This story is a complete work of fiction and is not meant to imply anything about the sexuality of Justin Timberlake or JC Chasez. Or for that matter anyone else.
I am SO sorry it's taken so long to get everything together and finally get this next chapter out. The next one is finished and will be put on shortly. I PROMISE!
:) Anyway, I hope you like. And as usual I wanna hear from you. Send all comments, questions, concerns... whatever to abuffy00@yahoo.com
Ok. I think that about does it. Enjoy.. and email me :)
Chapter Three
Chris banged heavily on Justin's door scaring the shit out of him.
"What the hell?" Justin asked himself out loud, scrambling to get to the door.
"Hey sexy." Chris said, leaning seductively against the doorframe.
"What the hell do you want?" Justin asked, his fear being replaced by anger and agitation.
"You babe." Chris said as he pushed past him into the bedroom.
"Too damn bad." Justin said, closing the door behind him and climbing back into bed.
"Get your lazy ass up. We's got things to do."
"Like?"
"It's our last day here and all of us are going to rent a boat to see the island."
"Ha! None of us know how to sail."
"We're renting a skipper too. Ya know, 'a three hour tour."
"You're a dumbass, you know that? I'm not going."
"Oh yes, you and Mr. J.C. are both going. Lance is in his room right now getting his ass out of bed while Joey gets the boat ready. It's gonna be sweet. You have twenty minutes to get ready or we'll all drag your ass out of bed." With that he turned and walked out of the room leaving Justin to groan in frustration. 'If I don't get up, they'll find away to get me out of here, ready or not. I have to go, but I'll have to see J.C.' he thought about it for a moment, finally getting up and moving to the shower. 'I'm such an asshole, how can I face him again?' He thought as he washed his hair.
J.C. stepped out of the shower and wrapped a towel around his waist. He walked back into his bedroom where Lance draped himself casually across his bed flipping through a magazine.
"We're leaving in ten minutes." Lance casually informed him, not bothering to look up at him. J.C. pulled on a pair of boxers and went back to the mirror to fix his hair. He thought about how weird it was going to be, seeing Justin and knowing what he knows. Justin walked out of his room, carrying his sunglasses. 'There's no other way around it,' he thought. 'I have to tell him.' He walked down the hallway to the elevator where Chris was waiting with J.C. and Lance.
"Move 'em out." Chris said, motioning them to the open elevator door. "We have a big day ahead, fellas."
"You are a dumbass." Justin said, restating his previous opinion. He casted a sidelong glance at J.C. who avoided looking at him completely.
The hotel was close to the water so they walked out to the dock, looking for Joey and the boat. They found him, laughing with a girl they had seen earlier in the hotel. He looked up and waved, motioning them over to where the two stood.
"Hey y'all. This is Laurie." Joey said, motioning them all to shake her hand.
"Hi." She replied. She scanned the group, her eyes lingering on Justin. 'Great, just what I need right now.' He thought. J.C. stood awkwardly to the side with his hands in his pockets, watching Justin's every move. 'Did he say something to the others?' he thought worriedly. Joey walked over to J.C. and patted him on the back.
"How's it going buddy?" 'He wouldn't do that.' He reassured himself.
"Great. I love Hawaii."
"Really? I'm surprised considering you haven't left the hotel room in three days." J.C. smiled sheepishly and stepped into the boat, thankful for Laurie's instructions. Lance and Chris joked around while Laurie assigned jobs and insisted that everyone put on life jackets.
"Granted they're not a fashion statement," She said when the guys protested, "but I'm not going to be responsible for the death of any pop band member who refuses to be safe. See how that works? I'll be beaten to death with N'Sync memorabilia by twelve year old girls everywhere I go. It just doesn't sound appealing."
Justin sat at the back of the boat lost deep in thought. 'When should I tell him? We have to be alone and it has to be the right moment but how can I say that to him? ' he asked himself. 'Easy, he said it to you.'
