Author's note:
Hey, readers. Roman here with a programming announcement.
I've been writing from an outline I have of the arc of this entire story, and it breaks into three parts. This chapter wraps up part one of the story, so there's now two more left to go.
As we turn the virtual page over to part two, I'm going to be working on the next several chapters together as a set rather than writing one-by-one sequentially. That means it will probably take me longer than usual before I get the next chapter posted here, so don't be too alarmed that I'm leaving this story hanging unfinished if that turns out to be the case. Don't worry, the parts to come will bring things back to explaining what's happening in the flash-forward scene at the beginning of chapter one.
In the meantime, you're now 11 chapters deep into this story, so that means you've also invested a chunk of your time into reading it. Thank you for that. Seriously. I also want to say how much I appreciate all the emails from readers with questions, feedback, and reflections that I've received along the way in writing this first part. I'm genuinely thankful for them all, and they do help with keeping up my motivation for working away on this project. If you have any comments on this first part, I always welcome them at romanjwrites@gmail.com.
Be well as you wait on part two, and please consider making a donation to Nifty to support the maintenance of this platform if your circumstances allow.
May Freshman Year
"I don't know, I still say you'll go outta your mind before August."
Mike was laughing as he made that prediction, so he completely missed Pete rolling his eyes at me in response while the three of us bounded down the stairs of my dorm.
"Dude, I'm tellin' you, it's gonna be so cool," Pete replied, shaking his head in exasperation with my roommate even though the enthusiasm in his voice hadn't diminished. The three of us turned and headed across campus in the direction of town as Pete continued: "... The Bob's just awesome, and you-..."
"...-Yeah," Mike cut him off, "being out there for a week, maybe. I'd love to go, too. But aren't you gonna get a little stir-crazy after a while?"
Pete just laughed dismissively. "Not even half as much as I do here."
I couldn't help but smile along with Pete as he said that because I knew he absolutely meant it.
"But, like..." Mike began, his voice suddenly becoming completely serious. "... It's just gonna be you and a few other dudes with no internet, right? What the hell are you gonna do when you get horny out there?"
A smirking grin quickly spread across Pete's face as we paused to wait out some traffic before crossing a street at the edge of campus.
"The exact same thing you'll be doing all summer when your parents won't let you out of the house," Pete replied.
"Not funny!!" Mike shot back, his words coming quickly enough for it to be clear Pete had hit a sore spot for him.
"OK, OK, maybe it wasn't," Pete conceded, holding his hands up in apology. "... But I'm a lot more worried about you being the one who's too pent up and bored this summer."
"Jackass," Mike muttered under his breath, only half-laughing at Pete's joke while his thoughts evidently drifted elsewhere.
"Hey, I'll make sure you have a good time when you come to visit me at least," I broke in, trying to cheer Mike back up from where I could tell his mind was going.
"Yeah, I know," he agreed, his mouth twitching back up into a smile.
"And my parents won't care if we go out, either," I continued, encouraged to see Mike grinning again by now. Still, I couldn't resist fucking with him a little, too: "... And you know sooner or later we're bound to find a girl who won't be scared off by that starving wolf expression you've always got on your face after you've been at home for a while."
"Ughh!" Mike shoved me in the shoulder as his smile dropped in disgust. "I don't know how the hell I've put up with your wiseass all year."
"Maybe it's `cause you know you could actually learn a thing or two from Mr. Enchantment here..." Pete suggested.
I froze.
Even though the two of them kept going without missing a beat, I nearly stopped dead in my tracks at what Pete had just said. He'd never mentioned Mike's nickname for me before now. Fuck, I didn't think Pete even knew about that before this...
"And you, too, Lyons," Mike continued while I was still trying to push aside the train of thought that suddenly had me so worried. "... I'm officially retracting my invitation for you to come hang out with me in Atlanta."
"Aww, don't be like that," Pete laughed, mock-hurt. "You know I would've come this summer if I could. But I've barely got enough time to go terrorize Max's family after my job is done," he continued. Pete's smile faltered a little, though, when he glanced over at me and noticed the expression on my own face had slipped. He quickly looked back to Mike and finished: "... So just be glad I won't have any internet `cause that means you'll be safe from my wisecracks all summer while you're sittin' in house arrest with your parents."
"I'm telling you," Mike said loudly, shaking his head as we slowed down near the entrance of the pizza place where we'd been going. "I've had it with your shit. Both your shit."
"OK, OK!" I said, wanting to speak up now before we all went inside. "We'll leave you alone then. I just remembered I need to get something from across the street anyway..." I said, nodding my head down in the direction of the drug store. "You mind if I run over there and grab it real quick? I'll even take jackass here with me so you can eat in peace."
