Hi there, I am 39 and married but have a gay fantasy that I need to get off my chest but for obvious reasons it's not something I can talk to my wife or friends about. I hope this can be a place where I can express these desires and you are all understanding. Perhaps I can get some constructive feedback and hopefully some correspondence from men who feel the same or want to explore these ideas and the feelings they ignite.
Over the past few years I have had a recurring dream and it's one of those dreams that when I awake I ache physically, emotionally and mentally. I find myself wishing I could slip back into that dream world where forbidden, illicit sexual awakenings await me. I always feel palpably crestfallen when I accept that the chances of my dream coming true in my waking reality are slim to non existent. The knowledge it was all just a dream, a dream which might or might not visit my dream scape again gives me tangible pangs of regret.
In my dream I am alone sleeping in my house and I awake hearing some movement downstairs. I put on my robe and go down stairs.
As I go into my living room the door swings shut behind me and there is a strange man standing silently there. My heart flips.
He is like no man I have ever seen before, he is wearing nothing but a pair of shiny leather riding boots and a masquerade mask with a belt around his lithe bare waist (slung arrogantly low on his hips) from which hangs a riding crop. Unlike all the men I know he is neither muscular or fat, hairy or big boned. His body is shapely and sensual in a boyish (almost feminine way) but he is unmistakably a man emanating a raw sexual power and an air of total confidence. His skin is smooth and alabaster, shimmering sensually in the moonlight which spills through the window. I can see goose bumps and light freckles on his thighs and arms and a shock of bushy black pubic hair under his belly button. There is a mole which looks like a beauty spot on the pale skin of his left inner thigh and his uncut penis sways with the weight of his engorged arousal, bounces and dangles towards the beauty spot on his inner thigh. I'm stunned, breathless and captivated by his body and erection and cannot tear my eyes away. I'm wracked with conflicting emotions; fear, shock, fascination and a deep tingling in the depths of my tummy like a million butterflies are about to burst out of my belly button. My mind is full of questions. Who is he? What does he want? What is going to happen to me? Why does he have a riding crop hanging from his belt? And most of all why is he naked?
I can see the veins in his manhood throbbing, they are visibly dark under the flawless pale epidermis of his shaft. His foreskin tapers becoming a pouting pink rose of sensual flesh which glistens with a light moisture. The tip of his swaying penis seems to point right at me and bounces rhythmically as he moves.
He closes the space between us quickly and silently like a phantom.
I find myself looking into his grey eyes as he stares out from behind his mask, I feel his breath on my lips as he grabs the sash around my waist and throws it to the ground before pulling my robe open exposing my vulnerable body to the cool air.
I try in vain to cover my nudity with my hands but he slaps my hands effortlessly away as if they were flies and suddenly I feel his hands all over me. Slithering on my sensitive body, silky sensations envelope me as his fingers and palms explore my bare thighs and dip into my belly button making me gasp. His smooth sensuous arms encompass me, pulling my nude wriggling body to his.
His fleshy bare thighs surround me as his arms keep me enfolded and his hands slither across my back and gingerly caress my exposed posterior.
His penis slides next to mine.
Succulent throbbing warmth making my stomach damp and crushing my penis as he rocks his body causing his meaty erection to thrust lustfully against my shamefully aroused penis. It can only have been seconds since he first touched me but it seems like an eon. I gasp and whimper as the reality of my helpless acquiescence to his unspoken carnal demands dawns on me.
He puts his finger on my lips and speaks for the first time. Says in a husky -slightly camp and unmistakably gay- voice
"I've been watching you Luke"
I realise I'm more erect for him than I have ever been for anyone else. My penis is so hard it hurts but that pain feels so right, so good, I welcome it.
I whimper.
"who who are you?"
He takes my hand and guides it to his belt and I feel the riding crop hanging down his outer thigh. He says hypnotically
"think of me only as The Visitor Luke" "your visitor" "I am a teacher, a lover and a person you will learn to fear as much as you desire"
He is burning a hole in the centre of my consciousness and I begin to shake uncontrollably as his pale alabaster nudity slides against my vulnerable naked body. I feel as if I am slipping into a trance. A trance I may not be able to awaken from.
Suddenly I cry out
"please stop"
He says
"think carefully before you answer" "Why are you begging me to stop"
I whisper in a shaky voice
"because I'm not gay" "you have made your point and I don't think I can take much more" "you are breaking me"
He takes my hand off his riding crop and guides it to his manhood and I hold his most intimate place, (feeling it's warmth, it's weight, it's power) then he says.
"gay or not I want you to bare your soul to me, you cannot hide the truth from me and you don't have to" "what we are sharing now is our thing, no one in the universe knows"
As he talks he, gingerly thrusts his hips pumping my hand with his penis and adds
"now tell me how you really feel deep in your soul Luke"
I caress his dangling sensually engorged erection, look up into his eyes and feel like it truly is just me and him alone, naked floating through the empty universe. It gives me the feeling of the deepest most intimate connection to him. I whisper.
"I feel like I truly belong for the first time in my life"
"I feel your body against mine and I feel owned, useless, helpless but wanted"
"I want nothing more than to please you, obey you, worship you"
He theatrically raises his finger to my eyes then traces it down his body, across his stomach pausing to circle his belly button then slows his pace as he reaches his manhood. He suggestively traces his finger up and down the length of his manhood, finally he dips his finger in the pouting lips of his foreskin and as he pulls his finger away bringing a silky thread of clear liquid with it. He raises his finger to my mouth and traces it around my lips coating my lips in the liquid from his manhood.
He then plunges his finger into my mouth and says
"this is your destiny Luke"
I suck his finger as he leans in to my ear (his breath on my neck making me shiver) and whispers
"bow down before me Lukey"
I fall to my knees and cling to his bare thigh like a damsel in distress and kiss the beauty spot on his inner thigh as my erect penis touches his riding boot; then I kiss his pouting pink foreskin as his silky juice glistens on my lips and I say
"I give I give I give"
My body shivers and he stands victorious. Hands on hips, a booted foot on my crotch -crushing my aching penis- and the tip of his magnificently erotic penis touching the tip of my nose.
I cry out
"I love you"
And like a ghost he is gone.
I awake fully erect, wet and sticky still half in my dream world unable to fathom it was all just a dream. I can still feel him, see him, taste him and remember his musky nude scent.
End