Missing You
Fic: Missing You
Missing You
Author: Aphrodite
Feedback: Yes, send to nsaphrodite@yahoo.com
Disclaimer: Just fiction...
Rating: R
Summary: Inspired by Aaliyah's "Miss You".
Author's Notes: I have a new and improved website, Aphrodite's Labyrinth, where you'll find all my 'Nsync inspired fics including my very first fanfic, "A Tale of Two Boybands". To read fics on my current muse, Jason Castro, check out Castrofics under Aphrodite.
Missing You
I never thought it was possible to miss someone so much until now as I sit here by the window, staring up at the sky with tears cascading down my face. Then again, I didn't think I would fall madly in love with you when you were just fourteen years old. One phone call was all it took and I was up and running back to Memphis to follow you around Europe as you pursued our dreams of becoming pop stars. I miss you. There is no denial. I miss the musky scent of your sweat on my bedsheets. I miss the sweet taste of your strawberry red lips. I miss the infectious laugh of your morning hellos. I miss everything about you. I miss you so much that my heart aches and sometimes I feel the only way to keep from hurting is to end it all. I miss you so much I no longer want to be a part of this world without you standing beside me.
You were all that I knew. Josh and Justin, a dynamic duo, on and off stage, that no one could touch or match. You once said that your soul mate was someone who could complement you as a person. That person I would like to believe was me. We were two halves, began as the best of friends, finally coming together as one, and now separating once again at the very end. In the studio, our chemistry was unparalleled. Our harmonies- perfect. In the bedroom, we made beautiful love together, as beautiful as the music we created.
I remembered fondly the first time we made love together. It was snowing so hard outside our hotel we were forced to postpone our concert that night and stayed in. Joey, Chris, and Lance retreated to their respective rooms. When it was time for me to tuck you in bed, you threw your arms around me and clung onto me.
"I'm cold," you murmured into my chest, "hold me."
I sighed deeply, tightening my hold around your waist as I lowered you on your bed and lay on top of you, cushioned in between the warmth of your legs. You raised your legs off the bed and wrapped them around my waist, pulling our bodies closer and closer and closer...
"I love you," you confessed. "Do you love me?"
"I love you so much, Justin, it hurts."
"Then show me."
"But-"
"No, buts. There's no one here, but you and me. What goes on between you and me is our business and no one else."
"Your mom is going to kill me."
"Then, she's going to have to kill me first because I won't let her touch you without going through me."
"Justin, God, I love you so much."
"Then show me that you love me. Make love to me."
That night as the snow blew across Germany, you and I made amorous love full of passions and ardor. Because it was your first time, I was extremely gentle and caring of my precious baby. I prepared you generously with my entire supply of lubricant that would have lasted me for an entire year and penetrated you so slowly that at one point I swore you even lapsed into slumber. I held you when the pain of love-making was too much for your teenage body while kissing away tears that never seemed to stop falling.
As they are now.
We were inseparable as our love affair intensified. Wherever you went I went and vice versa. From the beginning, you were my shadow. As our love affair blossomed, I became yours. I would eventually slip into the darkness of your world.
Off to Europe, you went away in pursuit of a dream you could not let go. I understood. I had the same dreams, too. Unlike you, our love was enough. Our love was enough to keep us alive, but you needed more. The night before your scheduled flight for Europe, we met up at your place to make love. The minute our eyes met, the fire that I was afraid had been extinguished when you went away for months on end to record your album returned with renewed passion. We kissed like we'd never been kissed. We made passionate love all through the night. We cried together. You from sheer joy. Me from utter sadness. As we came down from our orgasmic bliss, I held you as tight as you did many nights ago back in Germany, afraid that if I let you go, you'd never return to me. You giggled. You told me, "Never. I'm forever yours." I reluctantly let you go never to see you again.
From the comfort of our group, you up and left. You were a man now, no longer a boy. You didn't need me to hold your hand anymore. You didn't need me to guide you anymore. You were your own man. You designed your own destiny, a fate that would take you to the top of the world in a matter of months. You accomplished what none of us could- capture the world's hearts in your hands. You had always been our golden child and now you were everyone's. Adored by million of girls, envied by million of straight boys, swooned by millions of women, lusted by millions of gay men, you were King of the world and all I could do was sit and think about the days we used to share. I wondered if you still cared, if you were still the same, if fame had not jaded you yet, if your heart still belonged to me. I know that you got another life now that warranted all your concentration and full attention. You got a new life now. You got a new group of "friends" that suddenly excluded me from their inner circle. You got a life outside of Josh's world now. And there's nothing left for me to do but slip into the darkness of the world you left behind when you soared for the stars.
I can't breathe no more. Since you went away, I don't really feel like talking; don't want to hear you don't love me. Baby do you understand me? I can't do a thing without you.
It's been too long and I'm lost without you. What am I going do? I said I've been needing you, wanting you, wondering if you're the same and who's been with you. Is your heart still mine? I want to cry sometimes because I've been missing you. I miss you.
Miss You by Aaliyah
[CHORUS]
It's been too long and I'm lost without u
What am I gonna do
Said I been needin' you, wantin' you
(Said I need you)
Wonderin' if ur the same and who's been with you
Is ur heart still mine
I wanna cry sometimes
I miss you
[VERSE 1]
Off to college
Yes you went away
Straight from high school
You up and left me
We were close friends
Also lovers
Did everything
For one another
Now ur gone and I'm lost without you here now
But I know I gotta live and make it somehow
Come back...to me
Can you...hear me (Callin')
Hear me...callin' (For you)
For you...'Cuz it's
[CHORUS]
It's been too long and I'm lost without you
What am I gonna do
Said I been needin' you, wantin' you
Wonderin' if ur the same and who's been with you
Is ur heart still mine
I wanna cry sometimes
I miss you
[VERSE 2]
Now I'm sittin' here
Thinkin' 'bout you
And the days we used to share
It's drivin' me crazy
I don't know what to do
I'm just wonderin' if you still care
I don't wanna let you know
That it's killin' me
I know you got another life you gotta concentrate baby
Come back...to me
Can you...hear me (Callin')
Hear me...callin' (For you)
For you...'Cuz it's
[CHORUS 2x]
It's been too long and I'm lost without you
What am I gonna do
Said I been needin' you, wantin' you
Wonderin' if ur the same and who's been with you
Is ur heart still mine
I wanna cry sometimes
I miss you
[BRIDGE]
I...can't...breathe...no...more
Since you went away I
Don't really feel like talkin'
Don't wanna hear you don't love me
Baby do you understand me
I can't do a thing without you
[CHORUS 3x]
It's been too long and I'm lost without you
(Tell me what I'm gonna do)
What am I gonna do
Said I been needin' you, wantin' you
Wonderin' if ur the same and who's been with you
Is ur heart still mine
I wanna cry sometimes
I miss you