch the kids for her," I spurted out.
"Is he all right, is it serious?" Mom asked with total sincerity.
"I don't really know," was all I could say. I didn't want to go into the story his mother had told me, not just yet.
"Well, I'll call Mrs. Bellevue right back. Of course I'll watch her children," Mom said as she reached for my bedroom phone.
I could hear her punch the keys to the phone. My heart was beating a mile a minute inside my chest, I could hear the beats in my ears. I was terrified, I was afraid for Eugene. I looked out my bedroom window, but didn't see anything. My thoughts were racing too fast for me to concentrate on anything.
"Hello, Sue. I'll be right up. Is there anything I can bring? Will everything be all right with Eugene?" I heard my mother say into the phone. I heard her set the receiver down.
"Michael, I'll be home as soon as possible. Please let your father know where I am. I will call you later. Be good. I love you," Mom said, as she kissed me on the cheek. I heard her close the back door. I remained motionless.
"Ring, ring," I heard my phone ringing; it was somewhere in the distance. I suddenly realized it had been ringing for a minute. I reached for it with my nimble fingers.
"Hello?" I asked into the phone.
"Hey, love, how's it hanging?" James's sweet voice came into my ear.
"Oh, James, I am so confused. Can you come over right away, please? I need to see you," I said into the phone.
"Give me a few, I'll be right over, babe," I heard him say.
"K, love you, bye," I said as I took the phone away from my face and placed it back in its cradle.
I didn't know what I was going to tell him when he arrived. My mind was still racing. I couldn't help feeling this was all my fault. I couldn't shake this horrible feeling. I had felt guilty after the trip home from Portland Mall. I felt guilty when James told me about the movie 'Hope Floats'. I felt guilty now because of Eugene. Why didn't I just tell James everything from the start?
I decided to change my clothes; after all, we may go visit Eugene in the hospital, I thought. How was I going to explain all this to James? Was I going to explain it all to him? I was so afraid to tell him the truth. I wondered how he'd react. I began to rehearse what I was going to say, in my mind.
'Well, you see, James...' Or I could try, 'James, you know I love you more than anything in the whole world.' Nah, too cliche-sounding. I wanted it to be from the heart. 'James, I've been meaning to tell you that Eugene gave me a hand job the other day in your car' Oh yeah, could you imagine the reaction to that? I had to think of the right way to express my feelings for James, and also come clean with my cheating on him. I owed it to him. I just had to come up with the best way to say it.
I heard the knock on my back door. My heart began to pound; my mind was clear, though. I had a certain amount of courage; don't ask me where it came from all of a sudden, but it was there. I went to the door. I could see James on the porch through the back door window, he was all smiles. My heart sank a little. 'Here we go,' I thought to myself as I opened the door.
"Hey, Buddy, thanks for coming so quickly," I said.
"No problem. Are we alone?" James asked as he came into the kitchen.
"Yeah, Mom went to the Bellevues' and Dad is working late," I responded.
"What's up? You sounded so serious on the phone. Is everything all right?" James asked me as we walked down the hall to my bedroom.
"James, I don't know where to begin. I just don't know how to tell you what I have to tell you," I said, still fumbling around with the correct way to tell him the truth.
"Michael, you know you can trust me. You can tell me anything; it won't change how I feel about you. Is it bad, are you sick or something?" James was asking me as he sat on the bean bag chair.
"No, it's nothing like that. It's, well..." I stopped speaking. I looked him in the eyes and sat on my bed.
"Go ahead, Mikey," James sweetly said to me.
"Oh, James, Eugene is gay. He tried to commit suicide, he's in love with me. He actually jerked me off in the back seat of your car the other night when we were coming home from the Mall. I'm so sorry." I blurted it all out, just like that. It was over; the silence was deafening.
James looked up at me from the bean bag chair. I could see the expression on his face; it went from concern to fear. He looked at me for at least a minute before saying a word.
"You mean, Eugene didn't know about us? He finds you attractive, and can't have you, so he tried to kill himself? Or is he just embarrassed because he's gay?" James asked. He always has that way to cut through the bullshit and get right to the point.
"I don't really know. He told me he loved me, that he has for some time. I told him that I couldn't love him in return, as I already had a love in my life. I didn't really explain, I didn't tell him about us," I replied.
"Well, if he doesn't know about us, and he told you how he felt, he must feel rejected. We need to go to him, we need to be there for him. Where is he?" James asked, so matter-of-factly.
"His mom said he was in the Portland Hospital. We'll need to call and make sure he can have visitors," I said, thinking we would go to the hospital together.
"I'll call my mom, she'll take you to see him," James said.
"What do you mean? Take ME? Aren't you going to see him?" I asked.
"No, I think it would be best if you went alone. After all, he loves you. You need to see him and explain the truth to him. Michael, you need to tell him the whole truth, including about us," James said, and then he reached his right hand to mine and stroked my palm.
"Will you at least come along? I mean, you're not going to make me ride alone with your mom, are you?" I asked, a little fear mounting inside of me.
"Nah, babe, I'll be there with you. I just think it's best you talk to Eugene one on one. I'll come for support, you know you can count on me," James responded, as he continued stroking my hand with his.
I sat on my bed, looking into his baby blues. Oh, how I loved him. I never realized how much I could love another human being until then. James looked into my eyes. I saw him moving toward me. I felt his soft cheek rub against my own. I reached up with my left hand and held his face close to mine.
"I love you, Michael. You must have felt so guilty about what Eugene did. Is that when you got sick?" James whispered into my ear.
"Mm hmm," I said, as I kissed his lips.
He took his right hand from mine, and placed it under my chin. He held my chin in his hand as he looked into my eyes and said, "Michael, I love you. I will always love you."
We kissed so tenderly, a long gentle kiss.
Well, true to form, I will leave you here. How's the ride? Are you enjoying it? I hope so. If you feel so compelled, give me a shout. Justin69SK@aol.com