My Theory of Justice By: Edwin E.
Disclaimer: This story deals with male/male relationships in high school; don't read if you're not supposed to. This story is complete fiction: the people, places, situations, etc, mentioned below never existed. This is copyrighted to me. If you like it, tell me!
Quick note: It's been a while since I posted, so feel free to read the previous chapters in order to refresh the memory ;-)
Part V: First Day - And Then Second.
Jude couldn't have picked a better day to begin his sojourn at Cassidy Prep. With the surprising win over St. Ignatius on Friday, the entire school was enveloped in a shared sense of pride. And believe me, getting that particular student body to share anything is quite a feat. So as he walked through the halls Jude saw nothing but smiling faces and people decked out in school colors.
Everybody seemed at ease.
Perhaps that is why he seemed to doubt Philip's claim of an overarching yet deliberate division in the student population. Philip spent quite a bit of time over the weekend prepping his new friend on what to expect in terms of Adrian's audaciousness. Supposedly, that lack of respect was carried over to Adrian's friends as well; the way Philip had described things, Jude half expected to see people fist fighting in the halls and staring each other down in class.
And yet everybody seemed at ease.
Even Philip was surprised by the new ambiance. He had suspected that things might be a little different due to the outcome of the football game, but he did not count on such a palpable change. However, he knew it would be fleeting. He correctly saw it as proof of the old adage, "the enemy of my enemy is my friend." On any other day the tension on campus would be insufferable. But both sides of the aisle despised St. Ignatius - a school only known for its football prowess, yet still dared to even consider itself equal to Cassidy in every other respect. At least for a day or two, everyone could relish in hating someone else.
So everybody was at ease.
This all proved greatly beneficial for Jude. Rather than being pigeonholed by his friendship with Philip, he was able to at least make a few inroads with a greater portion of the student body. His natural charm, confidence, and classic good looks got him accepted by all of Philip's friends, as well as some of those who tilted slightly toward Adrian. Although Jude could be easily classified as the "big-man-on-campus-type," he was still new and looking to be accepted. So the fact that everyone seemed rather welcoming made him happy.
Plus! As if things couldn't get any better, Jude loved his classes. Each class, especially his one-on-one AP English session with Ms. Banker, was led by a dedicated teacher with a knack for keeping each respective subject matter interesting and relevant. But between you and me, he also enjoyed the attention many of the girls would give him: turning around to smile and wave, often giggling together during breaks, and some obviously checking him out when they thought he wasn't paying attention. Though he had no interest in the (supposed) fairer sex, it still felt nice to be ogled.
With half a school day under his belt, Jude was feeling right at home. It wasn't until lunchtime that he caught a brief glimpse of how things at Cassidy were really like.
"You really should think of dropping Drama," David said as Jude put a spoonful of pudding in his mouth.
"Yeah dude, you really should," Max chimed in. "Since you're in Jazz Band you'll have the performing arts credit you need to graduate."
"True," Jude smiled. "But two years looks better on college apps. And two courses in one year is the best I can do."
David and Max, the resident musical prodigies, just looked at each other and then at Philip.
"What do you think Philip?" David asked.
"It's up to him," he answered while biting his tongue to keep from speaking his true thoughts.
"Leave him alone guys," Amanda said. "He can do whatever he wants."
"No he can't," stated Max rather seriously.
Jude couldn't help but grin at their insistent nudging. "What's the problem with the Drama class? It's not that bad, right?"
They all remained quiet for a second. "The class isn't really the problem. It's more a matter of who's in the class," Max said.
"Oh, you mean like nerds and stuff?" Jude asked.
"Not at all. See, the top kid in there," began David, "is a junior by the name of Miles. He's the head of the drama club and the lead actor in all the plays. The issue is that he's really good friends with Adrian - one of his best, actually."
"He's more of a lackey," Max said.
"Oh," Jude responded. "But that's not too big of a deal, is it?"
Again, the three guys looked at each other briefly while Amanda smiled at the refreshing innocence at the table.
"You did explain everything to him, right?" Max turned and asked Philip.
"Of course I did," he answered.
"I know things don't look quite so serious right now," David said, addressing Jude. "And trust me when I tell you this school isn't normally so...'together.' Adrian is bad news. He really, really is. And so are his friends."
