Disclaimer:
This story is fiction, totally fake. I don't know NSYNC, or any of the other celebrities that will show up, don't know anything about them, besides the usual fan stuff, I don't know anything about any of the guys sexuality. This is simply a story that I wanted to write. I hope you enjoy it.
Legal Stuff:
This story does contain some adult material, and not necessarily sex. It covers a sensitive subject. Eventually there might be some sex involved and if you are underage you better not being reading this. Or if it is illegal in your area to view this material. If it's not then enjoy and remember authors need feedback to make the story better, so write me.
Chapter Two: Old wounds reopened.
"Eric was my first and only boyfriend, I thought he loved me, I guess I was wrong. We meet through my stepbrother Mark, they were best friends, I soon found out why. We meet when I was fourteen and Eric was seventeen, at first everything was perfect well as perfect as my life could get." I paused, and Josh squeezed my hand. "Justin you did call for breakfast right, my throat is really bothering me." I commented.
"Yeah they said it would be up in a minute." Justin said. Lance jumped up.
"Can I get you some more water Sean?" He asked tentatively.
"Thank you Lance." I said.
"Call me James." He said as he grabbed my glass and went to the mini fridge.
"As you wish." I said. He straightened back up.
"You don't have to if you don't feel comfortable with it." James said.
"That isn't what I meant James." I said. "I was just commenting on if you want to be called that that is what I will do." I added. "Besides I like James better."
"Good I like it too." He came back and handed me my water again. After taking a drink I continued.
"We dated for like a month when it first happened. We got into a fight about something stupid. Eric said something to hurt my feelings. Afterwards he told me he loved me and that he didn't mean it. I forgave him and life went on. A week later it happened again. Only this time he never said he was sorry. After like a month of this he realized I stop listening to what he said when he was being mean, so one day he hit me. Afterwards it was like when he first hurt my feelings he apologized and I forgave him though I don't know why. After that life took a turn for the worst, my life became a living hell. I was a virtual if not literal prisoner." I started to rub my wrists Josh caught it.
"Are you okay?" He asked me.
"Just memories of old wounds and some new ones." I whispered.
"You can stop if you want to." Justin said.
"Do you want me to?" I asked looking at him. His eyes were watery and he looked upset. "If so tell me Justin." I added.
"No I just can't believe someone would do that." Justin said. "Like Josh said tell us only what you want to."
"Where was your family didn't they see this happening to you?" Joey asked. I had just about forgotten him and Chris were even in the room.
"My Stepmother never liked me, I know its sounds clich‚ but it was kind of the Cinderella complex. My father was too occupied with keeping her happy to even notice I was around. My stepbrother knew what was happening but he didn't care either he hated me more then his mother." I answered. "Eventually Eric started demanding I spend the nights with him as he loved me to much to have me be alone. What that really meant was he wanted to keep an eye on me so I wouldn't tell anyone. He would beat me and tell me that I was a bad person that I was trash and no one but he loved me and he was doing it for my own good. I started to believe him, after a while. During the summer he would literally keep me chained up in his room." I heard the guys take a sharp intake of breath.
"Your wrists?" Josh asked. I nodded; I pulled up the sleeve of my black shirt up. As the cuff cleared my wrist the stark white bandages came into view, I noticed it was stained red they would need changing soon. "What happened?" He whispered.
"Eric was very fond of pain." I said as I pulled the sleeve back down. "He used metal cuffs on me so they bit into my arms as I pulled and tried to get away." I added.
"When did you get away?" Chris said.
"Which time?" I asked.
"There was more than once?" He asked.
"I have escaped him four times so far. But he keeps coming back; someday he will find me again." I said in a small voice.
"Not if we can help it." Josh said as everyone agreed. I gave them a weak smile not really believing them but wanting to anyway.
"After each escape there comes the part he finds me again and hurts me worse for hurting him. The third time he caught me was supposed to be the last one. But he came up against something he didn't expect." I added, with smile.
"What?" All five of them asked.