Mike stepped out of the restaurant's door for a second to let a group of people by who were on their way out. I prayed silently that he wouldn't want to come along with us because I knew what Pete had just said would keep worrying me until I could ask him about it.
"Yeah, that's cool," Mike responded, much to my relief. "Come over here and find me if you're done first."
"No prob," I replied, nodding at Pete to come along with me as I started down the sidewalk in the direction of the drug store.
After we were a few steps away and out of earshot, Pete started chuckling wryly. "Have I said `thank you' yet for being the only person who hasn't given me any shit about what I'll be doing this summer?"
"Umm, but I thought I had..." I replied, confused.
"Yeah," Pete grinned, "but only `cause you're jealous."
And he was right about that, too. Pete had landed a job with the Forest Service doing backcountry trail maintenance and ecosystem restoration in the Bob Marshall Wilderness in Montana. Even though the backbreaking physical labor he'd be doing out there wasn't very appealing to most people at this school where prestigious, resume-padding internships were the norm for the summer months, Pete knew full well that something like this had always been a dream job for me, too. So, yeah, I was jealous. But I was also fuckin' happy for Pete because I knew how excited he was to spend the next few months in his home. And, although Pete would never actually say it, I also suspected part of his enthusiasm about this job was due to the fact that it'd allow him to spend the summer in Montana but without being at the beck and call of his father.
But this wasn't what I needed us to talk about now.
"Pete, what did you mean by that back there?"
"What?" Pete asked, his eyes sliding evasively away from mine as we neared the store. It was obvious he knew exactly what I was referring to, and I was certain he was just trying to stall me.
"The `Mr. Enchantment' thing?" I clarified.
But instead of answering me, Pete just briefly rested his eyes on mine for a second and shook his head, his face suddenly grave as we made our way through the doors and entered the store. He walked directly to the back, and I followed him silently as he started to check if any of the aisles were empty.
Judging by how serious Pete had just become and by how he was delaying answering my question, I suddenly wasn't so sure I really wanted to know what he thought of `Mr. Enchantment' after all. When we came to the baby aisle and saw no one there, I felt a stab of the same kind of dread I'd always had when I was a kid and thought I was about to get busted for something bad that I'd done.
Pete turned and headed down to the center of the aisle, and my instinctive defenses kicked into overdrive. I rationalized to myself that there hadn't been anything really wrong about what I'd done back at home during every break this year. No, why the fuck should I feel guilty now for hooking up with those girls? I had every right. There was absolutely nothing to stop me from having some fun while I was at home. All those girls happened before me and Pete. And it wasn't my fault I'd told Mike about those hook-ups and not Pete because Mike had always fuckin' asked me if I'd gotten any action over those breaks, not Pete. And it wasn't my fault Mike twisted my stupid joke about New Mexico being `the Land of Enchantment' into that dumb name he picked up. No, fuck this shit. How fuckin' dare Pete make me upset that I was disappointing him? And why the fuck didn't Pete know it had nothing to do with him anyway? No, fuck this, Pete, fuck-...
But then Pete turned around, and when his eyes caught mine he didn't look mad at all.
"I've seen the countdown you've had up on your wall since February..." Pete said, his voice as even and collected as if he'd just told me the sky is up. Pete's complete calm diffused me immediately, too, because it made it seem like I'd been gearing myself up for a confrontation that wasn't going to happen.
"So?" I asked, now just confused instead. I wasn't following Pete, and I wasn't sure what the running tally I'd been keeping of the days left until summer break had to do with anything.
"... So I know how much you've been looking forward to this summer, and-..." Pete paused for a second to glance down to the end of the aisle to check if anyone was coming before he looked back at me and continued "...-And I know I don't have to tell you this `cause you will anyway, but I want you to enjoy it."
Wait.
Pete couldn't possibly be saying what I thought he was.
Could he?
"Do you mean-..."
"... -Look, I know how much fun you always have when you're at home. And I don't want to be a damper on that," Pete interrupted, speaking over my question. "... I don't want you to give up anything for me," he continued, looking me straight in the eyes. "... I want you to just have fun and enjoy yourself while you're at home."
I was stunned.
Even though I was leaving in less than two days now, we still hadn't ever talked about the summer or what the hell was going on between us because we'd been too busy fooling around every chance we had to be alone together this week. I frankly wasn't sure what I thought about any of that either, but this was... not at all what I expected to hear from Pete.
"Pete,..." I began until I realized I had no idea what I wanted to say after that.
Pete evidently noticed my confusion, so he just went on:
"It's been so long, Max. And I don't want to be stupid about this shit now," he said, shaking his head. "I mean, I know this year's been rough on you. And that's why you just need, like, a summer now... And-..." Pete stopped and looked up just as I noticed someone else pass by the end of the aisle.