"During class everyone is mixed and since there are always teachers around, nothing ever happens," Max picked up. "And the same is kinda true at lunch - unless people get in each other's faces, which is rare. But extracurriculars are different."
"Every club, with the exception of Yearbook, swings one way or the other," David continued. "Miles makes sure that anything having to do with Drama is owned by Adrian, just as we make sure to keep all the music classes with us."
"Hmm," was all Jude could say. Then he looked around the cafeteria at all the tables. He wondered if he could pick out Adrian - whether someone with such influence could have it written on the face.
"He's not here," Philip said, seeming to know what Jude was looking for. "Usually he sits at the head of that table over there. But I haven't seen him all day."
"Oh," Jude replied. He was a bit disappointed, and those at the table seemed aware of it.
"Well we should get going; the bell's about to ring any minute," Philip said as he stood up. David and Max made one more subtle effort to persuade Jude away from the Drama department before they headed off to their classes with Philip. Jude stayed seated with Amanda.
"So those are Philip's friends," Jude stated with a small smile.
"Some of 'em. You still have to meet Brad. But yeah, we're his closest friends," Amanda said before a brief silence. "I hope David and Max didn't bother you too much. They're really great guys - and it's clear that they really like you - but they can get a bit intense sometimes."
"It's so weird. I know that people have enemies and rivals or whatever. But they seem very consumed by it."
"Well what you have to understand is that everyone here has a history with each other," Amanda began as she started putting her books in her backpack. "We all pretty much grew up together. This may not be the smallest of towns, but there are only a limited number of good private schools in the area, and the majority of people here went to all of 'em."
"Feelings run deep, I guess."
"Very deep," Amanda agreed. Then she smiled before continuing. "That's why you're lucky. You don't have the attachments that we have. So you can be a part of Drama and Music without so much as a hitch. David and Max and Philip worry about market share - that if you get a taste of the other side, you might defect. But who cares? You should do what you want. And I know Philip would never prevent you from doing that: he likes you too much."
Jude blushed slightly at her last comment. They shared another smile and went their separate ways. He only had two more classes left: Drama and Yearbook.
On the other side of the school, Brad was spending the lunch period alone. Throughout the entire morning friends and strangers were coming up and congratulating him over his performance on Friday. He was almost late to every class because so many people wanted to know more about the game: how he felt, how he knew to keep the ball himself during the final play and run for the touchdown, etc, e tc. Everyone was treating him better than ever.
Just as Philip had predicted, he now had clout. But it left him uneasy.
Popularity had ever only been indirectly infused into Brad's life. Sure he was a good-looking guy, but as the constant backup quarterback he was always a step behind Philip - walking in his shadow so to speak. But Brad never minded. Relative obscurity is one of the greatest resources one can have when trying to keep a secret. The limelight brings far too much focus.
Brad needed some time alone. Which was why he was hunched over a sink in the 'C' wing bathroom, splashing cold water on his face. He didn't know how Philip handled all this pressure and attention: people constantly surrounding him, wanting a piece of him, not giving him a moment's rest. It was all, so...
"Overwhelming, isn't it?"
"What?" Brad asked before turning to see who was speaking to him. He shuddered a bit when he finally noticed it was Adrian.
"The attention: it's overwhelming, isn't it?" He repeated. "The losers and outcasts always wish to be popular and cool, thinking that it's such a cake-walk. It's hardly ever that simple."
"I have to go," Brad said as he finished washing his hands and headed out.
But Adrian remained rooted in front of the door. "I can't let you leave. At least not yet."
"I really don't want to deal with you right now Adrian. Just get the fuck out of my way," Brad said with constrained exasperation.
"No," Adrian answered. And so they stared at each other for a minute. Both knew that neither was going to instigate a fight on campus (each side had learned the repercussions of that years ago). Brad walked to the other side of the bathroom, leaned against the wall and waited.
"You should be happy Brad," Adrian began. "With your performance last week, you've changed things between us. Although you're only delaying what's to come, I do have to admit that you've caught me ill prepared."
Brad smiled a new, confident smile. "I'll repeat what I told you on Thursday: I don't want anything to do with you. So just leave me alone."
"We used to be friends, so you know I can't just give up once I got my sights set on something," Adrian smiled.
