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My Guardian Angel
I've always known that I was gay. As far back as I can remember I've always had a deep appreciation for masculinity that excites me in ways that nothing else does. I've also always craved attention from masculine men. I'm pretty sure this is due to my own father's lack of interest in me or anything to do with me. My Mother was murdered before I was born, and up until I was 5 years old I lived with my Grandma. Sadly, she passed the summer of my 13th year from breast cancer. When she died, I moved in with my Dad. He lived in what he always referred to as a "modular home," but I always thought of it as a trailer. It was certainly in a trailer park, and my father most certainly fit the stereotype of being white trash. He was even an alcoholic and would easily polish off a half gallon of vodka in a single night.
Moving from my Grandma's house to his house was like culture shock to me because I had never seen anyone live the way that my Dad did. There were empty vodka bottles everywhere, packages from frozen microwave dinners, clothes, and all kinds of crap all throughout the entire trailer. He didn't take care of himself, or his house at all. The trailer park we lived in was pretty low income. There were Whites, Blacks, Hispanics, and Asian people living here. The trailer next to us had different people coming and going constantly, and sometimes, their visitors would park in my Dad's driveway. He would get so mad, but never said anything to the neighbors about it. Instead, he would walk in the door fuming mad, throw shit around and yell at me in-between sips of his drink until he'd pass out. My Grandma had raised me to be neat and clean though, so I usually kept busy by cleaning the house. I kind of fell in to a routine of going to school, coming home and cleaning up, doing my homework, and then cook dinner for myself and my Dad. He never once thanked me for any of it.
My Dad had made it pretty clear that he didn't want me around and that my presence in his life was an annoying disturbance to say the least. I learned early on that it was best to just stay out of his way at all costs to avoid any kind of confrontation. The only time I remember him being nice to me, was the day that we went to apply for food assistance. We went to McDonald's right beforehand and ate burgers and fries. My Dad then bought me a shake and told me that I have to be on my best behavior today. With a smile on his face, while sitting inside McDonald's he said,
"Now you listen to me, you little faggot. After today, I'm not spending any more money on you. We're going to see my caseworker to see if I can get any more food stamps and cash assistance since you're living in my house. I'll be damned if I spend a dime of the money I got from my Momma's insurance policy on you, and I ain't spending my disability check on you either. So you better be on your best behavior and make that lady thinks that I give a shit about you and that everything is just fine at home, or else I'll find someone to pimp your girly ass out on a downtown street corner. So really Edward, it's simple...if you somehow fuck up me getting extra money to feed your faggot girly little self, then I'm gonna beat your ass every night you come home without money in your pocket."
Hearing him say all this completely deflated the good mood I had from getting to go to McDonalds. Now all I felt was sadness at missing my Grandma and fear and anger towards my father. I was terrified of him, and could feel my heart pounding in my chest during the entire appointment. Everything went alright I guess because the lady told him he should start receiving close to 300 a month in just food stamps. Then the lady said that he can't apply for cash assistance without losing his disability. He started to argue with her, but when she said that the only way to get cash assistance is to enroll in mandatory classes to teach him how to find gainful employment he shut right up. Shortly after the lady announced we were approved and when to expect the card in the mail, and we were out the door and back into his beat up 1992 chevy cavalier. I didn't say a word the entire drive home.
In fact, I didn't really speak to my father at all. He always spoke to me, and the things he said made me not want to speak to him, out of fear of saying something wrong. He had threatened to hit me a few times for not answering him when he'd ask a direct question, but didn't hit me until a about a year after I moved in. I had built up quite a bit of resentment towards him by that point. He was drunk as usual and decided that it wasn't normal for me to not have any friends to go off and hang out with. Then he started telling me how stupid I am and how it's no wonder I don't have friends because I'm such a fuck up. I sat there half-listening to him while thinking of a way to shorten the length of the conversation when he suddenly crossed a line in my brain that he had never crossed up until that point. He was ranting and raving, working up a sweat while bitching about how much better his life would've been if I hadn't been born, and how the only reason I was alive was because his "bitch" of a mother (my grandmother) said she would raise me. Hearing him so blatantly insult the memory of my Grandmother caused the wiring in my brain to short out, and I temporarily forgot who and what I was dealing with, because I opened my mouth and spoke.
"Well I guess you really are a son-of-a-bitch, seeing as you're her son."
My Dad's eyes were wide with complete anger and shock written all over his face. The veins in his neck started pulsing and he looked as though he was having a heart attack for a moment, but after breathing fast and deep for 4 or 5 breaths he started screaming.
"IM GONNA BEAT THE DOG SHIT OUT OF YOU YOU LITTLE GIRLY QUEER BOY..."
Naturally, I tried to turn and run towards the door but wasn't quick enough. The last thing I remember is feeling my shirt tighten around my body as my Dad grabbed my left sleeve and pulled. He punched me in the back of my head then let go of my sleeve and I fell to the ground then hit my head again. I was knocked out. I woke up a couple minutes later and my Dad had made his way back to his seat and was sipping his drink. He saw me trying to get up, then screamed at me, "GET OUT! GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY HOUSE. LEAVE AND NEVER COME BACK YOU LITTLE FAGGOT GIRL ."
My head was splitting in pain, and I was kind of in shock at what had taken place. He'd never hit me before that. I never understood why he hated me so much. I didn't act gay, or dress gay although looking back, I suppose I was considered to be a pretty boy. In a daze I stood up, and turned to the door to the trailer and walked outside, down the steps and sat on a 5 gallon bucket that was sitting on the edge of the lot. The lot wasn't very big at all. It was just big enough to fit my dad's single-wide trailer, and small patch of grass and a gravel driveway. All the lots on this side of the trailer park were pretty close to one another. I noticed two black men standing on the porch/deck of the trailer next door and they were both looking over at me intently. I made eye contact with one of them, but quickly averted my gaze to the ground.