J.C. was well aware of how friendly he acted with the other guys. He felt Justin watching him and he could guess what he was thinking. 'I bet he's thinking I'm a pervert and every time I touch one of the guys he thinks I'm a bad person.'
Joey noticed the distance between the two friends and figured being locked up in the hotel together had caused a small squabble. Normally they were inseparable. Probably Justin just acting like a little kid again.' He thought. 'They'll get over it.'
The group stayed out on the boat for close to six hours, sailing around the island and goofing off, picking up a few boating tips along the way. It was close to five when they returned to the hotel slightly sunburned and ready to eat. By then the rest of the guys had noticed the distance between J.C. and Justin and they were a little worried. They decided that the five of them would go out to dinner and then go to a club, considering it was their last night on the Island. The next day they would fly back to New York for a photo shoot and then a press interview. After that they would make their way home for a few days and then head out to LA.
They agreed to meet in the lobby at six, giving them all plenty of time to get ready. Justin really didn't want to go, he wanted to talk to J.C. alone but he felt bad for ignoring the other guys. 'I've waited for eight years to tell him, I can wait a little longer.' He figured. He jumped in the shower and leaned back against the wall, thinking about what had happened the last couple of days. He thought about what it would be like to be with J.C. His hands roamed around his body, down his chest, over his stomach, then back up through his wet hair. 'I can't think of him like that, not right now.' He thought.
J.C. didn't want to go but he didn't want to sit in his room alone, he felt like being around the other guys, as awkward as it was. He slowly got ready, thinking about Justin and how distant he seemed on the boat. 'I should have known.' He thought. 'I can't expect him to accept me right away, knowing that everything about me has changed. But it hasn't!' he thought. 'So what? I like guys, that shouldn't make me a bad person.'
Chris, Lance and Joey talked quietly in the hallway. "What's up with them?' Lance asked, leaning against the wall.
"I have no Idea. I think they got in a fight over something, you know how Justin can be sometimes." Joey said
"True." Chris agreed, shaking his head.
"Did you ever think maybe it was J.C.'s fault? It's not fair to assume it was all Justin. Give the guy a break." Lance said defiantly.
"Whoa, over protective much? Come on, when have you ever known J.C. to pick a fight? Honestly." Joey asked looking quizzically at Lance, then Chris. Justin joined the group a moment later, smiling.
"Sup you guys? Ready to eat? I'm starving."
"Yeah, waiting on J.C. that boy's normally not this slow."
"Give him a minute." Justin said, surprising the rest of them.
"What's up with you two anyway?" Chris blurted out, unaware that the other two had decided to say nothing about their strange actions.
"What do you mean? We're cool."
"Sure, did you guys get in a fight?"
"No, why would you say that?"
"Because y'all are acting weird, that's why."
"Can you back that up, or are you talking out of your ass?" Justin asked slightly angry that the other three had noticed the distance between them.
"Touch-y aren't ya? It's just y'all didn't sit together as normal and you didn't say much either."
"You read way too much into things man," Justin said shrugging it off like it was no big thing. "I was thinking about stuff and I zoned out. Trust me, we're cool."
"Who's cool?" J.C. asked, coming up behind Justin.
"You and Justin here." Joey said, ending the conversation.
"Why wouldn't we be?" J.C. was suspicious. Hardly ever did the group talk about him without him present and he didn't know what Justin had said to them while he was getting ready. He casted a glance at Justin, who just looked away. 'Shit.' He thought, wanting to run back to his room. Instead he pushed the button for the elevator and smiled at the four guys.
On the way to the restaurant, everything seemed normal, Chris went on about how he hated sailing while Joey argued with him on how much fun he had. Lance talked on his cell phone with his mom who called as they were leaving the hotel and Justin sat next to J.C. but starred out the window lost in thought. 'I hope he doesn't think I said anything to the other guys.' He thought worried about his friend and what he was thinking. J.C. took the fact that Justin was sitting next to him as a sign that Justin was dealing with him being gay. He relaxed a little and let his mind wander.
