Mile High Meeting

Greetings all!

Well, the following chapter was originally only the first part of chapter 22, but it was taking long enough that I decided to break it up so I could get something out since it has been two months since the last posting. The past two months have been less than fun, as I have had a lot of things thrown at me, including having surgery on my wrist. That slowed me down, and I couldn't type for quite some time. I have a sizeable amount of the next installment already written, but cannot guarantee when it will be out, but I have been working on it.

I'd like to draw your attention to an interview I gave with a good friend of mine. The interview is over at the Nifty News newsletter site, at www.geocities.com/niftynews. Go under the spotlight section, and it is titled "An Interview With Cameron J." Please let me know what you think of the interview, and let Dave know what you think as well!

You all know the drill: you know whether you should be reading this or not, and you know that the characters in here are not supposed to represent the actual celebrities within.

On with the show...

Mile High Meeting-Chapter 22

I sat anxiously at the terminal, awaiting the inbound flight from Orlando. As I looked out to the snow covered hills on the other side of the Missouri River, the gently falling white flakes that were finding their way to the ground hypnotized me. I saw a glimmer in the sky that stood out, and knew in that instant that the jet coming into view carried the love of my life.

I was overcome with a sense of joy, as I knew I would soon be seeing him once again. I hoped that the spark was still there, and that we would be able to pick up our relationship where it had been left a few months before. As the plane touched down, I let out a deep breath, knowing that the wait was finally over.

It was the waiting over the last three months that made me realize how important he really was to me, and that was evidenced by how difficult my time alone had been. As the plane slowed on the tarmac, I thought back to how the last few months had gone.

I was lucky to find my way home after I left Nick at the hotel, but I had made the journey enough times that I didn't have to think a lot about driving. Of course, Adam and Brett were at the apartment when I returned to comfort me. I didn't know it at the time, but later learned that the two of them both cancelled their plans for the day, and the following days to help me get through the first hours. I never would have made it without their support.

I decided a few days later that I wasn't going to feel sorry for myself, and began returning to a more normal routine. I started going to my classes, and working on some of the local election campaigns that I had been involved with since the Iowa caucuses several months before. In fact, I got so wrapped up with everything that no one would have ever known that I had an empty feeling in my stomach, knowing that Nick was nowhere near.

Nick and I talked frequently, and we made plans to meet at my parents' home for Christmas. I invited all of the Backstreet Boys for the holidays, and they agreed that they would come to my parents after spending Christmas day with their families. Nick, however, chose to celebrate Christmas early with his family, and then join me on the 23rd of December.

Nick seemed to be having a great time overseas on their tour, and we spent a great deal of time talking about all of the sites he had seen, how fantastic the crowds were, and even the luxurious plane they used on the trip. I was very happy for him, and silently longed to be with Nick. I never told him this, but suddenly my life seemed insignificant compared to his.

Election night came and went, and without a victor in the presidential race, I spent a lot of time glued to the television cable channels, watching every last minute of coverage. The campaign office had not closed, and all of us that had worked on the campaign met there often to see if there was anything that could be done. In retrospect, the election was a blessing in disguise as it kept me occupied during some trying times.

The last couple weeks before Nick was to arrive in Omaha were definitely the most difficult, as I had nothing better to do than wait. Patience is a virtue I don't possess, so I was driving everyone around me a bit crazy. I was bouncing off the walls at home, and nothing could grab my attention. My parents actually called some of my friends from high school, asking them to come over to keep me entertained.

I really enjoyed my time with my friends, and they all were looking forward to meeting Nick. I promised them that we would all go out once Nick arrived. Finally, a few days later, Nick was scheduled to make his appearance. The flight was due to arrive at noon, so naturally, I showed up at the airport at about 9:30. There is nothing worse than arriving late for an event, so I always arrived early for everything I did. Yes, 9:30 was a bit excessive, but the two plus hours I waited, walking from one end of the airport to the other countless times went fairly quickly.

