A New Beginning - Chapter Fourteen
This is a fantasy story involving male to male relations. If reading stories like this is something you don't want to be doing, or it is illegal where you are, I'd suggest you leave. I'd also be wondering what you're doing in the Gay Male section!! If it IS something you want to do then read on.
This is a fantasy and condoms are not used. In the real world you should always practice safe sex.
Neither this story nor any parts of it may be distributed electronically or in any other manner without this header and without the express, written consent of the author (Paul - yvonneva@hotmail.com). Copyright 2001.
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In our last episode.....
When Trevor spooned around me it felt wonderful, feeling the length of his body against me, his chest hair against my back, and this intense heat source nestled against my butt. I snuggled back into him, trying to shut out the world and all it's memories. I concentrating on the fact that I was here with Trevor and wrapped up in his loving arms, my shield against the world outside.
Tonight, I slept easier.
<A New Beginning - Chapter 14>
I opened my eyes slowly, leisurely surfacing from sleep. My familiar bedroom wall stared right back at me. I drowsily rolled over and snuggled up to Michelle, nestling my morning hardon against her hip and lazily caressed her, testing the water to see if she was waking and maybe in the mood.
As my hand encountered chest hair it took a moment for the texture to register. My eyes snapped open and my next reaction was to leap out of bed with a curse.
"Who the fuck are you, and where's Michelle?" I yelled, trying to find something to use for self-defence.
As soon as I had said it, reality started to set back in. The events of the past months flooded into my mind and I started shaking uncontrollably. I started to black out from shock and the sudden change from lying down to standing up (you know how it is when you get up too quickly). In an instant Trevor was holding me, stopping me from falling. As I struggled to regain equilibrium I clung to him, my mind gradually restoring order to its chaos.
I finally got my shaking under control and looked into Trevor's eyes.
"I'm sorry Trev. For a moment I didn't know what was happening. Waking up and seeing my own bedroom wall was so familiar that I momentarily forgot what had happened. I'm sorry!"
"I understand." said Trevor with a quick hug, "It's like at the restaurant. Everything seems so familiar that your mind returns to it's usual routine. No offence taken. Maybe I should sleep in the spare room for a few days to let you get used to it. You just plain don't associate me with here."
"No! Don't do that." I responded quickly. "I want you beside me. It is going to be strange to wake up in my own bed without her, but I'll get used to it. As you say, the routine fooled me. I am SO sorry."
"Hey," crooned Trevor, "Don't apologise for a perfectly normal reaction. It'll take some time to get used to it. There are too many things here to remind you, I can't expect you to accept it all in one go. Now, how about we get some breakfast to settle you down. You look like you could use something to counter the shock."
I nodded.
"So how does it feel to find that your wife has suddenly grown chest hair?" he continued mischievously, "Bit of a shock eh?"
I grinned weakly at him, still coming to terms with the whole event. It had seemed like just another normal morning until I felt the chest hair. It had felt like Michelle's death just had been a terrible dream. I felt the tears start to burn my eyes again and I turned away. Trevor immediately grabbed me from behind in a bear hug.
"It's OK Babe." he murmured quietly into my ear, "It just takes time. You'll get used to me being here, I don't intend to leave anytime soon, but you'll have to face all the memories again. I'm here whenever you need a hug."
I turned in his arms and hugged him fiercely, trying to convey my thanks in the action. After a few moments he released me and we headed for the kitchen where I started to grab cereal and bowls and stuff. Doing the menial tasks associated with breakfast helped me ground myself and I was soon feeling a lot better. Maybe the food helped a little too.
"I really AM sorry it happened Trev," I said as we finished the last mouthfuls of cereal, "but I can't promise it won't happen again. She is everywhere here, and it's like the last few weeks on the Goldcoast never happened. That's why I was in such a mess yesterday. I just plain couldn't handle it alone. You would not believe how glad I am that you are here!"
"I think I get the basic idea." he said, leaning across the table and kissed me gently. I returned the kiss passionately, hungrily, with an almost desperate need. It wasn't going to be easy handling it all, but having him there to support me meant that I would be able to get through it. Alone it would have been hell.