The five of them ate together and discussed their plans for the following day. They agreed to meet in the lobby at ten o'clock, allowing them plenty of time to get to the airport. Then they all headed over to the club were they split up, giving them one more night to hang out before they had to go back to work.
Justin and J.C. danced most of the night with local girls while Lance talked to a few at the bar. Joey and Chris got a table and continued their sailing conversation, pausing for drinks and a few dances. The night passed quickly and before they knew it, it was time for them to go back to the hotel. The group had to split up, Chris, Joey and Lance in one cab and Justin and J.C. in another. When they were halfway to the hotel, Justin whispered, "I have to talk to you."
J.C. nodded his head, a feeling of apprehension creeping over him. They arrived at the hotel first and went up to J.C.'s room. "What is it man?" he asked when the door was closed.
'Here it comes, Justin thought, swallowing hard. "Ah, I just wanted you to know that I'm ok with you being gay and that..." he paused, chickening out, "I didn't tell the guys if that's what you're thinking." He finished. 'Wimp ass.' He called himself.
"Is that it?" J.C. asked, perplexed as to why Justin would need to talk to him in private when he could have called and said that over the phone.
"Yeah, that's it."
"Ok..."
"I'm gonna go now," Justin said backing away form the door, wishing J.C. would persist, praying he wouldn't. 'You're gonna say too much, but you have to say something.' he thought.
"Good night." He said backing out of the room. 'You are a fucking retard, you know that?' he asked himself as he threw his clothes back in his suitcase. 'You had the perfect opportunity and you didn't take it. What was that about? Now he thinks you're a dumbass, which is true.'
J.C. lay in his bed, slightly disturbed by Justin's strange behavior. 'That was weird.' He thought. 'Why would he take so long in saying something so simple and then run out of the room before I could say anything to him about it? Maybe he's not ok with it and he doesn't want me to know that he's not so he left before I could call him on it. Or maybe he was just tired and wanted to get to bed, after all, it's two o'clock in the morning and it takes him forever to pack so maybe he just wanted to get some sleep.' Justin stopped packing, took off his clothes and climbed into bed. 'I'll think about it tomorrow. I can't do anything else tonight."
The next morning Justin headed to the elevator, lugging his suitcase behind him. Lance met him at the door with a relatively small travel bag. "Man, how do you fit all your stuff in that little tiny bag?"
"I pack light, unlike you. I don't carry everything I own with me every time I leave the house."
"Ok, so I like to be prepared."
"Uh huh."
Down stairs the two met up with the rest of the group and headed off to the airport. After checking in, they made there way to the gate, disguised in baseball caps and sunglasses, walking separately to avoid the attention. Once they arrived at the gate, they quietly argued who would sit with whom. "I don't want to sit next to Chris. He snores. " Lance argued, pointedly looking at Chris with a smirk on his face.
"Thanks man, I love you too." Chris said, folding his arms across his chest in a pouting motion.
"I'd like to sit with Joey, he's always quiet." Lance stated, flashing Chris a grin.
"Fine then, if nobody else minds, I'll sit by myself." He said sliding farther down in his chair.
"I guess that leaves you with me." J.C. said stating the obvious, looking at Justin.
"Fine by me." He said with one of his grins.
Once they were all seated on the plane, Chris settled down to sleep, Lance and Joey discussed the plans for the next few weeks and Justin and J.C. sat in uncomfortable silence. When the plane had departed from the airport, J.C. opened his mouth. "Look, I appreciate what you did last night. Thank you."
"What do you mean? Justin asked turning away from the window where he was watching Hawaii disappear.
"You know, coming to tell me that you're ok with it and everything." J.C. reminded in a hush tone.
