Hello Loved Ones,
This is a story about real people, but missed opportunities, and the hot one who got away.
Sorry it's taken so long to write...
xxoo ~hessa hessa_meena@hotmail.com
My Birthday Wish Lesbian/ College
I was sitting on our dorm porch one day, pretending to read, but really watching her play football.
Kristin was a sophomore when I was a freshman, and often played catch with Mark, our R.A., on warm afternoons.
Whenever I saw Mark tying up his shoes or leaving the hall with his football I'd get whatever book I was supposed to be reading and sit on our porch. Thinking, of course, I was being slick, but one day Victoria, a girl on another hall, who had a thing going with Andy, a guy on our hall, saw me watching them and sneered at my naiveté.
"You know he's gay, right?"
"And?" I asked? Not really knowing what she was getting at.
"From what I hear, you'd have better luck with her." Victoria smirked, and I looked back at her, annoyed, but then back at my book hoping she didn't see me blushing. We ignored each other until Andy got to the porch and I snuck another peek at Kristin, in faded cut offs and a jog bra hurling a perfect spiral into Mark's arms.
Apparently, I wasn't alone, Kristin had a phenomenal body: As she leapt to get the ball, and I pretended not to watch Andy's eyebrow creep up as Kristin's stomach muscles rippled with the effort. I watched her jump up and down triumphantly, and almost didn't catch the look on her face when she saw me watching her. I quickly tuned into the conversation Victoria and Andy were having.
"You're barking up the wrong tree, boy," Victoria rolled her eyes, but smiled.
"Oh man, but whoever that lucky girl is, whoa..." He pulled on his jacket and shook his head. I agreed, the image of Kristin's torso and the look on her face when she saw me staring at her flashed too loud and hot in my mind, and I was almost relieved to look up and see that they were no longer in the quad. Maybe, just maybe I could get some reading done.
It was only October, but the work and papers were mounting and I was trying to put together an argument on an essay I was reading. I was lost, and frustrated that one of my first real papers in college already had me this overwhelmed.
But what really had me thrown was Kristin. My brain kept replaying the image of her body leaping and straining like that, it was embarrassing, like some jock porn film. I needed to clear my head, but the look she gave me when she caught me watching her was enough to distract me for days.
At seventeen I was still a virgin, and had yet to even kiss a girl, but the newfound freedom of my permissive campus and the surrounding towns, prompted my body and emotions to react in ways I had no previous knowledge of, and I was intrigued.
Intrigued, but wary, and I walked back through the hall to my room. I was too distracted to read outside, and wanted to write some things down before I forgot. I sat on my bed with the door closed, listening to music and organizing print outs and readings on my bed when there was a knock on the door. Mark stood there with Kristin behind him, they were both sweating and I saw Kristin's hair was out of its ponytail and spilling, in waves down past her ears.
"You want anything from the snack bar? We're going to get something to drink." I knew he was just being friendly, Mark was like that, but I grabbed my keys and library card.
"No, but I'll walk with you if you don't mind. I need to get some more research." Kristin introduced herself while Mark saw if anyone else on the hall wanted anything, and I hoped to think of something to say that didn't involve looking in her eyes too long or at her body. I was dangerously close to making a fool of myself, and stood there silently.
"What are you researching?" She asked, her voice was sweet and smooth, like honey. I dared a look into her eyes and told her, a dreaded paper for one of the few freshman requirements and watched as her smile grew wide. "I can help you with that, I got so annoyed with it, I did an extra paper on the origin of the requirement." I grinned at her description of her freshman determination, and found her friendlier than I thought she would be.
"Well look," she smiled when we reached the library and they continued on to the snack bar. " Call me if you have any problems," she drawled out problems, and winked. "Mark knows where I live." I smiled, bashfully at Mark, but he was looking at me like something had just dawned on him.
"Shit, she's cute." I muttered to myself, thankful that they were gone so I could concentrate on the articles I had to locate. I didn't want to take her up on her offer, just yet.
...
The days passed and I managed to get through my first big paper, and not freak out when I talked to Kristin, which seemed to be daily, she hung around Mark like a big brother, which, for so many of us, he was. They played football almost everyday, and it was always a nice excuse to "read" on the porch and watch the most gorgeous girl I'd ever seen wear almost nothing and sweat with excursion. She was hot, and I was lost.