The jet came back into sight as it approached the walkway. I stood up slowly, walking over to the doorway. A few minutes later, passengers began deplaning. I saw a tall, young man, wearing a black Iowa hat walking up the ramp, and I began grinning as he looked up and our eyes locked. He looked up at his hat, raised his eyebrows, and winked at me. Fortunately, the plane was far from full, so there weren't too many people waiting for passengers to disembark. I took a few steps toward him, and pulled him into a bear hug. A few people looked over at us, but for all they knew, I was greeting my brother or best friend.

"You're taste has certainly improved," I said, pulling on his cap.

"What can I say? I have seen the light," Nick said with a laugh.

"You look fantastic, Nick. Touring has been good to you."

"You don't look so bad yourself. You look smarter, somehow. Once you graduate in May, you may not want to hang out with us uneducated folk."

"But I have so many things that I can teach you," I said, with a seductive look.

"Oh? You must have been taking some very interesting classes this fall."

"Yeah. That class on the cultural and historical foundations of communication really turned me on."

"Mmm. Sexy," Nick said sarcastically.

"Why don't we get your luggage and get out of here?"

"That's the best idea I've heard all day."

It felt so good to have him near me again, even though I couldn't have him nearly as close as I would have liked. Nick was obviously dressed for Florida weather, so I asked him if he had brought a winter coat or winter clothes. He said that he had a couple sweatshirts and sweaters, but didn't really think about a coat.

I shook my head, and laughed. It was going to be a rude awakening for him. We walked out to the parking garage, and the first blast of cold air hit him, immediately making him shiver.

"Damn! Who left the freezer door open?"

"I think leaving the freezer door open would actually warm the air up at this point, Nick. We'll have to stop somewhere to get a coat for you."

I unlocked the Navigator, and put Nick's bags in the back seat. We jumped in, and I started the engine. The outside temperature read 3 degrees Fahrenheit, which was actually warmer than it had been a couple days before.

Throwing in the wind-chill, however, and it felt like about -30.

The engine had cooled down, so it took a few minutes for the heat to kick in, and it wasn't a moment too soon. I paid the parking attendant, and soon we were headed south toward downtown.

"So, how was the trip up here?"

"Pretty uneventful. I just can't imagine why the plane was mostly empty. Who wouldn't want to come up and experience the heat wave you are having?"

"I somehow doubt this is the coldest place you have visited, Nick. You have been to Minnesota and Canada, haven't you? The land of two seasons...winter, and July."

"I came from Orlando, in case you forgot."

"I know, I know."

The small talk continued until I got on I-480, and later I-80 to head to west Omaha, where the best shopping was. Unfortunately, school was out for Christmas, so we had to be careful where we went as to avoid crowds of teenage girls, who would wonder what Nick Carter was doing in Nebraska.

I decided on a store in the Regency area, and we quickly found our way inside. We looked over several racks of coats as we walked through the store, perusing the different selections.

Nick walked up to me with a bright red Nebraska Cornhusker coat on, grinning from ear to ear. "You like the Huskers, right?"

"You've got about 5 seconds to remove that coat, or I am calling my fifteen year old cousin in town to tell her where you are. She has her own phone line, and a long list of friends on her speed dial that would love to tear you apart."

"If she's only fifteen, she wouldn't be able to get here anyway," Nick snapped back.

"Do you want to take that risk?" I said as I lifted my cell phone out of my coat pocket.

"Okay, okay. It's kind of an ugly coat anyway," Nick said, still sounding defiant.

"Nick, have you ever seen me wear anything red, or seen anything red in my closet?"

"Not that I can recall."

"There is a reason for that, dear. Why don't we find something in black and gold?"

"Hawkeye colors, eh?"

"What else?"

I found a coat a while later that we could both agree on, and I insisted on paying for it. He was in my environment, so I didn't think he should have to buy the coat himself.

I jumped back on the interstate, heading straight home. Traffic was a nightmare, but we managed to get through it without incident. Once we were out of the city, Nick reached over and planted a kiss on my cheek.

