My Bodyguard Chapter 12
A very special thanks to Ed for editing this chapter.
This story is not true.
This is a story of love, trust, hope, and commitment. It is not a sex story. However, this story deals with love between two teenagers. If you are offended by stories involving love between two teenage boys, please do not read this story. There will be some sex scenes in this story; however, sex is not the main theme. If you are under age 18 or 21 or it is illegal to read this story where you live, don't read it.
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I have loved my mom and dad. I loved Doug. I think that I even love my sister. But I have never been in love. Mark had opened something up in me that I never knew existed. I noticed things for the first time. How blue the sky is. How bright the sun is. How loud the birds sing. I look on my face as I look in the mirror. I have heard people say love is blind but I think that love made me more aware. I was feeling and seeing things I had never felt and seen before.
Life for me has always been stable. In the last week and a half I have gone from the depths of despair to the high of new love. I have never experienced life as a roller-coster. I should have expected the high I was on to come crashing back down but it did not.
I woke up this morning and Mark was not there. I assumed that he went running and let me sleep. I wandered into the bathroom and looked at myself in the mirror. I had this smile plastered on my face. I could not help it, I was in love. I took my shower and got dressed. Mark came in, wearing his sweats. I smiled warmly at him and he smiled back.
"Can I have a hug?" I asked.
"Sure."
We hugged and I gave him a quick peck on the lips.
"Good morning, sunshine."
"Good morning to you too."
"I am going to get some breakfast, see you downstairs."
"Okay, I am going to take a shower."
I hate Tuesday. It is almost as bad as a Monday. But with Mark by my side, how bad can it be? When I got downstairs Mom was in the kitchen, making breakfast.
"Good morning, Mom."
"Good morning, Mike. Where is Mark?"
"Taking his shower."
"So you two are not taking a shower together today?"
"Gee, Mom, is there anything that we do that goes unnoticed?"
"Nope."
"I did not go running with Mark today and that is why he is behind me."
"Have a seat, Mike. I have bacon, eggs, and toast for you guys."
"Thanks. Mom."
Mark came down a few minutes later. He ate and off to school we went.
"Thanks for letting me sleep extra today, Mark."
"You did look peaceful sleeping. Don't think just because I go running every day and working out that you have to join me, Mike. I like your company but you have your own life. I don't expect you to change it for me. I am not going to stop running just because you don't and you should not have to start just because I do."
"I don't expect you to change for me, Mark. I love you just the way you are. And not just because you are in shape. I love you for what is inside you."
"I don't expect you to change for me either, but we will need to meet halfway on some things. I will try to keep an open mind but I am used to doing what I want to do when I want to do it."
"I appreciate that, and I will try to meet you halfway on things also."
I did not realize when I said those words that it just might come back to haunt me.
The morning went fast and I worked hard to control my smile. At lunch Doug joined us. He did not say much at first but then he started to open up. Mark became quiet.
"Hey, guys, do you think that I can come over after school?" Doug asked.
"Perhaps tomorrow. Mike and I have something we need to do after school today." Mark stated.
"Okay, perhaps tomorrow then," Doug replied.
I did not know of anything we were doing after school but I let it drop.
The afternoon went smoothly and soon it was time to go home. Mark and I rode home in silence. When we got home we went up to our room.
"So what are we doing that is so important that I can't have my friend Doug come over today?" I stated.
I guess I came on a little strong because for the first time I could see Mark get pissed.
"Do you remember the conversation we had this morning about how WE will need to meet halfway on some things?"
"Yes, but..."
"Do you remember me telling you that if WE are going to be boyfriends that you would need to work with me on some things?"
"Yes, but..."
"No buts, Mike. This is not about you, this is about us. I don't think that WE should totally trust Doug and that we should discuss some things before he comes over."
"You don't even know Doug. He stuck out his neck by sitting with us today. I think he is coming along. I think that I need to give him another chance."
"You just don't get it, Mike. What is with you and all this 'I, I, I' stuff? You can be so selfish at times. This is not about you, it is about us. And keeping us safe."
Now I was pissed. Who does he think he is, telling me who can and can't be my friend? And who can and can't come over. I snapped and said something I wanted to pull back just as soon as I said it.
"Just because you are afraid to get close to anyone does not mean that I can't."
Mark went from a pissed off took to a hit look. I felt hit too.
"Whatever. When you are ready to discuss this without taking cheap shots, let me know."
Mark grabbed his sweats and left the room. I guess he was going to beat up his punching bag. I should have said that I was sorry right away but I was too proud. I tried to do some homework but I could not concentrate. I went downstairs and watched some TV. The only thing on was on of these talk shows with everyone fighting. Just what I needed to see. NOT. This morning the birds were singing and the sky was blue and a smile was pasted on my face. Now?
Dad came home and we all sat down for dinner. He asked how our day went and we both said okay. Mom and Dad looked at each other and did not ask us any more questions. After dinner I went and asked Dad if I could talk to him. We went into his study.
"Dad, I need you to tell me what to do."
"I told you, Mike, I am not going to tell you what to do any more. You need to make some decisions for yourself now."
"Dad, why am I up one minute and down the next?"
"That is because you are growing up. What you are experiencing is called growing pains. Just try not to let your ups go too far up and your downs too far down."
