This story is purely fiction, any actual events or truth found within this story are purely coincidental. It contains homosexual contact between consenting people. This story is not intended to imply anything about the true sexuality of Nash Grier, Cameron Dallas and the other celebrities mentioned herein.
Nash's Secret
Chapter 3
Cameron kept calling Nash all night only to get his voicemail. He left several messages like:
Nash, its Cam. I'm sorry for not saying anything after what you
told me last night. I was in shock. I never knew you felt that way
about me. Please call me back so we can talk. And:
Nash, it's me again. Please call me back. Let's talk, I'm worried
about you. With every phone call, Cameron was hoping that Nash would pick up only to once again get his voicemail. With each passing minute, Cameron became more worried about his best friend and brother.
Cameron was worried about what Nash would do. He felt terrible for his reaction, but he didn't know what to say or do after Nash told him that he was in love with him. He was standing there in a towel so he wanted to get dressed and think about what to say so that he didn't make things worse. He now knows that he made the wrong choice in saying nothing and it was eating up inside.
Cameron was up all night. Every time he tried to lay down he saw the hurt in Nash's eyes and it caused him pain to see that. Never before has he ever felt more panicked, more worried about another person in his life. It was true, he cared for Nash more than anyone else outside of his mom and sister, but he couldn't love him the same way, could he? All this heartache and pain he was feeling was because he and Nash were as close as brothers' right? These thoughts and more were continuously running Cameron's mind when he saw light begin to brighten the room. It was morning and he hadn't slept.
Nash woke up to his alarm going off. He couldn't believe what he had done last night. He had ruined his life and his friendship with his best friend all in one statement. Why had he come out to Cameron? Why had he told him that he loved him? These questions were once again running through Nash's mind as he ran over the events of last night.
Nash grabbed his phone off the table next to his bed and turned off the alarm. He saw that Cameron had called him over twenty times last night and had left several voicemails. He also saw that his younger brother Hayes had called again and left a voicemail. He decided to listen to Hayes' message before calling him back to see what he knew. This is what he heard:
Hey Nash, it's Hayes. I don't know what you and Cameron were
fighting about, but he's really worried about you. You need to call
me and let me know that you're alright. We can deal with the fight
later. Call me once you get this message.
Nash began to tear up. He didn't know what to think. It was obvious from Hayes' message that Cameron had not told him about what happened last night. Maybe he was wrong in thinking the worst about Cameron. Maybe his secret was safe with him. Nash quickly made the choice to call Hayes and let him know that he was ok.
"Hello?" answered Hayes once again being woken up by the phone.
"Hey Bro, it's me. Just wanted to call you and let you know I'm ok. I went and got another room for the night." Nash replied.
"So what happened to make you run off like that? When Cam called he was in such a panic. He sounded like he was about to cry. I've never heard him like that."
"I think it was all just a misunderstanding that got out of hand quickly."
"Well, I'm sure he would like to hear from you too."
"Maybe, I don't know. He might need some time to calm down as well."
"Ok Bro, I leave it up to you, just make things right as we will need both of
you working together for these meet and greets later today." Hayes told his brother.
"I'll see what I can do." Nash replied. "But for now, I need to take a piss. I'll call you later. Oh, and I'm in room 433."
"Cool, talk to you later Nash."
After talking to his brother, Nash wasn't sure what to think about Cameron. Was Cam really that upset that he had left the room without saying anything to him? But wait, Cameron is the one that went into the bathroom without saying anything to him. Nash was so confused.
After using the bathroom, Nash decided to listen to Cam's voicemails. He selected the first one to play and then listened:
Nash, where are you? Please come back so we can talk. Then he scrolled down a couple and played another:
Please pick up! I need you to call me back. Please Nash, we can
talk about this, just please call me. And another:
Nash I'm so worried right now. I don't know what to do or what
to tell you other than I'm sorry. Just please call me! Nash was beginning to hear the panic in Cameron's. He began to wonder if Cameron would be accepting of his being gay. He scrolled down to the last voicemail and played it:
Nash, please, please call me. I'm so sorry for not saying anything.
I just wanted to get dressed before I talked to you about this
situation. I love you Nash, maybe not in the same way as you
love me, but I love you nonetheless.
Nash could tell that during that last phone call, Cameron was in tears, which in turn brought him to tears. He decided right then and there that he needed to go to him and face him, whether the consequences of last night be good or bad, he needed to speak to him.
Cameron was sitting at the desk with his head in his hands. He was barely able to function, partly due to lack of sleep, but mostly out of concern for Nash. While sitting there, he began to wonder just why the thought of losing Nash had him so worried and unable to sleep. What did all this mean?
