New Beginning

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Neither this story nor any parts of it may be distributed electronically or in any other manner without this header and without the express, written consent of the author (Paul - yvonneva@hotmail.com). Copyright 2006.

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A New Beginning - Chapter 17

Unsurprisingly, I was awake early the next morning. I'd had little sleep, and what I did have was rather broken, so I gave up and got out of bed. I was so unsettled that I skipped my morning shower. I needed to get moving and try to clear my head a little so I headed straight out the door for a walk, which ended up turning into a run. I almost never run, so it showed how much nervous energy I had to get rid of. I was also horny as hell after yesterday, particularly remembering how hot Trevor was when we got home last night, and what happened after that. Despite his moaning Geoff's name the memories still had me seriously turned on, adding to that excess energy I needed to get rid of.

By the time I got back home again 45 minutes later I really needed that shower I had skipped, but I still wasn't in the mood. I knew why I didn't want one, and that in itself bugged me. I didn't want to head into the shower because I knew that Trevor would wake up and then he'd join me. I might have been horny as hell but right now I didn't want to mess around with him. I needed to work out how I felt about last night, and how it would affect us.

I sat down and had breakfast, running through everything in my head whilst I ate. I was so wrapped up I don't recall eating it. I just about hit the ceiling when Trevor spoke.

"You're deep in thought this morning?" he said, looking at me quite seriously. "I didn't want to disturb you but eventually decided it was better to check that you were OK?"

He was sitting in one of the arm chairs, an empty breakfast bowl in his hand. He'd eaten breakfast and I wasn't even aware of him. I looked at the clock and saw an hour had passed since I had sat down. When I looked back at Trevor I realised he must have showered as well.

"I know that look. I saw it at my place when you were sorting through something in your head, like our first encounters for example. So what's on your mind?"

"Oh nothing." I said evasively, "I just had a really bad night's sleep after we got home. I guess I was asleep here and didn't even know it."

"I'm sorry to hear about the bad sleep. It wasn't my selfishness that caused it was it?" he said, looking down at the carpet, apparently embarrassed. "I remembered when I woke up that you got me off first thing yesterday morning and again after we got home last night. That was so hot when we got home, really mind blowing, and I never even said thank you. Both times you ignored your own needs. I'd have been too horny to sleep as well, if I were you and had done that."

He came over and sat down beside me on the lounge, leaning in for a kiss. He then slid his hand gently up my thigh suggestively. The kiss alone put me instantly at attention and I felt myself moan softly.

"Maybe I can help relieve some of that tension for you now?" he said with a grin.

"Nah, not right now." I said, jumping up off the lounge. "I went out for a run earlier and sitting around here half asleep has left me feeling a bit cold. I'm just going to hop in for a quick shower. See you in a few minutes."

As I hurried out of the room and disappeared down the corridor I was unaware of Trevor staring intently at me. He could see that something wasn't right so he sorted through his memories of last night to see if he could work out anything specific that could have caused a problem. He couldn't find anything while we were out last night, so he shifted his thoughts to when we got home. He chewed absentmindedly on his lower lip as he thought about the pressure he'd put on me to take the next step in our physical relationship and although he saw that had not been ideal, he didn't think it would have caused my discomfort so he continued his mental playback. As he reached the culmination of events in his mind he started to suspect what might have happened. He flushed as he remembered more clearly just where his mind had been at that time and what he had said. He cursed quietly as he realised how much of a slap in the face it must have been.

I was, of course, totally unaware of this. After my shower I dried off and got dressed, still forming in my mind what I was going to do about the situation. For now, I was going to try and behave as if nothing had happened. I figured that nothing was going to be gained by discussing it as Trevor probably wouldn't remember it happening. It was one of those things that just slipped out in the intensity of the moment, so for now it just had to be business as usual.

I put on my 'happy face' and headed out into the lounge, telling Trevor that I felt much better after the shower and that we might as well call Geoff and see whether he was joining us to go sight seeing. I saw Trevor hesitate, like he wanted to say something, then nod and head to the phone. Geoff answered almost immediately and we arranged to pick him up and take him with us. We took my station wagon as the S2000 was not designed for three. He was waiting outside his building when we arrived and he quickly folded himself into the back seat.