"I've wanted to do that for about three hours, you know."

"I've wanted to do more than that, but we'll probably have to wait a while longer," I warned Nick. "Everyone is excited to see you again, so we will probably have a big dose of 'family time' today, but you'll have me all to yourself tonight."

"I can live with that," Nick conceded. "I'm looking forward to seeing everyone as well, actually."

I pulled into the driveway, and saw that my brother's family was all outside, sledding on one of the hills that led up to our orchard. I guided the Navigator over to the side of the driveway, turning off the engine just in time to see Austin flying down the hill, waving at us as he reached the bottom.

"Shall we join the fun?" I asked, already knowing the answer.

"You know how I feel about having fun, don't you Cam?"

"I do."

"Well, then I think you know the answer. Race you over there!"

It wasn't a fair race, as I had to run around my vehicle before I could take off on a dead run. Nick was already halfway up the hill before I reached the base. Austin had already made his way back up the hill, and he and Aaron had mobbed Nick, knocking him to the ground as they greeted him. Their mother, Laura, was up at the top of the hill as well.

"Hey little bro!" Andy said as I approached him.

"Little? Younger, maybe, but I do believe I have you in the height department," I observed as I looked down at him with a smile.

"Well, one of us got the brain, and the other the brawn," he said with a laugh.

"Dream on, Andy. You got screwed on both counts," I said as we both started laughing.

"Perhaps we should head up the hill to save Nick?" my brother asked, looking up to see Nick still being bombarded by my nephews. From my vantage point, it was difficult to tell which of them was having the most fun. Andrew and I made our way up the hill, and I gave Laura a hug as we all continued to watch the human jungle gym that was my boyfriend.

"A little help here?" Nick pleaded in between fits of laughter.

"You seem to be holding your own, dear."

"Cam, perhaps you should help out a bit," Laura suggested.

"Quite right," I said, jumping down to join Austin and Aaron in their fun.

"Okay, this is so not fair!" Nick shouted, barely able to speak.

"All right, all right. Let's give him a break, guys," I finally suggested. The boys complied, and were soon back on the sled, rocketing down the hill.

Nick was talking to Andy and Laura when my mom's silver Jaguar pulled up behind my SUV. Mom and Dad got out of the car and walked up the hill to see what we were doing. My mother went right for Nick, giving him a big hug. My father was next, extending his hand to Nick before giving him a hug as well.

"It's good to see you again, Nick," my father noted.

"You too. I've been looking forward to this for a long time."

"So have we, Nick," my mother added.

While we were talking, Austin and Aaron had taken to throwing snowballs at each other. One of Austin's errant throws hit my father right in the chest, and as we started laughing, Austin had a priceless look on his face that was a mix between horror and amusement.

My father looked at Austin with a serious look on his face for just a moment before uttering three simple words, "This means war," he said with a glimmer in his eye. Dad then walked over to the boys, putting his arms around them. "You're on my team, boys...let's kick some tail."

"Um, should we be doing something?" Nick asked.

"Yes, we should. Run!"

Nick, my brother, and I took off on a dead run into the hills to put some distance between them and us. A few snowballs hit Andy as we got away from them, but Nick and I were unscathed. Andy decided to go back and 'fight like a man,' as he put it, but as we watched from a distance, he was no match for my father and the boys. I had to come up with another plan.

I took Nick's hand, leading him up one of the hills so we could overlook them as they came to find us. We were overlooking a fairly steep canyon by Iowa standards. We were about seventy feet above the bottom of the valley, and the banks were almost straight up on both sides.

As predicted, I could see them coming up through the valley from a good distance. Nick asked what the plan was, so I quickly thought of something.

"Nick, if you go around to the left about a hundred yards, you can walk along the top of the ridge over to the other side. If we attack them from both sides, they won't stand a chance."

"Sounds like a plan," Nick said, starting in that direction.

