My Theory of Justice By: Edwin E.
Disclaimer: This story deals with male/male relationships in high school; don't read if you're not supposed to. This story is complete fiction: the people, places, situations, email addresses, etc, mentioned below never existed.
Quick note: Though this story is chronological, it's not entirely linear. But I'm sure that won't be a problem for y'all, right? :-)
Part III: Resilience
Tanya spent twenty minutes sitting next to Adrian on his bed, listening to the details of all that had occurred in the past few days: the seduction of Brad at the party over the weekend, and the resulting confrontation with Philip just yesterday. As Adrian's best friend, she was the closest thing he had to a confidante - someone with whom he could share at least a few of his more deeper thoughts and secrets. However, just as with everything else in Adrian's life, their relationship was rather complex.
For instance, her loyalty to him was beyond reproach; he would never have to fear losing her to Philip or to anyone else. Though most people seemed to align themselves with Adrian out of a mixture of fear and respect, she actually liked him - despite her knowledge of his none-too-subtle wickedness. It could not be denied that she liked the thrill of hanging around the most popular man in school, especially when he flexed his power. But more importantly, she saw some good in him; good that was hiding behind the veneer of his projected persona (though, to be honest, some of the goodness she saw may just have been in her imagination).
"So I was thinking of making Brad a regular fuck," Adrian said as he munched on those little Cheese Puffs shaped like balls. "He's a bit of moron. I mean, how does a closeted boy forget to erase the site history after he uses the computers at school, especially when he travels to gay-oriented websites? That's just plain stupid. But despite his penchant for carelessness, I'd make an exception in his case since he was a pretty damn good lay."
"What if he wants nothing to do with you?" Tanya asked with growing discomfort as she sat up a bit on the bed.
"Like he has a fuckin' choice!" He laughed slightly. "The way I see it, he doesn't want to be outed, and by keeping my mouth shut I'm providing a service. In return, all I ask is that he put out."
"So you'd out him if he doesn't sleep with you again?" She asked carefully.
"In a heartbeat," he replied happily.
Tanya eyed him critically, unnerving him a bit. "Don't do that Adrian. You'd be a horrible asshole if you do," she said.
Ahh, here was the complexity of their relationship making itself known. Though Adrian knew no one as loyal as Tanya, she refused to become a mindless follower. Though her threshold for accepting some of Adrian's behavior was pretty high, she did have a limit. And where others would criticize him and receive punches to the face in return, she could do the same and yet suffer no consequences. She was the only person who could get away with berating him... and he hated it, but still liked her immensely.
So he looked at her and just sighed. "Tanya, he's one of Philip's closest friends. How can I possibly pass up this opportunity?"
"Normally I'd be right beside you Adrian," she said with more amiability in her voice. "But if Brad is just barely coming to terms with his sexuality, manipulating him like this would be so incredibly wrong. You do understand that, right?"
"What I understand is that there are consequences to actions," he reasoned as he got up from the bed and started pacing in his room. "Brad chose Philip and he chose to go to my party. Those two facts alone make him fair game - no matter what personal issues he's dealing with."
"Remember that you're the one that sent him an invitation to the party, even if it was through someone else."
"Doesn't matter; he could've not gone. Now it's open season on him."
Tanya sighed as she reached into the bag of Cheese Puffs and put a few into her mouth. She knew that when it came to advances against Philip's friends, Adrian's mind was pretty one-track. But she also knew she had to at least try and get him to view the situation from another perspective. You see, Adrian had no conscience; unlike every other person around, there was no little voice in his head telling him that something he was about to do was wrong.
But perhaps that's being a bit unfair and overly critical. Adrian did have the little voice in his head, but its nearly inaudible whisper was easily drowned out under the weight of a bruised psyche. His pain, working alongside his reason, was dictating his actions (especially when it came to Philip). Tanya, for some reason or other, understood this. Until something changed, SHE had to be his conscience; SHE had to try and wrestle his faculties away from the fuming shouts of three year's worth of suffering.
"Adrian," she began as she took his hand to get him to stop pacing. "We're so close to getting out of here and graduating. We're only nine months away! Do you really want to make this year even harder than it already will be? You, doing anything to Brad, are only going to escalate things with Philip and his crew. And if you do that, I'll be pissed." She gave him a smile.