We visited the 'National Zoo and Aquarium' first, deciding it would be nice to wander around looking at the various animal enclosures on such a nice day. It isn't a large zoo in relation to many others but Michelle and I had always enjoyed it and kept up membership so that we could wander in whenever we liked. None of that "trying to get your money's worth" which you always feel you have to do when you pay an entrance fee. Geoff had headed straight in as soon as we arrived, so it was just Trevor and I at the counter as I had the melancholy job of handing in Michelle's membership card and telling them it was no longer needed. The staff there had known us for a few years so there were commiserations from all who knew us. I'm glad that Trevor was there beside me, offering me silent support. Thankfully there was no-one else waiting to get in at the time or they might have been irritated by the delay.

Inside, we joined up with Geoff and explained why we were delayed. He seemed a little surprised when he heard about Michelle, and I think I could just about hear the wheels turning in his head as he re-evaluated the relationship between Trevor and I. I'm not sure whether he thought we were a couple or not, but the way he looked at Trevor after he heard about Michelle appeared slightly different. He openly flirted with him, figuring that he and I were just friends and that there was no need to be as subtle in his advances any more. Trevor seemed to cope alright, although I noticed that he tried to avoid eye contact with Geoff. I guess he was trying to keep from getting caught up in those eyes again.

I love the zoo as it is so nice to see the animals, even though I don't particularly like the fact that the animals are in cages. I enjoyed wandering around the zoo with Trevor and Geoff, but it did remind me of so many visits here in the past. Michelle and I particularly loved the snow leopards, often sitting for ages watching them stretched out asleep. They are just like big house cats, except they have paws nearly the size of your face, and they have the most glorious markings on their coats. The Giraffes were another favourite of ours, plus some of the marmoset species which are so much like little people. Then of course there are the otters, which carry on constantly trying to find food, begging every time anyone walks by their enclosure. All these things reminded me of Michelle, but I realised that it was easier to be reminded of things now without feeling so much pain. It definitely helped having Trevor there, even if he was flirting with Geoff more than with me today.

Once we had had a good look around we sat down at the zoo cafe and had some lunch. I don't remember what I ate as I was watching the interaction between Geoff and Trevor. Their feelings were certainly mutual, regardless of whether Trevor would want to admit that or not. Trevor was captivated, not just by Geoff's eyes but by everything about him. I may not have liked it but all I had to do was look at Trevor and I would see the fantasy that he must be seeing when he looked at Geoff. I now knew for sure that there was no way this was going to just blow over, as he was seriously in lust with Geoff.

At one point during lunch Trevor, unconsciously I think, reached over and placed his hand over mine, squeezing and holding it. You have no idea how much it meant to me at the time, as it showed that despite his captivation with Geoff he was still thinking about me on occasion. I happened to be watching Geoff at the time and I saw him do a double take, staring at our clasped hands. I placed my other hand over Trevor's, holding his hand between both of mine. Trevor turned and smiled at me, giving me a quick wink, before turning back to Geoff. I don't know whether he even noticed Geoff's wide eyed response, then narrowing of eyes as he recalculated his ideas on our relationship. He then looked at me anew, finding me watching him as he did so. He gave a start of surprise, not realising I had been watching him, quickly covered by a smile. I smiled back at him until he shifted his eyes back to Trevor.

After that I was included in the flirting. I don't know whether that meant that Geoff suddenly realised I wasn't straight, or whether he thought that Trevor and I may be a package deal, but his charm was pretty impressive. I hadn't really had it directed towards me until then, barely having had any conversation with him at all. The effect of his looks, those eyes, and that charm were devastating and I saw just how much trouble Trevor must be having with Geoff's fantasy appeal. Now being a receiver of those charms made me realise just how out of control Trevor must feel.

After lunch we headed off to the `National Museum' for a look around. This is a recent addition to Canberra and generated quite a lot of discussion over its design. To me it is ugly, painted up in garish colours and looking a bit like a giant carry basket or something. It's hard to describe exactly what it looks like but if I just call it "modern architecture" you'll likely get the idea. Inside it is fascinating, with permanent displays on multiple levels as well as theatres for presentations. It also has an area used for touring displays, each lasting a few weeks or months before being replaced by the next one. Some of these charge admission, but the main museum itself is free. The museum is dedicated to showing Australian history and our way of life. There are all sorts of bits and pieces to see and it is easy to spend a lot of time looking through everything.