"Nick," I said, causing him to pause. "Be very careful. There is a trail over there, but the ground is very uneven, and it is likely very slippery over there." The hills were well forested, but there was a small break in the cover that allowed the sun to beat down during the day, melting a bit of the snow. It would freeze back up at night, creating a sheet of ice on top of the snow, making it difficult to walk at times.

It took Nick a couple minutes to get into position, but soon he waved at me, and started building his arsenal of snowballs. I held up my hand, telling him to wait until I gave the go-ahead. A minute later, as the three of them were directly below us, I gave the green light, and we unleashed a barrage of snowball missiles. As predicted, they were defenseless, and were soon begging for mercy.

"Okay, okay...we know when we have been beat, boys! Nice job, you little brats," my dad said looking up to see us.

I smiled and pumped my fist in the air. Nick danced a little jig across the way, and I saw his left foot start to slip out from underneath him, sending him tumbling to the ground.

He started sliding toward the edge, eventually tumbling over the side. Fortunately, he fell onto a small plateau about fifteen feet below his location, but fell hard onto his back, and he wasn't moving.

"Nick!" I yelled at the top of my lungs. "Nick, are you okay?" I screamed as I started running. Dad had noticed the fall, and he sent Austin and Aaron to get Andy as he started running up the hill.

I was running as fast as I could, and it only took a minute to reach the spot from where he had fallen. Without thinking, I jumped down onto the ledge where he had landed, immediately going down to my knees to see if he was okay.

"Nick, sweetheart? Can you hear me?" I asked with desperation in my voice. His eyes were closed, but I could see that he was breathing. I gently shook his chest, not wanting to move him too much in case he was seriously hurt.

"Nick, answer me," I pleaded, as tears started falling. By this point, my dad was above us, looking down.

"Andy will be up here with a vehicle in a minute, Cameron. Is he awake?"

"The fall must have knocked him out, Dad. Perhaps we should call an ambulance," I said, just as I felt Nick start to move.

"Who do you need an ambulance for?" Nick whispered, looking up at me with his eyes squinting.

"Oh, Nick, thank God you are awake!"

"What the hell happened? Where am I?" he questioned, moving his neck around.

"You fell from up above onto this ledge. God must have been looking out for you, or you would have fallen a lot further. How do you feel?"

"I think I just got the wind knocked out of me," he said as he started to sit up. "And I am sore as hell."

"Do you think you can climb back up to the trail, so we can get you out of here?"

"Well, I don't plan on staying here forever, so yeah," he said with a weak smile.

I helped him to his feet, and helped push him up as he climbed until my dad grabbed him, pulling him up. I was close behind, and as soon as I was up, I grabbed Nick into my arms, letting out a big sigh. "You scared the hell out of me, boy."

I heard the familiar sound of my Navigator approaching down below, coming to a stop below us. I motioned Andy to drive up the hill so he could pick us up. I stood up, picking Nick up and carrying him over to the vehicle, gently placing him in the middle seat. I got in on the other side, and Dad got in up front, and we headed around the trail that led back down to the house.

"Do you need to be checked out?" I asked as I held Nick.

"I'll be fine, Cam. I just got jolted pretty good."

"I am going to take care of you, so don't worry about a thing," I stated, placing a kiss on his forehead.

About five minutes later, we got back to the house, and I carried Nick in through the garage, and into the kitchen where Mom and Laura were waiting for us.

"What happened?" Mom asked. "The boys ran down here at a hundred miles an hour to get Andy, and then he took off like a bat out of hell."

"Nick had a pretty good fall. We can talk about it later, but I am going to get him upstairs for now," I said as I started to walk to the other side of the house, and to the stairs.

"I think I can make it up the stairs, Cam," Nick suggested.

"Forget about it. You just need to relax," I said as I started my way up the staircase.

