I didn't answer my phone for the rest of that weekend. I just wanted nothing to do with Philo. I found myself masturbating a lot. It was sort of a blur until the next week of school started.
"Hey faggot!"
I whirled toward the noise, but it wasn't directed at me.
Philo stared defiantly at Neal, who leered right back. "So Philo," he said, loud enough so that everyone could hear. "Rumor has it you suck cock."
"I'm a virgin," Philo said quietly.
"Wanna change that?" Neal asked, grabbing his crotch.
Philo just walked away. Neal smirked at the crowd and there was scattered laughter.
It was a while till I saw Philo again. I couldn't look at him. I stopped showering after football because it ends at the same time as swim. It was easy to sneak off since my locker was in a lonely corner anyway. I just couldn't handle him seeing me naked. Or being naked. Why are gay guys even allowed in the men's locker room? Isn't the entire idea of a locker room to prevent cocksuckers from encountering cocks?
I can't believe Philo thought it was okay to be naked around a bunch of naked guys! No self-respecting girl would do that.
Maybe Philo just doesn't have self-respect.
I saw flashes of him sucking his finger, moaning, digging into his own ass, begging to serve me.
Perhaps maybe is an understatement.
I just didn't want to think about it anymore.
After school, I did some errands despite smelling like sweat. When I got home, I tossed off my shoes and collapsed into a dining room chair. After a while I decided to figure out what Aaron was laughing about. I walked inside and immediately froze.
Philo was sitting on the couch next to Aaron, smiling like everything was normal.
"Aaron, go to your room," I said slowly.
"Viren," he whined, "you can't boss me around."
"Shut the fuck up! Go to your fucking room, now!" I screamed. I glared at him until he scampered away.
I turned on Philo. "What are you doing with my thirteen year-old brother?"
"Nothing," Philo said softly. "I just needed to talk. He is one of the only people that doesn't hate me right now."
"You are not allowed to be alone with my brother, is that clear?"
Philo looked defiant as he brought his gaze to my eyes for the first time in days.
"Viren, you don't have the power to issue commands."
I laughed. "I have the power to tell you to do whatever I want, faggot. I saw you begging to be my slave! Well here is your first order. Stay the fuck away from Aaron!"
Philo stood up, shaking. "I don't want to hear you use that word in front of me."
"Which word?" I asked. "What, faggot?"
He flinched slightly.
I glared at him. "But you are a faggot! You are a fucking coward faggot that has lied to me for years. I don't want to look at your cocksucking face for another second."
Philo was crying now, but he still wouldn't avert his gaze from my eyes.
"I love you, Viren. Can't you see that?"
I glared at him. "All I see is a lying, perverted pile of shit. I'm going to make this very clear...Get the fuck out of my life."
Silent tears rolled down his face as he bit his lip. He spun slowly and left.
I snarled, let my pulse beat, then took a few steps and slammed on Aaron's door. Silence. I entered and frowned. Aaron was facedown on his bed, motionless.
He cleared his throat. "I don't like what you said back there."
"What the fuck? Why is no one on my side?" I yelled.
"It's because you are unreasonable," Aaron said softly.
"You understand that he is gay, right?" I whispered. "What if he did something with you?"
Aaron sighed. "Honestly, I don't think I would mind much, Viren. I've been trying to tell you for a while actually. Viren, I think that I—I—"
I shook my head. "Just stop. I can't handle this right now! If you are trying to come out of the closet, please turn around, take a few steps, and just...stay in there forever."
"Is that what you wanted from Philo? Him to hide his love forever?" Aaron asked after a moment. "Or were you mad because he hid it too long?"
I shook my head and walked away, slamming my door behind me when I reached it.
Sleep. That's what I needed.
I stripped and stared in the mirror. Soft brown eyes stared back. I ran my hands down the rough outlines of my jock face, scribbles of hair matching the curve of my chin. My broad, smooth, tanned neck and shoulders. My thick, layered biceps and pecs. The soft line that coiled down the center of my muscled chest. Patchwork abs. The flexing curve of my ass.