"You cool lil homie?" I heard one of them say in a deep baritone voice that even from across the driveway and small patch of yard, took me by surprise. I looked up and in their direction, unsure if they were talking to me, or just loud enough to where I could hear them. Sure enough, they were both looking in my direction. I nodded back at them and noticed that one of the men held his hand out to the other to shake it, and was about to leave. "Aight Rome get at me later," he said as he walked away, leaving who I would assume is "Rome" looking back in my direction. I had seen him a couple times as I was leaving to school or coming home from school, but we had never spoken before today. He was a type of man that I had never been in direct contact with before. He was an alpha male. You could tell just from looking at him. He had a strong, solid build and a milk chocolate complexion, that was just light enough to make out the tattoos on his forearms. He was wearing a black t-shirt and black hat, and had a neatly trimmed, but full goatee and beard that connected to his sideburns, and he was wearing a gold chain. I could feel him staring at me, even as I now sat staring at the ground.
Suddenly, I heard the window behind me opening followed by my Dad's raised voice, "I told you to fucking leave God damnit. Go find somewhere else to live so I don't have to fucking look at you anymore. I hate you...I FUCKING HATE YOU EDWARD!!! GET THE FUCK OFF MY PROPERTY FAGGOT," he screamed through the window at me. This was over the top, even for him. I suddenly felt completely humiliated. Here I was, 14, almost 15 years old and now I was going to be living on the streets. I could feel the tone in my Dad's voice shake me to my core. He meant what he was saying and I could feel it. I missed my Grandmother so bad at that moment that I couldn't help but cry. I stood up off the bucket I had been sitting on and started walking down the street, sobbing, with no destination in mind. I got to the end of the street when a black charger pulled up next to me. As the window rolled down, I could see that it was Rome...my Dad's neighbor.
"Get in," he said in his calm, deep and commanding voice, while nodding his head toward the door handle. It wasn't a question, but I didn't feel threatened either, but still I hesitated. I stared at him with my tear stained face and the moment that we locked eyes, I felt a chill run down my spine. I wouldn't say it was a chill of sexual excitement, but more that I felt like I could hear him more clearly than I ever heard anyone before. I broke eye contact, considered the fact that I had nowhere else to go, and got in the car.
We drove for a few minutes in silence, before Rome finally spoke, "Was that your Daddy that was yelling at you?" he said in his bass filled voice. Sitting next to him in the passenger seat of his car, I was close enough now to feel the vibrations from his voice in my own chest, and I instantly became aware of it. It seemed strangely comforting and soothing in an animalistic way.
"Yeah," I replied in my soft boyish voice before taking a deep breath. As I inhaled, I noticed a new smell that I'd never encountered before. The smell of a Black Alpha Male sitting next to you is it's own thing, no matter what brand of cologne you slap on it. I could smell a hint of cologne, but I could also smell a sweetness in the air around him that seemed to light up my senses and make me even more aware of this mysterious, and curious about my circumstances, man.
"Did he do that to your head?" he asked as he glanced over at me for a second, then up at my forehead, indicating the spot where I hit my head on the ground, after my Dad punched me in the back of my head. I hadn't seen my reflection up to that point, so I reached up and lowered the sun visor, and opened the panel on it to expose the mirror. The whole top right side of my face was a deep shade of red, and was beginning to turn purple. Just seeing it made my head throb even more than it already was. I slapped the visor and mirror closed all at once and fell back into my seat, looking out the passenger window. Everything between my father and I seemed to hit me all at once and I once again started to cry. I was trying so hard not to let it show, but the more I tried to suppress it, the more it swelled inside my chest, and eventually, I became inconsolable and was sobbing uncontrollably. Visions of my father yelling in my face were flashing through my mind, and replaying the events of earlier in the evening felt like torture to me in this moment. I felt unwanted, and discarded, and felt as though God was punishing me but I couldn't figure out why. I got myself up for school every day, got good grades, cleaned the house, cooked, and none of it mattered. He still hated me. It made me miss my Grandma so much, that I couldn't stop crying. I had worked myself up pretty good to the point where I was hyperventilating as Rome pulled into the driveway of a small, one level house with a nice sized front yard. There was a Black and Brown German Shepard chained to the porch that sat handsomely looking at us with his ears perked up.
"Come on," he said to me as he opened the door and got out of the car. I followed suit and got out of the car, and followed him to the front door. As we approached the dog, Rome said, "Sup Chico," and the dog barked a single solitary bark, then laid down. I followed him through the front door and into the living room of this house.
"Have a seat," he said, gesturing with his left hand towards the couch, as he walked out of the room. I could hear him opening some cabinets like he was looking for something. I looked around the room and took notice at the nice furniture that was in this house. There was a flat screen tv mounted on the wall, and he had a nice big L-shaped couch that could easily fit 8 people, and a really cool looking glass coffee table. Underneath the wall-mounted flat screen was a shelf that held some gamining systems, games, and Blu-ray movies. There was some nice artwork hanging on the walls too. It was a nice place compared to my Dad's hell hole.
After a few minutes, Rome reappeared with a frozen bag of peas and an ace-bandage. He wrapped the peas on the swollen part of my head and shined a flashlight into my eyes, then checked my ears. He was really close to me. I could smell his scent again, only now it was stronger. I couldn't help but stare at his muscular arms as he wrapped the bandage around my head. The muscles seemed to ripple with his every movement. I started feeling dizzy and really emotional. This stranger of man was showing concern for me, and caring for me in a very quiet and reserved masculine way that was taking my breath away, and confusing me at the same time. He slowly wrapped the rest of the bandage around my head, careful not to put pressure on the swollen areas, and as he was doing so, more tears began spilling from my eyes. I didn't make a sound, or show any expression on my face, but the tears kept rolling down my cheeks. I was getting attention from a man, affectionate attention that suggested he cared about me. It was overwhelming.
