My letter to Master Phillip - why I want and should submit and serve
I first became aware of alpha males and beta males in elementary school. I was buying gum from a gumball machine and my coin was stuck. No matter how I pathetically tried to turn the handle it would not budge. A kid who must have been about 2 years older walked over, easily turned the handle and walked away chewing my gum. I just stood there like a dope not saying a word. True story. I wasn't so much embarrassed as I was confused. Why didn't I say anything? Why didn't I do anything? Over the years, I became more and more aware of what I call "true alphas". These are not the guys who are in your face about how superior they are, like some overly aggressive high school jock. No, I'm talking about the confident, quietly aggressive types who can make a girl melt with just a look, and who can make betas like me turn beet red and avoid eye contact without saying a word. I considered these guys perfect and still do. Yet, as much as I was infatuated with these men, I wasn't striving to BE one. Sure, I did my best to be manly, date women, move up professionally, etc., but deep down it never felt right. It never felt authentic.
It wasn't until my 30's when I truly started to understand who I was. I was reading more and more about dominant and submissive personality types, and looking through the Craigslist personals to see what types of men were out there. Unfortunately, it seemed to me the doms were more of the high school jock type or the heavy black leather type. I don't know when it finally dawned on me, but it was around that time when I realized I was not just in awe of "true alphas", but deep down I wanted to serve them. That was the missing piece all that time. I always knew I could never be one myself, that I was clearly inferior, but I felt this overwhelming urge to want to make myself useful to them. That was the part that was always there and I could never put my finger on it. Or maybe I always knew it, but could never admit to it until then.
So, armed with this new self-awareness, what do I do? I'm married with a pretty good job. I don't want to throw that all away. So I put a stop to it and proceeded with my "normal" life... until now.
I wasn't looking for a true alpha. I was just doing what I typically do these days – reading some stories on Nifty to calm my unrequited submissive needs. And then I read your "Yes, I know I'm perfect" and "My Cashfag" stories. They were stories about a true alpha. The kind I dream about. The kind that knows who they are and knows exactly what I am as well. I couldn't believe it. To say I was excited would be an understatement, and I just had to tell you how wonderful your stories were so I shot you an email and thought that would be the end of it.
But I couldn't stop reading those stories. And I couldn't stop thinking about you. Then you emailed me, and I felt like a high school girl getting a phone call from her guy crush. I honestly didn't know what was happening. I wasn't looking for anything right now. I thought I had put all this behind me. I kept waiting for you to say or do something that would make me say "Nah, he's not the true alpha I thought he was, time to go." but you never did. Cool, calm, confident I was being lured in and I couldn't resist. I tried... and failed miserably. I tried my best to be cool myself, not tipping my hand, but I know my attempts at that were pathetic.
I want to serve you because in my eyes you are perfect. You are everything I am not. You deserve to have guys like me available to you because there are so many basic, mundane parts of everyday life that you should not have to concern yourself with. Cooking, cleaning, laundry, shopping, etc. should not even be thoughts in your mind. These are things that an inferior male like me should be doing. Being able to do those things for you would be like winning the lottery. I crave to be reminded of how inferior I am. Everything and anything from being treated like a dog to simply cleaning a dirty toilet.
I can't imagine it was mere coincidence that I found your story on Nifty. And I've never emailed an author before but felt this need to with you. I know you have your pick of guys like me, but I humbly submit myself to you. To be your servant. To make your life easier and better. It is my place. It is my calling. You deserve everything and anything I have to give. You are completely in my head, and the fact of the matter is, I want you to stay there.
Feedback/comments can be sent to me at TCrawford345@mail.com. Any questions or comments for my Master please contact Him at phillip.green3298@gmail.com.