Newbie to posting on this site, but if you are underage or not interested in the above subject matter, click off now.
My one other ancient story is Billy's Punishment under the Urination section. Feedback appreciated.
This one was just written tonight. I have a lot of shit in my head (and sometimes in my stomach).
Hope you enjoy.
scatboi: weeslaveabz
manscat: weeslaveabz
gaydar: weebearabz:
MSN: The email address.
The rugby team had just finished their game.
22 of them, 15 having been sweating on the pitch.
So, back in the changing rooms, the Captain announced.
"Don't get into the showers just yet. Well, we lost the last game of the League. You know what that means."
Most of the players said "Hurrah"! Some of the old-timers looked a bit more reluctant, and the new batch that just started this season had no idea what was going on.
"It's time for the smelliest arse competition!!"
Another big cheer came. Hurrah!
But some of the newer boys did not know what that meant.
The Captain, called Jim, announced the rules.
"As most of you know, we have a tradition of running this competition when we lose. It's all just a bit of fun of course!"
The captain then added, "Apart from one person obviously."
Again, some of the newbies were confused.
The captain continued.
"For the new guys on the team, I'll explain. It's very straightforward. Each member of the team will be awarded points for how smelly their arse is. I'd imagine after running around that field, most of them will be pretty 'fragrant'. Also, An extra bonus is to see who has the smelliest farts, I bet some of them will be pretty eye-watering given the shit that they eat and the beer that they drink!"
"The winner of both categories will be given a prize. Some of you old hands will know what the prizes are, but let's keep it a secret from the new guys for a bit of suspense!"
Most of the guys were still cheering and ready to head to the pub to laugh about the competition, but a few were a bit wary, and the new guys still did not have a clue what was going on.
Captain went on.
"Well, it's pretty straightforward. Each of the team are judged like I just mentioned. The one downside of course, is that there has to be a judge. And I bet you can guess what his role is."
Now some of the newbies looked pale, and even some of the old timers groaned a bit.
Jeff, one of the team said "Well, I hope you leave me out of it. I did it last time and it was the most gross thing I've ever had to do!"
Captain Jim said, "Yes, I do remember you struggled a bit that time, I'll leave you out of the draw."
The Draw. What the fuck was that some of the newer members wondered? At least it was better than the 'Soggy Biscuit' game they had heard about (google if you are interested - ed).
"OK, lets get the straws. You know the rules, the one that draws the short straw is the judge!", said the captain.
Geoff went over to the side and collected the glass containing the straws and brought them back to Captain Jim.
"Ok you lot" as he pulled the straws out and arranged them, "take a straw".
"How come you don't have to take one?" questioned Len, one of the younger team members.
Captain replied, "Well, I have been playing this game for about 20 years, and this tradition goes way back. I won't have to say how many times I've been the judge, but it's time to pass that honour onto the new generation!"
So on they went. Each of the team members pulled a straw. By half the time the 11 of them (two exempt.) , a poor little newbie pulled the short one.
"Oh Fuck" said Darren." I can't do this!"
Now the whole team cheered, knowing that it wasn't going to be them!
"Don't worry, " said Jim. "You'll get through it, and be more of a man from the experience!"
"Right, the rules are straightforward. I'm going to put a rubber gag on you so you cannot inhale through your mouth. Each of the guys are going to line up, drop their shorts, and bend over for you. You stick your nose in, and take ten deep breaths in through your nose. Make sure they are deep, if I don't hear it, it doesn't count."
"Also, if they fart, you sniff it in immediately to make sure we don't have to smell it, farts can be bloody rank! By the way, farts don't count towards your ten, they are just an added bonus."
"To help you in your task, in case you don't know everybody's names (or at least can't match an arse to a face!) we will mark a number on each tem member's arse. All you have to do when you are finished is tell us who had the stinkiest arse, and whose farts made you grimace. Then we'll award prizes."
Darren said, "I guess there is no way out of this?!"
The team whooped and shouted. "Don't be a sissy, just get on with it!"
Darren resigned himself to his fate, while the rest of the team giggled like schoolboys playing a prank.
Captain Jim ordered, "Ok guys, line up in a row. You know the score by now.!"
They all did so, and the line of 11 men lined up as ordered with their arses towards Darren.
Jim took Darren to No. 1. "Kneel down."
He did so.
"Alright Bill, Down with the shorts and spread those cheeks" said Jim.
Bill slowly pulled his shorts down, bent forward slightly and pulled his cheeks apart.
Darren smelled the musky smell almost immediately. With the gag on, he couldn't say much about it. It didn't smell as bad as he'd imagined though, but then again, he was still about a foot away from the source, staring at the wrinkled hole.