"After escaping for the third time I decided this would be the last time. Once he found me again I knew it was now or never. I lashed out, to this day I don't know what I did, and all I do know is that I nearly killed him. Afterwards my family kicked me out and I have been living on my own for almost year. I moved to Pasadena, and have been hiding form him ever since. Until a week ago." I said. I felt Josh's hand dig into mine; I wanted to pull way because it hurt, but thought that might appear rude.
"What happened?" Josh asked quietly I got the impression he didn't want to hear the answer.
"Eric found me, surprised me, he told me I was the most horrible person alive. He told me how I had hurt him physically and mentally when I ran. He said it was time to pay. I knew he was going to kill me, if he could. The problem was that after I had escaped the last time, almost half a year ago I had been taking self defense classes and such. Unfortunately Eric managed to get the cuffs on me. I knew I was doomed, but fate would intervene on my behalf." I said.
"What do you mean?" James said, he still had his hand resting ever so gently on my right knee, Justin had moved over so he was on my left side sitting on the arm of the chair. Josh was on my right, my right hand still held tightly by him. Chris and Joey were sitting on the floor cross-legged behind James.
"Well James you recall I mentioned earlier that Eric was fond of pain right?" He nodded. "And he liked to use metal wrist cuffs?" Again nod. "He used a piece of leather to hold the two cuffs to each other. One of his favorite things to do was to link them together between the rungs of his headboard. Well after three years of almost constant use the leather was wearing thin. I was able to snap it and break free. He never saw my fist coming. I am pretty sure I broke his nose." I said a grim smile on my face. Then I thought about what I was saying, and my mouth fell open. Looking down I said. "I can't believe I just said that like that. I shouldn't be proud of hurting him." I whispered.
"Yes you should." Josh said squeezing my hand.
"He deserved it" Justin added.
"Regardless of weather or not he deserved it or not. I shouldn't take pleasure in it. That is how he works he takes pleasure form the pain of others. So I do regret what happened, but it was a necessary evil." I said. The guys nodded. "By the way I think he did too." I smiled. Just then there was a knock at the door, Justin, James and Josh all felt me tense up.
"It's okay Sean it's just the room service." Josh said soothingly.
"Right I knew that." I said with a weak smile.
"You are really scared aren't you?" Justin asked me as Joey got up to get the food.
"After everything that has happened to me, I tend to live in fear." I said sadly.
"But that is the wrong way to live; you should live your life in love not fear." James said.
"In a perfect world I could, but the world isn't perfect and I am no where near perfect." I said.
"What do you mean you're no where near perfect?" Josh asked.
"I told you I am a bad person, I am trash, and no one loves me." I said as the tears fell down my face. "I have no friends, no family, nothing; I can't even afford to pay for tea." I said burring my head on my knees, as the tears and sobs ran through me. I felt as though I would never be happy again. Josh squeezed my hand, James rubbed my knee, but then I felt it, Justin's hand slid down across my back. "DON'T TOUCH ME THERE!" I screamed. I felt everyone's hands jerk off me, but Josh's who was still holding on to my hand tight.
"Sean calm down, it's going to be okay. I promise it will." Josh said to me.
"And we know your not a bad person because God helped you get free and to come find us to help you." James said.
"And we all know you're not trash. No one is, though I would like to say Eric is." Justin said.
"And we hope you already think of us as friends." Chris said. "So see you're not as alone as you think you are." He added.
"And as for family, that is where we come in again. We will be your family if you let us." Joey said as he wheeled in the cart of food. I looked up with them with tears in my eyes.
"My family, for better or worse." I said with a smile, the first real one they had scene since I got there.
"Feel better?" Josh asked.
"A bit" I said, "But it will grow and one day I might even be all better." I added.
"That is the spirit. Now let's have some breakfast." Joey said. I pulled away form the guys and went to look at what they had ordered. There was a dazzling array of food there, everything form coffee to a pot of water for tea, milk, juices and mountains of food. I stood by the cart and removed the first lid, under it was French toast.
"James I believe this one is yours." I said holding it up.
"How did you know?" he asked as he took the plate and a glass of orange juice.
"Hello? I am a fan remember. I do know at least a few things." I said with a smile.
"Well then you should be able to tell what the rest of us ordered then." Chris said.
"Actually I can't, James was the only one I knew." I said with a laugh.