"No problem, I just wanted you to know that I'll still be here no matter what." Justin cautiously reached out to pat J.C.'s hand. J.C. caught his breath as Justin touched him. Never before had it mattered so much to him. Justin's hand lingered on J.C.'s for a brief moment while he debated on telling him right there on the plane. Glancing at his friend he decided against it and placed his hand back in his lap. 'Chicken shit.' He thought.
The rest of the plane ride J.C. read a book while Justin tried to sleep. About three hours into the flight he noticed that Justin had started to moan and toss about in his seat. Softly J.C. reached over and lightly touched his friend on the shoulder. "Hey Jus, wake up." He whispered. Lightly he shook his arm and Justin stirred awake, slightly confused as to where he was. After a few seconds he got his barring and relaxed.
"You ok man? " J.C. asked, his face highlighted with worry.
"Yeah." Justin replied, running his hand through his curly hair. He couldn't remember what he dreamed about but it wasn't pleasant. He sat back and starred out the window. 'You need to tell him. You're driving yourself nuts.' Their lunch arrived and the two guys ate in remote silence. Afterwards, Justin tried to go back to sleep. Close to eight in the evening they arrived in New York. The guys were all a little groggy, seeing as how they all fell asleep. Hurriedly they gathered their things and put their hats back on, knowing they'd have to make a run for it once they were off the plane. Getting spotted in New York was not a good thing, considering how many teenage girls there were in the city. They five of them walked quickly, split up in groups of two and three so they could avoid being spotted as much as possible. Once they were outside, the hotel limo was waiting for them. All five piled in and congratulated each other on not being spotted. In the limo, Lance filled the rest of them in on the room situation.
"Ok Guys, here's the deal, we only have three rooms and there are five of us; do the math. We're gonna have to double up. I think it would be easiest of Chris takes the single room seeing as how he's the worst to live with. Sorry man" Lance stated, looking at his friend who seemed hurt for a moment. Then the realization that he would be alone wouldn't be so bad. He leaned back in his seat and grinned.
"Joey, you and I should stick together and Justin and J.C. should stay together, seeing as how they're joined at the hip already."
"Great." Justin said, smiling at Lance, thinking that this just might be the opportunity he needed to tell J.C. that he was gay.
"It's settled then. We're only gonna be here for a coupe of days so let's make the best of it."
After they were in their rooms Justin sat back on his bed watching J.C. unpack.
"Why bother man? You just gotta pack it all back up in a couple of days. Living out of a suitcase seems more practical."
"Not the way you do it." J.C. smirked. He looked at the clock and realized that he was starving. "How about some room service?" He asked looking at the eighteen-year-old who smiled in response and reached into the drawer on the nightstand.
"Shall we have hamburgers or steak?" Justin asked with a sly grin, opening the menu and looking it once over.
"I'm in the mood for steak myself," J.C. replied, flopping down on his bed, pulling the phone over to where he sat.
"Ok, then," Justin said, closing the menu. "Steak it is."
The two of them ate and watched a little TV, then they decided to go to bed, seeing as how they had to be at the photo shoot at 9:00 am. Once he was sure J.C. was a sleep Justin let his mind wander. He thought about how close he was to his friend and how he could here his deep breathing. He closed his eyes and imagined being in the bed beside him, running his hand over his stomach and across his chest. Justin slid his left hand down into his boxers and massaged his growing hard on. He let out a small sigh, and quickly remembered how close J.C. was and how embarrassing it would be if he got caught. That thought aroused him even more so he decided that rather than stopping he'd just be quiet. After fifteen minutes of occupying his mind with thoughts of J.C. Justin came, shooting it high on his chest. He let out a sigh and relaxed, giving himself a moment to catch his breath before he got up to clean himself off.
J.C. was slightly awakened by Justin's hard breathing. He looked over at his friend who lay there motionless. 'He's fine, he's not tossing.' J.C. told himself as he rolled over and went back to sleep.
Justin heard his friend toss around in his bed and decided to sneak into the bathroom before he was fully awake. Once inside he washed his stomach and chest off and crawled back into bed.