As we cleared up the dishes Trevor asked me what was on the agenda for today.
"Well." I said, "I figure that now that you're here I really should show you around the city. I think it's going to be nice showing you all the touristy things. We rarely went to any of them over recent years. I suppose that in your own city you know it so well that you never do the tourist thing. It's been years since I've been to the National Gallery or Parliament House. It should be fun."
"Oh yeah," I continued. "and perhaps we should get some food to restock this place. I let things go a little after......" I broke off, trying not to face those thoughts again.
"Well the pantry is a little empty anyway." I mumbled in a stilted attempt to end on a better note.
"Sounds good to Me." responded Trevor a little over-cheerfully "I'm going to hop in the shower and then you can show me this here town! You can come wash my back if you like?"
"Could be arranged" I said, grinning at him. "Although if we do that we might never get out to see the city."
"Promises! Promises!" Trevor chuckled as he headed down the hallway towards the bedroom and ensuite. After rinsing the last dish I followed him, looking forward to the day ahead. It really HAD been a long time since I'd done the tourist rounds. You just never seem to get a chance when it's your own home town. It should be a good day.
Joining Trevor in the shower cleared away all the residue of the morning's fright, although we did little more than wash each other and hug. By the time we'd finished showering, dressed and were ready to head out, I was feeling much more refreshed and relaxed.
Canberra in autumn is rather stunning. There are a lot of trees in the city, many of which are deciduous. In autumn most of these go through changes in the most wonderful shades of red and yellow, mixing with the olive and grey-green of the native gums. Particularly in the parks around the lakes the deciduous trees are prevalent, making the views across the lakes stunning as the various colours are reflected in the water along with the glorious eggshell blue of the autumn sky.
Having been on the Gold Coast for the last while, I'd missed the gradual colouring of the leaves. Even as we drove to the local supermarket for food supplies I noticed the difference, seeing all the colour around me that wasn't there when I left. When I left it was hot and dry, now in a few short weeks the temperature had dropped and you could feel winter around the corner. However it certainly wasn't cold yet, and as we drove home from the supermarket I enjoyed the gloriously clear weather, almost like Canberra was welcoming me home.
After we had restocked the house with supplies we headed out sightseeing with the top down on the S2000, enjoying the sunshine and the wind in my hair. Now why didn't I ever buy a convertible?
As Trevor drove us towards the city centre we followed one of the roads that skirted along the north side of Lake Burleigh Griffin, the city's oldest lake. Looking across the lake as we drove both Trevor and I were struck by the beauty of the scenery, Trevor as a first time viewer and myself seeing it again but without having seen the gradual change of previous years. Seeing the beauty of it, and Trevor's admiration, I changed the order of our day, directing Trevor to take us to one of the lakeside parks for a stroll.
Commonwealth Park is not far from Parliament House. In spring it is a riot of flowers as it hosts the Floriade floral display which brings tourists to Canberra from all over the country. In Autumn the flowering bulbs are gone but the leaves on the trees have coloured and are starting to fall and you can look across the lake at Parliament House, the National Gallery, the National Library and the Science and Technology Centre, all framed by various trees both native and introduced. The effect gives a wonderful backdrop to the modern architecture which, when seen from Commonwealth Park across the lake, produce stunning reflections.
Walking with Trevor through the park I was reminded again of how beautiful my city was. As he pointed out things he saw I looked at them like I was seeing them for the first time. Him being a gardener certainly coloured his perceptions as he pointed out and named the trees as we walked by them, commenting on how beautifully the colours came out in the colder climate of Canberra.