"Am I supposed to be flattered?"
"You're supposed to be worried," whispered Adrian. The way he said that... was frightening - like some dread you know is coming, but can't stop.
But Brad held his ground and proved strong. "Is that all?" He asked.
Adrian had expected Brad to remain rather unreceptive to him. So he knew not to get too worked up over the new power dynamic. "Anyways," Adrian continued as he took a few deliberate steps forward, "I just came to invite you to a party I'm throwing to celebrate the win over St. Ignatius. It's this Friday, and most of the football team is gonna be there."
"But you hate the football team," Brad said.
"True," Adrian conceded. "But I hate St. Ignatius even more."
Brad smiled. "Is Philip invited?" He asked, knowing the mention of Philip's name would piss off his tormentor.
"No he's not," Adrian answered seriously. "And just so you know, neither are David, Max, nor Amanda."
"What makes you think I'd go?" Brad asked as he looked at his watch to see how much time was left. He looked back up and noticed Adrian was inching his way closer. "Just drop this - please," he said.
Adrian stopped about four feet away from Brad. "I know you're telling yourself that you won't go to my party cuz you don't like me all that much. But nothing you've accomplished in these past few days changes the main issue here."
"And what's that?" Brad asked as he swallowed hard.
Adrian smiled knowingly. "You're miserable, Brad. And unlike me, you don't know how to handle it."
"You don't know what you're talking about," Brad said, a bit unnerved.
Adrian had found an opening. "Do you think things are going to get easier for you? Huh? Will you be able to handle all these schmucks paying so much attention to you? Hiding behind Philip is one thing, but hiding in the open is another."
"I can handle it," Brad said, trying to convince himself as much as Adrian.
"Is that why you're in this bathroom - alone, without a friend in sight?" Adrian smiled as he stepped even closer. He, too, looked at his watch and realized there were only a few more minutes left. He had to drive home his point. "Like I said, you've changed things. I can't make you do anything - at least not yet. So whatever is going to happen between us, you have the chance to be a part of it - willingly."
"I don't want to."
"You STILL don't have a choice," Adrian responded. "Remember that your greatness right now lies in something you DID and not in who you ARE. Unlike Philip or me, your popularity and clout is time-restricted."
"You-"
"So you're going to go to my party," Adrian interrupted. "Because between now and then, you're going to realize the truth: that you made a mistake three years ago when you sided with Philip. He may be good, and nice, and treat you... the way you feel a friend should. But he cannot help you with this," he said as he reached out and put the palm of his trembling right hand over Brad's heart. "Check that: he WON'T help you. You may hate me, but I'm your only option here; I'm the only one who can possibly comprehend what you're going through. There's a hole in your dam, Brad. If you don't let me plug it, I'll make sure it breaks."
Adrian swallowed hard before he removed his hand and turned toward the door.
"Why are you doing this to me?" Brad asked weakly.
Adrian stopped and turned around. "The party's Friday at seven o'clock; come over at six."
As Adrian stepped out of the restroom, he saw a couple of freshmen looking rather uncomfortable: apparently they really needed to use the bathroom but Miles and Tanya, per Adrian's request, wouldn't let anyone through. The trio walked toward the quad.
"How'd it go?" Tanya asked solemnly. Miles had no idea what business Adrian was conducting in the bathroom, but Tanya sure did.
"He'll break soon," Adrian said indifferently. If he had been a cartoon character, he would have laughed maniacally at this point. Rather, he just put on his sun glasses, shucked off the vulnerable persona he created to ensnare Brad, and limped to his next class.
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Jude hoped his second day of school would go off as well as his first. After his lunchtime discussion with Philip and his friends, he had a nagging fear that one of these coming days would prove them right; that things would be as uncomfortable as they said.
As of yet, he saw none of it. His last two classes of the prior day were as understated as the rest. Though he was somewhat forced to stand in front of the Drama class and introduce himself, he was not given the opportunity to meet the vast majority of the students. So as he had looked around while doing his work, he could not pick out this "Miles" character. So he put it out of his mind.
But now, as he sat on a bench waiting for the first bell of the day to ring, he wondered why he was even preoccupied by it at all.