The next morning, all five of the members of N'Sync met downstairs in the lobby and rushed out to the limo, wearing their hats and sunglasses. They arrived at the studio close to nine and piled out into the lobby where they were met by Janice, the coordinator for the shoot. "Ok, guys." She said after they had all exchanged pleasantries. "We have a lot of work to do and not a lot of time to do it in, so you'll be heading up to make up and then wardrobe. We have to start shooting at ten thirty so let's go."
"She's pushy. " Lance whispered into Justin's ear.
"Yeah, I like her." Joey said with a crooked grin.
The five of them went through the morning in a blur, not really aware of what was going on around them. They took close to a hundred pictures before one o'clock when they were aloud to break for lunch.
"That's hard work, looking pretty." Chris said, flopping down into a chair next to Justin.
"Tell me about it. I'm tired." J.C. answered whiping sweat off his forehead with a towel. "Great, now I'll have to go back into make up." He muttered.
"No you won't." Janice said from behind him. "Good news guys. Kevin, the photographer, said he's got all the pictures he needs to do the spread so you can go." The five of them gathered their belongings and went down stairs to the limo.
"Now what?" Justin asked, sighing.
"Nap time." Lance answered.
"I agree." J.C. said, resting his head on the window. They rode back to the hotel in silence, each one slightly dozing. They arrived at the hotel close to two, and they all headed up to their rooms to catch a nap. Then the plan was for them to meet for dinner at six.
Justin barely made it onto the bed before he fell asleep. J.C. sat down on his bed an listened to Justin's deep breathing as he watched the rise and fall of his chest.
"He's so damn cute, even when he's sleeping." J.C. thought leaning back on his bed and closing his eyes. "I've underestimated him. I had no idea he was gonna take this so well. It's still weird but maybe things can go back to the way they were."
Three hours later Justin rolled over and looked at the alarm clock. 'It's only four thirty. If I wake him up now we can talk before we go eat with the other guys.' He considered that for a moment and decided against it, realizing that their conversation would have to last longer than the hour and a half provided. 'Later.'
He didn't realize he was staring at J.C. lost in thought until he spoke.
"Hey Justin, you ok? You look like something's wrong."
"Nah, I'm fine. I guess I just kinda blanked out." 'He sounds so sexy when he wakes up.' Justin thought, looking his friend over with extreme sexual curiosity.
"It's four thirty." J.C. said breaking Justin's train of thought. "We should get ready to go eat. You know how Chris gets when he's deprived of food for longer than ten minutes.'
"Yeah, you're right, do you want the shower first?"
"Sure, if you don't mind. I'm not really in the mood to rush, but I promise not to use all the hot water." J.C. lay in bed for a few more minutes, then he got up and stumbled over to the bathroom. Switching on the inside light, he stepped in, leaving Justin in the dark.
Justin closed his eyes again and thought about J.C. He wistfully thought about how it would be if J.C. returned his feelings and how good it would feel to wake up with someone next to him. Lost in thought he didn't hear the door open until J.C. appeared in the doorway with only a towel wrapped around his waist. He stared so intently that J.C. had to clear his throat three times before Justin looked up.
"Is there a problem?" he asked, slightly amused by Justin's embarrassed expression and his reddening face.
"No, not at all." 'I'm just a dumbass. He'll know for certain now.' Justin thought, carefully avoiding J.C. 's gaze. He climbed out of bed and walked over to his suitcase, pulled out a pair of boxers and walked into the steamy bathroom. J.C. smiled, shook his head and began to dry off.
Justin undressed and turned the water on, thinking of how J.C. was in the same place only a few minutes earlier. He thought about how hot and steamy it was in the small confined place and how hot the water was that ran down his chest. He thought about J.C. being naked in the same place and he realized that he was extremely excited. He quickly turned the water to cold, telling himself that it would take a long time to entertain those thoughts and fix his problem and he gave himself a rain check.