"That is okay, the two plates of pancakes are Josh and Justin's along with tea for Josh and I guess you to Sean. Coffee for Justin and Chris. As for me I want some orange juice, like Scoop." Joey said. As he was rattling off the list I was delivering the food to the respective owners. "Chris wanted a waffle, the stake and eggs are mine and I have no idea what Justin ordered for you." Joey said. Justin suddenly choked on his pancakes.
"I am going to go by that reaction that someone forgot about me?" I said raising an eyebrow.
"I did remember the tea." Justin said in his own defense. "Here you can half my pancakes." He said he truly looked upset. I patted his shoulder.
"It's okay I am not much of a breakfast eater anyway. But thanks for the offer. I could probably sell them on eBay for a fortune." I said with a laugh.
"That isn't very funny." He said, I could tell he was kicking himself for not asking about food. I sipped my tea, chamomile with some honey, and sat down on the arm of the chair on Justin's left side.
"Justin, look at me." I said his head rose and his pale blue eyes looked at me. "It's not a big deal; I am not real hungry anyway, but thank you for the offer." I leaned over and lightly kissed his cheek. He blushed, it was so cute. All the guys made cutesy noises and such. "Stop it all of you, or I will have to kiss everyone in this room and as James can tell you I suck at it." I said trying to be serious and failing badly.
"I never said you suck, I just said I have had better." James said.
"Translation, the same thing James." I responded.
"Besides it was nice and I was just playing around, you know that right?" He asked.
"I guess so." I said, frowning for a split second before smiling at him. I suddenly looked up at the ceiling. "Why me?" I asked,
"Why not?" That was the reply from everyone else in the room. I was still sitting on Justin's left side thinking about how many girls would cut off their leg to be were I was, when I noticed Justin was watching me, he looked like he had a question.
"Spit it out, Justin. What do you want to know?" I asked. He swallowed his bite and looked up at me.
"Why didn't you want me to touch your back?" He asked in a small hurt voice.
"Oh Justin I didn't realize I hurt your feelings about that, but I won't answer your question just yet, wait till after breakfast." I said draping an arm over his shoulder. He pulled to his right and I found myself sharing the chair with him.
"I will agree with that only if you eat something, when was the last time you ate?" he asked.
"Already taking to that big brother thing, Justin?" I asked. He just winked at me. "In answer to your question it was, yesterday for lunch." I answered him. Justin just shook his head, and held up a bite of pancakes up for me to eat. "Your not going to let me out of this one are you?" I asked.
"Nope. Now eat." He said. I let Justin feet me breakfast every so often he would get in a bite for himself too. Finally when everyone was done, I started to clean up. "What are you doing?" Justin asked me.
"Cleaning up. What does it look like I am doing?" I said automatically.
"Sean you don't have to do that. They have people who are paid to do it." Joey said.
"I know, it's just I work in fast food and I can't help it." I said. I sat back down, still sharing the chair with Justin.
"What you're not in college or something?" James asked.
"Nope can't afford to go and keep working to pay the rent." I said quietly, "Not all of us are lucky enough to make lots and lots of money doing something they love. Not that I fault you guys for it or anything, never think that. It's just hard to be poor when your new family has so much money." I said.
"Hey you need money you got money now, name a dollar amount. I am sure we can arrange it." Chris said.
"I can't accept you money, none of yours. You guys are doing me more good than anyone has ever done for me, I don't need money, and I can live with being poor." I said. Justin wrapped his arm around me careful of my back.
"Don't worry we will work something out. You will see." He said. "Now as I recall you told me you would answer the question about your back after breakfast, well it's after now." He reminded me.
"Can everyone keep breakfast down is the question?" I responded, everyone said they could so I continued cautiously. "Did anyone happen to notice that the bandages on my wrists have some blood showing through?" I asked.
"I did." Josh said.
"Me too." Said James.