He smiled back, a little more at ease with the conversation. He sat back down for a moment and ran his hands through his dark wavy hair. He shook his head a few times, as if trying to make sense of competing thoughts from competing voices. Fortunately for everyone involved, Tanya was having an affect on him. At last his countenance softened and he sighed while grabbing some more Cheese Puffs.
"What if I told you that it wasn't just about making Philip angry or getting my rocks off?" He said with a half-full mouth.
"What do you mean?" She asked a bit confused. The thought of an ulterior motive - a motive not based on antagonizing Philip - was completely unheard of.
Adrian bit his lower lip, a nervous habit he developed when deciding whether or not to let go of a secret, or when he said something he hadn't planned on saying. But as often happened in this situation, he erred on the side of caution. "Never mind," he said quickly. After thinking a moment, he continued: "Tell you what, I'll try to make sure to not be too much of a dick, no matter what actions I take."
Tanya smiled. She was glad that he was at least willing to listen to her. "That's all I ask," she replied. "But this may all be moot anyway."
"And why is that?" He asked, somewhat surprised.
"I heard the coach talking in the office today. Apparently Philip isn't going to be playing in the Big Game this Friday."
"You're fuckin' kidding me, right?" Adrian exclaimed in disbelief. Tanya just shook her head and smiled.
"That son of a bitch," was all he could say.
Meanwhile
"Did you come up with a plan for Brad?" Amanda asked Philip once they got their ice cream and began walking to the park after an uneventful school day.
"Sort of," he answered. "But to be honest, Brad's gonna need a whole lot of luck to get out of this."
"How so?"
"What Adrian is holding over his head, he's willing to use cuz he considers Brad weak or of little consequence," Philip began. "Just like a bully picks on the weak nerds, Adrian will go after those he figures can't stand up to him."
"I wouldn't consider Brad weak, though," Amanda interrupted.
"Me neither," Philip agreed as they took a seat on a park bench. "I love Brad to death; he's one of my favorites. But Adrian knows that right now, when it comes to this school, Brad's voice carries little weight."
"So this is all pretty serious?"
"For Brad? Yeah."
"God! Adrian must be heartless to mess around like this," Amanda said.
"Yup," Philip agreed. A couple of squirrels scurried to and fro near the seated friends. Philip smiled and snapped a piece of his waffle cone off and held it toward the squirrels that were about five yards away. These particular squirrels always shied away from humans. But with Philip it was different: they stopped running all over the place and hopped right up to him and took the piece of waffle cone from his hand. Even more remarkable was that they didn't run bac k to the tree with their prize; they stayed near him and let him pet them.
"But he's always been like that, to a certain extent," Philip continued as he fed the squirrels more of his dessert. "Even in the Old Time, it took him longer than most to understand why some things were right and some wrong. The fine line between right and wrong was always blurry to him so he had to think harder than others did when it came to his actions. Back then, though, he always ended up making the right choice. But now, I doubt he even takes the time to think about it anymore. He just does what he wants, for whatever reason he wants."
"And now he wants to screw Brad over," Amanda stated.
"Yeah," Philip said, nodding inwardly at the apt choice of words.
"And that's why you're not playing this Friday?"
"Pretty much. If I don't play then Brad starts as QB. And if he beats our rivals... Adrian won't dare to start anything: Brad will have instant clout."
"You sure about that?"
"Positive," Philip answered with a smile, a small drop of his mint chocolate chip ice cream gathered at the corner of his mouth. "Adrian's hard to understand, but he's bound by his ambition. He will NEVER do anything to jeopardize his status here, especially during senior year. All Brad has to do is win on Friday and he'll be safe. But even with my help at practice this week, I don't know if he can do it."
"I'm sure it will all work out in the end," Amanda said reassuringly. Philip smiled, handed the squirrel the rest of his cone, and hoped Amanda was right.
Back at Adrian's house, Tanya and Adrian had finally gotten around to studying after their initial conversation. It was clear that he was still upset at the news of Philip's decision to not play in the Big Game. Adrian was no idiot: after spending a lifetime with Philip, he knew how his former friend thought (which is what made the two such formidable opponents). Adrian had already predicted Philip's plan - a plan that was pretty much left out of his hands.
"Adrian?" Tanya said, knocking her host out of his thoughts. "Did you hear what I said?"
