************************ WARNING *************************** Please Note this is a true story and it happened to me and though it has its humour in retrospect at the time it was to say the least in all honesty the worst moment of my life my main dread was how am I going to tell my BF and his folks Please Note: Not recomended reading you have been Warned *********************** THANK YOU **************************
************************ WARNING *************************** *********** Please Remember To Always Practice ************* ************************ SAFE SEX ************************** *************** Your Life May Depend On It ***************** ************************************************************
********************** My AIDS Test ************************ ************************* by ***************************** ************************* Me *****************************
Hey, I am a pretty active very athletic type the real jock in school and very popular with just about everyone and I suppo- se because I did an awful lot of Bodybuilding got no shit off anyone. Anyway, I was into powered flying, and S.C.U.B.A. and all sorts of physical type sports. Well I was sent for a full medical and answered quite matter of factly and in all hones- ty in the questionnair I was presented that I was gay. Flamin heck, the doctor couldn't believe his eyes and he said "this is the first time anyone ever wrote that down on the form." - Great Now he tells me. Anyway, he did all the usual stuff and prodded and poked about my anatomy sent me for a chest X-Ray an all that stuff. Yes, I had to jump up on his couch and he fiddled with my dick and squeezed my balls, then shoved his rubber gloved finger up my butt and poked around my prostate. When all this was complete he said take this up to the path lab, and he handed me a scribbled note, "what's this" I asked and he said "the law requires that you have an HIV blood test" I sort of grumbled and muttered, but accepted the inevitabil- ity of it all and asked him what would happen, "Well, if its negative, nothing, but if it is positive then we will inform your family doctor." Shit I did not like this at all, but he said that was that and there was nothing he could do to alter it. So I asked him how long before the result come out and in response he had said "Two weeks" Now here's the rub, I am in teaching hospital and a student in anaesthesia, and it is so near the end of the semester that I will be at home when the results of that HIV test come out. But I am not worried after all I have been careful, so I trot up to the haemotology labs and this nurse reads the paper, she is taking no risks and I am handled through rubber gloves. I jump up on the trolley an she ties on the ligature and that damned syringe looks to me to be mighty massive. Bloody hell, does she need a sample or is this a damned donation. Anyway she sticks the needle in my arm and this dark red blood is filling that huge syringe. and I am thinking great bedside manner, becase she does not say a single word. Then she takes out the needle and that was that and I was pretty pissed, because she did not even have the decency to stick on a patch to stop the bruising. Sure enough an hour later, still waiting to process the papers, my arm is purple black and red with a huge brusie and bloody painful. I am angry because I always have the dcency to make sure I stick a wad on my patients arm's when I give an IV and I am thinking I detest her unprofessionalism. More than that I am pissed as she never even had to courtsey to talk to me, and she made me feel much less than human just by those gloves and the way in which she had handled me. I am standing there in this queue & my head is buzzing, everything is getting further and further away, there are fans in front of my eyes. I opened my eyes in an instant and there is this beautiful blond haired girl with gorgeous blue eyes staring into my eyes. She is a nurse and on her right is a doctor, her voice filters down to me "Are you alright ?" I try to rise, "No, just lie down for a moment" she smiles reassuringly, her hand is restraining me and I am confused for a few seconds. "You had a mild syncopy" said the doctor ... OHHhhhh! God, I fainted. He was using the medical term out of courtsey, or testing my comprehension. I got the message and they allowed me up. "Are you OK ?" "Errr .... Yes I am sorry, but when folks make a hole in me I usually faint, I am sorry ..." They both laugh, understandingly, doctors are the worst patients.
The next couple of days in school went quick enough and need I say that everyone wanted to know what this massive bruise on my arm is all about. "Blood test" is my response and thats that, no one asks anything else. After all we have all had an arm punctured at some time or other to keep the vampires in clover. Yup, I get home and the moment my jacket comes off it is pretty evident my parents are staring at the big bloody ol mark and pumping me for information in the Spanish inqquisit- ion. "Its a blood test" But they are parents and its "What is it for ?" "Errrr ... sports" well, they did not push it any further, but they did not seem too happy either. Well, when the next day dawned, I was up bright and early and off out of the door before I got landed with a ton of chores, and strai- ght round to my Boy friends house. He has just got back from another school and there was the usual questioning, but I did not tell him that it was an HIV test. Hey why worry him .....