It occurred to me then that it probably looked odd for the two of us to be standing there contemplating the baby food and diapers when we had no business being there. Looking back at Pete, I started slowly walking down the aisle toward the back of the store. Pete fell into step next to me as he went on:
"...And I don't want stuff with me to spill over into your time at home and mess that up for you. Because I know this hasn't been easy on you, either. And it shouldn't-..."
"...-Pete," I cut him off because I didn't want him feeling guilty about what he just mentioned. "... I told you not to worry about it. I'm fine with-..."
Pete stopped me mid-sentence, though, with a hard look of his eyes that made it clear he wasn't buying that from me.
"We're both scared of something."
"But you don't know that. I'm not afraid of-..."
"...-OK, maybe it wasn't fair of me to say," Pete conceded. "But that doesn't mean it isn't true..."
We'd reached the back of the store now, so Pete paused until we found another empty aisle, this time by the dish soap.
"... Look, I know what I'm scared of," Pete continued once he'd checked that no one was around to eavesdrop. "I'm scared of pushing you too much. And I'm scared that all this isn't what you really want. Or that you'll... you'll get frustrated with it and just give up when things go wrong, or-..."
"...-When they go wrong??" I interrupted immediately, bristling at those four words.
I hated Pete at that moment.
I hated Pete for saying that, like it was just fucking inevitable, like it would just undoubtedly happen. And I hated it because, deep down, I was afraid of that too.
And I still didn't want those words to be true.
"... That doesn't have to happen-..." I protested, but I stopped when Pete just snorted incredulously.
"Are you honestly trying to tell me you don't think it will?" he challenged, his eyes suddenly growing a little harder.
"But,... fuck, you know I'm trying..."
And I was trying. Fuck, was I ever trying to make this work and to do the right thing.
"I know you are," Pete nodded. "But-..."
"...-Pete, why are you afraid of me?"
As soon as I said that, though, Pete's eyes blazed for a quick second, and I was silenced by the sudden flash of hurt and sadness I saw in them.
"Do you even remember what happened that night you came back from seeing Juliana?" he asked, his voice suddenly tight and restrained.
Oh.
I hung my head. "Yeah, I remember," I admitted. "I wasn't that drunk."
And I did remember it, too. I remembered choking on Pete when I'd stumbled over to his room, I remembered not being able to kiss him, I remembered running away from him, and I remembered how sure I'd been that I was fucking everything up and hurting him.
"I'm just scared that I'm too much for you," Pete said quietly.
But I didn't see Pete's expression when he said that because I suddenly couldn't bring myself to look him in the face. Pete's voice sounded strained, though, almost as if he were speaking against his own will.
"Pete, I know..." I began, fumbling for words amongst all the guilt I felt. "...I know I'm slow about... about this... And I can only imagine how frustrating that must be for you to-..."
"...-It's fine." Pete interrupted as I lifted my eyes in time to see him shaking his head dismissively. "... And I know you don't want to talk about it, either, `cause you hung up on me and fucking turned off your phone when I called you after you left that night, and-..."
"...-I'm sor-..."
"-It's okay," he said quickly, cutting off my apology. "I understand what it's like to not want to talk about it... Jesus, I know what that's like..."
All of a sudden, I felt surrounded. Not by the shelves loaded with sponges and dish soap, but by everything that Pete and I had never talked about. And it didn't help, either, that I knew Pete was right, that I really was thrown off by this and that I didn't want to talk about it. I mean, I'd consciously vowed to myself that I wouldn't talk about it and drag Pete through my head trip. But now this whole fucking drug store brimmed full of everything I knew I should've asked Pete before today. Somehow, though, the only question I could focus my mind on in that moment was the one about the nagging undercurrent I felt running through all this:
"Pete, why do you expect so little from me?"
Pete opened his mouth to respond, but suddenly the tension in his face shifted back into his trademark grin before he spoke any of the words:
"Dude, I didn't think you were that hungry."
Huh?
I glanced back behind me, then, and saw Mike walking towards us, two boxes in his hands.
"I got some for you two," Mike smiled when he came up to us, adding a smug "dumbass" to Pete as he handed us each a box. Checking inside mine, I saw he'd even remembered to get my favorite kind, too.
"You didn't have to do that," I said, grinning back at my roommate.
"No," he shrugged, "but I wanted to..." Mike's eyes then dropped down to the floor as he went on, seeming embarrassed for a second: "... I've been good to you, Soto, and I don't want you to fuckin' forget that."
"Hey, you know I'll miss you," I laughed, smacking Mike in the arm playfully even though everything I'd just been doing in here suddenly made me feel like a complete ass for being so dishonest and sneaking around Mike like this.
"Yeah," Mike responded as he looked back up and started smirking in Pete's direction. "And you'll come crawlin' back to me within a week next year `cause you know there's none better-..."