We spent a good few hours looking around, enjoying all the displays and each other's company. Now that I was included I enjoyed myself much more, Geoff's charm doing wonders for my self-confidence, even if I did have my doubts as to his real intentions. I couldn't fully believe that he could really want me as with his looks and body he could have anyone he wanted. Why settle for someone as plain as me? Trevor on the other hand was a worthy subject, his blonde perfection the foil for Geoff's dark looks. I decided I'd enjoy it while it lasted though, relaxing and having fun with them for the whole visit.

Once we left there we decided to head back to have a look at Geoff's apartment. It was a really nice three bedroom place, stylishly decorated and much larger than I expected. He had based it mainly in black and white, accented by splashes of bright colour. The effect was spectacular, straight out of one of those lifestyle magazines. Despite this it still felt like it was lived in and welcoming, unlike some which tend to be a bit sterile. He'd converted one of the bedrooms into a study and another was dedicated to his gym equipment. Looking at the gym setup he had I could see why his body was so perfect, the equipment was top quality like he'd said last night.

His lounge room had an awesome audio system and the huge plasma television was hooked up in full surround sound. Squarely in front of the TV was a 3 seater white leather lounge with colour accent throw cushions, plus a matching lounge chair on each side. Geoff spread himself out at one end of the three seater, patting beside him for Trevor to sit down. That left me with one of the lounge chairs, which I didn't really mind. We discussed movies and Geoff got up and put one on for us.

I must admit I watched the interaction between Trevor and Geoff more than I watched the movie. I'm not really sure they saw much of the movie either, given how much they were flirting. Geoff was stretched out across two thirds of the lounge, which gave him the perfect opportunity to run his foot up and down the outside of Trevor's thigh whenever he felt like it. A few times when he leant across to talk to Trevor I saw his hand run up the thigh as well, but because of the arm rest I couldn't actually see where it ended up. I had a pretty good idea though, particularly watching the expression on Trevor's face. If Geoff saw me looking at them he'd always give me a smile and occasionally a wink, so I didn't feel like he was trying to do it behind my back.

At one point Trevor got up to go to the toilet. He leant down to kiss me as he went by and I reached up to stroke his prominent bulge as he did so, confirming that he had obviously been enjoying the attention from Geoff. I wasn't sure how he was going to manage to go to the toilet in that state, but I guess he did and returned only a few minutes later, resuming his place on the lounge next to Geoff.

Once the movie was finished Geoff told us to stay seated and he'd fix us some dinner. He obviously did quite a bit of cooking as he very professionally set to work preparing a meal. I moved over to sit next to Trevor, snuggling up against him and chatting while we waited.

"So how have you enjoyed today?" I asked.

"The zoo was cool. So much fun to see all the animals, and those snow leopards were just so cute." He said with a laugh. "The National Museum was interesting. Not quite what I expected, but interesting none the less."

"So what did you think of the movie?"

"It was alright." He said, slightly evasively.

"You didn't see much of it, did you?"

"Er... No, not really." He said, hanging his head a bit, "I got a bit distracted."

"Yeah I noticed. I really don't mind, Babe. He is pretty fascinating isn't he? And he could charm all four legs off a donkey, then even persuade it to go for a walk afterwards. He's good!"

Trevor nodded and we both laughed.

"Yeah, he is pretty persuasive isn't he?" Then he looked a little uncomfortable, like he was steeling himself to ask something. "Do you remember our discussion on the lawn the other day?"

I nodded.

"Do you remember us talking about sharing my ideal man if we found him? I know we were only joking, but how would you honestly feel about that?"

I could feel myself freeze as my inhibitions arose in front of me. I had been flirting and only joking, yet thrilled by the idea at the same time. Half my mind wanted to scream no, while the other half already had blood surging to a certain part of my body just thinking about it. The idea was scary and yet intensely exciting at the same time. I looked closely at Trevor and saw how much he wanted this. My inhibitions were getting in the way again, just like they did last night when Trevor wanted me to take him. I knew that if we didn't do this Trevor would always wonder. While Trevor was enough for me I knew that I wasn't enough for him right now. Geoff was a thrill that Trevor was desperate to experience, and I couldn't let myself stand in his way. I forced myself to smile at him, trying to suppress my doubts.

"Sounds good to me!" I said, trying to sound as sincere as possible.