J.C. was completely dressed when Justin came out, much to his disappointment. He sat on the bed flipping through the movie guide. "Anything interesting playing?" Justin asked, pulling on his jeans.
"Nothing we haven't seen, and that's sad." He said tossing the book aside and moved to the sink to fix his hair.
All five of them met outside the elevator looking refreshed from their afternoon nap. Chris was bouncing off the walls as usual and even Lance seemed a little hyper. They all went down stairs and jogged over to the limo before teenage girls could attack them. Once inside they discussed where they planned to eat and what club they wanted to go to.
"Let's go Italian tonight." Lance suggested.
"Sounds fine to me." Chris agreed, leaning back into his seat.
"You'll eat anything, how about Chinese?" Joey asked, for once showing his opinion.
"That sounds good to me. I'm up for chopsticks." Chris agreed making little movements with his hands mimicking the small wooden sticks.
"You're a dumbass." Justin said, reverting back to his usual phrase.
"Well, whatever, I don't care y'all. Chinese sounds good too." Lance said shifting his opinion.
"You sure man?" J.C. asked.
"Yeah."
"Cool, then Chinese it is." Justin stated, smiling over at J.C. J.C. returned the grin and looked away to face the window lost in thought. When they got to the Chinese restaurant the only table available was a large both in the back. Joey, Lance, Chris, Justin and J.C. all slid around the table. It was a tight fit, but the guys didn't seem to mind. They ordered their food and signed a few autographs. Then they sat back and talked while they waited for their food.
"I love chopsticks. They should ban silverware and we should eat with these all the time." Chris said, stuffing his face with noodles.
"What's the point? You eat with your hand most the time anyway." Justin said, laughing at his own comment. Chris elbowed him in the ribs making him drop his napkin on the floor.
Justin slid down under the table, very aware of how close J.C. was to him. He grabbed his napkin and put his hand on J.C.'s knee to get back up. J.C. was extremely turned on at the fact that Justin was only inches away form him under the table. When Justin put a hand on his leg to get back up, his whole body tensed.
Justin could feel the movement and knew right away that that action had affected J.C. in some way. He wondered if he liked it. That thought brought a thousand more racing through his head.
"What's the plan for tonight?" Justin asked once he was back in his seat.
"What do we always do?" Joey questioned back.
"Point. Maybe we should try something new for a change. How about a movie?" Lance suggested.
"Let me think? Movie vs. club. Hmm..." Chris teased.
"Smart ass." Lance said, elbowing Chris in the side.
"Hey! That hurt."
"Wimp."
"Ok you two," J.C. said in a mocking parental tone. "Am I gonna have to separate y'all?"
"No daddy." Lance and Chris answered.
"That's what I thought." J.C. leaned back and smiled. He thought about having children and realized that the possibility was very slim, considering that he was gay. He frowned. Justin caught his sudden mood swing and decided that it was time for them to leave.
"Let's go. I wanna go shopping."
"Yeah, like you need more clothes." Lance said.
"Please, you can never have too many shoes." Justin replied with a slight lisp, flicking his hand at the wrist to the other guys.
"You do that well." Joey stated, causing everyone to laugh. The five left the restaurant and headed down the street. They stopped a few stores, each one purchasing something small for themselves or family members. By the time they were done, it was close to ten o'clock. They headed back to the limo, surprised that they had very few fans come up to them.
"It's a slow night, what can ya do?" Joey asked with a smile on his face. He wasn't thrilled about all the autographs but he liked the attention.
"Clubbing!" Chris yelled.
"Damn boy, calm down." Justin said with a laugh. Chris was ready for anything. He always had energy, even when he was sick.
They went inside a club that was rather dark. None of the guys seemed to mind because that meant they were less likely to be spotted. Lance, J.C. and Joey sat at a table right off of the dance floor and watched as Chris and Justin danced with several girls. J.C. was getting restless. It had been a while since he had actually danced. He got up form his seat and headed out on the dance floor.