The bare truth was that Jude could care less about this so-called "feud." Through Philip, he was able to meet some cool people and become friends with some really great guys. In that sense, there was no cause for complaints. Jude's only fear was that he might meet other great people who he'd like to befriend, only to have those opportunities dashed because they were friends with Adrian. That's where he saw the potential for unfairness: being limited by the actions and/or history of people other than himself. How can loyalty become such an issue when he's only been in town five days?
"Jude, right?" Someone asked, interrupting his thoughts.
"Yeah," he responded, as he couldn't quite place the faces in front of him.
"I'm Tanya, and this is Miles," the girl said as she thrust her hand out.
"You and I have Drama sixth period," the guy smiled.
"Oh, right," said Jude, returning the smile as they shook hands.
"I would have introduced myself yesterday but Mr. Johnson didn't really give much free time," Miles continued.
"We heard you're new," Tanya began, "and we just wanted to see how you're adjusting to Cassidy. How d o you like it?"
"It's great," Jude responded. "It's a lot different than my old school. But the classes are good and the people seem nice."
"So you've made some friends?" She asked.
Jude sensed a bit of a fishing sentiment in her voice. "Yeah. Actually, when my dad told me we were moving here, I went online and searched a whole crapload of websites and chat rooms in hope of finding anyone who attended this school."
"And you found one?" Miles asked as he took a seat on the bench next to Jude while Tanya remained standing.
Jude gave a nervous smile and nodded. "He's introduced me to his friends who are all great. So it's been working out pretty well."
"That's really wonderful," Tanya said. "Well, like I said, we just wanted to make sure you were adjusting. This place can be kind of hard if you don't know what you're doing."
"So I've heard," Jude said. He could presume that Tanya was another one of Adrian's close friends, but there was something oddly endearing about her. Her smiles seemed real - not just a learned habit of cordiality. Though at the same time, when she looked at him, he could feel her desire for more information.
"We should get going," Tanya said with another smile, "our class is on the other side of campus. Come on Miles."
As Miles stood up, he gave Jude an inquisitive look. "I'm just curious, who's this friend you made?"
They both stopped, waiting for an answer. "Philip, Philip Albright," Jude said.
Tanya looked at Miles and gave a weak smile. Miles did not return it. "I take it he and his friends have mentioned us," he said.
"Maybe a little," Jude admitted.
"Then you're taking quite a big risk talking to us, aren't you?" Miles continued, as his tone grew ever slightly bitterer.
"Look, I'm not entirely sure how everything works around here," Jude said as he stood up. "Philip is my friend, as are his friends. But I'm not predisposed to anything. I'm just new."
As Jude was talking, he noticed Miles stiffen up. Miles' fists were soon clenched tight as his tension escalated. Out of the corner of his eye, Jude could see David and Max approaching rapidly.
"That's a good mindset to have," Miles said as his eyes remained fixed on the two guys making their way to them. "An open mind is necessary in admitting when one makes a mistake."
Jude chuckled slightly. "What mistake have I made?"
"I'm just saying... hypothetically," Miles smiled.
"We're not as bad as they say," Tanya interjected quietly. It looked like she was about to say something else but suddenly changed her mind. "Let's go," she motioned to Miles.
"Is there a problem here?" David asked with resoluteness once they reached the group. Both Max and David's glares were directed at Miles and not at Tanya.
"We were just leaving," muttered Miles as he and Tanya turned to leave. The dislike on everyone's face was painfully obvious. In addition, Miles seemed to have a certain fear in his eyes - perhaps being outnumbered by his "enemies." Nevertheless, he smiled once more and turned to Jude. "See you around, Jude," he said.
"Alright man. See you in class," Jude said.
"Are you okay?" Max asked with some genuine worry once Tanya and Miles were out of earshot.
Again, Jude just chuckled. "Of course I am - we were just talking," he said as he put on his backpack.
David gave a smile and put his arm around Jude's shoulder - as if they had been friends for years. "Come on, we don't want you being late for your second day," he said affably. There was undisputed affection toward Jude in David's voice and gesture. And Jude greatly appreciated that, but there was also a territorial subtlety streaking through.
Jude was very close to realizing the unspoken principle guiding the senior class of Cassidy: friendships, above all else, are alliances. That's not to say that there wasn't any sort of emotional attachment as well - of course there was! But friendships were usually referenced within the language of "territory" and "strategy."
