Well guys and girls, this completes the first 6 chapters of my story. I only sent one chapter in because it is longer then the normal ones. I want to thank everyone who has written me asking for more and giving me good feed back. Keep the comments coming. You all can email me at creativewriter12@aol.com.
Disclaimer: This story is not true. Its Fake. Pure Fiction. This never ever happened. I don't know the sexuality of Dean Cain. What I do know is that the characters in this story are mine. Please do not steal them. Everything on this page is copyright 2001 Robert J Ainsworth. You must be 18 or 21 depending on your local laws to read this as this story does deal with male to male sex at times. That being said, please enjoy the story and remember-- write me!!! CreativeWriter12@aol.com
Chapter 6
"Gosh Dean, love at first sight. Well to be honest with you I have never given it much though because it has never happened to me at all. I am sure it is out there but... I don't know. Why do you ask?'
"Oh just something that has been playing on my mind."
"Oh, I see, well who ever this guy is that has you all wrapped up I hope that he treats you right. I am sure he is a very lucky person."
"Well, I like him, even though I just met him. You know how the movie star life is. Going different places and meeting different people. I mean it is bound to happen some time."
"Yea I guess you are right Dean. Funny how things like that happen. I have always been told that when you are looking for love it never happens, but the moment you aren't looking is when it hits you square in the face."
"So true. You have no idea. But the only draw back is that your heart tells you to run with it and your mind is saying `I don't know if you should be doing this.'"
I had to give Dean credit. It seemed like he was reading my mind, however it wasn't love at first sight with me for Dean. I mean I have always had a thing for him and so it wasn't like I had just met him off the street. I knew who he was and followed his acting career. I am not even sure who he was talking about, but all I knew was that this guy who had Dean's heart was a very special guy.
"Well Dean, just remember that there are times to jump without looking, and then there are times that you really need to look. Just use your better judgment."
We sat there for a minute and I went to the movie cabinet and picked another movie. I put in one of my other favorite moves. Starship Troopers. I love Sci Fi films and this one was a good one for me. It was kinda campy but still good.
"What did you put in?" Dean asked.
"Don't think this is too strange but I put in Starship Troopers. I love that movie. To be honest I am a real big Sci Fi buff too."
"That is ok. I like this movie too. Kinda hard not to get wrapped up in this sort of stuff when you are Superman."
We sat there and watched the entire movie. About half way through the movie I noticed that dean had nodded of in my lap. I don't know what made me start running my hands through his hair but I just started doing it. I looked down at Dean and he had a smile on his face. He really seemed to be enjoying his day. Just a nice quiet day without a lot to do.
I sat there and continued to stroke his hair. I was lost in my own little world. A lot had happened in the past two days and I am glad that I wasn't in over load. I mean I managed to make one of my dreams come true, meeting Dean face to face, and now here I was with his head in my lap taking a nap. I kinda had a warm fuzzy feeling in me.
Then it hit me. Was Dean talking about falling in love with me earlier? I didn't think anything of it. I just figured that he was talking about someone else. You know how that is, sometime when you have to hide the true self you don't know how to proceed with a little bit of understand when it comes to the real you.
God, what in the world would I do if Dean was hinting at love at first sight about me. I didn't think that could be true. I am not the usual guy that anyone that meets me will fall head over heels for me. Besides a relationship with Dean would never work. He is always in the public eye. Could you imagine what the news media would say if they saw him in a gay bar. I wouldn't be able to hold his hand on the street like I could with a non-famous boyfriend.
"What are you thinking about?" Dean asked as he looked up at me. I guess I must have stopped stroking his hair and he noticed this.
"Nothing too important, I was just letting my mind wonder."
"Did you wonder about anything good?" he asked with a smile on his face.
I really wanted to ask him about our earlier conversation. There was part of me that had to know. But it was too son to be talking about love and relationship. I mean I had just gotten to know the real Dean and I felt that I was just scratching the surface of really knowing him.
"I am not quiet sure. Given time it could be but right now it is too early to tell."
With that Dean had this funny look on his face. It was almost like disappointment. I had to be the one to stay level headed here. I really was looking out for his best interest. I wouldn't want to see his job or his work suffer because of me, which really isn't like me because I would be the first person to tell anyone to be their selves. Be proud of who they are and to not hide it. But when you are in the public eye all the time and most of America is still having issues of dealing with social taboos it is difficult to tell someone to just be themselves.
We sat and watch a couple more movies. I ordered pizza for dinner and had a nice evening. By the time it was 10 o'clock, I was pretty sleepy and I knew that I had to get Dean to his hotel room or trailer. I wasn't quiet sure where he was staying at.
"Dean, I hate to cut this short, but it is kinda getting late and I know that both you and I have to work in the morning. But at least you get to sleep in."
