This story & those that follow are completely fictional. Any likeness is purely coincidental. More parts to come soon.
I'd love to know what you think & if you enjoyed it.
jasonsmith135@yahoo.com
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I hear Tyler's alarm go off, and it feels way too early. I peek out through the slits of my eyelids to find my clock on the bedside table. It's right on time as it always it. It's not, in fact, the middle of the night even though it feels like it is. Which that would also be impossible considering it was well into the middle of the night before we actually fell asleep.
After last night when we... well.. you know.. we went to that burger place. The line was long but we waited anyways, taking it as a good sign that they were good after all. We stood in line together and talked. We finally got to the counter and placed our order and made our way to a recently abandoned table outside on the patio. We had to flick a few french fries to the ground and do a quick wipe with a napkin before we sat, and then we waited until a frazzled worker placed our food down in front of us. The wait was worth it, the burgers delicious and moist, the fries well seasoned and crunchy. We moaned with each bite, nodding to each other as a way to say, this was worth the trip and also that we would definitely be back soon. It didn't take long until we had both wolfed our food down and Tyler had the idea for milkshakes, his treat. I, of course, agreed. He stood up and made his way back to the end of the line to place our order. I sat saving our table and watched him as he made his way to the front of the restaurant.
I watched as he walked. I watched as he waited in line. I watched how he carried himself. I watched as he looked down at his phone and scrolled through his apps. I watched as he watched people coming and going, giving a nice grin and nod to those that made eye contact as they passed. Fuck. I already knew he was gorgeous. That was evident when I first saw him. I knew I was attracted to him, because, well.. look at him. But the way I find myself watching him now was.. well.. shit. Was I actually, like.. ATTRACTED to him?
I looked away from him, back out to the patio and then down the street. People were coming and going, all living their own lives that I'd never know about or have a part in, wondering if that's how people saw us as they passed by while we ate. Did they see just two guys hanging out? How could anyone tell just by looking at you that you're just roommates? Did they think we were dating? On a first date? What would it even feel like to be on a date with Tyler? Is this how it would be? Me suggesting a restaurant, him buying us milkshakes for us to drink on the outside patio together? My mind was working a mile a minute when a felt a cold tap on my shoulder.
"One chocolate milkshake!" Tyler said with a smile, bumping my milkshake against my shoulder.
"Oh, thanks!"
"And don't worry, the chocolate is delicious," he said.
"How would you know? Didn't you get vanilla?" I asked with a raised eyebrow.
"I miiight have snuck a quick sip. Sorry, the walk was sooo long over here from the counter," he smiled to emphasize his sarcasm and took a big sip of his own milkshake.
"Ah, I see. Well I think it's only fair that I should try yours now. To replenish what I lost, you see."
"I would say that's only fair," Tyler replied.
He slid over his milkshake and I tasted it. Sure enough, his vanilla was surprisingly just as good as my chocolate.
"Shit," was all I could say through a mouthful.
"Right? They're both good. They must put crack in here or something."
"I can't decide which one's better,"
"Me either. Wanna just share? Drink some and then switch?"
"That's fine with me," I said, "as long as you don't mind drinking after me."
"Nah, I don't mind," and with that we switched our cups again. "So where were you just then?"
"What do you mean?" I asked, confused.
"When I came back with the shakes, you were zoned out. Where'd you go?"
I tried to think of what to say. I couldn't tell him that I was thinking about him. Or that I was wondering if people thought we were on a date. Especially now that with us switching milkshakes back and forth, we probably DID look like we were on a date.
"Oh, ya know. Just thinking about classes and that test I have coming up next week," was what I came up with.
We continued like that. Sitting at the patio table, swapping shakes every few sips. Talking about our day, about classes. About Tyler's friends and the stupid shit they had gotten into lately. About people sitting a few tables away, and had we seen them on campus before. About someone walking by and how they looked like that celebrity that was on tv the other night. We carried on, talking about everything and nothing. We sat there until both shakes were gone and then kept going until finally a couple hours had passed. We eventually decided to head back to the dorm.
"You want another one for the walk back?" he asked.
"Hell no," I said, "I'm so full I could pop."
"Alright, I think I'm gonna grab one more small one since the line is down."
He went back up to the counter once again while I waited at the table. When he came out and I stood up to join him to head back to our dorm, his face was lit up.