Here, everything was one serious game.
The early morning dialogue with Tanya and Miles was not Jude's only unexpected encounter of the day. For starters, both Tanya and Miles continued to say 'hi' to him and try to start small conversations during breaks, in between classes, and the beginning of lunch. However, there was never any real time for any connection since Jude was always - and happily - around Philip or his friends.
It was while he was enjoying his lunch with everyone that Jude was faced with another interesting wrinkle.
"Um, Jude, why is Patrick staring at you?" Amanda leaned over and whispered in his ear while the rest of the gang was laughing at some joke.
"Who's Patrick?" Jude whispered back.
"Four tables down, to your right. He's the one in the black sweater."
Jude slowly turned his head and saw to whom Amanda was referring. When most people are caught staring at someone, they'll quickly avert their eyes and try to disguise the fact that they were staring in the first place. But when Jude met Patrick's eyes, Patrick did not turn away. He didn't even flinch. This attractive guy just kept chewing on his Salisbury steak, drinking his Pepsi, and looking at Jude.
This was odd. You see, for the most part, undeniably good-looking young adults such as Jude (and Philip and Adrian for that matter) often receive plenty of stares. On the one hand, they get menacing glares by those who feel threatened or are jealous (for one reason or another); on the other hand, they are also prone to the lecherous leers of the sexually stymied.
But Patrick continued to look on with nothing more than a peculiar form of curiosity - one that seemed singed with massive disapproval.
"Who is he?" Jude turned and asked Amanda.
"He's a senior like us, and he's editor of the Yearbook," she responded after taking a sip of her Diet Coke.
So that's where Jude recognized him - from Yearbook.
"What's his story?"
"Well, he's relatively new, at least compared to all of us," she kept on whispering. "He mostly sticks to his own group of friends, who are all younger than him. Isn't really involved in the whole social scene - only focuses on Yearbook."
"So he's not friends with Adrian?" Jude asked quietly.
As if that dreaded name sounded some sort of alarm, David turned his attention to Jude and Amanda. "Who's not friends with Adrian?"
Now all eyes were diverted. "He was asking about Patrick," Amanda kind of announced to the group.
"What about him?" Philip asked as he turned around, only to find Patrick had already gotten up and left.
"I was just wondering if he was friends with Adrian," Jude said as he resumed eating his lunch.
"He doesn't have many friends - at least not that many friends that are seniors," Max said.
"So do you guys hate him too?" Jude asked.
Philip just smiled. "No, not at all; he's a really nice guy from what I understand."
"Why aren't you friends with him?" Again, Jude was merely trying to get a handle on things. After all, here was another person whom he would have to deal with in class.
"He's Switzerland," Max tried to say with a mouthful of food.
"Yeah; he's annoyingly neutral," agreed David. "We've tried to be his friend and all but he doesn't seem to care - which is rare around here. But like Philip said, he's supposedly a good guy." Jude nodded his head as he took in all the little tidbits of information.
Of course Jude was now curious as to why Patrick had been staring at him in the first place. His recollections of the prior day didn't provide any answers; from what he could remember, he had yet to have any real contact with Patrick.
Jude's questions lingered for two and a half hours. Even during Yearbook, Patrick provided few clues to the interaction - albeit distant and one-sided - that took place during lunch. For a good forty-five minutes, everyone was involved in their own projects, while Patrick made his way from table to table in order to help out. He spent some more time with Jude, getting him acquainted with the ins and outs of the class whilst making small talk and carrying an easy smile.
For that reason, Jude couldn't help but think that the whole scene in the cafeteria was meaningle ss - perhaps the staring was random and coincidental. He remained content with this explanation for what little time was left in his last class. But as everyone filed out once the bell rang, Patrick asked him to stay. And Jude did, thinking nothing of it.
When Jude saw how serious Patrick's face had gotten, he knew something was amiss. The same stares he had received at lunch put him on an immediate defensive. Patrick, whether knowingly or not, continued to let the discomfort grow as he remained silent and just kept staring at Jude. Finally, he spoke.
"Why are you taking Yearbook?" Patrick asked.
"Excuse me?"
"Why are you taking Yearbook? He reiterated.