One afternoon I took a nap, missing Mark and Kristin's football excursion all together. I'd been up late with my hall mates going through something they call the frog book, letting each other in on which people from our class we thought was cute, freaky and just annoying. My hall mate Stacey had the hots for a few guys, our hippie friend Dave bashfully admitted to having a crush on a few different girls, and then sighed and commented on Kristin's football games.
"Right?" I asked, before realizing how much the alcohol was ruining my usual ability for self-censorship. I leaned back drunkenly. "Man, that's what I need for my birthday." I smiled at their hooting, "a study group with Kristin." I smiled as Stacey and Dave both giggled and waved me off to bed, it was my birthday in a week and a half, and they were already pestering me about it.
So the next afternoon when I woke from a long nap, groggy and slow. I stumbled into the hall to brush my teeth and pulled my robe around me. It was a thin, warn security thing, but I wore it a lot around the hall, and according to my hall mates it was my fifties housewife sex coat. It covered me, but definitely showed more shape than my clothes did.
When I walked into the lounge later, I was only a little more awake, but still in my robe. I jumped a bit to see Kristin with the remote control watching gay porn with Mark and laughing hysterically. They put the mute on and Mark explained that part of his thesis was about sexual desire and how different people reacted to presentations of sexuality.
Kristin rolled her eyes while Mark babbled on about pornography, aesthetics and fluid sexuality, but I caught Kristin taking an extra look at me while I leaned into the fridge for some of the juice we had last night. There was only a mouth full, and I swished the carton around while looking in Kristin's eyes. I yawned, stretched, watched Kristin's face as my robe shifted a moment, a moment before I realized she was staring at my body, and pulled it around me tighter and smiled bashfully, at her obvious interest.
I mumbled my goodbyes and shuffled back into my room to change into jeans and a t-shirt, and was more awake and left the door half-open as I pushed note cards around on my bed. I had my research done for this paper, and was almost ready to write the first draft.
I almost jumped when Kristin knocked at my door and asked if she could come in. She was more shy and bashful than I would have thought, and it was completely different to be in my own room with her. I wondered if she went in to anyone else's rooms, but ignored it, the door was open, and I tried to convince myself that this was just a random thing.
"Wow," Kristin walked over to touch the patch pinned on the wall. "You like them?" I had an old NEED patch from a fanzine I used to read last year next to a picture of my older brother's band.
"Yeah, totally." I paused, realizing she must know I liked girls if I was into a band like that, so took a chance. "Yeah, the sound is just..." I couldn't find the words, I was lost in her eyes and blushing madly. "...Just ... I mean I wanna crawl into her guitar, ya know?" I was still retarded from my nap, and paused for a moment of slow eye contact with Kristin who was returning my wary gaze.
"Totally." She smiled, looking more comfortable, and looked at the cards on my bed. I realized I had been holding my breathe, and tried not to be too obvious letting it out. "You still working on this?" She gestured towards my bed and the note cards. I nodded and told her to sit down. Then we were sitting on my bed, inches from each other.
"Yeah," I whispered, not knowing why, "I need help."
We were staring at each other, and the silence was deafening. I felt my pupils dilating, like I was tripping, and wondered if she could sense my nervous desire. I watched her bite her lower lip, and shrug.
"Well, I have a paper I have to write." She said, backing off the bed, and my face must've fallen like a broken elevator, because she smiled and touched my knee.
"But my friend's band is playing a house party this weekend, you should come." I grinned and nodded as she walked out of my room, after one last moment of eye contact.
"Holy shit, I must've totally freaked her out." I scolded myself and decided to work on the paper. I had to put Kristin out of my head, and focus on theory, history and politics in three to five pages.
Later that week, I finally had a draft ready for that freshman requirement, and I wondered what Kristin would think, yeah right, I wanted any excuse to talk to her. She hadn't been on the hall since I had made a fool of myself, and I walked down the hall hoping to find her in Mark's room. I padded to his room in blue jeans and a t-shirt, but then stood outside his door.