"Dude! If you ask, they'll do a swirl of both flavors!"
He looked so genuinely happy, a big smile plastered on his face as he started to take a big gulp. Fuck. I knew I was in trouble.
We headed back toward our dorm, walking slow like we were just on a stroll, not like it was late and we had class in the morning. We continued shooting the shit, talking about anything we could think of. I was surprised at how easy it was to keep talking after several hours now, especially since I'm not the best at small talk. But it was easy. We'd walk for while, then change the subject as Tyler would pass the small milkshake over to me. Even though I was full and after one lousy attempt to say `no thanks', I took the cup and would take a few sips and then pass it back. I know it shouldn't, seeing as we're just roommates, (maybe even actually friends at this point) but it felt almost intimate. Sure, it's just a milkshake. But he wanted to share. He didn't get two straws. Only one. Even though I said I didn't want any, he still offered. Over and over again. It felt nice. It felt comfortable. I could feel my cheeks flush slightly each time he'd hand the cup over to me. I'd sip, happy that the darkness of the late night was hiding the color of my cheeks, and then pass it back.
We finally made it back to the dorm. It's now late. Very late. I'm ready to climb into my bed, knowing that my first class is fairly early in the morning. But Tyler suggests an episode of the show we're watching together.
"I'm so full now that I don't know if I can fall asleep," he says through an almost pained expression on his face.
I agree that we can watch an episode, and tease him about too many milkshakes. I agree because I want him to feel better so he can sleep. I agree because he wants to and because he asked. I agree because it feels nice to be included. But I really agree because even though I'm tired, I don't want the night to end. This night that I got to spend with Tyler. This night where so much has happened, where I've felt so nice, and when it feels like we're getting even closer in our friendship. I agree and he turns the show on. But of course, one episode turns into two, which turns into three. I don't even remember falling asleep. Tyler's commentary and our jokes and conversation, usually loudly over the dialogue, had kept me awake for so many episodes, but I must've lost against my body's need for sleep. And now I was waking to Tyler's alarm.
I don't want to open my eyes. I don't want to wake up. I don't want to abandon the rest that my body requires, that it's begging for. But if I stay asleep, I could miss seeing Tyler getting ready. No matter the fact of what happened the night before, I still didn't want to miss it. Semi-reluctantly I roll over to face Tyler's bed. But he's not there. I rub my eyes getting the sleep out and making sure I can see clearly. But I look again and sure enough, he's not there. Did he already leave and head on his way to class?
Just then, I hear a bump come from the bathroom. I realize that he must be in the shower or using the restroom, so I lay there waiting until he returns to the room, wondering what kind of show I'll get today. He steps out from the bathroom door. He's fully dressed. I can't deny that I'm a little disappointed. He walks over to his alarm to turn it off.
"Morning," he says lowly as if not to wake me, "sorry about the alarm."
"Oh, no worries. I should probably be getting up too. Even though I really don't want to."
"I get ya bud. Well I gotta head out so I'm not late. I'll catch you later this evening?" he asked.
"Yeah. I'll be here," I responded, and he bounded out the door.
I turned back over onto my back and began to stare up at the ceiling. I thought about the previous night. About us both jerking off in the same room. The fact that I had never done it before made the whole situation so thrilling for me. It seemed like Tyler had done it before, and so it may not have been a big deal to him. But it was a big deal to me. Was I making too much of this? Probably so. Almost definitely so. But I couldn't help it.
It wasn't just the fact that he was so attractive. Or that I'd gotten to see glimpses of him for so long now, stealing glances toward his direction whenever he would peel off his clothes. I think it was the intention of his to get naked, knowing that I was already naked, and his intention to jerk his dick when he knew I had already been jerking my own. And let's not forget the fact that when he finally did pull his dick out of his pants, he had chubbed up. What had caused that? Was it me? Was it my nakedness? My own hard cock? Again, I'm getting way ahead of myself and surely making more out of this than I should be.
