`Need You Tonight' Part 1/1
Disclaimer: I am not implying anything about the sexualityor personal beliefs of anyone involved. This story fiction. If you arehomophobic or underage, please leave now.
Do you everwonder if songs mean anything? If they truly reflect the feelings of the peoplesinging it? I do. This story is a song fiction about the song `Need YouTonight' by the Backstreet Boys, and what I think it might mean.
This story is written fromNick's POV
Need You Tonight
Backstreet Boys Millennium
Open up your heart to me And say what's on your mind, oh yes I know that we have been through so much pain But I still need you in my life this time, and--
I need you tonight I need you right now I know deep within my heart It doesn't matter if it's wrong or right I really need you tonight
I figured out what to say to you But sometimes the words they, they come out so wrong, oh yes they do And I know in time that you will understand That what we have is so right this time, and--
I need you tonight I need you right now I know deep within my heart It doesn't matter if it's wrong or right
All those endless times We tried to make it last forever more And baby I know I need you I know deep within my heart It doesn't matter if it's wrong or right I really need you, oh
I need you tonight - I need you, oh I need you baby I need you right now - It's gotta be this, it's gotta be this I know deep within my heart No, it doesn't matter if it's wrong or it's right All I know is baby I really need you tonight
When I'm lying in my bed like this, enveloped by the darkness and the noises of the night that come in through the open window, I start to think. I start to wonder why. The problem is that I can't say `no'. I'm so open, so vulnerable.
Like a turtle without a shell, I'm unprotected against the elements. When he stands in my doorway at night, with that hungry look in his eyes, I can't say `No' and I let him in again. I can't protect myself against that look.
It's not that he doesn't love me. I know he does. It's himself he doesn't love. He can'taccept himself and because of that he methodically destroys both his body and his mind. I can't even count the number of times he came to me at night and was either drunk or stoned or both.
But he's always careful with me. He never hurt me. He never blames me. He loves me too much to do that. The only one he blames and hurts is himself. And it kills me to see him suffer like that. But no matter how hard I try, I can't make him see how right his love for me is.
I've tried to talk to him so many times. And he says he'll try. He promises me that he'll stay with me and tell the guys about us. But in the morning, when he wakes up in my bed besides my naked body, he remembers the things he did hidden by the shadows of the night. And he runs. Runs from himself and me.
I try to sleep, but just as I drift of a knock on the door brings me back to reality. I realize how cold the room has gotten and get up to close the window. Then I open the door. I don't even want to look up. I know who it is and I know that one look into his eyes will make me melt.
"Hi Nicky."AJ whispers. His voice is heavy with desire, but steady and clear. He's sober for once. I finally give in and meet his eyes.
"Hi Alex."There's no use resisting. I close the door behind him and return to the bed. He follows me and sits down next to me.
His hands as he touches my face feel hot on my cold skin. He gently brushes my bangs out of my eyes and lifts up my chin with his finger.
"I'm sorry about Saturday. I panicked. I wanted to stay, but I'm so scared." His eyes are begging me to forgive him. We go through this every time. It's almost like a ritual or like a part of the foreplay.
"Alex,you're wearing me out. I feel like your personal little--whore." My voice is soquiet that I can barely even hear it myself. He sighs and pulls me onto his lap where he cradles me like a little child.
"I'm sorry.I don't want to make you feel like that."
"But you do." My voice is louder now, with an accusing undertone to it.
"Nicky, I love you. I need you so much that it hurts." He looks into my eyes and I canfeel my resistance shrinking. My walls crumble. I am defeated. AJ bends down to kiss me. His lips are chapped and feel scratchy against my moist ones. It's a raw, hungry kiss and I can feel his desire like a burning sensation in my mouth that spreads over my whole body and tingles even in my fingertips and toes.
When we break apart, he quickly pulls his shirt over his head and unzips his jeans. My shirt joins his on the floor, followed by both our boxers. Then we lie down on the bed. His lips and tongue explore my body, starting at the neck and workingtheir way down. He knows me well, knows exactly what to do to push me over the edge.
Aftermaking a detour to my belly button, he comes back up and kisses my face. His breath is already going faster and a thin sheen of sweat on his skin is glistening in the moonlight. I sigh in excitement and he smiles. Quickly he opens the drawer on my nightstand and pulls out a condom and lubricator.
I turn around and soon I can feel the familiar length of his manhood inside of me. Hemoves up and down in smooth, fluid motions and soon I am lost in pure ecstasy.My orgasm is powerful and I can only barely suppress a scream. I feel AJ spilling his semen into me as he, too, comes.
We lie like that for a little while, catching our breath. Then he pulls out and settlesnext to me. Before we fall asleep in a tight embrace he whispers in my ear: "I will try this time. I promise, I'll try." I want to believe him more than anything. Iknow that he means it, but the morning will come and our dream will burst underthe heavy weight of reality that the dawn brings with it.
But it's not morning yet. He's still here with me. I can feel the warmth of his skin andthe touch of his hand on my chest. The scent of our lovemaking is stillhovering above us. And so I curl up in his arms and close my eyes. He's herenow, and for the moment that's enough for me.
Wow--I almost made myself cry there. I know that it's Nick who sings the song, but from my story it could as well be AJ. It's the line `itdoesn't matter if it's wrong or right' that made me think. Anyway, I hope you liked it. Take care j