Trevor's face lit up like a Christmas tree. He looked like he'd just won the lottery or something, positively beaming as he wrapped his arms around me and said thank you. I ended up flat on my back on the lounge with him on top of me, kissing me soundly in thanks.

"Hey guys, get a room." yelled Geoff from the kitchen.

We separated immediately, but grinned at each other.

"OK, how about your room after dinner?" Trevor yelled back. "You want to join us?"

"Hell, we can always forget dinner and go there now if you want?" called Geoff with a laugh, not really thinking we were serious.

"I think we might need to have dinner first." said Trevor, on his feet and walking towards the kitchen, "We'd need to keep our strength up wouldn't we?"

I hopped up and told Trevor I had to go to the toilet. He turned back to me as he entered the kitchen, flashing me a huge smile. He was so excited he was like a kid who'd just received his birthday present. I headed off to the toilet, trying to work out exactly how I felt. Yes, I had said it was OK, but it still worried me. My inhibitions were strong and now I was going to be in a threesome with a guy we had met only a couple of days ago. I really wasn't sure how to handle all of this, but I knew that I'd do it for Trevor. I'd do just about anything for Trevor, but I guess that is what love does to you.

When I returned I got an appraising look from Geoff. I guessed that Trevor had talked to Geoff about our discussion and told him that we were serious. I could tell that Geoff was rethinking his ideas of me again, like he did at the zoo. I was surprised at myself and could only imagine what it must be like for him.

We sat down to our meal at the dining table. It fit in perfectly with the decor as it was elegant black wrought iron with a glass top. It was only a small four seat table, but that made it a bit more intimate. When Geoff ran his foot up my leg I choked and spat out my mouthful of food in shock. Despite the glass table top I hadn't noticed his foot coming my way so it was a complete surprise. I could see Trevor watching me with amusement when it happened and I guessed it had been pre-arranged by them. They both laughed and I ended up joining them once I had stopped coughing. That sort of broke the ice, and we laughed and flirted through the rest of the meal.

By the end of the meal I was a lot more comfortable with the whole idea of tonight. I could feel a nervous tension between the three of us; I guess it was anticipation of what was to come. In my case it was also a good measure of horniness, with my satisfying of Trevor yesterday. I still was rather nervous, given that this wasn't something I've ever done before and not something I had really "planned" to do. We all ended up fidgeting through dinner as we wanted to go straight to dessert. Once we'd finished eating we took our plates out to the kitchen and Geoff told us to leave them there for tomorrow.

"So shall we?" he said, gesturing towards his bedroom and giving me a mischievous wink.

Trevor just grinned broadly, taking one of my hands and one of Geoff's and leading us towards the bedroom. Having been so long out of the dating scene and having so little experience with guys, I almost felt like I was back to being an inexperienced teenager stumbling over his first sexual encounter. We all knew what was going to happen, but I for one really didn't know how to initiate the damn thing and it made me even more nervous. What exactly are the correct protocols to start a threeway sex romp? Thankfully Trevor sensed my disquiet and as soon as we were in the bedroom he grabbed me into a big hug, whispering in my ear that I shouldn't worry and to just relax and go with the flow.

I was momentarily surprised when a second set of arms enveloped me as Geoff joined us. I turned my head to look at him and he leaned in to kiss me, then turned and kissed Trevor. We sort of ended up in a group huddle, freely swapping kisses with each other and running our hands over each other's backs. Geoff then took the initiative and slid his right hand around to fondle Trevor's package, bringing his left hand around to do the same to mine a moment later. It was kind of cool to be kissing Trevor, knowing that someone else's hands were on us at the same time.

After enjoying this for a short while, Trevor gave me a nod and flicked his eyes towards Geoff and then back to me. I got the message and in tandem we turned and attacked Geoff, running our hands over his chest, and back and then taking turns stroking the considerable bulge in his jeans. With both of us attacking him he just moaned, increasing in volume as Trevor started unbuttoning his shirt and I started running my hands through the short, dark chest hair he exposed. As the last button was undone Geoff shook the shirt off his shoulders and we could get a good close look at that lovely torso we'd been admiring on the dance floor. Trevor started laving his nipples with his tongue while I ran my right hand over Geoff's broad back and my left hand lightly up and down those incredible washboard abdominals that he'd been working so hard on in his gym. Now I had experience with Trevor's abs, which I thought were wonderful, but I had to admit that Geoff's were even better defined. Each individual muscle was perfectly delineated, each ripple so impressive. His back was a solid mass of muscle which quivered as I stroked it lightly.