I took him in my room, and put him down on the bed. I rushed into the bathroom to run some hot water into my whirlpool tub. Once that had started, I went back out to get Nick undressed. I could see from his face that he was in a lot of pain, so I was extra careful. I removed his jacket first, followed by his shoes and socks. He started to unbutton his shirt, so I went to work on his pants and boxers.

He was still working on his shirt when I pulled off his boxers, so I started to undress too. I had shed everything by the time he got his shirt off, and I carried him into the bathroom, carefully lifting him up into the tub. I turned off the water, and then slid in behind him, hitting the controls on the jets as I submerged into the water.

He started to lean into me as I started massaging his shoulders. His muscles were incredibly tense, as I might have suspected, and it took some time to get his shoulder muscles alone to relax. I worked on his neck, and then proceeded down the back. He would let out an occasional moan, but I knew he was hurting more than he let on.

I worked my way down to the lower back, which seemed to be one of the more tender areas. I tried to be as gentle as possible while trying to loosen him up a bit. My hands were starting to cramp up a bit, so I pulled Nick back into me, and he placed his head on my right shoulder as I wrapped my arms around his chest, gently running my hands across his abdomen.

"I'm so sorry for sending you over there, baby. I should have went over there since I know the terrain better," I said, feeling really bad about what had happened.

"Cam, you had nothing to do with it. I just got careless when I shouldn't have. Although with this kind of treatment, I may have to do it again."

"I don't believe so," I said, slapping him lightly on his stomach. "My heart stopped when I saw you start to fall. In the minute it took me to get over to you, a thousand thoughts crossed my mind."

"Like?" He asked, turning his head to face me.

"I don't want to get too morbid. Let's just say that I can no longer imagine life without you."

"I love you, Cameron."

"I love you too, Nicholas."

I heard a faint knocking on the bedroom door a second later.

"Who is it?" I asked.

"It's Andy. Can I come in?"

"We're in the bathroom, Andy," I said. "You can come in." Nick looked over at me, wondering what I had just done.

"Nick, we're up to our necks in water, and with the jets on, he can't see a thing."

"You didn't lock the door?"

"No, Nick. No one in my family will come in without knocking. Not after the incident a few years ago when..."

"When what?"

"I'll tell you later," I whispered as Andy sheepishly walked into the bathroom.

"Are you okay, Nick?" he asked, genuinely concerned for Nick's welfare.

"I'm just sore, Andy. I'll be fine, thank you," Nick answered, and Andy sighed in relief.

"Mom wanted me to tell you that dinner is not for an hour, so you guys have plenty of time to relax."

"Thanks Andrew. Tell her that we will be there," Nick answered for the both of us.

"Okay, and by the way. You guys really do make an adorable couple," he said as he started for the door. "Nick, I can clearly see why Cameron is so attracted to you," he said as he raised his eyebrows, pretending to look down into the water.

Nick immediately started blushing, and I splashed some water on my brother to get him out of the room. "Don't worry about him. He couldn't see a thing."

"It's okay, Cam. I should have known that the two of you would have the same sense of humor. I think I chose the right brother, though."

"You definitely did that, considering that my brother has that whole 'straight' thing going on," I said with a laugh.

We soaked in the tub a while longer before getting out and getting dressed for dinner. I found some sweatpants and a sweatshirt for Nick to wear down. He complained that he wanted to be better dressed, but I told him that they would all understand considering the circumstances.

We started down the hallway, and Nick insisted on taking the stairs, so I took his arm up over my shoulder while he held on to the railing. He walked quite gingerly into the dining room, but wanted to do so under his own power.

Everyone was quite concerned about Nick's health, and he was most patient as they all asked how he was feeling at different points throughout the meal.

"I guess a rematch is out of the question," my dad asked in jest.

"Dad, you know we would cream you again in a rematch," I stated.

"Don't count on that, son. I was just taking it easy on you guys. You seem to forget that I have lived here a little longer than you so I know the territory, and your old man still has a few moves left in him."

"Cam, just let him live in fantasy world. He is getting delusional in his old age," my mom joked, winking at my dad, who gave her quite the dirty look.

