Disclaimer:
This story is fiction, totally fake. I don't know NSYNC, or any of the other celebrities that will show up, don't know anything about them, besides the usual fan stuff, I don't know anything about any of the guys sexuality. This is simply a story that I wanted to write. I hope you enjoy it.
Legal Stuff:
This story does contain some adult material, and not necessarily sex. It covers a sensitive subject. Eventually there might be some sex involved and if you are underage you better not being reading this. Or if it is illegal in your area to view this material. If it's not then enjoy and remember authors need feedback to make the story better, so write me.
Chapter One: Meeting the guys
Well I had spent the latter part of the night alternating between blithering idiot and a screaming freak. Why you ask? I am sure that is what the four guys sitting in this posh hotel room are wondering too. As for me I know the reason, problem is I can't tell them what it is. I kept trying, I would open my mouth and a sob would escape and I would start all over again. Every so often I would make some kind of coherent sounds, but they made no sense to them, only to me, for example.
"Nicky! I need Nicky!" Which would be followed with one or more of them going.
"Who is Nicky? How do we get a hold of him?" Which would make me say something along the lines of.
"Drewby! I want Drewby!" Again with the same line following.
"Who is Drewby? How do we get him to you?" Ironically enough not one of these guys seemed to care who I was? At least no one had asked my name. After about an hour of crying and screaming, I feel asleep, out of sheer exhaustion.
The next day.
I awoke in a strange bed, but that was just the beginning of the weirdness that was to follow. As I started to sit up I realized that someone was holding on to me. Fighting the panic and the desire to scream, I looked down and saw it was him. The guy that had saved me, ironic that all I wanted was to meet him not have him try to cure me, though "cure me" sounds like I have a medical problem. My problem is more mental, though there are a few physical signs that show. Sliding out form under his grasp I sat up and surveyed the room. The other three guys were stationed around the room: one was in a chair and the other two were on sofas. As soon as my foot hit the floor the one closest to me opened his eyes, and looked at me.
"Hey you're awake," he whispered. I wanted to say 'duh' but went with, "Yeah, where is the bathroom?" I asked my voice low and painful. He just pointed I guess he wasn't as awake as I thought he was. Walking over to the door, I pushed it open and wandered into probably one of the biggest bathroom I had ever been in. I was mildly worried about getting lost. But I found the things I needed. I came out of the bathroom with a glass in my hand, water just so you know, I don't drink partly be because I can't not old enough and partly because I have seen the effects it has. Sitting in the only empty chair left, I sipped my water wishing I had some chamomile tea with me along with a bit of honey to sooth my throat but I had to make due. My bathroom adventure seemed to go unnoticed by anyone. The one guy that was awake for it was sound asleep again. I watched these guys sleep. They looked so content, I wondered if I looked like that while I was asleep. Probably the only time.
Two hours pass.
The silence is starting to get to me. I wish someone would wake up so I at least have someone to talk too. As if reading my mind, the guy in the chair started waking up. Justin was who he was; he was also the one that pointed the way to the bathroom. It was hard to believe he was twenty-two years old. He looked so young just having woken up. Glancing at the bed he noticed I wasn't in it, but failed to notice I was sitting in the chair.
"I guess he took off in the middle of the night, too bad, I was hoping we could help him." He said as he started to get up.
"Actually he would be sitting over here." I said with a small half smile.
"Aaaaahhhhh!" he screamed, everyone bolted up right. I couldn't help but laugh at the look on his face, it was priceless.
"I'm guessing now would be a bad time to ask for an autograph?" I said with that same half smile, my voice still sounded weak and painful.
"Yeah," was about all he could say.
"Duly noted." I said. Looking around the room I suddenly remembered what brought me here. My knees jumped up to my chest, my arms going around my bent legs, my breath got tighter, my eyes watery.
"Josh get over here, we're losing him." Justin cried out. Josh, the guy on the bed, jumped up and ran over to the chair I was in.
"Hey come on, no more tears. We will sign anything you want, right guys?" He said with a smile. The others jumped in to agree. I tried really hard to listen to his words. My breathing slowed but I still wouldn't let go of my bent legs. I rested my chin oh my knees.
"Promise?" I asked in a shaky voice.
"On my word of honor." Josh said.
"Then the only question is how good is the word of JC Chesez?" I asked with that self same half smile. He smiled back, a full smile almost blinding.
"You will just have to stick around and find out," he said.