"...-And plenty worse." I finished, nodding in agreement as I completed the ending of our usual description for each other as roommates.
Apparently, though, Mike just then noticed that I wasn't holding anything besides the pizza he'd given me, so he asked: "Did you get what you needed over here?"
He had no idea.
And neither did I.
"Oh, umm, not yet," I fumbled, embarrassed at being caught like this. "... I'll be right back."
I took off, leaving Mike and Pete together while I looked around the store for something I could have plausibly needed to get here. I eventually grabbed a roll of packing tape, paid for it up at the register, and then hurried back to find them.
When I finally did, I spotted a be-snorkled Mike and Pete goofing around with a display of pool toys near the middle of the store, and...
Shit.
... And in that brief moment it hit me that as excited as I was to be going back home, there really were some things I'd miss about being here, too. Before I could dwell on that thought, Pete looked up and saw me, so he and Mike replaced their masks and the three of us left to head back to campus.
When we reached the freshman quad, Mike walked with us as far as Pete's dorm where we split up again, Pete and I to "watch hockey" up in his room and Mike to go back to the term paper he had to finish tonight. I did my best to appear nonchalant as Mike thanked us for accompanying him on his study break, but the door to Pete's dorm had barely swung shut behind us before Pete and I were both racing up the stairs to his room.
Because I'd beaten Pete up to his floor, though, he nearly crashed into my back when I skidded to a halt half-way down his hall.
"Freaking...," I muttered under my breath as Pete looked around my shoulder to see why I'd stopped:
Sarah, one of the girls who lived a few doors away from Pete, was hovering in front of his room writing on his message board. Her face lit up when she saw us, too, and she immediately launched into a needlessly detailed explanation of how she'd just come by to see if she could borrow a marker to label some boxes she'd packed up for summer storage.
At that, and probably for the first time all year, I saw Pete seem on the verge of losing his patience with someone as he pointed out that she could've just taken the one she was using to write that message on his board. Sarah, however, seemed oblivious to Pete's irritation and remained blithely undeterred by logic. No, Sarah was clearly on a mission, and that mission was to hang out.
Freaking...
Even though I'd enjoyed hanging out with Sarah all year before this, I suddenly felt an irrational annoyance with her, too, since I was well aware that Pete had always been the most popular guy on his floor and had kept his door open to everyone all year. Having me over but not Sarah would be a sticky social maneuver not even Pete could pull off... So in she came to watch hockey with the two of us.
Fuckin' freaking...
I'd never been pissed to be watching an NHL playoff game before, but I was in absolutely no mood for it now. No, as soon as we were inside Pete's room my mind instantly plunged back into replaying everything Pete and I had been doing in there each night this week, and all I could think about now was how much I wanted Sarah to just get the fuck out so we could do it again right now.
Not only that, I was frustrated, too, because I knew Pete and I didn't have much time to begin with and that this was probably the last chance we'd have to be alone before I left for the summer. And I really wanted to make sure we had enough time to...
I quickly glanced away from the television screen to where Pete was seated next to Sarah on his futon. He was laughing, doing a much better job of listening to her commentary on the game than I was, and my eyes instantly focused on his open mouth, his full lips stretched wide in that fuckin' amazing grin of his, and...
Fuck.
My dick was suddenly throbbing full in my shorts, so I shifted as much as I could to hide it from view up in my seat on Pete's bed. I was staring at Pete now, too, even though I knew I shouldn't, while I watched the tight muscles dancing in the length of his throat as he took a distracted swig from his water bottle. I watched how the water left the curve of Pete's lips just slightly glistening wet so that they'd have to feel...
Fuck.
I was doing it again.
I'd never thought so much about a fuckin' blowjob in my life.
I forced my eyes away from Pete back to the screen, but the game just dissolved to a blur in my vision as I kept telling myself that I could do this. I mean, I knew I wanted it. Shit, it seemed like this was practically the only thing I'd thought about all week while Pete and I had been jacking each other off right here on this very bed every night... And as fuckin' hot as that had been each time, I still... - shit, why did my throat suddenly feel so dry?-... I still kept thinking about... about what Pete's fuckin' perfect mouth would feel like on my dick.
There.
I wanted Pete to suck my dick.
God, that sounded so fucked up.
But then the thing was I fuckin' knew Pete wanted to do it, too. I mean, fuck, the last two nights he'd been licking his tongue down the ridges of my abs until he was already half-way there, and I was sure he would've kept going if I hadn't stopped him and pulled him back up to kiss me... So Pete wanted to do it. And I really wanted him to do it, but... but I knew what that would mean.
It meant I would have to suck Pete's dick, too.