"I don't doubt that he has a few tricks left up his sleeve, but my Nick isn't going to be doing anything strenuous for a few days," I said, taking his hand in mine.

"So you two will actually get some sleep then?" Andy asked from across the table. The whole table erupted in laughter, including Nick and I. Austin and Aaron didn't understand what we were talking about, but laughed anyway as most kids do.

"Okay, so that didn't sound exactly how I had intended it," I admitted.

"Obviously," Mom added with a chuckle as she looked at the two of us before shaking her head.

"Our little Cameron is all grown up," Dad said.

"You're not kidding," Nick said under his breath, so only I could hear.

I took his hand in mine, and smiled so he knew that I heard him.

After dinner, we all wound up in the family room. My father started a fire, and we all sat down to watch the fire, and enjoy a little conversation. Nick was leaning into me on the sofa, and I could tell that he was studying my parents as they were talking about our plans for Christmas Eve and Christmas Day. I was only half listening, as watching Nick distracted me. After several minutes, Nick turned his head to say something to me.

"Do you think we will be as much in love as they are when we get older?" Nick whispered with a twinkle in his eyes.

"Even more so," I responded with a smile. Nick leaned into me even further, and my mother caught my eye and winked at me as I began running my hand through Nick's hair and rubbing his neck gently. I don't know how, but I think she knew exactly what we were talking about. I couldn't be sure, but I learned long ago not to bet against her. She had a sixth sense like no one I had ever met, and I think I inherited some of it from her. That's the only reason I was sure she knew what we were discussing.

It was so nice to be with my family, and with Nick during the holidays.

Everyone was relaxed and in a good mood. As my family had done for many years, there was a Christmas tree in almost every room, and the house was beautifully decorated, as it always was. My favorite tree was always the one in the foyer, an artificial 8' blue spruce that we decorated with blue and white lights, ribbons and bows, and an angel that my mother had made many years ago topping it off. My parents hired help to decorate the house, but that tree was always mine to decorate. I had done so the day after Thanksgiving, and every time I saw it, it filled me with the spirit of the holidays.

My family always went overboard for the holiday season, and it always helped distract all of us from the normal hectic existence we all led. For these few days, there were no term papers, no appointments, and no concerts to be performed. Too often in my life I hadn't taken the time to really enjoy life; I was always too busy trying to get ahead to stop and understand how blessed I really was.

I promised myself that I would try to make more time for leisure, and Nick was involved heavily in those plans. The conversations continued, and Austin and Aaron had fallen asleep on the floor near the fireplace. I was the first to look over at them, and soon everyone sat in silence to watch them sleeping. I wanted to have a family just like my brother had, and hoped that Nick and I would be parents someday.

Andy and Laura decided that they should head home, so the boys could sleep in their own beds where they would be more comfortable, and my mother was immediately up to help get their coats on to go. Austin and Aaron both woke up during the process, and told Mom that they hadn't said goodbye to everyone yet, so they couldn't leave. She told them to go ahead and tell everyone bye, and they came walking over to Nick and I first.

Austin was rubbing his eyes as he gave me a hug, and he immediately went over to Nick to do the same. Aaron did the same thing, and Nick was beaming as they gave him as much attention as they did me.

"Goodnight, Uncle Cam. Goodnight, Uncle Nick," Austin said as he waved goodbye. Everyone in the room was smiling by that point, and I could have sworn that I saw his eyes watering. He blinked a few times in an attempt to remove the evidence, but it was to no avail.

Everyone finished saying their goodbyes, and my parents excused themselves to clean up the dining room. We offered to help, but they wouldn't let us. Nick and I sat in silence for a few minutes before I asked him if he would mind if I checked my e-mail. He said he didn't care as long as he got to tag along, so I took his hand as we stood up, and I led him into my father's office.