"Well my wrists aren't the only spots on me, my back was pretty much hamburger by the time the EMTs got to me. Before I got loose Eric had taken a bullwhip to my back and ripped it to pieces in a lot of places." A gasp came form everyone in the room. "Once I was loose, sure he was gone, I found out where I was, called 911, let them know what happened where I was and stuff, and then slipped into a coma." I felt Justin hold me tighter, not tight enough to cause pain, but to remind me he was there. "I found out later they EMTs thought I was dead, they said the blood was everywhere. I was rushed to the hospital, where doctors worked feverishly on me. At one point they were convinced I wouldn't make it, for a brief time I proved them right."
"What?" Josh asked me.
"My heart stopped beating for two minutes, the doctors did all they could to get it going again, which they did, obviously right." I said with a smile. "Once they had done all they could all they were waiting on was me to wake up; five days passed, with out a change. Everyone was beginning to wonder if I would ever wake up again. No one really knows what brought me back, but Dani, the nurse on my floor has a theory." I said taking a pause for dramatic effect.
"What?" Joey asked.
"Well she was listening to the radio when there was a reminder that there was a concert coming up, you guys concert to be exact, then they started playing `This I promises you' about half way threw the song she realized someone else was singing along in a very battered voice." I said.
"You woke up to us?" Josh said amazed.
"She said your guys' voices called me back to life." I stated. I saw a tear drop side down Justin's cheek. I reach out and wiped it away with my thumb. "Why are you crying Justin?"
"That has to be the most touching story about our music I have ever heard." He said. "And now you are part of our family too." I hugged him tightly.
"Course I had to fight tooth and nail to get here. The doctors didn't want to release me even for just a half a day." I said.
"Are you sure that was such a good idea then?" Chris said.
"Probably not the best idea I have ever had, but I wasn't going to miss this concert for anything not even that." I said.
"Wow talk about dedication as a fan." Joey said. I glanced over his shoulder to the clock by the bed.
"Speaking of the hospital, I need to get back there. I have to have these bandages changed and looked at again. They are probably starting to wonder what happened to me." I said. "Can someone call a cab or something I should only be gone for like two hours or so?" I said. The guys exchanged a look.
"James call downstairs and have the car ready, I will take him." Josh said. I held my hand up in a stop motion.
"Hold up. You guys probably have a million things to do and I will not have you sitting in a hospital with me." I said.
"Actually we have the day off." Justin said.
"Sean, I don't want you to go anywhere alone, least of all here. Not knowing he is out there somewhere probably still in this city." Josh said.
"Fine you want me to have a babysitter fine, but I get to pick who." I said.
"Fair enough." Josh said. I turned to Justin.
"Will you go with me?" I asked in a small voice.
"I would love to but don't you want Josh to go?" Justin asked me.
"He is afraid of needles and I know they are going to use them, I don't want him to be afraid." I said. Josh laughed a bit.
"I think I could handle it for you." He said. I got up out the chair.
"I don't want you to be uncomfortable okay." I said putting my hand on his cheek. "Please let Justin go with me." I said giving him the puppy dog eyes he used earlier on me.
"Alright, but Justin take one of the bodyguards with you. And keep him safe." Josh said.
"My big brother will keep and eye on me right, Bro?" I said turning to Justin.
"Totally, Bro." He said with that million-dollar smile.
"I guess I will worry about a shower afterwards, since the doctors said I shouldn't get wet. So I am ready when you are Justin." Justin got up out of his chair and went to his room to change. I sat back down in the chair and pulled my knees to my chest. Josh looked over at me.
"Are you okay?" He asked.
"What?"
"Well you're sitting like your upset again."
"No I also sit like this to be comfortable." I said smiling. Josh sat on the arm of the chair and took my hand again.
"Are you sure I can't come with you?" He asked.
"Josh I think one international pop singer is all the hospital can hold." I said with a laugh.
"But I want to be there for you." He said pouting.
"You are being here for me, Josh." I said. Josh looked at me, he eyes were watery, and I suddenly realized he was hurt that I didn't want him to go with me. "Josh please don't be upset, it's not that I don't want you to come, I am just trying to look out for you too." I said, putting my hand on his shoulder.
"I thought we were suppose to look out for you." He said.
"In a family everyone looks out for everyone else, that should include me. I maybe broken Josh but I am not useless." I said.
"That isn't what I meant." He said.