By the look on Geoff's face he was in absolute heaven as we both attacked him, his eyes closed and a big smile on his face. As I ran my hand down his abs and along the top of his jeans I discovered the head of his cock poking just out of the waistband. As my fingers started to stroke his cock head, Geoff's threw his head back and an even louder moan escaped him. Trevor stopped his nipple work and looked down, glancing up at me with a grin after he discovered what I was doing. While I kept stroking the head he undid the zipper and top button of Geoff's jeans, freeing the monster within. Trevor had not been exaggerating last night. There were definitely horses that would have been jealous. Now it may have been my inexperience (hey, I'd only ever actually seen Trevor's up close, so I hadn't exactly been around) but to me Geoff was almost unbelievably huge! As we slid the jeans down his muscular legs we saw that he was going commando so there was no underwear to get in the way.

"We both said we wanted to explore an uncut dick." said Trevor, "So here's our chance. Let's have fun!"

"I just wasn't expecting to explore a monster like this." I said with a quiet chuckle.

As he sank to his knees he grabbed my arm and dragged me to my knees beside him. We now both got our first close up look at an uncircumcised penis. As Trevor wrapped his hand around its length and slowly started to jack it I looked up at Geoff. He was looking at us both with a somewhat glazed expression, obviously enjoying what we were doing. I reached up and stroked his balls and his eyes closed in ecstasy at the sensations we were creating.

I returned my attention to centre stage, watching as the foreskin rolled forward over the head then back. It was just so sexy watching the foreskin move and I wished I could experience the feelings that Geoff must be having as it rolled back and foreward over the head. I licked my thumb and when Trevor next exposed the head I rubbed my thumb around the rim, pausing to give extra attention to where the nerves gather. Geoff gasped, his hips bucking at the extra stimulation, and his long groan told me that he was enjoying himself.

I smiled at Trevor and we kissed, both of us continuing our work on Geoff as we did. We then swapped what we were doing, my hand replacing his, wrapped around Geoff's shaft. The extra skin moved more smoothly than I was used to on either Trevor or myself, gliding easily along the ample length. It was even more of a sensation of velvet on steel, so soft and yet so hard. It was a real turn on feeling my hand running along his length and watching the head appear and disappear under his foreskin. With my hand wrapped around Geoff I also realised just how large he really was, both in length and in width. He was way bigger in all dimensions than either myself or Trevor, and both of us are decently above average. Trevor reached out with his tongue and licked the head each time it was exposed, then took the head in his mouth, sucking gently while I continued stroking. We were rewarded with a louder groan from Geoff and he muttered something we couldn't quite catch.

He started to slowly thrust his hips as a counterpoint to my stroking, increasing what he was feeling from Trevor's mouth.

As we continued our ministrations to Geoff I slid my other hand up Trevor's thigh, intending to stroke him through the material of his jeans. Instead I found his zip already undone and his hand already stroking himself. I guess he just couldn't help himself, with the excitement of having his lips wrapped around that monster cock and all. I took over from his hand, now experiencing for the first time what it was like to have a man grasped firmly in each hand. That in itself was a big turn on I found, enhanced when Trevor undid my zip and took mine out as well. We stayed that way for a few minutes, all three of us enjoying the feeling of a hand that was not our own jacking us. Trevor eventually unglued his mouth from Geoff's cock and started to kiss his way up his stomach and chest, pausing to give attention to both his nipples on the way.

Once he reached the top of that beautiful chest he kissed along his collar bone and up his neck, working his way around to his lips. Geoff ardently returned his kiss and I heard Trevor moan as he got even higher on kissing this hunk straight out of his fantasies. Still jacking both of them I watched that passionate kiss, finding it turned me on way more than I expected it to. I guess I had never really thought about watching guys kiss, but there was such passion there, even if it was my lover kissing someone else, and I could feel Trevor quivering as I continued to stroke him. While kissing him I could see that Geoff had his eyes open watching Trevor so I told Trevor to open his eyes as well, knowing what the effect would be. As his eyes opened and he looked into Geoff's eyes I heard him gasp. Though still locked in a passionate kiss, he let out a low moan as he lost himself in those eyes. A moment later he started involuntarily thrusting his hips and I felt him swell in my hand as he lost control and started to shoot. As Trevor went over the edge I heard a soft moan from Geoff as well, as he got turned on by watching Trevor's orgasm in his eyes. As I was still jacking him I felt him swell in my hand too and I thought he might also lose it, but he kept himself in control and continued to watch Trevor intently as he surfed the waves of intensity.