Suddenly Rome raised his hands to my cheeks and wiped my tears away while staring me in the eyes. "Where'd you come from?" he asked.
"What do you mean?" I asked, unsure of what he meant.
"I mean your Daddy has been living over there for a long time, but I've only seen you around lately," he said in his deep calm voice.
"He never wanted me," I said. "My Grandmother raised me, but she passed away from cancer last ye..." I choked. Just bringing her up made the pain in my chest come back, but I suppressed it. "Last year," I finished. "My Mom was murdered before I could walk, so I moved in with my only living relative, my father."
"How do you know he never wanted you?" Rome asked me, wiping the last of my tears away, withdrawing his hands from my face and leaned back in his chair, all the while never breaking eye contact.
"Well, I didn't even meet him until I was 7 years old, and that was at my Aunts funeral. And I didn't see him again until my Grandma died and the moment I did, he told me he wished I was 18 already so I didn't have to interrupt his life," I said while trying not to look too hard at this ruggedly handsome black man. He was clearly a thug, judging by the way he dressed, but his actions and words would suggest he was so much more than just a simple street thug. I suppose looking back, maybe back then I didn't really know what a street thug was, but if he WAS one then maybe they weren't the lazy, bitchy, freeloading bastards that my father made them out to be. He used the "N" word on more than a few occasions. Sometimes he would use it repeatedly when one of their visitors parked in my Dad's parking spot. I may have mentioned before already, but my Dad hated it when the neighbors visitors would park in his spot. It would drive him up the wall, and he would stay up there for hours on end with his alcohol induced rage that he would usually purge himself of by yelling and bitching at me about how worthless I was to him, or how inconvenient my presence in his house was for him.
"He actually said that to you?" Rome asked, looking at me as though he didn't believe me.
"Yeah, I said." It suddenly dawned on me that he never even asked me what my name was. Then that led me into wondering why I even got in the car with him. I didn't know him, hell for all I know I could be in a really bad situation where I was about to be murdered. The thought sent a chill down my spine. I couldn't face possibly pissing this muscular and dangerous looking stranger off, so I told myself to be careful about how I speak to this beast of a man.
We sat in silence for about a full minute, with Rome looking at me as though he was sizing me up. Finally he broke the silence.
"Aight look, I usually don't get involved in other peoples shit," he said, suddenly stopping to think about what he was saying. There was a long pause of silence.
"Okay?" I said, wondering what he was going to say.
"But I ain't ever seen you around there before, and something told me not to let you go wandering off like you was bout to do," he said. "Since your Dad didn't sound like you aloud to go back to his trailer, then you can stay here...You in school?" he asked.
"Yeah," I said, relieved that I had a place to stay, but afraid of being in this completely foreign environment.
"Do you like school?" he asked.
"It's alright. I get good grades. Being at school meant I was away from my Dad....and..."
"Don't call him that," Rome said with a firm tone in his voice, interrupting my train of thought. I looked at him with a questioning facial expression.
"That man don't sound like he's earned that title at all, so when you around me, and staying in my house, you will call that man by his name like he deserves," Rome said.
"Yes sir," I said, Rome had a funny look in his eye for a moment. I didn't know any better at the time, but he was looking at me with love in his eyes. An innocent love for a fatherless child, that didn't deserve to be unwanted.
"I know you haven't asked, but my name is Eddie. It's actually Edward, but my Grandma always called me Eddie," I said, trying to establish myself to him. I wanted to know him, and I wanted him to know me. The feeling I got from him so far, was one of protection and care, and I was really soaking that feeling in as much as I could. I'd been deprived of it for over a year since my grandma died, and I missed feeling the way she made me feel. Now here was this rough looking, almost overly muscular black man, treating me with 100 times more respect than my father ever showed me. Something about him was beginning to make my face hot and my heart speed up. I can't explain it, other than that I was more aware of his presence than I had ever been of anyone I'd ever met, white or black.
"It's nice to meet you E," he said smiling. "My name is Roman, but people call me Rome. My biological father and me never got along either. He put me out when I was young too, but I had an older brother to look up to, and my Aunt and Uncle took me in. I don't know what you going through, but I've been in a similar situation. I got my girl now, but we ain't got any kids. She supposed to be here soon," he said just as the door opened.
A very pretty, slightly thick white girl walked in, took one look at me and said, "Nigga why the fuck you got this broke-down crying-assed white boy in yo house?"
Suddenly Roman jumped up out of his seat. The motion sent the chair he was sitting on flying back against the wall with a loud crashing sound. His fists were clenched and his muscular chest bulged out as he flexed his muscles in anger. He didn't speak a word, but he didn't need to. The tension in the room was overly thick. The door opened again, and another very pretty white girl walked in, stopped...looked at me, then at Rome, and finally at the first girl. She quickly felt the ever-present tension the room currently held.
"So what exactly did I just walk in to?" The second girl said with a mischievous smile on her face.
"What up Bree," Rome said to the second girl, "Tonya just walked in to my house, insulted me and my guest, and was hollerin loud like she was pretending like she was in charge of something." He continued, in a very low calm voice.
Tonya (the first girl), just stood there in a daze with a glossy look in her eye, like she was afraid to say anything. I thought I saw her start to lose her balance for a second. Bree was looking at Tonya with her left eyebrow raised and said, "Girl what you go and do that for? That shit has you like that?," Bree said suddenly raising her eyebrows as if she said something she shouldn't have.
"What shit has ya'll like what?," Rome said as he grasped his hands behind his back as he cocked his head to the side, never taking his eyes off of Tonya. Standing next to him and looking at him from the side, I was astonished by how far his chest stuck out from his chin. You could see the definition of his chest through his shirt, and his arms coming out of the sleeves had them stretched and looked massive. His face, while clean cut, wasn't what you would call pretty, but more masculine. He was a rock solid man through and through.
