Note: This story is true in most material respects with some name changes as appropriate. I ended up writing this piece after I had recalled to a friend, highlights of how I came to find the love of my life in the least expected way. My friend told me it sounded like a romance novel, so I said why not write it down and share it! This process became quite stimulating, as I recalled some of the more romantic and intimate details! Josh has now also read this story and loved it! Caution, if you are under 18 and/or are offended by description of sexual activities between two men, please read no further.
Part One: Introduction
My name is Bobby and I am a 34-year-old successful corporate finance professional working for a large bank/investment bank's Houston, Texas office. I am a typical work hard-play hard type that is "preppy" and athletic in appearance. As with many in the world of "high finance", long hours and business travel had long inhibited my lasting relationships. In one sense, I accepted this as part of the price of professional success. However, now that I was in my early 30"s, I felt the desire to focus on finding a long- term relationship, as more and more of my friends seemed to be getting married, and it was took more effort than ever to make time for the singles scene.
My most recent near-miss relationship had been with Mary, whom I had dated for two years and we came close to becoming engaged. She was beautiful, sexy and a hard driving professional in public accounting. Ultimately, there wasn't enough time to satisfy the demands of my career, her career and her illogical insecurity/jealousy when I wasn't around. Despite many positive aspects of our relationship (including and especially sex!), I ended it because we just seemed to be fighting all the time about "my time".
Mary loved sex and had a wild streak that we never fully explored. For example, a few months prior to me breaking the relationship, we saw a movie together that had a sexy lesbian love scene, and Mary off-handedly told me that she could enjoy sex with another woman. She hinted that if we wanted to do a three way with another girl she would try it. She also inquired about whether I had ever thought about sex with another guy. I quickly squashed the discussion, perhaps out uneasiness about a threesome or due to paranoia about admitting that I occasionally have had bi-curious thoughts since my teens.
Sex with Mary was frequent and uninhibited, and we both relished pleasing each other orally as much as intercourse. After our "bi-curious" discussion, I would sometimes find myself fantasizing that it was a guy, instead of Mary, going down on me with such passion and vigor. It was definitely an erotic thought but only in a surreal way. Mary seemed to enjoy giving head so much that it would have made anyone curious about what it would be like to give! On the other hand, "back in reality" I never actually saw specific guys as sex objects, or encountered guys that I felt any attraction to. I especially had difficulty visualizing having sex with the masculine types that tended to run in my circles. Thus, the concept of gay sex, while erotic in a way, was nothing more that an obscure, faceless notion for me.
Unexpectedly, this began to change about six weeks after Mary and I broke up. First, even though it was my decision, it was depressing that our two-year relationship had ended in failure. I knew it was the correct decision, but I also knew I could have done more to make the relationship work. Second, I wasn't really that thrilled to be back on the dating scene again. I seemed to have an endless stream of well-intentioned friends who insisted on setting me up with their "cute" friends, who weren't always so cute. I was also felt a little old and a little too busy to hit the bar scene with any enthusiasm. I was basically in a rut, even though some people seemed jealous of my independence.
When I did date, if the girl was around my age, they always seemed to have an unsettling sense of urgency due to their "biological clock" and the need to find their "mate". Despite many girls in their early 20"s being attractive, the generation gap made it difficult to have similar interests or to converse on the level I was used to with Mary. Fortunately, I seemed to be considered a "catch" by the various people trying to set me up with their friends and did not lack for opportunities. However, I had not gone past two or three dates with any one girl, as no one had really excited me. I knew my apathy was a big part of the problem but I also didn't feel like I had anything to prove by always having a date.
Part Two: A Fateful Sunday Afternoon
A new world opened up to me after I received an invitation to and decided to attend a Sunday mid-afternoon party called a "Tea Dance" in honor of a couple named Tim and Shelly who were getting married. I had been pretty good friends with Tim since college and had become pretty close to Shelly as a result. The Tea Dance was being hosted by the bride-to-be's brother, Bill, who along with his "partner" had a highly successful florist/floral design firm. As you might surmise, Bill and his partner were gay...a monogamous gay couple of many years. Shelly was extremely close to and protective of her brother, and along the way, Tim (by necessity), had also become friends with Bill.
I went to the Tea Dance by myself, since I did not have anyone I wanted to take and, it being on a Sunday afternoon, I figured I would be among many who came without a date. Although dressy-casual, it was a festive event held at a spacious design center lobby, with lavish floral decorations, incredible food and a small orchestra playing danceable music. While several of Tim's and my mutual friends were also there among the 100 or so guests, there was no question that Shelly's brother and his partner were using the opportunity of the impending wedding to throw a party for many from their circle of friends, some of whom were quite eccentric looking. I generally enjoyed myself and visited with several people I knew (most either married or had brought dates) and otherwise hung out and people-watched.
After some mixing and mingling, the guests retreated to pre-assigned tables for a seated meal. I was somewhat late in migrating over to my assigned table and the only seat available was between two couples. On one side was a somewhat older couple that was very engaged with a similar-aged couple on the other side of them. On my other side was a couple around my age or probably even younger. I really didn't know anyone else at the table. After greeting everyone at the table, I was mostly keeping to myself until the younger couple engaged me in conversation. It turns out they were not a couple at all, but brother and sister. Jenny on my immediate left was in her late 20"s and Josh it turns out was 31 but clearly looked younger.
They were both attractive people--Jenny in a "girl next door" sort of way, but Josh in a trendy, GQ sort of way. Josh was quite meticulous in his dress, had very delicate facial features and stylishly shaggy hair combed behind his ears. Jenny had more of an athletic build but Josh was quite thin, and probably weighed no more than 135 pounds. Jenny was about 5"4" and Josh was about 5"9", which made my average 5"11" height seem tall when we stood up to greet each other. They were both very outgoing and engaging, and had a sarcastic banter between them that was very funny. Both were quick witted, like myself, and after a few glasses of wine we were all laughing quite hard together as we made humor out of any and all topics. I couldn't help feeling that they were both trying very hard to entertain me and their unique personalities were a great change of pace.
I learned a little bit about them as we visited. Jenny worked as a writer for a local community magazine that focused on arts, fashion and society. Josh headed up a local architectural/interior design firm that his father had founded, having previously worked for much larger firms in New York and California prior to his father's retirement. Apparently, the firm had greatly expanded since Josh had moved to Houston from California and taken over the firm two years earlier. It was very interesting to learn about both of their jobs and my career in finance sounded boring as I described what I did for a living. Instead of being bored, they both seemed genuinely interested and made note about how weak they were at financial things. We shared enthusiastic interests in music and entertainment. They were both much more knowledgeable about performing arts than me although I did like ballet, opera, theatre and the symphony and at least held my own in the discussion.
After a while I excused myself and went to the restroom. When I returned, Jenny had moved to my seat and left the seat open between her and Josh. When I returned, Jenny said in her witty way, "Bobby, you sit here. I don't want anyone else to think I am dating my brother. My love life is bad enough without that. Plus, Josh is tired of having to lean over me while he talks to you." After the move I was the center of attention of both of them as they also continued their hilarious banter between each other. Without being too pushy, I could definitely feel Jenny's discussion being more of a flirt. Unfortunately, although she was smart, cute and funny, I did not feel any strong physical attraction for Jenny. Chemistry between two people is a difficult thing to predict!
Josh was no less engaged in focusing on me in discussion, but in a more aloof manner. When Jenny excused herself to go to the restroom, Josh became more animated and we talked in greater detail about our respective careers. He was most interested in what I did and offered to provide several excellent business referrals to me.
Without Jenny there, I paid closer attention to Josh and could not help but note how delicate and "perfect" his boyish features were, including light olive skin that was smooth and flawless. He was model-good looking and was dressed in a pastel light blue linen blazer with a coordinated tie and coat handkerchief. His hair was light brown with natural blond highlights and it was both very straight and very thick and soft-looking, as it flowed behind his ears to his collar. I could not help but think that Josh had been luckier than Jenny in the natural looks department. I then noted that each of Josh's ears had a small piercing hole for earrings.
We stayed immersed in the conversation while Jenny was gone and I asked him how he knew the bride and groom. Josh told me that his firm and Shelly's brother's firm had a number of joint projects where his interior design team. Considering the overall profile of the party guests, Josh's association with Bill, and his overall appearance, I wondered for the first time if he might be gay. He wasn't effeminate in mannerisms, but he wasn't exactly masculine either. But while he became very engaged in our discussion, I certainly didn't feel he was coming on to me, either.
Finally I asked Josh why he had decided to move to Houston. Josh replied, "Two things really. My father was going to retire, and if I didn't take over the firm he would have had to sell it or just close it down. I wanted to keep the firm alive and in the family, if possible, and I think there is great potential to grow it into more of a national player. Second, I had just gotten a divorce after three years of marriage and thought a change of scenery might be a good thing." With this revelation about being married, I backtracked on my suspicions about Josh being gay and just decided he was just eccentric, perhaps like many people from California or New York. He certainly was one of the most interesting people I had ever met, in any event.
Jenny returned to the table and tried to get me to join Josh and her to go bar-hopping, as the party was winding down. I demurred since I was actually already buzzed and I wanted to catch up on some things at my townhouse before the weekend ended. Jenny didn't take no for an answer easily and Josh seemed to be noticeably disappointed. However, I exchanged cards with both Jenny and Josh and we agreed to get together (separately or otherwise) to trade business referrals.
Part Three: Brother and Sister in Pursuit!
I received a call from Jenny the next morning (Monday) and she invited me to an exhibit opening later in the week at a museum that she was writing an article on. I accepted, although I had reservations about encouraging her about potential for a relationship beyond friendship. Seemingly unaware of Jenny's contact, Josh called on Tuesday and we arranged to have lunch, coincidentally, on the same day that I was going to the museum opening with Jenny.
As the day arrived, Josh suggested I meet him at a fairly small but trendy upscale restaurant near downtown. Josh was dressed in more conservative professional attire, but still had a fine silk tie on and an Italian designer suit on that was tailored to fit is lean, angular frame. He made me feel very boring in appearance by comparison!
For the first part of the lunch we had a very typical discussion about each other's business and had mutually beneficial business referrals. I was very impressed with how rapid the firm had grown since Josh took over. His firm had been involved in a number of visible local projects. He apparently was quite well known in architectural design circles, including because he had followed his father's footsteps into the profession. Josh's father had left a larger firm and moved to Houston (where he worked for many years earlier) to start the current firm while Josh was away in college and while Jenny was starting high school. Josh, Jenny, and the family had mostly grown up in Orange County, California, with Josh having attended Stanford for both and undergraduate and graduate degrees. Jenny had attended a small liberal arts college in the East.
After we talked business at length, the conversation effortlessly drifted back to music and other topics of common interest. He could play the piano, while I like to play the guitar. We both were classic rock and alternative rock music fans. While I was also a typical sports "nut"; Josh was clearly not, but we both liked movies and the performing arts. I almost found myself jealous at how worldly Josh was in his knowledge. Josh indicated that both through the firm and individually, that he supported numerous civic arts organizations. I had to admit that I went to shows only when I had tickets given to me or something truly caught my eye. Josh and I left lunch with no specific follow-up other than to say that we should get together again sometime. As I left I looked at my watch and realized that we had been together 2-1/2 hours without me realizing it. Time had flown by because we found so many things to talk about.
Later, the reception with Jenny was fun, and it gave me a favorable impression of her journalistic professionalism. It was not a long affair and since we had met at the event, I left before 9:00PM without much fanfare. Jenny and I had a good time together, but I definitely avoided any intimation that I was romantically interested in her. She seemed to pick this up rather early on, but it did not stop her from being fun to be around, and she did not seem to mind that I was only interested in friendship.
The next afternoon (Friday), I received a phone call at the office from Josh who asked if I wanted to use two tickets from his season ticket allotment, to a theater performance that evening. He said, "I know its short notice, but if you have someone you'd like to take, I hear it's a good show." I thanked Josh and told him I'd love to see the show but he might want to give them to someone else, since I didn't have anyone to ask on short notice. He then said, "Well actually, I'm in the same boat. I don't have anybody to go with either, so I thought you might be able to use them. But, if you are really interested in seeing the show, why don't you and I go?" Not having any plans for the evening I agreed and we planned on meeting at the theater, which was a short walk from my downtown office.
The show was part of an eclectic drama series at the local theater. It was very well done and interesting, but probably not something I would not have thought of going to had Josh not called. It was fun to do something different, however. He refused to let me pay for my ticket, so I told him that I would pay for an after-show drink. We then walked to a nearby nightspot, which had local musicians playing most nights. There I learned that as a result of his arts benefactor status, Josh had multiple season ticket packages for essentially every performing arts group in town and usually had extra seats.
Josh said, "I almost always have good seats, so if you ever need tickets, let me know, or maybe we can go together again, like tonight, if they aren't going to be used anyway. I give seats away pretty often, because I don't want to go alone, and there is nothing worse than going with someone whose company you don't enjoy." I replied, "Well, I am glad you called, the show was great. I should go to more arts performances. Don't feel any obligation to give me tickets, but I can be pretty spontaneous, so put me on your list!" Josh smiled wryly and replied, "Don't worry, you are on my list."
