The usual copyrights exist on this as well as all of my works. This story involves contact between young males. If this type of story is not what you're accustomed too, fit for your liking, or for any reason forbidden where you live, please do not read any further. I also apologize for any vulgar and offensive language that may be presented. This is the way that I depict my characters and I will write them accordingly. On the other hand, if none of the above applies to you then enjoy this and many of my other works of fiction.
Chapter 4
"What's up Jayse" Brandon said in a low voice as I contemplated the right words to say, "so you can't talk?"
"Hi Brandon" I said in a soft voice as Brandon walked over to me with the flowers still in his hands. They were down by his waist now and from the look in his eyes I knew he was upset with me.
"Hi Brandon?" Brandon asked surprised, "damn it's like that?"
I folded my arms as I looked at the ground feeling awkward around Brandon. This was the first time we had seen each other in months. He still looked sexy in his black and gray jogging suit. He even bulked up a little bit!
"Shit I guess so huh?" Brandon said still talking, "you ain't open yo mouth yet!"
"Brandon..." I said starting out, "I just said..."
"Hi, I know" Brandon said along with me, "that's all you can say to the man that loves you?"
I stared Brandon in the eyes as I searched for something to say. For months, I dreamed about this moment and now that we were standing face to face in front of each other, I couldn't think of anything to say so I just stood there.
"I mean look at you..." Brandon said looking at me as I did the same, "you look uncomfortable being around me."
"I'm not uncomfortable" I said to Brandon.
"Then why are you treating me like this yo?" Brandon asked me as I didn't respond, "hello?"
"What Brandon?" I shouted.
"Nothing" Brandon said disappointed, "here are your flowers."
I grabbed the flowers out of Brandon's hand as he gave them to me. He didn't say anything after; he just turned around and went walking towards his car.
I couldn't believe that this is how we were going to remember each other and just walk away from everything. I had to do something! I had to say something!
"Brandon wait" I screamed as Brandon stopped and turned around facing me.
"So now you can talk" Brandon said facing me as I rolled my eyes.
"I see that attitude didn't go anywhere" Brandon stated staring at me, "what's up boo?"
I sighed as Brandon called me that. I knew he saw the expression on my face because he started shaking his head.
"Whatever Jayse" Brandon said about to get in his car.
"Brandon please" I said grabbing his arm as I felt the strength extruding from them.
"What?" Brandon asked upset as he looked down at me grabbing his arm. I quickly removed my hand as he shook his head again.
"Why you acting like this yo?" Brandon asked annoyed.
"I'm not acting like nothing..." I said defensively.
"Yes you are Jayse" Brandon said staring at me, "I gave you your space for 6 months. I give you shit and you don't even respond. I come up to this fucking school to surprise you and I catch you on a date with Q!"
"We weren't on a date" I said quickly.
"Fuck it then!" Brandon said yelling, "why in the hell can't you return my calls?"
"Brandon keep your voice down" I said looking around to make sure that no one was around.
"I'm hurt yo!" Brandon said as his voice broke, "I'll do and say whatever I want!"
"Brandon...nothing...happened!" I said calmly.
"Then why the fuck didn't you respond to my calls?" Brandon said as I saw the hurt in his eyes and fought back my tears, "you don't want me anymore?"
"Brandon..." I said starting out as my voice cracked, "I..."
"After everything we went through Jayse man..." Brandon said turning away from me as I fought hard not to cry. I stretched out my arm and started rubbing his back to console him.
"I can't even look at you right now Jayse" Brandon said as I bit my lip thinking of what to say next.
"I'm starting to think that I'm wasting my time with you" Brandon said as I started feeling terrible.
"Why are you thinking that?" I asked as I fanned away my tears, "I just..."
"What?" Brandon said turning around to face me as he wiped his eyes, "you needed time to see who you really wanted?"
"Stop acting like you know what I'm going through!" I said upset, "I saw you kill a man in cold blood, remember that?"
"You're safe now right?" Brandon asked me as I looked away from him, "Dantae is in jail, Kris moved away, Krush is dead...I mean, I took care of you right! I told you I wouldn't let anything happen to you and I didn't."
"Did you have to kill Krush?" I asked staring Brandon in the eyes.
"I did what I had to do to make sure that you were safe" Brandon said avoiding the question as I shook my head.
"So you want me to keep lying, like I always have to the cops?" I asked.
"Jayse, I never told you to lie" Brandon stated, "I told you to tell the cops what you saw."
"I told them" I yelled back emotional, "I told them how I saw you shoot Krush in cold blood. They asked me if Krush was armed and I told them I couldn't remember. You know that they are thinking of charging you with death?"