Tonya finally ceased an opportunity to speak, "Me and Bree went and chilled with Skim for a lil bit, then stopped at the store and grabbed us a bottle of Hennessey to celebrate me being off probation."
"Aight cool," Rome said. "Check me out," he began as he slowly walked towards Tonya, "You must not have taken me seriously when I told you that if you did that "Hair-on" (slang for heroin) shit again, then we was through. I also wasn't lying to you when I said that I know about everything that goes on in my hood. I also know that the only reason you fucks with Skim is because he sells that shit. Now, before ya'll make any more mistakes I want you to really think about how close ya'll are to being thrown out my fuckin door. Tonya, I ain't fuckin wit no drug addict. It's time for you to get the FUCK OUT MY FUCKIN HOUSE...NOW!"
Tonya walked past Bree and out the door. You could hear her start to cry as she left.
Bree stood there looking at Rome for a moment then said, "I knew the second she walked out of Skim's house that they got high together. She kept denying it, but then for her to walk up in here and say some shit like that...I knew what was up."
"You cool Bree, me and you never had no beef. You're family, and I appreciate you letting me know what was going on by saying what you said," Rome replied as his fists unclenched and pulled the chair away from the wall and sat back in it.
Bree walked away from the door over to me and said, "Hi sweetie, my name is Bree. What's your name?" she asked.
"Edward," I said. She seemed nice. Her energy and attitude seemed really laid back and kind. She turned and looked at Rome, who was watching her examine me.
"Eddie lives next door to the trailer, and earlier tonight his Dad got drunk, hit him, and kicked him to the curb. So I told the lil dude he could chill here as long as he stays in school," Rome explained.
"Oh okay. See me and Roman used to date back in high school, but we decided that we are better off as friends," Bree said to me. "But any friend of Roman's is a friend of mine," she stated as she winked at me.
"Oh shit Bree, I need you to take him to get some clothes and shit. I don't think he's gonna be going back to his Dad's house anytime soon, and he's gonna need shit to wear to school and shit," he said as he reached into his pocket. He pulled out a big wad of 100 dollar bills. He counted out 5 of them and handed them to Bree.
"That's for whatever he needs for school and shit," he said as he counted out 2 more bills, again handing them to Bree, "and that's for you.
"Thank you Daddy," she said in a sarcastic tone, smiling.
"I thought you said he was your ex boyfriend," I said as quickly as the thought popped into my head.
"He is. I just call him that cause he's always taking care of everyone, like he's everyone's Dad," she said smiling back at Rome. He winked back at her and glanced in my direction. He noticed me looking at his wad of cash and took 2 more bills out and handed them to me, "and that's for you to get whatever you feel like getting," he said as he put his money back in his pocket.
"Aight, I'll be by tomorrow to pick you up and take you shopping E," Bree said as she walked over, kissed me on the cheek and gave me a quick hug. Then she walked over to the door and as she was leaving said, "Now let me get this bitch off your front lawn before her high ass walks in the street and gets hit by a car."
The whole time all of this was going on, I couldn't take my eyes off of Rome. Watching him get worked up like that had a profound effect on me. He was treating me with respect, and making me feel like I deserved respect. That was a huge change from being around my Dad all the time. It made it all the more intense coming from someone as ruggedly masculine as Rome was. He seemed really smart, could speak well when he wanted to, and was just perfectly muscled. He wasn't overly muscular at all, but he was defined in all the right places. I couldn't help but to keep glancing at his body as I watched him walk over to the front door and close it. He turned back at me with a disappointed look on his face and said, "I'm real sorry about that. I had a feeling she was doing heroin, but she was hiding it cause I already told her if I found out she was doin that shit then we were through. I can't trust no drug-addict bitch, " he said as he watched out the window at the two girls as they walked across the lawn and off down the street. "Are you hungry?," he asked as he turned to look at me.
I was sitting on the couch with my hand on the bag of peas that he had bandaged to my head, admiring his body and taking notice of every contour of every visible muscle that I could find. I quickly averted my gaze after noticing that he had turned his head in my direction, and we locked on to one another's stare.
"How's your head feeling?" he asked.
"Better, my headaches gone and I think the peas are working, although I think they are starting to thaw," I said as I felt the bag of peas.
"Let me see," Rome said as he walked over to me and untied the bag of peas. He was very gentle in removing the bandage, all the while he was staring right at me. Having him tower over me like that, and taking care of me again gave me this overwhelming feeling in my chest and deep down in my soul. I slowly let my eyes trail up his body and to his face. He had a gentle smile on his face as he crouched down to where he was eye-level with me.
"It seems like the swelling has gone down a lil bit. So how about I fix us something to eat, then we will put it back on for a lil bit before you go to bed," he said as he stood up and left the room with the melting bag of peas. I couldn't help but wonder what made him want to take me in like this, without knowing really anything about me. It was confusing to me.
By the time he came back into the room, my paranoia had me questioning how long this nice guy routine would last before he ended up hating me like my father did. My Dad spent a lot of time explaining to me all the reasons why he didn't want me, and making me feel as though I was worthless. He really had done quite a good job of fucking up my self-esteem, confidence, and self-image. I couldn't help but get the sinking feeling that it would only be a matter of time before I ended up in foster care, or some juvenile detention center.
Rome walked back in to the room and asked if I was allergic to peanuts or cashews. I told him I wasn't, then he asked me to come sit in the kitchen with him and talk to him while he cooked dinner. We both headed into the kitchen, which was a nice sized kitchen that was very clean, and had an island with barstools along one side. I sat down on a bar stool and watched as he made Cashew Chicken with peanut sauce. It was my first time having cooking other than my own since my grandma passed, and it was the best chicken I've ever had in my life. This man could cook.