"Mark and I had our first disagreement today."
"You are going to have disagreements, Mike; that is part of relationships. Your mother and I agree to disagree. You have to remember that Mark is also trying to protect you. If you don't mind me asking, what was your disagreement about?"
"Two things really. First, Mark does not trust Doug and he felt that we need to talk about some things before he came over here. Second, I can't choose who my friends are."
"Whoa right there, Mike. Is Mark your boyfriend or not?"
"Yes."
"Then what is this 'I can't choose' stuff? You two are a team now! Do you remember when you came out to your mother and me?"
"Yes."
"Did I tell you what I thought we should do or did I excuse your mother and me to discuss what WE should do? How would your mother have felt if I did not include her in my decisions?"
"Left out."
"Exactly, and I would have been selfish."
"That is what Mark called me."
"And rightfully so. Mike, you need to understand that when you have a companion that you share your life with, you need to make important decisions together. It is not about I or ME, but US and WE. Do you understand that?"
"I guess. It will take some getting used to."
"Come on now, Mike, I did not raise you to think only of yourself. I can't be that hard. If anyone should be having a hard time with that, it should be Mark. He has always been a loner."
"I know. I told him, 'Just because you are afraid to get close to anyone does not mean that I can't.' I regretted saying it as soon as I said it."
"You should not have said that. What was his response?"
"He said, 'Whatever. When you are ready to discuss this without taking cheap shots, let me know.'"
"I am starting to like Mark more and more. He sure did handle it better than you did."
"Mike, I can't tell you what to do. You have to be able to live with your own decision. I will give you some advice though. A wise man once said, (Author's note: I found this one in Storm Front Chapter 23; there is a link to it on my web page.) 'Once bitten, twice shy, twice bitten, bye bye'. I agree with Mark. What is Doug going to say if he finds out that you two are sleeping together? Are you going to tell him that you and Mark are lovers, without Mark's consent? Are you going to lie to Doug?"
"I think that it is great that Doug doesn't hate you, Mike, but before you make a decision, you need to be in agreement with Mark. It is no longer about what you think. It is about what you and Mark think! I think that you are so glad that Doug no longer hates you, that you are blind to the fact that he is the one who put you in this mess. I also think that you and Mark need to slow down some so that your highs are not so high and your lows so low. Remember what Sam said, to trust nobody. You can trust Mark, me, your mother, Sam, and Mark's mother, and no one else. If I know Mark as good as I think I know him, he has a broken heart right now and you need to fix it. And fast!"
"Thanks, Dad, I will."
I went right up to my room and found Mark reading a book.
"Mark, can we talk for a minute?"
"As long as you are not going to be a hardheaded self-centered asshole!"
"I guess I deserve that. Mark, I am truly sorry about what I said earlier and you're right, I was being a hardheaded self-centered asshole. I did not mean to hurt you. Can you forgive me?"
"Come here."
And he pulled me into a hug.
"Mike, I am in this for the long haul. I thought that I had lots to learn but it seems that we both have some things to learn. We need to respect each other's feelings. We need to make decisions together. This is important. I love you, Mike, and I am not going to let anyone hurt you, not even myself. That is why I walked away from you when I did. Just don't hurt me too much. I am not sure how much I can take before I break. My heart is truly in your hands!"
"I promise I will not hurt you again, Mark."
"Be realistic, Mike, because you will hurt me again. Just remember I love you and I can forgive you. Your ability to forgive others is one of the reasons that I love you. But you can love someone without trusting them. Now, how are we going to handle Doug?"
"I don't think that it would be a good idea to tell him that we are together."
"I can agree with that."
"I don't think we should lie to him either."
"Very true."
"If he asks why we are sleeping in the same room, we can tell him that you need to protect me 24 hours a day."
"That sounds good. What if he asks why we only have one bed?"
"You need to keep a real close eye on me."
"What if he asks if I mind sleeping with a gay guy?"
"Ask him if I ever tried anything with him."
"What if he asks if you are my boyfriend and if we are together?"
"Tell him we are best friends and are together 24 hours a day."
"What if he resents the fact that I am your best friend now?"
"He brought that upon himself. When in doubt, don't answer, or change the subject. Answer a question with a question whenever possible."
"DO YOU UNDERSTAND WHY WE NEED TO TALK ABOUT THIS, MIKE?"
"Yes, we're sorry."
"We're sorry?" Mark asked.
"Well, you don't want me to say 'I' any more. It is 'WE are sorry' or 'US', no more 'me or I', we are a team."
"Good boy."
And he kissed me on the cheek.
I could hear the birds singing again.
"Mike, there is something else I need to talk to you about. I felt guilty after last night. I think we are moving too fast. I think we need to slow down before one or both of us gets hurt. How about we each take care of ourselves for now. OK?"
"Okay, Mark, that is what Dad keeps telling me too. I am sorry for pushing you."
"It is okay, Mike. I have the same hormones running through my body and I got just carried away as you did, but let's slow down and enjoy our friendship for now. OK?"
"Sure."
We talked about a bunch more stuff that night before we went to bed together. We survived our first fight and got to know each other better. In a way, it made us closer because we realized just how easy it is to hurt each other. That day we went from 'I' and 'me' to 'us' and 'we'.