Mile High Part 3
Chris lay naked in the back of the police car, hands cuffed behind his back, the blanket the officer had thrown around him forgotten on the floor. He was a failure. His dreams, like his life, just so much junk strewn around the front yard of his former home, he thought bitterly. They might as well tattoo 'loser' on his forehead. His dad didn't want him any more! He had nothing! Even Kelvin, the person he had begun to realize he had fallen in love with, wouldn't want him around any more. First he had failed him and now...now, all he could bring his friend was more trouble. He had no control over anything in his life, he felt, except that he was alive. Silently he allowed the new wave of despair to wash over him.
The officer came out of the small house, a paper bag in hand. Typical 'domestics' call, he thought. Things go to hell at someone's house, the police get called, and nobody on either side says a word. Well, at least the kid would have something to wear. He threw the bag in the back of the car and reached in to unlock the cuffs.
"Christopher!" he addressed the silent teenager in the back, "Get dressed!" "Is there anyone we can call?"
"No," Chris whispered, the trauma of rejection clear in his voice.
The officer scowled at the teen. Chris wasn't under arrest but the officer knew they would be called back to this house. "If I come out here again," he whispered to himself, "someone is going to jail."
"Come with me!" He pulled Chris from his cruiser and led the silent boy towards the house. All they could do was try to put the fear of God, jail anyway, into these two. Oh well, the officer shrugged, three more hours of paperwork and he'd be home. His shift should have ended almost an hour ago. Another Saturday morning shot to hell.
Chris numbly listened to the threat-laden speech from the officer, dimly aware of his father sitting across the room. Neither could look at the other. A few minutes after the officer left, Chris got his wallet and keys.
"Chris?" his dad asked quietly, "Where you going?"
"Nowhere," Chris answered as he left. Yeah, like you give a shit, he thought.
Kelvin slowly padded out of the bathroom of his hospital room, trying to move around, using his legs alone. He was quickly learning to his painful dismay just how often he used his chest muscles, aggravating his rib fractures doing everyday normal things. Still, it felt great, not needing a bedpan, and pissing standing up, oh and clothes were good too. He could live with the tradeoff. His doctor told him he would be home soon as long as he continued to improve. He couldn't wait!
He needed some time with no interruptions. Time to think about everything that had happened to him, time to face going back to the school where all this started, and time to be with Chris. "God," where had that thought come from? More and more he found himself thinking about Chris. Even though they didn't say the word exactly, they had admitted to each other they were gay! They had always been close during the summers Chris had been allowed to be there and now he was going to be there all the time. Kelvin felt giddy as he slowly came to the realization that his love for his old friend Chris was being replaced by a different love. He was in love with Chris! He couldn't wait for Chris to drop by that morning like he said he would. His one true friend, the only one who had bothered to visit.
Kel's smile diminished. But what if he didn't feel the same way? He just moved from a big city. What if he had somebody already? He had to, didn't he? After all, Houston was so huge compared to this place. What if?...what if?...what if?
"Fuck!" Kelvin swore to no one in particular. All the 'what ifs' were going to drive him crazy. He was just going to have to ask.
"Not even after a dinner and a movie!" a familiar smiling voice from the doorway said.
Kel turned and saw his oldest brother, James Jr., standing at the door. He was dressed in his khaki cadet uniform complete with his deep reddish brown (maroon, Kel corrected himself) knee high boots. "Huh?" Kelvin said, amazed at his ability to communicate.
"Well, you said Fuck', and I said, not even after a dinner....'" James Jr. began.
"I know that," Kelvin replied, already exasperated. "Why the uniform?" "Where's Brian?"
"Well, seeing as you never get off your lazy ass to come see me, I figured I'd give you the whole treatment," Jim said as he turned completely around. "Brian went for coffee; he'll be here in a sec." Jim leaned closer. "Actually, with all these nurses around, he's probably trying to get into all their pants at the same time."
"Well, he'd better be careful," Kel said, thinking of what he'd been through. "They just might shove something up his dick!"
"Ha, he'd probably enjoy it," Jim said.
"Enjoy what?" Brian yawned cautiously as he entered the room . It had been a long fourteen-hour drive from College Station.
"Don't ask," his brothers replied.