We wandered for around an hour, following the paths through the park and around the ponds adjoining the lake. We lay for a time on a grassy slope, looking up at the sky and trying to find shapes in the clouds. I felt like a child again, just enjoying the time I was spending with Trevor and not worrying about anything. It just felt so natural. A few times I caught myself reaching for his hand as we walked and I had to remind myself that I was no longer anonymously on the Gold Coast. It brought me back to reality a little, but I stored the thought for the time being and just tried to enjoy myself. I found it a little amusing just how used to holding Trevor's hand I'd become, something that I never would have thought of doing a few short months ago. I had to chuckle to myself as I thought about my reactions if I had been told a few months ago that I would be walking through a park wanting to hold hands with a guy, let alone waking up in his arms in the morning.
By the time we had finished our walk I was feeling decidedly surreal. Given that I was now back in Canberra it just seemed so strange to be walking peacefully through these familiar surroundings on a glorious autumn day with a guy who I had to stop myself from holding hands with or hugging and kissing.
As we made our way back to the car Trevor must have noticed my detachment (or he had noticed it all along but had not drawn attention to it before) as he said quietly.
"You alright Babe? You seem a little... elsewhere... right now. You OK?"
"Yeah I'm fine." I said, chuckling to myself, "Just thinking about the fact that I'm walking through these parks that I've grown up with, with a stud that I want to grab and kiss so desperately but I'm afraid to do so because someone might see us. I never had to think like that when we were up North.
No-one knew me up there so we didn't need to be so circumspect. Now it's a whole new ballgame."
We hopped into the car and sat as I continued.
"I suppose that this morning I've just forgotten all the troubles I have, just enjoying the time with you seeing my city through new eyes. I felt like a child again, free of responsibilities and cares. I suppose when I realised that I started to look at what I'm really going through. I got so wrapped up in falling in love with you that I never thought about what would happen when I returned home. Now what the hell do I do? How does one go about informing friends that one has a boyfriend?"
I sighed, looking across at Trevor who'd I'd been avoiding eye contact with for the whole conversation. He was staring intently at me, his love and caring so obvious that I threw caution to the wind and leaned across and kissed him briefly. He and placed his hand over my hand, which was resting on my right knee, and gave it a squeeze.
"Just remember," he said in a voice barely above a whisper, "Whatever happens I love you! I am here for you through the good times and the bad. Whether I move here or you move to the Gold Coast, I WILL be there whenever you need me. Everything around you may change, but you can count on that one constant. I love you dearly!"
I felt tears well up inside me again. Boy was I becoming a sap. I rested my head on Trevor's shoulder for a moment with a sigh, hoping no-one was watching, but needing it so much that I didn't really care.
"I love you too Trev, you know that. I'm just starting to get an inkling of the whole idea of 'coming out' to friends. Sort of starting to understand some of those stories that I've read about on the Net. The thought never really comes up when you're falling in love, only surfaces once you're well and truly hooked."
I straightened up and sighed again.
"However! I have no regrets having met you as I love you too much for that.
I might not be rushing out and telling all my friends about you immediately, but I'm not going to let their possible reactions hurt you... hurt us! I think things are going to be a bit rocky for a while, and maybe having your place up in the Gold Coast is going to be a savior if we need to flee, but YOU are my partner now. I love you too much to ever let you go."
I looked around self-consciously and then quickly kissed Trevor, telling him he'd have to make do with that until we were somewhere more private when I could make it up to him. He just grinned and told me he'd hold me to that promise. As he started the car and we backed out of the carpark I felt like I'd accomplished something, making a start on fitting Trevor into my Canberra picture. I was SO glad that we'd started with this visit to the park as I felt so much better for it.
As we headed back out onto the road I could feel a great big goofy grin spreading over my face. I howled into the wind, surprising Trevor so much that he swerved on the road. As he looked across at me with concern he broke into a smile and shook his head, realising that I'd accepted things and was feeling much better. I reached across and ruffled his hair like he was a little kid, then trailed my hand down the back of his neck and along the arm closest to me. I might not be able to openly kiss him, but there were still ways of showing him I was thinking of him. With a last squeeze of his arm I released him, howling into the wind again. This time he kept his eyes on the road, but broke into a wider grin.
Both of us grinning like idiots, we headed for Parliament house and the rest of the tourist traps that we had planned for the day.
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I hope this chapter was worth the wait!!
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