He was deep in thought over the whole situation when he heard a knock on the door. He figured it was Hayes coming to find out what this so called fight with Nash was about. He got up from the desk and began to head for the door and then his phone began to ring on the desk. He decided to run back to his phone thinking it was Nash, but when he got to it he saw on the screen that Hayes was calling him. He stopped dead in his tracks. If Hayes was calling him, who was at the door? Could it be? His heart skipped a beat as he ran to the door and flung it open.
"Hey Ca..." Nash began to say.
"Oh my God, Nash." Cameron yelled as he grabbed his young friend and pulled him into a tight hug. "Where'd you go? Why'd you run off like that?"
"Look Cam, can we go inside and talk?" asked Nash.
As soon as he said that Cameron released him from the hug, put his arm around him and guided him back into the hotel room. Nash cold see the relief in Cameron's face when he saw that it was him at the door. This made him feel better about the whole situation. It eased the worry he was feeling about the conversation that was about to take place.
Nash walked over to what was his bed and sat on the edge of it. He was not yet capable of looking directly into the eyes of Cameron. Even though he was feeling better about the conversation he was about to have, he was still a little scared of Cameron's reaction. Would Cam really be accepting of him knowing the true feelings he had for him?
Cameron sat on the edge of his bed facing Nash. He couldn't take his eyes of his friend. He was so excited to have his friend in front of him. He thought he'd lost him after last night. The relief he was feeling was unlike anything he'd ever felt before. He couldn't put into words exactly how he felt, all he knows is that it's the strongest feelings he's ever experience up to this point. The silence was too much for him so he started the conversation.
"Nash, can I just say how sorry I am about last night. I just received quite a shock and I realized I was standing there in a towel. I didn't know what to say or do right at that moment, I just knew I needed to get dressed before I said anything else. I'm sorry if that made you think or feel that I was mad at you for telling me about you being gay and in love with me, because nothing could be further from the truth." Cameron told Nash.
Cameron reached his hand over to Nash's down looking face and with a put his hand under his chin and razed his face so that they were looking at each other. When he could see Nash's eyes, he could see the tears streaming out of them. Seeing that made tears come to his eyes.
"I can tell from the look in your eyes that you thought I was mad at you or worse, that I hated you." stated Cameron. "Like I told you last night before everything happened, you're like a brother to me and I love you as just that, my brother. Nothing is going to change that!"
"So you're ok that I'm gay?" Nash asked.
"Of course Bro, I could never be mad or hate you over something like that."
"What about me loving you?"
"I will tell you this Nash. Though I don't love you in that way, I love you too, and nothing will change that. I will be honest and say that when you first told me that you were in love me with me, I was totally shocked. I never knew you felt like that, I mean I knew we had a little bromance going on, but I didn't think it was so serious. I can see now just how serious it is. I do want to say that I am flattered and honored that you have chosen to place the feelings of your heart upon me."
"But you can't love me back?" Nash asked looking right into Cameron's eyes.
"No. I'm sorry." Cameron replied, seeing the hurt in Nash's eyes.
"I knew you loving me back was a dream that probably wouldn't come true anyways. I'm just glad that we can still be friends. I was so worried that if you ever found out, that you'd hate me and that our friendship would be over. "
"I don't know why you would ever think that Nash. After everything we've been through and everything I've told you, you think I'd just throw it all away over you being gay?"
"I thought that if you, my family or anyone ever found out that I was gay, my life, friendships and career would be over."
"Nash, now I understand why you reacted the way you did. You must have been living life in complete fear of being found out. This is going to sound a little stupid, but when did you know you were gay?" Cameron asked.
"Well, I started thinking I might be different when I was about 12 and then I knew I was gay at 15, after dating a couple of girls and not being able to truly develop feelings for them." Nash replied.
"So from then until now, you've never told anyone about you being gay?"
"Not a soul, until last night."
"Not even your family?"
"Only you."
"Wow Bro. I just wish you told me yourself on your own terms, not due to the argument that occurred last night." Cameron said as he got up, sat down next to Nash and gave him a hug.
"Yeah, I didn't want to tell you, but I couldn't hold it back anymore. To be honest, if last night wouldn't have become an argument, I would've probably never told you."
"Nash, I can't begin to imagine the pain, hurt and fear you must have been living with all these years. You have got to be one of the strongest people I know for being able to endure that for so long." complimented Cameron.
"Having you know and still wanting to be my best friend and brother, takes away so much of the stress. I wish I could just tell everyone and be the real Nash. But my family would react badly, I know this for a fact. When my cousin told the family he was gay, a bunch of them disowned him, including my parents. And I don't know what the fans would do or think." stated Nash.