Jim looked at his littlest brother seriously for a moment. "We hear you've had some problems."
Kelvin thankfully remembered that his parents had told them everything over the phone yesterday.
"Yeah, runt," Brian leaned forward, smiling, and continued in his best conspiratorial whisper, "So tell us, who's the lucky guy?" The news from his parents had come as a shock but he had something new to tease his little brother about.
Kelvin groaned inwardly, looking at his brothers. Leave it to Brian to throw the fox in with the chickens. This was going to be another long day!
"Ready to go home, Bud?" Kel's parents asked as they came in. "Doc said he'd kick you loose tonight."
Kelvin was exhausted by the time his parents came in that afternoon and shooed his brothers out of the room. His conversation with his brothers had gone on and on, only stopping when Kel tried calling Chris at his house. Kelvin was worried. "Yeah, dad, can't wait. Have you heard anything from Chris this morning? He said he was going to come by today and I haven't seen him."
"No, but I'm sure he's OK. He probably went to look into that job we talked about," his dad replied.
"But he said he would come by this morning. I called his house; there was no answer. What if his dad really did throw him out?" Kelvin just couldn't help it. The more he thought about it, he was sure something had to be wrong!
"Look, when we talked last night, I told him to call me if anything happened." James looked at the concern on his son's face. "OK, OK, if you want, I'll call Charles's shop. I'm sure he's there." James picked up the phone in the room and after a second, OOPS, no speed dial, completed the call. "Hey, Charles, this is James. Is Chris there?"
Kelvin watched as his dad's lips suddenly grew thin and pale. Kel felt the hairs on the back of his neck rising.
"Charles! How could you? He's your flesh and blood!" "What do you mean, `what do I want you to do?'" James placed his free hand on his son's shoulder, willing him to relax. "We've got to find him, that's what!" This whole conversation was absurd to Kelvin's father. "OK, he can't get very far; you stay there in case he shows up, I'll look." James slammed the phone back in its cradle. "DAMN IT ALL TO HELL!" James released his frustration, causing a couple of nurses to look up into the room, trying to make sure everything was all right.
"Dad?" "James?" "What is it? his family asked.
"Chris and Charles had a fight this morning and he took off." James looked at his wife as he held onto his son. "He couldn't have gone too far; according to Charles, he didn't have much gas and left without any money." James looked his son in the eyes. "We need to find him. Any ideas where he could be, where his favorite places to go are?"
"I'm going with you." Kelvin winced as his ribs let him know they were still there. Chris was in trouble, he just knew it, and he was stuck in this stupid hospital!
"No, you're not, that's final!" James forestalled his son's protests. "Com'on, Kel, where did you two hang out?"
As he drove away from the center of town, James hoped he could pull this off. In a big city what he wanted would have been impossible. But here he had a chance.
Christopher sat looking through the fence at the sparsely populated ramp at the small terminal building where he and Kel had spent so much time. Just two `airport rats' watching the planes come and wondering where they were going. He didn't want to be anywhere any more. The stupid bushes that passed for trees out here wouldn't do. Besides, he had worked too hard on his car to see it damaged. He could overdose on his insulin; no, chances are his dad would find him in time to stop it. Hell, his fevered mind thought, dad doesn't even have a gun. "Probably the only house in Texas without one," he sighed. So he sat and looked at the massive spinning propellers on the King-Air business plane as it taxied towards its parking spot, the pilot oblivious to the disturbed thoughts from the boy following his progress. That's all it would take, a blind rush into the metal blades.
"Chris?" James walked over to where the boy was standing. "What're you up to?"
"Nothing," Chris replied.
"You know, Kel should be home tonight. Why don't you come over? He wants to see you," James continued.
Chris just shrugged his shoulders. Why would Kelvin want to be with someone as useless as he was?
"Did you apply for that job?" James winced, stupid question. He just stood in silence looking at Chris, trying to figure out what was in his head.
Chris glanced down at his sneakers, shorts, and T-shirt. "Yeah, right, I can get a job like this." He just shook his shoulders.
"Chris, let's go see Kel." The response James got was another shrug. Damn, he thought, I don't know what to do here. The kid is acting like he doesn't care. Like his world just died.