"I know you didn't Josh. Besides we spend all last night together, and half the morning, it's time to get to know the rest of the guys." I said with a smile.
"But I don't really know all that much about you." He said.
"Josh we have all the time in the world, I will always be here." I said. "Please let me spend some time with my new big brother." I whispered to him.
"What about the rest of us we want to be your brothers too." Josh said, and everyone agreed.
"I know and I hope to spend time with each of you eventually. But right now I want to start with Justin, I feel so bad for yelling at him about my back. He wasn't trying to hurt me. I want to make sure he knows I am not mad about it, and ask his forgiveness, about it." I said in a small voice.
"He will forgive you, I know he will. And I know he doesn't think you're mad about it." Josh said reassuringly. "But I see your point, okay Justin can take you, but you better be careful and come back safe." Josh said totally serious.
"Yes Dad." I said, the guys laughed. I kissed his cheek like I had Justin's. "I will be fine, I have a big brother who will protect me and a bodyguard to protect us both, and all we are doing is going to the hospital. We will be fine." I said. Looking around I saw Chris trying to stifle a yawn. "Why don't you guys get some more sleep some of you could use a bit more beauty sleep." I said with a laugh.
"And who would that be?" Josh asked me, his eyebrow arched.
"Not you Josh you're already perfect sleep couldn't help you, but those two really need it." I said pointing to Joey and Chris.
"Hey." Chris said.
"No fair picking on the sleepy ones." Joey said.
"What about me?" James said.
"Well you're cute and all, but you need to go lay down too." I said. "By the pool and get some sun. Gees you live in Florida and you look like you live in Maine where the sun comes out for two minutes in the middle of summer." I said laughing as his mouth fell open. Chris, Joey, and Josh all joined me. James tried to look hurt but gave it up and laughed too. Justin came in to announce he was ready and saw us all laughing.
"What is so funny?" He asked.
"What about him?" Joey managed to get out between laughs. I cut off my laughter and looked at Justin. He looked great; he had on jeans and a sleeveless tee on. He had done something to his hair, which reminded me I needed to fix my own mess of hair.
"Perfect." Was all I said. Justin blushed a deep red color, pulling away from Josh I said. "I will be ready in just a sec, Justin I forgot about my hair." I went into the bathroom and did my hair barrowing some hair stuff from Josh's collection. As I stepped back out the guys were laughing again, Justin had yet to loose that blush and looked like he was going to hyperventilate, turning to Josh I said. "I hope you don't mind I borrowed some gel."
"Not a prob." He said.
"So what is so funny?" I asked.
"We were telling Justin about what you said." James got out. Justin looked at me.
"So you think I am perfect do you?" He said arching an eyebrow.
"Don't let it go to you're head ego boy, besides there is still one prettier than you." I said in a voice like the magic mirror on Snow White even though my face was all red.
"Who?" He said. "Who is prettier than I?" He asked.
"Him." I said pointing right at Josh. Josh's face went all red.
"Well so long as it's someone in this room I can live with that, besides later I will have my huntsmen take him into the woods and bring me back his heart." Justin said with a laugh.
"Don't you dare." I said putting myself in front of Josh with my arms held out. "You are not to hurt one hair on his head." Trying to act serious. Justin bowed low.
"As you wish. You know your wish is my command." Justin said.
"Come on, Dani is probably thinking I am not going to show up at all." I said. I slipped my arm into his and started pulling him to the door. Justin straightened his arm and let mine slip form his. I looked at him questioningly; Josh saw the look of hurt on my face.
"Remember Sean, none of us that are gay are out to the public, we can't be seen hanging on to a guy or have one hang on to us." He said trying to help me understand. I nodded.
"Yeah I forgot about that. Sorry Justin." I said in a small voice. I felt so dumb how could I forget these guys were always in the spot light, I turned to go out the door. As I pulled open the door I felt an arm go over my shoulders, I looked up and it was Justin. "Justin what are you doing?" I asked.
"Showing the world I support my little brother, and if they have a problem with that oh well." He said pulling me to him for a tight hug.
"Thanks Justin." I said. "Well we're off to the hospital we will be back as soon as we can." I added.