DISCLAIMER: If you are under 18 or homosexual sex and situation offend you then read no further.
Also, this is fictional and is not meant to imply that Howie, AJ or Brian are gay...... Now if you are over 18 and homosexual sex and situations interest AND you can remember this is fantasy and NOT reality then read on....
Anyways, a shout out to all my friends: you know who you are but I'll say anyways: (Mickey Mouse Roll Call) Aj, Allen, Chris, Jesse, Jessica, Meg, Nicky, Donnie, Rob, Shawn, the Vascardi's, Zaid, those four weirdo's I hang out with and just about everyone else who has ever sent me an email.
And of course to my heart: I love you and you KNOW its you I was thinking about when I wrote this aight?
My Night With Howie D. Part 15 by Ceej
You know how they say when your going to die you see your whole life flash before your eyes?
Well I am telling you its a crock. There is nothing more than you screaming like a little girl and hoping and praying to god that it will end fast.
Especially when you are in the air and plummeting in a Jeep to your watery, rocky death.
But I digress.
There I was falling and screaming like a bitch and the next thing I know I am in this room. Its kinda like an entryway. So I am assuming this is like heavens front hall (or hell, depending on your interpretation). There was a door behind me and a door in front of me. I won't lie. There was no white light. But I didn't smell fire and brimstone. So of course I do what the girls always do in the movies and go for the door. I open it and find a room set up like a meeting room. There is a big table with many chairs, of which only three were filled. There were two blondes and a black guy who's attention was on the man standing up talking. And when I looked at him I did a double take. The guy had straight black hair that fell across his eyes. Icy blue eyes. I was looking at my best friend Jesse. My DEAD best friend.
"Hey look who's here! Man even in death you take your sweet time don't you?" he said.
I just stood there in shock. I didn't know what was happening. Was this what goes on when your brain just shuts down and all the synapses fire off at once?
"No, this is what happens when you die and go to heaven." Jesse said.
"Your reading my thoughts?"
"Duh. There weren't all that hard to read in life. Craig your in heaven. Well, no, not heaven. Lets call this limbo. And this is the orientation phase. These guys and me are here to accomadate you to the 'way'." he smiled.
He walked around the table and came up to me. I shrank back but he reached out and grabbed me into a hug.
"I've missed you." he said into my ear.
And with that I melted. This was Jesse. And if it wasn't then my brain could sure come up with some funky trips in its last few moments.
"Thats okay. You can think that, cause it IS what is happening. Right now you are on that beach and your psynapses are firing off one by one and your body is shutting down. But thats what I am here for. I specifically requested this when I saw it on the schedule." Jesse said.
"Schedule? Okay now I know this is the last delusion. Okay I'll bite and go along with it. Whats going on and who are these guys."
"Your humoring me. Thats alright. I know your cynical and hard headed. Thats why I got appointed." he said with a smile. "But let me introduce the guys."
"This is Allen." he said and pointed to the cute blonde with the Nick Carter looking hair.
"This is AJ." pointing to the other blonde with the mischevious smile.
"And I am Jesse too."
And with that they all cracked up.
"We're basically gonna show you some stuff to pass the time, and then when we finish you get to make a choice." Allen said.
"We're
And at that moment Howie walked in with a woman I am assuming was his secretary.
"Your meeting with the board is at three. And Mr. Richardson called again." she said.
"Well, I will handle that one. Thank you Rose."
She left and closed the door behind her. Howie sat down at his desk and put his head in his hands and sighed. I noticed he looked a little older. And very distinguished. He looked like a businessman, but still like the guy I fell in love with. Craig and AJ had looked about the same as they had when I had 'left'.
"Allen, how far in time from my accident is this?" I asked.
"I'd say about one or two years. Why?"
"Well, what does Howie do?" I asked.
But before Allen could answer Rose came back in.
"Mr. Dorough you have some visitors."
"Show them in Rose." Howie said without looking up.
And in walked Kevin, Nick and Brian. Again, they all looked the same. Well, Nick had a buzz cut and Brian had finally grown his hair out some, but other than that they looked the same. Howie was the only one who looked different. I turnd to say something and Allen put his finger to his lips indicating my silence.
"Thank you Rose. I have been expecting them." Howie said and Rose left.
"Howie, you've been ignoring my calls." Kevin said as he sat.
"I told you already Kevin. I am not interested."
"Is this because of Craig and AJ? Man don't sweat it, Craig isn't ever around. Come back D, we miss ya." Nick said.
"Yeah we need your high notes D. We miss you. Your our friend but you've written us all off." Brian added.
"No. I haven't. I just chose not to sit around and watch my life fall apart with an audience." Howie said bitterly.
"That was two years ago Howie. You and AJ are best friends and just need to talk things over." Kevin said.
"TALK! Talk to him! NO! The day AJ and Craig chose to be together I stopped talking to either of them. It hurts too much. I am sorry that I left before Millenium was finished, but you guys did great. I mean you didn't sell as much as Garth Brooks did, but you hit it good just the same. But I am not going back. I have a business to run. I have properties and developments going up all over Orlando. I can't afford to take a year off to sing and dance. I run this and make my own money now. I am happy. I may not have someone in my life, but I am happy. I have my health, my business and my family." Howie said.