My dad's computer sat on top of a large oak desk that made the monitor look miniscule. It was one of my favorite rooms in the house, and I used to hang out in there a lot when I was younger because it made me feel important. My father was an avid reader, so bookshelves lined two whole walls, and part of a third. There was a large bay window looking out along the other wall, and a television and VCR built into the wall in front of the desk. Nick sat down in a leather chair near the window as I fired up the computer.

I was reading e-mail from a friend in Colorado when Nick interrupted me. "Do you really think we will be that much in love when we are older?"

This took me a bit by surprise, and it took me a minute to digest what he had said. "What are you talking about? Of course I do."

"No, don't do that. Don't just answer the question without thinking about it. I've had a lot of time to think while apart from you, and I just want to know if you really think we will make it."

I was taken aback by this, and suddenly became nervous. "Are you trying to tell me something, Nick?"

"No! I just want to talk about it. I am not trying to imply anything about our relationship now. I've been on the road a lot in my life, and I have seen so many relationships fade not because of a lack of love, but for many other reasons. Being on the road can get very lonely, and..."

"Whoa! What are you saying? Has something happened that I should know about?"

"Nothing has happened, Cameron. I love you with all of my heart, and would never do anything to hurt you. However, sometimes it is very difficult to be apart from the one you love for so long."

"My parents have spent a lot of time apart in the past while they were working and building towards their future, and they are happier than ever. You noticed that just a few minutes ago," I said, calming down slightly as I leaned back in the chair.

"Were your parents married when they spent that time apart?" Nick asked.

"Yes," I answered, not understanding the relevance of the question.

"So they had made a commitment to each other, a promise that they would be together for all time. I know that doesn't seem to mean that much these days, but it obviously meant something to them. I am sure they took a lot of comfort just looking at their wedding rings, knowing that the other was doing the same thing. Too many things in my life have been fleeting, and I don't want you to be one of them."

"Are you sure you are only twenty years old?" I asked in jest. "You sound very wise."

"Do you want to get married someday?" Nick asked, clearly going out on a limb.

"Last time I checked, that wasn't legal," I said. Nick's face just sank, and I knew that I had screwed that answer up pretty royally.

I quickly jumped out of the chair and kneeled down in front of Nick. He had shed a few tears, and I wiped them away before looking into his eyes.

"You're right, of course," Nick said quietly.

"No, no...I am not right, and I am sorry. I didn't really mean that the way it sounded," I said. I was feeling about an inch tall, and was crushed that I had done this to him. I would have given anything at that moment to take back what I had said, but I would have to undo the damage the hard way.

"It's okay, Cameron. It was silly of me to bring it up in the first place," he said, sniffling as he choked back more tears.

"It is not okay, Nick. If it is commitment you want from me, you have that. You have had that from the moment I met you five months ago, and I thought you knew that. Obviously, I haven't communicated that well enough to you, and I will try harder to do so. You mean everything to me, and I can't stand to see you hurting like this. I would do anything for you, you have to know that."

I stopped short of answering the marriage question, and I knew that my words were having very little effect on him, but I couldn't think of anything else to say at the moment. I had taken his hand a few minutes earlier, and I could feel his grip loosening instead of tightening, and that was not a good sign.

"I think I am going to go to bed now. You can go ahead and check your e-mail if you like," Nick said as he stood up. He walked out of the room without looking back, and I knew that I had blown it big time. I slumped over against the chair, and buried my head in my hands.

"Cameron? Are you okay?" I heard my father ask as he looked down at me. "How long have you been in here?"

"I...I don't know. A while I guess," I answered, looking at him as he sat down in his office chair, facing me.

"Where's Nick? What happened?" he asked in a tone I rarely heard from him. He had always been a kind person, but I usually didn't have too many heart-to-heart talks with my dad, so this felt a little weird.

"He's upstairs, either sleeping or crying," I said as I looked back down to the floor.

"Why would he be doing that?"

"Because I am an idiot. We were talking about you and Mom, and how happy you are, and if we were destined to be together for all time. He started talking about marriage, and things went downhill from there. He asked if I had thought about us getting married, and I was totally insensitive to what he was saying."