Trevor's eyes stayed locked onto Geoff's as he shuddered through his orgasm while I continued to milk him with my hand. By now Geoff's arms were all that was holding Trevor up as his knees went somewhat wobbly, but he eventually recovered enough to stand on his own. By this time I had stopped stroking him as I realised he'd be too sensitive, but I continued to stroke Geoff who was still watching him intently. Once he could stand by himself Geoff quickly removed Trevor's T-shirt, pausing a moment to enjoy the view of his naked torso, then turned and pushed him backwards onto the bed. I let go of the prize I had been stroking throughout, then watched as Geoff bent to remove his own shoes and jeans from around his ankles. I couldn't help myself and had to run my hands over his arse and down his legs while I had the opportunity. Geoff jumped at my first contact but otherwise just kept at what he was doing.

Once he was naked he then removed Trevor's shoes and jeans, leaving him lying naked on the bed. He then stood and stretched for our visual enjoyment, showing off that wonderful body now in all it's naked glory. I could see Trevor just drinking in the sight, enjoying as I did that broad chest, those stunning washboard abdominals and that impressive weapon he had packed down his pants last night. Then his eyes widened slightly as Geoff knelt on the bed between his legs. I saw him look down at Geoff's impressive piece and swallow hard, realising what Geoff was intending. At first I thought he was going to refuse, but then he looked back into Geoff's eyes and any resistance on his part disappeared immediately as he lost himself in his fantasy man again. Geoff reached into a bedside drawer and pulled out a condom and some lube.

"Here, make yourself useful." he said stonily as he tossed them to me.

That was when I had my first doubts as to where this was going. There was a definite note to his voice which to me told me I wasn't really a part of this, but I hoped it was just my insecurities and my imagination. I put a little lube into the tip of the condom to increase the sensitivity for Geoff then carefully rolled it on to his considerable length, slathering lube all over it after I had finished. I figured that Trevor was going to need as much lubrication as possible to accommodate that monster. All the while Geoff was kissing Trevor, staring intently into his eyes and pretty much ignoring what I was doing. I also carefully lubed Trevor's pucker, slipping a finger inside to start preparing him for the onslaught that was coming.

Almost immediately Geoff pushed my hand away, placing his cock head against Trevor's anus. I didn't know whether I should warn Trevor what was about to happen or just let it be. Mixed in with all this was my sadness that it wasn't me about to enter Trevor. I wished so much that it was me looking into his eyes and about to make love to him. Maybe if I had done that last night it would have been my name that Trevor moaned instead of Geoff's? Maybe if I wasn't so inhibited we would have been at home together now doing this, instead of here at Geoff's house with him about to enter my lover?

As Geoff pushed Trevor's knees up to his chest I couldn't help but watch, fascinated yet sort of horrified by the size of what was about to enter Trevor. Geoff pushed the head slowly into Trevor, stretching his ring wide and eliciting a whimper from Trevor as the pain increased. Once the head was inside Geoff waited a moment, letting Trevor briefly get used to his presence, all the while staring into his eyes from a few inches away. Then Geoff inexorably started to push into Trevor, feeding his length in inch by inch. Trevor cried out in pain as he penetrated further inside, stretching his hole tremendously and to my eyes entering way too quickly for something of that size. I would have thought that even a seasoned veteran would have had trouble accommodating Geoff and it had been quite some time since anything bigger than a finger had been inside Trevor, so the pain must have been almost unbearable. As I watched the anguish on Trevor's face increase I saw a smirk of satisfaction appear on Geoff's face, showing that apparently he was getting off on Trevor's pain and reaction to his intrusion.