Then everything faded and we were back in the 'meeting' room. Allen was smiling like the Cheshire Cat. But before I could say anything AJ took my arm and led me through the door again. This time we appeared in a living room that was decorated like your parents living room.
"Okay NOW where are we?" I asked.
"I get to show you what your life would be like if you chose Howie. And never went out on a rainy night." AJ smiled.
He led me into a dining room where me and Howie sat.
"The time frame is about nine or ten months after your 'accident'. You chose Howie and finished your run on "Guys" and he got busy with the making of Milllenium. You guys have had some twists and turns but through it all you pulled through and are happier than ever." AJ said.
I saw me and Howie. We were laughing and talking. There were what looked like schoolbooks in front of me. Howie leaned over and kissed me. I noticed on his left ring finger was a different ring than the gold band and I moved so I could see my own and saw I had a matching one.
"We got married!"
"Yeah, ya'll hooked up and saw each other through some pretty rough times." AJ said.
"So AJ and Amanda will be over for the party?" I heard myself ask.
"You know it. They said they have a surprise for us all." Howie answered.
So its obivous that AJ and us are still cool. Then I heard something that totally threw me. I heard a baby crying. At first I though it was a hallucination, but then Howie and me broke our kiss and laughed.
"Looks like Dominic is awake." Howie laughed.
They got up and walked down the hall to another room. I ran after them an entered to see a nursery decorated with a Pooh and Tigger theme. And there was a crib where Howie and me were lifting a baby out. I walked behind them. This 'Dominic' looked a lot like I did when I was a baby. Seeing Howie and me with him made me cry. I couldn't stop. I felt someones arm and turned to see AJ. He led me out and we were in the hall.
"You'll probably want to dry those tears before we get back." he said and leaned against the wall with folded arms.
That was it.
"Why the hell are you guys so fucking cynical!" I yelled.
The quietness was broken. I heard the baby scream and Craig and Howie's tones trying to comfort him.
AJ slapped a hand over my mouth.
"Shut up! Just because the adults can't see us doesn't mean we're invisible."
"Sorry, but just try and explain why you and Allen seem to get this great amusement over my life?"
But before he answered we were back in that damn room and Jesse too grabbed my arm and led me off while AJ, Allen and Jess were in a corner talking.
We exited the hall and entered on the porch of a beach house.
"Okay, where are we now?"
He didn't say anything and just walked into the house. I followed and saw an old man in a wheelchair, and alot of hospital equipment.
"Getting tired of it already? Well this is the last stop. This is you if you would have survived the accident." he answered.
"Me? THAT is me?" I asked.
"Yes. You survived but you had permamnent brain damage. Your spine was snapped. So you basically cant think or move for yourself. Your career was over."
Then Howie walked in. He squatted in front of the wheelchair and started talking to me. I coulnd't hear it though and turned to Jesse too.
"But at least I have Howie." I said.
He said nothing and just looked over at the wheelchair. I turned to look also and saw AJ also.
"Wait you mean AJ too?"
But before the quesiton was fully out of my mouth AJ put his arm around Howie and they walked out of the beach house.
"You see, Howie and AJ got together. You left Howie a note tellling all. But even after that he still loved you. But after the accident and the prognosis he broke down. He got committed for six months. When he came out his memory was whacked. He forgot about you as a boyfriend and remembered you as a friend. He forgot AJ as a friend and remembered him as a boyfriend. Aj resisted at first but eventually fell in love with Howie. They come and visit you every weekend. Personally, I think this is what you deserve."
"NO MORE! I DONT WANT TO SEE ANYMORE!" I yelled.
"So be it" Jesse too answered.
The room shifted and I was sitting and staring out a window. I tried to look down and couldn't. I try to sit up and couldn't. I tried to lift my hands up and couldn't. Then it dawned on me. I hadn't been in limbo. I had been dying in the Jeep and my mind just made it all up to entertain me. And I had been saved and as Jesse too had described was what my life was now. A tear escaped my eye. But then a finger stopped it. I looked forward and saw a face.
"Now that you've have seen it all, are you ready to talk to me?"
I screamed YES with all my strength. And the room disappeared and I was in my old room. Jesse was sitting on my bed watching me. I brought my hands to my face and started screaming. Jess jumped up and grabbed me into an embrace.
"Calm down." he whispered, and I did.
"What was that all about? Why were they all such jerks? " I asked as he guided me to the bed.
We sat down and he looked at me.
"Can't you tell me? Have I been such a jerk that I deserve all this?" I asked yet he was still silent.
"Craig, can you tell me what the reason for the whole AJ thing is?"
"What does that have to do with anything?"
"Just tell me."
"Okay, AJ is the wild outrageous part that we all want and I thought that being with him would be fun."
"And Howie?" "I love him. He makes me feel whole. I can't imagine life without him. When I saw him in that office I wanted to cry. And then when I saw him in the nursery I wanted to cry again, but with happiness."
Whoa. Why was it I couldn't come up with this when I needed to?
"Theres your answer then Craig."