Kelvin's dad didn't know if his experiences could be of use but he knew all about traumatic accidents. He had learned the hard way when his squadron mates had been taken to a crash site and handed two buckets. One for airplane parts and the other for pilot parts. The look on Chris's face sure seemed close to the look his squadron mate had.
"OK, Chris? Put your hands and feet on the controls!" James said, looking at the back of the silent boy he'd somehow managed to shoehorn into the tiny front cockpit of his toy.
Except for an occasional "Yes, sir.", the kid had been silent since James had grabbed him and told him to get in his car. James had no idea what his son's friend was going through, but it had to be like a sudden death in the family. A sudden deadly accident. So Kelvin would just have to wait. He just didn't have the experience to handle this by himself, James had thought as he turned towards his hanger at the other end of the airport.
"Com'on Chris." James pushed the rudder pedals, feeling for the boy, causing the small aerobatic biplane to skid across the sky, looking for a response.
Chris didn't know what to do. First he wanted to be alone to end everything; he was tired. He hadn't slept in days and now he found himself crammed into this stupid airplane with some crazy man behind him! Didn't Kel's dad know what was going on? Didn't he know he couldn't control anything about his life, that he was useless, that he wanted to be dead?
"Chris! Put your feet and hands on the controls. Follow my inputs. I'm not gon'a let anything happen." Com'on kid, take the bait, James thought. Glad also that he'd given Chris a vomit bag. If he didn't respond, this could get violent.
"I, I can't!. I'm not allowed! I'm a diabetic," Chris said. He suddenly didn't know which way was up any more as Kel's dad kicked the plane into a violent series of rolls! "SHIT!" Chris yelped, amazed that he didn't.
"Bullshit! That just means you can't get a license! It doesn't mean you can't fly with me! Now take the controls!" James pulled the plane back level and was rewarded to feel Chris through his controls. "OK! Follow along with me, we're gon'a do some simple turns...." James grinned at the boy. He had him, so far, so good. Midway through the flight, it was time for the next step. "OK, you've got it. She's all yours, we can go wherever you want to go."
Kel's dad kept them at it for the rest of the afternoon, keeping track of Chris, making just a few control inputs and corrections.
"OK, I've got it," James said as they began their return toward the airport. "Look at that sunset, Chris." He turned them slightly into the deep colors.
"I want you to remember this, Christopher. You can have control, just like you did with the plane. But most of all, remember you're here to see that sunset, to share that sunset with us!"
Kel's dad looked at the young man in front of him, like he had so many others over the years. Quiet sobs heard through his headset. Let it out, boy, he thought, let it out. Careful to not intrude, he carefully read through his checklist. Mission accomplished, he smiled. They had once again "slipped the surly bonds of earth". Like most pilots, he had memorized the poem "High Flight". He'd done what he could today. His son ought to be able to handle the rest. With his help, if needed.
"Mom, dad, we brought the runt home!" Brian yelled out as the three Stuart sons entered their house.
"Brian Bancroft Stuart!" their mom yelled back, "Stop calling your brother that!"
"Yeah, BB, stop calling me that!" Kelvin said quickly to Brian as he gingerly strode into his house.
"Sorry, mom!" Brian yelled. Then under his breath to Kelvin, "You know we could put you back in the hospital if you want."
"What'd'ya mean `we', white man?" Jim said, bringing up the rear with Kelvin's overnight bag.
Brian turned back to his brothers, "First dibs on the shower. I've got a date tonight."
"Oh? Who?" asked Jim.
Brian just winked. "A paramedic, her name is Lisa."
Kelvin stood in shock, watching his eighteen year old brother walk away. Lisa, if she was the same one, had to be three times his age. Kel slowly closed his mouth. Oh well, he thought, he was the last person who could object to Brian's dating habits.
"Dad, were you able to find Chris?" asked Kel as soon as he found him.
"Yes, I found him. I sent him to your room to wait," James told his son. "He's probably had as hard a time as you've had, maybe harder, so be careful," Kelvin was warned as he turned to race down to his room. He proceeded slowly instead.
"Chris?" Kelvin entered his bedroom and stopped to allow his eyes to adjust to the lower light.