BUT, then you add the fact of how we spent the evening. Dinner, milkshakes, conversation, jokes, sharing another milkshake (with only one straw!) our walk back to the dorm, and then him wanting to stay up to watch tv. Was all this due to us just being friends? Could it be even fractionally possible that it could have any other meaning attached to it? I knew I was gay and it seemed like I had it bad for Tyler. But was he gay? He'd never mentioned it outright, but he also didn't' really talk about dating all that much. So, it could technically be possible. But maybe I'm filling my head with an impossible situation that would only lead to getting my feelings hurt. I needed to stop thinking about us together. He was just my roommate. And my friend. And that's all it would probably ever amount to. And that would have to be okay. But I still couldn't get my mind off of him. And his body. And his cock. I reached down between my legs and felt myself beginning to harden. I look over at my own alarm clock. Shit, I definitely didn't have enough time to get off. I threw on some clothes quickly and raced out the door to my first class of the day. Hopefully I can get off this evening. And who knows - maybe Tyler would join in again.
Wouldn't that be fun?
Class was rough. I had a couple of pop quizzes that I was unprepared for. Honestly, I should have spent last night going over notes for those classes. I knew the professors were the pop quiz type. It was almost predictable, and I knew I didn't know the material well enough. But instead of studying, or even skimming over the notes, I spent the night hanging with Tyler. We had a good time. I definitely did. But I should have worked studying into the night. But the whole jerking off situation had thrown me off. Not only that, but the fact that he wanted to hang out after was also fun.
Now, I've had fantasies about stuff happening like this for years. I always dreamed someone would want to mess around with me. Whether it was a friend or a secret boyfriend (keep in mind that I was and still am very much in the closet.) I've wanted something to happen like this for as long as I could remember. But I always figured that after it did, things would be super awkward and could make the friendship strain and fall non-existent. And I've wondered if that would be worth it - to have a good time with a friend' but then have the friendship fall apart. I was always too scared to risk it with any of my real friends. I didn't want to ruin anything I had over one fun night. And I was also scared the whole gay thing would turn my life upside down -- people being mean or homophobic, losing friends, etc. etc. And when I've read true' stories online about other closeted guys trying things like this, it's often ended that way. Losing friends over a wank. That's one of the reasons I was so freaked when Tyler caught me.
Him catching me could have made things super awkward. It could have thrown our whole friendship into the bin, especially if I had tried to initiate it into something more. But when Tyler DID initiate it, I froze, not knowing if I should follow his lead. Would this destroy this new friendship I was trying to build? Would it make being roommates with him hard and uncomfortable? I wasn't sure, but when Tyler started pulling his clothes off, my dick started doing the thinking for me. I fell into it, and it was so much fun. My younger self was jumping up and down inside, thrilled that I was finally getting to experience a fantasy that I had held onto for so long.
Of course, I would have loved for even more to happen. I would have loved for him to make his way over to my bed and sit next to me. Would have loved for him to ask me to grab his cock, or to reach over and handle mine. Would have loved for us to have made each other cum by stroking each other at the same time. But I would settle for whatever was given to me. I would happily jerk my cock on my bed while he jerked his on his bed 5 feet away from me. Just to be able to see and watch him jerk off was giving me a major thrill. And honestly, made me cum harder than I had in a long time.
So, should I have actually studied for my classes last night? Absolutely. Do I regret not studying to spend time with Tyler? Absolutely not. I'd do it all over again given the chance. And I hope I do get the chance. But again, it wasn't JUST the jerking off part that was so much fun to me. Just hanging with Tyler, talking for hours almost like we've been friend for years, the walk home, asking to watch tv together even though it's late. The sheer WANT to hang out and spend time together is what really did it for me.
I rushed back to the dorm since my classes were done, wondering what I might find. Would the tables be turned and I walk in to find Tyler with his cock out this time? Oh gosh. I REALLY hope that's how this day ends.
I make my way up the stairs to our floor, taking two at a time, and stand in front of our door. I slowly and sneakily slide my key into the keyhole. Then all at once, I swiftly turn the key and doorknob throwing the door open and scan the room looking for Tyler, wishing, hoping, and praying to catch him in the same position that he caught me in. But he's not there.
`Damn!' I think to myself.
I was hoping to find him sprawled out on his bed, stark naked, cock out and already boned up. No such luck. I know that I'm putting too much on this. I shouldn't have any expectations. Expectations often lead to disappointment. In all reality, this very possibly was a one-time thing. He caught me. I was already halfway through with the process. He just joined. It may never happen again. And me expecting it to, will probably just leave me with blue balls.