"Hey, not as late as you think, but I have to agree with you and besides I don't think it would look too good if I showed up at work wearing the same clothes I was in yesterday."
"Well, let me grab my keys and we will be off."
I grabbed my keys from the table and we walked to the front door. Before I could open it Dean grabbed my arm and pulled me into a hug. He felt so safe and so warm. I looked up at him and he looked into my eyes. It seemed like he wanted to say something but instead he leaned down and kissed me. This kiss was different from the others we had had over the weekend. There seemed to be passion in this kiss. It was filled with caring and understanding. It also felt as if he was asking me to stay the night again. But we both knew that that wasn't possible. We both had commitments that we had to keep. From this kiss I also knew that this would be the last time that I see Dean.
The drive back to his trailer was pretty quiet. It was almost as if we didn't want to say anything. When I pulled up we sat there for a minute.
"Hey Rob, would you mind if I called you. Maybe we could go out and do something. As you know I don't really know anyone here and it gets pretty boring when you are all alone."
"Dean anytime, I am usually home every night. Kind of a home body and like to be a good boy when it comes to school nights."
"I understand what you mean. Well I better let you go. I'll call you later. You have a good day at work."
"Thanks Dean and you too, and don't work too hard tomorrow. Talk to you soon."
The drive home was pretty quiet. I was lost in though over what had happened over the weekend. I then felt very embarrassed about my outburst that had happen last night and this morning. I mean god I was way too emotional. I probably wont hear from Dean again anyways.
There wasn't a guy that I knew that would want to get involved with a guy that had the emotional baggage that I had. That was why I was still going to the doctors and still had to take sleeping pills sometimes. I am sure that the last thing that Dean needed was to get involved with someone like me.
By the time I got home I was completely depressed now. That is one thing that I hate about myself. I think too much and when I do I usually make myself depressed over it. It really is one of my short falls, I over analyze everything. Then I start placing blame on myself.
I walked into my house and went upstairs and went to bed for the night. It was a peaceful sleep. That night I had a dream that I was with Dean. We were on a mountain top; all of our friends were there. Dean and I were standing at the edge of a cliff. There was a priest there. He was speaking, both Dean and I were looking into each other's eyes. There was such happiness in his eyes. I felt happy also.
Beep Beep Beep. I hit the alarm snooze button. I just wasn't ready to get out of bed. I needed time to make sense of my dream. I was a strange dream. When the second alarm went off, I crawled out of bed without thinking anymore about my dream. I got ready for work and didn't give it a second though.
When I got home that evening I noticed that there were a couple of messages on my answer machine. I went over and hit the Play Button.
"Hey Rob, it's Josh. I just wanted to see how your weekend went. Call me and give me all the dish about the shoot and Dean. I have some more ideas about the party too. I should be home all evening, call when you can. Love ya honey."
"Rob, its Addy. I just wanted to see how you were doing. Wanted to know how everything went on Saturday. Just give me a call."
"Hey Rob, its Dean. I just wanted to see how your day went. I also wanted to let you know that I had a really nice time this weekend. Thank you for letting me be myself and I hope we can spend more time together. Give me a call anytime you want. I'm not too busy and it would be a welcome break. Talk to you soon."
That was the end of my messages. I decided that I would call Josh and Addy from work tomorrow. I picked up the phone and dialed Dean's number.
"Hello?"
"Hey Dean, its Rob, how are you doing?"
"Hey Rob, I was just thinking about you. I am doing great here, how are you?"
"Not too bad, just got home from work. Looking forward to a nice quiet evening. How about you?"
"Yea I know what you mean, just another evening in my hotel room. I'm not going to stay in the trailer tonight. The bed isn't too comfortable."
"Hey I can understand that one. Those beds were very comfortable. I remember when I used to go camping and we used to take their trailer with us. God I hated sleeping in that thing. Just never felt very comfortable."
"Yea, but that is ok. We all make do with what we have. So how was programming today? Hope you had fun at work at least. I know it is difficult to go to work when you don't enjoy what you are doing."
"It was pretty ok. Got another one of my projects completed. Looks like I will have everything completed by Friday, which is a good thing and I wont have to work over the weekend."
"Well, that is very good to hear. So do you have any plans yet?"
"Not right now, I was thinking about going to Keys to see a couple of my friend perform in the Kitty Litter Show."
"The Kitty Litter Show? What is that?"
"Well my friend Josh co hosts the Drag show there with Kitty Litter. His stage name is Ginger Grant and I love them both to bits. They are really good people and I love going to their shows just to see them. They do some funny stuff there and always have me rolling with laughter."
We had talked for another half hour when the doorbell rang. I was expecting anyone and was wondering if it was Patrick. Sometimes he had a habit of just showing up without calling.