That wasn't because Pete had asked me to do it, though. No, Pete had never done anything to pressure me in that direction. So this was all about my rule I'd always kept before now: for every girl I'd ever been with, I'd always made sure things were equal between us. If I got off, so did she. If she went down on me, I went down on her. Reciprocity was important to me, and I didn't ever want to feel like I was just using someone.
And now, with Pete, that seemed all the more important, too. I worried that if I let Pete fuckin' suck me dry like I wanted him to without doing the same for him in return, then it would feel like I was just taking advantage of Pete for being gay, for trusting me, and for everything that had always prevented him from doing anything like this before now.
And I couldn't do that to my friend.
Of course I knew that in some ways I was being completely ridiculous, too. Pete would probably never even think of it that way. But still... it mattered to me.
Looking back over to the futon as I considered that, I caught Pete's eyes smoldering on me this time, and...
Fuck...
I watched Pete as his eyes slowly, palpably traced along the length of my legs that were stretched out on the bed in front of me, peering as far as he could inside the shadowy folds of my shorts and then lingering on the now obvious bulge trapped against my hip before he brought them up to rest on my face. Our eyes locked, and I fell into those two deep pools of hazel and brown and black, and...
... And my dick was fuckin' granite inside my shorts.
Yeah, I could do this.
I still wasn't sure if I actually wanted to, but I did want to do it for Pete. He deserved this. And if what I was about to do here would make me into a cocksucker, then I was going to make damn sure that it'd be the fuckin' blowjob to end all blowjobs.
I felt my eyes burning into Pete's as I affirmed that, watching as he shifted in his seat and tried to subtly readjust his package. Yeah, I wanted to be sure Pete would still be remembering tonight eighty years from now with a fuckin' stupid-ass grin on his face as he sat in his rocking chair.
I broke away from Pete's stare and checked the game clock. Twelve minutes to go in the third period. It seemed pretty clear Sarah would stay through the end of the game since she was into it and actually liked hockey. But how to get her out of the room when it was over...? If I were still here, she probably wouldn't go anywhere since Pete couldn't really say that he was too busy to hang out... But then I couldn't just leave and come back either since she lived right by the stairs and would see me coming back in, which would look odd... Fuck!...
Racking my brain for any way around this short of shoving Sarah and the fucking futon out into the hallway, I stared blankly at the figures moving across the screen until I came up with one that I thought might actually work. I waited for a commercial break when Pete was talking and seemed to have Sarah's complete attention and then quietly leaned back against the wall by Pete's bed, pushed my baseball hat slightly forward on my head so the brim was covering most of my face, and pretended to have fallen asleep. I was glad that I had the hat, too, since I wasn't able to fully suppress my smile when a few minutes later I heard Sarah laugh and whisper to Pete that I'd passed out on them.
I spent the rest of the game slouched against the wall with my eyes closed, inwardly cursing every time I heard the refs make a penalty call or some other stoppage of play. Up until the final seconds of the game, I was silently praying that neither team would tie the score to force an overtime and that Pete would be able to quickly convince Sarah to leave once it was over. And, thankfully, he did. Explaining that he had to finish up a paper but that it was fine to let me stay and sleep since he'd just be working anyway, I willed myself to remain still as Pete quietly led Sarah to the door.
Then, in almost the exact same second that I heard Pete click the lock behind her, I felt him jumping onto the bed next to me and batting the hat away from my face.
"You fuckin' smartass," Pete grinned, laughing in the brief moment it took me to slide my hand back through his soft hair and pull his lips to mine.
And then... fuck... and then I felt Pete's mouth again, everything wet and hot on my tongue as it pushed inside him and met his. My dick throbbed with need, too, still trapped inside my clothes, as every excruciating friction of Pete's tongue on mine echoed straight down to the racing pulse of my dick. But I kissed Pete slowly, though, wanting to just savor how fuckin' amazing this always felt with him and not to lose it before...
... Fuck, I wanted Pete.
I fuckin' wanted his m-... but just then I felt Pete press his steely hard dick up against the length of mine, rubbing our erections together with his hips until I practically swallowed his tongue down to my stomach it felt so good.
God, it felt so fucking good.
I was burning for air now, so I had to pull my mouth off Pete's. I immediately felt his ragged breath wash warm over my chin before I opened my eyes to see Pete... Fuck... to see Pete's mouth wet and glistening from our kiss, his sandy hair all disheveled from where I'd grabbed him, his hazel eyes so intense, his...
Fuck, I... I... I had to do this now.