We hung out at the bar for about 2 hours (about 1-1/2 hours longer than I was expecting) and enjoyed the music and conversation. I was still dressed in my business suit, so I commented that I like a geek compared to the Friday night bar crowd. Josh laughed and with a funny European accent told me that I looked like a distinguished rich gentleman and that all eyes in the room were tracking me, desiring to know who this handsome man was. I then said more candidly, "You're lucky to own your own firm and be in a business where you can be more creative in appearance. Take your hair for instance. I probably would get put on some demotion list if I let mine grow out as long as yours. And this suit is the uniform of my industry, but it's boring. Of course, it's probably just as well...my hair is so wavy that I wouldn't look good with long hair and I don't have to be very creative in choosing my clothes. Other than ties and shirts, there is nothing to choose, no way to be creative."
"Josh looked at me smiling for a long moment and said, "I actually used to have my hair quite a bit longer. It was up until I moved here and in hindsight I am not sure why I cut it." I then said, "You should let it grow out, most women would kill to have hair like yours. You should take advantage of your assets!" Josh smiled, but did not say anything. After the words left my mouth, I realized that both of us were almost flirting with the compliments--not the discussion I would be having with my macho friends. Somehow, the drink had made me not notice until it had already happened. It just felt great to be around somebody different, and after a couple of drinks, I felt uninhibited.
As we left, Josh said, "Thanks for coming with me, I had a great time! I'll call you next week." By reflex, I responded, "Sure, have a great weekend!" Josh's enthusiasm and attentiveness towards me was definitely noticeable and I had momentary discomfort about it. On the other hand, Josh was so different than anyone else I knew, his style could be attributed to that. We totally connected in every conversation and it did feel good to have a new friend that was so interesting and enthusiastic.
Part Four: The Ups and Downs of Mating and Blind Dating
The following Wednesday, Josh called and asked me if I wanted to go with him to the symphony on Friday night. I actually had dates both Friday and Saturday and told him without details I already had plans, but that I was sorry. Josh, undeterred, said we could go to the Sunday afternoon matinee instead. Before I could even think about it, I realized I had accepted.
Both Friday and Saturday nights were awful. The Friday night was to attend a blind date's office party and I was fixed up with a girl who worked with a married girl I knew. She was neither pretty nor interesting and on top of that, I did not know anyone but her and my friend. She generally talked incessantly with her co-workers without including me in the conversation and got drunk in an unflattering way. Saturday night was more of a typical blind date where we did the dinner and a movie routine. The highlight of course, was the movie since it was dark and we did not have to talk! She was attractive but not sexy to me, and she insisted on smoking throughout dinner, despite my strong hint that it bothered me.
Thus, Sunday afternoon at the symphony with Josh could only have been an improvement. We met at the concert hall, and enjoyed a relaxing musical performance. Afterwards, we decided to grab an early dinner at a nearby café. Josh opened up a can of worms by asking me if it had been a good weekend so far. I basically told him that it had sucked until now and described the two bad blind dates. "So there is no one person you go out with in particular?" he asked. After saying no, I described in some detail the fact that I had recently come off of a two-year relationship and how I seemed to be in a rut. Josh did a lot of listening and somehow kept the focus of the conversation on me, without much about himself. As we left Josh confidently said, "See you next week!"
Over the next month or so Josh progressively called with more frequency and invited me to do something with him--usually a performance of some sort. Instead of late in the week, Josh began calling earlier and before I knew it we seemed to always have plans for at least one weekend evening and occasionally an additional weekday night or Sunday afternoon. Josh never made any overt advances towards me or made any direct comments, but I was beginning to think that he made his social plans around my availability. His sarcastic, witty comments always tended to end up bestowing flattering compliments on me. We had an effortless, comfortable ability to communicate.
I found myself readily accepting his offers without hesitation and sometimes having to turn down other dating opportunities because I had already made plans with Josh. Finally, even before Josh would call, I sometimes turned down marginal-sounding prospective dates in the expectation (and hope) that he would call. He was very generous, insisting that it was his "treat" to let me use his extra ticket and often paid for dinner afterwards. I sometimes sensed that his interest in me was as more than friends, but I chose to take the easy road and just enjoy his company and the activities. It felt good to have someone show much attention to you. In all actuality, based upon time spent, it was almost like we were dating regularly. Of the nights I actually went out somewhere, I was probably with Josh two-thirds of the time.
I am usually quite generous, but I actually never initiated ideas on going out with Josh. It was because of the uneasiness about how close Josh and I were becoming. Since I seldom initiated activities, our friendship was still somewhat superficial. Josh remained somewhat elusive on details of his personal life, and said he did not want talking about his failed marriage. I did not probe...perhaps being afraid to learn too much. It eventually evolved that Josh and I talked on the phone or emailed each other almost every day, often for no other reason to just talk.
Often at performances, we would encounter acquaintances of Josh, many affiliated with that particular arts organization, who more times than not were somewhat eccentric, and if a guy, probably gay. Josh became progressively flashier in dress when we went out and I got the sense that he was dressing up for me and gauging my reaction. When in a more casual setting, he wore designer jeans or black satin-like slacks and sleeveless or unusual shirts. Usually I did not actually say anything about his attire, even if it was unusual. The fact that I didn't, probably sent Josh a tacit message of approval.
On one occasion, he wore a single small hoop earring, which I did not comment on. The next time, however, he wore hoops in both ears, and I found myself pointing to his ear and saying, "those look good on you!" I found myself not only admiring his appearance, but also looking forward to seeing what he would wear next. With his dress and the hair and earrings, he began to have more of an artsy, androgynous style that I found engrossing, because he was so different than any of my other guy friends. I became aware of how heads turned whenever Josh entered a room. Between his perfect features, stylish hair and fashionable clothes, it was impossible not to admire his model- like appearance, if not feel some physical attraction to him, and I found myself bestowing compliments on him regularly, as well.
After a weekend where Josh and I had actually done something both Friday and Saturday night, Jenny called and invited me to go to a party the next Saturday night that she and her roommate were having at their condo, to include Mexican food, beer and margaritas for about 30 people. I accepted which seemed to excite Jenny. I correctly assumed Josh would be attending as well, and he had not called except to say that he looked forward to seeing me at the party but that he would be in New York the rest of the week.
The party was fun but other than Jenny and Josh, I did not really know the other guests. For this reason, I tended to migrate to them for conversation. There were actually a lot of single girls there, but I noticed that Josh didn't seem to take note of any of them. I made small talk with a few but really did not have my heart in it, and it wasn't exactly like I was being chased either. As the party wore on Josh and I gravitated to each other and basically just remained next to each other constantly. We fell into our usual easy conversation and time flew by like it always did.
Late in the evening, Jenny seemed slightly inebriated from the margaritas. She walked into the kitchen where Josh and I were alone and just talking, and said, "Oh! There you two lovebirds are. You guys either need to join the party or go get a hotel room!" I was startled by the comment and Josh was immediately nervous. "Jenny, chill out!" Josh said with some anger. Jenny then looked at me and said sharply with slurred speech, "it's really a problem in a family when a brother and sister have a crush on the same guy!" She then walked out of the kitchen. I then said nervously, "Look, maybe I need to go!" Josh implored me to stay and asked to go to the courtyard where we could talk in private and I relented, hesitantly.
Part Five: Josh Comes Clean
In the courtyard Josh began speaking, "Jenny has a crush on you. She's upset because she thinks you are a great guy and she can tell you don't seem interested in her. Now she is even resentful towards me, because she knows we have been spending time together and she didn't believe me when I told her we were not in a romantic relationship."
After a long pause and a deep breath, Josh continued, "however, she is correct in saying that I also have a crush on you I didn't deny it to her and I won't deny to you. I would never have forced the issue with you and I didn't want her to either. Basically, when I told you that I needed a change of scenery after my divorce, I was not only talking about geography. I know you probably only think of me as a friend, but I...I can't help wishing for more."
After several seconds of nervous silence I said, "Josh, in some ways I am surprised, in other ways I'm not. When I first met you I thought you might be gay, but then I thought otherwise since you had been married. I haven't meant to lead you on. Why would you have even been interested in me in the first place?" Josh insisted, "You haven't led me on! I just knew after the first time we met that I liked you and wanted to be around you, even if only as friends. You are the perfect all-American nice guy and very handsome, smart and funny. If I have had any hope, it was simply because I can tell that you have a great time when we do things together. Sometimes I feel a chemistry when we are together." I then said, "Josh, I am in uncharted waters here. I don't have a problem with you being gay or bi or whatever you are, but I may be uncomfortable knowing that you are attracted to me. I don't understand why you were married before but now like guys."
Josh with some reluctance, explained that he had always struggled with being attracted to both guys and girls. When he was young he sometimes would get teased as being a sissy. The teasing went away as he got older and became so successful in school academically, and in the arts...and of course regularly dated popular girls. He had never acted on his attraction to men and it was never a real problem to "deliver the goods" as he went through the motions of dating girls in high school and college. On occasion gay men had flirted with him but he was to too insecure in his feelings to act on them.
In his last year of college however, he shared an apartment with a guy and they became very good friends. On Saturday nights, if his roommate had gone on a date and not "gotten any", he would put in X-rated videos and eventually go masturbate in private. This evolved to where he and Josh would watch the movies together if they had both had a sexless evening and then go separately masturbate. Eventually, the roommate began to masturbate in front of Josh while watching TV, which Josh eventually did as well.
Finally, one evening while a bit drunk, the roommate reached over and grasped Josh's penis, saying, "let's help each other", to which Josh reciprocated and they made each other come. This became a regular ritual, but they never had any associated foreplay or affection and it was never spoken about the next morning. Josh explained that this awakened his leanings, although he was too scared to tell his roommate that he had come to like the mutual masturbation as much as being with girls.
Finally, one evening they had been drinking and were doing each other by hand. They were watching a video with a girl giving a guy head, and Josh impulsively leaned over and replaced his hand with his mouth on his roommate's penis in his mouth, and made him come. The roommate did not reciprocate but did finish Josh off with his hand. Again, without and romance, or passion, weekend evenings became more and more an occasion where Josh was orally servicing his roommate and he usually got a hand-job.
Josh explained, "naturally, I ended up falling in love with him, to say nothing about realizing that I loved having sex with a masculine guy. It got to where I would avoid making plans sometimes, just so I would be there if he came home early. Try as I might to hint about my feelings, my roommate saw nothing in the activity other than a harmless way to get his rocks off. After the semester we moved to other cities, and remained casual friends as if nothing had ever happened. It is really humiliating that I allowed myself to be in such a stupid situation, and I worked very hard at trying to be an exclusive heterosexual after that, dating girls and even getting married. In fact, I have never actually had sex with a guy since then. You might say I've been saving myself."
Seeing my puzzled look, Josh continued with, "My marriage ended because we should have never gotten married to each other in the first place. It was not about sexual preference, although if I had not had ambiguous feelings, maybe it would have helped. When I got a divorce and moved here, I decided to start over, accept and pursue my attraction to men. I decided I would make myself available to situations where I might meet gay men and let certain people close to me aware that I was open to meeting men. Jenny knew about this and was my confidant and supporter throughout. I even told my parents. Well, at least, I told my mom, who then told my dad." Interestingly, my mother almost seemed relieved when I told her and she told me she understood totally.
Josh continued, "Initially, after moving here, I would still go out with blind dates with girls, but I knew then and know now where my heart lies and I stopped even trying to go out with girls, except as friends or escorts. The problem with other guys is I haven't wanted to have a cheap sexual encounter and have avoided gay bars for the most part. I have gone out a few times, after being introduced by someone, but not very many times. I have met some nice people but now one that excited me until you.
I have not done anything more serious than an embrace and a quick kiss on the lips with anyone. Unfortunately, I am kind of picky and I seem to only be attracted to all- American types like you, who usually are into girls. Which is ironic, since I seem to have no problem attracting girls. Sometimes I think I am just destined to not find anyone. I realize I should have said something to you before now, and I realized that we probably wouldn't amount to anything. It just seemed so effortless for us to have a good time so I didn't want to do anything but continue, even if only as friends, and just see what happened. I am sorry for what Jenny said."
As I listened, instead of being agitated, it was hard not to be sympathetic towards Josh. I sat silently for a few moments and said, "Josh, you haven't done anything that I should be upset about. In fact, I should be flattered since you have more going for you that anyone I know and could attract anyone you want. I have avoided asking some questions that were creeping up in my mind as well, so in a way I did lead you on. I have never been with a guy, and I don't really have any close friends that are gay, so this is not easy to digest. I am not mad at you, but I don't really know what to say, except maybe I should leave and absorb all this."
I left to go home after that without rejoining the party and without much more being said to Josh. It was difficult to sleep later because of the awkwardness of the situation. Part of me totally rejected and resented what had happened with Jenny. Another part of me visualized Josh being embarrassed by Jenny and then pouring out his soul to me in the courtyard and I felt sympathetic towards him. I was also feeling homophobic as I realized that I had in some ways led Josh on, and maybe even enjoyed doing so. I realized that I did enjoy the idea that I was the object of his affection. It was flattering, yet I had not ever considered if I was willing to go forward, if presented the opportunity.