As I sat there next to him eating, I kept replaying everything in my head that had happened between my father and I in recent weeks, and was unknowingly working myself up into a mild anxiety attack. I couldn't help but start crying. I set down my fork, and apologized to Rome and got up and walked to the front door. I put my hand on the handle to open it, just as Rome placed his hand on the door holding it closed.
"Where are you tryin to go?" he asked with his eyebrows scrunched together, looking confused.
"I just wanted to sit outside for a few minutes," I said trying to hold back my tears. The anxious feeling was building up inside me, and I knew I was going to break down into a sobbing mess here any second.
"Well, here's the thing. If you have somewhere you need to go then I'll drive you there. You ain't walking on these streets this late at night by yourself baby boy...not on my watch, and secondly, I'd rather not provide any neighbors or bums walking by, the opportunity to have any insight into what's going on inside my house," he finished.
Once again, there it was. This unwarranted and seemingly blind compassion that this rough and ruggedly handsome, overly masculine man seemed to have for me was feeding my soul with love. I missed that feeling so much, and here it was being offered to me from what I thought was the most unlikely person. I couldn't take it any longer and broke down, right there. I fell to my knees as my face became flooded with tears. "Thhhh thhhhh thhannkkk you," I managed to say inbetween gasps of breath.
Suddenly I felt the heat of Rome's body on my back as he scooped me up into his arms and turned me around to where I was facing him. He was holding me up off the ground with his hands under my armpits, and he was holding me like I was a stuffed doll.
"Listen E, I know you don't know me real well yet, but you will. Do you want to stay with me?" he asked.
I nodded my head instantly, while worrying that he would say that I'd have to find somewhere else to go after a couple days, but he didn't say that.
"You on my team now E, and that means that you can stay here with me as long as you need to. You gotta get good grades in school, and if you living in my house, then you gonna live by my rules. But the bad shit is over now okay? That guy won't be bothering you anymore alright?" he said looking in to my eyes. Seeing his incredibly handsome face, and the concerned look he had on it hurt my heart in a way that I can't even explain. I started crying again (yeah I was kind of a cry baby that day), and he pulled me into his chest and hugged me.
It was like a switch was flipped, and I instantly stopped crying as I snuggled into his strong muscular chest. His smell was so unique to my senses and made me feel completely safe. I breathed it in through my nose and took a deep breath, then exhaled as I slid my hands up his arms, feeling the contours of muscle there. Rome was about to set me down until I said, "No...please, will you just hold me for a few minutes." He didn't say anything, but just walked over to the couch and sat down, then cradled me in his arms like a baby. He started rocking me back and forth gently and smiled down at me and said, "Tell me whats wrong E."
"My Dad never wanted me, not ever. He's never been nice to me, not even for a minute except the day we went and applied for assistance. You've never met me before today and you've been more of a Dad to me in just one day than my real father has been my whole life...I wish you were my Dad," I confessed as a few more tears fell from my face.
"Aight look E...I'm gonna let you in on a little secret okay," he said as he looked at me like he really was about to reveal something to me. "My Dad was in the military and he was always mean, so seeing you go through what you going through reminded me of myself. He didn't exactly put me out, as much as he stopped coming home. After a couple weeks the lights got cut off, and I called my Auntie. She came and got me and my older brother and we stayed there from then on. I remember wishing I had a good Dad too, but I never did and it made me wreckless and stupid. I had my Auntie and Uncle, but they didn't know how to raise someone like me. My brother was older than me, so he didn't really stay there long before he moved in with his friends. I'm not like the rest of these dudes around here. I consider myself to be a King in these streets, and Kings tend to get what they want. While I will never be your father...I can be your Dad, and look after you if you that's what you want. For some reason I do wanna help you, and be there for you and teach you everything I know," he said staring me straight in my eyes.
I was looking back at him completely surprised, as more tears began welling in my face. I wiped my face against his shirt and shifted my weight. I could feel a jagged piece of metal digging into my lower back, and adjusted squirmed around to where I was comfortable.
"Do you want up?" Rome asked me.
"Not yet, please?" I said, my eyes pleading with his to let me continue laying in his arms.
"You're really muscular," I said, trying to make it sound as casual as possible, while staring at his big muscular chest right in front of my face. He suddenly flexed his pecs which made them dance in front of my gaze. Seeing him do that, and feeling his warmth had my lil boy dick stiffening. I looked up to his face and saw him smiling down at me.
"You like that?" he asked as he once again flexed his pecs. I nodded and smiled back at him, and without thinking about it I placed my hand on his chest and said, "do it again." He flexed them for a third time, and this time I could feel his muscle go from soft and squishy to rock solid repeatedly, four maybe five times. When he stopped flexing, I slid my hand across his chest, and bit my lip. His facial expression changed as if he was thinking about something.
"Do you like how I feel?" he asked me, in a slightly deeper tone than he previously had.
I hugged myself against him again and just barely whispered, "Yeah." I noticed his nipples began hardening and you could see them through his shirt. I rubbed my hand over it lightly and Rome softly grunted. I was becoming intoxicated with all the possible things I wanted to do to him. He had lit a fire inside of me, with him caring about me, and telling me he wanted to be my Dad...and making me feel protected from the world. I'd never been with another guy before this point, but everything that was happening felt totally natural.