Christopher lay sprawled face down across half of Kel's bed, his legs extending off the side to keep his ragged sneakers off the covers. Kel just watched his friend for a time. Looking at his broad shoulders and back under his shirt, moving in a slow steady rhythm with his breathing, his narrow hips and his strong smooth muscular legs that, if circumstances were different, he would have jokingly told Chris were so long they made an ass of themselves. One of Chris's arms was thrown over a pillow, pulling it in tight to him. It reminded Kel of a child holding a teddy bear with all its might.
Kel sighed. He really wanted to talk to Chris about what had happened, but couldn't bring himself to wake his peacefully sleeping friend. Thinking it ironic that their roles seemed reversed, Kel lay back in his favorite recliner and grabbed the paperback he had started earlier.
Kel's eyes opened quickly when he heard the dull thud and muffled "Shit!" from across the room. In spite of his best efforts, he couldn't suppress his laugh as he saw one of Chris's legs and an arm sticking up from the floor on the other side of the bed.
"Yeah, right, go ahead and laugh!" Chris said angrily as he untangled himself and sat up to look across at his friend.
"Look," giggle, "I'm sorry. You OK?" Kelvin asked.
"Oh, so now you're concerned!" Chris felt his ears burning, but a smile slowly spread as he realized how he must have looked. "Just be glad I stopped wetting the bed!"
"Oh? When was that? Last week?" Kelvin retorted, holding his chest to minimize the pain his effort to hold his laughter in was causing his ribs.
"Thanks a lot!" Chris sighed. "What time is it?" Chris's eyes locked onto the digital numbers glowing next to Kel's bed. It was just after ten. "Shit, I've got to get home before my dad starts drin...." Chris stopped, agitated and too embarrassed to continue.
"Chris! It's OK, my dad called for you! It's OK," Kel said, glancing at a note left with a tray of sandwiches someone had left in the room when they were asleep. Kel offered his friend the food. "What happened? Where'd you go?" Kel listened intently as Chris related the events that occurred since they had last talked. He found himself, in turns, shocked, angry, and finally sad, coughing to try to get rid of the lump in his throat. "But, but, what were you going to do?"
Chris looked away down at his feet and sat quiet for a moment, studying the floor. "I, I, I was...." his throat closed up. He fought through it. "I was thinking of a way to off myself," he whispered.
"WHAT?" Kel yelled, the horror of what his friend had just said placing its icy grip around his heart. He grabbed Chris around the chest in a hug, locking his fingers behind his friend's back and ignoring the protests his injuries gave him. "NO!" he winced, "Don't ever do that! Don't ever leave me like that!" Kel pulled back and lifted Chris's head in his hands. "Don't ever do that to me! I don't know what I'd do now if you weren't...." Kel's voice caught. "I love you! I need you, don't go!" He pulled Chris back into a tight embrace.
Chris returned the embrace, hanging onto Kel like a drowning man. "Kel, I promise, I'm OK now, I'm not going anywhere. I love you too much!"
Kelvin luxuriated in the embrace until, reluctantly, side throbbing, he had to back away. "Ugh, Chris? Watch the ribs."
"Oh, sorry." Chris pulled away. "I didn't mean to hurt you." Chris moved over on Kel's bed, propping himself up against the headboard.
"It's OK." Kelvin moved to the bed and lay with his head on Chris's chest, listening to his heartbeat in the still night. "Did you mean it when you said you loved me?"
"Yeah. More than I thought I ever could," Chris said, draping an arm across Kel, satisfied he'd found a comfortable position. "And you?"
"Yeah, I do," Kel answered. "What do we do now?", and as an afterthought, "I'm going back to school Monday."
"I don't know. I guess we'll just find out together. I would like to give you a ride to school, though," Chris said after some thought.
"You don't have to. I don't want you to be a target like I was. I don't want the other kids to...." Kelvin craned his neck to look at Chris.
"Kelvin, do me a favor, shut up! I'll be here at seven sharp." Chris, smiling, moved his hand to stroke his friend's, no, he corrected himself, his boyfriend's hair. Life was worth it after all.
"Seven?" Kel asked, puzzled.
"OK, OK, seven thirty then. Is that better?" Chris replied in exasperation. Damn, why does everything have to be so complicated? "Go to sleep!"