"What good does that do me Jess? I am dead."
"Are you?? Werent you the one who said this was all the delusion as you lay there bleeding??"
"Okay stop answering me in riddles. Just give me a straight answer. Am I dead or not?"
My room disapeared and we appeared on a cliff. I started sliding and Jess grabbed me.
"Hehe, you don't want to fall." he said with a smile.
I looked around and saw this was the secret beach that I took Howie to and proposed. I turned to say something to Jess and saw that the others were there too.
"What? Are you here to make more witty sarcastic comments?" i asked bitterly.
"Nah, we're here to make sure you make the right choice." Allen answered and the other two just nodded.
"What choice? You said this at the beginning."
"You have a choice babe. How you want to spend an eterenity basically." Allen answered.
"Huh?"
"We showed you three options. You choose and and that is the one you spend eternity as." AJ said.
"But remember to choose wisely." Jesse too said with a smirk.
"So your telling me that I can spend eternity one of three ways? With AJ. With Howie. Or as a vegetable. Right?"
"Yes." they answered together.
"I choose the vegetable." I said.
"What? " they asked.
They all looked shocked except for Jess. He just smiled.
"Yeah, a vegetable. Its the punishment that fits the crime right? I mean if I choose AJ or Howie then I am taking the easy way out. With all the shit I have done in the last week how could I deserve and eternity with them? And I noticed heaven wasn't an option, but honestly if it was I still would choose the vegetable cause I can't see spending eternity with you. So take me there. Make me the vegetable. Its what I deserve." I said and turned my back to them
I braced myself for the non movement and all that. But instead I heard clapping. I turned and they were all smiling. They came up and hugged me.
"See, I told you guys he wasn't bad." Jess beamed.
"What?"
"Craig, this was your redemption. If you would have been shallow and chose the other options you still would have gotten the vegetable. AJ and Howie were just fabrications, the future is still open. But the vegetable is the future. But because you know when to say when and because you have friends in high places, you get a second chance." Jess said.
"A what?"
"A second chance. Now stand back and let us do our thing." he said.
I stayed where I was and about a minute later I saw headlights coming around the corner. It was......the Jeep. Oh my god. The guardrail I went through was the one to the beach. I was going to die on the beach where I proposed to Howie.
"NO but if you don't let us concentrate then you will." Jess snapped.
I watched and saw Jess, Allen, Jesse too, and AJ stand there and stare at the Jeep. It had already begun it slide. Any second now it would slice through the guardrail.
The brakes were slammed on. The wheels locked. The slick pavement caused it to slide and the speed I had built up made it go even faster. I don't know what they were doing but they had better hurry the cause the gaurdrail was there. But this time instead of slicing through the Jeep just bounced off it. They turned to me and smiled.
"There ya go, now remember, don't fuck things up with over worrying ok?" Allen said and hugged me.
I nodded and thanked him. He dematerialized and I swear I heard Hole.
"Don't take your friends for granted and bitch too much ok?" AJ said and hugged me.
I hugged him back and he misted out.
Jesse too walked up and offered his hand. But I pulled him into a hug and he softened.
"Love him with all your heart and never be afraid to tell him how you feel ok?" he said.
I nodded and he disappeared.
That just left me and Jess. We stood there until he said "fuck it" and ran to me and embraced me in a tight bear hug that I automatically returned.
"I miss you so much Jess. You left me too soon." I said through my tears.
"I may have left the physical Craig, but I am always with you." he said through tears of his own. "Never feel alone, because I am watching you. "
"Jess? Thank you."
"For what?"
"I won't lie and say I understood and all that happened, but I am pretty sure something was supposed to go down tonight and you changed that."
"Shh. Don't say anymore. Your not going to remember any of this. And consequently your gonna have a bump on your forehead. I stopped you from dying but I couldn't stop EVERYTHING." he laughed.
"Thank you Jess. Thank you for all this. Thank you for being one of the greatest friends I have ever had."
"Bye." he said.
I woke up and felt pain in my head. I reached up and my forehead was tender to the touch. I looked around and saw I was in the jeep. Against a guardrail. What happened? Then the sliding came back to me. I felt sick and leaned out the door. But instead of throwing up, I saw a white glow on the edge of the cliff. I jumped out of the jeep and ran to it. But as I approached it, it disappeared. Confused I walked back to the Jeep and checked out the front bumper. There was a smal dent that would probably cost me when I returned it to the dealer. But that was okay, right now I had to get home and be with the man I loved. Its funny when i left for this drive I had no idea what to do, but now it was all clear to me. I knew who I wanted and where I wanted to be. I got in the Jeep and started it up. But before I could leave I felt the urge to say something.
"Thanks, Jess. I promise I'll make you proud."
It was a strange thing to say, yet it brought a smile to my face and made me feel good, and I knew that somehow he heard me and was smiling with me.
To be continued.......
Well folks, how was that?
I got SOO many emails from ya'll about ending the series. Now you see it wasn't what I had planned. So tell me how you like this.
I want to hear all of your comments, criticisms and all that other good shit. So email me and magik77_1998@yahoo.com or chat with me on ICQ #30076584.