My huge hard cock. I had measured it before. It was 9 inches long. I swear it got longer though that one time I fucked the whore up her little ass. I only wish it was wider. Then bitches' holes would feel tighter.
My thick hairy legs. My clean, white feet. I took care to wash them carefully. I loved the feeling of water running through them, the scent of them fresh and wet.
I sighed and hopped into bed.
It didn't seem like it lasted very long, but it could have been hours. The doorbell sang and I groaned.
It was Maria.
"What?" I asked, groggy.
"Your friend Philo—what did you do to him?" It was hard to understand her through her thick accent.
"Nothing," I said, rubbing my eyes. "I just told him to stop seducing children."
Maria sighed. "Well, what you did—whatever it was--it messed up him. He is walking around slowly, his eyes glazed over. He barely speaks. People are gathering around his mansion because he is giving away all of his things. He just doesn't seem to care anymore."
"What do you expect me to do about it?" I asked.
"I am worried!" Maria said. "I think you should go help him. You need to be his friend, in his time of needs."
"The only reason I would go," I said, my voice gravelly, "is because I need a new TV."
Maria took a step backwards. "You are—shitty? I think that is the word. You are a shitty friend. You have issues. I do not understand how you can abandon your friend. Do you—not care for him?"
I smirked. "What is it, insult Viren day? He isn't my friend. I never even knew the guy."
Maria frowned. "If you don't come with me, I will tell Gina to stop seeing you."
"Oh no," I said, rolling my eyes.
Maria shivered. "You need to set aside your problems with your humanity being missing. It is not a good time for you to be wallowing in your...shittiness. Please, Viren. I know you are better than what I am seeing right now."
"Just go," I said.
She pouted, then her lips quivered. "On the beaches, there are a lot of shells. Some of them have crabs in them; some of them have snails; some of them have something else. But the most beautiful shells wash upon the sand—and they have nothing left inside them anymore. They are just wisps of death.
"That is you, Viren. A very pretty shell, full of nothing. When did your heart die?"
"When Philo strangled it with lies," I said. Then I slammed the door.
It wasn't until Thursday that I saw Philo again.
Football ended, at 5, and my date with Gina was at 6. There just wasn't time to go home. I felt a weight drop in me when I realized I would have to shower at school. I figured it would be okay. I would just be fast. In—out—not enough time for anything too uncomfortable.
Philo's eyes flashed when he saw my naked body. He tried to look into my eyes but his face fell when he saw my expression. The soapy water ran down his defined biceps, his soft round pecs, his little abs, his gentle legs. An image flashed in my mind from Saturday of Philo plunging into his own cum, covering his own body in the white, bubbly liquid; the shower rained down, mixing suds that streamed along his flexing flesh; and I felt a white-hot curdling mixture inside me of nausea and anger pulsing.
I have this problem where I get erections when I am angry. Especially when I am angry at Philo.
I began to wash myself fiercely, my callous hands digging red into my flesh. I didn't even bother with soap; I didn't want to think about it; I didn't want to spend the time. I just wanted to rinse it all away.
Philo looked into my eyes for a single moment, a shade of defiance and bitterness flickering before he turned around. He faced the wall, and let the water run down his back in a thick stream, collecting on the hump of his ass, trickling through the valley between his supple, protruding cheeks. He reached his soapy hands around and began to rub his ass in slow circles, kneading it softly, flashing his little red hole.
Faggot!
I was clean enough. I stormed out of the shower, bumping Neal into the wall as I left. I tried to ignore his catcalls to Philo as I rounded the corner and smothered myself with a towel.
Everything was a blur for the next half hour.
All I remember was that the food was overpriced and Gina never shut up.
"So Maria and I were talking and she said that she thought that you weren't good enough for me. She said there is no way we could work out."
"Huh," I said, staring at the table centerpiece. It was a shiny, beaded duck. Weird.
"Well what do you think?" Gina asked. "Do you think we will work out in the end? Can you see us living together forever and starting a big happy family?"
"Hell no," I said softly, running my hand over the green beads. I looked up. "I mean, Gina—"
"Viren!" She said, frowning. "How could you say that? Do you want to be with me, or not?"