"Right, in you go" said Jim, and with a gentle push, pushed Darren's nose right into the crack with the tip of his nose right on the hole. Bill let his cheeks go, and Darren's head was engulfed.
"Ok, start the sniffing!" said Captain Jim.
Darren plucked up the courage and took a big inhale. God it stank. Much worse than at a foot away. He struggled, but Jim kept his hand firmly on the back of his head.
"Keep going, I'm counting, and you've another ten men to get through yet!
Darren started sniffing again, and continued. The smell was still appalling, but he seemed to be getting used to it.
Luckily for Darren, after he finished his tenth sniff, no fart had been forthcoming. Jim pulled him out.
"Great!" You managed that no problem. I won't ask for marks out of ten just yet (Darren couldn't speak anyway with the gag on), so we'll move onto number two now then."
No two was a fairly hefty fullback. Large arse. Darren got positioned behind him and started again.
Unfortunately for Darren, by the time he'd take his fourth sniff of an equally sweaty arse, a great blast of gas burst from his hole. Darren did what he was told, but as soon as he did, he started coughing and spluttering from the sheer stink of that nasty fart. The captain kept his head pushed in, and gradually Darren just about recovered enough to start sniffing again. Luckily no more farts this time.
The action continued from there to number 8, before which Darren had to endure a whole stack of farts of varying degrees of nastiness, and he didn't think there was a truly clean arse about them all.
Dave, The prop forward (whose number on the field was 8 as well) was a great big bruiser of a guy. He towered over Darren in every way.
As soon as he dropped his shorts, Darren saw what a magnificently big and pert arse he had. Unfortunately, when he bent over and spread, the smell that came out was horrendous.
Jim pushed him in as before, but on the first sniff, it was worse than the most rank thing he had ever imagined. He pluched up the courage and took another sniff, but felt as if he was away to puke, and struggled so violently that even Jim couldn't hold him in.
He pulled himself away from Dave's arse and pulled his gag off.
"I can't do this anymore" exclaimed Darren. "Does this guy never wash?"
Dave laughed, and said "I had a feeling we were going to lose today so I made sure my arse hadn't seen a bar of soap in a week!"
The Captain said "Well, you've probably just had two wasted sniffs of the worst smelling arse in the team. You'll have to start again since you pulled out, the first two are now null and void. If you want to remain on this team, I suggest you get a grip of yourself and get on with it".
Darren looked resigned to it while Dave looked there grinning. Darren knelt back down, and Dave got back into position.
He shoved his nose back into the crack, and started sniffing again. It was all he could do to stop himself from retching, but then Dave cracked a massive fart, which made his eyes sting, it was so awful. "What the fuck has he been eating?" he wondered. Unfortunately for Darren, as well as the terrible stench of his crack, he also has to endure four more rotten farts before he was finished.
As soon as he was done, the Captain said "Ok Darren, I know that was a bad one, take a five minute break".
Even out of Dave's arse, his nose still stank, which meant that he couldn't escape the smell. Jim did not allow him to take his gag off, so he had to live with it.
After the breather, he had to start again with no. 9. He continued, fairly smelly arses, a few fragrant farts, but nothing like he has been subjected to by No. 8.
Finally it was over. Darren was so relieved.
"So I've passed?" inquired Darren.
Captain Jim said "Yes, you managed to do it all, congratulations!"
The whole team cheered, and Darren felt great, but a bit smelly.
"Good on you mate!" one shouted. "I remember having to do that, and you did better than me" said another.
Captain Jim piped up again. "As I said, Congratulations. But I'm afraid you're not quite finished. There is the small matter of the prize I mentioned at the start".
Darren looked confused. "What does the winner get, a round of drinks or something?"
"Well, first you have to announce the winners" said Jim.
Darren was fairly satisfied he had the answer. "No. 8, Dave I think it was."
Jim said "Correct!" And the smelliest fart?
Again Darren said "No. 8 again, fuck it was rank."
"Well, I'm guessing since you are new here you don't know what the winners get as a prize" said Jim.
The rest of the team started laughing uncontrollably.
"Well," said the Captain, "the winner of the smelliest arse gets to sit on your face for half an hour so you can really appreciate the trouble he has gone to to win that prize".
Darren felt ill. But not as he will become.
The Captain continued. "But this is the bad bit. The winner of the smelliest fart has to eat his shit until he's emptied his bowels completely."
"Nooooo!!!!" shouted Darren.
