MY ELVISH BOYFRIEND (1)
By Dolphin Dan
This is a long story (in several parts) of my relationship with Ernemion, my Varandi boyfriend, and my sexual adventures with him both in this country and in Varandikar. It happened many years ago but I've never told anyone the details before now.
I first encountered him at the end of the summer between my junior and senior year in high school. This would have been the summer of 1992. I lived in Bellhampton, Washington, which is a fairly affluent suburb of Seattle. You think of the Pacific Northwest as rainy all the time, but actually the summers are spectacular, or at least they were until global warming made them unbearably hot and smoky from forest fires. Before that, there used to be about two weeks at the end of August where everything was just beautiful, the nights warm, and coming at the end of summer for a high school student this is the most intensive partying phase of the summer. It was at a pool party on one of these warm summer nights where I met Ernie.
The party was at a house owned by the aunt and uncle of a friend of mine, Dave. They were out of town for the weekend so of course Dave threw a rager. The house had an awesome pool and a deck and the living room had a big projection TV. There were between 15 and 20 people there, most from Bellhampton High and a few from St. Olaf's Academy which was the Catholic school not far from ours. I didn't know them all and was kind of on the outside orbit, socially, of most of them. One of the popular girls from our school, Leigh, showed up with a strange boy in tow who nobody had seen before. She called him Ernie. Her parents had volunteered to be a host family for our school's exchange program, and Ernie, who was going to be attending Bellhampton High this coming year, was from Varandikar. He had been in the United States less than 48 hours.
I had never seen an elf in person before. Ernie was absolutely dreamy. He was tall and thin but had a very graceful way of moving which is typical among elvish people. He had beautiful brown hair, long, down past his shoulders, dark straight eyebrows and a little pug nose. You could drown in his blue eyes which were a very unusual shade, extremely vivid, the kind of oil paint that's that color is called ultramarine. His ears were pointed but you could only see the very tips of them sticking up from under his hair. His fingers were also very long and you could see just by the way he grasped objects (like a Solo cup filled with beer) that he was double-jointed. His clothes were out of date. This was 1992 but he looked like he walked out of the 80s, with a faded Hobie T-shirt, acid washed jeans and high-top Reebok sneakers, all about 4 years out of date. He was so shy that I didn't hear him speak until he'd been at the party for an hour but he spoke English with a thick Eastern European accent. I instantly wondered what his dick looked like. They say tall thin guys tend to have long dicks and be skilled lovers. Was that true of elves? I had no hope of finding out; no one at my school (or anywhere else) knew I was gay.
It was mostly just a normal party for a while, kids standing around drinking beer, but then toward the end of the evening the popular kids were like, "Let's go swimming!" Most of the guests had brought bathing suits. We took turns at the bathrooms but there weren't enough, so I got changed in the study, a room like a movie set filled with maghogany bookshelves, brass knickknacks and even a ship's wheel. We started jumping into the pool. There was a hot tub too, separated from the pool by a tiled weir wall, but at first it was all about swimming. I was always self-conscious to be seen in public with my shirt off as I was stocky and a little dumpy, I had some black hair on my chest, and at that time (I was 17) still had my braces on my teeth. Your typical unattractive high school kid.
When Ernie came out onto the deck ready to swim it was like the waters of the Red Sea parted. I mean, he was hot. Dressed only in long (mid-thigh length) baggy swim trunks, the sight of this Eastern European elf with his shirt off was pretty stunning. It's not like he looked so different. Elves are just another of the many varieties of human beings. He was thin but his shoulders were rounded and the muscles of his upper arms bulged as he moved. There was not a hair on his chest or stomach until you got down to his navel, and you could see the start of his "happy trail" that led down to his genitals under the waist of his swim trunks. His thighs and calves were covered in short brown hair. I was amazed by his feet, which were gigantic. Ernie had a 28" waist but wore size 13 shoes and he told me later that these shoes hurt him because they were so constrictive. His toes were the least human-looking thing about him, they looked like an eagle's talons, and his middle toe was almost twice as long as his big toe. Instead of toenails he had claws. Unconstrained by shoes, his toes splayed out like a bird's talons. There was a tiny bit of wispy hair on the tops of his feet. I learned later that when Varandi go abroad they often wear ankle bracelets, and he had a little gold chain around his left ankle. He paused on the diving board, said, "Vell, here goes," and slipped so gracefully into the water that he barely left a ripple on its surface. He swam underwater, in one fluid motion, the entire length of the pool. Then he surfaced in the deep end, spat, and wiped his wet hair out of his face. Now everybody could see his pointed ears, hard and triangular, his long wet hair brushed behind them. For the first time it dawned on everyone at the party (especially me) that this boy was very different from the rest of us, but no one said anything.