My Unexpected Love--Parts 6-12
Part Six: Denial is NOT a River in Egypt
Being in denial is a strong motivator and on Sunday I called a girl whose name had been given to me by a friend and asked her out for Saturday night. Josh, in fact did not call that week, and I am sure he was feeling awkward. Unfortunately, the date Saturday was a forgettable as the others. Despite that, I asked her out for the next Saturday night as well, making sure I had other plans in case Josh did call. Josh did call on Tuesday to invite me to a show on Saturday, assuring me that it could be just as "friends". I honestly answered that I was busy, but I was somewhat terse on the call, and sensing this, Josh did not pursue an alternative date. While not hostile, the conversation did not go on long and ended with just a polite goodbye. After I hung up I felt really guilty because I know I seemed rude to Josh.
As the week progressed not only did I continue to feel guilty about Josh, but also I decided that if he called again, I would make sure to agree to do something with him. More importantly, I realized that I missed him and did not realize how much time we had been spending together until he was not around. Finally, the revelation that Josh was sexually interested in me made me apprehensive, but in no way was it disgusting to me. Without trying, thoughts would creep in my mind where I would visualize us in an embrace, or in a kiss, or even him performing oral sex on me. It was just like the fantasizing that I had occasionally at the end of my relationship with Mary, except instead of a faceless surreal stranger in my prior fantasies, it was Josh's face with his big smile and beautiful hair showering me with affection. On the other hand, I did not consider myself gay, and was scared of the thought that I might be. As the week went on, instead of fear, I was almost constantly thinking of Josh and dreading the notion that my earlier behavior had ended our relationship, platonic or otherwise.
I had a very quiet and lonely Friday night, which only gave me more time to be preoccupied with the thought of Josh. I missed him terribly and missed getting to do all the cool things we had been doing for the past 6 or 7 weeks. On Saturday, I had my second date with the poor girl whom I really did not have any interest in. I was in a very somber mood, because I knew I would have been having a great time if I had been with Josh at the theater. I even jealously wondered if he had found someone new to take.
On the Saturday date, we both got a bit tipsy after going clubbing after dinner. When she invited me up to her apartment, I took her up on it and was feeling horny. I was being aggressive with her as we mugged on her sofa, and she responded initially by massaging my penis through my pants. She began to resist my advances after I had worked my fingers into her underwear, however, and straightened up. Instead of rejecting me outright, however, she made me lean back and she undid my belt and zipper and pulled my pants and underwear down and leaned over to begin orally servicing me. It felt good to be touched and I relaxed as she worked on me. After a while, however, I began to feel awkward, because I knew I really did not care about her.
Rather than stop her however, as she continued, I allowed myself to fantasize that it was Josh whose mouth I was in, and whose hair I was running my fingers through. As the fantasy became more vivid, I also became much harder in her mouth and extremely excited. As I started to come, I warned her and she pulled off and finished me off with her hand. I kept my eyes closed for a few minutes and visualized Josh looking up to me with a satisfied smile and leaning up to kiss me. Fortunately, the girl seemed to enjoy the oral sex as much as I did and viewed it as harmless fun. She seemed to recognize that we were not exactly hitting on all cylinders together, which is probably why she stopped me from pursuing full intercourse. All in all, for us it had been a good last date!
As I drove home, what remained vivid was not the actual oral sex, but the fantasy of it being with Josh. I felt my crotch stirring with the thought. When I went to bed, I found myself visualizing a more comprehensive encounter with Josh, and tried to imagine, what he would feel like to kiss, and what he looked like naked. I woke up Sunday morning and stayed pre-occupied all day with increasingly vivid fantasies of us being together. I was now finding myself getting an erection thinking about me performing oral sex on Josh and tried to imagine him coming in my mouth. I could not believe the intensity of these fantasies and found them scary, because nothing I would do could stop them from re-emerging. I masturbated to the fantasy of being with Josh and it was intense!
I decided by dinnertime that I was either going to need to see a psychiatrist, or I was going to need to see Josh again and address our situation one way or another. I debated whether to call him and then what I would say if I did. Was I really willing to explore the possibility of being involved with a guy? As I pondered the questions, I sat and remembered the numerous occasions where we had such a great time. I thought about how interesting and talented he was and how attentive he was to me at all times. And yes, I thought about the fact that he was extremely great looking...really more beautiful than handsome. The only thing stopping him from being my perfect match was the unfortunate fact that he was not a woman. My resistance breaking, I began to wonder just how important this fact was if he was what might make me happy. More importantly I knew that my I would need to satisfy my curiosity one-way or the other if I hoped to find peace.
Part Seven: Taking the Plunge
Finally, after some wavering mental debate, I picked up the phone and called Josh about 9:00 o'clock Sunday night. He sounded surprised to hear from me but he was enthusiastic. Without discussion about what had transpired the last two times we had talked, I quickly broke the ice and said that it had been too long since we had gotten together and asked if he wanted to go to see a show at a comedy/dinner club on Tuesday night. He quickly said yes, and I told him I would swing by and pick him up beforehand, which would be a departure from just meeting him at wherever we had gone in the past. Out of nervousness, I then told him that I could not talk long, and he enthusiastically said he looked forward to Tuesday, to which I responded... "It's a date!"
I felt such relief and excitement after the call. I felt relief from my guilty feelings and excitement that, at a minimum, our friendship was being re-established. When I made the call, however, I was 75% sure I was making to make a date with an open mind towards being more than friends. Over the next two days, I would waver and sometimes feel like I would just try to get us back on the basis we had before, but strictly a platonic friendship. The ball was clearly in my court on the direction this would take, because I didn't tell josh any of these thoughts when we set up the date. He probably would assume that we were getting together only as friends.
I never had been to the very hip, very up-scale, mid-rise lofts where Josh lived. There was an ornate reception lobby with a doorman, and I used the house phone and called Josh down. My stomach jumped and I smiled ear-to-ear when Josh emerged from the elevator, stylishly casual for a chilly evening, like he had come out of an LL Bean catalogue. His hair was a bit more tussled than usual, but still combed back. I knew right then that I was 100% committed to this evening being about romance, not friendship! We shook hands and had an awkward brief semi-embrace before walking out. I made a point of opening the car door for him, which caused him to smile silently.
Once we got to the club, we sat down for dinner before the show, enjoying a casual meal and a couple of margaritas. We caught up on each other's professional lives, world events etc., and fell right back into our unique ability to converse with each other. We did not really talk about "us", however. After Josh finished his second margarita he looked a bit tipsy, and stopped and just smiled silently at me, to which I simply smiled back for several seconds. It was time for the show to begin so we moved our chairs next to each other, in order to see the stage. As we watched the show, we had yet another margarita...probably not a great idea if one was trying to show restraint!
I think the comedian actually was funny, but between the alcohol and the intoxicating company we were both laughing hard, out loud. I also was losing any inhibitions and I occasionally would put my hand on Josh's thigh briefly when we were laughing together, or lean my shoulder into his and whisper commentary on the show, or leave my leg rested against his. All of my actions were somewhat ambiguous however, and Josh was restrained, which was understandable given my prior rejection of his advances.
I may have been ambiguous in my outside actions, but I was anything but on the inside. I was so caught up in the excitement of his company that all internal barriers were falling, and I could barely contain myself. After the show I continued to be the "perfect gentleman" for my "date", insisting on paying for everything and again opening doors. He definitely had taken notice and with an amused smile, warned sarcastically, "You're spoiling me! You better stop or I'll get used to it!" I responded with, "Is that a promise?"
Part Eight: Frisky Boys At Play
On the short drive to Josh's place, we did not say much, but did smile at each other several times, while looking knowingly into each other's eyes. As we arrived, Josh's bedroom eyes beckoned me as he confidently asked if I would like to come up and see his loft. I quickly agreed and we went through the lobby and up the elevator while making small talk about the building and its palatial public areas.
Once at his unit, I was initially astounded with the expensive and eclectic interior of his place. He had an illogical juxtaposition of modern art with classical/antique furnishings or vice versa, depending on the room. I would never have the vision to do what he had; yet somehow it looked great. It was also quite large, over 2500 sq. ft. according to Josh, requiring him to actually acquire several units, during the construction phase of the building, and combine them into one large one. There were three bedrooms, two of which were large enough to be "masters" and all had adjoining baths. There was also a paneled study, a media room and an exercise room. Nothing about it looked inexpensive, which spoke volumes about how successful Josh's design firm was.
After quickly showing the rooms, Josh came up behind me and gently put his hand on my shoulder and suggested I take my jacket off. He then went to the kitchen to get a glass of wine for each of us. While I waited, I looked out of a large ceiling to floor window that allowed a great view of the lights of the city. Josh silently returned and gave me my glass and we stood close, silently enjoying the view. I was actually a bundle of nerves at this point, but also more excited than ever.
Finally, Josh gently placed one of his hands on my back and left it there. He then clinked his wine glass against mine, saying "cheers...good to be with you!" and we sipped a drink. He then said, "I have noticed a change in you tonight. I don't know what prompted it, but I sure do approve." I moved closer and put my arm around Josh's lower back and said, "First off, I just have missed you. I also finally understand and appreciate how patient you have been with me, far more than you should have. I finally realized that instead of fighting what I have been feeling and rejecting you; that I should at least go out with you with an open mind, like a real date in every respect, and let my feelings take their natural course. It's working I think, and been easier than I expected as it has been a perfect evening for me so far and my "date" even invited me up for a drink!"
Josh put his drink down, moved around in front used both hands to run his fingers through his hair and pull it from behind his ears and let it fall sexily over his ears and surround his face. Never taking his eyes from mine, he put both arms on top my shoulders, turned his face up and closer to mine and said softly, "and now your date would love a kiss." I also put my drink down and put my arms around Josh, whose trim frame was easily encircled by my arms.
We looked into each other's eyes several seconds before leaning forward with the gentlest of kisses and then wrapped each other in a snug embrace. Our lips then returned to each other and remained gently touching but with our mouths opening to each other. I felt lightning shoot down my spine and the world stood still for me as we kissed for the first time. Far from feeling strange, it was the most intense feeling a kiss had ever given me and physically not really different from kissing a girl. Josh's smaller height and lean physique felt made to fit against me. Finally, Josh stopped and pressed his face against my shoulder, and said, "If you only knew how many times I have dreamed of being kissed by you".
With this comment, my stomach was full of butterflies and this was followed by a progression of more impassioned kissing, hugging and tongue exploration. Josh moved one his hands between the buttons of my shirt and began caressing my chest as we kissed. My groin was stirring as I raised Josh's faced and kissed him aggressively and then replied, "I am not exactly sure about the physical details beyond this, but if you still want me, I am yours tonight." Josh then took my hand and led me towards his bedroom.
Once inside, he pulled the bed covers down and returned close to me and seductively began taking off his shirt, which I then did as well. With our shirts off, we kissed and pressed our bare chests together. Josh's left hand massaged my chest and worked its way down to my waist, where he loosened my belt and unfastened my trousers. As we continued to kiss Josh gently rubbed my rock-hard penis through my underwear, when I again followed his lead and partially undressed him. Finally, Josh stepped back and removed his shoes and took his pants the rest of the way off.
I paused and looked Josh over head-to-toe. He looked unbelievable with his lean, angular body, smooth, nearly hairless light-olive skin, and his beautiful hair, which now was messed up in an impossibly cute way. While he looked at me with his lustful green- brown eyes, I also finished disrobing. We re-embraced and became even more passionate in our kisses. Josh then cupped my hardening penis in his hand and then also placed his alongside it and we rubbed together in his hand. I almost thought I might come right then, but Josh pulled away and went over and lay down in his bed, leaning up on his elbow and beckoning me with his eyes. I slowly walked over and climbed in next to him as he dimmed the light with a remote control.
When we embraced and kissed in bed, I had totally submitted to the passion of the moment but also my intense affection for Josh and my desire to please him. We felt perfect together and I told him so. He then turned me on to my back and began to kiss down my neck working downward to my chest and below. I startled Josh by saying "Stop!" I am sure he initially thought I was getting cold feet, but I said, "I want to do you first. He replied, "Are you sure? You don't have to do anything but let me make you feel good. I don't want to rush you, I want you to be comfortable and tell me if you do not like something and we won't do it. Tell me if you do like something and we will do it some more." As I gently pushed him to his back, I said, "What I want is for you to relax, let me reward you for not giving up on me!"
With that Josh laid back and I began to slowly cover his neck, upper torso and nipples with soft, wet kisses. I gently sucked at his nipples for some time, which definitely aroused him. While working with my mouth, I also used both hands to lightly massage him all over. I got Josh very excited by ticking his naval with my tongue and also kissing firmly where his hip bones pushed against his skin that led to his groin. All this time I had not touched his penis, with either my hands or my mouth, and yet Josh was getting extremely worked-up, which in-turn got me extremely excited, as well. I am not sure how I knew what to do, but part was from knowing what felt good to me and part was my imagination being stimulated by my excited, horny state.