I pressed Pete down to his back on the bed and leaned into him, but this time I didn't bring my lips to Pete's mouth. This time, I kissed him lower, grazing my tongue over the stubble growing underneath that square line of his jaw because I knew, now, how much Pete liked that. Just like I knew where to go from there, too, once I'd pulled his shirt over his head and tossed it along with mine across the room since I'd already mapped this territory during other nights this week. So I knew all those places on Pete's throat and his collar bone and the muscled slabs of his chest that would always make him dig his fingers into their already tight grip on my back, just like he was doing now. And I knew how gratifying it was to watch Pete suck in his breath so sharply that he had to bite down on his lip to stay quiet when I would swirl my tongue around his stiff, pointed nipples... I knew this already, and I fuckin' loved it, too.
But when I kept going lower, down to where the rapid rise and fall of Pete's huffing breath was highlighting that solid grid of tight muscle in his abs, I wasn't prepared for how fucking turned on I would be by those quick gasping sounds that escaped from his lips.
And, fuck, did I like them.
And I liked it, too, watching Pete's eyes widen, completely riveted on mine, when I moved still lower, kissing him lightly around his navel but not stopping there as I fought with the button and zipper of his shorts with one hand. Pete still hadn't stopped biting down on his lip either as he visibly struggled to control the heavy, ragged sound of his breath, but he managed to lift his hips up off the bed to help me slide his shorts and his underwear down the length of his strongly muscled thighs and powerful calves.
But as I leaned my face back in closer to where his hard, leaking dick now freely pointed straight up to his abs, Pete's eyes grew even wider and he lost it:
"Max, you know you..." he gasped, his breath thick and heavy, "...you know you don't have to..."
I didn't answer him right away.
Instead, I just kept my eyes locked onto Pete's as I brought my lips down to kiss him, twice, along that line of muscle running from his abs over his hip and down into his curly pubes that tickled my chin. I felt the length of his shaft sliding against the stubble of my cheek, too, while my nose was suddenly flooded with that Pete scent that now seemed even thicker and deeper than I'd ever smelled it before.
"Pete, you're not too much for me," I said, keeping my eyes steadily on his as I slid my body lower in the bed. I found one of his hands with my own, too, and brought it down to my head.
"I want to..." I said, threading Pete's fingers through my hair as I continued, "I want to show you what this feels like."
Pete's breath completely stopped for a few seconds when I said that.
I actually felt Pete's fat dick throb against my cheek, too, when, moments later, I watched him nod down to me, gulping thickly over something in his throat as his fingers tightened into a grip on my hair and urged me forward.
I smiled up at him for a second before I opened my lips, reached out my tongue, and slowly licked at his low-hanging balls.
... And as soon as my tongue hit Pete's skin, the hand I had resting on the small of his back actually felt the goosebumps on his skin as I heard Pete sharply suck in his breath through his teeth and hold it there.
Encouraged, I pushed my tongue against his sack, getting used to the sensation of how different and soft his skin felt there underneath the crinkly hairs tickling my nose. I felt the weight and shape of each of his balls, too, while I gently rolled them with my tongue before I closed my lips over one of them to suck it into my mouth.
Then, abruptly, I heard a ragged gasp escape between Pete's clenched teeth and felt him abandon the tight grip he had on my hair. Immediately, my vision was crowded out by Pete's abs crunching up in my face as he shot straight up in the bed, quickly hunched over me, and fumbled around on the floor for something I couldn't see.
What the fuck??
I lifted my mouth off of Pete just as I heard the sounds of ESPN's post-game show roaring behind me. I pulled my head up just in time to see Pete cranking up the volume on his TV and then dropping the remote down to the floor.
He grinned at me.
And we both laughed.
I reached up one of my hands to push Pete back down to the bed, though, and I felt that the skin of his panting chest was now damp with sweat. I dropped my mouth back to his sack again, and this time I took in his balls, sucking on them one after the other while I felt them with my tongue.
Pete was moaning softly through his clenched teeth now, something he'd never let himself do before, and his hips were twisting against the bed, seeming almost as though he were trying to simultaneously escape and push himself forward into my mouth.
It was time to really fuckin' go for this.
I released Pete's sack from my lips, dug my elbows down into the mattress, and scooted myself up slightly, sliding one of my hands underneath Pete to grab onto one of the tight, muscular globes of his ass and pull him closer to my face. Pete's dick had always looked big to me before, but he seemed fuckin' huge now with his rock hard shaft right there in my face, jumping with each rapid beat of his heart and leaking precum over the darker pink skin of his mushroom-shaped head.
Fuck...
I can do this, I assured myself as I looked back up to Pete's pleading eyes staring down at me past the rise and fall of his glistening chest. Pete's hands threaded through my hair, too, and urged me forward.
I can do this.
My own heart was hammering now as I looked back at Pete's hard dick in front of me, and I reasoned that there really wasn't any line I was about to cross here. No, it seemed fuckin' ridiculous to worry about anything like that now with Pete twisting naked underneath me, his balls already wet with my spit and my hand gripped tight onto his bare ass. If there were any lines here, I'd already crossed them a long time ago, and...