"Don't worry," said Jim. There is a bucket provided if you need to puke. And since you picked Dave as the winner, I think you will be needing it!"
The team laughed uproariously.
Dave was sitting there with an evil grin on his face. "Don't worry, I'll try and be gentle. NOT!!!"
"Oh Christ, this is going somewhere very bad" thought Darren. "The smell of his arse was bad, the farts were worse, how can I eat his shit?"
He didn't have to wait long. On went the gag again.
"Lie down, face up" commanded Captain Jim.
Darren did so.
Dave lumbered over to Darren, removed his shorts and squatted over his face.
Darren was looking (and smelling) that horrible arse he'd only been enduring about half an hour ago.
Dave's arse descended to his face, nose right into his hole. The stench was as bad as last time, but now he had to endure 30 minutes of it. He was practically retching just from the smell of his arse, never mind what was going through his head about what was coming next.
The farts started blasting. They made Darren's eyes water they were so bad.
After half an hour and about 10 farts, Dave got up.
Captain Jim took his gag off, and said "Come and have a breather for a few minutes".
"I don't have to go through with the next bit do I?" inquired Darren.
"Yes, but we're not complete bastards, we'll let you have a small pause. Do you want something to drink? It might be difficult to get all his shit down with a dry mouth."
"Yes please" Darren said with a bit of a tear in his eye.
"Fair enough" said Jim. "Anyone got some water handy?"
A large guy, Craig, stood up. "Yes, I'll give him some."
Craig walked over to Darren.
"Kneel."
Darren thought, "oh fuck, it can't get any worse." He kneeled before Craig.
Craig dropped his shorts and flopped out his dick.
"In yer mouth now" said Craig.
Darren did as he was told.
Craig started emptying his bladder. Darren gulped as fast as he could, and thought, even though a bit strong from running about a field and dehydrating, it was a pleasure compared to what he had been through (and was about to go through).
When Craig finished, he slapped his dick against his face to get rid of the drips, and then pulled up his shorts and sat back down, chuckling.
"Fuck's sake man, I'm bursting" said Dave to Captain Jim. "Can we get started?"
"Yes, I think it's about time" said Jim. "Darren, just take it easy, if it's any consolation at all, we've all done it in this rugby club."
Darren didn't think it was much of a consolation, but then he though if they had all done it, how bad can it be?
"Back down in the same position" instructed Jim.
Darren lay down on the floor looking up.
Dave wandered over and dropped his shorts again. A familiar sight to Darren now.
However this time, instead of him dropping his arse to his nose, he planted his stinking hole right onto his mouth.
Darren began to panic.
Captain Jim said "Darren, I'm not going to lie to you. It's going to be awful. But you'll have a joke to tell in the pub just like the rest of us!"
Darren heard Dave rumble above him, "Just take it easy mate. I've done it, the Captain's done it, not many of the team have not, but mark my words, they will if they want to stay in the team!"
At that point, Darren got a huge rasp of fart straight into his mouth. He coughed a bit, but then had to deal with two more gas onslaughts.
"Fuck" thought Darren. "This is going to be bbbbggglllhgghg..."
That was not so much his thoughts as what happened after the three farts. Dave let rip and filled his mouth to the brim. He didn't taste it much yet, and was scared what to do with a bulging mouthful of shit.
The rest of the team-mates looked on intently. Most them had been there, done that and had the T-shirt, but the ones that had been through it knew how hard it was.
Dave said "Don't try to swallow it down in one gulp, you will be sick and your stomach will be sore. Take it from an old hand. Start chewing, and try and get it liquid before you start to get it down. I'm afraid it will mean you have to taste the full flavour, and I have been eating a lot of junk food recently so it is going to be rotten. It may not sound like good advice, but you'll get through the ordeal all the sooner."
Darren was completely at his mercy. He started to do as he was told. He started chewing. Bloody hell, the taste was not something you could describe to someone who had not done it. It hurt his tongue. It stuck in his teeth. His eyes streamed from the disgusting mess he was trying to chow down on.
He felt the urge to puke and started bucking, but Dave also felt it. "Stop chewing and take a short break till your stomach settles. You will get through this!"
He did so, and after a while, his bile went down. He slowly started to swallow. Every swallow seemed to make the taste worse, but he got through it, and after nearly ten minutes, most of it was all down his throat and into his stomach. Some of it still stuck to his gums and teeth though. He couldn't really get completely rid of the taste.
Dave boomed down, "Let me know when you are finished that mouthful, I'm afraid you have a few more to go."