The next two weeks passed and every now and again I would run through all these scenarios in my head, but whichever way it ran that test had to be negative. There was just no way this boy could have HIV. Yet the niggling voice was always there the second week came and on the day, I had been out alone all day, got back to my friends house and he said "OH! Your Dr. has phoned me here from the surgery twice today, he said can you go round immediately it is Urgent." My blood turned into icewater, I mean if that test was negative then no one would know, this meant and all my worst nightmare scenarios were in that moment all crowding in on me and coming very true. OH my God, what ... how am I gonna tell my parents and worse how am I going to tell my BF and his parents. This was just unreal I mean, I broke into this cold sweat and my heart was thundering in my chest, I turned ashen grey and my friend thought I was on the way out. I wlaked out his door with leaden feet, every step took another twenty years off my life. My brain was in a real frenzy of overdrive and that was the lonliest longest of all the walks ever in my entire life. It felt like my shoes weighed a ton each, and what was a ten minute amble took me twenty minutes odd. I got to the surgery and there was a huge queue as I had no appointment, I was waiting, sweating and in each second that passed I died another thousand times My mind ran and re-ran the same scenario a thousand times, "How am I going to tell my Boy Friend and his parents ?" I knew that my folks would react badly, but they would cope, but how do you say that to your other half and his folks ? My blood pressure was surely through the roof as my body chemistry was clearly all the way out driven by my mind which was simply trying to come to terms with this simple reality.
Finally that red light winked and I was alone in the doctors reception office, I truged to his door and it swung open, and there he stood, smiling his hand extended. I thought my God, here I am in seriously deep shit trying to find a way to tell my BF, his folks and my folks this news and this asshole is smiling as though nothing is wrong. Cheerily he said, "Come on in please sit down ..." he went to the far end of the desk and took his seat and then proceeded to ask me about school & all that stuff. I was determined to get to the point and then blurted out "What do you want to tell me ?" he smiled on and sort of said, "Hey, what's your hurry, heck I have not seen you since you left for school ..." While my mind raced on in its tracks a mile a minute. I was desperate for him to get it over with so I asked again and his answer stunned me into ... total silence he said "Well, your S.C.U.B.A. certificate has come due to expire and you need a physical before I can once again validate it. You will need a Chest X-Ray of course."
I couldn't move, I was glued to my seat as my mind began to - slowly assimilate the data given. My head was reeling and my eyes burning from the sweat that was trickling down my face & that is when it happened. I exploded ... I shouted and yelled at him, "You mean you called me twice on the phone for this - this urgent business, my God I have been your patient here .. I mean since as long as I can remember, and you never ever .. ever called not just my home .... but chased up my friends .. to tell me this ?" .... my language degenerated into language that would make a sailor blush, the expletives flowed in a torrent with a fluidity and with such retuperative venom that he sat staring in incomprehending disbelief, after all he had known me since I was knee high to a grasshopper and it was at this moment his time to be stunned into total silence as he sat and stared immobile, I rose and turning stridently strode out of his office, still ranting and raving in a rage.
My mind was really racing in a headlong rush to destruction I had been anticipating the worst for two whole weeks and was all that time preparing for this fateful moment and it had at that time still not sunk in fully ...... "Urgent & Emergency" racing in my fevered brain. Diving certification ? Confusion and fear turned to unreasoning rage. Instead of being glad in that moment or relieved, I could have killed ! What a farce !
I must confess that the next day, I went back to his office & he initially seemed very nervous when I walke in and then in all honesty I told him the entire saga from begining to end & he was truly very gentle and understanding. I was humbled and very grateful for one other thing, I had for some time faced the very real dread of what it must be like to tell those you love that you have the dreaded HIV + virus. I learned a very great deal from that trick of fate, and I must confess that I really do Not know how I would have coped if I had to go to all those I loved, especially that boy who had loved me and had to tell him to get tested for HIV. To those whom have had to utter those words to their partners and the ones they love They have one hell of a lot more courage than I ever shall at least I learned I hope to understand. Thank you.
I suppose this story should have a moral in it somewhere, but I am not so clever to see what it is. Personally I learned an awful lot in a very short time, I confronted my own mortality and that I found quite easy, but I do Not think I ever had in any moment of my life ever considered just how hard it would be to have to tell the one you loved most and shared with each other this particular news. Please go in peace and prosper. I who have often watched the saga of life and death played out in all it many factes had never quite had to face this & I shall make sure that I never shall. So people consider. Cause, I have been there bought the T-Shirt an seen the movie *************************** WARNING ************************* ******* Please Do Remember That This Is Just A Story ******** ************************** SAFE SEX ************************* *** However Is A Necessity, So Do Not Emulate This Story *** ********* Please Remember To Have SAFE SEX Always *********** ******** Don't play Russian Roulette With Your Life ********* ******* Because You Are A Valuable Asset To Society ********* *********** With Love To Give And A Life To Live ************ ************ So Take Your Time And Live It Fully ************ ************* See You Around When You Reach 130 ************* ************************** Yours Truly ********************** Byeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee! --
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