... And Pete looked really fuckin' hot right now, too.
So I took in a deep breath heavy with Pete's scent, reached out my tongue, and licked the outside of his shaft.
"Unghhhh..." Pete gasped through his teeth, the deep sound coming from somewhere in his chest and emphasized by his fingers tightening their grip on my hair and my shoulder.
Encouraged, I pressed my tongue flat against his shaft and traced a wet line up from the base almost to his head, and...
"And I was fuckin' amazed- not only by how the world wasn't ending because I had my mouth on a guy's dick, but also by how different, and how fucking hot, Pete's skin felt there. I could even feel his pulse beating right up against my tongue as I closed my lips over that super-sensitive bit of extra skin right below the crown and started to suck on it so-"
"...-ughh... God, Max..." Pete grunted, his breath heavy and practically wheezing through his lips now as he squirmed and bent up his knees on either side of my head, his muscular thighs bracketing my vision and tunneling all of my senses right into a complete focus on his leaking dick.
Fuck, it was so hot to be doing this to Pete, and... and... Fuck.
I tightened my grip on the muscles of Pete's ass, watching his eyes as I opened my lips and took his swollen cockhead into my mouth. With that, Pete's head quickly fell down into the pillows, and his back arched up off the bed as his hips lurched his dick forward, carrying my mouth along with him since my lips had kept their tight hold around his crown. I slid my hand that wasn't on Pete's ass over to his hips to steady him while I felt his precum smear a thick line across my tongue... And... And cum wasn't a good taste, but somehow, in the moment, it still tasted so fucking good.
I sucked on the head of Pete's cock for a minute then, swirling my tongue wetly over it while I tried to figure out how the breathing would work when I kept going. My lips were already stretched pretty wide around his head, and I started to worry about how far down I'd be able to go with his girth.
I couldn't see Pete's face anymore either since his head was still thrown back in the pillows above me, but I could tell he was enjoying it. I heard his haggard breath and I could see him clenching up the muscles in his abs and his thighs, so I knew I must've been doing alright. And that encouraged me, too.
If I was gonna be a cocksucker, then I might as well be good at it...
I moved my hand from Pete's hip over to the base of his dick to hold it steady, and I slowly slid my mouth an inch further down Pete's shaft. I pulled back up after that, swept my tongue across his head, and went back down, trying to go a little further this time and sucking as much as I could inside my outstretched lips.
I attempted to get into a rhythm as I went. But it was clear, to me at least, that I was no expert at this. I had my problems- the gagging, what to do with my teeth, the fatigue in my jaw, the gagging- but I made adjustments around them, and somehow they didn't seem to matter. No, as I got more and more into it, it was always Pete's response and the absolute enjoyment he showed with the way his hands urged me along, the way he kept whispering my name in strangled grunts under the louder drone of the TV, and the quickening of that throbbing pulse I felt inside his dick that swept me up in it.
Before this, whenever I'd gone down on a girl, there had always been an element of awe to the experience since I could only wonder at the mysteries of what her body felt and how she responded to my touch. But this was different. What I felt now was almost a communion with Pete. I felt bonded to Pete by the full knowledge of exactly what each caress of my lips and tongue must have felt like to him because I fucking felt it now, too, reverberating all the way down to my own rock hard, aching dick.
And, fuck, was my dick hard.
Before tonight, I'd wondered if I would really get the appeal of sucking dick... That seemed fucking silly now. The appeal was all too clear.
I was never able to get much more than half-way down the formidable length of Pete's shaft, but Pete seemed beyond caring. I wanted to make this as fuckin' good as possible for him, though, so I used my hand to rub against the base of his dick with my thumb while I massaged and cupped his balls with my fingers. And it was there that I first felt it building. I felt Pete's sack drawing up closer to his body as his breath grew deeper, as his muscles visibly tightened in his arms and thighs, as his head shot back up from the pillows to meet my eyes again, and as I saw all those signals I'd already come to learn meant he was getting close.
I watched, riveted, as Pete's hazel eyes locked onto mine and widened at the sight of his own dick buried inside my mouth as he raggedly blurted out my name one more time.
Then, quickly, Pete squeezed his eyes shut and dropped his head back to the bed, his hands relinquishing their grip on my hair as he scrambled above him for a pillow and clutched it down tightly over his face. And I was so completely engrossed by the deeply guttural sound of Pete's muffled yell into that pillow that I didn't even notice that his dick wasn't just throbbing anymore.
No, Pete's dick was practically jumping inside my throat now where his head was still buried almost as deep as I'd been able to take him while the first hot blast of his cum ripped out of him.