"Hey Dean, can you hold a minute? There is someone at the door."
"Yea sure Rob."
I went to the door and unlocked it. When I opened it I got the biggest surprise of my life. There standing before me was Dean with the biggest grin on his face.
"Hey Dean, I have to run. My Avon lady is here and I need to order some things."
I hung up the phone and latched onto Dean and pulled him into the house. As soon as the door was closed I wrapped my arms around him and planted the longest kiss I could muster on him. We stood like that for about 10 minutes. I was never so glad to see someone in my life like I was when I saw him standing there. Finally I let go of him, coming up for breath.
"Hi Rob, its nice to see you too."
"What are you doing here? I though you were in your trailer. How did you get here?"
"Well, call me selfish but I just wanted to come over and see you. Don't worry I had the film company rent a car for me. I would never dream of having someone drive me to a person's house. Especially when that person doesn't know my driver. "
"Ah, that is so sweet. I have never had a guy tell me that they just wanted to see me. Well, come on in. Have you had dinner yet? I was just going to make some dinner for myself."
"No I haven't. Don't tell me you can cook too."
"Yea, just call me the Swiss Army Guy. My great grandmother was a master chef and so I pick up a lot from her. Come on you can help me. I love cooking. It has a relaxing feeling for me."
We walked into the kitchen and I put Dean to the task of making a salad; something that I thought that he could handle without a lot of guidance from me. While Dean was making that I pulled out a couple of chicken breasts. I took the chicken and threw some spices on them then placed them in the oven. I then put a pot of water on for some rice. I had decided that this wasn't going to be a special dinner. I would have to plan that for later; a time when I had the change to cook all day long and really pour my heart into it.
I opened a bottle of red wine and poured Dean a glass. He was almost done with the salad and so I decided to set the table. I knew the chicken would be ready for another hour so I had time. I turned the water down to a slow boil. When I finished setting the table Dean was standing in the door way just looking at me.
"What are you staring at?"
"Just watching you. I have never met a guy who takes pride in how he presents himself and worries how everything looks. I think its kinda cute and to be honest its refreshing to see someone take pride in their presentation. Hollywood is so fake; everyone goes to get themselves dolled up for a big event. That isn't the real them. You on the other hand you are the real you. Nothing hidden, just you."
"Dean come with me for a minute please."
I grabbed his hand and lead him outside to the backyard. I wanted to talk to Dean and I wanted to be in a place where I knew I could be completely relaxed when I told him what I had been thinking. I knew that I was going to be nervous but I had to be honest with him, it was only fair. We walked outside and sat down.
"Dean I am not sure what is going on here. You have asked a couple of funny questions and they have gotten me thinking. When you asked me about love at first sight I didn't give it a second though. I thought that you were talking about someone else. The reason for this is that I have always had a crush on you. I never miss any of the shows you are in, I feel like I am on the verge of being obsessed with you. My friends think I am completely nuts. I was completely shocked when you came out to me. I didn't know what to say. And then when you kissed me for the first time I was on cloud nine. Last night I had a dream. It was a very intense dream. We were on a mountain top; all of our friends were there. You and I were standing at the edge of a cliff. There was a priest there. He was speaking; both you and I were looking into each other's eyes. I wasn't sure what was happening. We just both looked so happy. But with all good things there are bad things too. There are a lot of problem that I am in the middle of dealing with. I don't want to drag you into them. I was pretty embarrassed about what happened the other night. I don't want to scare you and have you think that I am nuts. Besides you have your life in Hollywood and I would never dream of being able to be with you in the way that I know we both want to be. The public eye can be a very bad thing at times. It could ruin your career and then you would never be able to do any more acting again. I don't think I could deal with the fact that I was the one who cost you your job. It just wouldn't be fair to you."
Dean sat there for a couple of minutes. It felt like I had known him my entire life the way I just poured everything on the line with him. I wasn't sure what he was thinking. I tried not to think that what I had just said was stupid. I was also scared again that I had misjudged everything that had happened since Saturday night. Of course this is one of my other short falls. I always jump to conclusion before I have all the facts. Kinda unusual since I am a certified paralegal. I guess that is why I am working in the computer industry, I get to start at the end and work my way back. Just then Dean leaned forward with a smile on his face.