"As much as I would like that, I have to get going, I have wasted enough of your time with my outbursts." I said, starting to get up. Josh put his hand on mine.
"Please don't go. Let us try and help you," he said.
"No one can help me," I whispered.
"It wouldn't hurt to let us try would it?" he asked giving me puppy dog eyes. God I hate that, I can never say no.
"I guess it wouldn't hurt, God knows I can't get much worse." I said sadly. "I wish Drewby or Nicky were here with me. Maybe I wouldn't feel so alone, even if they would totally freak out." I muttered to myself.
"Who are these guys? Maybe we can help you find them," Josh said.
"They are my cousins, and I bet I could guess where they are." I said.
"Then call them." Justin said.
"No. They would just worry and they have lives of their own to live." I said.
"Sounds to me like they would bend over backwards to help you." Josh said.
"They would, but they would insist on flying out here right away or flying me to them, or something. I will make you a deal JC." His eyebrows went up.
"Josh." He said interrupting me.
"As you wish, Josh. Here is the deal I will call them later today. That way I don't sound like this." I said my voice starting to get painful again.
"Is your throat sore? Duh Josh dumb question." He said.
"There is no such thing as a dumb question. As for my throat, yeah it hurts I wish I had some hot tea to help it." I said patting his hand in a reassuring gesture.
"Let's order some room service then." Chris said.
"Yeah I am starving," added in Joey.
"So speaketh the silent ones of NSYNC." I said with a laugh. Chris going 'ha ha' was all I got for it.
"Justin you're closest to the phone you call." Josh said.
"Yeah, yeah, yeah. You just don't want to leave him alone over there on that side of the room." Justin said pointing to me.
"You know you guys could try using this thing that's called a name. Remember that?" I said.
"Would help if we knew it?" Justin said as he reached for the phone.
"Oh yeah I forgot to tell you, didn't I? My name is..."
"Sean," said a deep voice. I felt my body tense, but I started to tremble too, I knew that voice. Even if I had only heard if for a little while. It was the voice of none other than Lance Bass, the fifth and final member of NSYNC. I wanted to cry. He was the reason I was here in the first place, well sort of.
Flashback to the previous night.
The concert was everything I hopped it would be. I was in heaven. I had never been so happy, and for me that was saying a lot. I was gripping my back stage pass like it was made of gold, which to me it was. I was actually going to go back stage and meet NSYNC, I wanted to scream, good scream, like the teenage girls around me. The nice security guard, I didn't catch his name, told me that the guys were in there dressing rooms, and that I could knock on one of the doors to meet the guys. He pointed down the hall and I followed his line of sight, he told me Lance was the first door on the left. I walked down there, my hands visibly shaking I stood before the door. All I had to do was knock, but I couldn't do it. I was terrified. I stood there for probably a minute, felt like a million years to me. When the door opened and there he stood, I started to step back, thinking he was walking out. But he grabbed my arm and gently pulled me into the room with him I was scared I would faint.
"Hi, I am Lance." He said in that deep soothing voice. Name now I had to remember mine name.
"I...I am...I am Sean." I finally got it out. Lance looked at me a bit funny.
"Are you okay?" He asked stepping a bit closer.
"Just a bit star struck I guess." I stammered.
"You sure, you look really uncomfortable." Lance said. He stepped in closer still. "Why don't you sit down, right here." He said indicating the sofa against the wall.
"Okay," I managed to say. I sad down and Lance sad down beside me, really really close to me.
"So," Lance said breaking the ice. "We don't get many guys that want backstage passes to meet us." He said.
"I just love your music," I said. "I was really upset when I missed the concert last time. So this time I decided to go all out." I said with a smile. Lance smiled back, assessing the information I had just dished out.
"You live in LA?" he asked.
"No Pasadena." I said.
"Cool." Lance said. "Can I ask you a few questions?" He added.
"Sure go for it." I said.
"How old are you?" He said, reddening at the cheeks, I guess he felt silly for asking me.
"I will turn nineteen in September." I answered. "Are you still living at home?" Lance asked.
"Don't really have a home anymore." I said my voice low.
"Sorry I didn't mean to drag up bad memories," Lance said.
"Not your fault, you didn't know." I said trying to brush the hurt away. I felt his hand on mine.
"It's going to be okay." Lance said.
"Thanks."
"So before you lived in Pasadena where did you grow up, because that accent isn't form California?" Lance said
"Okay guilty, I grew up in Westchester New York but moved to Chicago when I was eleven." I said with a smile.