"Is it okay that I touch your chest?" I belatedly asked, and he suddenly set me on the couch next to him. I felt like we had reached the boundary of how far things would go when suddenly Rome reached down and pulled his tank top up and over his head, exposing his very well defined pec muscles and his 8 pack washboard abs. He had a happy trail starting just below his belly button, that ran down into the waistline of his shorts. He leaned back on the couch and said, "Why don't you take this as an opportunity to see what a real man looks like up close. Go ahead, I ain't gonna bite you, and I ain't gonna stop you. This is for you to learn about what a King looks like," he said. I did notice a lump in his shorts now which I'd noticed before as well when the two girls were here, but it wasn't nearly as big as it was now. I reached my small pale hand out and placed it back on his chest. It felt different with no fabric between my hand and his chest. His skin was flawless and felt like silk. I massaged his pecs for a few moments, all the while Rome never took his eyes off of mine, even as I was gazing down at his body. He was studying me, as I studied him.
"You love touching my body don't you," he said, but the way he said it made it sound like more of a statement than a question. His voice became a little huskier when he said, "You've been needing me haven't you. You've been needing me all these years son, and I'm here for you now. I want you. I want to be your Daddy. I get what I want too E, so it's important for you to understand that you're mine now. That means everything you do will be monitored by me, and all the decisions you make outside this house have to go through me. Do you understand me?" he asked in a very calm but husky voice.
"Yes sir," I replied, still rubbing his chest slowly working my way down to his abs. I had to touch his abs. They were like a drug that I had to have. I needed to feel them.
"I'm not your Sir E. We talked about this already," he said smiling down at me. His smile was like a drug to me too. Everything about him was intensly arousing and exicting. Even his masculine dominant demeanor was affecting me now in ways I didn't know I could be affected. I felt more like a lost little girl than I did a boy, but for some reason, it was very incredibly intoxicating feeling that way with him.
"I'm sorry Rome," I said trying to recover from calling him, "Sir."
"Nah, I don't wanna hear you call me Rome either. Everyone calls me Rome, and you ain't everybody. You're mine. So what else you got?" he asked still smiling at me.
"Yes Daddy," I said, which felt really silly to say to him, but based on our conversation I assumed that's what he wanted to hear.
"Yeah, I like that E. You keep on calling me that. Cause Imma be your Daddy now...Imma be all the Daddy you need and then some," he said.
The visual and physical stimulation of touching this bare-chested black God was heaven for me, and my dick was SO hard at this point, and it was impossible to hide my boner poking out from my own shorts. It was in plain view, and I know he must've seen it, but he didn't say anything about it. We sat there for a good 10-15 minutes with me massaging his chest and shoulders as I lay across his lap looking up at him. He inspected my bruised head for a little while too, having my turn my head in different directions so he could see the affected areas better.
"Aight look, Bree's gonna come and take you to go shoppin tomorrow and I gotta go handle some business with your father," he said casually without concern. The thought scared me. It seemed like a bad idea to me.
"What are you going to do?," I asked with a scared look on my face. "You don't have to go over there. You could just stay here with me and we could play your game systems or something," I said with a worried tone in my voice. Rome chuckled at that.
"You like Xbox One?" he asked.
"I've never played one before, but I really liked the Xbox 360. My Grandma bought me one, but my Dad sold a lot of my stuff because we didn't have room for it at his trailer," I said.
"He kept the money?," Rome asked. He had an irritated look on his face.
"Yeah, the night he sold it he was out really late, then came home really drunk and yelled at me to take the garbage out. It wasn't even garbage night, but I didn't argue with him and grabbed the half filled garbage bag out of the kitchen and walked outside to put it in the can. Once I was out the door, my Daa..." I said but was interrupted by a playful swat on the back of my thigh, just below my butt.
"Ow," I said with a confused look on my face.
"I told you not to call him that," Rome said with a somewhat serious look on his face.
"Sorry...so yeah...once I was out the door, my father closed and locked the door and told me to stay gone for the rest of the night. I grabbed the plastic lounge chair from off the porch and carried it behind the trailer to where I was hidden from view, laid back on it, and fell asleep looking up at the stars. There were a lot of mosquitos out that night too. The next morning I was covered in mosquito bites, some of them I scratched so much that I started bleeding," I said, remembering how mad I was at my Dad every time I swatted one of the mosquitos on me that night.
"Earlier you said the only time your Dad was nice to you was when you went to go get food stamps," Rome stated. "How long ago was that?" he asked.
"That was about two weeks ago," I answered. "He took me to McDonalds and let me pick what meal I wanted. Then he got me a shake too. Then he told me that I better make the caseworker think that everything's cool so we could get food benefits, because he wasn't spending any more money on me," I said remembering the pain that he caused me to feel. "He always said really mean things to me, all the time. He said really mean things to me EVERY time he spoke to me," I said feeling crushed.
"Of all the things he would say to you, what bothered you the most?" Rome asked.
"Faggot," I said flatly. "He'd call me that all the time, and one time he told me that faggots were just like cancer, and that I'm probably the reason my Grandma got cancer. Then he laughed at me and told me that I'm the reason my Grandma was dead."
"Do you know what a faggot really is?" Rome asked me.
"Yeah, I'm not stupid. A faggot is a boy who acts like a girl," I said confident in my knowledge on the subject.
"Naw lil dude, that ain't what a faggot is," he said as he lifted me off of him and sat me next to him on the couch.
"Ain't nothing wrong with boys who go around acting like girls. They ain't faggots. A faggot...a REAL faggot, is a boy who thinks he's a man, that goes around calling other boys faggot, because he's scared that he might be gay," he said as he looked me in my eye.
"So my father's a faggot?" I asked with a surprised look on my face.
"What do you think?," he asked as he stood up off the couch.
"I think he is one," I said smiling at this new found revelation. "Where ya going?," I asked Rome as I stood up off the couch and stood next to him.
"Like I said, we have stuff to do tomorrow and we gotta get some sleep. You can sleep on the couch for now until I can get you a bed to put in the second bedroom. Ain't nothing in there right now but some clothes that I couldn't fit in my closet in my room," he said. "Come on, I'll show you where the bathroom and bedrooms are."