"Nash, I think our fans would be fine with you being gay. In fact you'd end up with more fans most likely. Look at Tyler, Connor or Troye. They are all gay and have huge fan followings. As far as your family goes, I'm not sure what to say. What about Hayes?"
"I'm not sure about Hayes, he was a lot younger when our cousin came out. He probably didn't even know about it. What do you think the other guys will say or think about it?"
"Well, I can't say exactly. I would like to think that they would all be accepting as they are your friends, but none of us has ever discussed this."
"Do you think I should tell them?" Nash asked.
"I can't answer that Nash. You have to do what you feel is right. What does your gut tell you?"
"I don't want to have to hide around them, but at the same time, what if they react badly? And I can't tell Hayes as he'd definitely tell our parents."
"Well, we can keep the secret from Hayes. As for the others, if they turn on you, well let's just say that they'll lose both of us and you and I both know that without us, they wouldn't be half as popular." Cameron stated.
"Maybe we can just kind of bring it up and see what everyone says before I tell them."
"That sounds like a good idea. So is everything alright again Nash? Anything else you'd like to tell me, some more hidden secrets?"
"I've got two children in the UK." Nash said laughing.
Hearing that made Cameron laugh as well. Cameron stood up and pulled Nash up into a hug. This wasn't just your normal hug between friends. It was a hug that showed his understanding and acceptance. Not a word was said between them, everything that needed to be shared was being done by the warmth of the embrace.
Nash knew what this hug meant. It meant that Cameron accepted him for who he really was and that he is going to be there for him. However, with everything within him, he wanted it to be the hug of two people deeply in love with each other. He could feel the muscles in Cam's arms gripping him and the warmth of his body against his. He could smell the familiar scent of Cameron's shower gel and body spray. Knowing he would never be able to enjoy a hug like this as his boyfriend, he settled in to enjoying it as the friend and brother to the guy he loved.
Cameron ended the hug, but continued to hold Nash by the shoulders. He wanted to look him right in the eyes as he spoke.
"Nash, I want you to know that I will be there for you no matter happens. If the whole world turns against you, I will stand by your side. I know you said that if your family finds out they may react badly, so I want you to know that if that ever happens you'll always have a home with me and will be my brother."
Cameron no more than said that when his phone rang. He looked to see who it was and it was Jack G.
"Hey Bro, what's up?"
"Just calling to let you and Nash know we are getting ready to head down to get breakfast." Jack G said.
"Ok, we'll be down there shortly." Cameron replied.
"Who was that?" Nash asked.
"It was Jack, calling to let us know that everyone is heading down to eat breakfast."
"Great, I'm starving."
"Me too, it was a long night."
Cameron went to his suitcase and grabbed out some jeans and a t-shirt and got dressed. He then grabbed the key card to the room and his wallet and headed for the door with Nash following directly behind him. On the walk down to the restaurant, they formulated a plan on how to talk to the others about their thoughts on homosexuality.
Down in the hotel's restaurant, Cameron and Nash walked in to find Carter, Hayes, Jack G, Jack J, Matt and Shawn already sitting at a table. They filled in the last two seats and were greeted by everyone. They began to talk about their flights to Orlando and share stories when the waitress arrived to take their orders. They all ordered and then ate their breakfasts.
After eating, everyone was sitting there trying to figure out their schedules for the rest of the day. They all had meet and greets to do with their fans and Shawn has a concert that night. Nash looked at Cameron and gave him a little nod. He got a little nervous because he knew he was about to find out what his friends thought of being gay. Cameron reached down and grabbed Nash's hand and gave it a squeeze.
"Hey guys, I have a real situation I'd like to discuss with you all." Cameron started. "You are all my friends and in a way my coworkers and I need to know your opinion on this. I got a call yesterday from one of the organizers of this event and they asked me to facilitate a panel discussion centering on being a gay teen. They've also asked me if I might talk to some of you guys and see if you'd be willing to sit on the panel. So what do you guys think?"
Jack G. spoke first saying, "I don't have any issue with people being gay or whatever. It's none of my business who they want to be with. As far as doing the panel, if everyone else is in, I'm down to do it."
"I'm with Jack." said Carter. "I have a few gay friends that I like to hang with on a regular basis when I'm home. I think that now it's more widely accepted to be gay, at least within our generation. I'm definitely in to do the panel."
Jack J, Shawn and Matt also said that they were ok with it. That brings it down to just Hayes and Nash to answer. Nash was waiting to hear what his brother would say.
"I hate to be the odd man out here guys," stated Hayes, "but I don't think I can participate on a panel discussing homosexuality as I personally believe it's wrong."