"Rob, first of all I completely understand where you are coming from. It would be a big undertaking for anyone I am with. Secondly to be completely honest I was talk about you when I had mentioned the love at first sight. However I didn't think you were interested because of the way you answered me. Granted I know what it must have sounded like. I am just glad that you didn't take it as if I was just some actor that was interested in having a one night stand or anything like that. You know those guys that would say anything, have their way, and then never hear from them again. But seriously there are things in life that you just feel and that there is nothing you can do to control it. When I stood there watching you set the table I thought that you were the guy that had everything. You have a home, a good job, the personality where you care about everything that is in your life, a good group of friends, and very nice family that supports you, and you have your head on straight. You shouldn't be embarrassed about what happened the other night. It also shows me that you are a human being. Those are all qualities that I am looking for in the guy that I want to be with. I knew that you were different when you were in my trailer and didn't even feel uncomfortable when I was rubbing that burn cream on your back. Then you allowed me to spend the weekend with you and I felt that that was something that I needed. Very badly, I have never been able to just lie on a couch and watch movies all day long and just be myself, except when I am at home with my wife. I so want to be with a guy like you. It is so lonely right now. I am so lonely... Rob, I want to be with you. I find myself falling in love with you. For me it is love at first sight and it just feels right."
With that said Dean stood up and walked over to me. He held out his had and I took it. He pulled my up and held me in his arms. I looked up into his eyes and he leaned down to kiss me. We kissed for the longest time. It felt so romantic. He looked great in the moon light. Then I realized that dinner was still in the oven. I grabbed Dean's hand and lead him into the house.
Thank goodness the chicken wasn't burnt. I threw the rice in the pot and turned the burner off. It would only take about 10 minutes for it to cook and this would give the chicken time to rest before serving. I went into the dining room and decided to do something different. I got a couple of candles out and lite them. I turned out the lights and went back into the kitchen. I walked up to Dean and gave him a kiss. I grabbed his hand and lead him into the dining room.
"Getting a little romantic aren't we?" Dean asked with a little grin on his face.
"Well, the mood kinda changed tonight and I though I would follow suit. Besides I thought I could make this our first official date. Even though I don't usually have my first dates come over to my house. But I can make an exception in this case."
Dean grinned at me as I went back into the kitchen and finished making dinner. When I walked back in I stopped in my tracks. Dean looked so sexy in that candle light, he sat there was the biggest smile on his face. In a way I kinda felt like Suzie Homemaker servicing dinner. I placed the plates down and sat down. We ate our dinners and talked.
"Dean if we were to make a go of this, how well would I fit in your life. I know for a fact that I like to do things that you wouldn't be able to do. I like to go and see my friend perform at a local bar. I am not sure you would be able to go. I like being about to hold hands in public and show the world the guy I am in love with. I want to be able to dance at sunset on the beach with my guy. But I also like the home life too and I know that isn't an issue. I am just unsure of how things will work."
"Rob, I am no expert on relationships. I have never been in one either. But what I am feeling is that with some faith I am sure things will work out. I too have things in my life that you wont be able to do. How would it look if I took you to every shoot that I went to and you weren't on the payroll? Public and private social events would be the same way. It is just very tough. But I have a feeling that things would all work out. Just have faith and everything will be fine."
"Hey Dean, I want to dance with you right now. I have just the perfect song for you. Meet me out by the pool and I will get the CD."
"Ok Rob. See you in a minute then." Dean said as he leaned over and kissed me on the way out.
I went and got my CD and put it in the player and walked out and took Dean in my arms.
I wanna be that guy who can say youre mine when were standing in the movie line I wanna pick you out of the crowd shout it out so loud so everyone hears me and I would give you the world but if you decide thats not what you like if you wanna keep this quiet then baby
I'll be our secret if you can keep it and ill be your friend if you really need and i'l be the answer to your eyes if youre willing to give me a try i'll be your secret
sometimes I feel like tearing down these walls that keep me strapped inside I wanna take away that doubt show that what im about so that cant ignore me and I would hold you tonite but no no no no thats not what they like they wanna keep us quiet then baby
I'll be our secret if you can keep it and ill be your friend if you really need and i'l be the answer to your eyes if youre willing to give me a try i'll be your secret
dont let them tell you how to be jus open up your eyes and see that you belong to me... why should we care what people say why should we let them stand in out way you dont have to be afraid
I'll be your secret if you can keep it and i'll be your friend jus tell me you need it and i'll be the answer to your eyes
if youre willin to give me a try I wanna pick you out of the crowd shout it out so loud I wanna give you the world and let me be the answers to your eyes let me be your secret I wanna give you the world but if thats not what you like then I'll be your secret if you can keep it...
Dean and I listened to the song and slowly dance. He looked really good in the moon light. The light bounced off the pool and reflected off his face. There was happiness in his eyes. He had a pleasant smile on his face. He just looked so sexy. He leaned down and kissed me. For some reason this just felt right and I was completely happy. Then the song finished and we continued to kiss. We finally broke free after kissing for awhile.
"Come on Dean, Let's go to bed."
I'll Be You Secret Copyright Tim James 2000