"Huh? Oh, uh... sorry. I guess I spaced out for a second."
"I said I don't know why this statement is incomplete: 'The essence of American Democracy is the rule of the majority.' Cuz it looks right to me."
Adrian had to shake his head again to clear out of his fog. "Uh, it should be 'rule of the majority with respect to the rights of the minority,'" he said with his mind still unable to fully focus.
"Hey. Focus. You're no use to me when you can't give me the answers all the time," she said playfully.
"Sorry," he smiled. "But I just know Philip's gonna ruin this for me. I can feel it."
"So what? We'll find some other way for you to have fun," she tried to reassure.
"How?"
Tanya perked up a bit and put down her textbook. "Actually, now that you mention it, I do have some other news. Apparently we're going to have a new student coming in sometime this week or next week: Jude... something or other. I had to file his transfer papers this morning in the office during my free period. I'm telling you Adrian, he's FINE!"
"How fine?" He asked with renewed energy.
"Damn fine! I swear, he could give you and Philip a run for your money. I really think you should try to befriend him. Shit, if you can't hook up with him, then I might as well try."
"Hmm," he said, sinking back into a chair to think (while trying to not show his disapproval at being compared with Philip). When making any decision, Adrian would look ten miles down the road at the possible future benefits he could cull from them. "Nah. There's no point in getting to know anyone new. Even if he's hot, he's coming in so late. By the time he establishes any sort of rep around here, he'll be of little use to me."
"What if I told you that Philip's signed up to get him acquainted with the school?"
"Really?" He asked with more interest. He took another moment to think. "No, it doesn't matter. There'd still be no point. Besides, with all the proposals coming into the council in the next few weeks, I'm gonna be swamped. I won't have time to make new friends, shit I'm already falling behind in AP Comp & Lit."
"Okay, but just so you know, I'm gonna try to get in his pants."
"Go for it girl," he said with a huge grin on his face. After they studied some more for another hour, Tanya left to make it to her house before dinner.
Despite Tanya's obvious reservations, Adrian was desperate to get Brad into the fold. But he was sincere when he mentioned the possibility of a more benign motive for remaining rather obsessed with him. This too was true of Adrian: every once in a great while, his malevolence would crack amid a brilliant flash of...lesser malevolence. Now, since he knew Friday's game would decide the level to which he could control Brad in the future, inroads had to be made within the next few days.
Brad had two goals for Wednesday and Thursday: practice as much as possible to prepare for the game, and avoid Adrian at all costs. When Philip told him he was ducking out of the Big Game, Brad felt overwhelmed. On the one hand, he was ecstatic at finally being given the chance to prove himself to the team and to the school. On the other hand, however, he knew his talent was less than that of Phillip. What if they lost again? This time it would be on his trembling hands. But above all, Brad was moved at Philip's generosity in stepping aside to help him deal with Adrian.
As part of this counter-plan, Philip instructed Brad to stay away from Adrian the entire week. "He can't bother you if he can't find you," Philip had said. So Brad made sure to seclude himself during breaks and at lunch. After football practice, he would get a ride with Philip, ensuring that Adrian wouldn't confront him.
Wednesday passed without a hitch in the plan. By the end of practice on Thursday, Brad had yet to even see Adrian at school. When Philip dropped him off in front of his house, Brad was confident that he could put on a good showing the next day. He was all-smiles as he opened the front door of his house.
But there was Adrian, sitting on the couch in the living room with legs crossed, thumbing through one of the decorative books on the coffee table.
"Well, hello there Bradley," Adrian said courteously as he stood up.
"Oh, Brad, thank goodness you're home!" His mom exclaimed cheerfully as she came out of the kitchen, wiping her hands on her apron. "Your poor friend has been here for the last half hour waiting for you to get back from practice."
"He's not my friend," Brad responded rather instinctively.
"Bradley don't be rude," his mother chided. "Did you want anything else to drink Adrian?"
"Oh, no thank you ma'am," he answered with unparalleled charm. "Once again thank you so very much for the hospitality."
"You're very welcome," she smiled. Brad could tell his mom was fond of the bastard. "Well I'll let you two 'hang out,' as you kids would say."
"Thank you ma'am," Adrian said as she made her way back to the kitchen. The two boys just stood in the living room, staring at each other.