"Nice I have been there a few times." He said.
"I bet." I added with a laugh, about then I noticed his hand hadn't moved it was still placed on mine. I thought 'he can't be making a move on ME? Can he?' I turned to say something to him about it, when I felt his lips on mine. My world went spinning; I kept thinking this couldn't be happening. I kissed back. Eventually we broke for breath. I looked into his green eyes, but they looked strange, almost cold.
"Nice kiss but I have had better." He said in an off-handed way. It knocked the breath out of me. I felt like he hit me, part of me wished he had. "You can leave if you want to now." Lance said as he got up. I felt my vision blur I knew I was about to fall apart. I stood up to go. I had to get out of here and get out soon. I headed for the door. "By the way, don't tell anyone, I wouldn't want to have to sue you for defilement of character." He said. Then and there I hit the floor, letting out one blood-curdling scream of pain, the tears fell like rain. My knees clapped to my chest and I buried my hands in my face. I wanted to die right there I wanted the ground to open up and swallow me whole. Lance's dressing room door burst open and Josh ran in, seeing the shocked look on his friends face he saw me. He knelt down beside me and gently wrapped his arms around me. I couldn't do anything but cry, throwing a dirty look at Lance he picked me up and walked out. After leaving the room I couldn't tell you what happened eventually we ended up in his hotel room, all the time he was trying to get me to calm down.
End flashback.
Back in the hotel room.
"Lance what the hell are you doing here?" Josh asked trying to be calm but not doing a real good job about it.
"I thought we had a morning meeting?" Lance said innocently.
"We would be if you hadn't done something to our new guest here yesterday." Josh said referring to me. I was busily shaking and trying really hard not to fall apart.
"Yeah, speaking of that, I was wondering if I could talk to Sean alone." Lance said. Josh looked at me and I shook my head no. I had a hold of his hand like it was a life preserver.
"Sorry Lance, but if you want to talk to him you do it in front of all of us." Josh said.
"Fine," He said. "I just wanted to say Sean that I don't know what I did to you yesterday but I am truly sorry about it." Lance said. In his defense he did really look sorry. But I knew better, after letting out a bitter laugh. I said.
"Sorry? Is that the best you can say? Sorry doesn't make the pain go away. It still hurts; you have no idea what you even did to me. How can you be sorry about it? You are not even sure what happened." I all but yelled at him. I felt myself loosing control. Then it happened, I felt Josh squeeze my hand, I looked at him and saw the pain in his eyes, and the pain I put there for yelling at his friend. Someone who at least came to apologize to me, a virtual stranger, but I still couldn't let the hurt go. Lance was sitting on the floor in front of me.
"Maybe if you tell me what I did, I could understand." Lance said. Looking down at him form the chair I did feel bad for making him feel bad, but I could see his point of view.
"Well let's start with the fact that you said I suck at kissing." I said my voice a bit tight.
"I didn't say it like that." Lance said, ignoring that I continued.
"Then there was that part you said thanks now get out. Then to top it off you threatened me as I was walking out." I said my voice rippling with anger.
"YOU DID WHAT?" All four guys screamed at once.
"I didn't mean a word of it, I swear I didn't. It was just a joke; I never once thought you would take me seriously." Lance said tears falling down his face.
"Most rape victims will tell you that after an ordeal like I have been through they tend to take everything seriously." I said mater-of-factly.
"What did you say?" Josh said turning to me and asking gently.
"Well I guess my dirty little secret is out. Yes I am a fag and a rape victim," I started to get up. "And I will take what is left of my dignity and leave now. I am sure you don't want someone like me around." I added. Josh was still holding my right hand and wouldn't let go. "I need that back Josh." I said. He just shook his head no.
"You can't leave. You said you would let us try to help you." He said. "And don't ever call yourself a fag; you are much more I know it."
"What can you guys do?" I said in a small voice.
"Well for starters we can be your friends if you will let us." Justin said. He moved towards me and even though I wanted to back up I forced my self to just stand there. He put his hand on my left shoulder. Looking down I saw Lance still on the floor at my feet, and he looked up at me.
"And I will do what ever I can to take away the hurt I caused and help if I can in the ones I didn't." He said. I nodded and sat back down. Lance put his hand on my left knee and I seriously thought about kick out that foot, but decided to let him try and make amends.
"Why don't you tell us what you are comfortable telling us about what happened." Josh said sitting on the arm of the chair. I took a deep breath...