Yeah right, I'd talk to her. She had half the freshman class sighing at the mention of her name, and I'd wrecked any opportunity by acting like such a dork. I debated for a while, but finally knocked on Mark's door, and was impressed to see him all dolled up, shaved and smelling good. But sadly, alone.
"Hey kiddo," He was only four years older than me, but old enough to buy alcohol in College Town, USA and be working on your senior concentration seemed ancient. I sat at his desk chair and watched him fuss over his wardrobe.
"You got a date?"
"Yup, with your girlfriend Kristin." My eyes flew open and I started stammering.
"Wha--What do you mean?" He chuckled through a smirk and gave me a gotcha sort of smile.
"Girl, I knew it." He checked his hair one last time then looked at me as if realizing I was actually in his room for the first time. "She thinks you're soo-ooo cute, and that band is playing tonight. You, little freshman virrrrrr-gin flower should go." He was obviously amused with himself and lightly tapped me on the nose with a smile.
"But it's only six..." I had barely digested the fluorescents and carbs from the dining commons.
"Yes little flower, I must go set it up." I sat back on his bed. He sighed like an older brother. "Come on, I gotta go, I'll give you directions, be there at like 9...she'll be there, and man would it rock her like a hurricane off if you show up." We walked in silence until we got to my door about half way down the hall. "And little flower," I looked at him like this was some weird Kung Fu movie, but I had to play along. "Make sure at least to kiss her, it's gonna be lesbo central there tonight."
I nodded, speechless, like it was so easy.
I knocked on Stacey's door, she was always good for sympathy and some feminine support when I felt completely out of sorts. She was the one who dressed me and helped me figure out what to wear in situations like this.
Stacey called for me to open the door when I knocked and looked up from her computer. She too was in paper hell, and smiled at me.
"Let's go to that show tonight." I begged, I bit my lip and sat down on Stacey's bed. "She's going to be there, Mark told me that Kristin thinks I'm cute."
Stacey looked at me impressed, I could tell the paper no longer held her interest, and within an hour we had an older student delivering alcohol to us, me half-dressed, and a joint going around the room.
I stood in my bra and the black jeans and boots I wore my favorite worn out t-shirt that showed off my arms and stomach and laughed while Andy wolf-whistled at me. My hair was pulled back into braided pigtails, and I had to admit that for a goofy seventeen year old, I looked pretty hot. I was kind of drunk, too so that made everything seem a little more bold and fantastic than it was, but...
We got to the house and Stacey immediately fell in with her pack of other friends, shooing me off.
"Will you at least talk to her? It's almost your birthday." I giggled, I was so nervous, but at least I knew I looked cute. I mingled around, listening to the music, watching everyone move amplifiers and tune their instruments when I saw her. She was standing with another guy I recognized from Mark's entourage and I had to stop myself from turning around and leaving. She looked too amazing in a black negligee, combat boots and tights.
I must have been staring, because I looked up and saw Mark rolling his eyes at me and taking me by the arm over to the group.
"Are you fucked up?" I stammered no, but managed.
"I've never seen her look like tha-at." He laughed.
"She calls it her combat slut look, we came up with it last year when she realized she hadn't worn anything but pants in years." I nodded, lost. Lost in the look of her powerful thighs barely covered in the black satin and her strong shoulders under the straps of the negligee.
She smiled when she saw Mark, but I saw her eyes widen when she saw me. I blushed, glad that it was dark and smiled again as they introduced me to their other friends and I stood there with Kristin.
"Wow, you look pretty hot tonight." Kristin smiled at me, putting her hand on my hip. I must have looked as nervous, as I felt so she removed her hand and said more softly. "I'm sorry, I don't mean to embarrass you."
"No it's ok." I smiled. "You look," I was still amazed by her figure. "fucking amazing, Kristin." She smiled, and I put my hand on the belt she had tight around her waste and grinned, "no really." I gushed. I'd said too much. I went to go take off my blazer and put it on a chair by the drinks and watched as her eyes followed me. I wasn't used to showing my body off like this, but liked the idea of keeping Kristin's attention.
Harder said than done, a group of my friends came up to me with a flask and gave me a drink, then left me standing there laughing at their giddiness. Kristin walked over when they were gone and cocked her head.
