Authors Note: Yeah this is really really late, so shoot me. I'm sorry, but I've had some stuff going on lately and this hasn't been really top priority, so get over it. In the future, I hope to submit sooner, but these past few weeks have been tough. I owe a HUGE thank you to my friend Leo. For being there to talk to me, for helping me through some tough stuff. Thanks man, more than you know. Thanks to him, everything will most likely work out..And I want him to know how much I really appreciate his support. Anyway, I hope you like this next chapter, although I'm not too sure that I have any readers because I haven't gotten a single response to the last one..ok, I got 1. so WRITE ME>>PLEASE!! Blue4Clue4@aol.com. I love feedback, hook me up!!! Please...feedback...it's good!! So, here's chapter three!
Disclaimer: I do not know the Backstreet Boys, and I don't know anything about they're sexual preferences, it's all fiction. Blah blah blah, you know if you don't like it, leave, if you're too young, leave..and if you like it..READ...so with no further ado....music to my ears.
Chapter 3-- More Than That
The tears were at a steady flow now. I looked up somehow in denial of what I would see. It couldn't be him, he had touring, he had the guys, and although I had talked to him, this drop in was completely unannounced, uninvited, but certainly not unwelcomed. My gaze met his, and I saw his tears match mine. Only, in that instant, that very moment, did our tears turn to those of happiness, because I once again felt so at ease, and so like I should.
"Brian, I...what..." I barely squeaked the words out before I found myself in a silence, a natural silence.
"Scott, that was absolutely beautiful, I didn't know you could sing or play like that." He whispered so only I could hear as he pulled me to my feet and enveloped me in his warm, protective grasp.
"Brian," I buried my face in his shoulder and spoke to only him, "Please, call me Scotty"
I started to think back to the past weeks, and how life had been without Brian. It just seemed so right when he was near. He comforted me with just a smile or a look. He did it unknowingly, it was just him, and he was all that I really needed. Although, he had missed quite a bit while he was gone, I mean, he couldn't possibly understand everything yet, right? I didn't really see any reason to worry him, he had enough weight on his shoulders already. Thousands, if not millions of people depended on him. He had responsibility out the ears to the public, his fans, the guys, his family, he didn't need more to put a strain on him. It would have to wait.
"What?" He laughed it out to the night, he seemed confused. "What do you mean?"
"I mean that, Steven used to call me Scotty, please, call me Scotty."
"Ok kid, Scotty it is, " Brian said with so much heart in his voice "Hey Scotty..?" The mood was lightened.
"Yeah Brian?" The humor had returned to my voice and I was again feeling comfortable with myself, with my life.
" Do you think that maybe we could go inside, I'm cold." He sounded just like the little boy that I know he had lurking inside him, not that that was a bad thing or anything.
"Yeah, but we'll be open to the wrath of my brothers." I blurted without a second thought.
He just laughed and started to pull away. He extended his arm and I promptly took his hand and we walked up to the apartment. I took a much needed deep breath before I unlocked the door. As I opened it, I was relieved to see no one waiting for me behind it. I quickly ran to my room to deposit my guitar in its safe keeping and I then rejoined Brian in the common room. He was so peaceful looking. As is sat next to him he put his arm around me. I looked at him, and gazed into his big and beautiful blue eyes.
"So, are you warm yet?" I asked, not knowing what to say at that moment.
"Im getting there," he said very casually.
" Can I tell you something Bri?" I blurted out.
"Anything," he said calmly.
" Whenever I am with you everything is sweeter, my problems seem to disappear. Without you in my life I honestly don't know what I would do. Sometimes I think about where my life is going; I come up with the conclusion that nothing ever goes right... Then I think about you, and everything just seems brighter. Like a little ray of sunshine that is casting over my stormy sky and.."
"Um, Scotty, that's lame." He said courtly, but I sensed the held back laughter parading inside him.
"Yeah, shove it..You...dancing singing, non-songwriting.."
"Are you're done, because I'm finished listening. And for the record, I've written many songs, but apparently the record hanchos don't see the beauty and the potential and the intrigue and the mysticism.."
I promptly cut him off because I think it was high time for him to stop talking while I still had a little bit of respect left for him.
"Okay, Brian, you're done. And for the record," I said imitating his every word, "Telling your mommy how much you love her and telling your ex-girlfriend to get to steppin'(snap snap) isn't exactly the kind of song that earns one respect.."