"Well, aren't you going to invite me to your room?" Adrian asked in a low and sarcastic voice.
"NO!" Brad quietly yelled, not even trying to hide his contempt.
"I guess we can talk here," Adrian said while giving the living room a thorough look-over. "But what's your mom going to think when she hears the words 'cock,' 'balls,' and 'ass' during our conversation?"
Brad's eyes widened as he glanced around to make sure his mom hadn't overheard anything. "Fine! Follow me upstairs."
As they made it to the room, Brad immediately locked the door and spun around. "What the hell do you want?"
"I just want to talk. That's all," Adrian answered with mock surprise at Brad's hostility. "Well maybe not 'all,'" he continued with a deeply carnal look in his eyes. Adrian took a few steps toward Brad.
"No," Brad said as he stepped back. "I want you out of my house. NOW!"
"Lower your voice," Adrian snapped with a chilling severity that gave Brad a brief startle. "Don't forget who the hell you're talking to."
"Get out," Brad reiterated with less int ensity (though none left his eyes).
"I don't want a confrontation, Brad. I have a proposition for you."
"I don't want to hear it," Brad said, the anger beginning to give rise to confidence. Unfortunately, Adrian was damn near incapable of being intimidated.
"Hmmm. Ballsy," he responded with a smile and a steely look in his eyes. "Apparently Philip's been teaching you how to grow a spine. No matter." In two lightning quick (yet limp-laden) steps Adrian had moved close enough to Brad to deal a severe punch into his stomach. Having been caught off guard, and now with the wind knocked out of him, Brad stumbled to his knees, coughing uncontrollably.
"As I was saying," Adrian continued as he grabbed Brad by the shoulders and sat him on the edge of the bed. "You're obviously not out to anyone; neither am I. Of course you're in a much more vulnerable position seeing as how you haven't spent the last few years placing safeguards to ensure that secret is kept, unlike me."
"Get to the point," Brad managed to say, trying to regain his composure.
"The point, my friend, is that you must feel frustrated - in more ways than one. I can help you with that."
"So you want to be friends?" Brad asked confusedly as he stood up, the pain only beginning to subside.
Adrian just laughed. "Definitely not. Believe me, my standards aren't that low," he answered with unabashed cruelty. Brad's eyes fell to the floor; he hated feeling impotent in his own house with Adrian still calling all the shots.
Then, all of a sudden, a dramatic shift took place in Adrian's demeanor: he looked rather... friendly. His green eyes took on a light hue and didn't seem quite so menacing. So when he slowly took steps forward, there were no impulsive steps back on Brad's part.
"Brad, we all need someone to talk to - someone of the same ilk," Adrian said, taking another step. "You've gotta be needing to unload somehow; to vent your thoughts and feelings and frustrations; to share and compare experiences of being young...and hot... and gay," he continued in a remarkably seductive manner.
One would think that given the current circumstances, Brad would be able to easily brush off such babble from this enemy. But Adrian's ability to persuade cannot be emphasized enough. First and foremost, he knew what people wanted to hear, and used that to his advantage: Brad DID feel frustrated; he DID want to unload; he DID want to talk to someone.
Adrian was well aware of the fact that people could be so easily drawn to what they know they're supposed to stay away from. So he kept on with the seduction: the unrelenting eye contact, the sultry voice, the sexy half-smile, the ever so delicate touching of Brad's forearm with his fingertips. They were so close now they could kiss - their mouths just a few centimeters apart. But Adrian held back. Anticipation sounds the death knell of resilience. He let his breath warm Brad's mouth, nose, and cheeks. He gently moved his head to the right, letting his hair sweep across the side of Brad's face, whispering: "I can help you Brad."
After moving his face back in front, Adrian decided to put all this to an end: he leaned in and placed a gentle kiss on his victim. At first it was simple, just their lips briefly touching and separating. But then he moved in again, opening Brad's lips with his tongue. It was fair to assume Brad didn't have much experience, if any, kissing other guys, so Adrian made sure to make it as passionate as possible - perhaps trying to remind him of the fun they had last weekend.
If Adrian had stuck only to making out, Brad would have easily been in his pocket. Unfortunately for Adrian, his ambition got the best of him as he reached out front and started fondling Brad's crotch. That action woke Brad up, so to speak: his eyes pierced through the emotional illusion Adrian had created and his resilience ran to the fore. He gave Adrian a hard push.