It hit me with a force I wasn't at all prepared for- fuck, I hadn't even decided what I would do at this point- and I quickly choked on the sheer volume of Pete's cum now sliding down my throat. I pulled up, my lips stretching with each pulse of his subsequent shots until I was off of him, gasping for air as the final two heavy ropes landed across my tongue and then my chin.
Fuck, it felt like Pete's cum was everywhere again- streaked across my throat, my tongue, my lips, my chin- and the taste, the texture, the smell of it was thick in my mouth. I looked back down at his wet, glistening, still throbbing dick. Swollen and slick with my spit and Pete's cum.
Fuck...
Aside from his dick, Pete's entire body seemed to have gone limp beneath me, and if it weren't for the still heavy huffing of his chest that was now flushed a bright and blotchy red, I would've wondered if he had smothered himself with that pillow.
With Pete's face hidden from my view, I felt a quick flash of uncertainty about what I'd just done. So I pulled my hand away from his dick and used the back of it to wipe some of the jizz off of my chin while I waited for...
Pete threw the pillow off his face. And when he did, I saw the fuckin' biggest, most beautiful grin I'd ever seen on him.
"Aaagggghhhhhhhhhhhh," he screamed, his smile stretching even wider when his hazel eyes fell onto mine. "Max,... that was...," he panted heavily, visibly struggling to form the words when his mouth was fuckin' smiling so much. "...that was ..."
And then Pete's hands were on my face pulling me up to him until his lips crashed sloppily down onto mine and he drove his tongue forward into my mouth. It lasted only a few seconds, though, before Pete had to pull away, our breath ragged and short.
"Arrghhh," he exclaimed, lacing his fingers tightly through my hair once again and pulling my forehead up against his.
"Max,... you're so..." he gasped over the words, but his lips were back on me before he could say anything else. And now it was just Pete's mouth that I felt again, acutely reminding me of the ache of my own body that centered down in the insistent throb of my dick. As soon as I remembered that, too, I felt Pete's hand dropping down between us until he found my dick and squeezed it through the fabric of my shorts.
"Now??... Now can I?" Pete asked, breaking away from our kiss, his fuckin' beautiful eyes locking onto mine.
Oh fuck.
"Fuck, Pete..." my own breath was shallow and panting just as quickly as his now. "... Please, Pete..."
It was the closest I'd ever come in my life to actually begging for it, and I barely had time to catch the smile on Pete's face before he kissed me again, this time even more fiercely than before. He was rolling me over onto my back, too, fighting down the zipper to my shorts with his hand before he slid them off me. I felt my now freed erection slap me against my abs as Pete then pulled his lips from mine and started sliding down my body.
It almost seemed to be happening in slow motion, too, as I watched Pete's head moving down past my chest and my abs, even though I knew he couldn't possibly be taking his time, his hands gripping onto my hips and pulling me up closer to him until- oh fuck, Oh Fuck- until Pete's eyes met mine and his lips stretched wide and his mouth- Pete's fuckin' incredible mouth- it was, oh fuck, it was on me, his lips closing over the head of my dick and... and my whole fuckin' head was swirling like Pete's tongue on me, on my fucking dick where everything was hot and wet and buzzing with... with... my neck felt weak all of a sudden and I couldn't keep my eyes open, but I had to, I fuckin' had to watch this as I saw Pete- Pete- licking his hot, wet tongue up and down my dick which throbbed so fuckin' much that I grabbed his soft hair and pulled him away before I lost it and exploded all over his face right then because this was just too fuckin' much... too fuckin' much with Pete and... and Pete's mouth... Pete's mouth that was fuckin' smiling up at me now with his eyes so warm when they met mine and he pushed me back and slurped his way up to the head of my dick that- Holy Shit- that was just so fuckin' hard I wanted Pete to just please, please... but then he fucking did cause Pete's lips were closing back around my head so that I had to grip so hard onto his shoulders because I didn't want Pete to let go even if we did fall off the bed because the whole fucking room was spinning now as I saw him- I fucking saw Pete playing with my foreskin, teasing it with his tongue where it was sooo senstive- and it felt so freaking awesome with his mouth sliding up against my shaft and everything so warm and wet and slick and wonderful inside Pete even though it wasn't just warm in Pete's mouth anymore cause now I fuckin' felt it everywhere, all over me as my hips lurched forward to sink deeper into Pete and Pete moved his lips that looked even more fuckin' hot smiling around my dick as his eyes watched me watching him sliding up and down on my dick until... until I felt my balls tightening up where Pete had them in his hand and my whole body felt so tight with all my muscles locking up except for my arm that had the hand holding Pete's face on my dick that was... fuck... that fuck... I felt it coming up, blasting out of me into Pete's mouth that stayed right there on me even when I felt it happen again... and I couldn't even... and... and... fucking again... and...
"Peeeette!"
To be continued.