Darren mustered himself and when it had all gone down, he managed to muffle through Dave's arse, "Yettth, nexht mouthful"
Dave provided as necessary. Similar consistency and taste. Again, he took note of Dave's instructions and paused when he needed to. "Just to remind you, it's not a race, take as long as you need!" said Dave.
Darren continued. But by the end of mouthful four, he couldn't keep a lid on his gag reaction anymore. ""Phleathe Dafe, I muthst throw up!"
Dave jumped off, Darren bent over the bucket and a torrent came out. And it stank the whole place out.
Darren sat up panting.
"Get your breath" said Dave.
Darren sat for a wee while and gradually the bile went down.
"You OK?" asked Dave.
"As good as you might expect" said Darren.
"Well, I'm afraid you're not finished yet. Better get back down on the floor!"
Darren reluctantly did so. Dave dropped his arse, now covered in shit, down back onto Darren's mouth.
The next mouthful was softer but slightly more acrid. Darren wasn't exactly getting used to the taste, but was tolerating it a bit more. He would be challenged more shortly.
By mouthful 6, Dave must have been eating or drinking something a bit rotten.
Darren was lying in position, when Dave unleashed the most awful diarrhoea, practically overflowing his mouth. Dave just managed to stop it in time to stop making a god awful mess in the room.
Dave said "Right, I want you to chew that, even if there is nothing to chew. I expect you to taste it. The easy option with runny shit is just to swallow it down, but not with me. Swish it about and savour the flavour."
Darren was crying with the dreadful mouthful he had. The last thing he wanted to do was make it worse. But then he would lose face with his team-mates who were cheering both him and Dave on.
He started swishing it about. Oh hell, nothing could taste so acrid as this.
Dave relented. "OK, I know that was nasty. Swallow it down."
Darren didn't need a second prompt. Down it went.
"I think this is the last mouthful. Just swallow it in your own time" said Dave.
A smaller squirt of awful shit came into his mouth, but easy to swallow down without the real taste of the last one.
"OK I'm done. You can lick my arse clean now."
Darren did his duty. After all he had been through, this was a walk in the park.
Dave stood up and put his shorts back on.
Huge cheers from the team!
"Darren, you are a real trooper"
"I've had to do it before, but never with Dave, he's legend for the one you DON'T want to get"
"Fuck, I don't want a kiss though, let's head for the baths, apart from you, a toothbrush might be better!"
Captain Jim appeared as Dave and Darren were standing waiting to shower or bath.
"Do you know something Darren? I have worker with Corporal Dave for nearly ten years, and I have never known anyone to get through his load without puking at least three times. The fact you only did it once makes you unique!"
"Permission to speak Captain?" said Dave.
"Of course, stand easy".
Dave began "I seem to recall that you puked five times in a ten mouthful session. In fact you puked when you smelled my arse!"
"Well, what's on tour stays on tour. I trust this will not leave these four walls!" said the captain.
"Your secret is safe with me!" said Dave. "I concur" said Daren, with a rather sore stomach.
It was a difficult job to look Dave, in all his glory, in the eye, knowing what I had just done.
"Well, I'll reward you the only way I know how" said Jim.
Captain Jim knelt down in front of Dave, who already had the signs of a hardon (fuck was all that shit turning him on???"
"Get out your cock" ordered Jim.
Dave obliged. It was a big one, under the flabs of his belly it was bigger than it looked.
Jim started to suck frantically on it. Dave groaned with pleasure, and as he'd been well horned up with the shit scene earlier, it didn't take him long to blow. His cum filled Captain Jim's gob and he kept ramming until it was all out.
Jim tried to say "Woo wher not ment to cum in my muth!"
Dave replied "Swallow it down, or I'll pass on the details of you little games to the papers!"
Jim went "Gulp".
Dave said, "Ok Darren, your turn!"
Jim said "No, not another onmmmpophgggh"
Darren hadn't waited long, in went his cock. He pumped himself into his team captain. Again, it didn't take long, but he was very unsure why he was horned up, after all, he was the victim.
"Aaaaahhhhhh Fuck" went Darren. "Gggghhaaoooouumm!" went Jim.
Both spent, they both pulled up their shorts and went to the changing rooms.
As they were changing back into their normal clothes, Dave asked "No hard feelings? I know it's difficult, I've had to do it three times since I joined this club."
"None, but I would change your diet, you really put me through hell tonight" said Darren.
"Hey, I'm not the worst regardless of what the captain says. Don't get on the wrong side of Liam, or "Bear" as we call him. You were lucky tonight, he's off sick. Don't pull the short straw again!"
But of course it's very likely he might well do so!
Comments appreciated.
darren@darrenstephen.co.uk