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I must have dozed off on Marcus' chest. I was awakened feeling his hand sliding over my ass and his middle finger lazily rubbing in my crack outside of my hole. I looked up to see him staring down at me with a contemplative look.
"What's wrong?" I asked.
"Nothing," he replied. "I'm just thinking about how you're my best friend, my roommate, and my coworker, but I've never felt this close to you."
I smiled as I thought about that statement. The doubts and fears that I might have about my own sexuality were replaced by a warmth as I considered the bond of our friendship that was now heightened by our sexual connection.
Marcus put his other hand behind my head and maneuvered my face up to his, where he gently kissed me. He then slapped my ass with his other hand and said, "As nice as this is, I have to piss!" I rolled over on my side and watched as he got up from the bed and walked out of the room, down the hall to his bathroom.
We each showered, and then spent the rest of the day like we had originally planned, hanging out, watching movies, drinking more beer, and just being good friends who are comfortable with each other. Any time that I started to panic about what had transpired over the past 24 hours, I would look over at Marcus and a calm came over me. I felt safe with him. I trusted him, and whatever was happening, I knew that he was my friend first. We didn't talk about having sex. We just hung out together. Until bedtime.
When we were both tired and getting sleepy, Marcus looked over at me as he clicked the power button on the remote. You bout ready to call it a night?" he asked. I answered that I was. We got up and headed toward our bedrooms. I removed my clothes, tossed them in the laundry, and then put on a thin pair of sleeping shorts. I went into my bathroom to take out my contacts and brush my teeth. After brushing my teeth, I leaned over to rinse and heard Marcus say, "Damn baby, look at that ass!" as I simultaneously felt his hand rub my ass before sliding around my waist and pulling me back. I felt him hug me to him as I looked up in the mirror. The sight before me was striking.
I saw my smaller white body contrasted with the black of his skin, as his bigger and more muscular body dwarfed mine from behind. He smiled at me in the mirror, his face beside mine, then I watched as he turned his face and kissed my neck. My body broke out in shivers as his mouth moved over my neck. I laid my head back on his shoulder has he wrapped both arms around me. He slid his hands down my sides, grabbed my shorts, and pushed them down until they fell to my ankles. As he moved back against me, I felt his naked cock press into the crack of my ass and I knew he was naked too.
Marcus' hands were everywhere, and he was getting me so turned on. I realized that my cock was already hard again. He reached his hand up to my face and turned my head to the side so that he could kiss me. I remembered the thought I had out in the living room: I felt safe.
Marcus broke off our kiss and pushed down on my lower back, so that I bent over the sink. He spit on his cock and pressed against my ass, but the soreness from earlier was too much and I cried out as he tried to enter me. I felt him move back and he kept uttering soothing words to me, keeping his hand on my back as I felt him looking for something in the bathroom. I looked in the mirror to see him with the Vaseline tub in his hands. He smiled at me as he opened it, got a glob on his finger, and reached down and pressed into my hole. I opened for him and it didn't hurt. He quickly pressed a second, then third finger in, massaging the gel into my hole and stretching me open. He then greased up his shaft and pressed forward again. This time I opened up and he slid all the way in one push.
I arched my back and started sweating and panting. His penetration hurt, but I also just felt full and safe, and incredibly turned on. I looked back up in the mirror and saw the lust on his face as he began slowly fucking in and out of my ass. I had never seen myself in the receiving position in sex. I had seen myself in the mirror fucking my girlfriends before. But what I saw before me, as I was bent over, was a submissive partner receiving Marcus' cock. He reached his hand up to my shoulder to gain leverage, and began fucking harder. I had lost a little of my erection when he first fucked into my sore ass, but seeing myself get fucked got me hard again quickly.
Marcus fucked me in that position for a couple of minutes, then he pushed all the way into me, and then reached around my chest and pulled me up and back against him. I was standing in front of my best friend, impaled on his dick, watching him manhandle me in the mirror of my bathroom. He turned my head again, and kissed me, then pulled out. "Turn around," he commanded.
I turned, and he grabbed under my arms and sat me up on the counter. He lifted my legs around his waist and moved his cock back to my hole, then pressed in. He didn't immediately begin fucking me again, though. Instead, he pushed all he way in and wrapped his arms around my back, then stood up fully. The result is that I was lifted off the counter and found myself held by Marcus while perched on his cock. I was again taken by his strength as I was held up by him. I wrapped my arms around his neck and he leaned in and kissed me, then hugged to himself as he began walking out of the bathroom and into my bedroom. He carried me to the bed, bouncing me on his cock as he walked. He climbed onto the bed on his knee, still carrying me, before laying me down on my back, never removing his cock from my hole.
He began gently fucking me again as he looked into my eyes. While this morning had been animalistic, tonight he was making love to me. I again felt so safe, so protected. His cock kept sliding across my prostate, sending chills all over me and pleasure was radiating throughout my body. He would occasionally lean down to kiss me, but he primarily stayed above me to maintain eye contact. I had never felt so vulnerable to someone, nor so safe. The emotions and the stimulation overcame me, and suddenly I felt my orgasm wash over me as I came while he stared into my eyes. He kept slowing fucking me throughout the orgasm, smiling as he brought me pleasure with his cock.