"That's not really any of your business," Jude responded as amicably as he could.
Patrick smiled a disarming smile. "Forgive me for being rude. I saw you eating lunch with Philip."
"Yeah, so?"
"So I want to know whether or not you're here at his behest."
Jude's confusion was pretty clear. "I'm sorry, but I have no idea what you're talking about. What does Philip have to do with anything?"
"Listen man," said Patrick, as he grew more serious. "I don't have a good history with Philip's friends. So if you're here because you want to be, that's fine. But if he sent you..."
"No one sent me," Jude interrupted. "Mr. Barry said I needed a certain number of elective credits to graduate and Yearbook was one of the few that worked with my schedule. Plus another extracurricular will look good on my college apps."
Patrick nodded his head approvingly. "Well, that's better than what I was thinking," he said as he stood up and slung his backpack over his shoulder.
"Now it's your turn to talk," Jude smiled as he remained seated, leaned back and placed his hands behind his head. "What's your problem with Philip and/or his friends?"
Patrick looked at the door before turning back to Jude. He eventually sighed and sat back down. "Philip, Adrian, and I have an understanding: for the most part, their friends are not allowed here," Patrick said nonchalantly. "When I saw you with Philip, I thought he was trying to breach our agreement."
"Why can't their friends take Yearbook?" Jude asked with increased interest.
"That's a long story, and I gotta get going," Patrick said as he glanced at his watch.
"Aw come on," Jude playfully said. "Give me the abridged version - five minutes."
Patrick sighed again and resigned with a grin.
"Alright," Patrick began. "In a nutshell: I was editor of the yearbook last year, and their friends made up a good portion of the class, and they made my job an absolute nightmare. Every class was the same: constant bickering, no sense of cooperation, and overt sabotaging of each other's projects. I hardly slept that first semester because I had to fix all of their shit."
"Damn, that sucks," said Jude, taking note of the frustration growing in Patrick's voice.
"For real! Luckily, Mr. Adams was pulling double-duty teaching another class, so he was pretty much leaving the grading up to me. And I flat out told all those assholes that I'd make sure they'd fail unless they transferred out once the semester ended. Then I went up and told both Adrian and Philip that if their friends weren't serious about doing good work, then they shouldn't bother taking the class."
"And they just agreed with you?"
"Oh hell no," Patrick smirked. "Well, Philip felt bad, but Adrian was a real dick about it. He kept trying to be all mean and... well, you know how he is."
"I haven't met him actually," Jude said.
"Oh. Well he's really good at being horribly condescending and intimidating. But, fortunately for me, I don't give a shit about him. I told him that if I had to baby-sit any of his friends again, I'd give all the plum layouts and yearbook space to Philip and his clubs. And just to be fair, I told Philip the same thing. In the end, it all worked out fine: they didn't bother me, their friends didn't take the class, and both sides were represented adequately."
By now Patrick had gotten up and motioned for Jude to follow him out. They walked through the relatively empty campus and continued talking.
"I guess you have a history with the two of them," Jude commented.
"Not by choice," Patrick said. "If it wasn't for Yearbook, I would've made sure to have nothing to do with those two. But having to document everything about this school means being a fly on the wall - everywhere; which, in turn, means being privy to their stupid shit."
To say that Jude was intrigued would be an understatement. Since his arrival, just about everyone he's talked to have had harsh words for Adrian. But this was the first time he had heard anyone - even remotely - speak about Philip in the same way.
"So you're probably the best person around to give me an unbiased opinion on them, huh?" Jude asked.
"Oh no," Patrick smiled. "No such things as unbiased opinions - otherwise we'd all think the same things and in the same way. I can give you the opinion of someone who is not too fond of either of them."
"That'll do."
By now the two had made it to the exit of campus and stood on the sidewalk facing C Street. "What do you want to know about 'em?" Patrick asked as he turned to face Jude.
"Everything."
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TO BE CONTINUED...
Author's Notes: Okay fellas. I know this chapter has been a long time coming. That's really quite unconscionable on my part since most of it was finished weeks ago. But after vacationing in Mexico for a little while, I've returned renewed, refreshed, and reinvigorated in regards to writing. So I'm hoping these next few chapters will come at a much quicker pace than before. Here's hoping!
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