"You making fun of my momma??"
"No, not directly." I tried to hold back the laughter that would inevitably come and I saw the same look mirrored in his eyes.
With that and a quick glance into each others eyes, we doubled over laughing hysterically. This was our first fatal mistake. Had we not been screaming out of our minds, and had our brains and logical sides not been "out to lunch" we probably would've heard the stirring from down the hall. We most likely would've been aware of my brothers entering the common room clad in just their boxers leaning against the door frame with sleepy looks on the faces. Had our eyes not been pressed so tightly closed we most likely would have seen them laughing at us. As the laughter subsided and my brain reentered the building I unknowingly recoiled at whatever Barrett was about to say.
" So, what's this I hear about your "momma" Brian?" he said sarcastically
" Oh nothing really, your brother was being an asshole, that's all" he said
"Oh, really? Because if he can't play nicely with the other boys, we'll have to put him in a time out," Barrett added, wide-eyed and beaming at me.
I just glared back at him, and encased Brian's hand in mine.
"Come on, Scotty, you're no fun, you don't yell back," he laughed.
"Yeah well," I began, but Brian interjected.
"Wait Scott, you let him call you Scotty too?" he inquired.
"My friends call me Scotty, Bri." I returned matter of factly.
"Hey Scott!! I gave you that name, punk!" Barrett hurled at me, the humor very apparent in his statement.
" I know Rett, and I love you everyday for it, now if you don't mind, we're trying to get to know one another, " I stressed my words, Barrett isn't a dumbass, so I hoped he'd get a clue.
"Geez..way to be subtle kid, if you want to get into his pants, you could at least give him the common courtesy of letting him know before you grope him in front of your family," he squealed.
" That's real nice Barrett. Hey, Bri do you want to go into the other room. I mean, I would really like to continue our conversation... if you know what I mean.." I winked secretively, and then dragged him off the couch and into my room.
"Scotty, I'm not this easy."
" I didn't think you would be. I thought we could just talk. I really like being alone and talking to you, about things, personal things."
"O...k... What did you want to talk about."
" I don't know, I was just saying that... I really wanted to get away from that asswipe!"
"Oh, I guess that's understandable." he leaned in and gave me a kiss on the nose.
"Thought you weren't easy," I began slowly.
" Well, a quick kiss was never a giant "come fuck me" sign, was it? I don't know, just felt like doing something weird... whatever that means."
We just sat as his words reverberated into the night. He wrapped his arms around my shoulders and began to massage the tension that had built up there.
"So, what do you want to do?" I asked.
"Umm... think about it!!" he said is his husky, slighly Kentucky voice.(it rhymes :))
Soon we were sitting there, just starring at one another. He leaned in and kissed my nose, then I kissed his forehead... Our lips touched, I could feel the romance building up in the room. Suddenly his tongue opened my lips even wider and protruded into my mouth... We were "getting into it." I stopped him for a moment.
" Are you sure your ok with this Bri?" I asked curiously
"Its fine, I promise!"
He took me and held me and then started kissing again. His hand began to rub against my shoulder and eventually down my back. Our lips remained close, as the passion built and the hormones raged. His hand found its way to my crotch where it began to move back and forth in steady motions. I started to get excited and wanted to continue with this, I wanted so badly to go even further with him. I then remembered that I had brothers, some of which were down the hallway from our building X-rated behavior.
"Not too much further" I said in the middle of our kissing "I don't want to go if you know what I mean" I said
He laughed and said "Just a little bit more, please...?!"
Suddenly I heard a coughing noise, I looked up, Barrett was standing in the doorway, laughing hysterically.
"What did I say about groping in plain sight?" he asked crudely.
"Plain sight, is not behind a closed door," I retorted, frustrated at my now softening excitement. Barrett just laughed, spun around on his bare feet and left us in peace. I groaned. " I was so close," I began.
"Well," Brian started. "You said you didn't want to go, and you didn't so.."
" I was lying," I smirked.
With that he took my neck in his palm and leaned in close. Our lips touched with a fragrant spark. His tongue swished seductively around my lips and opened my mouth further. His hand leafed through my hair, it felt like strand by strand, and eased my muscles. My hand was placed on his chest and I began to move downward, with a slow, stroking motion when he pulled away and place a close-mouthed kiss on my lips.