I was really uncertain what to do. On the one hand I didn't like seeing Trevor in so much pain but on the other I knew that from what I had read there was always pain on entry. I knew that even a finger up my arse was uncomfortable at first, so I could only imagine what Trevor must be feeling right now. That pinpointed my problems, the fact that I had never experienced it myself. I had no idea what Trevor was really feeling and whether it was too much or not. I just had to sit and watch as Geoff stopped about 3/4 of the way in and then lunged the last few inches in one go. As Trevor screamed in pain I felt I had to do something to help him. I started to tell Geoff to stop, only to have him turn his head and stare at me in a way that told me in no uncertain terms that he was in control and to shut my mouth. That look told me for sure that it had not been my imagination earlier and that I was no longer welcome to take any part in proceedings. This was no longer a "threesome" but rather it was Geoff claiming Trevor as his prize.

All I could do was watch as Geoff slowly withdrew and then slammed into Trevor, again drawing a squeal of pain. Even with my worries I couldn't help but marvel at the power in Geoff's body as he started fucking Trevor with long slow strokes. He kept slamming into him and each time there was less reaction from Trevor until he was moaning softly as he started to feel pleasure instead of pain. Each time Geoff thrust I could see every muscle flex, from his shoulders to his abs to his arse. If he hadn't been fucking my lover I would have thought it was poetry in motion, but instead I felt a chill.

I slowly got up from where I was kneeling beside the bed, as I could no longer watch this happening. I tucked myself back into my pants and zipped up, moving to the bedroom door to leave. As I looked back at the bed I saw Trevor look towards me, registering surprise for a moment as he saw I was dressed and about to leave. At that moment Geoff changed the angle of his thrusting and Trevor's eyes glazed over as his prostate was hit repeatedly, assaulting his senses with pleasure. He started moaning loudly and after that I don't think he even saw me, wrapped up as he was in the sensations.

I left the room and closed the door, leaning against the wall to try to steady myself. Even with the door closed I could still hear Trevor's moans, driving me crazy. If only I had had the guts it might have been me provoking those moans instead of Geoff. I just wanted to scream with the frustration of it all. I quickly grabbed my jacket and virtually ran out the front door, feeling a little better when the cold air hit me. I went straight to my car and hopped in, sitting for a moment to collect my thoughts. While I felt guilty leaving Trevor I knew that he was enjoying every moment of what he was receiving, so much so that I think he had forgotten I was in the room until he saw me at the door ready to leave. I also knew from last night how much he wanted the same from me, yet I had let him down. At least now he could be serviced by a real man, someone fully in control and able to deliver exactly what he wanted. Trevor knew my address and phone number and I was sure that Geoff would drive him home if he wanted it, so there was no problem in my not waiting for him. Besides, the way it looked in there they would be occupied for quite a while anyway, perhaps all night.

I started the car and then drove home, trying to concentrate on the road ahead instead of the scene taking place in Geoff's apartment. When I got home I went straight to my bedroom and crawled into bed, trying to clear my mind as well as possible to help me get to sleep. I kept seeing Geoff thrusting into Trevor, taking my place in my fantasies. For the second night in a row sleep was very slow coming.

I woke alone. For a moment this surprised me, making me realise again just how much I had integrated Trevor into my life. After a few moments I remembered what had happened last night and why I was waking alone. I felt vaguely sick at the memory, not helped at all by the fact that I had had very little sleep. I'd tossed and turned all night, agonising over the events at Geoff's. I am good at agonising, in fact I have been good at it since I was a kid. I used to go to bed at night when I was 7 or 8 and lie awake for hours, unable to turn off my mind and get to sleep. I'd go through everything that had happened that day, plus anything else that was bothering me at the time. Some nights I'd lie awake for 4 hours or more until I finally fell asleep. Unfortunately this inability to switch off stayed with me into adulthood, giving me many a sleepless night. I also seemed to have this ability to remember what was bothering me almost instantly when I woke up during the night, usually meaning that I managed to obsess about it for a while then as well, before falling back to sleep eventually. It was, and is, an ability that I really do wish I could lose. I envy those who can fall asleep virtually as soon as their head hits the pillow. Michelle could fall asleep almost immediately, some nights I could be talking to her and 30 seconds later her breathing would change and she was out of it. Some nights it made my sleeplessness even more frustrating.