In a very teasing way, I tickled the smooth, fine pubic hair within his crotch and gently cupped his balls in one hand. Slowly, I began to lick his balls with a darting tongue action, which evolved to a wide-open mouth caress of his sack and gently taking each of his balls into my mouth and tickling them with my tongue. Josh was dizzy with excitement and was using his hands to massage my shoulders and head. I stopped monetarily and with a smile leaned up towards Josh and aggressively kissed him on the lips with a wide-open mouth. I then returned to his ball sack and pubic hairs and used my lips and tongue to gently suck on the base of his penis, while tickling the rock-hard vein with my tongue. I then used my tongue to massage his velvety pubic hair patch. I had always gotten a thrill from pleasing girls orally, and it was just as intoxicating to see Josh be so turned because of me and my mouth, tongue, and lips.
If I had stopped right there, the foreplay would not have been that much different than if it had been with a girl. For just a moment I paused, and wondered to myself if I really was ready to perform oral sex on another man, for the idea would have not seemed possible only weeks ago. I looked up into Josh's serene, smiling face and observed his erect medium-thick, 6-7 inch long penis beckoning me, and threw caution to the wind.
I began by slowly going up and down the shaft, alternately licking and gently kissing, until reaching the top. I paused again and gently holding the shaft with my fingers, placed gentle, but moist kisses all around the penis head. This really turned me on as I felt him get harder and harder. I then hovered over the top and used my tongue to tickle the slit. At last, I opened my mouth wide and took in the head and began to suck while also massaging with my tongue.
Once I got acclimated, I began to move up and down while continuing to massage with my tongue. I seemed to get better and better by the moment and soon had a steady rhythm going which I supplemented by using my thumb and forefingers to massage up and down below my mouth, while using the pinky finger to press along the hard throbbing vein. With my free hand I would alternately tickle Josh's pubic hair or balls. I loved having Josh hard in my mouth and I knew there was no turning back.
Given our uncertain past, I think Josh was shocked at how eagerly I was making love to his body. However, I had spent several days fantasizing non-stop and this fueled my passion. Instead of uncertainty, I felt a motivation to satisfy Josh and keep him interested in me, now that I crossed the line in my feelings towards him.
I briefly stopped to lean up and kiss his lips again, before licking up and down his shaft again. With deep strokes, I accelerated the up and down pace, while continuing to massage with both hands. Josh began to moan which I answered with an even faster motion. Josh exclaimed breathlessly, "I'm going to come, Bobby! You need to pull off or I'll come in your mouth!" Drunk with passion and erotic excitement, I not only did not pull off, but I pushed faster and down deeper.
Finally, I heard Josh moan deeply and felt him tense-up. His penis then arched inside my mouth and I then rapidly rubbed my fingers up and down the vein and tickled his balls. Then I felt a huge gush of warm fluid hit the roof of my mouth and throat. This startled me despite logically knowing it was about to happen. While pausing for just an instant to savor the taste, I was beginning to swallow when a second burst erupted in my mouth, and it caused me to involuntarily gag a bit. I had to pull off, cough and collect myself, although I did eventually manage to swallow all of the warm fluid in my mouth between coughs!
Out of breath from gagging, I returned my head to the pillow. Josh seemed alarmed at what had happened and stated, "I am so sorry! I told you that I was about to come and for you to pull off. Are you OK?!" I replied, "I am OK, I just need to catch my breath." Despite the discomfort of coughing and catching my breath, I was warm and serene in the knowledge that I had made Josh delirious with ecstasy, while undertaking a life- changing first experience for myself. I could still taste the remnants of Josh, as he spoke further. "I don't want you to be uncomfortable", Josh continued, "you don't have to let me come in your mouth."
I replied, "Thanks, but what I want to know is, did you enjoy what I did to you, did I please you, did you enjoy coming in my mouth?" "Yes", he exclaimed, "it was incredible...you're incredible." With a sexy smirk, I snuggled up to Josh, "well then, I'll have to just have to practice more to make sure I don't gag in the future when you come. Because I hope I get to have you come in my mouth quite often!" I couldn't believe what I had just said, but I also meant every word!
Josh, feeling relief, kissed me gingerly and then began to reciprocate with his mouth, tongue and hands. Josh was very expert in technique compared to me, even though he was not that experienced either. Although some things were the same about our techniques, the biggest turn-on was the way Josh used his entire body and even his dangling hair to massage me while he worked. It was very relaxing and I completely submitted myself to his efforts.
Whether it was his technique, the intense eroticism of our man-on-man encounter, or my ever deepening feelings for Josh, I had never have so savored receiving oral sex from someone. Josh was able to go very deep into his throat with my shaft and when I came, he effortlessly swallowed the entire load, and then stopped to lick off the residual droplets. He then tickled my highly sensitive balls with his tongue, which sent me into oblivion. Throughout, I had been running my hands through his incredible hair as he worked on me, and Josh I'm sure became aware how his beautiful hair turned me on.
We were both exhausted from the effort and the drinks were having their effect, so we laid back and fell asleep in each other's arms. The morning came quickly and reality set in as I needed to hurry and leave or I would be very late for a work meeting. Josh was going to New York later that day for several days to work on this huge project. Thus, without a lot of romance, we parted ways with just a quick hug and a kiss.
Part Nine: Let's Play House!
The day after, I was so busy that I did not have time to stop and ponder for long what had happened the night before. There was no doubt that Josh and I needed to talk. Unfortunately, we traded messages but never talked until late that night, when he called me at home as I was getting into bed. "Bobby, I don't want to sound pushy, but last night was perfect to me, as perfect as anything can be. I won't be back until Friday, and I really can't wait to see you again. Would you consider coming over Friday night and spending the weekend with me?"
I would be lying if I told you that I was not having some anxiety about what had taken place...partly due to excitement...partly due to the uneasy knowledge that I had purposely had sex with a man, and loved it! It was all so new and foreign to the way I had thought about myself, previously. However, as Josh beckoned me, my feelings for him emerged and any resistance I was feeling was overwhelmed. I replied, "of course!"
Josh later left a message to tell me what to pack based upon general plans, including a tuxedo for a charity event Saturday night. I was in a haze the rest of the week at work and had difficulty concentrating. Every time I would have second thoughts or anxiety about what had transpired, I eventually overcame it with excitement about this new romantic relationship with Josh. When I closed my eyes, I saw Josh smiling at me!
I spent extra time packing Friday, being somewhat disorganized and also filled with anxiety and anticipation. I also tried to look my best and I dressed more stylishly than my usual casual look. After being sent up by the doorman, as I approached his door, I couldn't help but be nervous...if only due to my anticipation of seeing Josh again! On one hand, I was afraid that the magic we had experienced might not be there as strong as before, yet I was also scared about the intensity of my newly awakened feelings.
Finally, I knocked on the door and after a few minutes I was surprised to see a cherubic man in his late 40"s answer the door that somehow looked familiar. "Oh, hi!" he said, "You must be Bobby...come-in, come-in, my name is Hickson. Josh is getting dolled up and I am just finishing delivering dinner." Then it occurred to me that Hickson was the renowned caterer to the local "rich and famous" and I had seen him working at the Tea Dance where Josh and I had met. He was frenetic as he set up the meal.
While he finished setting up a dinner buffet on warmers, we visited and I complimented him on his successful business. He then said, "I usually don't do dinners for only two people, but I ran into Josh and he told me that he was having a very special guest visit and I insisted on bringing you two dinner. Josh is so generous, everyone would love to find a way to reciprocate and do something nice for him! Don't worry, if you don't want to eat right away, it will still be delicious as long as you keep the tops on the serving trays and the burners lit." As I walked Hickson to the door, he turned, winked and said, "I hope your evening and weekend is perfect! You two deserve each other...in the best of ways. "Bye Josh!" he yelled, as he scurried out the door. I couldn't help chuckling at the cartoonish, but charming Hickson as I turned to walk back towards the main living room.
As I was walking, I was somewhat startled to hear "Hello, Bobby" in a soft voice from the shadows in the hallway to the bedrooms, where Josh was standing holding his hands together shyly in front. Except I had to look twice to be sure it was Josh instead of a Versace model! "Wow!" I said with an excited smile, "Jackson wasn't kidding when he said you were dolling- up." Josh seemed very uneasy and said, "I did some shopping in New York in the Village and probably went over-board, please don't think I have lost my mind. You, on the other hand, are a sight for sore eyes, you look very handsome!"
"Let me look at you", I said as we slowly walked closer. As I viewed him from bottom to top, he had on reddish brown clogs with no socks but a single ankle bracelet made of a leather string and small multiple color stone beads. He was wearing low-cut black leather pants that laced-up in front and had no back pockets or belt loops. The pants were not tight exactly but they fit Josh's angular body so perfectly they looked like they had been "sprayed on".
He was wearing a black see-through sheer long sleeve shirt un-buttoned and left un- tucked like a jacket. Underneath was a sleeveless reddish brown crushed velvet shirt that stopped about three inches above the top of his low-cut leather pants and showed off his taught waist. From the midriff down he like a female fashion model with his trim waist long slender legs, accented by the low-cut leather pants and midriff shirt. Josh's physique was such that he could probably easily buy jeans and shirts in women's departments.
He had no watch on but had a wrist bracelet and choker necklace with stones similar to the ankle bracelet. On the pinkie of one hand he had a simple thin silver band, on the other hand ring finger, a turquoise stone silver ring. He was also wearing earrings in each ear that were simple silver oval-shaped hoops that each had several tiny beads on them that matched his bracelets. These hoop earrings were larger in diameter hung lower than the more subtle ones I had seen him wear and really stood out.
As my eyes focused on Josh's beautiful greenish-brown eyes, his hairstyle had become apparent. Instead of simply combing it straight back conservatively behind his ears like usual, Josh had the top half of his hair pulled back into to a pony tail starting near the crown of his head. However, the front of his face was framed by two inch-wide sections of hair that were not pulled back and dangled down in a very casual way. As I walked behind him to inspect further, I saw a beautiful shag layer of silky hair down to the base of his neck underneath the ponytail.
His hair seemed much longer than before because it was usually combed conservatively behind his ears, and I really hadn't noticed how much it had grown since I had met him. It occurred to me that it might be because I had encouraged Josh to let his hair grow out, the first time we went out together. Knowing I was looking at his hair, Josh said, "I went to a new stylist, who says if I keep letting it grow out she can be more creative."
I was actually speechless from excitement, and but also enjoying leaving Josh in suspense. I had never seen anyone, guy or girl, look so sexy. It was almost like Josh was able to read deep-buried desires in my head as he created his look. "Well...?" Josh asked sheepishly. I said nothing but from behind lifted the shag of hair and sensuously kissed his neck for several seconds and continued with quicker soft kisses. Josh closed his eyes, let out a sigh and leaned back towards me, as I put my free arm around his waist and began rubbing my hand back and forth across his bare midriff, and pressed the growing bulge in my pants against his backside. I kissed my way up towards Josh's ears and teased them and the earrings with my tongue. At this point, I finally whispered into his ear, "You're perfect". Josh slowly turned around to face me and our lips met in a patient, sift, sensuous kiss that continued for several minutes.
Josh pulled away and said in a sultry voice, "I am so excited to see you and so glad I get to have you for the weekend. I know that Jackson made this special meal for us but I need you for dinner right now!" "Don't worry, Hickson said the food would keep", I replied, as I spontaneously picked up Josh into my arms like a new bride, and walked towards his bedroom. He loved the chivalry and wrapped his arms around my neck and kissed my ears and cheek while I carried him.
Once in the bedroom, Josh and I giggled as we kissed and helped each other undress like naughty teenagers. Once naked we stood and gently massaged our erect units against each other while still kissing. Josh then pulled away and knelt down in front of me and caressed my balls and cock using only his tongue, yet never taking me into his mouth. As I got really excited, he stood up and pulled down his bed covers and went and laid down in an inviting seductive pose. I joined him and we kissed and hungrily explored each other with our hands. Now familiar in our embrace, we felt perfect together and I was dizzy with excitement! For me it was as exciting as the first time we had been together, with the thrill of knowing what was in store being at least equal to the novelty of our first encounter. I certainly had rapidly evaporating inhibitions.
Josh then made me lay on my back and essentially massaged my body with his. He then expertly began kissing and licking his way from my face to my crotch. After so much teasing Josh gave me the greatest blowjob I had ever experienced. He was much more comfortable and enthusiastic than our first time, and I felt so much more relaxed and full of emotional passion towards Josh. He seemed to really get excited when I would massage his hair or tickle his earrings. When I erupted Josh hungrily swallowed every drop without a problem and afterwards gently tickled me with his tongue while I was still hypersensitive.
After a brief rest I reciprocated in my own style, notably with a much better rhythm and a much greater ability to take him deeper without gagging. Instead of the nervous uncertainty of our first time, when Josh came in my mouth, I was eagerly anticipating his load. I swallowed it easily and really concentrated on savoring his flavor. I decided that I loved the taste! After I lay back, Josh curled up under my arm and snuggled with me warmly. I said "well we seem to be starting right where we left off the other night!"