"What was that about?" I held the flask out to her.
"Birthday shot?" My birthday was in three days, and I was very much enjoying the celebration so far.
"Your birthday? How old?"
"Eighteen," I smiled. "In three days." The music was getting louder, and we were standing against a wall. Kristin had her hand back on my hip, her fingers grazing my ass, and I could tell that she'd been drinking. I took the opportunity to pull her closer by her belt buckle and smell her hair. Even in the dark I kept getting butterflies when we'd make eye contact.
The band hit the stage, and the crowd rushed forward, knocking us off balance. I was standing behind her, and when the crowd pushed us forward, I protectively, and daringly wrapped my arms around her. When the set started and the crowd had eased off, she still held my arms around her hips, occasionally wrapping my arms around her.
I was flushed and too caught off guard to think of what to say. Every time I wanted to let go of her, thinking that me tracing her rib cage line, or hooking my thumb into her belt was too much, she'd lean back or turn around with a slow smile, kiss me on the cheek, then turn back to face the band.
"I am in trouble," I thought. I wanted her, and bad. My cunt throbbed at the idea, and I tried to compose myself. This time when she leaned back with that smile, I almost kissed her, staring at her lips, like a child staring at an ice cream cone.
"And what do you want for your birthday?" Somehow we were hugging, my arms around her waste, her hands traveling up to my breasts, I realized what we were doing and moved away, but kept looking in her eyes. I got the courage up and kissed her on the lips. She lifted her head, a bit shocked, maybe. "Yeah?" She looked concerned. I backed off, worried that I'd done something wrong.
"You ever slept with a girl?" I nodded no, biting my lip at the feeling of her hand still on my hip. "Kissed one for real?" I kept shaking my head.
"No," I said, a little desperate, quietly, I whispered in her ear, "Please?" I faltered, shocked that I kissed her, that I `d let it go so far, but still with my fingers on her belt. "I'm sorry, I just..." I could feel my voice cracking, "Mark said you thought I was cute, and I uh..." I didn't finish and walked over to get my blazer, I had to get out of here before I made it worse, how would I face her on the hall? How would I face Mark?
"Stop, shhhh." Kristin had me by the arm, and I could feel her wrap her arms around my hips and pull me close to her body. The feeling of those strong arms and her warm breathe on my neck made me swoon. "Shhh little girl, that's just..." She leaned in close and whispered all low and sweet in my ear. "That's just intense, no one's ever asked me for that before, and I just ... I didn't know what to say."
I must have been shaking, because she just held me there, slowly swaying to the music, and I relaxed into her breathing. She started kissing the back of my neck and I felt my whole body react: a tightening in and warmth in my chest and a slight lifting of my hips. I turned around to face her and kiss those lips. She nodded no, but took me by the hand.
"Let's go."
We walked up her stairs and there was a guy taking off an apron and eating an apple.
"Well hello girls," he smiled at Kristin and pointed to the cookies on the table. "I got bored, now they're done and I'm going to the show." He grabbed his coat, then looked at Kristin. "See you," then at me, "in the morning?"
I blushed, and looked at Kristin.
"Sorry," she mumbled. I looked at her once we were in her room, shocked I'd actually had the courage to admit to her what I wanted for my birthday. I was so nervous I didn't know what to say.
"I'm sorry, I'm just..." I mumbled. She smiled and took my hand, and we sat on her bed.
"It's ok, shhhh." She helped me out of my blazer and pulled me close to her.
Her arms were so fabulous I traced the muscles down to her forearms and looked up in her eyes, amazed that we were both breathing a little harder than we were before.
This time she kissed me, but nothing like the quick one we shared at the dance. A wet, open mouthed kiss that had her moaning in my mouth. I closed my eyes and gasped. She smiled and continued biting lightly on my lips and kissing me slowly, soon we were both wrapped around each other, with her on top of me on her bed.
Without asking she lifted my shirt off of my head and wetly kissed and sucked at my neck, my eyes widened in amazement at how wonderful it felt. Much better than I could have imagined. She smiled, and reached to take off her belt then boots and tights. She stood there for me in that black silk negligee looking like a dream. I stood up, by this time in my bra and tripping out of my pants, I moved in to her body and melted when she sighed.
