I have changed the names to protect my family; otherwise this is a true story. I am posting it to this board in the sincere hope that someone who reads it may have some advice to help me through a difficult situation.
My father is a minister in the local church in small suburb outside of Tulsa. I have an older sister who studies ancient languages at a university about two hours away, and I am a senior in high school. Our mother died of cancer three and a half years ago, after a two-year struggle. Since that time our father has become harsh and distant, and has developed a drinking problem. My sister recently became engaged to an older doctorate student from her school, after dating for about a year or so.
Although my father knows that my sister is sexually active, he has a rule that her fiancé is not allowed to sleep in her bedroom when he stays over at our house. Since my room has two twin beds Steve, as I shall call him, stays with me when he visits for the weekend. I like Steve very much. He has taken me fishing a couple of times as well as go-kart racing, and has invited me along to movies and such when he and my sister go out. He comes from a prominent local family and had a reputation as a hell raiser at one time. His parents sent him away for high school, to a military school, and afterwards he joined the military. After his discharge he pursued a college education in theology, and at this time he is working on his doctorate.
As I have mentioned I am a senior at a public high school in a small town in the Bible belt. I am a straight-A student basically, with special proficiency in mathematics, and I am a strong player on the tennis team. I have a girlfriend, but we are both still virgins at this time. She is willing to have sex it seems, but I am painfully shy and inexperienced. I am not gay, and I have never had any sexual contact with another male. Since junior-high, though, I have had a number crushes on boys from school, and I have covertly watched them in the showers and locker room at school. I masturbate regularly to straight porn on the internet, and sometime I also fantasize about the boys I have had crushes on. I do not view gay porn on my computer because I am afraid that my father will view the logs of my internet activity.
Steve has stayed over at our house for weekends and holidays many times over the past year or so that he has been dating my sister, and has slept with me in my room on each of those visits. He is thin with an athletic body, short dark hair, pale skin, and blue eyes. He is masculine, but his personality is extremely calm and mild mannered. I have had an intense crush on him since the first time I met him.
I try not to make it obvious, but every time that Steve takes a shower or changes his clothes I make an excuse to be present in my room, and try to appear occupied by doing homework or playing video games. I guess I wasn't as discreet as I thought I was.
This weekend my father and sister left early Saturday morning to attend to a church outreach program. I slept in and when I got up Steve was still at home as well. I thought he would be with my sister, but he said he had stayed behind to catch up on reading for school. I had breakfast and coffee with Steve in the kitchen. When I was finished Steve stretched and said he was going in for a hot shower. I waited until I heard the water running and then went to my bedroom, sat down at my desk and started working on calculus, waiting to covertly stare at his naked body. After a while the water stopped, and in a minute he came into the room wearing just a green towel.
I don't know if I mentioned it, but he has a very nice dick which I love to look at when I can. It is uncircumcised and meaty. This time when he came in I could see right away that he dick was tenting out the front of the towel. He must have had a hard-on in the shower, I thought. He dried himself off in plain view, and then dropped the towel. He stood near me, completely naked. His dick was puffy and extended, but not hard. He looked at my papers and asked me what I was working on. Calculus, I said. Cool, he said.
He stood like basically directly in front of me, stretching out for a while, and then sat down on a chair, still naked and facing me. I pretended to study. When I looked up to steal a peak, he was sitting there and now he had a full-on erection. His face and neck were flushed red, and he was staring down at his dick. I froze. I didn't know what to do. But I had never seen a dick like this before. It got really big when it got hard, and it had a regular head like mine, which came out of the skin when it became fully erect. And dude, this thing was fully, painfully erect. I tried to go back down to my pretend studying, but I just couldn't take my eyes away. Oh my god, it was like a dream. I could hear my heart pounding in my temples, and my palms felt itchy. I was trembling. I couldn't take my eyes away. Finally I gave up on pretending not to look and just began to stare openly at his hard dick.
He seemed to be nervous as well. The red blotchiness spread down his chest. He wouldn't look at me in my eyes. His hands were shaking as he grasped his dick and started pumping it. He would pull the skin up until the head was fully retracted, and then slowly pump all the way down again. The tip was leaking pre-cum. After a while he asked, "Is this cool, Daniel?"
"Um hum."
And then after a while he asked, "You like lookin at my dick, huh, Daniel?"
"Um hum."
"Good. Because I like to showin you my hard dick, Daniel... We're buds now Daniel, okay?"
"Um hum."
The pumping got faster. I moved my chair closer. Then he pumped really fast and shot a wad of spunk half way across the room. He caught the rest in the green towel, and then quickly wiped up the mess off the carpet, as best he could. Afterwards he had a big smile on his face. "Dude, that was cool," he said, out of breath. "Do you wanna pull one off now?" He looked at me with curiosity.
"I dunno." I really did want to, but I was just way too shy.
"Okay, no sweat man." He didn't push.
Late that night when he came in to go to bed I was wide awake laying in bed pretending to be asleep. He turned on the lamp, and coughed, and started getting undressed. I was watching from behind my pillow as he pulled down his jeans and underpants. His dick was rock hard again and sprung out like a jack-in-the-box. I adjusted my pillow and opened my eyes. He has standing facing my bed, feet spread, wearing just his tee shirt, and pumping his dick again. Under the covers I started stroking my own dick which was also fully erect. He pulled off another load while I watched, and this time caught the spunk in his hands. "G'night man. I'm beat." And then he hopped into his bed.
I jacked off four times under the covers, fantasizing about his dick.
Sunday he left to go back to school. I haven't been able to think about anything else for a week. I can't concentrate or study, and I keep jacking off thinking about his dick and his naked body. I want to suck his dick, and other stuff as well, but he's going to marry my sister in a few months. I'm torn apart inside my mind, and don't know what to do. I'm hoping someone on this board will have some advice for me, Please let me know if you can help.