Last night, when I did get to sleep, I kept waking from dreams of Trevor and Geoff. I'd eventually fall back into a fitful sleep, only to be awakened later by more dreams. I knew I was obsessing about the situation but that knowledge didn't do anything to help me switch off and sleep. I kept imagining the rest of the scene after I walked out, the moans from Trevor increasing in volume as Geoff kept pushing all the right buttons, then his eventual eruption, which might have set Geoff off as well. The visions were stimulating as well as sickening, leaving me half hard for much of the night. I kept wondering whether I should have stayed, whether Trevor was alright, or whether they might be having round two right then as I was thinking about it? Of course now that it was morning they might be waking up and making use of their morning wood, exploring each other more thoroughly without the animalistic needs of last night.

These thoughts, constantly running through my head, eventually drove me out of bed. I couldn't lie there thinking about it any more so I hopped into the shower to try and relax a little. It actually helped a lot and I felt a bit more focused and in control by the time I had finished. I forced myself to have some breakfast after that, despite the fact that I didn't feel at all hungry. I knew that it was just a reaction to the events of last night and that some food in my stomach would be good for me. I then decided I couldn't just sit around the house moping so I went out for a walk, at least that way I could put my nervous energy to some good use and get some exercise. I grabbed my mobile phone, hoping Trevor might call me, and my headphones and set off down the road at a somewhat brisk pace. Usually I am not much of a walker but this morning I could have won an Olympic 20 km event. I walked for about an hour, managing to walk off some of the frustration I was feeling and enjoying the songs on the radio which were helping distract me.

I got back about 11 am, which I figured was late enough to try calling Trevor without waking him. His mobile just rang, eventually going to Messagebank, but I didn't leave a message. He'd know the number was mine and call if he wanted to. My mind went through all the possible reasons he didn't answer, the most obvious of course being that he was currently having mad passionate sex with Geoff again and wasn't available to answer it. Of course it may have been more innocent and he was just in the shower, but I couldn't help going over all the possibilities. After sitting in front of the television for 15 minutes and not actually "watching" anything I turned it off and tried calling him again (see, I told you I obsessed). This time the phone was turned off, going straight to the answering service. I left a short message for him and then hung up the phone.

Now there were tears in my eyes. Unless his phone had coincidentally run out of battery between my phone calls the only explanation was that he had turned it off. To do so he would have had to have seen I called and then decided not to ring me back. I got the message loud and clear that he did not want to be disturbed. I guess my earlier fears were confirmed and they were continuing in bed this morning where they left off last night, not wanting to be bothered by the sound of the phone ringing. I sat and stared at the blank television with tears running down my face.

Maybe an hour later I shook myself out of my morbidity. If Trevor wanted to call me he knew where to find me. I decided to put my time to good use and started to clean up the house as it was really a mess. I'd tried to clean up before I left for the Gold Coast but I'd done a miserable job. I rang Trevor's mobile a couple of times during the next few hours, each time finding it went straight to Messagebank without ringing. It was either turned off or out of range, more likely the former. I regularly checked my own phone to make sure I hadn't missed his call, as I was using the vacuum cleaner at times and it might have drowned out the sound, but unfortunately there never was one.

At 3 pm I gave up on the cleaning, thoroughly frustrated. I'd "cleaned" the living room 3 times and it still didn't look like I'd done anything. I was trying to use my nervous energy but I couldn't concentrate enough to do anything effectively. I decided to go to Geoff's apartment and see if Trevor was alright. If I found them still at it then at least I knew what was going on, but this waiting for nothing was just driving me crazy. I hopped into my car and sat in the driveway for a few minutes, wondering whether I was doing the right thing.

I eventually backed out of the driveway and headed off to Geoff's place, parking almost exactly where I did last night. I walked up the stairs to the apartment and stood outside, listening to see if I could hear anything going on inside. I really didn't want to interrupt them if they were still continuing on from last night, but I couldn't stand any longer not knowing what was happening. I couldn't hear any clear voices so I couldn't tell if anyone was home or not, although I thought I could hear the television on. I raised my hand to the doorbell, unsure what sort of welcome I was going to receive.

I heard the doorbell ring inside and the sound of hurried footsteps coming towards the door.

------------------------ to be continued ---------------------------------

Thanks have to go to both Ray and Bill, your Canadian and Scottish ANB correspondents, who have been proof reading for me. This would all be a complete mess without them. Thanks guys!!

A reminder to please include ANB in the subject line if you're emailing me for the first time.

Paul in Australia. yvonneva@hotmail.com