After we rested a while, we got dressed and served ourselves dinner. True to Hickson's word, by keeping the pasta, sauce and chicken in separate heating trays, the food was fresh and delicious. Jackson had also had prepared a gourmet salad, some unique bread and had left a fine bottle of white wine on ice. Josh turned off all the lights and lit candles on his dining room table. After serving ourselves, we sat across from each other and we raised our wine glasses in a toast to an "us" weekend.
We had a leisurely dinner and really just visited about what we had been doing all week in our respective careers etc. Josh seemed to be really busy with the potential huge project that had kept him traveling to New York a lot. While I still couldn't take my eyes off his extremely beautiful face and all the adornments, our conversation reminded me of how much I also "liked" Josh and respected his intelligence, his sense of humor, his worldly opinions and professional success. Obviously, these very factors in both of us were what had attracted us to each other as friends.
Part Ten: Out and About
By the time we finished our bottle of wine, we had talked for almost two hours. Although it was approaching midnight, the gourmet meal had given both of us a burst of energy and neither of us wanted the night to end. Josh stated, "The night is still young, I want to go out." While I liked the idea of going out, I did not have any immediate ideas on where to go. I also realized with Josh's "look" and our inevitable mutual flirting or even "PDA's" (public displays of affection!) that it would be obvious that we were a couple. I wasn't exactly ready to "out" myself, although I knew, long term, that I probably couldn't try to hide it if Josh and I ended up staying together. The obvious solution was that we decided to go to gay clubs where we could comfortably show affection and no one have a reason to take note of us.
We first went to a large well-known gay dance club. It was quite easy to fade into the crowd since it was large and mixed with all types and ages, although hard to talk over the loud pulsing music. It was actually quite fun to be a spectator at all the action on the dance floor between the horny nocturnal people frenetically dancing. Josh and I danced a few times as well, which is not something I am great at, but it was fun and liberating as well. Josh, on the other hand, had great moves and sexily swiveled his hips as he circled and pressed against me. With his flamboyant dancing, dress and hair, Josh actually became something of a spectacle on the dance floor and I could feel many envious eyes staring at me to see who Josh was dancing with. However, as he danced, Josh made it very clear that he was "with" me, as he repeatedly would put his arms around me and kiss me while we danced, and then hang on my arm when we were not dancing.
After about an hour we went to a more sedate video lounge that was quite upscale in décor and crowd. This club was also more of a mixed crowd of men and women and we were more of the median age compared to the younger crowd at the disco. We snuggled together on a small love seat and enjoyed people watching and talking. Our male waiter was very friendly and made us feel at home. Eventually, we migrated to another area of the club and lost our place on the love seat. The bar was quite crowded now, so we shared a bar stool at the bar with me sitting on it, with Josh leaning back into me between my legs. We alternately held hands over his shoulder, or I kept my arm around his bare midriff. While conspicuous in our affection we actually fit in well and the bartender even gave us a drink on the house because we were so "cute" together.
Eventually Josh's free hand began to discreetly massage my crotch while he continued to lean against me and swayed to the music. I quickly became hard, which he responded to by pressing his ass against my erection. This eventually was leaving us both horny and Josh asked me if I was ready for a new experience. I replied, "so far everything had been a new experience! What do you have in mind?" With that Josh again pressed his ass more firmly against my erection and wiggled in rhythm and saying "guess". Even as I had a rush of anticipation, I replied uneasily, "Are you sure? I've never done something like that, even with a girl. I haven't even seriously thought about it." Josh then said, "me neither, at least I haven't thought about it until lately. But right now, what I'm thinking about is having you inside me!"
With that, and with some mutual uncertainty, we decided to return to the loft. It had been a great night of partying and we were both re-energized and horny. After quickly stripping we were on full attack in bed, consumed with each other. This quickly evolved to going to a 69 position and aggressively servicing each other. Before either of us could climax, Josh laid me on my back, reached into the night-stand drawer and retrieved a condom and newly purchased, unopened tube of KY jelly, which he proceeded to cover my penis with. Josh looked down at me and said, "We don't have to do this, but I would like to try it if you are willing!"
After pausing for a minute, I smiled and I stretched out on the bed, spreading my legs apart. Josh slowly began to straddle my penis while kneeling over me. Very slowly and deliberately he pressed his hole against me and gently worked it up and down until there was partial penetration. Then he gasped as he repeatedly pressed until the head was all the way inside. He took a deep breath as he leaned down to give me a kiss and the began to press up and down more and more, occasionally moaning and grimacing as he took me all the way inside of him. What had initially seemed impossibly tight around my penis now began to feel perfect and with the lubricant, the motion became almost effortless. Soon Josh was become much more intense and rapid in his motion and I responded by arching, in rhythm, upward to meet his thrusts. With my free hands I began to massage his balls and stroke his penis that extended over my stomach.
We become more and more frantic and were both dizzy with the intercourse. Josh was able to continue the motion while still leaning over to attach his open mouth to mine. I finally moaned, "I'm coming!", and arched my back and pressed deeply into him while letting off such an eruption that my balls hurt with effort. Nearly simultaneously, Josh came violently from both his prostrate being massaged internally and from manipulation of his penis and balls with my hands. His initial burst almost reached my face and my stomach and chest were splattered by three separate bursts.
For me it had felt as good to be in Josh's ass as any pussy I had experienced. More importantly, Josh was more enthusiastic than any woman had ever been with me. Something that had been so foreign of a concept had felt as good as anything I had ever felt. Josh was truly exhausted, dizzy and delirious as he pulled off and crumpled up alongside me. "Are you okay?" I asked as I put my arm under his head and pulled him close to my chest. He looked up into my eyes and said, "I am better than okay, I feel complete. I love having you in me."
After resting a while we showered and got into his over-sized indoor Jacuzzi tub, and just sat there with him leaning back into me with my arms around him. Eventually, we dried off and (after changing the sheets!) fell together in bed locked in arms. Although we fell asleep almost immediately, I recognized that I now felt very serene, uninhibited and comfortable with the idea that I was to have another man, at least this man, as a lover. Interestingly, despite being at the two gay bars, I really did not find most of the men there attractive at all. In fact, I was probably more attracted to several femme lesbians. I was uniquely attracted to Josh, who had some near-feminine characteristics, who also disarmed me with his beautiful face, hair, smile and loving attentiveness.
Not surprisingly we both slept late the next morning, and I had to get oriented to being in Josh's loft and in his bed when I awoke. He was already up and I made my way into the kitchen area where he was reading the paper in his robe. We shared a simple long embrace and sweet kiss before settling down to a simple healthy fruit and cereal breakfast. Although we both could have easily become frisky again we were also both tired (and in Josh's case a bit sore), and resisted the temptation to have non-stop sex with each other. Without any firm plans we just enjoyed a leisurely late morning and then went to the park for a relaxing jog. Later we went to a modern art museum that I had never been to, but Josh was quite the tour-guide for, and otherwise just relaxed.
Even wearing casual clothes, Josh was able to be very sexy and I got the sense he was stepping out in dress more than he had in the past. During that day, he wore simple small gold hoop earrings and brushed his hair down so it covered his ears completely and flowed past his collar in gentle waves, having been layered by the stylist. He wore a different, but simple choker necklace and bracelet combo. Finally, he wore very short cut-offs with a simple black sleeveless T-shirt that was tucked in. Without question, Josh was genetically gifted in natural appearance and the way clothes seemed made to fit him. His looks could turn any girl's head and obviously, many guys as well.
When Josh dressed so conspicuously, few would not automatically assume he was gay, and I told him with a smile that he wasn't trying very hard to be discreet! He replied by simply asking me if I liked him dressed up like that or would I rather him dress conservative. I answered with the truth, saying that the more androgynous and unconventional he looked, the more it turned me on. Josh then said, "Well, if the truth be known, this is really the true me coming out. I don't want to be a girl or anything, but I have always loved to wear fashionable clothes. Maybe it comes from my mother who used to be a model and she elevated the fashion consciousness of the family. Also, I know you are not physically attracted to masculine types, so it turns me on to dress like this and be attractive to you in a feminine or androgynous way. At the end of the day, as long as I please you, I don't really care what other people think anyway."
Although it didn't concern me greatly, it occurred to me that almost anyone who saw us together might make the assumption that I was also gay. I wondered if I would bump into someone I knew. Like Scarlet O'Hara, I decided that I would worry about that tomorrow, not today! While we were out and about, we did mostly (but not completely) avoid public "flirting" and displays of affection, although it was quite difficult!
Part Eleven: Bobby and Josh Steppin' Out
As evening approached we were scheduled to go to a black-tie gala at a local benefactor's mansion in support of the ballet, of which Josh was a major contributor and event organizer. Having second thoughts, Josh approached me and said we could skip it if I wanted, and that he would be just as happy doing something alone with me. I told him that I was happy to go and that he shouldn't skip something this important to one of his favorite civic causes. So we both put on our tuxedos, and went to the party in his luxurious BMW two-seater sports car. I had gotten accustomed to Josh's more eccentric appearance the last 24 hours so it was disarming to see him back to having his hair conservatively combed back. He looked great, but as more the stylish, GQ Josh.
We arrived at the stately mansion; valet parked the car and entered the party. Not long after we arrived we were greeted by the late-30"s hostess, Abigail, who was very stylish and attractive, as might be expected from one the city's "high society" ladies. She was quite the center of attention and a bustle of energy, in stark contrast to her 60ish husband who was genial but much more subdued. Abigail was very friendly to me as well and quickly secured us glasses of wine from the waiters. Abigail and Josh clearly had a special relationship as she made a big fuss over him and as I learned they had served together on several key committees in support of the ballet. Rather than make Josh introduce me to every single person he knew, I told him to work the crowd of patrons, and I would fend for myself. This was actually a good plan as the event was a fundraiser Josh had helped Abigail organize and he had networking duties
I casually knew a few of the attendees and knew of several more due their high community profile. I enjoyed just mingling among the mixture of artsy and professional types at the party. A number of dancers from the ballet attended and I had a nice conversation with one of the female principals. It is amazing how many hours and how disciplined they have to be to dance at such a high level. Several male ballet dancers were there as well and were conspicuous because of their relative youth and athletic physiques. The party took up the entire spacious downstairs and extended outside to the patio and around a huge pool. Josh would periodically check in with me and we would briefly get to hang out, but he kept getting pulled away to greet some other patron. I think he felt bad about "abandoning" me, but I was quite impressed with how hard he worked on behalf of the cause.
While I was somewhat alone admiring the home's library room, Abigail walked in and exclaimed, "Bobby, there you are! I am so glad you came tonight!" After I complimented her on the party and her home, Abigail began a fairly extensive series of questions about my background and my professional life. She was very adept at doing this while not seeming too invasive and seemed impressed with my accomplishments.
Then she went on a long description of her relationship with Josh. "Josh is one of the most talented, nicest people I have ever met. He has a big heart and is the best fundraiser ever, in addition to being extremely generous himself. He is like a renaissance man in that he is so intellectually curious about everything and so artistically talented at the same time." I replied cautiously, "I agree with you on all points, but you should know that compared to his talents, I am probably in the minor leagues!" Abigail with a sly grin said, "Oh, I am sure you are quite talented yourself."
Abigail, more seriously, then said, "In the two years since we have gotten to know each other, I wished for Josh to find love and companionship, because I know that it is the missing piece of his life. Lord knows I tried to set him up enough times with my single girlfriends. He is such a catch, and so good looking to boot! Josh eventually told me that my girlfriends were not really what he what he was in search of." I said nothing but smiled at Abigail who then said, "Tonight is the happiest I have ever seen Josh look. He looks like he is on top of the world. If it is because of you, Bobby, then you must be quite a catch yourself. I truly wish you the best, both of you. Josh is a very special person to me and a lot of other people. We truly want him to be happy!" With that, Abigail gave me a warm hug, a kiss on the cheek and went back to the party. Her legendary social instincts could not have been more on point. The sincerity of her concern for Josh made me feel lucky to be the object of his affections.
Later, while the remaining guests continued to plow through the wine bottles, I was pulled to the side by a dapper, masculine man named Edward, maybe five years older than me, who was a third generation "trust jockey" arts benefactor. After some introductions and small talk, he asked me if I had arrived with Josh. I told him yes but said little more. He then said rather pointedly, "Josh is quite a guy, I wish he felt the same way about me. Forgive me for being so forward, but I find you very attractive, and if you and Josh are not an exclusive item, then I would like to take you to dinner sometime...perhaps in Paris?"
With that, he thrust his calling card with a phone number into my coat pocket. It was obvious to me that Edward's forwardness had a lot to do with all the drinks he had consumed, as well as the fact that his inherited wealth allowed to get away with more social "flubs" than others. Trying to be gracious, but get out of the awkward situation, I simply said, "Edward it was nice to meet you, but I don't want you to be disappointed or surprised if I don't call". He then smiled and simply told me to keep his card. Edward's family was well known and his money and handsome good looks would be appealing to some but not me. Having worked hard for everything I had, it was hard to like someone who had neither talent nor ambition.