Justin watched J.C. get up. He wasn't surprised when he started to dance, hesitant at first. Then he started to get into the beat. Justin continued to watch while he danced, aware of how hot J.C. was getting. Justin slowly made his way to where J.C. was. He continued dancing and before they knew it, they were doing the same moves. They danced rather close and both were becoming extremely excited. When one song ended, the next began and they continued to dance until they were touching. J.C. moved behind Justin and he put his arms around him pressing his pelvis against Justin's ass, so they moved back and forth, both facing the same direction. Justin could feel J.C.'s warm body brush up against his and J.C.'s growing erection through his jeans. Justin was getting rather excited himself, causing small gasps to rise out of his mouth. J.C. pressed Justin against him a little more, causing the two of them to grow more aroused. J.C. looked up and saw that not many people were watching, except for a few girls and Lance, who kept staring at him with a strange expression on his face. J.C. finally broke from his trance and realized what was happening. He decided it was time for him to take a break. If he continued to dance with Justin like that, he would have a serious problem. They had danced together before but Justin knew that he was gay. 'Why would he come over here and act like that?' J.C. thought, puzzled at his friend's actions.
Justin wished they two had been alone at the time. He thought about telling him later that night. 'He's got to know.' Justin told himself, talking a drink of water. The rest of the night, J.C. watched his dancing whenever Justin came near him. He didn't want to get too close for fear of scaring Justin or not being able to stop at just dancing. They left the club at two thirty, heading out to the limo. They arrived at the hotel fifteen minutes later and all of them headed up to bed. Justin undressed and crawled into bed, forcing himself to think of something other than J.C. He decided against telling him at that time because it might freak him out. He closed his eyes and went to sleep.
J.C. was tired but his mind ran in circles, going form the time Justin touched his knee to the time they were dancing together at the club. He was turned on so he slipped into the bathroom to fix his problem. Twenty minutes later he came out, more exhausted than before but satisfied. He slipped into bed and listened to Justin's deep breathing. He wanted to crawl into bed next to him, press him up against him like he was before. He thought about the warmth from Justin's body. 'If only he liked me like that.' He thought before he drifted off to sleep.
The next morning, close to eleven, all the guys received wake up calls. They had to be at the studio close to two, so that left them a couple of hours to get ready. J.C. rolled out of bed first, and made it to the shower to avoid eye contact. He was embarrassed about last night and he didn't want to look at Justin.
Justin watched through barely open eyes as J.C. stumbled into the shower. 'This is it,' he thought. 'When he comes out of the shower I'm gonna tell him.' He lay there for close to twenty minutes, waiting impatiently for J.C. to come out.
J.C. emerged, aware that Justin was watching the door to the bathroom. This morning thought, he decided to be a little more modest and he took boxers in with him, much to Justin's dismay.
"I gotta tell you something." Justin blurted out.
"Sure." J.C. replied, hesitant about what Justin had to say.
"I'm... I'm g-going to take a shower." He finished lamely.
"Ok." J.C. responded, wondering why he felt the need to state the obvious. Justin shot out of bed and scrambled to the bathroom, barely grabbing a pair of boxers form his suitcase. 'You're an idiot.' He told the mirror.
'Shit.' J.C. thought. 'I freaked him out last night and now we're back at square one. When will I get it through my head that he's straight and we'll never be like that.'
Justin sat in the shower for a few additional moments, wishing the water could wash away his feeling of regret. ' I just wish I could tell him.' He sighed and turned the water off. Quickly drying off and slipping his boxers he stepped out to meet J.C. sitting on the bed, still half dressed. He sat still, lost in thought and unaware that Justin had walked out of the bathroom. He stood in the doorway, realizing that he was quietly crying. "What's wrong, Chief?"
J.C. looked startled at the figure looming over him, he looked up and then away so Justin couldn't see his tears. 'Great. Now he thinks that I'm a wuss too. How can I tell him I have problems with it, if he can accept it?' "Nothing."