But I'll be damned if I couldn't stop myself. I wanted to get off this morning before my classes but I was running late and didn't have time. Now, here I am, room to myself with a growing boner and I'm stopping myself from jumping on the bed and shucking my clothes to grab onto my dick. Why don't I just take care of it? I don't want to admit it to myself, but the honest truth is that deep down I'm hoping that Tyler will walk through that door at any moment and say:
"Hey dude! Had a great time jerking with you last night. It was fun! Down to do it again? Pull that cock out buddy!"
I shake my head at myself, thinking how stupid I am and trying to get my mind off it. Then I try to remember Tyler's schedule. Does he have another class later? Do I have enough time to bust one out? Or is today the day when he gets out early? Does he have work this evening? I couldn't remember, the lack of sleep likely catching up with me.
`I wonder if I'm naked on my bed again, if that would initiate Tyler into doing the same so we can jerk again,' I think to myself.
"What the fuck! Stop it!"I say to myself out loud.
I have to stop this. Seriously! To get my mind off of it, I sat on my bed and pulled out my notes from my backpack. I looked over what I missed on the quizzes from earlier in the day and then tried to look ahead to chapters for next week. I realized after trying to reread a paragraph for the 4th time that it wasn't sticking. My mind was still on Tyler. And still on my cock. Okay, studying wasn't going to work. But where was he? Was he avoiding me? Maybe he thinks things are weird now and he doesn't want to come back to the room. Now I'm stressing out. I don't want things to be weird and I definitely don't want him to avoid me.
I laid back on my bed, and reached for the remote to turn on the TV. I search through the channels trying to find something to occupy my mind.
I flip the channels.
Seen it.
Seen it.
Rerun.
Dumb remake.
Seen it.
Boring.
There's nothing on. Nothing is interesting me right now.
I think to myself, `Maybe Tyler will be back soon. I could just strip down and see what happens?'
No! I'm not going to do that. It would seem like it was planned. Like I was almost begging for it to happen again. (I mean, I basically was. But I didn't want it to seem that way. I don't want to ruin this.) I'm not going to be naked on my bed waiting for him to walk in. It would be way too obvious. But what if it wasn't so obvious? I stand up from my bed and peel off my clothes down to my underwear and toss them into my dirty clothes pile. I walk over and pull out a pair of shorts from my dresser. They are, admittedly, one of my shortest shorts that I own. I don't put on a shirt. My mind is arguing with itself as I lay down.
-You're so stupid. This is so obvious.
-No, it'll just look like I got hot and took my shirt off.
-Do you seriously think he's that stupid? He's going to know what you're doing!
-No he won't! And maybe he'll follow suit and strip down too.
-You're so desperate. This is pathetic.
-Should I turn the air up so it actually is a little warm in here? That way he'll definitely strip too?
This is where I stop myself. There's no way I'm changing the temp in the room in hopes that he strips down. I'm not a psycho. I lay back and cover my face with my hands trying to regain my sanity from the war in my head and in my pants. I turn over on my side, eyes closed, and take some deep breaths.
When I wake up, it's dark outside. I stretch out my hand to search for the lamp on my bedside table and flip the switch. Soft light touches the corners of the room and I sit up, rubbing my eyes trying to figure out where I am, what time it is, etc. As I sit up, a blanket falls down from my shoulders and bunches into my lap. That's weird. I didn't mean to fall asleep, and I don't remember getting under a blanket. I'm still coming to, making sense of what happened, when I notice a piece of paper on my nightstand. It's from Tyler. It says:
`Hey bud.
I stopped by after my classes to see if you wanted to grab some dinner before I had to leave for work but you were sacked out! Probably because of the late night last night. Sorry again about that. I didn't wake you because I figured you needed the sleep. I have to work closing shift tonight so I'll be late. If you're not up when I get back, I'll catch you tomorrow. Have a good night!
P.S. -- I threw a blanket over you. You looked a bit cold.
-Tyler'
I fell back onto my pillow and laid there. I missed him coming back to the room and would probably miss him coming back after work. But he covered me up. Things are okay. He wasn't avoiding me. I took a deep breath. And settled back into a comfortable position, likely just going to go back to sleep.
Wait. He covered me up. He saw me, thought I was cold, and thought to cover me up. Is that something a normal roommate would do? Or could it be something else?