On the other hand, how could I be sure about anything I felt anymore? Edward had surmised from my arrival with Josh that I was gay, and felt comfortable in approaching me. Why should I not assume that similar encounters might occur in the future? Thankfully, he finally moved on to other targets. Just after Edward walked away, Josh arrived and asked if I was ready to go. Obviously, since most everyone else had left, it was time to go. At the door, Abigail hugged both of us around the neck simultaneously, which had the effect of putting Josh and I cheek-to-cheek. "You two are just too cute!" she (and the wine) exclaimed.
Part Twelve: Perfect Solution for Jealousy
When we finally escaped to the car, Josh said, "I didn't say anything to Abigail about us, but she figured things out. After she talked to you, she came and told me that if I let you get away, she'd never forgive me!" Then more somberly, Josh inquired, "I saw Edward talking to you, was he hitting on you? He used to flirt with me after it got around that I was open to being with guys. He flirts with a lot of people, but doesn't have the history of ending up in any extended relationships."
I answered Josh nonchalantly with, "Well Edward did flirt with me, although I think he would still rather flirt with you. He was kind of drunk and asked me to dinner." Josh asked semi-sarcastically, "and when are you going to dinner with Edward?" I replied without much seriousness, "No plans, he just gave me his card and told me to call." The car suddenly, became quiet and I quickly realized that Josh was worried that I was actually interested in Edward. I took out Edward's card, crumpled it up and said firmly, "Josh, do not be jealous, I am not attracted to Edward, I am attracted to you." He replied, "I'm sorry for being jealous, you didn't do anything to cause it. But I don't have any claim on you. If you did want to go out with him, or anyone else for that matter, I really wouldn't have a say in it".
Instead of a senseless debate about Josh's irrational insecurity, I leaned across the console and started nuzzling and kissing his ears and fondling his crotch. He soon began to harden, and seductively I told him that if he would hurry and get home I would show him why he had nothing to be jealous of. As he drove I continued to kiss him and unzipped his pants and pulled out his penis. I leaned down and took him into my mouth while he drove. He half-heartedly told me to stop, as he couldn't concentrate on driving. I told him I wasn't going to stop until he got home. He got to his parking garage before I had finished my "work" and he struggled to zip his pants prior to getting out of the car. We were laughing and giggling like naughty kids, as we were practically running to get to his loft.
Once inside we went straight to his bed leaving our clothes strewn about the bedroom. I was quite aggressive and hungrily kissed Josh before resuming the job I had left unfinished from the car. After vigorously taking Josh deeper as he lay back, I then turned over and positioned my head tilted up with pillows against the headboard. I looked up at Josh seductively and said, "I want you to fuck my mouth". Josh obliged by straddling my chest while on his knees and held on to the headboard for support. He proceeded to thrust in and out of my mouth with increasing force as he became confident I could "handle it". I surprised myself with how well I could receive his forceful thrusts and I was drunk with desire to feel Josh's warm fluid in my throat. I wanted him to know my passion and desire for him was unquestioned.
I began to tickle his balls while he moved even more rapidly. Without stopping the action I reached for the nightstand top and retrieved the K-Y jelly and put a gob of it on my fingertips. Continuing in and out of my mouth, Josh shuddered as I touched the cold lubricant to his anus. With my index finger, I began to massage the inside of his ass, which caused to moan. Then I added a second finger and began to not only thrust in and out and simultaneously twisted my fingers around in a rhythmic motion. Josh was moaning and I closed my eyes and lustfully worked my tongue as he thrust in-and-out while using one hand to tickle his balls and the other to worked my fingers in his ass, in rhythm with his thrusts. With a groan, Josh began to come and I pushed my fingers harder into his hole and firmly pressed up against his vein and balls. The result was an explosion into my mouth in several bursts that I "expertly" swallowed. Josh nearly collapsed on top of me before I could extricate my fingers from his ass and his penis from my mouth. He fell against me in bed caressing my chest while his head rested on my shoulder and arm.
After letting Josh rest for only a few moments, I again seized the initiative and resumed massaging his anus with my lubricated fingers. Now with Josh on his back, I straddled his chest and let him lick me until I was very hard. Josh tried to get me to fuck his mouth also, but that is not the fucking I had in mind! Placing a pillow under Josh's butt and lower back, I spread Josh's legs and covered my penis with a condom and K-Y. Josh in turn, dug his feet into the bed and arched up his rear towards me. I gently probed his hole several times with my penis head and gently pressed the head inside. Josh was easier to penetrate than the previous night since I had been massaging him immediately before. Soon I was able to press all the way in and he let out a sigh with a deep breath. We started slowly and began a rhythmic intercourse that progressively became more intense.
Once I was fully inside, Josh wrapped his limber legs around my thighs and butt and used them to pull me into him as we continued. I was amazed at how naturally we were able to have frontal intercourse, which allowed for us to kiss and hug at the same time. I held out as long as I could, but was beginning to fell an orgasm coming on. Josh's penis was pressed underneath my stomach when we were in tight embrace. As I came close to coming I used my arms to push up and support me as I continued thrusting into Josh. He, in turn, used one hand to fondle my balls from underneath and the other to stroke himself. With a deep groan, I had an intense orgasm deep into Josh, which was followed a few seconds later by Josh coming again all over his stomach. We were a mess to say the least and took a leisurely shower together before going to bed in our, now, familiar embrace.
Before going to sleep, I said to Josh, "hopefully actions speak louder than words, but I want you to know that I only want to be with you and I'm 100% yours. I won't go out with others, guys or girls." Josh smiled warmly and said, "I feel foolish for acting jealous. I only want to be with you too and I have been exclusive for some time now...basically since I met you. At least if we are exclusive to each other, we are giving it our best shot." I jokingly replied, "Then it's official! You and I are going steady. I need to give you my ID bracelet to wear!" Josh then joked that he wanted to wear my high school letter jacket as well.
So with this simple discussion, very early in our relationship, Josh and I avoided the petty jealousies that undermine many relationships before they have a chance to succeed. I thought to myself about how much things had changed in my life...that I was now in an exclusive relationship with a guy. Was I really gay? Had I always been gay? For me however, the only answer was all about being with Josh.
I was awakened the next morning with the sensations that someone was touching me. As I gathered my wits, I realized that Josh was, in fact, fondling me with his hand and kissing my ear at the same time. I looked over at him and smiled to which he replied, "I'm sorry to wake you, but I can't help myself. Josh then slowly caressed me and loved my body, culminating with my penis in his mouth. After a wonderful morning orgasm, I reciprocated with a far more gentle and deliberate pace than the night before. It was nice to wake up together and have unhurried sex! We had a very relaxing day, which included going to the movies and shopping. After an early dinner out, I made way back to my "lonely" townhouse to get organized for the coming week. Josh, in turn, was now traveling to New York every week and was leaving early in the morning.
My Unexpected Love--Parts 13 to Conclusion
Part Thirteen: Becoming Part of the "Family"
When Josh returned on Thursday, he wanted for us to have dinner with his sister Jenny, and her roommate. It turns out that Josh and Jenny had cleared the air, and talked about our (now) "boyfriends" status, and the she wanted make up for her behavior at the party and celebrate by cooking us dinner. Jenny's roommate, Ashley, was very okay with the idea of Josh and me, and as an artist was very liberal in her views anyway. Jenny was quite warm to me when we arrived and gave me a big hug. The rest of the evening was just fun visitation and a few drinks.
Jenny and Ashley toasted the "two lovebirds" and wished us success. Jenny, in her witty way, did make some funny comments about us, and also made fun of Josh's emerging androgynous look, with the comment that they can share hair styling tips. Josh and Jenny are extremely close and it was wonderful to feel that she now endorsed our relationship, and she was as close to Josh as ever. Since it was closer to Jenny's place, we stayed at my townhouse and had a wonderfully sexual reunion after four days. The more Josh and I were together, we seemed to become increasingly uninhibited and expert on how to turn each other on.
Over the next few weeks Josh tended to be out of town 3-4 days a week, which I filled with extra hours at work, exercise and a few short business trips of my own. One thing we made time for was to both get tested for AIDS. Both of us had been tested previously, and had no reason to be concerned based upon our recent history, but we wanted to be certain. Upon learning that we were both healthy, our anal intercourse became much more of a thrill as I no longer needed to wear a condom!
On the weekends, in addition to the shows like we had always attended together, we began to emerge as a couple within Josh's circles, which was made easy since Josh had previously come out as either bisexual or gay to almost everyone of consequence. Thus, with my concurrence, the next several weeks were filled with a number of activities and gatherings where I openly attended as Josh's "significant other". Within his circles, I was warmly embraced and made to feel very comfortable.
Josh and I came from very different social circles and I enjoyed meeting his friends and professional associates, none of whom appeared to care that Josh happened to be dating a guy. We were seldom the only same-sex couple at most events anyway. Given my background, I initially felt awkward when out as Josh's boyfriend, although it became more natural quickly. Over time it actually became a source of social confidence.
One notable occasion was when we went to an open house at his design firm. As with most creative environments there were other openly gay employees there, both men and women. I did not feel that his colleagues were apprehensive over the idea of Josh being gay, but perhaps a bit about being around the "boss's boyfriend". Most people seemed generally cool to the idea that we were a couple, however. This was an important issue since he was fully "out" at his firm.
Thus, over time it allowed me to be a regular part of Josh's activities and also allowed for Josh to migrate his appearance when he did not have a business reason to appear conservative. For example, he now almost always wore earrings and as his hair continued to grow longer, he had it styled into a flowing layer-cut, which could also be pulled together in a high "schoolgirl" ponytail. The style changes were either gradual enough that either people did not take much note, or were non-judgmental about Josh's changing style. He definitely looked different than the day we had met, however!
We also attended a dinner party at Abigail's for about 20 people. It was a predictably eclectic group, with a "diversity awareness" combination of genders, sexual orientations, races and nationalities. The conversations were remarkably interesting and I enjoyed the exposure to such an interesting group. Abigail doted on both Josh and me, and by association with Josh, she and I were becoming friends in our own right.
Edward, the "trust jockey" was also there and with some embarrassment, apologized to me for his forwardness at the earlier party. As I assured him that no offense was taken, I took note that his "date" for the evening was a male ballet dancer in his mid-20"s, named Eric that I had seen at the earlier party. As the party unfolded it became clear that Eric and Edward had also become quite a couple as they continually had their hands on one another. Whether genuine affection for Edward or seeking the political influence that might result in his promotion within the dance company, Eric clearly had Edward under his spell and had a "sugar daddy" sponsor for as long as he wanted. With my cynicism momentarily set aside, I wished them the best as they left the party holding hands.
For my part, I chose to put some distance from my comparatively small social circles rather than deal with disclosures. It wasn't really that difficult; as most people were too busy with their own lives to notice I was not around as much. If asked, I would sometimes just say that I had been real busy at work and had been traveling, which was often true. Jenny assisted in this as she happily attended a few functions that were better if I had a female date. In fact, Josh and I sometimes would "double date" with Jenny and Ashley just because we enjoyed being with them and it allowed us to go more places where appearances mattered. At work, due to the strict "big-firm" guidelines about sexual harassment, I benefited from the culture at work where people avoided, due to company policy, asking anyone too many personal questions. I was not close to many "work" friends outside work, anyway.
Family disclosures, sadly, were not a big issue for me since my parents were both deceased from smoking-related diseases. I have two sisters who I love and like, but seldom see or talk to since they live in another town. When and if I ever tell them about Josh I think they will have a lot of nosy questions, but ultimately will be too caught up in their own worlds to spend much time worrying about mine!
Shelly's brother Bill had become aware of Josh and I when we were at a business social function where both Josh's firm and Bill's floral design firm had collaborated. I found it unusual that Bill did not seem at all surprised to learn that Josh and I were together. Maybe he knew something about me that I didn't as he took credit (jokingly, I think) for arranging the seating chart so we could meet. He also appeared very excited for us (Bill also being a member of Josh's fan club!) but promised discretion. After some thought, instead I asked him to tell Shelly whenever he thought appropriate and for her to reveal it to Tim, if she thought it wouldn't destroy our friendship. Shelly apparently did not give Tim the choice of not accepting my change, as Josh and I were soon invited to Tim and Shelly's new place for dinner along with Bill and his partner.
During pre-dinner cocktails and after some small talk, Tim and I had a conversation off to the side. I broke the ice with, "well I guess you've heard about some changes in my life." Nervously, without eye contact, Tim replied, "yeah! I was surprised to say the least. I never would have seen it coming. Since we are friends, and used to chase girls together, physical sex part is hard for me to visualize. Are you sure about this?"
I replied, "I would never have seen this coming either! All I can say is I am very happy...as happy as I have ever been. For me this is mostly about being with a unique person, Josh, than pursuing some long hidden desire. I'm not really different than the person that you have known all these years that dated girls, other than having a more open mind. I promise you I have never even thought about having sex with 99.9% of guys I know and certainly not you, in particular!