Justin wanted to press him for details but decided to ignore it for now, seeing as how he didn't want to talk. He moved around the room, consciously aware of J.C. but pretending that he wasn't there. They got ready in silence. They met the guys outside the elevators, both slightly standoffish about the earlier incident.
On their way to the interview, no one really said much. They were all thinking about the questions that continuously popped up, questions that concerned their love life, fans, tour dates, and everything else under the sun. They pulled up outside the MTV studio, aware of the hundreds of fans that surrounded the limo. Temporary bodyguards ushered them inside, barely allowing them to catch their breath. Carson Daily met them inside the dressing room, giving them each a handshake. The group had often worked with Carson and they were relieved to see a familiar smiling face. 'He's kinda cute.' Justin thought as he watched Carson talk into the mirror behind him. He was explaining the audience participation in this particular interview and the already edited questions that were distributed on the floor so none of them would be caught by surprise.
They waited around for their cue after they had all been through hair and make up. Each was lost in their own thought. Once out on the floor, they began to visibly relax. Joey smiled more, Lance laughed, and J.C. talked in depth about their upcoming album.
When the interview was over they hung out for a while signing autographs for their fans and chatting with Carson. He invited them to a party later that night and they all agreed to go.
Back down stairs in the limo, they sat in comfortable silence. Returning to the hotel, they all agreed to take showers, after having those lights basting on them, making them sweat underneath the make up. Justin slowly trailed behind J.C. as he entered the bedroom. "Hey, I want to talk to you." He blurted out when the door was closed. "About last night." He added.
'Shit, here we go.' J.C. thought settling down on his bed, not sure what he was about to hear. He figured it had something to do with how Justin wasn't interested or was uncomfortable.
"About last night," Justin began, sitting down himself, to muster more courage. "It was no accident."
J.C. sat there, praying he would continue, not letting his heart jump to conclusions about the next few sentences that follow.
"You know we've known each other for a long time and you know that I... well, that I admire you. " Justin paused, unsure how all of this was coming out at this moment. He cleared his throat and looked away, unable to continue, forcing himself to play with the comforter.
"Is that all?" J.C. asked after a few minutes, wishing he would continue. Justin finally looked up, tears in his eyes.
"Well, recently that feeling has changed into something...more." J.C. sat there awed at the fact that the one he loved could be feeling the same way.
"When you told me about your-er...sexual preference, it came as a shock because it was something I wanted to hear for a long time." He looked away, unsure if he needed to continue, feeling he had too.
"I'm the same way. I've had these feelings for you I couldn't explain when I was younger and I chalked it up to curiosity, but girls never had the same affect on me. I was never really able to care about one as much as I cared about you. I..I love you." Justin started sobbing, aware that he had just put his heart on the line, knowing that the response could kill him.
J.C. sat there in stupefied silence. He had no idea that Justin felt that way about him. The man he loved just poured his heat out to him, describing the way he felt as if it was a self delivered speech. He had his own tears welling up in his eyes when he reached over to gently rub Justin's back. After a few seconds Justin turned into him, hugging him back, unwilling to let go. They sat there for a long time, comforting each other as they delt with their own fears and taking in each other's closeness. When Justin's sobs slowly subsided and he drifted off into a deep, exhausted sleep, J.C. slipped into the bathroom, taking a long shower. He smiled to himself, washing away his pain in the warm water. When he was finished he slipped on a pair of boxers and jeans. He walked over to the bed and looked in on his sleeping friend. Justin stirred awake, and looked soulfully into J.C.'s eyes. "I'm sorry. I didn't think about what I was going to say and it came out and I wasn't ready to handle it." He blabbered, trying to stop the tears from falling again.
J.C. reached out and laid a hand on his shoulder. "It's okay, Jus. I love you too."
They looked at each other, knowing that within a few hours, everything had changed.