"Take these off and lay down," she whispered. My eyes widened, I hesitated. She smiled and kissed me while whispering in my ear. "I promise it will be ok," she scraped a line from between my breasts down to my underwear with her thumbnail and looked in my eyes. I swallowed, breathing harder from her touch and helped her get my bra off. While I pushed my panties to the floor she lifted the negligee off her head.
I held my breathe, it had been years since I'd been face to face with another naked girl, and her body looked even more amazing with nothing covering it. Besides that, she seemed equally interested in me. She took my hand and pulled me back down to her bed, and we got under the covers.
It didn't take me long to get used to the feeling of being naked next to her, on top of her, and under her. And every time she kissed me it was better. Soon I was sweating, pulling on her shoulders, and running my hands all over her body, begging for her to kiss me.
She kept sucking on my lips, whispering encouragement in my ear, and I was delirious. Kristin ran her hands over my body, and I was trying to push into her, I wanted her to touch me, all over. She pushed me back on her bed, forcing my hips down and tracing small circles from my stomach up to my nipples with her tongue, I started shaking and sweating. Kristin kissed me again, but this time pulled and pinched on my nipples until my hips bucked into her.
When she looked into my eyes something changed between us, questioningly, she traced her fingertips across the top of my pubic hair and looked at me for a response, I could feel my eyes widen in fear, but also want. My hips lifted off her bed, and Kristin frowned as if she was going to say something, but took my face into her hands and kissed me, hard. Soon I was whimpering in her neck and guiding her hands back to my center. I was wet and hot in a way I'd never known, and needed her to touch me.
I reached towards her, but she shushed me and said it wasn't my "turn." Kristin pushed me back into her pillows and sat on my hips, sucking on my lips and nipples until all I was aware of was the smell of us in the room, and the noises we were making.
Finally something in my body just shifted and I looked into Kristin's eyes, demanding. It wasn't a smile, and it wasn't shy. It was as if I knew she had an answer to something I'd been asking all along. She stretched herself out on top of me, so I could feel her hard nipples on mine. I was panting, stomach and chest sweating, and slowly, so slowly she dragged her fingers down to my entrance. I was so wet, it was like she could fall in.
"Yeah?" she asked. I nodded, unable to keep my eyes open as she pushed deeper into me, and my hips lifted off the bed and I called out in pleasure.
A ragged sound, from deep in my throat kept pulling out of me every time I took a breathe. Kristin kept the eye contact and noticed how my body reacted, because she knew more about what was happening to me than I did.
When it was over, in a burst of heat and white I fell back onto her futon, exhausted. Kristin held me in her arms, kissing my cheek until my breathing returned to normal.
"Holy shit," I whispered. My stomach muscles were clenching and unclenching like I had run a distance, and when I finally caught my breathe and begged her to kiss me. I noticed how wet she was on my leg, and rolled us over to start kissing her, servicing her, this luscious woman underneath me. Her wonderful breasts that were barely a handful, but her deliciously hard little nipples were there for the taking.
I kissed her again, deeply, kissing down the side of her neck, across her shoulders and down those incredible arms. She started moaning, and I was instantly wet again. My leg found its place between her legs and I felt how hot she was. So hot and insistent. Her hands were hard and clawing on my ass, and all I could hear was the sound of her pleading in my years.
"Oh please, I want you so bad, you got me so turned on," Kristin was whispering, but it was all I could hear. "Oh yeah, please, now..." She pulled my hand down to her, and I gasped, unable to imagine anything more tantalizing. She was so wet and warm, it was like silk, wet hot silk and the heat was the most incredible loveliness I had ever felt. I was moaning almost as loudly as she was.
"I need you," Kristin begged. She was grunting and begging, literally begging me to fuck her, and I couldn't believe how much it turned me on. Even though I had just nearly passed out in ecstasy minutes before I felt a familiar pull take over my body as Kristin's hips began to move and my fingers were coated with her. I pumped into her, until she cried out, then fingered her clit, all the time amazed at the response it got from her.
When she came she was silent, but grabbed on so tight I thought she was going to break me. I rolled over so I could hold her in my arms, and stroked her hair, amazed I got my birthday wish.