Tim laughed and said, "Well, I am glad to hear you never wanted to hit on me. I didn't think so! What the hell, I guess a blowjob is a blowjob, is a blowjob! Seriously, Bobby, I don't have a choice but to be cool with this. My newlywed wife won't permit it, and besides, we've been good friends too long. I have to admit, Josh is unique and somehow you two look natural together. I won't tell our other friends unless and until you ask me to help in making people aware." With a cling of our cocktail glasses, we talked about other things like the old friends we were.
Part Fourteen: Meet the Parents
As comfortable as I had become being Josh's "significant other" around town, I was definitely nervous when Josh insisted we fly to Santa Fe on a weekend to visit his parents, who had retired there after handing over the design firm to Josh. Having faith in Josh, I agreed to go and we arrived mid-evening at a nice master planned community where his parents had a very nice home. Josh and I were warmly greeted by his mother, but rather formally by his father.
Josh's mother had formerly been a fashion model and was still thin and willowy, with beautiful hair and stylish clothes. She was at least 15 years younger than his father and was strikingly good looking, especially for someone in her mid-50"s. In fact she looked at least ten years younger. The resemblance between Josh and his mother was remarkable and it was obvious where Josh's distinct looks had come from. Josh's father was a nice-looking man in his early seventies but more average in features. Jenny, perhaps favored her father in appearance, but was really more of a blend of both.
At his mother's insistence we put our belongings into the same guest bedroom with only a queen bed, showing her acceptance of our relationship. After some initial greeting, Josh became immersed in discussions about the firm and projects Josh was working on. I could see that his father was very proud of Josh's professional accomplishments. In the meantime, Josh's mother doted on me while we visited in the kitchen and wanted to know every detail of my background and what I did for a living etc. She told me how happy was to meet me as Josh had told her many good things. Plus, she noted how happy Josh seemed to be because of me.
She also warned me not to be upset if Josh's father was distant towards me and talked about her view of Josh's sexuality. She said, "His father is just more formal by nature and it is still emotionally hard for him to understand that Josh is different sexually even though he is certainly not in denial. He won't blame you for this though, and he knows that if he wants to have a relationship with Josh, then he has to accept this part of Josh."
His mother continued, "as for me, even when he was young I could tell Josh was not like other boys, and I used to worry that he would be unhappy if he forced himself to conform to his father's image. He couldn't help it if he was different and we tried to build up his confidence even as the other kids might give him a hard time for being girly or a sissy. I think Jenny is closer to Josh because she always tried to defend him and Josh always treated her like she was a princess. He is such a wonderful son and a wonderful person, how can I not support his being different in sexual orientation? I have actually been looking forward to the day when he would bring someone like you home that truly makes him happy."
The next day we visited the sights in the morning as a group. In the afternoon, Josh's father wanted to watch a sporting event on television, and I volunteered to stay and watch it with him while Josh and his mother went shopping at the arts and crafts markets. As we watched television together, we became immersed in the action and we drank beer and engaged in the typical banter any two guys do when watching sports. Although he didn't say so, I think it surprised him that I was a pretty typical guy, probably not much different than he had originally expected Josh to become. He became much friendlier as the day went on and we talked a lot about the state of the financial markets, my specialty. We all went out to dinner and had a great time as a group. Other than Josh's hair being longer, he dressed conservatively for the weekend.
The next day as we got ready to depart, Josh's mother gave me a warm embrace and Josh's father smiled and shook my hand saying, "come back anytime, we'd love to have you." On the plane ride home I asked Josh, "Well, did I pass the test?" Josh laughed and replied, "of course you did! Actually, dad must have really liked you to be as friendly as he was. He is pretty reserved by nature and I am sure he still hopes I will recover from my attraction to men. My mother would be nice to anyone I brought home, but she definitely thinks you're great. She noted, however, that she could tell you are also attracted to women, and she seemed surprised that you and I had found each other. She warned me to understand that I need to understand what attracts you to sustain our relationship. I didn't give her too many details but she's pretty intuitive." For me the weekend ended up being a total success and I felt a big load uplifted!
Part Fifteen: Bobby and Josh Take New York
Josh's New York trips continued to dominate his work life and the time was winding down to where Josh's firm's final proposal would be judged against others. It was for a mixed-use office and retail project that would actually be in Florida, but was being developed by a group from New York. Thus, Josh continued to work on the on his comprehensive design proposal along with a team from his firm nearly every business day for three weeks solid. The stakes were high as the project was large and it would be extremely lucrative for years to come for Josh and his associates if the were the winning proposal.
The final week of proposals finally arrived and would be decided on the following Friday morning. Josh and I hardly had time to speak, as he was exhausted when he called me late at night from New York. I missed him terribly, however, and I decided on a whim to go to New York and told Josh that I would meet him at his hotel late Friday afternoon and we would stay the weekend. He agreed to extend the hotel stay until Sunday and would instruct the front desk to have a key waiting for me.
Upon arriving in New York at mid-day Friday, I got the key and unpacked my things in Josh' Central Park-view room at the Pierre Hotel. I then went to 5th avenue and did some special shopping. About 4:30PM, I was waiting in the room and I heard the key in the door and Josh come in looking frazzled but excited to see me. Before he could say much of anything, I insisted he be quiet and not say a word. He put his things down, and I proceeded to slowly undress him as he stood silently. After he was undressed, I eased Josh into an expensive red silk robe I had purchased...one for him...and a blue one for me that I was already wearing!
Now with both of us in our silky robes, I went over and poured us both glasses of champagne from the iced bottle that I had ordered. We gathered close together, and with a clink of our glasses I said, "win, lose or draw, your proposal was the best because it was the best you could do, and you're the best! I am so proud of how hard you worked and so proud to be the one you want to be with. And now I am going to relax you and reward you for all your hard work. And I don' want to hear a word from you until I am done!" After sipping the champagne, I made Josh sit on an ottoman in front of a large TV chair and sitting on the chair, I massaged his scalp, neck and shoulders from behind.
Next, pushing the ottoman against the chair, I had Josh lay back and I massaged his calves, thighs, stomach, chest and shoulders from the front while he relished the attention with his eyes closed. At this point I was leaning over Josh and I leaned down and softly kissed his lips. This evolved into deep passionate kisses as I continued to massage his upper torso. I then began kissing my way back down Josh' body until reaching his crotch. I knelt on the floor between Josh's legs that hung over the ottoman and proceeded to orally service Josh with all the lust and passion within me.
I felt more thrilled than ever to feel Josh harden in my mouth as I had truly become addicted to the sensation of his orgasm splashing in my mouth. With moans of satisfaction, Josh came and I swallowed eagerly. For several minutes afterwards, Josh laid back with my face resting alongside his crotch.
Finally, I grabbed our glasses and quickly moved to the bed, sitting up and beckoning Josh. "Now", I said, "tell me all about it." Josh exclaimed with a chuckle, "you are too much! What am I going to do with you?" I replied, "anything you want!" While we sat on the bed snuggling and sipping champagne, Josh then relayed that his firm had not only won the bid but that the project was being upsized. It would be a windfall for him and the firm, with years of lucrative work and the need to upsize the staff. I was so happy to get to share Josh' special moment, and after we talked about this and everything else, Josh began to kiss me and fondle me, then a wonderful oral servicing. We then took a nap in each other' arms.
After resting for a few hours, we dressed and went to see a Broadway show and then went to late dinner in a hip restaurant in the Tribeca area of Manhattan. Both were fun and relaxing. While we were at dinner, I presented a small wrapped gift box to Josh that I had purchased on my shopping spree earlier in the day. Josh gave me a funny look and then opened the wrapper and box to find a set of diamond stud earrings from Tiffany'. Josh looked shocked and exclaimed, "these are so beautiful, I can' believe you got these for me!" Josh quickly got up from the table and went to the restroom and replaced his simple gold hoops with the diamond earrings.
Upon his return Josh' beautiful face was framed by his flowing hair and accented by the earrings that sparkled with the lights in the restaurant. He sat for several minutes looking into my eyes and said, "I love these but you shouldn't have spent so much money on me!" I replied with a smile, "Money is no object if it means giving a special gift to the person you love." Josh paused, looking at me longingly and said simply, "I love you too." This was the first time we had used the word "love". From that moment on, however, we seemed to say "I love you" constantly. When we returned to the hotel we passionately demonstrated our love in bed.
The rest of the weekend was relaxing and romantic. We both had been to New York many times so we didn't feel the need to cram too many activities in. We got up Saturday late morning and jogged in Central Park and toured two museums after brunch. At night we simply went to dinner at another trendy restaurant and then went to an upscale piano bar that was about 80% gay in attendance. We thought about going to a dance club as well, but instead we both felt frisky and indulged each other in bed.
Late Sunday morning we woke up about the same time. Josh was snuggled with his back against my chest and my arms around him, when he stated, "I want to wake up every morning in your arms. Will you move in with me? I have plenty of room in my place for both of us!" My affirmative response was immediate and came from my mouth and although it was an oral response, it was not a verbal one!
Part Sixteen: Living Large
So after we flew home Sunday afternoon, I went to Josh's place for the night. The next day we both took the day off and made several trips to my place to gather most of my personal items and clothes. I basically moved my things into one of the large furnished but unused bedrooms in Josh's place, which had its own bathroom and a nook with a desk. Although this room allows me to have my own "space", at night we always end up in Josh's room together. I actually have not spent the night in my own townhouse since returning from New York! I kept my own phone number but had the line installed in my room at Josh's and had mail forwarded as well.
Finally, after about 6 weeks I knew that our living arrangement was not "temporary", and I rented my place to a young professional who was thrilled to find a furnished rental unit. Now many months after Josh and I declared our love in New York, as housemates, our love has only blossomed further. I am pretty easy to get along with as a roommate and Josh is too. We never seem to have some of the issues people have when they are roommates.
Our living arrangement also has the advantage of being able to appear that Josh and I are just roommates in his large loft. While this is a nice option, it has not really been necessary very often as there aren't reasons to avoid being open anymore. More and more of my non-work acquaintances are aware through word-of-mouth and others have figured it out through chance encounters with Josh and me. We are a pretty obvious gay couple to anyone who sees us together, in no small measure since Josh is often "flaming" in appearance and people draw conclusions.
As people in my circles have become aware, some people have become former friends through abandonment; some are polite but are stand-offish; whereas others go out of their way to embrace us as a couple. I am sure that I have been the butt of certain people's jokes, but I am not sensitive about this, because I am now very comfortable with who I am and especially who I am in love with. However, specific reactions have been unpredictable...one friend, for example, confided to me that he was also gay. Some of the detailed questions I have gotten make me wonder about certain others. For some reason, female acquaintances are usually quite supportive.
In the bedroom, Josh and I are totally in sync, and we are now quite expert at what turns the other on. Like most guys, we both love sex so it happens pretty often and probably more than for most heterosexual couples. However, our sexual relationship initially evolved from and continues to be an extension of our love relationship. We try to always be there if the other wants to make love. We keep things varied and try to avoid a set pattern of our sexual activities. Sometimes we have a "sex binge" where we become insatiable and just spend the whole evening (or day!) in bed.
Josh has stayed strictly a "bottom" and me strictly a "top" when we have anal sex, which has become a huge part of our relationship. Because we have become so skilled at it with each other, for me it is very similar as intercourse with a woman. For Josh, however, receiving me anally is the defining activity of his sexual self awareness as a gay man. While we try different positions, I prefer to be in a position where I can see the pleasure on Josh's face while I am moving inside of him.
However, I still both love oral giving and receiving. I love the sensation of Josh's growing erections in my mouth and the familiar taste of his orgasms. I love seeing his excitement that I create for him. When Josh goes down on me I like to help hold his long hair out of the way and massage his head. It is hard to imagine ever becoming bored with our sex life!
We both flirt with each other and also enjoy romancing each other with spontaneous gifts or activities. For example, I have given Josh other gifts from Tiffany's including an unusual gold bead necklace with a diamond-drop centerpiece and a diamond tennis bracelet. Fortunately, money...a problem for many couples...is just the opposite for us. I am financially secure in my own right and Josh is now wealthy from his design firm and the large project. Considering I have been living rent-free and we share expenses, it is not hard to justify buying expensive jewelry or other things for Josh. Similarly, we routinely travel together to nice romantic getaways, sometimes on very short notice.
I have now left the large firm I worked for and started my own financial advisory and consulting practice, serving several former clients. Josh in turn has made me a director of the design firm. Since I do not even pretend to have any creative contribution to make, I do not interfere in any design activity. I did help implement some improvements on the finance and accounting side, which improved profitability. I also got Josh to agree to set up an ESOP (employee stock ownership plan), which allows everyone who works in the firm to share ownership in the firm. Josh was all for it as he realized that keeping his talented people happy, motivated and with incentive was a great way to retain the best talent. Because Josh made the employees aware that the ESOP was my concept, and my staying out of the creative process, I am now popular with his colleagues and treated like part of the "family".
Speaking of family, Jenny goes out fairly often but hasn't settled in with one guy, in particular. We still see her and her roommate Ashley all the time. We have traveled several times to visit Josh's mother and dad. They have visited together once and Josh's mother has visited several times without Josh's father. Josh's father will probably never be completely comfortable with Josh's orientation, but he does seem to like me, despite this. Josh and his father have always had a somewhat distant formal relationship and that continues today. At least they do have a relationship and there is mutual respect, unlike many gay people and their parents.