"Scotty," kiss. " I really," kiss. "Have to," kiss. "Pee," kiss.
"Hold it," I said promptly.
"Ok," he returned.
I started to swivel my hips into his as we began to kiss more passionately. My hands moved to his pants, and I undid the button and the zipper and started pull them off. He leaned forward to help, and I slid them off and in a heap I threw them on the floor. He quickly returned the gesture and removed my t-shirt. I started to unbutton his polo shirt, and then pulled it up over his head and leaned down to run my fingers all over his hard chest. I flicked his nipples and he moaned noticeably, and fidgeted slightly in his striped boxers. There we sat, in complete anticipation. I reached down and placed my hand on the crotch of his boxers. His hard dick arched to meet my hand. I rubbed slowly, across the straining fabric, his breathing grew more rapid.
"Mmm. Don't stop," he croaked. His hands began to wander. All over my flesh, he ran his fingertips softly. His hand moved to the waistband of my boxers and began to reach inside. I quickly hurled backward, breaking our kiss.
"Not yet," I began, slightly out of breath.
"What?" he pleaded. "It's not a big deal, Scotty." He again, placed his hand on my lower stomach, and started to remove my boxers.
"Brian, please." I implored. " I don't want this to be some dumb quickie. I want to love you more than that."
"Ok, Scotty, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to push this, I just felt something so incredible so beyond me."
"It's called horny, Brian," I laughed.
"No, I've been horny, this was, something else," he stated seriously.
"I believe you, me too, but I just don't think it's time." I added.
"Ok, Scotty, but..I love you."
" I love you too, but I'm not ready."
"It's ok, sweetie. I don't think I am either. That was getting a little far, eh?"
"Yeah," I agreed sheepishly.
We sat just thinking for a few moments, as our excitement slowed, and then disappeared, but the comfort that I had felt with him that first moment, still remained.
" I still gotta take a mean piss," he laughed and pressed slightly on his crotch.
"Ok, lemme check if the coast is clear," I walked to the door and stuck my head out. Down the hall, I saw the bathroom door closed, light on, and the shower running. "Bri, someone's in there, so it's gonna be a bit."
"Well, I gotta go," he said in a baby voice.
"What are we, three?" I said and chuckled almost too loudly. (You know the code, don't laugh at your own jokes)
"Well I do," his voice had returned to normal. I laughed abnormally loud at him. There he was, clad in only boxers, hair in a rumpled mess, dried sweat covered his skin, and he was holding his crotch with a intense concentration on his face. The wheels in my head began to turn, as I came up with my...plan.
"You're such a sitting duck," I told him, trying to conceal my laughter.
"What do you mean?" he strained.
"I just mean, that you're sitting there, hands, well tied up at the moment, and half naked. It's just like your asking me to just..do this!" I sprung at him and started to tickle him all over. He tensed up real quick, his muscles in both his stomach and his hands the tighest as he began to giggle and laugh uncontrollably. He could barely speak in protest.
"Scott...come...on..I...gotta piss......this isn't..........funny!"
"Really, then why are you laughing?" I asked like a smart ass.
"No, really......you....have....to..stop....I'm gonna piss....all over...your bed!" He yelled. His one hand clenched around the base of his dick and the other pinched the head. "I can't hold...out...much...longer." With that I relented and he sat up, still grasping his crotch. "Are they out yet, I really gotta go." He pleaded.
"This much I can see," I stuck my head out the door "Nope, not yet." He groaned and removed his hands, as he had regained control. He put his palms down on the bed, and rubbed his feet over the carpet. He rose to his feet and took a few steps toward me. "You look pained," I snorted.
"Yeah well, this isn't a walk in the clouds," He said. I picked up the cup of water I always kept on my desk and started to down it. And then placed the empty cup back on the desk. I swallowed hard. He pressed his groin again and bent his knees slightly, but then quickly straightened up. "Shit man. I'm getting a little desperate here."
"Well, you could always piss in this cup," I joked as I picked back up the cup and shook it around a little bit.
"Really, ok," He interjected quickly!
"Brian, hun, I was kidding," I returned as he grabbed the cup from my hand and he walked over to the corner to the room, his back to me.
"That nice. I wasn't," With that, he started to piss in the cup. I just shook my head and laughed at him. Suddenly the door opened, and Barrett stuck his head in the door.