"Jayse it was self defense" Brandon said as I shook my head.
"If I didn't get this taken care of, you would still be looking over your back every minute of your life" Brandon screamed.
"I never asked you to kill him!" I screamed back as people walked by and stared at us.
I looked at the passersby and back at Brandon as he did the same thing. He was breathing just as heavy as me as I tried to calm my nerves.
"I think that we're gathering up an audience" I said to Brandon as he nodded his head, "Do you want to come inside?"
"Am I welcomed?" Brandon asked sarcastically.
I sighed and started walking as Brandon followed me. Just then, Detective Morgan, the detective working Brandon's case popped up out of nowhere. He was an average height, African-American who looked to be in his late 30s. He was very unattractive, dark skin and wore big glasses that hung on his big ears.
"Good evening gentleman" Detective Morgan said walking up on us.
"What the hell are you doing here?" Brandon asked as I slapped him on the arm.
"I should be asking you the same thing Mr. Wallace" Det. Morgan said, "you seem to be a long way from home."
"I can go wherever I want to, all right" Brandon said grabbing me by the arm as he walked me towards my dorm building.
"You're right sir" Det. Morgan said, "and all I'm saying sir is that suspicious drives don't help out your case!"
"I don't have a case" Brandon stated.
"Not yet" Det. Morgan said, "but with the right amount of evidence sir, I will have enough to have justice prevail. Mr. Grier, I will be seeing you next week!"
"You guys have done all the questioning needed for this case" Brandon stated looking at Det. Wallace and then back at me, "babe you don't have to go anywhere you don't want to."
"Mr. Wallace, you are interfering with police business" Det. Wallace stated, "need I remind you that we are building a strong case on you as it is, and if need be, I can question anyone that I see fit."
"Why don't you come up out that suit one good time and show me how big and bad you really are?" Brandon asked walking up to the detective as I grabbed him and walked him inside my dorm.
"Evening Gentleman" Det. Wallace said walking away as we stared at him from inside the building.
"You see that shit!" Brandon screamed as I looked around at people once again staring, "everybody got it in for us babe!"
Brandon watched my expressions and looked around the lobby as he noticed that we weren't alone. I grabbed his hand as I walked him upstairs to my dorm room.
I felt awkward about bringing him upstairs to my room but decided that we really needed to discuss some things, i.e. our relationship.
I walked into my room first and waited for Brandon to follow. He walked in slowly as he looked around the room and admired how neatly Max and I kept everything.
"This is a nice size room for two people" Brandon said as I watched him smiling.
"What you smiling about?" Brandon asked me as I shook my head and closed my door. Just as I was closing my door, someone stopped it and called my name.
"Jayse" Mehete said calling my name.
"Mehete?" I asked opening my door to find him on the other side, "hey?"
"Hey I was wondering if that was you some man came by here looking for you" Mehete said referring to the detective.
"Oh thanks" I said not to happy that he came up to my room. I watched Mehete stare at Brandon as Brandon continued to look around my room.
"Uh" I said starting out as I cleared my throat, "Mehete this is Brandon, Brandon this is Mehete, he stays in the suite next door."
"Wassup man" Brandon said nodding his head at the guy.
"Hi" Mehete said, "well um, I guess I better get going then. See you around Jayse. Bye Brandon."
"You already making friends?" Brandon asked looking through the albums he gave me as he looked under my bed and found them.
"He's not my friend" I said walking over to my bed to sit down.
"Then why did you introduce me to him then?" Brandon asked sitting next to me as our elbows touched.
"I just didn't want to seem rude" I said.
"Oh ok" Brandon said not believing me, "why didn't you introduce me as your boyfriend then?"
I watched Brandon as he continued to look through the CD's that he gave me, which were never listened to.
"Brandon" I said sighing.
"Jayse it's cool" Brandon said getting up from my bed and placing the CD's back in the box I had them in, "it's obvious you're over us! So why shouldn't I be, right?"
"I just think that it's a difficult time for us to be together right now" I said truthfully as I watched Brandon try hard to not look at me.
"Say something" I said after a moment of silence went by.
"What is there to say, Jayse?" Brandon said clearing his throat, "I mean you've moved on..."
"Stop saying that" I said sighing as Brandon knocked my CD's down. I jumped from the sound and the level of his anger as I was afraid to even look at him.
"Then what in the hell do you call this Jayse?" Brandon screamed as I bent down to pick up the CD's, "naw, you let that shit stay right down there. You never listened to them, so why do you care about them now?"
I couldn't help it, as I started crying. I didn't know if it was because Brandon was yelling at me, because he was hurt, or because I knew that this was the end.