"That doesn't sound like you, Camo."

"I know, Dad. I said something about it being illegal for us to get married, not realizing how much weight that comment carried. He was crushed, and I can't blame him. He wants a commitment from me, and I passed off the comment without even thinking about it. I thought I was smarter than that."

"Son, are you afraid of committing to Nick?"

"No. I love him with all of my heart," I said as he nodded his head, already knowing the answer.

"I imagine it took a lot of courage for him to bring up the subject, so I can understand why he would be upset that you were so flippant."

"Gee, you're really making me feel better," I said sarcastically.

"Let me finish. If you think you are the first guy to ever say something stupid, or act foolishly, you are wrong. There are about three billion males on the earth, and I am betting every one of us has done something that we aren't too proud of doing. I've made many mistakes in my life, but your mother forgave me...well, for most of them anyway," he said with a chuckle. "I have a feeling Nick will forgive you as well."

"I think you are right, but that doesn't resolve the issue. How can I show him that I am committed to our relationship?"

"You know, just because a gay marriage isn't recognized by the state doesn't mean you can't be married. Who cares what the state says, anyway? You don't need the government's permission to exchange vows and have a ceremony symbolizing your union."

"I know, I know. I just do not think I am ready for that right now."

"Nick probably isn't either, but he wants the comfort of knowing that it is a possibility down the road. Just give it some thought. You can talk to your mother or me about it anytime, and Nick can do the same. I want you two to cheer up though. It is Christmas, and I know you don't want to spend your favorite holiday upset."

"Thank you."

"Anytime, Cam. You know where I am if you want to talk some more. You want a hand getting up?" he asked as he stood up, extending his hand.

"No thanks. I think I will stay here a bit longer, if that's okay."

"Of course. I'll see you in the morning," Dad said, rustling my hair before heading for the door.

"Dad?"

"Yeah?" he asked as he turned around.

"I love you."

"Love you too," he said with a smile as he closed the door behind him.

I was going to sit there feeling sorry for myself a bit longer, but I knew that Nick was feeling far worse than I. I didn't know whether it would be best for me to leave him alone, or to go talk to him right away. I decided that I did not want him to be alone any longer, so I headed up to my room. I walked quickly up the stairs, stopping for only one second to look at my Christmas tree. I had hoped that Nick and I would be decorating that tree together for many years to come, and I only hoped I would be able to resolve the night's mess so we would have that opportunity. I looked away, climbed the remaining stairs, and started down the hallway. I got to my door, and reached for the handle, realizing that I had no idea what I was going to say to him.

I hesitated for a second longer, but I knew what I felt in my heart, so I walked in. He was lying on the bed, turned away from me. I didn't know if he was asleep or not, as the light was off and the only light in the room was coming from the Christmas lights outside my window.

"Nick, can we talk?"

"I don't want to talk right now," Nick responded.

"I do not want you to go to sleep angry, Nick. I know I screwed up, and I didn't mean what I said. You have to believe that."

"I am not angry. I am disappointed and hurt."

"I cannot tell you how sorry I am. I love you more than you can know, and I do not want to see you like this."

"Not tonight, Cam. We can talk tomorrow, but not now. I have to do some thinking."

Now I could feel the tears welling up in my eyes. "I understand. I'll talk to you in the morning, Nick."

I was feeling very unwelcome in my own room, and decided it would be best to leave him alone. I closed the door, and went further down the hallway to one of the guest bedrooms. I unconsciously shed my shirt and pants and slipped under the covers. Tears began falling down my cheeks, and I cried myself to sleep for the first time in many, many years.

Forgive me, as this is as close to a cliffhanger as I will probably ever get. Again, check out the interview at the address above, and let Dave and I know what you think...we would appreciate it greatly. I am working on the next segment, so if you e-mail me (glenwoodbronco@hotmail.com) and bug me about it, I may get it out faster (hint, hint!)

Thanks for reading!