Elves can consume a tremendous amount of alcohol without showing any effects, and there is no effective drinking age in Varandi, so as the party wore on Ernie just kept pounding beers, far more than anyone else had but he still seemed stone-cold sober. Eventually several of the boys, myself and Dave included, and a jock from St. Olaf's wound up in the hot tub next to the pool. At first Ernie wasn't there but soon he joined, bringing a Solo cup filled to the brim with beer. When he got in there were six people in this small hot tub, all male. Dave said something about it being "a sausagefest" and various homophobic insults were bandied about. Ernie was three people away from me, all the way across the tub. The jets were going full blast. Thank God, because when I looked at him I got a boner which tented out my swim trunks but in the bubbling water no one could see.
It was mostly just bad jokes and dumb teenager talk in the hot tub, and Ernie clearly didn't understand it all, but he smiled and pretended to go along. All we learned from him was that, although he was enrolled in our school as a junior, 11th grade, he was the same age as those of us who were seniors (most high school seniors are 17 going into the year and turn 18 before graduation; Ernie was also 17 but he was the class of 1994, a year behind us and would be 19 when he graduated; this was some weird effect of the Varandi school system). He was a very shy boy. Anyone would be, their first few days in a foreign country. I thought Ernie was super hot. Over the next few days I jacked off several times thinking about him, but he was always like a celebrity fantasy, not a real person you could ever imagine yourself being with.
School started right after Labor Day. I saw Ernie in the halls of Bellhampton High and my heart skipped a beat each time I saw him. And on the first day of school, 7th period, I was amazed to go to physics class and found that he was in my same class, which had both juniors and seniors. Our teacher was Dr. Cazales, who was a throwback from the '60s. Ernie and I both sat in the back row, near the windows. When Dr. Cazales assigned lab partners, and paired me and Ernie off together, it was like a sign from God. Ernie was totally clueless. He spoke English, but you had to speak slowly and enunciate very clearly for him to understand, and most people didn't do that. He was too shy to ask anybody to repeat themselves, so he pretended to understand even when he didn't. I caught on to this quickly. At the end of class one day, this was a Friday at the end of September, we had a test coming up the next week, I asked Ernie, "You really don't know what's going on, do you?" He said, no, I really don't. I told him, if you want to pass this test, study with me this next week.
Ernie lived with Leigh's family. Leigh was one of the popular girls. I think she was a little nonplussed when I started showing up at her house in the afternoons to tutor Ernie. Leigh's mother, though, who was Italian, absolutely loved us. She would bake Italian bread sticks for us every time I'd come over. (Like the kind you get at Olive Garden, except WAY better!) I taught Ernie everything I knew and I was super patient as we went through the textbook, sounding out English words. By the end of the week Ernie was calculating complicated physics problems. I didn't teach him that. He was super, almost scary smart. He just needed help on the language barrier. When we took the test on Friday of the next week, I got an 85 (middle B), and Ernie got a 94 (an A). I was sad because when the test was over it meant I wouldn't be coming to his house in the afternoons anymore. But that very day, Friday, the last day of September, as we got out of physics class after the test, Ernie said, "I vould like to study wit you some more. Vill you come over Monday?" I said yes, of course. He smiled and he said, "I vould not hef past but vor you. I ztill neet your help." He patted me on the shoulder and smiled and said, "Danny. Number one friendt!"
The next time I went over to study with him, Ernie was not interested in physics. We studied a while but he wasn't paying attention to the book, and then he said, "Vot do you know about girls? Zere are girls who vant me to go wit dem." I asked him what he meant by this and he said that girls at school had been sending him romantic notes, and one had asked him out. He said, "Shouldt I say yes?" I asked him to show me one of these notes. It was from some chick, written on notebook paper in red ink with lots of hearts and smiley faces. I asked him, is this what you want? Do you just want to be with a lot of hot girls? If so, do it.