"Get out," Brad let out, a bit breathless.
"What did you say?" Adrian asked, not having expected this turn of events.
"I said I want you out."
"Brad, you better think this over. I'm being reasonable here," Adrian said with a hint of fury beginning to shimmer in his cold eyes. "I highly recommend you take advantage of the opportunity I'm affording you."
"Reasonable?! Tell me, what are you going to do when I say no."
"Don't say 'no' and we won't have to find out," Adrian threatened.
The confidence Brad desperately needed had finally made itself known. He just smiled. "I want you out of my fuckin' house. Adrian, don't kid yourself: I may be 'frustrated,' but I'm not so far gone as to want to have anything to do with a monstrous asshole like you."
"Careful Brad," Adrian said coolly as his eyes darkened two shades.
"Whatever happened between us last weekend was a mistake - a product of liquor induced mood swings. I'm taking a page out of Philip's book and getting the hell away from you," Brad continued without missing a beat.
Adrian had had enough: remember, no one was ever allowed to speak to him like that. So he quickly reached out his arms and clasped the front of Brad's collared shirt, dragging Brad to him. With venom seething in his voice and his powerful arms holding him in check, Adrian whispered quickly in Brad's ear: "Remember your place Brad; you're beneath me. And you better pray to GOD that you win tomorrow. Otherwise, that's exactly where you're gonna spend the rest of the year: beneath me. You lose, and you're MINE. Philip won't be able to help you: he knows it, and I know it."
Adrian let go and headed for the door. Just as he was about to step out he turned to Brad and said, "You've accomplished nothing here. You just made me an even worse enemy." He quickly made his way down the stairs, said farewell to Brad's mother, and left the house. Brad remained upstairs, not really knowing how to feel.
Adrian knew exactly what to feel: utter rage. Of course he was pissed at the way Brad had spoken to him, but there was another reason for feeling so incredibly angry. Though it may not seem so to an outside observer, Adrian had tried his best to live up to his promise to Tanya: to not be too much of a dick. In his mind, Adrian truly saw his proposition as reasonable. He wasn't blackmailing Brad per se, more like "excessively encouraging" him. Yet he was rebuffed.
As he continued the walk back to his house, Adrian stopped at a park to rest. Though his leg didn't cause him pain, it sometimes provided discomfort when walking long distances. So he sat down on a park bench and stared out into the darkening sky, recalling the showdown with Brad. Adrian was hurt.
Do you remember when I mentioned that his pain dictated his actions? Well, when it came to Philip, those actions were generally vindictive in nature. But that's not to say that that's all Adrian thought about. The secret he had almost slipped to Tanya a few days prior, and the secret that had caused him to go to outlandish lengths to control Brad, was also a product of his pain: Adrian was lonely.
I'm not talking about a simple loneliness of not having friends with whom to hang out. His loneliness was much deeper - existential in nature. He had lots of friends who wanted to be like him, and lots of admirers (male and female) that wanted to be with him. But the loneliness was always there, gnawing at his core. Since that night three years ago, he had undergone a drastic freefall. In some way he saw Brad as a means to stop the descent. In the end, Adrian was the one frustrated, the one needing to vent, the one needing to talk to someone about his feelings, thoughts, and ideas. He was hoping Brad would be able to at least fill some of the role that Philip had once held.
Of course Adrian is a bit more raw and coarse in his forms of expression, but he's not beyond vulnerability.
Suddenly, there was movement at his feet: a squirrel was inching closer and closer. Brad stared for a moment and smiled. The squirrel was rather cute. He remembered how he and Philip used to spend their younger days chasing these squirrels around. Now there was no time to chase. In one fell swoop, Adrian stepped on the squirrel's bushy tail, ca using it to yelp and to try to get away. He smiled as he had the squirrel pinned.
Then his smile faded, he shook his head violently and released the poor creature. He sighed with a pained expression on his face, and headed home. He had to prepare for tomorrow.
TO BE CONTINUED...
Author's notes: I hope y'all are enjoying this story. Remember that I write for fun, not out of passion or anything like that. So your comments are the impetus I need to continue. If you like this story, or have any thoughts as to the direction the story should take, then write me! :) What can I say? I'm a praise whore. LOL.
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