He began walking down the hall between the kitchen and living room. As he walked, I couldn't help but notice his muscular bubble butt flexing in his shorts as he walked. I looked down and could see his calves were huge too, just like the rest of him.
"This is the bathroom," he said as he slid his hand inside the doorway on the left, along the wall and flipped a light switch. I peeked in quickly as I kept up my pace behind Rome. He then flicked on the light across from the bathroom and said, "You can have this room." It was about 10ft by 12ft and had a small closet off to the side that was filled with clothes. There was a couple boxes against the wall, and a couple chairs stacked on top of one another, but that was it.
"My room is the door at the end of the hallway. Anyway, if you want you can take a shower and I'll give you some clothes to sleep in," he said as he looked at me questioningly.
"Ok," I replied. He nodded as he walked down the hall to a small sliding closet door. He opened it and pulled out a sheet and a comforter. Then he went into his room and came back out with a pillow in his hands along with the bedding he grabbed from the closet and we walked back to the living room. He laid the sheet out on the couch, tucking it in with the cushions. Then he spread the comforter out and set the pillow down along one of the arm rests. Then I followed him back to his room, again watching his muscles flex in his back and his legs, while watching the mounds of his ass flex with each forward step.
Inside his room, he was rummaging through his dresser, and pulled out some drawstring shorts and a black t-shirt, both of which were way too big for me. He handed them to me, then I followed him to the bathroom, where he turned the water on, and retrieved a towel and wash cloth from the hallway closet, and set them on the counter next to the sink.
"Go ahead and take your shower. Imma take me a shower too in my bathroom, then when we done we can watch tv for a lil bit before we go to bed," he said looking back at me as he walked out into the hallway. "You good son?" he asked me.
"Yes Daddy," I said smiling back him as I took off my shirt. I glanced into the mirror and noticed there was a big bruise on my shoulder. I hadn't noticed it with my clothes on, but it must've been from me falling on the ground after my Dad hit me.
"He can't hurt you no more," Rome said as he saw me noticing it. "Put your clothes in the hamper when you through," he said nodding toward the hamper behind the bathroom door. He pulled the door closed and left me to shower.
The water felt good on my skin once I got used to it. I couldn't believe how much my life had improved since my father kicked me out earlier that same day. I couldn't believe how nice of a man Roman was either. He seemed like he was everything my Dad wasn't. He kept a clean house, he had a lot of money, and he was incredibly nice to me. As I washed my body I thought back to when my Grandma was alive and I remembered her telling her friend about a nice black man that she'd met at the bank earlier that day. She said he was strong looking, and a bit intimidating to a little old lady. She overheard the bank teller at the next window tell him that his money hadn't posted to his account yet, and that he'd have to wait a couple days to be able to make a withdrawal. My grandma knew the teller at the bank pretty well, and was chit chatting a bit, and told her that she was getting some money out to give to her grandson for his birthday, and she processed the withdrawal. When she was leaving she set her wallet on top of the car so she could fish her keys out of her purse and by time she found them and unlocked the car, she forgot about her wallet being on top of the car. She got in and sat down in the seat just as a homeless man walked past the car and grabbed the wallet and started running. Shortly after, the black man that was beside my grandma inside the bank took off after him and tackled him. He took the wallet back from him then kicked him and said, "Get out of here you fucking bum." Then he walked back over to my grandmas car and knocked on her window. She saw that he was holding her wallet, and put two and two together, and realized she'd left it on the car, and that's why he was chasing the other man. She opened the door, and got out and hugged the man and started crying. She thanked him repeatedly and told him that she wouldn't know what she would've done if she'd lost her wallet. Then she opened it and handed him a 100 dollar bill. Then she told him he was her guardian angel, and to make sure to tell the other guardian angels to keep a watch on her and her grandson.
"He's my guardian angel," I said out loud to myself as I finished rinsing and stepped out of the shower. I dried myself off and noticed an unopened tooth brush and tooth paste sitting on the counter. It wasn't there when I got in the shower so Rome must've brought it in when I was washing up. I brushed my teeth and rinsed my mouth. Then I looked over at the folded clothes Rome gave me, sitting on the counter. I picked them up and smelled them. They smelled clean and fresh and reminded me of my Grandma.
I pulled the oversized clothes on and looked in the mirror again, this time focusing on the bruise on the right side of my forehead. The swelling seemed to have gone down a bit, but it was still reddish purple. I left took one last glance at myself, comed my hair forward with my hand and headed to the living room. Rome wasn't there. He must've still been in the shower. I decided to wait for him in his room. So I walked back there and into his bedroom. He had a really nice king sized bed with a wooden frame. There was a big flat screen mounted on the wall, and along another wall was the dresser that he'd rummaged through earlier for the clothes I was wearing. I sat down on the bed and looked across the room at what was obviously the master bathroom. You could see the light coming from under the crack on the door. I laid back on the bed and smelled turned my head into his pillow and smelled it. The smell was incredible. It smelled like him only a bit stronger than what I could smell from laying in his arms.
Suddenly the bathroom door opened and Rome stepped into the room. He was completely naked. He noticed me laying on the bed and made no effort to hide his nakedness. My eyes were transfixed on him. He literally looked like a moving statue. Every muscle feature complimented the next one, and his skin was like creamy dark chocolate. His treasure trail ran from just below his belly button, down into his slightly bushy forest of pubic hair. His dick was completely soft and seemed proportionate to the rest of his body. His balls were peppered with the same hair that was above his cock. His entire package was swaying back and forth as he moved around the room putting lotion on and rummaging through the dresser to pull clothes out of it. Then grabbed a wave cap and put it on his head. As he pulled the strings on it behind his head to tie it, his whole front side of his body was facing towards me. I could see his biceps in his arms flexing as he tied the knot on his wave cap at the back of his head. I was intently staring at his whole body, transfixed on the beautiful sight before me. I was hard again from the view, and from being so close to a naked man for the first time.