I looked at her sinking face. Her cheeks were cleanly triangular, her hair had a perfect look I had only seen on plastic dolls, and her eyes were emptier than a shell on a beach.
"Not," I said. "I am sorry Gina. I just don't think we are meant to be."
The rest of the night happened exactly as anyone would expect. Other than having a difficult time getting the image of Philo's disgraceful body out of my head, nothing sexual or otherwise notable happened. Unless you count how fucking pissed off I was about everything. Why was I so angry?
On Friday, when football ended, I thought about going home, but found myself wandering back into the locker room. The awkwardness between me and Philo needed to end.
I missed him. And I was starting to think this wasn't entirely his fault. Maybe.
Perhaps maybe is an understatement.
Something weird happened when I got to my locker. I heard muffled voices coming from the janitor's closet. I put my ear close.
"Relax, Philo, no one can here us; only Viren's locker is close enough and he doesn't even use it anymore."
"Neal," Philo said slowly. "I'm just not ready to do anything. I still love--"
Neal snarled. "I don't want to hear anymore about Viren. He hates you! He wishes you were dead so he could have your new TV. He doesn't give a shit about you, Philo! Now stop giving excuses and suck my cock."
"No, Neal," Philo whispered. "I don't want to."
"I'm hot. Now be a good faggot and suck."
I felt my anger pulse again. I clicked the door open and caught Neal forcing himself onto Philo, drinking Philo's big red lips into his mouth. I glared at him, and he looked at me, startled.
"Faggot!" he screamed, throwing Philo into the wall. Philo hit his head, then staggered to the floor. Neal sprinted away.
I crouched and cradled Philo's head in my arms. "Philo," I whispered. "Oh, Philo."
"I must be dreaming," Philo muttered.
I smiled in spite of myself. "Why do you say that?"
"That's the only time you talk to me anymore," Philo whispered. His eyes were fluttering. "I'm so sorry Viren. I didn't mean to lie to you. I see now you were right to call me a coward. I wasn't even brave enough to kill myself once I realized how worthless I had become."
"Don't talk like that," I said. "You were plenty brave, Philo. Brave enough to stand up against me."
"But I don't want to stand up against you, Viren. I want to let you have your way. If you hate me, then I should hate myself. I don't want to fight you Viren. You've already won. You always win."
"Viren I—"
"If I were brave," he whispered, "I would tell you I loved you every day."
He was smiling now. He looked delirious.
"If I were brave," he said again, "I would have wielded my dreams instead of letting them wield me."
He passed out.
I put one hand under his legs and the other under his back and I carried him out of there. I ignored the hooting of other guys as I walked through the locker room and to my car. I positioned him into the seat and drove him away.
I carried him inside, ignoring Aaron as he stared at Philo's nearly naked, speedo-covered body.
I lay him down in my bed and covered him with sheets.
"I'm not supposed to be here," Philo muttered. "I'm not allowed in this house. I'm a bad influence. Viren thinks--I'm a bad person."
"Then Viren is an idiot," I muttered.
"You are Viren," he said slowly, his voice growing quieter, his eyes drooping.
"Don't sleep," I said.
"Why not?" Philo asked.
"You might not wake up," I whispered.
"That wouldn't even matter," Philo said.
I stripped. Then, I crawled in next to him and hugged him. "It would matter to me, Philo! God! What was I fucking thinking?"
He softened as I touched him, moaning slightly. "This is a good dream," he said softly.
"Why are you so sure it's a dream?" I asked.
"I sleep at the foot of the bed. Because I am only worthy to grovel at your feet." My cock pulsed and I held Philo tight. He melted into my arms, relaxing his body completely. I felt his ass push into me. My cock dug between his muscular cheeks, which squeezed hard. I paused, but I couldn't bring myself to move. Instead I put my hand on his heart.
Was I being cruel?
Maybe.
We dozed off like that, my cock trapped between the valleys of his ass, just a thin layer of fabric separating Philo from the hot stud of his dreams.
Authors Note: People have been requesting this become a no-sex story. I was sort of planning on including long erotic sex scenes, but I might change my mind. If you have a preference, or any general comment, throw me a line at krazytop@gmail.com. Thanks!