I stopped picking up the CD's as I sobbed into my hands. I waited for Brandon to bend down to me and console me but he never did. I heard him sniffle and I knew that he was crying too.
I was afraid to move. It was my fault he was upset. It was my fault because I led him on all these months.
"Man fuck this shit" Brandon said walking past me.
"Brandon please" I said calling after him. I was afraid of him leaving upset. I didn't want him to do nothing stupid.
I walked slowly behind him as I wrapped my arms around his body and laid my head on his back.
I felt him sigh heavy as he let me caress him one last time.
"I wanna look at you one last time" Brandon said as his voice cracked, "but I..."
"You can look at me" I said as I continued crying. My tears stained his shirt but I didn't care. I started squeezing his body to make sure that this hug would last forever.
"On the rooftop" Brandon said starting out as we both sniffed, "you really wanted to pick me, didn't you?"
"Of course" I said as Brandon shook his head and started wiping his eyes, "I didn't want the other guys to be heartbroken..."
"But I'm the one that suffered the most Jayse" Brandon said, "you and I both knew who you really wanted and you mean to tell me that you didn't want to hurt their feelings? Fuck them! I'm your man! Well I was! How long do you need your `space??"
"I don't know yet" I said as Brandon kept shaking his head.
"Yeah I'm wasting my time" Brandon said trying to get out of my grasp.
"Brandon please don't leave like this" I said grabbing his shirt tail.
"Take care of yourself Jayse" Brandon said as he walked out my room door. I tried to grab his tail again but he walked away too fast.
I leaned against my door crying as I looked at the mess on the floor. I wanted to escape. I wanted to get away. I just needed someone to talk to so that I could vent.
I went to my phone and dialed Max's number first but it went straight to voicemail. I tried Toney next and he told me that he wasn't busy and would be right over.
I walked over to my bed and sat there, staring off into space. I felt sick to my stomach and only wanted to break away from everything, just for a minute.
I relaxed on my bed for a bit, until I heard someone knock on my door. I got up to answer it and found Toney and Eryck on the other side. I immediately hugged them and started crying as they consoled me.
They both knew what had happened without me even speaking, and from the looks of my CD's on the floor, I knew that they must have known.
"How long has he been gone?" Eryck asked rubbing my back as Toney rubbed my left hand.
"He just left a little while ago" I said softly, "the first time that we've seen each other in over 6 months and it ends like this."
"Do you want to talk about it?" Toney asked me as I shook my head no, "where the hell is Max?"
"I don't know" I said truthfully, "I called his phone and it went straight to voicemail."
"Max has been missing a lot lately" Toney stated upset. I thought I was the only one that noticed.
"I'm sorry Jayse" Eryck said, changing the subject, "do you think that there's still a chance with you two?"
"I don't think so" I said as Toney stopped rubbing my back and stood up.
"Well let's go out" Toney said excited as Eryck and I both looked at him.
"Go out where?" Eryck and I both asked at the same time.
"I don't know" Toney said thinking, "anywhere!"
"I just came back from being out with Q" I said as Toney and Eryck both turned their heads quickly at me, "I'm not in the mood to be going out right now!"
"Really?" Eryck asked as Toney sat back down next to me, "did Brandon see you guys?"
"Yep" I said standing up, "and he was not too happy about the scene, trust me."
"Well Jayse can you blame him" Toney said as Eryck nudged him on the shoulder, "what? I'm sorry but the guy caught you with one of the few people he hates in this world!"
"But he was here Toney" I said pleading, "waiting for me, with flowers in his hands!"
"Oh Jayse" Eryck said softly as he clenched his chest. I fought back the tears as I continued speaking.
"It's all my fault" I said, "I never should have played him like I did!"
"But you needed time to think Jayse" Eryck said.
"I know" I said pacing in the room.
"You didn't know he was going to be here" Eryck continued as Toney jumped in.
"But Brandon came unannounced" Toney stated.
"To rekindle his love for Jayse" Eryck said looking over at Toney upset.
"What's there to rekindle?" Toney stated as Eryck rolled his eyes, "Jayse told him blankly 6 months ago that he needed time!"
"And what is so bad about running after the person you love" Eryck asked.
"Nothing is wrong with it" Toney stated, "but Brandon should have stayed away like all the other guys did."
"They didn't!" I said quietly as both guys looked over at me. I bent down to pick up the CD's as Toney and Eryck looked at them. I reached under my bed and grabbed the rest of the stuff that I received from Terrance and Q.
"Wow" Toney said. I didn't know if he was jealous or amazed but I thought that I would show them what I have been going through.