"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have come in here to wait for you. I didn't know you'd be naked," I said sheepishly, but still I continued gazing at his body.
"You don't gotta be sorry son," he said nonchalantly. "Ain't you ever seen your Daddy naked?" he asked.
"No," I replied, suddenly disgusted at the thought. "You're way better looking than him," I said without thinking about it. I suddenly realized how comfortable I was with Rome. His demeanor made me feel like I could tell him anything.
"You think I look good baby?" he asked me smiling.
"You're the best looking man I've ever seen," I said as I smiled back him, slightly embarrassed, but feeling like I shouldn't be embarrassed. "You have a lot of muscles, and a lot of hair on your...stuff," I said. He chuckled and smirked at me. "It's all part of being a man," he said as he began flexing his muscles for me. As he did so, a warm feeling came over my whole body. I was becoming aroused in every way possible. Watching this God of a man pose for me, and put on a show for me like this was something so incredibly erotic to me. My facial expression must've shown my predicament, because Rome said, "Do I turn you on son?"
"I dunno," I said feeling bashful. I wasn't sure what to say and became afraid of my feelings towards him. I looked away from him at the floor. He walked over to me, and gently grabbed my shirt and tugged it up over my head. Then he grabbed the string on my shorts and pulled it untied, then slid them down and off my feet. I was sitting there on the side of the bed naked, and still rock hard. I noticed that Rome's dick was getting bigger.
"I think you do know. I think you need me baby. Like I said before, I'm a King and King's tend to get what they want. I could hear you and your father fighting earlier, and then I heard a crash. Then I heard him yelling at you to get out. The second you walked out the door and I could see you lookin all sad and hurt, I knew that I was gonna be your Daddy. Now here you are. Cause like I said, I'm a King and King's tend to get what they want. What do you want E?" he said as he stood in front of me.
His hard dick was pointing at me. It was much bigger than before when he was soft. It now seemed 3 times as big. It must've been 9 inches, maybe more, and had a big helmut head that resembled Darth Vaders helmut from Star Wars. Now there were veins running along the sides of his dick that squiggled back and forth the entire length of it.
"I want to touch you," I confessed as I continued staring at his big hard black dick.
"I want to touch you too," he said as he grabbed my hand and placed it on his chest.
"You do?" I asked in a surprised tone..."why?" I asked, feeling unattractive and wimpy compared to his warrior built body, and strikingly handsome face.
"There's a fire in your eyes baby boy. I can see it when you look at me. I could see it when I pulled up to you and told you to get in my car. You didn't hesitate. You just got right in, because you trusted me. All day today your lil dick has been hard looking at me. The look in your eyes when you look at me tells me that you belong to me. A lot of people look at me like they wanna fuck, but when you look at me, I know you need to worship me. I need you to worship me Edward. That's what King's like me require. I need it bad, and I want to make you feel as good as you make me feel. I want to make love to you and give you what you need and I will. It may not be tonight, but I want to be your everything...and I told you about what happens when King's want something," he said as I ran my hands down from his chest and onto his washboard abs. I traced the lines between each of his ab muscles, as he flexed his stomach, making them pop out even more than they were when he wasn't flexing.
"Lay down," he said commanding me. The look in his eyes had changed. He was serious, and lust driven. He crawled over me to where he was on his hands and knees and I was beneath him. Our bodies weren't touching, but we were looking into each other's eyes. His hands were pushing into the matress on either side of my head, supporting the weight of his massive frame. The bed creaked beneath us as he bent his arms, lowering his face to mine.
"Who am I?" he whispered to me. I knew better than to call him Rome and felt excited that I knew what to say.
"My Daddy," I answered as I noticed the heat emanating from his body above me.
"And what am I?" he asked, searching my eyes for an answer.
"You're my guardian angel," I answered. He smiled, and said, "What else?"
"You're my King," I replied, as I suddenly felt the tip of his dick on my stomach. The feeling of it sent a shockwave through me, and my own dick started to convulse in anticipation of the climax I was quickly heading towards having. He made slow-motion humping motions that caused his dick to slide up and down the top of my stomach and chest.
"That's right son, I am your King. I'm your Daddy and your King," he said pushing his pelvis against mine. I could feel his hard dick sliding against mine as he pumped himself against me, dry humping me.
"Your soft white skin feels so good on Daddy's dick," he said looking me in my eyes. I wanted to kiss him badly. His lips were moist and pillowy looking. I kept staring at them. He licked his lips, then leaned in a little closer and actually licked my lips softly and sensually. The feeling of him on top of me grinding his dick into mine, and the feeling of his tongue on my lips all sent me over the edge, and I started cumming. I could feel my young boy cum flooding in between our bodies, the whole time Rome was tracing my lips with his tongue. Then he shoved his tongue into my mouth and began kissing me while grinding his dick into my pelvis harder and faster. My cum was acting as a lube for his dick, as I could now feel his dick sliding easily against me. Rome then let the full weight of his body rest on top of me as he reached down and grabbed my ass with both hands and continued grinding his dick into my pelvis, all the while he never stopped kissing me. I could feel his dick getting harder and harder until I felt it pulsing between us, and I could feel what seemed like a ton of cum spraying between us. Once his orgasm subsided, he got up and left the room, then returned with a wet washcloth and a towel. He wiped up the cum off my body, then himself, and threw it into a laundry basket on the floor. Then he got into bed next to me.
"Can I sleep in here with you tonight?" I asked.
"Come here," he said as he pulled me to him. He was spooning me, holding me in his arms, against his frontside. I could feel his semi-hard dick resting against my ass cheek. I couldn't help but think about how safe I felt laying there with him. I felt like I was invincible from the world, like nothing could ever hurt me as long as I was here with my Daddy.
-------------------Stay tuned for the next chapter------------------------
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