Hey Bois!!! I know it's been like forever since I last wrote but I've been dealing with some really bad events in my life. I would like to thank all of my fans out there for responding and encouraging me. Without you guys I really wouldn't have any gut to write.
Disclaimer: The normal disclaimer is again posted. Please respect them. I know it's not like it can be enforced or anything but hey....
I hope you guys will enjoy chapter 7 ... it took me a while to write this even though it doesn't seem as though it is; putting everything in order takes time i guess.
Comments are always welcomed.... love, ray
rrok@webtv.net ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The door flung open and in came Annie. What i wanted to know was how the hell did she open the door. THen she replied to me that she had an extra key... figures..shes accessable to my house why not my hotel room. Kris was in a shock, at that time i couldn't tell whether he was pissed or just not a morning person. He kissed me and GOD did i love it. Well it was 7 am and we were going to take an excursion to Toledo today. WE got dresssed and primped and went downstairs to the hotel cafe for some breakfast. It was weird, I still couldn't get over the fact that I was in Espana.Kinda freaked me out. The whole day Kris was really distant with me and he seemed really snappy with responses whe i tried to talk to him and right away i was julted into combat mode. I had really mixed emotions with him.
Was I gonna be his boyfriend or was he looking for just a fuck buddy? So i kinda stayed cleer. I was going to Toledo witha different group: Kris was going to stay in Madrid for the day and just hang but Annie and I were on our way to Toledo.
Well, we did our whole sight seeing/picture taking and i guess the whole incident with Kris just kinda bugged me. Annie was basically my shoulder for me to lean on. She was everything. if i were str8 I would honestly want to be married to her. On the way back to Madrid I decided to give Kris the ultimadium. As soon as we arrived the hotel i went to my room and I found Kris sleeping. I turned on the lights and woke him.
" Kris wake the fuck up NOW!' i hollared
" What?" he replied sleepily and brief.
" We need to have a serious talk with everything and anything." he immediately rose up and looked attentitive.
I already was in kinda tears trying to just suck it in but I couldn't and I couldn't even talk...I was a mess. he hugged me and told me to calm down and have a ciggarette. I did and he joined me. I then got myself togeather and said to him.
" What am I to you; a fuck buddy or a boyfriend?" He immediately got all defensive and just got pissed. I felt so bad but i had to know the truth.
" Well, I like you but I'm not comfortable being your boyfriend. I don't want anyone else to be with you. You are awesome in bed. I don't know ryan i can't classify us? I guess fuck buddies with feelins?
I was welding up in tears again...I couldn't believe tht this was happenning. What am I supposed to do?
" We are two totally different people, I love you but I don't know what love is."
OMG this boi is contradicting everything to all extremes. i finally cut him off and said.
" Fine I'm sorry I ever fucked you, met you or even associated with you.!" I screamed at him and left... he looked cold and kinda motion less but I didn't care; he used me for sex and said this and that but then contradicted everything.i ran and ran with Annie and Kris both calling for me but i kept on running. I lost them and I found myself at a small cafe somewhere in Madrid. I took at seat and in my best spanish I said
" Por favor, dame un cafe con leche." I was chilling drinking my coffee and just thinking of everything. I had to figure a way to deal my problems with Kris. I had no choice because i was in europe for a month with him. I silently weeped as i drank my coffee while listening to a soft trio of guitar players play thier sad, melloncholle music in the sotre from window. My emotions took over and I came to the conclusion to resolve me problems.
I needed to go home. I don't care if Annie is gonna stay and Kris is gonna stay I wanted my own place to mellow out and chill.I called continental airlines and changed my ticket.I was going home tomorrow. I started walking into my hotel room and I opened my door. To my surprise I the lights were off and some candles were lit as my eyes adjusted, kris came out of the darkness. He looked like he has been crying all night. He hugged me and just sat there on the bed. I wouldn' let him speak as I began to pack. I simply told him I'm going home and enjoy the rest of Spain. He then began to whine and then he did what i never expected him to do. He went on his knees and took of his dead Father's diamond wedding ring. He took my hand and said
" I know i fucked up and I know that you hate me. Please forgive me, as a token of my love, to you one day when we are ready, we can get married. Take this ring and wear it. It's my promist to you Ryan Lopez that I love you and that I want to be wiht you forever. This ring means a lot to me. It's my real Dad's wedding band and I would be honored to know that you want to be with me forever."
I was in tears. He slid the diamond ring and it was a perfect fit. it was huge too. OMG I was speechless.After we kissed I called the airlines again and cancelled my flight. I spent the night with Kris talking on the balcony having a couple glasses of wine and some cigarretts. we bonded and i really do think I do love him. The city looked so beautiful. It was out last night in Madrid, and I love every moment of it.
There, no cliffhanger. I hope you enjoyed my story. I guess this week, I came to alot of conclusions. Based on these conclusions, I found that I can apply them to my story and just let them go. Being in a relationship takes alot out of people. Everything is give and take and paybacks are never enjoyed either way you look at it. I guess what goes around comes around is a better term to put it in. I learned that friends will come and go and basically you are always the survivor. Do things for yourself and stop going out of your way. Be independant and be happy. Things happen for a reason and I guess It's all good at the end. Well, comments are always welcome and flames will be ignored. rrok@webtv.net