This made Nash's heart sink. Of everyone, he wanted Hayes to be ok with it. Hayes is his little brother after all. He suddenly felt a hand in his and looked down to see Cameron's hand in his for support. Cameron knew how hurt this must make his friend. The others all looked at Hayes somewhat in shock.
"While I will agree that it's more widely accepted within our generation, I still feel that being gay is a bad choice people make. I don't hate them or anything like that. I just believe that it's wrong and I'm sorry if that makes me a bad person." Hayes continued.
"Well, along with Hayes, I was raised to think that being gay is a choice and it's a wrong choice. However, I was also raised to develop my own opinion on things and Hayes may not remember him, but we have a cousin who is gay. I got to know him a little before he came out to our family and they rejected him. As it stands, I'm one of the few people in the family that still talks to him and he is a really great guy. I personally feel that being gay isn't a choice, it's who you were born to be. I would actually enjoy being on a panel to discuss homosexuality." Nash said.
The conversation actually went on for a little while longer and then Hayes and Matt said they wanted to go film a collab. They said goodbye and headed up to Hayes' room. Once they were gone Nash asked everyone if they would meet him and Cam in their room in an hour, to which everyone agreed. He then excused himself saying he had some things he needed to do. Cameron of course excused himself as well to go with Nash.
Both Cameron and Nash left the table and headed up to the room Nash got last night. Once there they gathered his things and Cameron took them back to his room while Nash went to checkout of that room. He told the clerk at the front desk that he would be going back to his original room that he shared with Cameron. He then went up to that room as he needed to talk to Cam.
"Hey Cam, so I'm sure you've got an idea as to why I invited everyone up here, and you're right. I want to tell the others that I'm gay. I don't want to have to hide around them. Obviously I'm still going to have to hide around Hayes and I hope everyone can keep this secret. But after talking to you and then that conversation we had at breakfast, I feel confident that they will all be understanding and supportive. But I want to know what you think, because if you think I shouldn't do this I need to come up with a reason for having them all come up here." Nash said.
"Well Bro, I think that the decision is yours to make. I just want you to be sure about it as there is no going back. You know that I will support you no matter what. I do think that they will be both understanding and supportive as well. I can't say whether or not to do this Nash, you have to just go with your gut." Cameron responded.
Cameron and Nash sat around the room talking about random things and watching TV while waiting for the others to arrive. About twenty minutes after they got to the room, there was a knock on the door signaling that the others have begun to arrive. Once everyone was there, Cameron waked to the middle of the group and began talking to everyone.
"Hey guys, so I'm sure you're wondering why we asked you all to meet us up here in our room and we'll get to that soon enough. Before Nash says anything though, I want you all to know that I am behind 100% on this and that if any of you have an issue, this is where we will part ways. So Nash, you called the meeting, tell these boys what's on your mind."
"Well guys, let me start by saying thanks to Cameron, because without his support, things would be a lot harder right now and this meeting would not be taking place. That being said, I also want to thank all of you. I want to thank you for being my friends and my brothers." Nash started. "There is something I've been hiding from everyone. Not even Cam knew until late last night. I told him out of frustration and I'm telling you because I need to stop lying to both myself and you. I'm gay. I've known for several years now. I hid it from everyone because as you know my family isn't accepting, I was worried about you all hating and rejecting me and I am worried about what will happen to my career if I ever come out publicly."
The room was completely silent for a few minutes. Cameron walked up to Nash and put an arm around him. And then the others got up one by one and came up to Nash offering hugs and words of encouragement. Each one of them told him that they support him 100% and will stand by him no matter what happens. The acceptance of his friends brought a tear to Nash eye. He was happy and relieved to have this huge weight off his chest.
"Again, I want to thank you all from the bottom of my heart for accepting me and being here for me. You'll never know how much this moment means. I for the first time in a long time feel free. Free of the secret that I held for so long from those I love. I unfortunately must ask you all to now keep this secret though as you know how Hayes and my family feel about the issue of homosexuality. I will however tell Matt when the time is right." Nash said.
Everyone agreed to keep this from Hayes and Nash's family. They all said that they would help however they can when the time comes to tell him. It was asked if the whole conversation about the panel was real or not, to which Cameron told them it was fake and was a way for Nash to judge how they'd all react to him coming out to them. It was at this point when all the jokes and gags began. It wasn't all directed at Nash, but he took the brunt of it. It was all in good fun after all. In was an attempt to lighten the mood in the room and get things back to normal, which worked.
After about half an hour of fun, all the boys left to go and get ready for the day's events at the convention. It was going to be a long day for all of them culminating with Shawn's concert, which they were all looking forward to. They all agreed to meet in the green room at the convention center for lunch and to make a schedule for the rest of the day.
Thanks For Reading!
I will be continuing this story as time permits.
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