"Hey, Scotty, if you want the shower...what the hell is he doing?" His eyes almost bugged out of his head as he caught a glimpse of Brian pissing in the corner.
"Long story," I really didn't have the desire to explain to him. Brian finished up and left with his cup into the bathroom, and Barrett returned to his room.
I started to shake a little bit and went over to my closet and pulled on a T-shirt and some flannel pants. My muscles ached a little bit, and I just felt a little off. It had been like that for days, but I'm sure it was just some dumb bug and I'd be fine after a good night's sleep. I crawled into bed and waited on my back for Brian's return. Once he came back, he stood in the doorway and just looked at me. His eyes spoke sincerity and love. He had me at hello. Man. I loved him so much it hurt. Only, I couldn't decide if that was a good thing. I couldn't ever hurt him. I became suddenly afraid to let him get too close, and that I might hurt him one day. One day I just might not be here. I couldn't really worry about that now though.
The lights flipped off. He eased toward me, and it seemed the room suddenly doubled in length. I longed to reach out and touch his flesh, and draw him closer to me, but my arms seemed weak, almost limp. He just stepped closer and pulled back the covers, crawling in towards me. He put his arm around me and softly kissed my forehead. My eyes began to close and sleep started to envelop my tired soul.
"Night, Brian," I muttered.
"Sleep my angel," he whispered. He began humming softly, and while he provided his angelic music, my mind started feeding my sluggish body the words.
...if you could step into my head, tell me would you still know me, if you woke up in my bed, tell me then would you hold me? Or would you simply let it lie, leaving me to wonder why, I can't get you out of this head I call mine and I will say, oh no I can't let you go, my little thrill, because you're holding up my world, so I need you Your imitation of m walk and the perfect way you talk It's just a couple of a million things that I love about you So I need you And if I jumped off the Brooklyn bridge tell me would you still follow me? And if I made you mad today, tell me would you love me tomorrow? Please Or would you say that you don't care, and then leave me standing here Like the foot who is drowning in despair and screaming? So I need you...
Sleep overtook me, but I felt a smile curl upon my lips. I felt home.
The sun broke through the window shades and rested happily upon my eyelids. I saw the reddish glow and meekly opened my eyes to the new day. My breaths were deep, and calm as they hadn't been in many nights. Brian's still rested over me, and I could feel his rising and falling chest on my back. I rested my head on my pillow and just listened to him breathing.
He suddenly fluttered open to the new day and sat up, taking in the sights, the smells of our environment.
"Well, I'm hungry, let's eat!" He smirked.
We got up and headed into the kitchen, where both of my brothers, Ross and Barrett, were seemingly awaiting our arrival.
"Well if it isn't the lovebirds," Ross said, not looking up from his plate.
"No, these aren't lovebirds, it's just Brian and Scott," Barrett added. He had a way about him, something "Mel Brooksesque", always one-upping everyone.
The phone came ringing into the morning, as Brian and I fixed some cereal, clanking dishes and drawers. I sauntered sleepily over to the phone and lifted it from its receiver.
"Hello," I silently wished it wasn't my boss calling me to come into work.
"Hi, Scott Marshall please," I guess I got my wish.
"Speaking," I returned, unsure of who was at the other end of the phone.
"Hi, Scott, this is Dr. Burns, I need you to come into the office this afternoon, to go over your test results," he stated flatly.
"Can you just tell me now?" I wanted it to be over, just tell me, I don't think I can handle marinading in these "what if" thoughts all day.
"Um, actually, I think we should do this in person,".
"Ok, I will, thank you." I placed the phone deliberately back in its cradle and moved back into the kitchen to my cereal.
"Who was it, Scott?" Barrett asked.
"Doctor," I said without showing interest.
"So..is it good?" Rett prodded.
"I don't know."
"Scotty?" Brian interjected.
"What?" I snapped.
He recoiled at my harshness, but continued.
"You don't look so great, you ok?" He seemed worried.
"I don't know." I answered.
TBC........Hoped you like this chapter, again I'm really sorry that I didn't get this out sooner, but life's an interesting development I suppose. As always I REALLY LOVE FEEDBACK!! Blue4Clue4@aol.com...HOOK ME UP!! Ok, I used the lyrics to So I Need You by the band 3 Doors Down, so give them credit where credit is due. Thanks for reading, and see you next time, if there is one! Scotty