"Nothing's changed, huh?" Eryck asked as I shook my head no and sat Indian style on the cold floor.
"Wow" Toney said again looking at all the gifts.
"Can you say something different besides wow?" Eryck asked annoyed as Toney rolled his eyes.
"What are you going do?" Toney asked sitting next to me with his knees to his chest, as I thought about what he said.
"I don't know" I said honestly. I just need to focus on school and leave all of this alone. There's no hope for me and Brandon anymore. He's made that clear today...or did I?
Just then Eryck's cell phone rang as he bent down to see who it was. All of a sudden a smile came on his face as he tucked the phone back in his pocket.
"Who was that?" Toney asked smiling.
"No one" Eryck said quickly as Toney looked over at me and smiled, "what?"
"When Mario calls you" Toney said starting out, "we never see a smile like that on your face."
"It was a friend" Eryck said confessing.
"Who?" I asked intrigued.
"Someone I met the other day" Eryck confessed not staring Toney and I in the eyes.
"Who?" Toney asked smiling.
"Quit being nosey" Eryck said annoyed, "besides we are supposed to be here for Jayse."
"Unh unh enough about my problems" I stated, "what's going on with you?"
"Ok this is to never leave the room" Eryck said as Toney and I both nodded our heads, "I think I may have a crush on another guy."
"Are you cheating on Mario?" Toney asked.
"No" Eryck said quickly as he got up from my bed, "although I do feel like I'm betraying his trust."
"You didn't sleep with him or anything did you?" I asked softly.
"No" Eryck stated, "but I have been fantasizing a lot about him lately. His name is Renzo. He plays the piano. I happened to overhear him one day when I was walking to class and curiosity got the best of me, so I walked in on him rehearsing."
"Is that it?" Toney asked wanting more news.
"Well we exchanged numbers and he sort of asked me to perform with him in the talent show in a few weeks. I don't know if I should. I mean, what do you guys think?"
"I don't think you should" I said truthfully.
"Well I think you should" Toney said as Eryck and I looked over at him, "more time with him will let you realize if you really want to be with Mario or not."
"I love Mario" Eryck stated truthfully.
"Are you sure?" Toney asked Eryck as Eryck thought it over.
"The fact that you're thinking about it means that you know I'm right" Toney said as Eryck shook his head upset.
"I'm not in the mood for this right now" Eryck said turning his back to us.
"You're never in the mood to discuss Mario" Toney said standing up, "we give your advice about all of our boyfriends but when it comes down to your own problems you pretend like everything is all good!"
"Because it is Toney" Eryck said turning around upset.
"No it's not" Toney said as Eryck sighed heavily, "you're falling for a complete stranger Eryck! I'm not saying that it might not be any attraction there with the guy but face it man, you and Mario have reached the end."
"That's real easy for you to say!" Eryck barked back, "you throw Omar to the side every time you guys get into an argument instead of growing up and fighting for the boy!"
"You don't know what we go through to be commenting ok" Toney said.
"Really?" Eryck asked, "I have seen you talk to Omar as if he was a child and the minute he gives you a little bit of backbone you cower and run away. You run right into the arms of anything that is walking with a dick between his legs until Omar came running back like a sad puppy dog apologizing for nothing that he has done! And get this, like clockwork, you run right back to Omar and leave the guy that you were talking to, in the dark!"
"Shut up Eryck" Toney screamed upset as they both huffed at each other.
"Guys, please let's just talk this out ok" I said standing up, reasoning, "come on things were said that we didn't mean..."
"I meant everything I said Jayse" Eryck said upset, "I am tired of him treating his relationship with Omar like it's a hobby."
"But Eryck it's his life" I said truthfully, "he's entitled to live it anyway that he sees fit!"
"Thank you" Toney said as Eryck looked at me.
"Fine I won't say nothing anymore about your relationship" Eryck said, "I expect the same from you as well!"
"Cool" Toney said agreeing.
"Good" I said happy that the fight was over.
After we cooled down, we ordered pizza and talked for hours about trivial things and nothing pertaining to relationships. I think deep down, we all knew that when it came to relationships, we all were battling our own demons.
A few times they both checked their phones and were texting, to people that never revealed, while I keep my phone at bay. I never once went to check any messages or see if I had any missed calls. I tried my best to take my mind off of Brandon.
I thought the guys were going to go back to their dorm, but surprising, neither one of them left. We instead crashed on my bed and went to sleep.
Please feel free to email comments at jaypoet929@yahoo.com. Special thanks to all the fans so far. Thank You for reading my story. Let love overcome HATE!