The endorphins from my orgasm made his fucking feel even better. He kept going at a lazy pace, just enjoying the connection. But after about 10 minutes, he was speeding up and I could tell he was close. He shuddered as he came, and locked my mouth in a passionate kiss as his orgasm washed over him. I felt him shoot deep in me. He remained in my ass as he kept kissing me, coming down from his orgasmic high. Finally he slipped out, and rolled over on his side. He rolled me onto my side, and pulled me back against him. He was the big spoon, I was his little spoon.
"I'm going to sleep in here with my white boy," he whispered in my ear as we both drifted off to sleep.
I awoke early the next morning in the same position, held possessively by Marcus. Based on his normal habits, I knew he could sleep for several more hours. I also knew that I wouldn't go back to sleep. I slipped out of his arms, got up and went to use the bathroom and shower. I decided to go for a walk in the park that was across the street from our apartment complex, just to allow myself time alone to think and consider how my life had changed this weekend.
As I walked, the nagging question in my mind was: am I less of a man because of what I let him do to me? Sexual release is one thing. Letting a guy suck you off is one thing. Even helping a friend by jacking off together, or even sucking each other, can be explained as just horny guys helping each other. But opening my legs to let him breed me felt different. I wondered if I had become inferior because I had taken a more submissive role in our sexual relationship. I wondered if he thought less of me as a man because he had fucked me. We had always been on equal footing in our friendship, but now there was an aspect of our relationship where he was the man, and I was not his equal. He had sexual power over me, he had dominated me, I had surrendered to him.
These thoughts may seem strange to guys who have fully accepted sexual roles in their couplings with other men, but this was my first foray into sexual power dynamics, and I was confused. I also knew that I still found women very attractive, and very much felt like a man when I pictured myself seducing a woman.
I didn't come to any conclusions as I walked, but it was good to have the fresh air and the trees and paths, and to have time to consider the worries, doubts, fears, and concerns that had been introduced in my mind over the weekend. After about an hour of strolling, I walked back over to the complex and entered our apartment. The smell of fresh coffee hit me as I walked in, and I looked up to see Marcus, naked and drinking coffee in the kitchen. He smiled and said, "Where have you been?"
I smiled back and told him about my walk. I told him I just needed a stroll and some alone time to think through what had happened. His face turned serious as he asked, "What do you need to think about?"
I told him about my concerns about feeling like less of a man, and how I felt the dynamic of our relationship had changed because I had submitted to him and he had dominated me. I told him that I didn't regret the sex, and because he was bigger than me, it made sense that he would be the top and I would be his bottom. I even admitted how pleasurable it had been to take his cock. But I also admitted that I wondered if it made him feel that I was less of a man.
Marcus set his coffee down and walked over to me. He moved in front of me, took both of my hands into his, and looking into my eyes, said, "I would never think less of you. You are my best friend, and there is nothing that could make me think less of you." He then pulled me into him and hugged me tight. I wouldn't say that I was in love with Marcus, but I knew that I loved this man. And my love for him was a friendship love, a brotherly love, but I also loved being sexually intimate with him.
He pulled back after a minute, walked back over to his coffee, and said: "I hadn't really thought about how you might be feeling about all of this. For me, I've just been enjoying the best sex of my life with you. I hadn't really thought about the fact that for you, our having sex meant a fundamental change in how you view sex. Rather than being the one fucking, you were now receiving my cock, and I was fucking you. I can see why it would make you wonder about how I view you."
He grabbed his coffee cup and walked over to the living room. I followed him over. I was struck by how powerful he looked, walking casually naked through our apartment. He walked over to the balcony door, looking out, clearly running something over in his mind, processing what I had just shared. He turned back to look at me and suddenly asked, "What does it feel like?"
"What?" I asked, confused by his question.
"What does it feel like when I fuck you?" he asked, clarifying his question.
I was surprised by his question, but then realized it wasn't that surprising. Marcus was a great friend, and he was realizing that while we had both experienced our sexual trysts, our viewpoints were vastly different. His friend had felt something different, and he wanted to try to understand.
"It hurt," I started. "But it also made me feel more sexually alive than ever. I felt connected to you both physically and emotionally. As it continued, there was far more pleasure than I could have imagined from my ass, and I was completely shocked that I came without touching my dick. I don't know how to explain how it feels. I feel full when you are in me, and then empty when you take it out." I didn't know if my thoughts helped answer his question, but I was warmed that he cared enough to ask. He studied my face for a minute after I finished talking, and then nodded and said matter-of-factly, "I guess the only way for me to know how it feels is to feel it myself. I need you to fuck me."
Startled, I stepped back and asked, "Are you serious?"
"Absolutely," he stated. "We're going back to my room, and you're going to fuck me. Then we'll both know what it's like, and we'll be on equal footing again."
Once he had decided to do it, he was set on doing it. He began walking naked back to his room, and looking over his shoulder back at me, said: "Come on. Let's get this done."
As I followed him, I had two thoughts. First, this lacked the passion of Friday night. We weren't doing this because we couldn't stop, we were doing this so he could know what it was like. Second, it dawned on me that even though I was headed to put my dick in him, he was still in charge. He was controlling this situation, and I was submitting to his wishes. And I realized I liked feeling that way.
To be continued...
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