I'll never forget what Ernie said. He took the note, spread it out on the desk in front of us, and he said: "I do not like zese girls. Zey do not know who I am." I said, then just ignore their notes. I could not believe I had the balls to ask: "Who would you rather be with?"
Ernie and I kissed for the first time in the room that Leigh's parents had set aside as a study, over the table, our physics textbooks open in front of us. He slid his tongue down my throat and it was absolutely glorious, but also dangerous. Leigh or her mother or anyone in the house could have come in and seen us kissing. But the moment was so incredibly hot between us. My dick was rock hard and it felt like there was so much static electricity in my pants I could have lit up Chicago. I knew instantly that my suspicion was right: Ernemion was gay as the day was long and he had absolutely no use for girls. The fact that he liked me was incredibly flattering. I did not know what to do. I even asked him, "What do we do?"
Ernie was smart and he could think on the spot. He said, "Next week'nt you vill invite me to your house. To spent ze night. Your parents will not qvest'n, yah? Zey do not know?" What he meant was, they do not know you're gay. I said, no, they don't know. "Zen zey vill not suspect vhen you invite a boy to stay. Zey vill just think friendtz. You vill do zis, yah?" Of course, "yah." He could have asked me to lay down in front of a freight train and I would have done it.
My parents had no suspicion. I was inviting a boy over to our house for a sleepover. We were a little old for it, but aside from that it was innocuous. They were amazed and curious, Ernemion was the first elf they ever had in their home. We had an epic dinner of steak, baked potatoes and homemade bread. Throughout the whole meal Ernie complimented my mother. "This is what steak taste like? Wow, this is so good. Mrs. Comnenus, this is best meal I have ever had!"
When my parents and sister went to bed Ernie and I were left alone in our sleeping bags on the floor of the living room. We deliberately left a movie playing on the VCR, it was "Dick Tracy" with Warren Beatty. We sure as hell weren't watching it, it was just to mask the sounds from the room. Ernie crawled into my sleeping bag. He had nothing but his underwear on, but he took it off immediately and as we kissed he reached down and started pulling off my briefs. We were naked together and the atmosphere inside the sleeping bag was burning hot. I had done some sexual things with boys before and even given a brief blow job one time, but this was the most intense thing I had ever done. Ernie took me in his arms. I reached down and touched his cock which was throbbing hard. I was amazed at how long it was. His balls were also big and mostly hairless. He groaned as soon as I touched him. I would never in a million years have dreamed I would have an elf's penis in my hand or be playing with his balls. Above all I did not want to fuck up and ruin his pleasure, I was more afraid of that than anything.
I masturbated him at first, but after a few minutes Ernie took my hands away by pinning my wrists to the floor above my head, and he got on top of me and stuck his hard dick between my thighs which I instinctively squeezed together to give him more resistance. I didn't know at this time that this was sometimes called the "Greek position" because it was rumored to be how frat boys fucked each other in a way they could pretend (implausibly) that they weren't really having gay sex. I don't care what fraternity brothers think, Ernie was definitely fucking me. He was humping pretty hard and if I had been observing us from afar I would have seen his round shapely ass pushing the sleeping bag up and down. If anyone came into the room it would have been undeniable that we were fucking. As we got farther into it he started panting like a dog. He whispered some things which were nonsensical to me but I realized were words in his native language, Varandi, probably dirty words. I kept hearing the word "vzshoas" which I learned later was a dirty Varandi word for dick or penis, and as he approached climax he said, "Umpzhahe! Umpzhahe!" which (again I learned later) was a form of the Varandi word "umpshaz" meaning cum or ejaculation. (Specifically future tense: "umpzha" + "he" means "I'm going to cum," or add another dirty word, "Umpzha ehetit he," meaning "I'm going to fucking cum," or "Umpzha ehetit he nos vazshale," meaning, "I'm going to fucking cum all over you.")
He did not cum all over me, but he shot a hot sticky load between my thighs which left a huge wet spot on my sleeping bag. Ernie purred like a cat in the aftermath of his ejaculation. Then he whispered, "Okay, you do like to me?" He got under me and pressed his legs together, sandwiching my much smaller cock between them. He drew his arms up around my back and it felt so warm and nice it was almost better than the sex itself. I probably humped him for less than 30 seconds before I came. It was the most intense orgasm I'd had up to that point. The sleeping bag was soaked, but it was a wonderful evening.
I hoped there would be more to come, and I was right, a lot more.
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