Sixteen weeks had passed since I met the Bruja in Mexico, I was a changed man, pun intended. Here I sat on a barstool. feeling more female than male. Dressed as far as I knew as a classy woman. My body reacting to the silk and satin, to my new perfume and to the forbiddances of it all. Mostly I felt ill, I was not ready for this and every fiber of my being told me to leave, to run away and get back to the safety of my home. I reached in my purse and opened my wallet and dropped a twenty on the bar, with every intention to get up and walk straight to the door and never look back. I took one last long draw on my Cosmo for strength and was about to stand when a woman sat down next to me and smiled. I quickly realized she was a man or had once been one, but I have to say it made me feel safer, than if a man had just plunked down. "I don't know you sweetie'" She said with a very warm smile, and then extended her hand to me in a limp fashion. "Veronica" I panicked, I had never even thought of a name, Bill was my male name, quick, Billie, no, too butch, not the way I felt inside. Willamina, god no. I needed a name I was comfortable with, the first name I remembered from school was Linda, I always thought it was pretty and later found out it meant pretty in Spanish. I offered my hand and managed Linda, how do you do? "What are you drinking" she asked? I turned beet red I am sure but decided to be honest, "I have never had one of these in my life, it's a Cosmopolitan, ech!" Veronica laughed out loud with a knowing manner and made me chuckle as well. Our faces lit up and some of the butterfly's in my tummy went away. Let me buy you a real ladies drink, and she turned to signal the bartender before I could respond. When he came over she whispered in his ear and he smiled and left to do his
magic. Veronica turned all her attention to me and said "Honey, you remind me of me my first night out, trust me we are all friends here and only want to be ourselves." I managed a crooked smile and wished deep in my soul she was right. Our drinks came and we were faced with two shot glasses with dark liquid with a ball of white thick liquid floating in them." This will warm your knickers "she said and raised hers to a salute and downed it. I felt silly if I didn't follow suit, so I tipped the glass skyward and let
it slide down my throat. My body felt at first like it was on fire, then quickly warmed to a glow all over, my nipples especially seemed to react. I looked at her and she smiled a smile of a hundred years of knowledge. " What is that scent " S he asked? "Scent"? "Your perfume"? "Oh, Oh my scent, well it is " I stammered and stalled, dammed if I could remember, I was in such a state of freight when I purchased it, I don't even
remember, just that I liked it. " I, it , I ." Veronica began to giggle and threw her arms around me in a friendly hug. busting out in laughter. "It's OK sweetie, I really don't care, I am just being a friend." She smelled delightful as she hugged me and for a moment I was a man on the
prowl, wanting to take her in my arms and have her in the most immediate way. Then my mind quickly flashed on my shrinking penis and my current attire and I almost panicked again. "Linda, please just be you with me, I am not here to judge you, we all have
our secretes and fantasies, I will be your friend if you let me." My defenses fell like a conquered empire and I suddenly realized I needed an ally in my new world. It was like being back in college and realizing how much you needed others feedback, except now I was in a very vulnerable position. Always the scientist, I decided to find out what I could from Veronica, so I held up my hand and signaled for another round.
I spoke in generalities about my transition. Veronica confided she was on hormones and headed toward a total sexual reassignment. We had several rounds and she became more intimate. Sharing more than quite frankly I was prepared for. When we discussed breast, we had a real common thread, she described how sensual her breast had become and I confided that mine had too. Veronica went on to tell me she lived with two other transitioning women as she put it, and I was impressed. I had no idea until now how many men were in a state of transition. Men sounded so harsh in my brain, as I was thinking lately as myself as a woman. The scientist is a cruel master. Finally after several rounds, she asked me back to her place. Now I was stumped, was I a man, a woman, a mate, a friend, a potential roommate, which turned out to be the truth. I finally just said sure and we stumbled out and hailed a cab. Veronica had a three flat walk up, I would say Victorian but in my condition, maybe not! We made the third floor and she opened the apartment, it was lovely, nice lavender paint and soft accents. Her roommates were asleep, so she took me in the kitchen and we had a drink. We laughed, and confided some secretes and then she reached forward and kissed me gently on the lips. I responded of course being a male, but my body seemed to be more breast oriented than genitals. I was taken aback by this. At some point we must have gone to bed, because we awoke in each others arms. I was content, but a little bit unsettled. We kissed and hugged and Veronica got up for work and came back to kiss me goodbye, she left me a business card from her design firm and said Call me. Lying there in the bed, I realized it had been months since I had any sex, much less something sexless that was so satisfying. I got up with a lilt in my step and began to get myself dressed. It was odd still to put on panties and a bra and a dress and to look at myself critically in the mirror and have to rearrange my hair before I could consider going out. "Christ I am a woman" flashed in my mind, That was followed by "What the hell is in those creams? I practically ran home, hailing the first available cab and my voice be damned, I blurted out my address. In the sanctuary of my home, I vowed to sort this all out. I now had two weeks of leave left and was wondering if I would return. If I
did, would I return as a woman or a man? The question was legit,however I knew in my soul the answer. I was a woman and content as one, now I had to
pursue the formula and make sure I remained happy.
I decided a trip to Mexico was in my future, I had to revisit the Bruja and
find out her design and formula. So early the next morning I made my flight reservations and a hotel. When I arrived in Mexico, traveling as a woman,
because it just felt right, the customs people looked at my passport and passed me through but I heard them laughing as I passed. I blushed deeply but in my heart felt they did not understand. I proceeded to my Hotel and the clerk looked at me as if he knew me but proceeded to check me in. I changed cloths in my room, after a quick shower. I reapplied makeup and scent and spent sometime on my hair , then hailed a cab to take me to the tiny village where the Bruja lived. I was dropped off and had to take a deep breath before knocking on the side of her cardboard shack. My heart was racing. She came to the door, a shadow of her former self. Old and tired and barely able to move. I grabbed her hand and helped her to an chair. We sat for what seemed like a long time and then she smiled weakly, saying" You are the man who bought the cream?" I nodded. She seemed to drift off into a sleep for a few moments." I knew you would be a good woman, "She said. I was kicked in the stomach. my guts were ill at ease. "You told mew this was a hair growth hormone, I am now a woman!" An almost silent cackle arose from her and she said in broken English" You grew hair where you desired it, but your most intimate desire was to be free of your spiritual body" It was like a kick to the chest, I suddenly knew what my heart had desired all along. She locked eyes and smiled like an old shaman.
We had a few seconds of eye contact before I realized how powerful and insightful she was. I had in my soul always wanted to be a woman, to be all a woman could be, now I was nearly one and had no regrets. Her hands went to her chest and instinctively I knew she was dying. I reached out and tried to administer mouth ton mouth, but she placed her hand on my mouth and prevented me from proceeding. "All the cream I have left is yours, because you are a true woman, it will last you many years, I want you to be happy and embrace your real life. I will pass on and know you will be the woman of my dreams and harm no other. And with that she closed her eyes. My last words were from my science background, i asked, "W hat were the ingredients?" She smiled weakly and passed away in my arms.
I spent a few days in her domain and discovered about a two years supply of
the cream A s much as I searched, I never found any of the root products that made the compound. God bless me if I didn't try!
I did however use up all the cream and go with the Brujas voice and become a woman. I sent away for hormones which made my breast even more impressive and my penis shriveled to nothing, I eventually had reconstructive surgery an now am married to a sick freak who thinks I am the love of his life.;
:)