It is actually pretty fun when his mother visits because she misses the arts and restaurants of the big city compared to Santa Fe, so Jenny and Josh usually have a lot of shopping, performances and fine dining planned when she visits. She is extremely affectionate to me and is often the life of the party. From the outset Josh's mother has enthusiastically embraced the notion that he was fundamentally gay. She also embraced the migration of Josh's appearance to a stylish, somewhat androgynous look and understands that it is a huge part of my attraction to Josh. When she visits she always brings some unusual things she has found in Santa Fe in the way of earrings, necklaces, bracelets and clothes. It probably makes his mother feel valuable to Josh by helping his "look" and it also gives them something to do together, as they both share an extraordinary sense of fashion. My view is that her influence on Josh is only positive!
Part Seventeen: Josh's Fashion Transformation
Notably, the first time his mother visited without his father, I went and played golf with my friend Tim during the day while Josh, Jenny and their mother went shopping together. When I returned late afternoon, Josh and his mother were in Josh's dressing/bath area with the door closed, but there was a lot of dialogue I could not hear well. When I returned home they simultaneously exclaimed, "don't come in!" Without pressing the issue, I retreated to my own space and took a shower and got dressed for the evening. Plans were for everyone (including Jenny and Ashley) to go to casual dinner and a small local theater production afterwards. Finally, I heard the door open and his mother emerged, saying with a sly grin, "I'm sorry we took so long. I was passing along some pointers." She then went to the guest room to get dressed herself.
While I was relaxing in the living room, I heard Josh's say softly, "Hello Bobby" from the hallway, almost like the first time I stayed at his place for the weekend. I was equally stunned this time by Josh's appearance. He was wearing a casual, but rich- looking new outfit that consisted of tight, low-cut designer blue jeans with flared bottoms. There was beautiful embroidery and beading below the knees and at the bottom of both pant legs. A thin, rhinestone-laden belt accented the jeans and he had shiny gold link chains above each ankle and leather sandals.
Josh was wearing a pullover collarless shirt (or more accurately a blouse) that stopped at his midriff and had cuff-less sleeves that stopped several inches above his wrists. The material was had an orange-red hue with elaborate, multi-color, geometric needlepoint designs. The top snuggly outlined his lean profile while leaving his extremely thin and taut waistline exposed. As I have said previously, from the midriff down most girls would kill to have Josh's lean waist and angular legs. Basically, he is a hot piece of ass!
I noticed that there was a shimmer from his midsection and I realized that Josh had gotten his belly pierced with a small hoop that had a rhinestone stud, which accented the shiny rhinestone belt immediately below. He was also wearing the diamond-necklace and tennis bracelet I had bought him. However, as I looked closer he now had two earrings on each ear. In the new, higher holes he was wearing the diamond studs I had given him in New York, while the lower holes had prominent one-inch diameter shiny gold hoop earrings. It was an incredible contrast to see Josh with stylish, yet casual clothes, yet adorned with dressy jewelry.
Finally, even from across the room it was clear that Josh's hair was different. Up to this point, he had grown it much longer, and he had it styled every few weeks. Over time, the stylist had changed the front of his hair from simply being parted in the middle and combed down or back to now having long bangs, with the hair behind the bangs parted down the middle and flowing out. It usually hung down in a thick, beautiful, layer-cut that tapered front-to-back to full-length just below his shoulders. Today, I could see that his thick hair, which was usually quite straight, had been "teased out" and was now filled with a mixture of random gentle waves and long curls that cascaded around his face and bounced off his shoulders.
His hair looked sensational, but as I walked closer, something else was different, but I couldn't put my finger on it. As I walked in front of Josh, we reached our hands towards each other and held them together. I then saw Josh's face up close and realized that his eyes were subtly accented by a very thin strip of eye liner, pale eye shadow and mascara which made his already long lashes stand out further. Finally, his eyebrows had been shaped into much thinner, aquiline shapes. Josh's eyes are one his best features, but now they jumped off his face, particularly as he sheepishly stood there smiling at me. Then, as I looked down at his smile, I then noticed that he had a subtle layer of light lip- gloss that matched with his eye shadow and blouse.
Josh then said, "part of this look is my idea, but a lot of this is mother's. I was going to get my hair styled today and made more curly but instead mom bought some hot rollers and a curling iron and she showed me how to style my hair differently myself. The makeup was also her idea...she said that the male fashion models she had worked with always wore subtle makeup to make their features stand out. She convinced me to try it and taught me how to do the application. If it is too much, I'll remove it. However, I hope you like it because it makes me feel sexy to doll-up for you."
I was totally enchanted by his look and I wrapped my arms around Josh and whispered, "You look extraordinary!" I could then smell the scent of hair spray and new sweet- scented cologne as we hugged. Life with Josh had been anything but boring anyway, but his whole look turned me on so much that I began kissing him aggressively. "Stop, or your mess up my lip gloss!" Josh exclaimed with a smirk. I responded, "I'll mess up more than that, if you don't come with me!" I then pulled him into his bedroom where we had a "quickie" before it was time to leave for dinner. Between kissing my lips and orally servicing me, all of Josh's lip-gloss had rubbed off onto me! Fortunately, we were able to "reassemble" Josh with a little bit more lip-gloss!
Although it had had been a quickie by our standards, by the time we emerged together from the bedroom, Jenny and Ashley had arrived and were visiting with Josh's mom in the living room. As Josh's mother turned and said, "There you are. What took you so long?" Jenny and Ashley started snickering to each other. I initially thought they might be mocking Josh's appearance. However, Jenny said in her witty manner, "behold my beautiful brother and his Prince Charming", and both she and Ashley got up to greet us, still looking at each other and snickering. As she greeted me with a hug, she whispered, "You guys are busted!" They were not laughing at Josh but, between our afterglow complexions and breathless states, they had figured out what had kept them waiting! "Guilty", I replied. If Josh's mother figured this out, she didn't say!
Jenny and Ashley went out of their way to compliment Josh on his hair and tell him that he looked good. Jenny examined closely his diamond jewelry ensemble, and looking at me said jokingly, "It must be nice to have somebody to deck you out in diamonds. Bobby if you're having any second thoughts about Josh, I'm still available!" I leaned over and kissed Jenny on the cheek, and said, "I am sorry, but I am spoken for." I then turned around and took Josh into my arms and gave him a big "Hollywood kiss" right in front of everybody. This was the first time Josh and I had shown such physical affection in front of family. Jenny then moved closer and put her arms around both of us in a warm hug.
Because his jeans had no back pockets, Josh had a very small Armani shoulder bag, made of dark blue suede, to carry his wallet, keys and other items. To a stranger, in his current state, Josh could have been momentarily mistaken for a woman, carrying a purse. There is no doubt that if Josh wanted to completely cross-dress that he could pull off being completely passable without much effort. However, despite his very eccentric appearance, this night he just looked like an extraordinarily stylish man with delicate features...something like a "glam" rock & roll star!
On this particular evening Josh's appearance was quite flamboyant, which might have be unwise if we were to run into professional contacts. However, we were only with family and also not going anywhere where we would be likely to run into anyone. Before leaving, I pulled Josh's mother aside and just said, "I definitely approve," which put a big smile on her face. The group had a great evening, and Josh and I comfortably held hands, kissed and showed affection openly. While out and about, heads turned occasionally to look at us, but I think it was more do to Josh's sexy outfit and inherent great looks than the "novelty" of seeing two guys out together. Although Josh saves his more extreme dress for private occasions, our open affection has become the case more and more, as we were proud of our relationship and are happy for the world to know!
Part Eighteen: The Stylish Couple
From that point forward Josh has continued to be extremely fashion conscious and he still loves to try new things out. Ironically for all the changes in Josh, my style has not really changed. I am a little bit more attentive to wearing nicer clothes more often, but they are still conservative and masculine like I have always worn. By traveling less on business since leaving the bank, and living with Josh, my eating and exercise habits have improved and I have lost about ten pounds and probably look more "dapper" than before. Besides the huge benefit of Josh's natural metabolism, he does exercise regularly, and his waist is tight as a snare drum!
On his own, he does aerobics classes and does workouts with low-weight barbells several times a week, which has only enhanced his taut lean physique, while leaving nice muscle tone in his arms and legs. Even though he was quite thin when we met, Josh's health regimen has reduced his weight even further to around 125 pounds. At 5' 9", this lean and narrow profile makes it easy for him to wear snug-fitting, unusual clothes or clothes designed for women.
Other than being a little baggy in the seat, women's pants fit usually fit him, and he has an assortment of python pants, capri pants and leather combos purchased at boutiques for women. He seems to buy a lot of casual tops at Anthroplogie, among other places.
Josh has also become quite adept at finding unusual clothes from online retailers and local boutiques catering to fashion-conscious gays, as well as being a regular at the Armani and Versace stores in town. If you ever wondered who bought the flashy clothes at these stores or in magazine ads, it's Josh! He works so hard to look good for me and I never get tired of his exploring new looks. It actually makes my heart melt when I see how creative he is in trying to look good for me!
Josh's hair flows in layers several inches below his shoulders and he keeps it trimmed at that length. At this length, he can either wear a relatively conservative ponytail that can also be tucked back underneath with a rubber band to make it seem shorter. When not constrained, he brushes it out straight in a layered look, or uses the hot curlers and curling iron to create unusual styles. He is always trying new variations using hair clips, ribbons, scrunchies or headbands. Sometimes he achieves a great look by just using the curling iron to flip the bottom of his hair up. When we were in the Caribbean recently on a vacation, Josh spent several hours having his hair braided with beads like Bo Derek in "10". The variety never stops and it is fun for both of us!
Similarly, thanks to his mother's guidance, he is now quite adept at applying makeup to his eyes and lips, usually so that the average person might not notice it from a distance, but so that his features really stand out. I have gotten used to his highlighted features and I am disappointed when he can't at least wear a little mascara and eye shadow. While there is constant variety in Josh's appearance, he does not plan to grow his hair longer or get more piercings, so I guess you could say he has reached his point of "fashion equilibrium". Most notably, Josh already looked young for his age before he became thinner, grew out his hair and wore makeup, but now when adorned in a certain ways he can look like he is in his early 20's.
The only real downside to all this extra additional effort is that Josh sometimes can take a fairly long time to get ready to go out! He now has a fairly elaborate collection of makeup and hair adornments that he keeps stocked near a lighted vanity area. When we goes out, I am sure that most people assume Josh is gay by his appearance, but we now both relish the attention, particularly when I am along side him and people can see that we are a couple.
Josh saves his most elaborate hairstyles, makeup and jewelry adornments for those occasions where he is dressing up only for me, or events (such as at gay clubs or when we travel) where his appearance wouldn't be a distraction. Other times, he continues to have a stylish look, but it is much more restrained, and can still be made to be somewhat conservative, if necessary.
Conclusion: Popping the Question
The most elaborate and sexy look Josh ever achieved, I was the only one to see it as he "surprised" me after I arrived home from a three-day trip. As I arrived home, Josh greeted me wearing skimpy black leather shorts and a tissue-thin glittery-red midriff short-sleeve top. He had the belly rhinestone stud in, which were a great contrast to his tan, silky-smooth skin. He was adorned with various stone necklaces, bracelets and dangling earrings. He also had much more makeup on than usual, with more eye shadow, much brighter lipstick and some blush on his cheeks. Finally, his hair was heavily teased and pulled together from the sides at the top of his head and tied in a hair- knot, which caused his hair to fall randomly to either side as he moved.
It was an exotic look that he created just to be seductively sexy for me when I arrived home. We then play-acted seducing each other as if we strangers and had sex as passionate as our first time. As we then slow-danced to some soft jazz, Josh whispered in my ear, "I want you to fuck me...right now." In addition to keeping the romance exciting, Josh really knows which of my buttons to push in bed and that night we stayed up half the night in the throes of passion. When your lover works this hard to be sexy for you it is hard to wish for more!
In fact, I don't wish for more and I have totally surrendered to the notion that Josh is the love of my life. In fact, I think I am the luckiest person in the world to be the one Josh loves. Our lives have merged together in a wonderful way with friends (old and new), work and play!
So does all this mean I am gay after all? Well, it sure means that I am least bisexual, I guess. I definitely have a much greater admiration for the male "plumbing" for example. However, I still don't find myself attracted to typical masculine men at all, and instinctively still turn to look at a sexy girl. I don't think of myself in gay, bi or straight terms anymore. I just know that I am madly in love with Josh!
I have asked Josh to have a quiet dinner out later this week at one of our favorite restaurants after he returns from a business trip. On that night, he will get another Tiffany's surprise from me, in the form of a gold ring with a large diamond setting. I am going to ask him to wear this ring with the same love, commitment and permanence that goes along with a traditional wedding ring. I am so excited to do this, because I know Josh will truly understand my commitment, and also because I am thrilled with the idea of growing old with Josh. For all the excitement we have had together, I truly believe the best is yet to come!
Any feedback? Email me: bobby718500@yahoo.com Good luck with your own romance!